Original subtitles

(phone ringing)

Ah, hello. VERA: It's Vera.

I can't stop thinking about last night.

You were amazing.

Well, don't thank me, you know,

thank the inventor of Rollerblades.

I'm looking forward to seeing you and Tommy

at my office tomorrow.

Are you excited?

BEN: Are you kidding me? Rail Mall is my dream.

It's finally becoming a reality.

BEN: I'm planning my outfit right now, actually.

Oh, yeah? What are you wearing?

My suit-- you know, swim trunks on underneath.

Lose the suit.

And what, wear swim trunks to work?

Come on, what is this, Brazil?

What would you do to me if it were...

(with accent): Brazil?

BEN: Um, geez...

(clears throat) I don't know.

I-I, I don't speak Portuguese,

so I guess my first move would probably be

to get a guidebook, you know?

Uh, maybe check my e-mail at a local hostel.

VERA: Ben!

Oh! Oh! You mean... oh.

I see where you're going with this.

(laughs)

I would probably take you down to a beach.

Is this a topless beach?

Because I'm topless right now.

Oh, yes it is.

ASSISTANT: Ms. Everson, Tom is still holding.

VERA: Tell him I just need a couple of minutes.

I'm... (clears throat) I'm sorry,

is that your assistant on the phone?

Yeah, he's on all my calls.

ASSISTANT: Hey, Ben.

Did you get my e-mail with the parking info for tomorrow?

Yeah, uh... yeah, I did, um, Bruce.

Tommy and I'll be coming in two cars, though,

so we're going to have to figure something out.

Anyway, do you think you could

maybe jump off the call here, bud?

No, no, he's good.

Okay, sure.

Um, yeah, so, I guess I'd be in a mask,

you know, 'cause it's... Carnivale. (laughs)

Tonight there are no rules.

Are there, Bruce?

* Wake up, look around

* There's a feeling today

* Fall down, get up again

* Get in the game

* Hey, hey, hey

* We're all here anyway.

Hey, baby, you ready for school?

Almost. Will says hi.

Will? My Will?

I mean, I mean, Will. Will, the neighbor Will?

That's kind of weird.

What do you-- like, Will that I used to be friends with

that I'm not friends with anymore? That guy?

How'd he say it, Red?

How'd he say "hi"? What do you mean?

It's a simple question, Maddie.

Simple question. How did he say, "Hi"?

Was he like, "Hi!"

Or, was he like, "Hi."

Or, did he say, like, "Hey"? Or, did he not even say, "Hi"?

Did he say, "Hey"?

Was he, like, "Hey"? Or, was he like, "Hey, Hey"?

You're stress eating. No, I'm-I'm not.

Do you remember how chunky you got when Maddie's dad left?

I was pregnant. It's no excuse.

Maddie, when did Will say hi?

Just a second ago, at the door. What?

WILL: Hello?

Kate?

Hi. (laughs awkwardly)

Hey. Hey.

Way to bury the lead, dude.

Sorry to just show up like this.

I can come back. No, it's fine.

I should've called. Will, it's fine. (laughs)

Why are you being so weird about it,

you big jerk.

(laughs awkwardly)

Sorry, I didn't mean...

So, how have you been? (stammers)

Yeah? Good.

How have you been? Good.

Good. BJ: Boring...

(clears throat) Listen, um, we're neighbors... Yes.

I just didn't want things to get strange... er... between us.

I wanted to come break the ice and invite you

to my house tonight Oh.

I'm having a little get-together.

Oh. Yeah, just a few people.

I-I-I really think it'll be fun, though.

(humming oddly)

I have not... I do-I have not the time.

(awkward chuckle)

Tonight is tough.

She has nothing. I have something.

I have to go down the street to the barge,

visit my friend, and then...

The barge?

Yeah, I got to head on over to the, uh...

it's like a b-- a business-business shower.

She has got absolutely nothing at all.

So, we'll see you later.

8:00-ish? Yeah.

Thank you for being here, everyone.

Welcome, Ben and Tommy.

Thank you so much, Michael. So glad to be here.

Yeah, and these are great chairs. Yeah, they really are.

Business... casual.

(laughing): So fun. Super fun.

All right, let's dive in.

Rail Mall: a new take on food delivery.

Order dinner as you hop onto the subway,

have it handed to you as you hop off.

Now, turn your packets to page one,

as we discuss why this business plan

is guaranteed to fail.

What's the plan tonight with Will?

Gonna drag him upstairs, replay your greatest hits?

No, I don't just want hook up with him, BJ.

I want to, like-- I feel like this

could be a chance for us to get back together. Aw.

Like, (robotic voice): Will and Kate 2.0.

Don't do that voice. No, I won't do that. I won't do that voice.

No more crazy Kate, you know?

All that craziness is what got us broken up

in the first place.

From now on, I'm just going to be, like,

(with French accent): super cool Kate.

Ooh, while you're up, would you get me a vodka tonic?

Merci, cherie.

Thanks, babe.

Mmm.

Excuse me, I hate to interrupt.

How funny. You seem so wonderful at it.

Well, I, uh, work for a commercial company.

And we are looking for real-life mothers and daughters

for an ad we're shooting.

Oh, wow, really?

Yes, and you're British, even better.

It's a big campaign; we're hoping to go international.

Oh, fabulous. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, she's not really my... Shh, shh, shh!

Baby, Mommy's talking.

Would there be nudity required?

No, of course not.

How about for me? What?

Tiny bit?

Instead of customers ordering food from restaurants,

we find our own vendors.

We have them prepare pre-packaged

ready-to-cook meals.

Steph, you had a phrase on that?

"Take and Bake."

VERA: That's-- I love that.

Take and Bake, done.

BEN: Wait, what?

No. I... (scoffs)

At the end of a long day, I don't want to cook.

I'm so tired, I wish somebody would just

put the food right into my mouth.

Our research suggests otherwise.

Oh, really?

You've researched what I like putting in my mouth?

I don't think so, pal.

VERA: Okay. That's not what I said.

Okay... there he is.

Keep it cool, Kate.

Cool and relaxed.

Uh-huh, keeping it real.

Oh, my God, these are so good.

Who made these?

I'm going to murder whoever made these.

Hey. I did.

Me, I made them. But don't murder me.

There's just so many things I haven't done in life that I still want to do.

Did you really make these? Yeah, I'm a baker. It's kind of my thing.

That is so awesome. I've always wanted to learn how to bake.

It's the only way I can turn off my brain sometimes.

It's kind of my thing.

Darn it, I already said that, right?

Yeah.

It's embarrassing. (laughs)

WOMAN: Lance! That's me. Um, I'm Lance.

Lance...! And you're very pretty. Sorry... Sorry.

Over here!

I should... sorry.

(chuckles)

Wow. You two were really hitting it off, huh?

I can hit it off with anybody who has baked goods.

Why, is he a friend of yours?

Oh, no, he's just a friend of a friend. Mm-hmm.

It's okay. I mean, we broke up.

I can't exactly tell you not to see other people. Yeah, I know.

But we've only been broken up for a couple weeks,

so it's not like... I mean, why-- have you been

have you been dating other people?

Um, well, yeah, haven't you?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Like, a lot of hours in the day

are spent with other people.

Specifically, like, new men. Like, all... Wow.

I'm also lining up a little somethin'-somethin' right now.

MAN: Yeah! Turn it up! (music gets louder)

Lance!

Tomorrow, you and me. What about it?

Bakin'. Bacon?

No, bakin'. Bake... baking.

I don't eat meat.

Ba-- you know what?

I'll come to you.

(music blaring)

What?

All right, let's get this over with.

What's wrong with you?

(snorts) Just our first day working with Vera's people

was a disaster.

I don't even fit in, in my own company.

Dude, that is absolutely ridiculous.

Tommy, back me up.

This is more of a Ben thing.

I already feel like they listened to me.

I think the secret to being a creative force,

is to wear red pants and state the obvious.

If we can offer lower prices,

I think we can save our customers a lot of money.

Tommy's right.

And especially in this economy.

Mm-hmm.

You guys came up with Rail Mall, they should listen to you.

We don't even speak the same language.

That's what's great about you.

It's always weirdo freakos like you

who make a zillion dollars in the business world, right?

Make them listen to you.

BJ: Smaller circles.

Smaller.

And smaller, and smaller cir-- Okay, baby, your food's...

ready. What's going on?

Me and BJ are rehearsing for our commercial.

I was going to ask your permission, Kate,

but then I just thought, why should I? This is not okay.

Please? BJ's pretending to be my mom, and it's really fun.

Yeah, she's having fun with her mother for a change.

If it doesn't take away from school,

and if you're having fun,

then I guess it's fine.

But if you're supposed to be her mom,

act like her mom.

That is the basic premise of acting, Kate.

Show me.

Fine.

(in baby talk): Oh... look at you...

my little, little...

weasely little... potato.

I love you.

I do-- 'cause you're my little baby bit of nothing.

My little greasy, little pushy-wushy smooshy face.

And I love you.

End scene.

That was terrifying.

BEN: Ladies and gentlemen,

the solution is not going to come

from a business school graduate.

It's going to come from the people

that are on the front lines.

Delivery drivers,

from the top five restaurants that Michael mentioned.

You guys have heard the problem. Let's hear from you.

Wonton Wok-- what do you got, bud?

I am pretty high right now.

BEN: Uh, uh, oh...

okay... (awkward chuckle)

Uh, Taipei Thai.

And... you're high, too.

Okay, quick show of hands, guys-- who here is high?

Are pills count as high?

Uh, not... technically, I guess.

TOMMY: I feel like it should, though.

I mean, that has them all messed up...

It should count. Yeah. It should. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, but Ben, this is just not the way we do business here.

Vera, for an imaginative and flexible lover,

your business acumen is very rigid and missionary.

Excuse me? MICHAEL: Vera, if I may:

Ben, your idea is fundamentally flawed.

Vera, if I may:

Michael, you're fundamentally fired.

Ben, you can't do that, he works for me.

Oh! Well, then, you're fired, too.

This is my company and I'm going to make it work.

This train is leaving.

Who's coming aboard?

Make it quick.

Because we don't have much time... left on the meter.

Tommy's right. You know...

none of us know how much time we have on this planet.

I'm coming with you guys.

Anybody else?

Come on.

Let's do this, everybody.

Come on.

Anyone? Guys? Come on.

No? Okay.

Gary, kind of thought you'd be coming with.

You know, seeing as your career has kind of stalled,

but, uh, okay, guess not.

Good-bye.

And good luck.

You're going to need it.

Sorry.

Baking's a beautiful thing.

Just go through the steps, it works every time.

Totally clears your mind.

Tell me, what are you thinking right now?

I'm thinking that I-I wish

I washed my hands before I did this.

You-you can wash your hands after.

Look, all this stuff... was made with dirty hands.

It's delicious. (chuckles) Ew.

What are you so stressed out about?

I don't know. I guess I just have

a lot of questions running through my head,

you know? Like, am I raising

my daughter right? Am I doing a good job?

Am I ever gonna have a career?

Who is Will dating?

And have they slept together yet?

And if so,

what is she into?

What kind of stuff does she like?

I'm really sorry; I shouldn't have...

I don't, I shouldn't talk about that stuff in front of you.

That's... horrible.

You are totally...

a friend of a friend of Will's, and he's my, like,

ex-neighbor, except he's not, 'cause he still lives

in the house that he lives in,

which is next to mine, which makes him my neighbor.

I'm sorry; I've been known

to get a little crazy sometimes,

and I real... mm.

Trust me...

I'm okay with crazy.

I really want to wash my hands.

You can wash your hands after.

You kissed him. I did.

And then I did it again.

And then I ate so many rolls.

Yeah, you did.

Oh, you mean you had actual bread.

Yeah. They were delicious.

Lovely. We're having dinner tonight.

Aw. Adorable. At, like, 5:00.

Because he has to get up so early. Yeah.

Which is ideal-- it takes the whole stigma off

of going to bed at 8:00.

Let's hope he loves sweatpants and hairy legs.

Then you can really give up. That would be like heaven. Oh!

Also, don't worry because we're gonna be done

before you and Maddie get home from the audition.

How is that going, by the way?

So great.

Yeah, we're really bonding.

No! No, no, no.

What is happening with your accent?

(North England accent): I've been listening to the BBC all day.

Am I on the BBC? Have I got my own radio show?

No, I don't. You're supposed to be my child,

so listen to me, okay?

Try this: "Hello."

Hello. Hopeless!

You sound like a Northern trollop.

(Birmingham accent): I want you to get on a train and go south to Birmingham.

Right? Then I want you to change trains.

(Bristol accent): You're gonna end up in Bristol.

Hop on a train, whiz to London.

(like Michael Caine): Spot Michael Caine walking his dog.

Don't talk to him.

(Australian accent): You're gonna see some Aussies having a latte.

You feel thirsty, you want a cappuccino, no.

(London accent): Get out of your cab at South Kensington.

Now try it again.

Hello.

(North England accent): Hello.

Well...

thank God we're both pretty.

Half of the great businesses in America started in a garage.

Ben, can I just say, I'm really excited to be a part of this. There will be

absolutely no flirting in this office.

You understand me? I think... Yeah, I'm sorry.

Stephanie, you're still doing it. Okay,

let's just start riffing on some big ideas here, okay?

Whatever you got, throw it out there, okay?

It'll be like business jazz.

Uh... (scatting) Stocks.

(scatting)

Market share.

(scatting) World markets.

(scatting)

(continues scatting)

(scatting)

Net profits.

(chuckles) Ben, if I may solo?

Please, yeah, break it down.

Now, our biggest problem is having the food

delivered to the train stations on time.

Now, if we take the trains out of the equation,

we'll just have the food delivered right to the customer's house.

Yeah, but that's just restaurant delivery.

Okay, let's just keep riffing. Okay...

(scatting)

(scatting softly)

(scatting)

I got it.

Let's order pizza.

I love it.

(gasps)

I made a terrible mistake.

KATE: You're totally right.

This is completely relaxing.

Calming me down.

I feel like I'm...

like I'm a human rake

in my own private Zen garden. Yeah.

And I'm swearing less. I don't even feel like swearing ever again.

(doorbell rings)

Who does that in the middle of first dinner?

(chuckles) Son of a bitch.

What do you want, hm?

Hi. Mm!

What? Is this a bad time?

What are you doing? Um, I... I don't know.

I-I just thought I'd stop by and-and...

Oh, my God, what smells so good?

You should not be here.

(doorbell rings) (groans)

Hi. Who are you?

I'm Vera. I'm looking for Ben.

I thought Ben was with you. No.

Ben fired me. Sorry. I...

Stephanie. No, I'm Kate.

Where's Ben? He's in the back office.

Two things: do I need

to dial nine to use your fax machine?

And do you have a fax machine?

Who are you?! You know what? I don't care.

I am... in the middle of something,

so, if you don't mind...

Um, hello, Stephanie, nice to know you.

Can you please take

Vera to the back office?

G... uh...

Uh.

STEPHANIE: Ben,

I have Vera for you. I got your call. I'm here.

What do you want? I wanted to invite you to lunch.

Wait, do you... sleep in the garage? Yes, that's right.

Mm-hmm. Ask me what we're having.

It looks like pizza. Ah, yes, but what kind of pizza?

Because I have no idea.

Ah! Hawaiian.

Aloha. Yeah, you see, I order from Jack

a lot, and today I asked him to surprise me.

Jack, how'd you arrive at Hawaiian?

You had sausage five times last week.

I thought I'd change it up.

You live in your garage and you eat pizza every night.

Why does that turn me on? JACK: Also,

there's a new Chinese store next place.

I got some "wontoms." Thought you might... like it.

He thought I might like some "womtoms."

You see, Michael said that people pick

the same five restaurants.

But that's just because they're stuck in a rut.

Okay, we'll figure out the eating habits of our customers,

and we'll suggest places that they haven't tried before.

Targeted recommendations. Well, that's...

been incredibly successful online with books and music.

Boom! Is what your brain just did.

Vera, welcome to Rail Meal.

I thought of the name... Come here, you resourceful son of a bitch.

(grunts)

Stephanie, hold all my calls.

And also, please leave.

Uh, quick, Stephanie and Jack!

Oh! Nobody gets naked faster than B...

Uh, there we go. Okay. Hey, I wanted a womtom.

KATE: Why are you here?

What, are you trying to win me back?

Sorry, dude, she's with me now.

What?

(chuckles) What?

Sorry, that's...

(scoffs) ridiculous.

We kissed, like, once.

Totally. Wait, what?

You... you kissed him?

What? Well, I wouldn't have just kissed you if I knew

you had just kissed him. Wait, you guys just kissed?

He kissed me.

This is too much.

I-I got to go.

The only thing I have to say to you, Kate,

is that, in about 20 minutes,

you're gonna want to check the bread,

stick a knife in it.

If it comes out clean, it's done, and...

you might want to eat most of it today,

because tomorrow, it's gonna be pretty stale

and that's only good for birds and croutons.

What are you doing here?

I don't know. I...

I-I missed you. You missed me?

Will, pick a lane!

What do you want? I don't know!

I-I just... seeing you with this guy,

it's-it's-it's driving me crazy.

And that's why you're doing this, right?

To drive me crazy?

No, I don't want to make you crazy,

but I do need someone who can embrace my kind of crazy.

I mean, I'm still the same person that you broke up with.

My same hang-ups and my same old mess-- it's all the same,

so... is that something that you want again?

Not... all of it.

I mean, not... all.

You know what? I think we got it right the first time.

I just feel like there's no real good place

for me to go around here.

May I please have another chocolate, Mummy?

(chuckles) Darling, it's almost supper.

But it's a Redmond.

Then you may have two.

(giggling)

Wow, that was great. Was it?

Quick word with Mom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Excellent work.

You're a natural. Really? Really?

Here's the deal: you got it. Yeah.

I got it? Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah.

(laughing) But-but, listen...

Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm excited. Okay, okay...

but I am gonna have to pair you with a different kid.

What? What do you... what do you mean?

Did we get it?

No, sweetness,

we didn't because...

you were perfect,

but this hack says I wasn't believable.

That's... not what I... Don't...

you... dare...

Mr. Director.

Come on, babes.

(American accent): She's not really my mom.

You can pair me with anybody.

Thank you.

You really could be my daughter.

Come on.

(grunting with effort)

Oh, you...

Come on.

Hey. Hi.

I, uh, took a walk, cleared my head.

Hey, is somebody building something in the garage?

There's a lot of banging and cursing out there.

Yeah, that's my brother...

starting a business.

Is Will still here? No.

No, I'm really sorry about all of that.

I... I'm kind of a mess right now,

so... I don't know... you seem all right to me.

(timer dings)

That's our bread.

You ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Uh-oh! Here we go!

Look at these guys.

Party room in here! T.G.I. always with this crew.

Unreal. (chuckles)

Hey, guys, eyes on the prize, okay?

You could be across the hall before you know it, you know?

Hanging up a poster, putting your gym bag by the door.

I don't know.

Sky's the limit, boys. (chuckles)

And this crew-- yeah, I got a feeling a bunch of us

are gonna be going in on a ski cabin this winter, am I right?

(chuckles)

I call bottom bunk.

Hey, Jill, you have to do me a favor, okay?

You got to lay off making those cookies.

I swear, I'm not gonna be able to fit into my khakis

if you keep doing that.

(laughs) I'm just yanking your crank.

Darius. Afternoon.

Hey, Shockley, who am I?

(laughing): Yeah, Darius! Exactly.

I'll see you at softball, bud.

Tweet me later!