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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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‐ Dear Diary, I'm trying
to end these entries
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on an optimistic note
from now on, so let's see.
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As of today, my odds
of killing Brock Mason
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are now twice as good as they
were yesterday.
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Let me explain.
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[drilling]
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Von Duct, is the sonar ready
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to be put
into the submarine yet?
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‐ Oh, Dr. Havoc,
so good to see you.
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Is that a new coat?
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Looks very handsome.
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You are a very handsome guy,
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but you‐‐you have parted
your hair differently, yeah?
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‐ Okay.
I'm gonna assume that you're
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sucking up to me because
the sonar is not ready.
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‐ Why, to the contrary.
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All that we have to do is hook
up the battery which
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my assistant is bringing in
right now.
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‐ Your assistant?
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‐ Carl, we need the battery.
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‐ [grunts]
Here you go, sir.
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‐ Carl, careful with that.
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That's delicate equipment.
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‐ Sorry, sir.
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‐ You're killing me, Carl.
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‐ What‐‐what‐‐what the fuck
was that?
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‐ What was what?
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‐ Uh, your assistant.
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What is with your assistant?
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‐ Oh, don't worry about him.
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He's a worthless piece
of shit.
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‐ No, that's not what I mean.
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Carl, can you come in here?
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‐ [panting]
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‐ Y‐yes?
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‐ Why the fuck does your
assistant look like me?
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‐ [chuckles] Oh, well, uh,
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you see, he's a clone.
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‐ Wha‐‐and who gave you
permission to clone me?
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‐ Well, as you know,
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eh, I needed an assistant,
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and I figured if I was going
to clone somebody
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uh, I better use the best DNA
I could find.
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That's you.
‐ Oh. All right,
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I guess that's all right then.
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But from now on, you know,
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ask me for permission before
you go cloning me, okay?
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I mean, let's not forget who
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the supervillain is here.
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‐ Ah, yes, of course,
Dr. Havoc.
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Once again, you are right.
You're the boss.
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I'm just lucky to be working
with you.
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Carl, why the hell are you
still standing here?
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Go do something productive.
‐ Ow!
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‐ All right, where were we?
Ah, yes.
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The battery for the nuclear
submarine.
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As you can see‐‐
‐ Hold on. Uh, I...
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does the battery have to be
this big?
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It looks kinda bulky.
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‐ Well, yes, Dr. Havoc.
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It's a very powerful
sonar system.
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‐ No, I know.
I mean, I get it,
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it's just... [sighs]
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just kinda wish it was a little
bit more compact.
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‐ Uh‐huh, uh‐huh.
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That's a good point.
Carl!
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‐ [panting]
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Yes, sir?
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‐ Dr. Havoc feels the battery
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is too large and bulky.
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‐ But sir, this is the smallest
we can
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make the battery in order
to fully power the device.
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‐ Well, apparently that's not
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good enough for Dr. Havoc,
Carl.
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Of course, it is an ingenious
design
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and it's perfectly suited
for the machine it will power,
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but, uh, we neglected
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to take into account
the bulkiness.
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Ingenious design and months
of hard work
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don't matter because
it's bulky.
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And what we care about in this
laboratory is whether
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or not there is an excess
of bulk.
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You [bleep] idiot.
‐ Ow!
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‐ Actually, you know what?
Uh, I think
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the battery size is gonna be
just fine.
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‐ Oh, stupendous.
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‐ Yeah, I mean, besides,
this project's
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already a month behind schedule.
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The last thing we want to do
is add more delays.
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‐ [laughs] Of course not.
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Did you hear that, Carl?
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We are a month behind schedule.
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We are clearly not working
hard enough.
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‐ We're working day and night,
sir.
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‐ I know that, but that clearly
doesn't matter.
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Sure, the two of us built
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a stealth nuclear submarine
single‐handedly,
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but if it's 30 days late,
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who gives a fuck?
‐ Ah!
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‐ You are not going to get a
congratulations here, Carl.
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‐ Ah!
‐ No job well done!
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There's no thank you
from Doc
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for building me an underwater
death machine.
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‐ All right.
Hold on, hold on.
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Stop. Look, uh‐‐
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I'm beginning to see a bit
of a pattern developing here.
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‐ What do you mean, Dr. Havoc?
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‐ I think you're projecting
some of the issues
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you have with me onto Carl.
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‐ Nein, nein, nein, nein.
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Carl is just a stupid
piece of shit.
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‐ Yeah, I kinda feel like you
cloned me
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so that anytime
I piss you off,
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you have somebody to beat
the hell out of.
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‐ [laughing]
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Dr. Havoc, I think you're
mistaken.
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Tell him, Carl.
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‐ Actually, that does kinda
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connect a lot of dots for me.
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‐ Carl, I swear to God.
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‐ Yeah, okay.
I think Carl needs to go.
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‐ What's going on now?
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[soft acoustic music]
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♪ ♪
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‐ [whispering] Come on, you
fucking pussy, do it, do it.
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Do it, fucking pussy, come on.
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[sighs] God, this is harder
than I thought.
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You know, I fantasize about
killing myself every day,
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but, uh, I can't seem to pull
the trigger.
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‐ I got this.
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[gunshot]
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‐ How do you like that,
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you worthless piece
of [bleep]?
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‐ Okay, okay.
Feel better now, buddy?
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‐ Yeah. Actually, yeah.
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Whew! Whoo!
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‐ Okay, all right.
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‐ I think I got a lot of
really good stuff out there.
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‐ Yeah.
Okay, well‐‐
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[indistinct chatter]
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‐ And then, they
rip her arms off.
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‐ Oh, my God.
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‐ Yeah, I know.
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[both laughing]
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[gasps]
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Oh, my God, he's dead.
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‐ [gasps]
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We're free.
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‐ Finally.
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[both cheering]
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‐ Uh, excuse me.
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‐ Ah!
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Ghost!
Oh, my God, run.
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[both whimpering]
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‐ Hold on. Can we make a clone
of anybody?
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‐ Uh, yeah.
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[intriguing music]
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‐ Oh, my God.
I can't believe
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I'm actually gonna get to kill
Brock Mason.
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‐ Well, technically it's
a clone, so‐‐
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‐ Yeah. You know what?
Don't ruin this for me, okay?
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‐ Clone fabrication complete
in three, two‐‐
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clone fabrication complete.
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‐ Goodbye, Brock.
11742
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