Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[ominous music]

‐ All right, the museum security system is disabled.

Now, remember, only grab the most expensive pieces.

‐ How do we know which ones are the most expensive?

‐ I don't know, the fucking big ones.

What are we‐‐ what do you base it off of?

Is anything gilded?

If you see a frame, fucking grab that.

What the hell is this, a cardboard box?

‐ Oh, uh, yeah, I heard about this cardboard box exhibit.

It's, uh‐‐it's‐‐it's all recycled from cardboard boxes.

‐ Wait, Kyle, why are you stealing their exit signs?

‐ Oh, no, boss, these are from the Exit Sign Exhibit.

This door just goes to the janitor's closet.

Wait, or is this the janitor's closet exhibit?

‐ God, I fucking hate modern art.

[sighs] Oh, Jesus.

Who the hell is this guy?

‐ Oh, he must be one of those living art exhibits.

‐ I am not a celebrity.

[gun clicks]

[gunshot] [grunts]

‐ Well, now you're not alive either.

All right, guys.

‐ [grunts] Yeah.

‐ [grunts] ‐ Get off me.

Knee to the face, backhand to the mouth.

That's right, motherfucker.

All right, Doctor Havoc.

You 'bout to get fucked up.

‐ Oh, good for you.

‐ What?

‐ No, I just‐‐ I think it's really great.

You know, I've actually been advocating

for more diversity in our field.

‐ What the fuck are you talking about?

‐ I'm just saying,

I‐ I think it's about time

we had some black superheroes.

‐ What? Why do you assume I'm black?

‐ Wait. Are‐‐are you serious?

‐ My costume covers my entire body.

You can't even see my skin color.

‐ Well, no, I‐I‐I can't see that you're black.

But, you know, I‐I did notice

a few‐‐there were‐‐ there's hints that,

you know, I‐‐that‐‐the‐‐ the candor, you know.

‐ Man, fuck you.

‐ All right. All right. Maybe I'm wrong.

You know, I‐I clearly have

no idea what race you might be.

Uh, what's your superhero name again?

‐ Super Jamal.

‐ Oh, come on. ‐ What?

‐ What are your superpowers?

‐ I can run really fast and jump really high.

‐ Oh, for God's sakes.

‐ What? There's plenty of superheroes

who can leap a tall building in a single bound.

‐ I'll tell you what.

Why don't you just take off your glove for a minute?

You don't have to reveal your identity,

and we'll solve this whole problem.

‐ I don't want to.

‐ Why not? ‐ Because.

‐ Because you have a black hand.

‐ Because I don't want to have to do something

just because some racist cracker super villain

told me to. ‐ I'm not racist.

Look, Super Jamal,

I think it's great that you're a black superhero.

I think there should be black super villains.

I think you should be very proud of who you are.

‐ If I was black,

would I give a [bleep] about some

old white man stealing modern art?

‐ All right. Well, that is one for you.

Quick test.

‐ Oh, man. That don't mean shit.

‐ Mm?

‐ All right, fuck this.

Look, Havoc. Wait, are you black?

‐ What? No.

‐ Are you sure?

Because your skin is pretty dark.

‐ No, I'm just‐‐ I'm just really tan.

Okay? We're in Phoenix in July.

I have a good base coat.

‐ "Base coat." What are you, then?

Middle Eastern or something?

‐ What? No, whoa, no, no, no, no.

‐ Whoa‐ho‐ho‐ho! What's wrong with that?

‐ Nothing. Nothing wrong with that.

I'm just not Middle Eastern.

Plus, let's be honest,

the whole image of a, uh, Middle Eastern super villain

is, uh, not really good optics right now.

‐ What's the matter, Havoc?

Somebody afraid to discuss his ethnicity?

‐ No, I just‐‐look,

I naturally have an olive skin tone.

Okay? My family's Greek.

‐ Oh, they Greek, huh?

What part of Greece are they from?

Iraq? Beirut?

‐ All right. You know what? Fine.

Clearly, this is not going anywhere.

Why don't we just shake hands and agree

to remain ethnically ambiguous?

‐ All right. Deal.

Hey, what? ‐ Aha!

‐ What the‐‐ God damn it, Havoc.

‐ There, now doesn't that feel better

just to have that out there?

‐ [grunts] Motherfucker!

[both grunting]