Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:13,410
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:17,953
♪ ♪
3
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:28,097
‐ Dear diary, my life's always
been kind of a mess,
4
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:31,025
but today,
shit got literal.
5
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,996
[foreboding music]
6
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,743
Von Duct, we're gonna need
to clone some more henchmen.
7
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,809
Had a bit of a bloodbath today
at the diamond heist.
8
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,537
‐ Ah, Dr. Havoc,
9
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,343
your timing couldn't
have been better.
10
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:45,584
[clears throat]
11
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,649
I am pleased to announce
that as of today,
12
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,489
we are no longer using
the henchmen.
13
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,085
‐ What? Why not?
14
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,886
‐ I have just completed
the final round
15
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,858
of testing
on our newest program,
16
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,057
real cutting‐edge stuff.
17
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,958
It's all the rage in villainy
right now.
18
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,230
[clears throat]
19
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,198
Behold.
20
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,826
‐ Oh...
[gibberish]
21
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:05,901
Ooh!
22
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,343
‐ What the fuck
am I looking at right now?
23
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,865
‐ [gibberish]
24
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:11,871
‐ [laughs]
25
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,612
That, Dr. Havoc, is a minion.
26
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,782
‐ A minion?
‐ Now, just to be clear,
27
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,478
when I say he's a minion...
[clears throat]
28
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,450
I mean the position that this
creature will fulfill
29
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,220
in the service to you
is that of a minion.
30
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:28,089
It is not, in fact,
31
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,318
the creature's proper name.
32
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:31,734
‐ What's the difference?
33
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,325
‐ About a $15 million lawsuit.
34
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,428
‐ Oh, oh, okay.
35
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,400
In that case,
what are their proper names?
36
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,798
‐ iPhone 6S.
37
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,804
‐ Okay.
38
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,143
So why are we doing minions
instead of henchmen?
39
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,368
‐ Ah, well, you see,
Dr. Havoc,
40
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,314
the minions work
in mass numbers,
41
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,709
far more so than
the typical henchmen.
42
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,412
[suspenseful music]
43
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:56,483
[both speaking gibberish]
44
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,422
‐ Oh, I see,
so we can make minions
45
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,764
faster than we make henchmen.
46
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,059
‐ Better than that,
the minions have the ability
47
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:11,771
to reproduce on their own
at an incredible rate.
48
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,825
‐ Is that, uh‐‐is that
what's happening over here?
49
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,904
‐ [grunting]
‐ [moaning]
50
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,181
‐ [laughs]
Uh, ye‐‐uh, yes.
51
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:27,076
The minions can reproduce
five‐ to seven‐fold every day.
52
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,320
‐ Yeah. I think this guy
53
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,675
might be shooting blanks
over here.
54
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,753
‐ [grunting]
55
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,927
‐ Admittedly, the minions,
they are a bit odd,
56
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:43,026
but trust me, they
can be incredibly effective
57
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,200
as a fighting force.
58
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,867
‐ Yeah, that one's
chewing on a gun.
59
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,366
‐ [babbling]
60
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,468
[yelps]
61
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,137
‐ Okay, okay.
62
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,239
So‐‐so they're not quite
as intelligent as the henchmen.
63
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,742
‐ He's humping
the dead one now.
64
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,814
‐ [grunting]
65
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:02,878
‐ Hey, hey, stop that.
66
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,323
‐ [gibberish]
67
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:05,917
‐ Look, Von Duct,
I don't see
68
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,689
how these fucking little
goo balls are ever gonna
69
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,758
be any kind of effective
fighting force.
70
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,016
I mean‐‐
‐ No, no, Dr. Havoc,
71
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,334
there is no‐‐no need
for combat acumen
72
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:16,196
when we can overwhelm
the enemy with sheer numbers.
73
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,656
It's the North Korean model.
74
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:18,674
[clears throat]
75
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,895
Observe what happens
76
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,640
when they work together
as a unit.
77
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,335
Minions, bring me
the clone machine.
78
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,839
[all speaking gibberish]
79
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,212
‐ Wow. Okay.
80
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,780
Well, that's actually
pretty impressive.
81
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,008
‐ Now, just imagine hundreds‐‐
82
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,284
no, thousands
of these minions,
83
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:40,023
an entire army all working
together as one.
84
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,920
No forces ever would be able
to stop us.
85
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,263
[laughing]
86
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:48,158
‐ Uh, Von‐‐Von Duct,
little, uh...
87
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,601
[clears throat]
88
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,603
‐ I s‐‐hey, hey,
don't do that.
89
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,371
I said no!
Nein, nein!
90
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,869
Leave your friend alone.
91
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,844
[alarm blaring]
92
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:06,053
‐ Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
93
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,906
Intruder alert.
94
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,324
‐ All right, move, move, move.
95
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,946
[dramatic music]
96
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:14,051
‐ Oh, Dr. Havoc,
the time is here.
97
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,264
Now we get to see
the minion force at work.
98
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,957
Minions, attack!
99
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,029
[all grunting]
100
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,265
‐ [laughs]
101
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,966
The military doesn't know
what they're in for.
102
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,339
[gunfire]
103
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,807
‐ Mother of God.
104
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:36,236
[gunfire continues]
105
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:39,013
[dramatic rock music]
106
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,012
♪ ♪
107
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,013
‐ [exclaims]
108
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,024
[grunts]
109
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,345
‐ [exclaims]
110
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,420
[grunts]
111
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,247
‐ [exclaims, grunts]
‐ [exclaims]
112
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,253
[grunts]
113
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:50,164
[both grunting]
114
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:51,964
‐ Huh?
115
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,958
Oh...
116
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,030
Ooh.
117
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,858
Jcha‐cha!
118
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,873
[grunting, laughing]
119
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,036
♪ ♪
120
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,695
‐ [gibberish]
‐ Oh, God!
121
00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:04,873
One of 'em's got me.
122
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,871
‐ Aha, now we're talking.
123
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:13,084
♪ ♪
124
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:15,649
Ah, we were so close.
125
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,749
‐ Oh, God damn it, they're
getting in the air ducts.
126
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:41,981
[all speaking gibberish]
8431
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
