All language subtitles for Ben.And.Kate.S01E13_English

(phone ringing)

Ah, hello.
VERA:
It's Vera.

I can't stop thinking
about last night.

You were amazing.

Well, don't thank me, you know,

thank the inventor of
Rollerblades.

I'm looking forward to
seeing you and Tommy

at my office tomorrow.

Are you excited?

BEN:
Are you kidding me?
Rail Mall is my dream.

It's finally becoming a reality.

BEN:
I'm planning my outfit right
now, actually.

Oh, yeah?
What are you wearing?

My suit-- you know, swim trunks
on underneath.

Lose the suit.

And what,
wear swim trunks to work?

Come on, what is this, Brazil?

What would you do
to me if it were...

(with accent):
Brazil?

BEN:
Um, geez...

(clears throat)
I don't know.

I-I, I don't speak Portuguese,

so I guess my first move
would probably be

to get a guidebook, you know?

Uh, maybe check my e-mail
at a local hostel.

VERA:
Ben!

Oh! Oh! You mean... oh.

I see where
you're going with this.

(laughs)

I would probably take you
down to a beach.

Is this a topless beach?

Because I'm topless right now.

Oh, yes it is.

ASSISTANT:
Ms. Everson, Tom is still
holding.

VERA: Tell him I just need
a couple of minutes.

I'm... (clears throat)
I'm sorry,

is that your assistant
on the phone?

Yeah, he's on all my calls.

ASSISTANT:
Hey, Ben.

Did you get my e-mail with the
parking info for tomorrow?

Yeah, uh...
yeah, I did, um, Bruce.

Tommy and I'll be coming
in two cars, though,

so we're going to have to figure
something out.

Anyway, do you think you could

maybe jump off
the call here, bud?

No, no, he's good.

Okay, sure.

Um, yeah, so,
I guess I'd be in a mask,

you know, 'cause it's...
Carnivale. (laughs)

Tonight there are no rules.

Are there, Bruce?

* Wake up, look around

* There's a feeling today

* Fall down, get up again

* Get in the game

* Hey, hey, hey

* We're all here anyway.

Hey, baby, you ready for school?

Almost.
Will says hi.

Will?
My Will?

I mean, I mean, Will.
Will, the neighbor Will?

That's kind of weird.

What do you-- like, Will that I
used to be friends with

that I'm not friends with
anymore? That guy?

How'd he say it, Red?

How'd he say "hi"?
What do you mean?

It's a simple question, Maddie.

Simple question.
How did he say, "Hi"?

Was he like, "Hi!"

Or, was he like, "Hi."

Or, did he say, like, "Hey"?
Or, did he not even say, "Hi"?

Did he say, "Hey"?

Was he, like, "Hey"?
Or, was he like, "Hey, Hey"?

You're stress
eating.
No, I'm-I'm not.

Do you remember how chunky
you got when Maddie's dad left?

I was pregnant.
It's no excuse.

Maddie,
when did Will say hi?

Just a second ago,
at the door.
What?

WILL:
Hello?

Kate?

Hi. (laughs awkwardly)

Hey.
Hey.

Way to bury
the lead, dude.

Sorry to just
show up like this.

I can come back.
No, it's fine.

I should've called.
Will, it's fine.
(laughs)

Why are you being
so weird about it,

you big jerk.

(laughs awkwardly)

Sorry, I didn't mean...

So, how have you been?
(stammers)

Yeah?
Good.

How have you been?
Good.

Good.
BJ:
Boring...

(clears throat) Listen, um,
we're neighbors...
Yes.

I just didn't want things to get
strange... er... between us.

I wanted to come break
the ice and invite you

to my house tonight
Oh.

I'm having a
little get-together.

Oh.
Yeah, just a few people.

I-I-I really think
it'll be fun, though.

(humming oddly)

I have not... I do-I
have not the time.

(awkward chuckle)

Tonight is tough.

She has nothing.
I have something.

I have to go down the
street to the barge,

visit my friend,
and then...

The barge?

Yeah, I got to head on
over to the, uh...

it's like a b--
a business-business shower.

She has got
absolutely nothing at all.

So, we'll see you later.

8:00-ish?
Yeah.

Thank you for being
here, everyone.

Welcome,
Ben and Tommy.

Thank you so much, Michael.
So glad to be here.

Yeah, and these
are great chairs.
Yeah, they
really are.

Business... casual.

(laughing):
So fun.
Super fun.

All right,
let's dive in.

Rail Mall:
a new take on food delivery.

Order dinner as you
hop onto the subway,

have it handed to
you as you hop off.

Now, turn your
packets to page one,

as we discuss why
this business plan

is guaranteed to fail.

What's the plan
tonight with Will?

Gonna drag him upstairs,
replay your greatest hits?

No, I don't just want
hook up with him, BJ.

I want to, like--
I feel like this

could be a chance for us
to get back together.
Aw.

Like, (robotic voice):
Will and Kate 2.0.

Don't do that voice.
No, I won't do that.
I won't do that voice.

No more crazy Kate, you know?

All that craziness is
what got us broken up

in the first place.

From now on, I'm just
going to be, like,

(with French accent):
super cool Kate.

Ooh, while you're up, would
you get me a vodka tonic?

Merci, cherie.

Thanks, babe.

Mmm.

Excuse me,
I hate to interrupt.

How funny.
You seem so wonderful at it.

Well, I, uh, work for
a commercial company.

And we are looking for
real-life mothers and daughters

for an ad we're shooting.

Oh, wow, really?

Yes, and you're British,
even better.

It's a big campaign;
we're hoping to go
international.

Oh, fabulous. Yeah.
Yeah.

Well, she's not really my...
Shh, shh, shh!

Baby, Mommy's talking.

Would there be nudity required?

No, of course not.

How about for me?
What?

Tiny bit?

Instead of customers
ordering food from restaurants,

we find our own vendors.

We have them
prepare pre-packaged

ready-to-cook meals.

Steph, you had a
phrase on that?

"Take and Bake."

VERA:
That's-- I love that.

Take and Bake, done.

BEN:
Wait, what?

No. I... (scoffs)

At the end of a long day,
I don't want to cook.

I'm so tired,
I wish somebody would just

put the food
right into my mouth.

Our research
suggests otherwise.

Oh, really?

You've researched what I
like putting in my mouth?

I don't think so, pal.

VERA: Okay.
That's not what I said.

Okay... there he is.

Keep it cool, Kate.

Cool and relaxed.

Uh-huh, keeping it real.

Oh, my God,
these are so good.

Who made these?

I'm going to murder
whoever made these.

Hey. I did.

Me, I made them.
But don't murder me.

There's just so many things
I haven't done in life
that I still want to do.

Did you really
make these?
Yeah, I'm a baker.
It's kind of my thing.

That is so awesome.
I've always wanted to
learn how to bake.

It's the only way I can
turn off my brain sometimes.

It's kind of my thing.

Darn it, I already
said that, right?

Yeah.

It's embarrassing.
(laughs)

WOMAN: Lance!
That's me. Um, I'm Lance.

Lance...!
And you're very pretty.
Sorry... Sorry.

Over here!

I should... sorry.

(chuckles)

Wow. You two were really
hitting it off, huh?

I can hit it off with
anybody who has baked goods.

Why, is he
a friend of yours?

Oh, no, he's just a
friend of a friend.
Mm-hmm.

It's okay.
I mean, we broke up.

I can't exactly tell you
not to see other people.
Yeah, I know.

But we've only been broken up
for a couple weeks,

so it's not like...
I mean, why-- have you been

have you been dating
other people?

Um, well, yeah, haven't you?

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

Like, a lot of
hours in the day

are spent with
other people.

Specifically, like, new men.
Like, all...
Wow.

I'm also lining up a little
somethin'-somethin' right now.

MAN: Yeah! Turn it up!
(music gets louder)

Lance!

Tomorrow, you and me.
What about it?

Bakin'.
Bacon?

No, bakin'.
Bake... baking.

I don't eat meat.

Ba-- you know what?

I'll come to you.

(music blaring)

What?

All right,
let's get this over with.

What's wrong with you?

(snorts) Just our first day
working with Vera's people

was a disaster.

I don't even fit in,
in my own company.

Dude, that is
absolutely ridiculous.

Tommy, back me up.

This is more of a Ben thing.

I already feel like
they listened to me.

I think the secret to
being a creative force,

is to wear red pants
and state the obvious.

If we can offer
lower prices,

I think we can save our
customers a lot of money.

Tommy's right.

And especially in
this economy.

Mm-hmm.

You guys came up with Rail Mall,
they should listen to you.

We don't even speak
the same language.

That's what's
great about you.

It's always weirdo
freakos like you

who make a zillion dollars
in the business world, right?

Make them listen to you.

BJ:
Smaller circles.

Smaller.

And smaller,
and smaller cir--
Okay, baby, your food's...

ready.
What's going on?

Me and BJ are rehearsing
for our commercial.

I was going to ask
your permission, Kate,

but then I just thought,
why should I?
This is not okay.

Please? BJ's pretending to be
my mom, and it's really fun.

Yeah, she's having fun
with her mother for a change.

If it doesn't take
away from school,

and if you're having fun,

then I guess it's fine.

But if you're
supposed to be her mom,

act like her mom.

That is the basic
premise of acting, Kate.

Show me.

Fine.

(in baby talk):
Oh... look at you...

my little, little...

weasely little... potato.

I love you.

I do-- 'cause you're
my little baby bit of nothing.

My little greasy, little
pushy-wushy smooshy face.

And I love you.

End scene.

That was terrifying.

BEN:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the solution is not
going to come

from a business
school graduate.

It's going to
come from the people

that are on the
front lines.

Delivery drivers,

from the top five restaurants
that Michael mentioned.

You guys have heard the problem.
Let's hear from you.

Wonton Wok--
what do you got, bud?

I am pretty
high right now.

BEN: Uh, uh, oh...

okay...
(awkward chuckle)

Uh, Taipei Thai.

And... you're high, too.

Okay, quick show of
hands, guys-- who here is high?

Are pills count as high?

Uh, not...
technically, I guess.

TOMMY: I feel like
it should, though.

I mean, that has them
all messed up...

It should count. Yeah.
It should.
Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, but Ben, this is just not
the way we do business here.

Vera, for an imaginative and
flexible lover,

your business acumen
is very rigid and missionary.

Excuse me?
MICHAEL: Vera, if I may:

Ben, your idea
is fundamentally flawed.

Vera, if I may:

Michael, you're
fundamentally fired.

Ben, you can't do that,
he works for me.

Oh! Well, then,
you're fired, too.

This is my company and I'm
going to make it work.

This train is leaving.

Who's coming aboard?

Make it quick.

Because we don't have much
time... left on the meter.

Tommy's right. You know...

none of us know how much time
we have on this planet.

I'm coming with you guys.

Anybody else?

Come on.

Let's do this, everybody.

Come on.

Anyone? Guys?
Come on.

No? Okay.

Gary, kind of thought
you'd be coming with.

You know, seeing as
your career has kind of stalled,

but, uh, okay, guess not.

Good-bye.

And good luck.

You're going to need it.

Sorry.

Baking's a
beautiful thing.

Just go through the steps,
it works every time.

Totally clears your mind.

Tell me, what are you
thinking right now?

I'm thinking that I-I wish

I washed my hands
before I did this.

You-you can wash
your hands after.

Look, all this stuff...
was made with dirty hands.

It's delicious.
(chuckles)
Ew.

What are you
so stressed out about?

I don't know.
I guess I just have

a lot of questions
running through my head,

you know?
Like, am I raising

my daughter right?
Am I doing a good job?

Am I ever gonna
have a career?

Who is Will dating?

And have they slept
together yet?

And if so,

what is she into?

What kind
of stuff does she like?

I'm really sorry;
I shouldn't have...

I don't, I shouldn't talk about
that stuff in front of you.

That's... horrible.

You are totally...

a friend of a friend of Will's,
and he's my, like,

ex-neighbor, except he's not,
'cause he still lives

in the house
that he lives in,

which is next to mine,
which makes him my neighbor.

I'm sorry; I've been known

to get a little
crazy sometimes,

and I real... mm.

Trust me...

I'm okay with crazy.

I really want to wash my hands.

You can wash
your hands after.

You kissed him.
I did.

And then I did it again.

And then I ate so many rolls.

Yeah, you did.

Oh, you mean
you had actual bread.

Yeah.
They were delicious.

Lovely.
We're having
dinner tonight.

Aw. Adorable.
At, like, 5:00.

Because he has to
get up so early.
Yeah.

Which is ideal--
it takes the whole stigma off

of going to bed at 8:00.

Let's hope he loves sweatpants
and hairy legs.

Then you can really give up.
That would be like heaven. Oh!

Also, don't worry
because we're gonna be done

before you and Maddie get home
from the audition.

How is that going, by the way?

So great.

Yeah, we're really bonding.

No! No, no, no.

What is happening
with your accent?

(North England accent):
I've been listening
to the BBC all day.

Am I on the BBC?
Have I got my own radio show?

No, I don't.
You're supposed to be my child,

so listen to me, okay?

Try this: "Hello."

Hello.
Hopeless!

You sound like
a Northern trollop.

(Birmingham accent):
I want you to get on a train
and go south to Birmingham.

Right? Then I want
you to change trains.

(Bristol accent):
You're gonna end
up in Bristol.

Hop on a train,
whiz to London.

(like Michael Caine):
Spot Michael Caine
walking his dog.

Don't talk to him.

(Australian accent):
You're gonna see some
Aussies having a latte.

You feel thirsty,
you want a cappuccino, no.

(London accent):
Get out of your cab
at South Kensington.

Now try it again.

Hello.

(North England accent):
Hello.

Well...

thank God we're both pretty.

Half of the great businesses
in America started in a garage.

Ben, can I just say, I'm really
excited to be a part of this.
There will be

absolutely no flirting
in this office.

You understand me?
I think... Yeah, I'm sorry.

Stephanie,
you're still doing it.
Okay,

let's just start riffing
on some big ideas here, okay?

Whatever you got,
throw it out there, okay?

It'll be like business jazz.

Uh...
(scatting)
Stocks.

(scatting)

Market share.

(scatting)
World markets.

(scatting)

(continues scatting)

(scatting)

Net profits.

(chuckles)
Ben, if I may solo?

Please, yeah,
break it down.

Now, our biggest problem
is having the food

delivered to the train
stations on time.

Now, if we take the trains
out of the equation,

we'll just have the food
delivered right
to the customer's house.

Yeah, but that's just
restaurant delivery.

Okay, let's just keep riffing.
Okay...

(scatting)

(scatting softly)

(scatting)

I got it.

Let's order pizza.

I love it.

(gasps)

I made a terrible mistake.

KATE:
You're totally right.

This is completely relaxing.

Calming me down.

I feel like I'm...

like I'm a human rake

in my own private Zen garden.
Yeah.

And I'm swearing less.
I don't even feel like
swearing ever again.

(doorbell rings)

Who does that in the middle
of first dinner?

(chuckles)
Son of a bitch.

What do you want, hm?

Hi.
Mm!

What?
Is this a bad time?

What are you doing?
Um, I... I don't know.

I-I just thought
I'd stop by and-and...

Oh, my God, what smells so good?

You should
not be here.

(doorbell rings)
(groans)

Hi.
Who are you?

I'm Vera. I'm looking for Ben.

I thought Ben was with you.
No.

Ben fired me.
Sorry. I...

Stephanie.
No, I'm Kate.

Where's Ben?
He's in the back office.

Two things: do I need

to dial nine to use
your fax machine?

And do you have
a fax machine?

Who are you?! You know what?
I don't care.

I am...
in the middle of something,

so, if you don't mind...

Um, hello, Stephanie,
nice to know you.

Can you please take

Vera to the back office?

G... uh...

Uh.

STEPHANIE:
Ben,

I have Vera for you.
I got your call. I'm here.

What do you want?
I wanted to invite
you to lunch.

Wait, do you... sleep
in the garage?
Yes, that's right.

Mm-hmm. Ask me
what we're having.

It looks like pizza.
Ah, yes, but what
kind of pizza?

Because I have no idea.

Ah! Hawaiian.

Aloha.
Yeah, you see, I
order from Jack

a lot, and today I asked
him to surprise me.

Jack, how'd you
arrive at Hawaiian?

You had sausage
five times last week.

I thought
I'd change it up.

You live in your garage
and you eat pizza every night.

Why does that turn me on?
JACK:
Also,

there's a new Chinese
store next place.

I got some "wontoms."
Thought you might... like it.

He thought I might
like some "womtoms."

You see, Michael said
that people pick

the same five restaurants.

But that's just because
they're stuck in a rut.

Okay, we'll figure out the
eating habits of our customers,

and we'll suggest places
that they haven't tried before.

Targeted recommendations.
Well, that's...

been incredibly successful
online with books and music.

Boom!
Is what your brain just did.

Vera, welcome to Rail Meal.

I thought of the name...
Come here, you resourceful
son of a bitch.

(grunts)

Stephanie, hold all my calls.

And also, please leave.

Uh, quick, Stephanie and Jack!

Oh!
Nobody gets naked faster
than B...

Uh, there we go. Okay.
Hey, I wanted a womtom.

KATE:
Why are you here?

What, are you trying
to win me back?

Sorry, dude,
she's with me now.

What?

(chuckles)
What?

Sorry, that's...

(scoffs)
ridiculous.

We kissed, like, once.

Totally.
Wait, what?

You... you kissed him?

What?
Well, I wouldn't have just
kissed you if I knew

you had just kissed him.
Wait, you guys
just kissed?

He kissed me.

This is too much.

I-I got to go.

The only thing I have
to say to you, Kate,

is that,
in about 20 minutes,

you're gonna want
to check the bread,

stick a knife in it.

If it comes out clean,
it's done, and...

you might want to eat
most of it today,

because tomorrow,
it's gonna be pretty stale

and that's only good
for birds and croutons.

What are you doing here?

I don't know. I...

I-I missed you.
You missed me?

Will, pick a lane!

What do you want?
I don't know!

I-I just... seeing
you with this guy,

it's-it's-it's
driving me crazy.

And that's why
you're doing this, right?

To drive me crazy?

No, I don't want
to make you crazy,

but I do need someone who can
embrace my kind of crazy.

I mean, I'm still the same
person that you broke up with.

My same hang-ups and my same
old mess-- it's all the same,

so... is that something
that you want again?

Not... all of it.

I mean, not... all.

You know what? I think we
got it right the first time.

I just feel like
there's no real good place

for me to go around here.

May I please have
another chocolate, Mummy?

(chuckles)
Darling, it's almost supper.

But it's a Redmond.

Then you may have two.

(giggling)

Wow, that was great.
Was it?

Quick word with Mom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Excellent work.

You're a natural.
Really? Really?

Here's the deal: you got it.
Yeah.

I got it? Are you serious?
Yeah. Yeah.

(laughing)
But-but, listen...

Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm excited.
Okay, okay...

but I am gonna have to pair you
with a different kid.

What? What do you...
what do you mean?

Did we get it?

No, sweetness,

we didn't because...

you were perfect,

but this hack says
I wasn't believable.

That's... not what I...
Don't...

you... dare...

Mr. Director.

Come on, babes.

(American accent):
She's not really my mom.

You can pair me with anybody.

Thank you.

You really could be my daughter.

Come on.

(grunting with effort)

Oh, you...

Come on.

Hey.
Hi.

I, uh, took a walk,
cleared my head.

Hey, is somebody building
something in the garage?

There's a lot of banging
and cursing out there.

Yeah, that's my brother...

starting a business.

Is Will still here?
No.

No, I'm really sorry
about all of that.

I... I'm kind
of a mess right now,

so...
I don't know...
you seem all right to me.

(timer dings)

That's our bread.

You ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Uh-oh! Here we go!

Look at these guys.

Party room in here!
T.G.I. always with this crew.

Unreal. (chuckles)

Hey, guys,
eyes on the prize, okay?

You could be across the hall
before you know it, you know?

Hanging up a poster, putting
your gym bag by the door.

I don't know.

Sky's the limit, boys.
(chuckles)

And this crew-- yeah, I got
a feeling a bunch of us

are gonna be going in on a ski
cabin this winter, am I right?

(chuckles)

I call bottom bunk.

Hey, Jill, you have
to do me a favor, okay?

You got to lay off
making those cookies.

I swear, I'm not gonna be able
to fit into my khakis

if you keep doing that.

(laughs)
I'm just yanking your crank.

Darius. Afternoon.

Hey, Shockley, who am I?

(laughing):
Yeah, Darius! Exactly.

I'll see you at softball, bud.

Tweet me later!