Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[train rattling]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

‐ [grunts]

‐ Well, well, well,

what do we have‐‐ Jesus, oh, God.

Ah, fuck, this is really fucking dangerous.

You know what?

Let's take this downstairs into the train cars.

We'll do this down there.

‐ What's the matter, Havoc?

Afraid to fight me like a man?

‐ No, no, I'll fight you.

I just‐‐I wanna do it downstairs.

We're on top of a moving train,

it's just‐‐ it's really easy to die.

‐ I'm not going anywhere, Havoc.

We're doing this now, here.

‐ This is crazy.

‐ Actually, sir, according to the Henchman Handbook,

all train battles should take place

on top of the train so as not to disturb

the paying customers onboard.

Wha‐‐oh, shit.

‐ Don't worry, boss, I'll take care of him.

[screams] ‐ Holy shit.

‐ Oh, wow. He just‐‐he just popped like a water balloon

when he hit the side of that mountain.

‐ Okay. Can we please go downstairs?

‐ No. We're doing this right here, right now.

Oh, tunnel.

‐ [screaming]

‐ Stop screaming.

‐ No, I don't like this! I think this is dumb!

This is so dumb!

‐ Tunnel's over, game on.

All right, where were we?

‐ No. We're going downstairs, Brock.

‐ Oh, come on.

‐ No. I am putting my foot down.

[screams]

‐ All right. Yeah, that got me.

[vomits]

‐ What do you think now, Brock?

Huh? What do you think now?

His head just got taken off by a [bleep] pigeon.

Do you now believe me that it's too dangerous

to be up here having a goddamn battle?

‐ No way.

You're fighting me on top of this train.

Come on, man.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

‐ [whimpering]

‐ No, no, d‐don't‐‐don't.

[both grunting]

‐ Dr. Havoc, the bridge is out!

‐ All right. You know what, fuck this.

I give up, you win. ‐ Wait, what?

‐ Yeah, I'm calling it. This is ridiculous.

‐ All right.

Another master plan foiled

by Secret Agent Brock Mason.

‐ Yeah, yeah. Can we fucking get down from here now?

‐ Oh, yeah, definitely.

Let's get the [bleep] down from here.

[dramatic music]

‐ Well, Dr. Havoc,

it looks like that's the end of your evil career.

‐ Yep. You got me. Congrats.

‐ And this time, we're gonna make sure

you stay in jail,

you sick son of a bitch.

‐ All right. Well, I'll see you guys.

‐ See ya. ‐ Bye.

‐ Okay.

[grunting]

All right.

[grunting]

[straining]

[singing] Go, Havoc, go, go in our own way.

Escaping from jail like a mastermind,

master mind.

[humming]

[humming]

[whistling]

[humming]

Hey, honey, I'm home.

‐ How'd it go?

‐ Eh, got caught,

had to escape from prison again.

‐ Jesus Darren, that's like the third time this week.

‐ What can I say, Kim? If it was an easy job,

everyone would be evil.

So, what is for dinner?

‐ I already ate.

‐ Okay, great. Is Ally home?

‐ Oh, I don't know.

I haven't seen her in a few days.

‐ Huh. Okay, well, that's‐‐ that's troubling.

I'm just gonna go in the office and get some things done.

‐ Okay. I recorded some "Frasier."

‐ Oh. All right. Well, it's all online,

so you know, we could just do it that way.

‐ Well, you can't skip the commercials online.

‐ Yeah, no. There are no commercials.

It's just‐‐just online‐‐ it's just the whole episode.

‐ Why you fighting me on this?

I just want to watch "Frasier" with you.

‐ Why did we buy a Roku if we're not gonna use it?

‐ Oh, my God. This again?

Look, I'm recording all the "Frasiers."

We're watching them all.

‐ It's a waste.

There are shows that I need to watch

that are not yet streaming.

I'm not gonna wait a year

to find out what happens on "Homeland."

‐ No, I‐‐I can't anymore with

the "Homeland" and that stupid, fucking crying face.

Everyone's done with your crying face,

you bad‐faced whore.

‐ It's my industry, Kim.

I need to know what

people are doing in the evil world.

‐ Okay. You know what is your industry?

If there was a show called Little Baby Asshole.

Okay? That's what your industry would be.

‐ These kind of arguments are why I missed the finale

of "MythBusters," and I'm never gonna find it.