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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,420 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,660 [BLAIR] Previously on Black Monday... 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,280 - Oh! - [DAWN] How are you gonna get Blair 4 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,920 to just give us his Georgina shares once he's married? 5 00:00:10,940 --> 00:00:14,279 I'm gonna form a father-son reverse Diff'rent Strokes. 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,019 What's up, queef? 7 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:18,210 Keith is a... homo? 8 00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:20,009 All I want is a piece of what we built. 9 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,051 If we're not gonna do this deal, I got to go. 10 00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,340 I am not a people person. 11 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,440 Do you know who's really good? My partner, Dawn. 12 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,740 Why else do you think she's got 15% of my company? 13 00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:31,380 - _ - [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 14 00:00:31,467 --> 00:00:35,092 - _ - ♪ ♪ 15 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,630 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 16 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,939 [LO-FI MELODY PLAYS] 17 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,466 Pull! 18 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:43,800 [WAYNE] Hurry! Use both nostrils! 19 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,260 [KEITH] They're quacking at you, man! 20 00:00:45,340 --> 00:00:47,270 - Yeah! - Die, quackers! 21 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,176 [YASSIR] God, these graphics are so realistic. 22 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,967 - [KEITH] Perfect score. - I have to kill ducks 23 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,717 - after work. - [LAUGHS] 24 00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:54,720 My kid is gonna plotz. His bar mitzvah's tomorrow. 25 00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:56,250 This thing is impossible to get. 26 00:00:56,342 --> 00:00:57,540 The line's bigger than the tits 27 00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:58,840 on the 'tute I paid to wait in it. 28 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:00,820 Hey, speaking of fathers and sons and shit, 29 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,140 I need a little advice, Keithy. 30 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,380 That's what best friends are for. 31 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:04,700 [MO] Ugh. Look, given that 32 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,176 I'm the Muhammad Ali of pulling out, 33 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:07,800 I don't have any sons of my own. 34 00:01:07,884 --> 00:01:09,600 To clarify, I'm as good at pulling out 35 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:10,980 as Muhammad Ali is at boxing. 36 00:01:10,990 --> 00:01:12,467 He is terrible at pulling out. 37 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,100 He's got, like, nine kids, five moms. 38 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,200 More like Ali-mony. 39 00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:17,550 - Ugh. - Ugh, ugh. 40 00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:20,140 Look, I want to form a father-son relationship 41 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,720 with Blair, you know, so I can get close enough 42 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:23,260 to him to stab him in the back. 43 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,300 Oh, buy his love. Like that Nintendo. 44 00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:26,979 I mean, right? That bad boy's gonna make 45 00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:28,240 my kid forget all about the time 46 00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:29,717 he walked in on me trying to hang myself. 47 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,051 - What the hell? - Why can't you just 48 00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:32,400 jerk off like a regular guy? 49 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,740 It's called asphyx-turbation, all right? 50 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,840 You know, you choke your chicken while you choke yourself. 51 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,200 I learned it from my friend in that band, uh, INXS. 52 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:41,050 - [KEITH] It's amazing. - [WAYNE] Buying love works. 53 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,842 You know, I forgot my kid's birthday. 54 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,160 I went and I got him one 55 00:01:44,180 --> 00:01:46,160 of the actual Darth Vader masks from the movie. 56 00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:47,360 Oh, uh, Return of the Jedi? 57 00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:49,508 No, I couldn't afford that, so I got the o-one 58 00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,425 from the rape scene in Revenge of the Nerds. 59 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:54,050 But bonding isn't just about buying them expensive shit. 60 00:01:54,092 --> 00:01:56,050 It's about taking them to expensive shit, too. 61 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,400 Blair was born in a cornfield. 62 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:00,720 Everything impresses him, right? So just take him out 63 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:03,440 to a VIP NYC night he'll never remember. 64 00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:05,180 - [KEITH] That's the ticket. - So parenting is 65 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,180 just like dating, but with no sex. 66 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,220 - [MEN CHUCKLE] - And that's great, 67 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,900 'cause I'm the Michael Jackson of dating. 68 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,800 To clarify, I'm as good at dating 69 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:14,540 as Michael Jackson is at dating kids. 70 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,675 Brooke Shields. 71 00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:17,850 Jesus. It's 11:30. 72 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:19,800 Can we please start the goddamn morning meeting? 73 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,280 Hey, who wants to go double or nothing? 74 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:22,299 - [LAUGHTER] - [LO-FI MELODY PLAYS] 75 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,180 - [YASSIR] Yes! - 20 Gs you don't get one duck. 76 00:02:25,176 --> 00:02:27,280 All right, while you coke piñatas 77 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,760 have been comparing nosebleeds, 78 00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:31,350 I secured a large chunk of public Georgina shares, 79 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:33,880 which means if Mo can get Blair's family shares... 80 00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:35,842 "When Mo gets Blair's family shares." 81 00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,884 ... we're on our way to the 51% we need, 82 00:02:37,967 --> 00:02:39,508 but there's a twist. 83 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,592 - Thank God. I was so bored. - [LAUGHTER] 84 00:02:41,675 --> 00:02:44,258 [DAWN] The quarter ends in 48 hours. 85 00:02:44,270 --> 00:02:45,467 If we file with this much on our books, 86 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:46,820 everyone will know the shot. 87 00:02:46,850 --> 00:02:49,467 Our shell companies are full, so that means 88 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,440 we need some people to hide the shares for us 89 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,540 until the takeover. 90 00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:53,960 What about our overseas shells? 91 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:55,884 We sold our overseas shells. 92 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:56,960 By the seashore? 93 00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:58,400 - [KEITH] Oh! - [LAUGHTER] 94 00:02:58,420 --> 00:02:59,842 [DAWN] Come on, fellas. 95 00:02:59,926 --> 00:03:01,300 This is a tightrope. 96 00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,092 We need people who won't fuck us over 97 00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,500 when we need the shares back 98 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,160 but who we don't mind fucking over 99 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,675 by implicating in a felony, all right? 100 00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:10,842 Basically, our dearest family and friends. 101 00:03:10,926 --> 00:03:12,508 - Everyone I love is dead. - I'm not even a citizen. 102 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:14,160 - I think, so... - [DAWN] All right. 103 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,460 Wayne and Yass are out. Mo has no one in his life. 104 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,299 I can park a chunk, but that leaves two more. 105 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:19,717 - I can park one with Shira. - [DAWN] Good idea. 106 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,020 Wait, wait, hold it. Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. 107 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,884 It's ridiculous. People love me. 108 00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:25,620 Uh, is that why you were just brainstorming 109 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,920 about how to make people love you? 110 00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:28,425 - [LAUGHTER] - Oh! 111 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,759 - She got you. - Thank you. 112 00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:30,789 [MO] Whatever. 113 00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,508 Fine, take the last one. 114 00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:34,559 And look, if you want to connect with Blair, 115 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,880 just talk to his ass, okay? 116 00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:38,500 Open up. Find some common ground. It's not that hard. 117 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,860 Nah, I'm just gonna go 118 00:03:39,890 --> 00:03:41,342 with the throw-a-Nintendo-at-it plan. 119 00:03:41,425 --> 00:03:43,134 That's what I'm talking about. 120 00:03:43,210 --> 00:03:44,900 Hold on, wait. You mean tha-that Nintendo? 121 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,220 Oh, yeah, yeah. Blair is a fucking nerd. 122 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,800 He is gonna love this chilling vision of our Jap future. 123 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,140 Great jam sesh, guys. 124 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,660 - It was actually a meeting. - [MO] Okay. 125 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,380 - As you were. - All right, it's cool, yeah. 126 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,140 I-I can get another one by tomorrow. It's fine. 127 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,860 [WAYNE] Oh, "Duck Hunt." 128 00:03:57,884 --> 00:04:00,759 I thought it was "Duh, Cunt." 129 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,760 This makes a lot more sense. 130 00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,460 - [HAIRSPRAY CAN HISSING] - [TIFF] Oh, my God. 131 00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:05,600 I bet he's gonna promote you. 132 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,926 You are finally getting off the floor. 133 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,300 About frickin' time. 134 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,440 Babe, we don't know what this is gonna be tonight. 135 00:04:11,470 --> 00:04:13,051 Uh, the guy's unhinged. 136 00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:14,960 I walked in on him the other day masturbating 137 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,019 to Hockey's Hardest Hits Volume Three. 138 00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:19,210 - He jerks off in the office? - They all do. 139 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,592 Well, okay, whatever. 140 00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,508 How about you make it your promotion? 141 00:04:23,592 --> 00:04:25,220 You've literally been there for weeks. 142 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,860 Babe, you don't really make Mo do stuff. 143 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,620 He more sort of does stuff to you, 144 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,740 like my gymnastics team doctor. 145 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,770 You were supposed to start as a VP at one of the big three. 146 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,000 Instead, you're stuck as a runner, 147 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,280 and we're stuck living in this trash compactor 148 00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:39,920 that doesn't even have a trash compactor. 149 00:04:40,009 --> 00:04:41,840 Am I supposed to compact my own trash 150 00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:43,340 like some kind of piece of trash? 151 00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:44,780 It's not such a crazy ask. 152 00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:47,800 Just let my parents buy us one trash compactor. 153 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,560 How many were you wanting? 154 00:04:49,717 --> 00:04:52,350 Tiff, I told you I am very uncomfortable 155 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,250 with your parents paying for anything. 156 00:04:54,342 --> 00:04:56,009 - Ugh! - My time on the floor 157 00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:58,700 has made my algorithm 2.0 so much better. 158 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,967 It better be better. You're working on it every night, 159 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,520 and we barely see each other. 160 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:06,560 And I am not even bringing up the no-sex stuff, 161 00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,300 which I shouldn't even be the one not bringing up. 162 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,340 You should be. 163 00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:10,880 Not bringing it up? 164 00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:15,140 You know what? You're right. You're right. 165 00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:17,880 - Huh? - I should be more like you. 166 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,220 - Wealthy? - Bitchy. 167 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,590 I'm gonna go get that promotion. 168 00:05:23,675 --> 00:05:24,890 - Yes. - Tonight. 169 00:05:24,926 --> 00:05:26,675 - Tonight. Go. - Yes. 170 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,220 - One more? - No, no. 171 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,320 No more. 172 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:32,420 Just... okay, um, well, I love you. 173 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,634 [UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 174 00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:37,258 [BLAIR] The city that never sleeps. 175 00:05:37,342 --> 00:05:38,550 - [CHUCKLES] - [CAN HISSING] 176 00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:40,759 I'm really excited we get to hang out. 177 00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:43,500 I've been making great progress on my algorithm 2.0. 178 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,250 [COUGHING] Shut the fuck up real quick, Blair. 179 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,879 [LAUGHS] This night isn't about work, son. 180 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,920 It's about fun, son. [CHUCKLES] 181 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,675 You ever made eye contact with the Statue of Liberty? 182 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,400 - No. - Oh, baby. 183 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,160 This is gonna be great. 184 00:05:57,217 --> 00:06:00,425 ♪ ♪ 185 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,380 [KEITH] Bad news, Shira. 186 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,630 I'm gonna be a little late for dinner. 187 00:06:03,675 --> 00:06:05,508 This deal I'm working on is so hard. 188 00:06:05,592 --> 00:06:07,592 Aw, don't worry about it, monkey. 189 00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:10,560 We already ate... four hours ago. 190 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,300 I was actually just sleeping 191 00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:14,820 because we have a very big day tomorrow. 192 00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:15,930 You're not gonna have to work 193 00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:18,051 all through our son's bar mitzvah, are you? 194 00:06:18,134 --> 00:06:20,634 No, no... I mean, but, you know, in work's defense, 195 00:06:20,635 --> 00:06:23,508 it is paying for this blessed celebration 196 00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,660 at the Plaza, you know, with Mr. Met prancing around, 197 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,092 and Doc Gooden doesn't do an aliyah for free. [LAUGHS] 198 00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:31,400 No, you got to pay him... in drugs. 199 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:33,460 You know, and drugs cost money, so... 200 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:37,134 Okay, well, I look forward to seeing you extremely soon 201 00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:40,300 and all day long tomorrow. 202 00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:42,190 You and me holding hands, 203 00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,342 watching our boy become a bar mitzvah. 204 00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:46,280 - I love you. - Love you very much. 205 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,710 - Bye-bye. - Love you. 206 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,280 [SIGHS] That should buy us a little while. 207 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,800 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 208 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,660 To the star in Starlight Express. 209 00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,080 Mm, if I was the star, 210 00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,660 I wouldn't have to work three other jobs. 211 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,300 - Mm. - No, I'm just another 212 00:06:59,383 --> 00:07:01,467 pair of skates in the chorus. 213 00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:04,176 And with the helmet on, you can barely even tell it's me. 214 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,380 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, 215 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,739 because I would know these legs anywhere. 216 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:08,750 - [SNORTS] - Look at them. 217 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,217 - These guys? These guys? - Oh! So beautiful. 218 00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,640 - Mmm. - [LAUGHS] 219 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,740 Are you okay? You seem distracted. 220 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,258 No, it's fine. I... 221 00:07:18,340 --> 00:07:19,640 I just got to get Shira 222 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,740 to park a shitload of stock by tomorrow, 223 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,651 and she's already up my ass with a pair of cleats. 224 00:07:24,051 --> 00:07:25,675 Is that stock thing something I can help with? 225 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,400 - No, don't worry about it. - No, I want to help. 226 00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:28,580 No, okay? 227 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,590 I-I mean, no. She is gonna take care of it. 228 00:07:33,675 --> 00:07:36,134 And now let me take care of you. 229 00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,300 - No. Keith. Keith. - Come here. What? 230 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,217 What? What? What? What? 231 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,940 [BOTH SIGH] 232 00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:43,670 You're not making it any easier to leave her. 233 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,899 - [SCOFFS] - You said you'd tell her about me. 234 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,040 And I did. You know, 235 00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,508 I said that this deal was hard and... 236 00:07:49,592 --> 00:07:51,300 - No. - It's not... it's not anymore. 237 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:54,092 Okay. You're upset. What do you want me to do? 238 00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:56,740 In your world, people look at you like it's expected, okay? 239 00:07:56,770 --> 00:07:59,660 And in... in my world, people look at me like I'm infected. 240 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:02,630 Clever. Well, I'm sick of being the other man. 241 00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:04,959 Well, you aren't the other man. 242 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,800 You are the only man, okay? 243 00:08:07,926 --> 00:08:09,890 - No, Keith. No. - All righ... come on. 244 00:08:09,926 --> 00:08:11,134 - Mike, come here, come here. - It's over. It's over. 245 00:08:11,217 --> 00:08:12,467 - We lost it. We lost it. - Come on. No. 246 00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:13,860 I'm going to shower. 247 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,717 I got Jane Krakowski and glitter all over me. 248 00:08:15,718 --> 00:08:17,040 Fuck. [SIGHS] 249 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,880 [SWANKY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 250 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,220 For Mom, we have Dubonnet with a twist. 251 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:25,630 And for Dad, Dewar's, splash of soda, two cubes. 252 00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:27,820 I hate when you call them Mom and Dad. 253 00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,759 - It feels incesty. - We should be so lucky. 254 00:08:30,842 --> 00:08:33,217 I mean to have Spence as a son, 255 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,640 not to have kids that have sex with each other. 256 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,500 No, no, I know, Dad. I know. 257 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:41,880 Dawny, Spencey, I got a surprise for you. 258 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:49,120 I present to you Nefertitty. 259 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,499 [DAWN] Wow. It's like her eyes are judging me wherever I go. 260 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,879 It's the only piece I had left from my show 261 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,940 at the Power Gallery. 262 00:08:55,980 --> 00:08:59,200 This new Afrotica series is really striking a chord. 263 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,280 The whole show sold out... first time in a decade. 264 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,675 Yeah. I was the model for the baby. 265 00:09:04,759 --> 00:09:06,300 - [LAUGHS] - Dad. [LAUGHS] 266 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,040 Everyone, I got a surprise for you, too. 267 00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:10,440 - [WALTER] I love surprises. - [LAUGHS] Okay, okay, okay. 268 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,009 - Okay, okay. - Um... 269 00:09:13,092 --> 00:09:15,717 well, I just wanted to tell you guys... 270 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,884 - That I am... - [ALL] Pregnant! 271 00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:19,540 - [RUTH] Oh! Oh! - [SPENCER] Yes! Oh, my God! 272 00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,340 Should you drink? Well, although, I did smoke 273 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,960 a ton of ganja with you... I guess it's okay. 274 00:09:23,051 --> 00:09:24,467 No. 275 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:27,467 I'm not pregnant. I'm partner. 276 00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:29,040 At my firm! 277 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,400 - That's my big news. - Oh. 278 00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:33,800 Congrats. That's really... 279 00:09:33,884 --> 00:09:36,520 We're not also pregnant by chance, are we? 280 00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:39,130 No, not pregnant. Promoted. 281 00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:41,467 And please don't be one of those guys that says "we." 282 00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:43,508 I just... I don't like it. 283 00:09:43,592 --> 00:09:45,258 Come on, Spence. Shit or get off the pot. 284 00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:46,884 - I'm trying. - What? 285 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,619 Wait, Dad, in your analogy, I'm a toilet? 286 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,040 No, no, I think what Dad is trying to say... 287 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,260 - That's what he said. - ... is that... 288 00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:56,360 it might be time for us to focus on more important things. 289 00:09:57,383 --> 00:09:59,820 What's important to me right now is the career 290 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,710 that I've worked tooth and nail for. 291 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,675 I mean, seriously, I-I've lost teeth 292 00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:05,330 and nails doing this job. 293 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,170 Which is the perfect opportunity for you to quit. 294 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,383 - Your career's gonna... - It'll be there... 295 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,009 - I make a very healthy living. - Your career will be waiting 296 00:10:11,092 --> 00:10:12,300 - after you have kids. - Would the men in this room 297 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,550 just shut the hell up? 298 00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:14,919 Until your body can give life, 299 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,150 then you don't get to say a damn thing about Dawn's. 300 00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:18,499 This is the '80s. 301 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,967 A woman can be whatever she wants. 302 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,100 I'm happy for you, baby girl. 303 00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:27,800 - [CLEARS THROAT] - Oh, yeah. 304 00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:30,159 - Thank you, Mom. - [RUTH] To you. 305 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,250 [WALTER] I'm proud of you, Dawny. 306 00:10:31,342 --> 00:10:32,400 Mm-mm. 307 00:10:34,570 --> 00:10:35,600 [MO] Get ready. 308 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,020 This is the hottest ticket in town. 309 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,840 And we got killer seats. [CRUNCHES] 310 00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:42,425 - Why is she crying? - [CRIES SOFTLY] 311 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:45,020 - Oh, she knows how it ends. - Oh. 312 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,480 What are we seeing? 313 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,980 - Death of a Salesman. - Oh. 314 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,820 Yeah. You remember when that door-to-door vacuum salesman... 315 00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:53,258 he crawl-space'd all those nurses? 316 00:10:56,258 --> 00:10:57,842 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 317 00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:59,217 - More like "thank God." - [CONTINUES CRYING] 318 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,800 Glass is here, or we get Shamu'd by all the fluids. 319 00:11:01,884 --> 00:11:04,300 - [BUZZER SOUNDS] - [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 320 00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:07,675 [INAUDIBLE GASP] 321 00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:09,134 [LOUD POP] 322 00:11:09,217 --> 00:11:10,230 Whoa. 323 00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:14,592 [DOOR CREAKING] 324 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,759 [EXHALES DEEPLY] 325 00:11:20,884 --> 00:11:25,425 [LAUGHING] Hey, Sheeshee. I'm so glad you waited up. 326 00:11:25,508 --> 00:11:28,592 Mm, I'm so glad you woke me up, Kiki. 327 00:11:28,675 --> 00:11:30,342 You're nervous about tomorrow, aren't you? [LAUGHS] 328 00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:31,660 - Mm. - It's gonna be a dream. 329 00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:32,960 - Mm. - I even picked 330 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:35,380 the shortest haftarah portion, okay? 331 00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,508 [GASPS] I have a great idea. 332 00:11:37,592 --> 00:11:40,342 Since you're up, why don't you... 333 00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:44,100 give me a little signature right here? 334 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,860 Right there. Yeah, look at that. 335 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,549 Oh, oh, careful, careful. I got my perm set today, Kiki. 336 00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:50,092 Oh, okay. It looks great. 337 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,759 Yeah, it looks really great. Okay... 338 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,100 What is this I'm signing? 339 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:57,320 Oh, looks like a document. I don't know. Boring. 340 00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:59,540 I think if you just sign it, we'll just be done with it. 341 00:12:00,342 --> 00:12:01,842 Yeah. 342 00:12:01,926 --> 00:12:03,926 Where's the Nintendo? 343 00:12:04,009 --> 00:12:06,950 [POPS LIPS] Uh, it's at the office. 344 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,080 Keeping it safe. 345 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,100 So, you know, if I just get a little, 346 00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:12,710 you know, "Shira" right here-a... 347 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,009 Or-a, why don't you go and get that Nintendo, 348 00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:19,300 bring it back, and then I'll sign this vague paperwork? 349 00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:21,350 I'm just... again, just thinking out loud... 350 00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:22,820 - Mm-hmm. - You sign it now. 351 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,926 I get the Nintendo tomorrow on the way to Beth El. 352 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,180 [SNAPS FINGERS] Two birds with one stone, yeah? 353 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,009 - Or... just spitballing here... - Okay. 354 00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,383 - ... no. - [SMACKS LIPS] 355 00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:33,140 Okay. All right. 356 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,940 Well, you seem like you have a really, uh, 357 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,420 - strong path on this one. - [BOTH CHUCKLE] 358 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,592 Uh, I will be right back. 359 00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,884 - All right. - And don't you wait up, okay? 360 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,460 Aww. I'm going shluffy. 361 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,380 I never even open a menu. 362 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,350 I just order the most expensive shit, you know? 363 00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:55,380 - It keeps it exciting. - Oh. 364 00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:00,967 [BLAIR] Oh. 365 00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:03,920 - Looks delicious. - Doesn't it? 366 00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:05,800 Mm-hmm. It's so fleshy. 367 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,060 [CHUCKLING] Yeah. 368 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,440 Dig in. 369 00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:10,060 Here we go. 370 00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:12,675 - This is so fresh. - It's the best part. 371 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,100 After you, friend. 372 00:13:15,759 --> 00:13:17,634 - Cheers. - Yeah. 373 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,717 [GAGS, SPITS] 374 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,467 - [GAGS] - Okay. 375 00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,020 - [SPITTING] - I'm sorry. I can't do this. 376 00:13:27,050 --> 00:13:30,634 I prefer my ground beef cooked and with cheese and on a bun. 377 00:13:30,717 --> 00:13:33,140 [GAGS] I'm from a town with one restaurant. 378 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,719 This world, it's very overwhelming to me. 379 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:35,780 No, I get it. 380 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,580 I'm not really into this rich shit either, kid. 381 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,173 I mean, I-I kind of grew up like you, you know? 382 00:13:40,174 --> 00:13:43,280 But instead of one restaurant, I had no parents. 383 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,080 Hey, what's your favorite burger joint in the city? 384 00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,920 Well, I've been wanting to try this dive by our place... 385 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:52,060 uh, uh, Berger's Burgers, 386 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,590 but Tiff's allergic to fast food, so... 387 00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:55,540 Hang on a minute. Berger's Burgers? 388 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:56,600 - Yeah. - In Alphabet City? 389 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,710 Yeah. 390 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,260 I practically grew up there. 391 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,040 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 392 00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,634 You want to go there, get out of here? 393 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,217 - Uh, yeah. - [BOTH LAUGH] 394 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,051 Uh, hey, come throw this shit in the trash. 395 00:14:09,134 --> 00:14:10,967 I just have to return my jacket. 396 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,134 No, they tried to poison us. Fucking keep the thing. 397 00:14:18,180 --> 00:14:19,360 - Hey! - [SIGHS] 398 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,520 Okay, ok... 399 00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:22,176 Come on. Let me in. Here. 400 00:14:22,258 --> 00:14:24,660 Look, look, Shira and I, we broke up. 401 00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:26,719 It's over, baby. It's donezo, okay? 402 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,850 I want to be Keith and Mike. 403 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:29,960 I want to share everything with you. 404 00:14:30,050 --> 00:14:31,600 A-a place in Chelsea, a portmanteau. 405 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,640 What do you want to call ourselves? 406 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,580 You want to call ourselves, uh, Meith or-or Kike? 407 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,000 - No, no. - No, no. Meith, Meith. 408 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,780 Look, I want to be with you, okay? 409 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,675 And I'm gonna tell her tomorrow after that bar mitzvah. 410 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:40,926 I'm gonna be like, "Baruch atah, 411 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,620 adiós, baby," okay? 412 00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:45,000 'Cause I love you. 413 00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:46,710 [LAUGHS TEARFULLY] 414 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,258 Come here, you. 415 00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:49,592 BOTH: Mmm! 416 00:14:49,675 --> 00:14:52,383 [LAUGHING] 417 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,000 - I'm shaking. - [LAUGHING] Yeah, you are. 418 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,842 Um, we need to celebrate. 419 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,000 Do you have, uh, champagne or something? 420 00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:58,660 - Yes, I'll get some. - All right, great, great. 421 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,600 I'll get some. [LAUGHING] Oh, God. 422 00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:05,060 - [DISHES CLATTER] - Okay... 423 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,959 - Uh, out of champagne... - Yeah, sounds great! 424 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,440 [DYNAMIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 425 00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:15,750 ♪ ♪ 426 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,660 Oh! Fuck! Fuck. 427 00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:22,219 - [KEITH PANTING] - Keith? Holy shit! 428 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,050 [KEITH] Whoa! I'm fine! I'm fine! [GRUNTS] 429 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:27,820 [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] I'm fine. 430 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,720 Why are you stealing my Nintendo? 431 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,200 It's my Nintendo, okay? I bought this for you. 432 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,300 And now I need it for my son, okay? So... 433 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:36,760 If I don't bring it to my son, Shira's gonna fucking kill me. 434 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,200 Don't you want to be happy? 435 00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:40,258 I am happy. I fucking love my family. 436 00:15:40,342 --> 00:15:41,967 What, do you want me to leave them for you? 437 00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:43,500 For... for... for sex? 438 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,425 Wow. Just sex? 439 00:15:47,508 --> 00:15:49,420 Okay. Have a good night. 440 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,880 - [KEITH] Okay. - Okay. 441 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,680 - [KEITH] Okay. - Okay! 442 00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:54,100 - Fuck you. - You know what? 443 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,200 Go blow on the cartridges, 444 00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:56,842 because that really works, Keith. 445 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,380 Yeah, I'll give you something to blow on. 446 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,634 - [DOOR SLAMS] - Oh, fuck! My arm. 447 00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:03,842 [JAUNTY SYNTH MUSIC] 448 00:16:03,926 --> 00:16:06,258 [LIMBO APPROACHING] 449 00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:09,383 Ah, there he is. [LAUGHING] Come here. 450 00:16:09,467 --> 00:16:11,092 Ah. Great to see you. 451 00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:12,634 H-how long's it been? 452 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,100 Weren... weren't you here the night 453 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,176 - that Dolly Parton was here? - Yeah, sure. 454 00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:18,420 - Yeah! What a crazy night, right? - Oh, what a night. 455 00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:21,090 Yeah, yeah. Missed this place. 456 00:16:21,176 --> 00:16:23,092 Can we get two classic Berger's Burgers, please? 457 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:24,200 Sure. 458 00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,220 Let's do this. 459 00:16:26,009 --> 00:16:27,950 Oh, sorry. No change for this. 460 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:30,240 Like I've ever wanted change. Get the fuck out of here. 461 00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:32,660 - [LAUGHTER] - Thanks, pal. Hey. 462 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,180 - [MO] Yeah, no problem. - Hey, come around. 463 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,640 - We miss you. - Yeah, good to see you. 464 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,180 You really met Dolly Parton? 465 00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:40,380 Was she with Linda Ronstadt or Emmylou Harris? 466 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,842 I-I'm a big trio fan. 467 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,180 She was rolling pretty deep. 468 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,300 - Ah. Wow. - Yeah. 469 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,859 I mean, of course I know Dolly Parton. 470 00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:47,420 Who do you think bought her those cans? 471 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,800 [LAUGHING] I'm joking. 472 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:50,960 - Oh. - God did. 473 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:53,300 Sometimes He does give with both hands. 474 00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:54,890 Actually, it's my second-favorite night 475 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:55,967 I've ever spent in here. 476 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,800 W-what was your first? 477 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:00,700 Uh... [EXHALES DEEPLY] 478 00:17:01,425 --> 00:17:04,380 Uh... I grew up in an orphanage not too far from here... 479 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,480 right around the corner, actually... 480 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,370 and the smell from this place would just go 481 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,750 all throughout the neighborhood. 482 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:12,092 And o... and one day, 1961, I ran in here. 483 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,880 I grabbed a burger right off the counter, 484 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,967 and I'm thinking, "Oh, man, I'm gonna finally taste this thing 485 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,780 I've been jacking it to all my life." 486 00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:20,717 But old man Berger, God rest his soul... 487 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,300 a lot faster than he looked. 488 00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:24,020 - Hmm. - Caught me. 489 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,500 He didn't, you know, 490 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,380 beat my ass or call the cops or anything. 491 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,960 He gave me a job. 492 00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:30,879 - What? - Yeah. And that night, 493 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,900 after my first hard day of work 494 00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:35,800 throwing out trash and mopping, sweeping, all of that, 495 00:17:35,926 --> 00:17:37,884 I cooked myself a burger back there. 496 00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,467 - [LAUGHING] And God damn it... - Best burger of your life? 497 00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:43,440 No, undercooked it. Nearly prolapsed my anus. 498 00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:46,009 But when I got out of the hospital the next night, 499 00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:48,320 I came back here, and Bergy cooked me a burger. 500 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,920 - And that motherfucking... - I'm sorry, you... 501 00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:52,880 you immediately came back and ate another burger? 502 00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:54,425 The point is, Blair, it was dope. 503 00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:55,820 Huh. 504 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,380 That's what Tiff doesn't get, 'cause she was born with money. 505 00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,720 Oh, yeah, the whole jeans thing. 506 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:02,439 Yeah, yeah, and she wants to use her parents' money 507 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,710 for everything. 508 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,400 - It's so annoying. [SIGHS] - Well... [SIGHS] 509 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,579 Don't throw the whole baby out 510 00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:08,940 - with the bathwater. Oh, look at this. - Here you go. 511 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,480 - Let's dig in. - Oh, thanks. 512 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,350 And so Reagan is cutting all of the funding for the arts. 513 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,460 Ugh. I wish he would've thought of that 514 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,639 - before his movies. - [LAUGHTER] 515 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,200 I didn't hate the one with the monkey. 516 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,959 [DAWN] You know, Mom, now that I'm a partner, 517 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:19,970 I could talk to the firm 518 00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:22,140 about maybe funding an endowment opportunity. 519 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,780 Speaking of opportunities, I actually have one for you guys. 520 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,090 Maybe make some easy money. 521 00:18:27,176 --> 00:18:29,176 Ooh, my favorite kind. 522 00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:32,759 Mine is the rupee. It's an Indian currency. 523 00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:36,508 It's a fun word, too... rupee. 524 00:18:36,592 --> 00:18:38,634 [ROLLING TONGUE] Rupee. 525 00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:41,220 Yeah, well, all you'd have to do is just hold some shares 526 00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:42,880 for us for a few months, 527 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,240 and then, you know, when we take them back, 528 00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:46,220 you'd get a nice payday. 529 00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:47,280 Easy-peasy. 530 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,179 Uh, no, thank you, baby. 531 00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,500 I don't know, Ruth. 532 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,919 Uh, things are kind of tight right now. 533 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,020 We don't need any charity, Walt. 534 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,634 You're about to make tenure, and as I mentioned, 535 00:18:56,710 --> 00:18:59,379 all my pieces from my Power Gallery show sold out. 536 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,330 Mom, this isn't charity. 537 00:19:01,342 --> 00:19:02,890 You'd actually be earning the money. 538 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,090 This helps me, and it's real money. 539 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:09,220 Real money is honest money, okay? 540 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,840 [DAWN] I don't get it. 541 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,799 You just said you were proud of me. 542 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:16,160 No, I said I was happy for you. Not proud. 543 00:19:17,134 --> 00:19:18,800 What happened to "this is the '80s, 544 00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:20,383 a woman can be whatever she wants"? 545 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,020 That's the point. You can. 546 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,000 So why would you choose to be a crook? 547 00:19:24,092 --> 00:19:25,550 "Hold shares." Come on. 548 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,840 I'm not dumb, and neither are you. 549 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,926 You are a brilliant, thoughtful woman. 550 00:19:31,009 --> 00:19:33,134 Make something besides just money for yourself. 551 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,700 - Yummy. - [RUTH] It's not your fault 552 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,258 that we put you in that private school 553 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,134 with all those rich white kids. 554 00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:40,300 But now you're a... you're a yuppie. 555 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,240 [SPENCER] Mmm. 556 00:19:42,759 --> 00:19:46,258 No, Mom, actually, I am a buppie. 557 00:19:46,342 --> 00:19:47,842 And you know what? I'm proud of it. 558 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,840 Because all of our hippie parents fuck... 559 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,675 Messed everything up. 560 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,979 Why do you think your neighborhood is so bad now? 561 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:57,740 Hmm? Money is the answer. 562 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,634 Not protesting or painting porn. 563 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:03,134 Dawn, don't bring your mother's porno into this. 564 00:20:03,217 --> 00:20:05,717 I think it's tasteful and arousing. 565 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,740 Baby, why don't you just calm down? 566 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,170 Don't tell me what to do. 567 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,260 And you're drunk, and you have surgery in the morning! 568 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,940 You know what? I can do what I want. 569 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,780 And if I want to be a barren robber baron, 570 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,460 then so be it. 571 00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:23,592 Most of the time, I just walk around that office 572 00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:25,240 feeling like one of the chickens 573 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,092 my dad used to make me cut the head off of. 574 00:20:27,176 --> 00:20:28,570 Oh, my God, how many dad stories 575 00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:29,600 are we gonna have to listen to? 576 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,620 - Oh, I'm sorry, I have a dad. - [BOTH LAUGH] 577 00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:34,590 - And you don't. - [BOTH LAUGHING] 578 00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:36,060 But seriously, how do you guys get it done? 579 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,320 I just don't feel like there's enough hours in the day. 580 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:39,439 Cocaine. 581 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,884 [LAUGHS] 582 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,820 [CHUCKLING] I'm dead serious. 583 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:48,500 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, watch and learn. 584 00:20:50,051 --> 00:20:52,717 [SNORTING] 585 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,120 [HOARSELY] Ta-da. [SNIFFS] 586 00:20:55,842 --> 00:20:57,967 - Should I try some? - I don't think so. 587 00:20:58,051 --> 00:20:59,425 [BOTH LAUGH] 588 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,690 No, you don't want to do this. 589 00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:02,040 You can't handle this. Forget it. 590 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:05,440 Uh, you don't know what I can handle. 591 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,051 Okay. 592 00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:11,800 [EASY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER] 593 00:21:11,884 --> 00:21:13,342 Okay. 594 00:21:13,425 --> 00:21:16,134 ♪ ♪ 595 00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:20,559 [SNORTING] 596 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,090 I feel more successful already. 597 00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:24,660 - [BOTH LAUGH] - You little coke whore. 598 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,650 - Scarface! - [BOTH LAUGH] 599 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:29,500 ♪ ♪ 600 00:21:29,590 --> 00:21:30,640 Okay, Bobby, boy. 601 00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:32,920 Say hello to Vanessa, the family... 602 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,250 - Thanks! - [CHIP CHUCKLES] 603 00:21:34,340 --> 00:21:35,639 And off we go. 604 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:36,758 - _ - [CHIP] Thank you. 605 00:21:36,759 --> 00:21:38,634 - [MO] After you. - [CHIP] Have a good day. 606 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,009 [MO] Yeah, you too. 607 00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:42,884 Who's Bobby? And who's Vanessa? 608 00:21:42,967 --> 00:21:44,467 Who cares? 609 00:21:44,550 --> 00:21:45,967 [TEARS FOR FEARS' "SHOUT"] 610 00:21:46,051 --> 00:21:47,258 [DARK ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 611 00:21:47,342 --> 00:21:48,550 [CHIP CHUCKLES] 612 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,050 ♪ Shout, shout ♪ 613 00:21:51,134 --> 00:21:53,508 ♪ Let it all out ♪ 614 00:21:53,590 --> 00:21:57,860 ♪ These are the things I can do without ♪ 615 00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,000 ♪ Come on ♪ 616 00:22:00,090 --> 00:22:02,880 ♪ I'm talking to you ♪ 617 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,420 ♪ Come on ♪ 618 00:22:04,508 --> 00:22:08,051 ♪ ♪ 619 00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:10,300 ♪ Shout, shout ♪ 620 00:22:10,383 --> 00:22:12,926 ♪ Let it all out ♪ 621 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,319 ♪ These are the things I can do without ♪ 622 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,940 ♪ Come on ♪ 623 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000 ♪ I'm talking to you ♪ 624 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,240 ♪ Come on ♪ 625 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,550 ♪ ♪ 626 00:22:26,630 --> 00:22:30,960 ♪ In violent times ♪ 627 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:36,250 ♪ You shouldn't have to sell your soul ♪ 628 00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:40,960 ♪ In black and white ♪ 629 00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:46,250 ♪ They really, really ought to know ♪ 630 00:22:46,342 --> 00:22:49,592 ♪ Those one-track minds ♪ 631 00:22:49,670 --> 00:22:50,880 ♪ ♪ 632 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:54,759 ♪ That took you for a working boy ♪ 633 00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:56,425 ♪ ♪ 634 00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:58,967 ♪ Kiss them good-bye ♪ 635 00:22:59,051 --> 00:23:00,717 - [SONG CONTINUES ON CAR RADIO] - [ENGINE RUMBLING] 636 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,717 ♪ You shouldn't have to jump for joy ♪ 637 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,217 - [MUSIC STOPS] - [BLAIR GROANS] 638 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:10,600 [BLAIR] Oh, God. 639 00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:12,060 - Oh. - [BOTTLES CLINK] 640 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,080 The moon is so much brighter when you're on cocaine. 641 00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:17,780 Yeah, that's the sun, Blair. 642 00:23:18,009 --> 00:23:20,508 [LAUGHS] 643 00:23:20,592 --> 00:23:22,508 Okay, well, I'm late for Jew church. 644 00:23:22,590 --> 00:23:23,800 Why don't you try to get some rest? 645 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,950 Thank you. Thank you. That was... that was a great... 646 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,100 that was a great night. 647 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,600 - Yeah, it was a great night. - Yeah, yeah. 648 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,050 - Okay. - Oh, um, uh... 649 00:23:31,134 --> 00:23:33,051 may... may I have a promotion, please? 650 00:23:33,130 --> 00:23:34,660 Um, uh, for the following reasons... 651 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,080 One, I'm a very hard worker. B, the algorithm, at this... 652 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,619 You know what? Yeah. 653 00:23:39,620 --> 00:23:41,760 Why not? I dub thee promoted. Fuck it. 654 00:23:41,860 --> 00:23:43,080 Yeah? 655 00:23:44,717 --> 00:23:46,383 - Thank you. Thank you. - Yeah. 656 00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:47,599 - Thank you. - Yeah. You have a good night. 657 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,140 - Yeah, you too, you too. - Oh, hey, wait a minute. 658 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:51,990 I forgot. I got to give this to you. 659 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:56,100 All right, take it easy. 660 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,320 ♪ Shout, let it all out ♪ 661 00:23:59,383 --> 00:24:02,675 [ENGINE RUMBLES, LIMBO DEPARTS] 662 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,739 Tiff, have you ever had sex with a guy 663 00:24:04,740 --> 00:24:06,800 with a huge promoti... 664 00:24:10,092 --> 00:24:11,550 What? 665 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,200 [DOOR OPENS] 666 00:24:14,340 --> 00:24:16,300 What the fuck did you do? 667 00:24:16,340 --> 00:24:19,380 Before you spaz out, check out... 668 00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:21,080 how cool this is. 669 00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:23,180 Ah! 670 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:25,200 - [COMPACTOR WHIRS] - We talked about this. 671 00:24:25,220 --> 00:24:26,850 You know how it makes me feel 672 00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:29,280 when you... y-y-you take things from your parents 673 00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:30,967 that I should be providing. 674 00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:32,379 - I asked you to not... - You know what? No. 675 00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:33,840 - I am so done. - Take my dick 676 00:24:33,926 --> 00:24:35,884 and put it in the trash compactor. 677 00:24:35,967 --> 00:24:37,467 - That's what you want to do... - Cannot hear you. 678 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:39,383 Just call your parents and have them come over. 679 00:24:39,460 --> 00:24:40,560 Make your dad come over. 680 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:42,640 He can take my dick and put it in the trash compactor. 681 00:24:42,660 --> 00:24:45,680 You know what? Stop being such a puss 'cause my dad has money. 682 00:24:45,740 --> 00:24:47,260 You know what? Fuck your dad. 683 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,379 I would rather fuck my father! 684 00:24:49,380 --> 00:24:51,300 - No shit! - My mom, too. 685 00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:53,160 She could finger me with more gusto! 686 00:24:53,180 --> 00:24:57,060 Great! All the fingers in the world aren't gonna satisfy you! 687 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:01,920 [BRAD READING HAFTARAH MELODICALLY] 688 00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:07,840 - [READING CONTINUES] - [CROWD GASPS] 689 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,800 - [KEITH SHOUTS] - [BRAD STOPS READING] 690 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,220 Way to go, Brad. Looking great. 691 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,250 - [BRAD CONTINUES] - Where you been, Kookoo? 692 00:25:14,342 --> 00:25:16,508 [QUIETLY] Just getting the Nintendo, Shushu... 693 00:25:16,592 --> 00:25:18,258 from the office. 694 00:25:18,342 --> 00:25:20,120 - Mm-hmm. - Maybe we can, you know, 695 00:25:20,140 --> 00:25:21,520 sign these papers? 696 00:25:22,217 --> 00:25:23,800 [WHISPERING] You listen to me, Keith. 697 00:25:23,884 --> 00:25:25,300 You're going to prison. 698 00:25:25,383 --> 00:25:27,884 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, 699 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,780 but someday, and probably for the rest of your life. 700 00:25:30,926 --> 00:25:32,842 And I'm not gonna allow you to take me 701 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:34,420 and our beautiful family down with you. 702 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,500 Eat shit! 703 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,860 Sorry. [CHUCKLES] Great job there. 704 00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:39,400 [LAUGHS] We're so proud of you. 705 00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:40,850 Mommy and Daddy love you so much. 706 00:25:40,860 --> 00:25:42,879 - Love you so much. So much. - So much. 707 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,670 [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 708 00:25:45,759 --> 00:25:47,634 ♪ ♪ 709 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:48,700 Dad. 710 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,260 Hey, look who it is. The big man. 711 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,090 Doc Gooden's been in the bathroom for, like, 45 minutes! 712 00:25:54,170 --> 00:25:55,800 - [SIGHS] - Is Mr. Met gonna make it? 713 00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:58,050 - I told everyone he'd be here. - Well, guess what. 714 00:25:58,130 --> 00:26:00,040 Tell your friends they got to be disappointed, okay? 715 00:26:00,070 --> 00:26:02,260 'Cause Mr. Met ain't coming. 716 00:26:02,330 --> 00:26:07,500 [DJ] Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mr. Met! 717 00:26:07,508 --> 00:26:10,342 [ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS] 718 00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:13,020 ♪ ♪ 719 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:14,670 He came. 720 00:26:14,759 --> 00:26:16,634 He came! [LAUGHS] 721 00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:18,340 I'd know those legs anywhere. 722 00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,200 [BRAD] That's a weird thing to say. 723 00:26:20,220 --> 00:26:22,342 Isn't his giant baseball head kind of his calling card? 724 00:26:22,425 --> 00:26:23,967 Yeah, shh, shh, shh. 725 00:26:24,051 --> 00:26:26,342 ♪ I only wanted someone... ♪ 726 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:29,040 Looking good, Mr. Met! Whoo! 727 00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:31,134 [KEITH] Hey. 728 00:26:31,217 --> 00:26:32,926 Hey! 729 00:26:33,009 --> 00:26:36,508 Uh... great job out there. 730 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,500 Thanks for coming. 731 00:26:42,170 --> 00:26:43,480 Look, want to know the real reason 732 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:46,508 why I didn't let you park those shares? 733 00:26:46,590 --> 00:26:48,800 Because if something goes bad, 734 00:26:49,634 --> 00:26:52,926 you are the only person in my life 735 00:26:53,009 --> 00:26:55,508 that I can't live without. 736 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,040 Can you maybe take off the head? 737 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,900 'Cause I cannot gauge how any of this is landing. 738 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:08,380 [SWEET MUSIC] 739 00:27:08,467 --> 00:27:10,134 ♪ ♪ 740 00:27:10,217 --> 00:27:12,009 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 741 00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:15,840 If Shira won't take those shares, I will. 742 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:17,320 No. Why? 743 00:27:17,350 --> 00:27:19,420 'Cause I would like to make enough money so I don't 744 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,260 have to prance around for a bunch of spoiled brats 745 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,080 in an off-brand Señor Met costume I got in Chinatown 746 00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,425 'cause you couldn't get the real one to show up. 747 00:27:26,508 --> 00:27:27,967 Come here, you. 748 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,176 Uh, blessed day. 749 00:27:30,258 --> 00:27:32,508 - [SNIFFLES] - Uh... 750 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:37,710 ♪ ♪ 751 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,342 All right, go and enjoy the party. 752 00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:45,258 ♪ ♪ 753 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,700 Oh! A board game. 754 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,020 Okay, that's gonna pay for college. Thank you. 755 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,850 Your cousins are a bunch of schnorrers. 756 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,320 Thank you. Thank you. Very sweet. 757 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,000 You guys get rid of your shares? 758 00:28:02,020 --> 00:28:04,520 Yep. Could not have been a simpler process. 759 00:28:04,540 --> 00:28:05,879 Totally remembered to do that. 760 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,460 Who'd you go with? 761 00:28:07,550 --> 00:28:10,258 [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 762 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:13,250 [UPBEAT SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 763 00:28:13,340 --> 00:28:15,740 ♪ ♪ 764 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,090 [BRAD] What's this? 765 00:28:17,176 --> 00:28:19,092 [GUESTS EXCLAIM] 766 00:28:19,176 --> 00:28:21,258 [LAUGHS] 767 00:28:21,340 --> 00:28:23,180 - That's my kid. - I know. 768 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,590 - Mazel titties. - [LAUGHS] 769 00:28:24,675 --> 00:28:27,592 - [BOTH MOUTHING WORDS] - [BLAIR] Excuse me. Hey. 770 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,051 Hey, Mo. Hey, guys. 771 00:28:29,070 --> 00:28:31,400 Um, so I came here to tell you two things. 772 00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:34,100 [SNORTS] One... and this might be the cocaine talking, 773 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,920 but can we get some more cocaine? 774 00:28:36,009 --> 00:28:37,800 - [LAUGHS] - And two... 775 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,220 [SNIFFS DEEPLY] ... I broke up with Tiff. 776 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:42,500 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 777 00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:44,280 I broke up with Tiff! 778 00:28:45,210 --> 00:28:47,360 Is this a child wedding? 779 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:51,519 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 780 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,350 [INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF "HAVA NAGILA"] 781 00:28:55,430 --> 00:29:00,800 ♪ ♪ 57391

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