subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Better.Things.S01E04.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-dbR

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:03,335 Women: all my best friends 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,671 say you are the worst thing 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,206 that happened to me 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,640 you're the worst. 5 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,743 All new wednesdays at 10:00 on fxx. 6 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,581 Announcer: Fx presents better things. 7 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,458 (knocking) 8 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:33,799 (Knocking) Huh? 9 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,167 What... 10 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,568 Hello. 11 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,804 Can-can I have those? 12 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,306 Uh... oh. 13 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,642 (Cans clatter) 14 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,077 Of course. 15 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,082 Yeah. 16 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,550 Wow. 17 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,720 Your car is messy. You got kids, 18 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,222 I can tell that. Sam: (Chuckles) Yeah, I sure do. 19 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,658 Why are you sleeping in your car? 20 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,660 Oh. 21 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,229 Uh, I'm tired all the time. 22 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,165 I call it momstein barr. 23 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,233 I try to power nap when I can. 24 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,769 Yeah, you got to take 'em here and there, right, mama? 25 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,438 Yeah. 26 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,373 Oh, I have to go to staples, remember? You promised. 27 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,008 I have to get, like, five things off my list. 28 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,843 Wait, mom, mom, you're passing the goodwill place! 29 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,545 Mom, pay attention! Stop! 30 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:22,381 Here. Take the jacket. 31 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,715 Oh. 32 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,751 And what size shoe do you wear? 33 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,586 Thank you. I-i wear a eight. 34 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,521 'Cause I... 35 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,123 I don't know whose this is, 36 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,392 but these are, like, a nine or a ten, maybe. 37 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,294 Oh, man, you are 38 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,563 such a nice lady. 39 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,431 You're pretty. 40 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,767 Thank you. You're pretty. 41 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,603 Oh, no. No. I used to be, 42 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,773 but you got to take care of yourself. You know, 43 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:51,143 get your car washed, get your hair done. 44 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,946 How do you think you're gonna to get a nice man 45 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,114 to make love to you? 46 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,882 Oh. No. 47 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,084 None of that for me. I got rid of him. 48 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,120 I'm not talking about a husband. 49 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:03,322 I'm talking about a man. 50 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,625 Don't you want a man to be nice to you? 51 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,160 Oh. 52 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,995 Yeah, well... 53 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:12,564 I told Paisley we could to a vintage photo shoot, 54 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,099 and I need wardrobe. 55 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,668 Shut up, maxie, shut up, maxie 56 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,237 shut your face! 57 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,073 Sam, your daughter is a monster. 58 00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:23,175 You can't just be a mama all the time. 59 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,978 You got to sometimes be a lady, 60 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,980 with the man putting his full weight on you, 61 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,681 making you feel good. 62 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,483 Yeah. 63 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,118 I appreciate that, Diane, 64 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,454 but there is zero time in the mom's schedule 65 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,989 for being a lady. 66 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,625 Oh, yeah, okay. I hear you with that. 67 00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,527 I raised four of my own. 68 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,428 So you know. 69 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,930 Oh, yeah. 70 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,766 I mean, you give 'em every second you got. 71 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,668 You take 'em to school, 72 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,270 you take 'em to their friend's house, 73 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,538 music lessons... 74 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,006 Dance class. Yeah, sports. 75 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,707 All those activities. 76 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,309 Endless. 77 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,677 I got my oldest... 78 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,846 He's a lawyer back in Minnesota. 79 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,447 Wow. Yeah. 80 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,216 One of 'em's married in Oregon. 81 00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,817 Two of 'em are working back east. 82 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,152 They got good lives. 83 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,521 And you gave that to them. 84 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,657 Just like you. 85 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,692 And now look at me. 86 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,795 They leave you with nothing. 87 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:20,232 You got to make time for you, mama. 88 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,000 They take everything, 89 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,969 and then you're like me, 90 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,971 hoping you find some nice lady 91 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,073 to give you a jacket. 92 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,911 Get out. 93 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,347 What? What are you doing, Samantha? 94 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,316 Get out. 95 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:40,185 No way, mom. Mom, you can't just leave us here. 96 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,354 There's a bus stop right there. 97 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,690 Get on the bus. Take it home. 98 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,525 Mom, don't be a drama queen. 99 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,393 That bus doesn't even go to our house. 100 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,895 No, it doesn't. 101 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,563 You're gonna take the bus to ventura, 102 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,498 get out, walk up the hill. 103 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:57,603 Bye! Bye! Get out! I mean it! Mom, 104 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,238 we're sorry. We don't need anything. 105 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,039 We'll help you with the groceries when we get home. 106 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,341 Please. 107 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:09,448 Mother, you had me 108 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,852 but I never had you 109 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,629 I, I wanted you 110 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,601 you didn't want me 111 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,540 shit, I don't know. 112 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,109 Damn it. 113 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,878 What'd the network say about Eliza again? 114 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,314 I don't know. She doesn't pop. Something like that. 115 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,950 Oh. I'm sick of all these ladies. 116 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,287 Jen, what did they say about Eliza? 117 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,789 Um, the note was "she's a bummer." 118 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,991 Yeah, she is a bummer. I hate that we've 119 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,726 circled back to talking about her. 120 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,328 The network already approved Manning truesome. 121 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,298 Let's just cast her. I'll kill myself first. 122 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,899 George. Yeah? 123 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,901 Is there anyone we haven't thought of? 124 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,304 All right, look. I have someone. 125 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,738 Who? She was in a pilot 126 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,473 I directed about ten years ago. 127 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,941 She was hilarious. 128 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,244 Network fired her because she had no tits. 129 00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:13,512 That's not good. 130 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,781 Who? 131 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,350 Man: Sam fox. I used to jerk off to her. 132 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,420 No way. 133 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,623 No way. She's, like, 60 now. 134 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,025 Possible side effects include nausea, 135 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,928 stiffness of joints, thoughts of suicide, 136 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,264 diarrhea, and, in rare cases, 137 00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,533 seizures or death. 138 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,336 Yeah, Sam, can you sound a little more 139 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,371 cheerful during the disclaimer? 140 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,707 Possible side effects include nausea, 141 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,876 stiffness of joints, thoughts of suicide, 142 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,145 diarrhea, and, in rare cases, 143 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,348 seizures or death. 144 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,083 (Laughing): I'm sorry. 145 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,020 I'm sorry. 146 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,222 I'm trying to sound cheerful about diarrhea. 147 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,490 I'm sorry. 148 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,158 (Clears throat) Diarrhea, sir. 149 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,660 Oh, diarrhea, everyone. 150 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,396 Is it thoughts of suicide 151 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,298 and diarrhea, 152 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,567 or is it thoughts of suicide 153 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,636 and also thoughts of diarrhea? 154 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,372 There's... (Laughing) 155 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:16,375 I know, buddy. I'm sorry. 156 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,844 What does this drug do, anyway? 157 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,245 It's a boner maker. 158 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,546 Oh. 159 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,249 Well, anything for a boner. 160 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,350 Yeah, okay. 161 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,319 I mean, although, 162 00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,187 if a guy has a nice hard dick 163 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,256 and he has diarrhea squirting out the back, 164 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,859 it sort of ruins it, you know what I mean? 165 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,394 Just sort of. 166 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,069 (Smoke alarm beeps) 167 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,272 (Sighs) 168 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,648 Okay, let's go. Is it you? 169 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,889 (Beep) 170 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,624 Shit. 171 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,597 Oh. 172 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,032 Come on. 173 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,101 (Beep) 174 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,636 (Gasp) 175 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,271 Bingo. 176 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,310 Seriously? 177 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,711 (Beep) Oh. 178 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:41,393 (Beeping) Oh! No, no, no, no, no, 179 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,495 no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 180 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,096 (Beeping continues) 181 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,599 Mama, what's happening? Honey, I'm sorry. 182 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,967 Mom, what did you do? 183 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,802 It's just the smoke detectors. 184 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,304 Oh, my god, mom! Mama, I'm scared! 185 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,439 It's okay. Mom, call dad right now! 186 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,842 No! What's going on? 187 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,176 Who are all those people in there?! 188 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,778 Mom, who cares? Are we gonna die right now? 189 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,080 You idiot! It's just a frigging smoke detector! 190 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,582 Shut up! (Sirens wailing in distance) 191 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,017 Everybody, stop! 192 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,119 I am so, so, so sorry. 193 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,188 Oh, my god, this is so embarrassing. 194 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,691 Shut up, Max! Mommy's doing her best! 195 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,292 Mom, call dad. The firemen 196 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,027 are gonna want to talk to dad. 197 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,263 I can talk to the firemen! 198 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,031 I don't need your fucking father! 199 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,601 I can talk to a fireman 200 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,170 by myself! 201 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,477 I mean, I can send you out for any audition that you want. 202 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,646 But you have to be careful about burning yourself out. 203 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,548 I think, personally, that it's better 204 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,184 to go out for just a few things every month. 205 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,852 You know, to seem more selective. 206 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,121 The interesting thing about you 207 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,690 is that you can play a good range age-wise. 208 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,126 Oh, definitely. I can play up to 25 209 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,328 and really down to 16. Mm-hmm. 210 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,830 Phone call. 211 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,698 I'm meeting. It's Jen Abrams. 212 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,636 Jen, hi. 213 00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,504 Hey, tressa, do you still represent Sam fox? 214 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,973 Uh... yeah. 215 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,642 So you don't. Did she fire you? 216 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,511 No, Jen, she didn't. I do represent her. 217 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,846 Can I help you? 218 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,482 I'm checking her avails for a pilot. 219 00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,050 Oh, for when? 220 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,853 It shoots in march. It's the lead. 221 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,322 The lead? Whose pilot is it? 222 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,757 Danny and Zack. 223 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,693 Okay. Well, I will give her a call. 224 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,894 Um, is this... 225 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,029 Danny and Zack love her. 226 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,497 Haven't checked the network yet. 227 00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,532 Ah. Got it. Thanks, Jen. 228 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,701 Yeah. 229 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,503 See, I like that one. 230 00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,004 Yeah, but sh... 231 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,239 It-it's subtle. 232 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,440 Like, you don't notice, 233 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,075 but you can totally tell. 234 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,577 It's shiny. That's... it's really good. 235 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,912 I want my face and neck 236 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,114 to stop being old-looking, that's all. 237 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,116 Yeah. That's scary. That's just scary. 238 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,685 She looks like an alien. 239 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,520 Hang on. It's my manager. 240 00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:49,621 Hi, honey. 241 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,222 Hi, tressa. 242 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:55,126 Hey, so, um, some people are checking your avails 243 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,928 for march for a pilot. 244 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,229 Okay. 245 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,298 Should I say you're around? 246 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,801 Yeah, I'm around. I mean, you know I'm around. 247 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,969 Sure. 248 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,704 Wait. What's the pilot? What's the part? 249 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,905 You know, just the usual 250 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,573 friend of the lead kind of thing. 251 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,942 Anyway, I will let them know that you're around. 252 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:11,977 Yeah. Bye, doll. 253 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,044 Bye, hon... 254 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,714 Hi, hello. Sam: Hi. 255 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,148 So nice to meet you. I'm John. 256 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,617 Hi. I'm Sam. 257 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,485 This is sunny, my friend. Sunny, hi. 258 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,054 Hi. Did you get a chance to look at the photos? 259 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,223 (Clears throat) Yeah, we did. 260 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:29,060 Um, I'm not saying that yours do at all, 261 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,429 but I notice that sometimes 262 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,998 people tend to look a little shiny 263 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,001 and a bit like a potato, kind of. 264 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,569 A wet potato. 265 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:38,937 Right. Well, not here, 266 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,939 because our technique is undetectable. 267 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,507 You will not leave 268 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,643 looking like a shiny potato face. 269 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,278 Wow. Okay. Well, we're here. 270 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,981 I mean, this is for me. She's perfect. 271 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,483 Ha, ha, ha, no, seriously, 272 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,951 what do you... What do you think? 273 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,919 How young are we now? 274 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,821 Um, I'm 38. 275 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,256 You look great. Thank you. 276 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,758 You both look great. 277 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,493 I wouldn't really do anything on you. 278 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,595 Seriously? Yeah. 279 00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:05,997 Wow. Okay, 280 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,700 why don't you climb up onto this chair? 281 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,769 Okay. (Clears throat) 282 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,406 Okay. 283 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,841 Awesome. 284 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,376 Okay, let's have a look. 285 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,679 Okay, so... (Clears throat) Uh-huh. 286 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:24,315 You see how kind of the left side of my face, it's melting? 287 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,317 Mm-hmm. Like, my right eye, 288 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,686 it's really heavy, 289 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,187 like I've been in a prize fight. 290 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,356 Yeah. And then my neck. 291 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,125 Jesus. I mean, what's happening to me? 292 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,227 Mm-hmm. Show him the picture. 293 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,295 Oh, yeah. Um... Yeah. 294 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:40,131 There's a picture of me. 295 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,499 So, that's like, um... 296 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,867 Ah. Yeah. Seven, eight. Maybe... 297 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,135 14. Maybe nine years ago. 298 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,370 Yeah, right. 299 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,339 See, here, you look fresh. 300 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,176 And now you look tired. Just tired. 301 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,078 Oh. That's all. No big deal. 302 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,913 We can remedy that. Okay. 303 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,815 Okay? Here, why don't you hold this? 304 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,083 Okay. Okay. Now, you see, 305 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,718 if we do a partial face lift... 306 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,486 Mm-hmm? It would raise all of this up. 307 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,021 Okay. And if we did the neck lift, 308 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,689 it would be very understated. 309 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,224 Okay, watch. Okay. Okay. 310 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,826 Watch this. See this? 311 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,195 Pretty. Oh. 312 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,563 Pretty. Mmm. 313 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,532 Huh? Pretty. 314 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,867 Pretty. He's right. It's kind of, 315 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,068 it's kind of amazing. Huh? 316 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,236 Uh-huh. Pretty. 317 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,237 Pretty. 318 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,505 What about, uh, 319 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:21,673 what about my neck thing? 320 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,374 Okay, watch. Ready? Okay. 321 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,876 Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. 322 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,044 Fresh. 323 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,378 Whoa. 324 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,713 Fresh. Wow, fresh. 325 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,182 Huh? Fresh. 326 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,351 Huh? So fresh. 327 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,687 You see that? Fresh. It's like... 328 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,889 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, yeah. 329 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,257 You look like you went to, like, 330 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,592 the Bahamas or something. 331 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,227 Yeah, wow. 332 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:45,063 Uh, how long is the down time? 333 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,065 Well, your face will be all bruises 334 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,400 for about three weeks. Oh, shit. 335 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,936 Oh, but I anticipate a very youthful result. 336 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,607 W-what would you tell the girls? 337 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,742 Well, I'll just tell them i got attacked. 338 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,644 That way, they won't be mad at me. 339 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,746 At least they'll be nice to be for a day, maybe. 340 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,748 (All chuckle) 341 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,884 So I have an opening on the 18th. 342 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:10,622 Wow. Well, how much are we talking here? 343 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,123 Okay. 344 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,660 For the neck lift, it would be 45,000. 345 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,562 And for the partial face lift, 346 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,664 it would run 50,000. 347 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,432 Oh, you know what? I-I'm just gonna... 348 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,169 Can I take the price list with me today? 349 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,971 'Cause I'm going to think about it. 350 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,108 I don't think I can go completely garbo right now. 351 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,576 Of course. 352 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,611 Sit, sit, sit. Everyone sit. 353 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,480 Terrific. 354 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:39,784 So we are very excited about your show. 355 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,319 So are we. 356 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,353 (Laughter) 357 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,421 Good. (Chuckles) 358 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,256 So what's up? 359 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,658 What can I help you with now? 360 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,161 So, uh, we know who we want for the lead. 361 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,697 Wow. Great. 362 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,699 Have we seen her? 363 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,034 All, right, so, Charles, I, 364 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,535 I know you want to see choices. 365 00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,370 I mean, we've all been through this before. 366 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,873 And I'd like to think we have some credibility here 367 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,375 with our other shows doing so well. 368 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,145 We absolutely love your shows. I hope you know that. 369 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,614 So who-who is it? Who are we talking about? 370 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,182 Jen: Sam fox. 371 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,853 Sam fox is funny, and that's our bottom line. 372 00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,621 You've got cute all over the network, 373 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,956 and there's cute in the show, 374 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,958 but Sam fox is, like, real people. 375 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,461 She will score with every demographic. 376 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,397 When we cast young, we leave everyone else out. 377 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,167 Sam fox has sex appeal, but the big move here 378 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,902 is that she's hysterically funny 379 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,403 and everyone likes her. 380 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,972 She's an everywoman. 381 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,407 Works for me. 382 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,842 Jen, great job. 383 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,377 She's not on the show yet. 384 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,979 What are you mad about? 385 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,680 Because I just burned about 30% of my credibility 386 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,148 with Charles kemp. 387 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,483 What, you didn't believe what you said in there? 388 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,986 Because you seemed to. That's my job. 389 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,054 You're a gender traitor. 390 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,023 You're putting down your own people. 391 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,491 My "people"? 392 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,560 You know, start a test deal with Sam fox. 393 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,062 Call the reps now, please. 394 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:03,201 Uh, Charles said that? 395 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,169 That's what he said. So we need to start a test deal. 396 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,038 Wow. 397 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,073 Yeah, well, send a deal memo to my office, 398 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,376 and we'll get started. 399 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,378 Okay, tressa, thanks. 400 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,013 Bye, Jen. 401 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,081 Should I get Sam on the phone? 402 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,182 No. 403 00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:21,085 And don't tell anyone about this. 404 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,453 You got that? 405 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,755 Okay. 406 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,397 Woman: We create... 407 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,431 Sam: Just let me... stop, mom... 408 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,933 Stop! Mom, shush. Pay attention. 409 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:37,402 I want to get your face in. 410 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:38,703 Stop! Fine! Jesus! 411 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,104 We're not misandrists, 412 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,573 but the patriarchy must be stopped. 413 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,642 (Crowd cheering in agreement) 414 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,744 Now, Martin Luther King, 415 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,079 he had one kind of a dream... 416 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,815 Martin Luther King beat his wife. 417 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,317 What? 418 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,585 Well, some people say that the FBI spread that story 419 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:55,954 to discredit him, but other people say 420 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,956 he cheated on his wife, and also people... 421 00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,291 Wait, who told you this? 422 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,726 Cary, mom. 423 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,661 My teacher? 424 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,230 Yes. Yes. Remember? 425 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,232 Mahatma Gandhi beat his wife, too. 426 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:11,102 Aah! I didn't know Gandhi was even married. 427 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,104 Why would Cary be telling you these things? 428 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,606 Like, is he trying to make you hate these people? 429 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,675 No. He's just telling us the whole truth about them, 430 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,944 or at least as it's known. 431 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,246 He's telling us what's been said. 432 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:25,483 I mean, yeah, maybe the FBI lied about king, 433 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,619 but to say that he's this perfect human statue 434 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,788 is-is a lie. 435 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,523 Hmm. 436 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,325 It-it's important, mom. 437 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,994 Plus, they're still my heroes 438 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,196 for the good that they did do. 439 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,531 But their personal lives were just kind of sketched out. 440 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,301 Anyway, woman is the nigger of the world. 441 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,802 Frankie, don't say that. 442 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,371 John Lennon said that. 443 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,306 I know, but don't you say it. 444 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,008 Do you know what he's saying with that song? 445 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,342 Also, it's a direct quote from 446 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,643 both: Zora neale hurston. 447 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,379 Mom, I know. 448 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,813 He wasn't being derogatory. 449 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,716 It was being, like, metaphorical. 450 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,284 Cary told us that. 451 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,886 Hmm. 452 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,688 Also, Gandhi was pen pals with Hitler. 453 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,356 Oh, my god. 454 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,692 This kid looks like Sam could be his mom. 455 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,060 Why if we give her a black son? 456 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,294 Like she adopted? 457 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,696 Or shtupped a black guy? 458 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,664 Shtupped. Yes, please. 459 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,866 (Intercom buzzes) 460 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,735 We're ready for him. 461 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,303 Man: I have Charles for you. 462 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:20,405 Hi, Charles. 463 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,640 Hi, Charles. Hey, Charles. 464 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,208 Guys, I have great news. 465 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,644 Yeah? Great, uh, let's hear it. 466 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:27,812 Rachel mcadams got a hold of your script. 467 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,213 She wants the lead. 468 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,349 She's amazing. She's funny, talented. 469 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,583 We love her. 470 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,752 So we just locked her down, and based on that, 471 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,287 we're ready to move on to series. 472 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,924 (Chuckles) 473 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,160 Uh, Charles, that-that's great. 474 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,861 Amazing, yeah. We love her. 475 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,430 Congratulations, guys. 476 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,397 I'm excited. 477 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,932 So are we. 478 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,000 Good, we'll talk soon. 479 00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:51,235 Ow, it's... Yeah, right. 480 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,938 Uh, all right, great. So let's, uh... 481 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,673 Let's look at this stuff and figure it out. 482 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,092 We're gathered here today because we know 483 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,460 that there is an atrocity... 484 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,195 You know, I read that mother Teresa 485 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:21,099 used to take private jets and go to fancy dinners. 486 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,468 Mom, that's not the same thing. 487 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,236 She was a catholic nun. 488 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,604 There's nothing complex about mother Teresa. 489 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,939 She sucked. 490 00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,041 I know, but Gandhi was so little. 491 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:31,809 How could he beat up anybody? 492 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,481 All right, guys, let's start the mob. 493 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,117 Just look to the lady in the pink t-shirt for the moves. 494 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,719 Frankie, take the rest of these t-shirts, hand them out. 495 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,121 Yeah, for yes, i can do it, yes. 496 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,622 (Chuckles) 497 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,290 She loves your class. 498 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,893 Well, Frankie is a rock star. 499 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,928 Yeah. Uh, listen, 500 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:54,232 I got to ask a favor of you, buddy. 501 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,100 Frankie's knowledge of the world is accelerating 502 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,469 because of your class, good and bad, 503 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,639 and that's great, but it's going really fast. 504 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,242 And I can't keep up. 505 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:07,078 I work. I rarely get a download from her, 506 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,680 and when I do, she's on a newer and bigger planet, 507 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:10,915 like today... 508 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,984 Come with us to stockton. 509 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,318 What? 510 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,920 Yeah, we're going on a class trip to stockton. 511 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:18,189 You would learn so much with Frankie, 512 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,957 so then you'll be totally up to speed. 513 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,626 Our song is next. When is it? 514 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,860 It's the first week of march. 515 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,962 She should totally come with us. 516 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,831 Oh, stockton? Mom's always got to work. 517 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,266 She won't make it, Cary. 518 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,034 Cary: Well, that's good, Frankie. 519 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:30,835 Your mom's an earner. 520 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,103 I know. 521 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,640 Shall we mob it up, madame? 522 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,109 (Crowd cheering) 523 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,482 Hi, Sam. 524 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,851 Tressa, hi. Listen. 525 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,687 Is that pilot still happening? 526 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,455 That pilot in march? 527 00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,658 No, it went away. 528 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,459 Oh, good! 529 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,728 Thanks, honey! Love you! 530 00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,798 Love you. Have fun. 531 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,001 Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo 532 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,370 ooh-ooh- hoo-hoo... 533 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,905 I'm gonna do it. 534 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,174 Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! 535 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:12,009 Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo 536 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,678 ooh-ooh- hoo-hoo 537 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,479 shake off the demons 538 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,715 ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo that you know 539 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,383 and you will see ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo 540 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:23,187 ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo 5,000 years before I grow 541 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,423 and I'm a lost cause ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo 542 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,825 ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo as far as causes go 543 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,694 ooh-ooh- hoo-hoo 544 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,262 open my heart, i need to show 545 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,731 ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo 546 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,866 ooh-ooh- hoo-hoo 547 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:39,270 I don't know if I'd get there without you, dear 548 00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:44,408 been on my own for so long 549 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,511 and I feel so alone here 550 00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:50,214 are you my savior? 551 00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:52,116 And I've been looking down 552 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,519 it's so hard to see 553 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,289 no, we don't belong here 554 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,225 under this shadow 555 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,861 give me some salvation 556 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,830 help me believe 557 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,367 shake off the demons... 558 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,503 (record needle skipping) 559 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:35,993 Announcer: Better things. 560 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,663 All new Thursdays at 10:00 on fx. 561 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:44,502 (Radio: Man vocalizing) (Birds chirping) 562 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,637 (Chattering) 563 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:59,083 Women: friends say you are the worst thing 564 00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:00,951 that happened to me 565 00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,654 announcer: You're the worst. All new wednesdays at 10:00. 566 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,389 Only on fxx. 567 00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:10,828 Announcer: American horror story roanoke. 568 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,964 All new, wednesdays at 10:00. 569 00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,700 Only on fx. 570 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,337 - (Snarls) - Ephraim: It's been 23 days 571 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:21,172 since the nightmare began. 572 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,041 Why do we fight? 573 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:28,679 - Revenge. - (Woman screaming) 574 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,450 Announcer: The strain, all new Sundays at 10:00 on fx. 575 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,959 (Crunching) (Horn honks) 576 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,962 (Sighs) Oh, my god. 577 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:48,799 Announcer: Baskets returns. January on fx. 578 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:51,802 (Ping-pong ball bouncing) (Beeping) 579 00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:56,273 (Radio chatter) (Phone ringing) 580 00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:01,011 (Ping-pong ball continues bouncing) 581 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:04,815 (Woman on pa, indistinct) (Laughter) 582 00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:08,919 Man (Whispering): I know things about the dead. 583 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,922 - (Screams) - (Screeches) 584 00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:14,825 Man: When I left from Africa, I thought I was mad. 585 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,862 - Man #2: You look the same. - I'm not. 586 00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:20,664 And I have sworn to do very foolish things. 36920