Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

‐ Darren, where are you going?

‐ Oh, I just had to go pick something up for work real fast.

‐ You promised Ally you'd take her car shopping today

if she passed her driver's test.

‐ Yeah, Dad. What the fuck?

‐ Uh, Ally, uh, I'm your father.

Don't use that kinda language.

‐ Well, Darren, she's clearly pissed off

because you're trying to fuck her over with this car deal.

‐ No, I am not fucking anyone over, okay?

Ally, I'm just gonna run a quick errand

and then I'll be back and we can go car shopping.

‐ You know, Darren, just once I wish

that you'd put your family ahead of your work.

This is why our daughter hates you.

‐ Kim, our daughter doesn't hate me.

‐ Uh, yeah, I do, Dad.

‐ No, you don't.

It's just this errand

isn't exactly the kinda thing that we‐‐

‐ Darren.

‐ Kim, this‐‐it's just not‐‐ ‐ Darren!

‐ I don't think you want our daughter‐‐

‐ Darren!

‐ Ally, get in the car.

‐ Thanks, Mom. ‐ It's no problem, sweetie,

I really enjoyed it.

[light music]

♪ ♪

‐ Oh, what do you think about a Porsche?

‐ I think it's about $20,000

more than the car we're going to get you.

‐ I fucking hate you.

‐ Ally. ‐ What?

I thought you're supposed to be

this big international supervillain.

‐ Well, I'm on my way to becoming

a big international supervillain,

but right now I'm more of, like, a mid‐level supervillain.

So we're gonna have to get you a mid‐level car.

‐ Becky Hammond's mom is getting her a Tesla.

‐ Well, Becky Hammond's mom is spoiling her daughter

and is probably a terrible parent.

Now stay in the car and lock the doors.

I'm gonna go buy some guns from these German guys.

Do not touch my radio presets.

‐ Okay. Whatever.

‐ All right, Base,

it looks like the weapons are in play.

Waiting for the target to arrive.

[door opens]

‐ Hello, Dr. Havoc.

‐ Hey, Greg. How's it hanging?

‐ Eh, long and hairy, hard to carry.

‐ Oh, man. I miss you, you sick son of a bitch.

So how's the illegal arms business?

‐ In America, it is fucking great.

I love a country whose solution to too many guns

is "we need more guns."

Ha ha ha!

‐ Yeah, we got problems.

[sighs]

So what are we looking at here?

‐ Oh, man, where to start?

Well, we got some semi‐automatics.

We got some full automatics. We got some double automatics

fresh out the oven, my friend.

Have you seen these guys go off? Oh, man.

It's like a milkshake, but in your anus and made of lead.

It's the best. I threw a couple of grenades in there,

I know you like those.

‐ You know me well, my friend.

‐ Psst, Dad? Psst, Dad!

‐ What the‐‐ ‐ Who's here?

‐ Come out or we shoot. ‐ No. No, don't shoot.

Don't shoot. She's with me.

why are you interrupting my weapons deal?

‐ I need the Wi‐Fi password.

‐ There is no Wi‐Fi. We're in an abandoned warehouse.

‐ Oh yeah, then who the fuck's Linksys 14?

‐ I'm Linksys 14. Who are you?

We told you to come alone.

You're trying to fuck us here, Havoc?

‐ Uh, no. Th‐this is, um...

this‐‐this is my new weapons expert.

She's, uh, here to check the merchandise.

‐ What? You don't trust me now?

‐ No, it's, uh, uh, I totally trust you. It's‐‐it's‐‐

‐ I don't know if you're seeing this, Base,

but it looks like a Dr. Havoc

is going to be paying with some sort of...

underage prostitute.

‐ All right then, expert. Check them out.

‐ Uh, yeah. Just go ahead and check the guns.

‐ Uh, I don't know how to.

‐ Just check the guns.

‐ Hmm, okay. Oh, that's a‐‐ that's a gun,

and, uh, there a‐‐ that's a gun.

Uh, hmm, this‐‐ Mm, very cold.

Huh? Okay. Well, there's, um...

Okay. Looks good.

‐ That's it? You‐‐you

don't want to check the chambers?

Make sure the grenades are‐‐

‐ No, she's really good, actually.

She's‐‐she's the best.

So, uh, here's your money.

‐ Aah! ‐ [speaking German]

‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait. Hold on.

‐ She just killed my man.

‐ No, I know. She‐‐but she had a good reason.

Your man was, uh, working for the government.

‐ What? Which government?

‐ Uh...ours.

‐ Huh?

‐ Uh, yeah.

And it's a good thing that she got the drop on him.

Let me just take that from you real quick,

because he could have killed us all.

‐ Son of a bitch!

This bastard was my cousin.

‐ Oh, really?

‐ Well, really more like my brother.

You see, as a child,

my parents were electrocuted in a lake,

and so his mom adopted me.

And so we became very close.

We were like bros but also brothers.

We were bro brothers.

‐ Okay. Well‐‐ ‐ And we spent

so many times together, the swing set.

Oh, my God, the swing set, Havoc, such a good time.

‐ It's‐‐it's‐‐yeah, it's too bad.

‐ I was going to be the godfather of his children.

‐ Yeah. It's, uh,

it's real sad that he ended up being

a real fucker, I guess.

‐ Time to break up an arms deal. Here we go.

[suspenseful music]

‐ Oh, shit! It's the government.

‐ Really? ‐ Die, you bastards, die.

Ha ha ha ha!

Get some of this. Oh!

‐ And...snipe.

‐ I'll see you in hell.

‐ Dad, did I just kill a guy?

‐ Yes, you did, honey. But right now,

we need to run.

‐ Ah ha ha. Hello, Havoc.

‐ Urgh, of course.

+‐ Well, well, looks like daddy found a chicken.

‐ What? ‐ You've stooped

to a new low, Havoc.

Taking a young, beautiful girl hostage.

‐ Oh, my God. Who is this?

‐ Hi. I'm Secret Agent Brock Mason.

And don't you worry, gorgeous,

you're safe now. You're safe with me.

‐ Hee hee hee! Okay.

‐ [chuckling] ‐ Brock, this isn't a hostage.

She's my daughter.

‐ Ha ha ha ha! Yeah, right.

Right, Havoc.

You're telling me you dress your daughter up

like a hooker every day.

Hand her the weapon and step away.

Step all the way away

from the clearly cheap prostitute.

‐ Brock? ‐ Yeah, step away.

Thanks for saving me, Mr. Mason.

Who knows what this piece of shit

was planning to do with me?

‐ You sick son of a bitch. ‐ Ally!

Okay!

If you tell the truth, you can get the Porsche.

‐ Really? ‐ Yes.

‐ Okay. Yeah, I'm his daughter.

‐ Wait, what? Really?

Oh, his 18‐year‐old daughter,

though, right? I mean, right?

‐ Well, almost 18,

but‐‐ [gunshot]

‐ Aah! Ow!

‐ Oh, my God. This thing still has bullets in it?

‐ Yeah, it still has a lot of bullets in it.

It's a loaded gun. Give‐‐give me that.

I mean, seriously, Havoc,

who the fuck brings their daughter

to an arms deal anyway? I mean, who does that?

‐ Well, she was supposed to wait in the car,

for‐‐for the record.

‐ Oh, my God.

I shot two people today.

‐ Yes, you did, sweetheart. But you know what's gonna

make that feel a lot better?

Your brand new Porsche.

‐ Ew, Dad, this is the arms dealer's car.

‐ Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's not gonna need it

because of the bullet in his chest.

So, uh...but look, it's black,

just like you wanted.

‐ Uh, yeah. Okay.

‐ So you get the car you wanted

and we won't tell your mother

about this little triple homicide we took part in.

‐ Thanks, Daddy.