All language subtitles for Ben.And.Kate.S01E12_English

(chatting, laughing)

You did it again!

Come here.

Oh! Hey, guys.

I'm glad you all
are here.

Have you met my
girlfriend, Lila?

You literally have introduced
me to her, like, 50 times.

I guess it's 'cause
I just like saying it.

Well, I like hearing it.

(giggling)

I got burger in my bra.

I'd like to say that's
the first time, but...

Oh, hey, you guys.

(formally):
Kate, hello!
How are you today?

(mock formality):
Oh, hello, Senator.
How you doing?

What's happening?

Good to see you.

(clears throat)

You guys know the rule, okay?

Now, we all can't be in the
same place at the same time

in case of an explosion.

I'm thinking about
Maddie, y'all.

Let's go.

Bye-bye.

Yeah, I gotta hop, too.

I got a big meeting
at the bank about Rail Mall.

Ooh.

Do you know that right now,

there are millions
of train commuters

that are dying to impulse
buy, but they can't?
(sighs)

Oh, I want to get steps for
my dog to get to the toilet,

but there's
no onboard catalog.

I guess my poor,
sick mastiff Lucas

will just have to make
his mess on the floor again.

What's wrong with Lucas?

Well, he ate all that popcorn,
which we also sell at Rail Mall.

I can't bear hearing
about sick dogs.

If anything happened to Winnie,
I'd shoot myself in the face.

You have a dog?
Yeah.

I have literally never
heard you mention that.

Well, I have a life
outside you people, Ben.

Hey, was it just me

or were Tommy and Lila being
super weird around me?

Oh, totally.

I know.
Yeah.

But it can't be easy for her
being around you, Kate.

Tommy was madly
in love with you

for as far back
as I can remember,

which is about...

five weeks?

Why didn't I think of that?

I mean, what am I, the most
insensitive person in the world?

Listen, so what?
It's a bit awkward.

All you need to do is
next time you see her,

just, like, chat
her up a bit.

You know, tell her
a funny story

like that... Tell her
my favorite story:

the one, first day of
college, and you...

You...

Honestly, all gone.

* Wake up, look around

* There's a feeling today

* Fall down, get up again

* Get in the game

* Hey, hey, hey

* We're all here anyway.

Well, Ben,
you were right.

Your credit score
is impeccable.

I like to keep my
credit-to debit ratio

smaller than my waist-to-height.

Yeah, it keeps me lean
and financially virile.

Wow, that's... brilliant.

But as I told you before
over the phone,

it's going to be difficult
to get you a loan this size.

You love Rail Mall.

Okay, we're capitalizing

on a proven
business model here,

just with a little
Ben Fox twist.

This is SkyMall for trains.

Ben, if it were up to me, you
know I'd give you that money.

Hell, I'd partner with you.

I appreciate that, Seth.

But I can't just give
you money willy-nilly,

and even saying the
word "willy-nilly"

makes me feel weird.

My bosses aren't going
to approve a loan

without a serious
CEO on your team.

I'm going to be the CEO,
and I am deadly serious.

I'm sorry, but without
an experienced CEO,

I'm afraid it's
a non-starter.

(sighs)

Okay.

I understand.

Not the non-starter
business,

because I don't acknowledge
that kind of negativity,

but I'll find you a CEO.

So I was thinking,

I'm just going to ask Lila
to hang out with me.

You know, just-just
smooth over any awkwardness.

I don't know if smoothing over
awkwardness is very you, Kate.

But I feel like
that's just with men.

And women,
and strangers.

No one likes you
initially, do they?

Will and I broke up
because he couldn't fit in

with my, with my family
and my friends,

and I don't want
to be the thing

that comes between
Tommy and Lila.

So you know what?
I'm just going to text her.

I'm just going to send her,
like, a text that's, like...

Wrong move.

You just broke my phone, BJ.

You need to ask her
out face-to-face.

Try a bit of
physical contact.

Oh, just graze her elbow,
a little hand squeeze.

Oh.

Gentle little pinch.
Ow!

That got your attention.
Ow.

How about this?

Oh, hey, Lila.

Do you want to
hang out sometime?

Do some girl stuff?

I feel like this is going
to give Lila the wrong idea.

Hi, baby.
How was school?

Good.

Yeah?
Whales are mammals.

I didn't know that!
That's amazing.

You are so smart.

Did you know that
whales' eyes are the size

of a small teacup?

Yeah.

See, I know whale stuff, too.

You're really
smart too, BJ.
Thank you.

Who's Lila?

She's hopefully gonna
be my new girlfriend.

You have a girlfriend?

Well, no.

Lila is a girl, and I would
like her to be my friend,

but, you know, a girl
can have a girlfriend.

Oh, yes, she can.

(door opens)

Hey.

Hi.
Hi.

So how was the bank?

It literally could not
have gone better.

That's great.
So you got the loan.

Well, that-that...
I guess that...

Yeah, I guess it could
have gone better.

I could have gotten
the loan.

But the good news is

that all I need to do
is find a CEO,

and that's exactly why I got
the job at the country club:

to make those kind
of connections.

Oh, yeah? You just gonna go
fishing for an old CEO

down in the old
business pond?

It's called headhunting, Kate.

Why don't you take a
listen to my audio book,

Self Happens, Volume Three.

Just be careful, Ben, okay?

I just... It's an
important decision.

Adorable!

My little sister giving me
advice on business.

What about you, BJ?

Do you have any words
of wisdom to share

on starting a company?
Yes.

Make sure your target market
is modest in the beginning

so as not to stretch your
initial capital too thin.

I'm telling you,

I've got a life
outside you people.

I always thought
she was super dumb.

What if I told you
about an untapped market

that's ripe for domination?

A cash cow that would
weather a down market

better than any category
on the BCG matrix,

and all it needed was
an experienced CEO

like yourself, you know,

that could just, that could
just legitimize the venture.

(coughs):
Sorry, it's so hot.

Trying to catch my breath
with this steam.

It's, yeah...
Yeah.

Did you ladle
some water on there

right before
I got in here?

(laughter)

I had croup
as a kid, so...

Just having
a hard time breathing.

(laughter)

I'm crouping.

What?

Jerry, we already
set a price.

You better tell me right now
that we have a deal

or you are dead on both coasts.

You gonna put your hands
that deep in my pockets,

I better have a
smile on my face.

Do I sound like
I'm smiling, Jerry?

Idiot.

Snack Man, let me have
one of those waters.

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Vera Everson.
Ben Fox.

Feel free to wet
your whistle.

You know what also
has a whistle?

A train.

God, you're thirsty.

Okay, Kate.

Just gonna smooth over
any awkwardness.

Kate.

What's up, Lila?!

* Lila.

What's up? How are you?

What are you doing?
What's going on?

Hi.

I was just wondering, um--
just totally random thought--

do you want to
hang out with me?

Oh... yeah.

Right now

you want to hang out?
I do.

Do you want to
hang out with me?

Okay, yeah. That could be fun.

So fun!

I won't do that
when we hang out.
Ow.

Hey, thanks for plus-onening me
to this elbow rub.

My pleasure.

You know, I think you
really have something

with Rail Mail.

Oh, it's Rail Mall, actually,
but thank you.

That means a ton
coming from you.

I have read a
lot about you

in different
business journals.

You know the secret to
a successful negotiation?

Yes, I do.

Trade something you
can take now

for something you never
have to deliver.

Oh, actually, no.
Then I don't, no.

Thank you.
You're very welcome.

Watch and learn.

I'm gonna go take
that guy's crab puff.

Ooh, crab puff.

The lobster of
crab appetizers.

Let the games begin.

Hey. You hear the mayor's
going to be at this party?

Really?
You want to meet him?

Yeah.
It's gonna cost you
two crab puffs.

MAN:
You can have this one.

I'm keeping the last.

Hey, Ben. This is...

Carl!
Ben!

Hey, good to see you!
How are you, buddy?

You know what, the more
that I think about it,

Santa Fe is the perfect place
for your anniversary.

You know, plenty
of art for Alice,

and that clear air
will do wonders

for your bronchial issues.

Thanks, Ben.

Here. Have a crab puff.

Oh. Sure, yeah,
I'd love a crab puff.

Thank you.

(chuckles):
That is not fair.

You know that guy.

No, I met him, like,
five minutes ago.

People skills--
kinda my thing.

We would make one hell
of a team, Ben Fox.

Yes, we would.

Oh!
Better than mine.

I feel like you're
supposed to hit it

with the fatter end
of the stick,

'cause there's more
of a circumference...

Maybe if you
choke up on it.

You choke up on it.

(chuckling)

This is really fun.
You're fun.

You're fun.

I'm really sorry that
I was so weird earlier.

Yeah, you seemed
really nervous,

like we were on a first
date or something.

I kind of felt like maybe
you were gonna kiss me.

Oh, my God, no way.

I saw you and Tommy
kiss before,

and that was, like, some
movie kissing right there...

So what about you?
Do you have a guy?

No. I did,

but it didn't-didn't
really work out.

He didn't get along
with my friends, and Ben.

That's a deal breaker.

That's why I'm really glad
that you and I are hanging out,

'cause I want you
to feel so comfortable

with all of Tommy's friends,
especially me.

Yeah, I guess I feel
a little bit of pressure

for us to get along.

Yeah, I know,
and it must be weird, too,

because, like, you and I
kind of look alike,

and I don't want you
to think of me

as the girl that
Tommy was in love with

for ten years, you know?

I want you
to think of me

as the girl who is...

What's happening?
I...

You did not know that.

Tommy was in
love with you?

No, no, no, no, no. No.
I mean, not like that.

We're friends. Friends say that
to each other all the time.

Don't you say that
to your friends?

I feel like you and I
are friends now,

so I'm in love with you.

Is that her?

BJ, what are you doing here?

Hobnobbing.

Chewing the fat.

Also spying on
you for Kate.

What?
Ben, she's worried
about you.

You're an adorable
bichon frise

in a world of
bloodthirsty street dogs,

and she doesn't want
to see you get eaten.

Or forcibly mounted.

Oh, I am so sorry.

24-hour business cycle.

Right.
You know. Hello.

(Southern accent):
Howdy! Name's Judy.

I was just on my way
to the bar to get a beer,

I ran into this
son of a bitch!

Vera.

Oh, Vera,
great to meet ya, Vera.

Great to meet ya.
Put 'er there.

Oh...

Yeah.
(cell phone ringing)

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm gonna
have to take this.

Vera, it's been
a pleasure.

If you ever find yourself
in Houston,

try to catch an Astros game.

(laughing loudly)

(normal voice):
She is such a phony.

You are being crazy, okay?

It's my undercover character.
Vera is

a believer in Rail Mall,
and she's

a really good business partner.

She may be your
business partner, Ben,

but she also wants to get into
your business... parts-ner.

No, it's totally professional.

Oh, I don't think so.

(Southern accent):
Oh, sorry.
Aw, sorry.

Okay.
Judy was just taking off.

Later.

'Kay. See you, Judy.

God, you know, she...
I like Southern women.

Yeah.
I am really,
really sorry.

That's the last call
of the night, I promise.

But the good news is...

I just closed a
really big deal.

That's great!
Oh, yeah.

You want to come back
to my place and celebrate?

(nervous chuckle):
Uh, no, I... I, ah...

But I just don't.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I would.

(quiet chuckle)
Thank you.

Mm. Good God!

You enjoy brandy?

Oh, we've met.

Mm.

This is a great place.

What is this, like,
3,500 square feet?

Yes, exactly.
Really?

And, like, uh, 30-foot ceilings?

Yeah, that's right.
Yeah?

What's the parking sitch like,
three total spaces,

one on its own, two tandem?

You got it.
And the doorman,

what are you tipping him
at Christmas, huh?

Like, a tight two hundo
plus a nice baked good?

You really
know your stuff.

No, I just
really like lofts.

Hmm.
(soft chuckle)

Mm. Mm.

(cell phone ringing)

Ugh! It's my assistant.

My meeting got moved up
to early tomorrow morning.

Well... we can talk
business another time.

I'll get out of your hair.
No, no.

(whispers):
I want you in my hair.

Mm.

I really messed it up, BJ.

Hey, Tommy.
Hey, Maddie.

Go brush your teeth.

Hey, Kate. What's up?
Don't care.

How was your girl date
with Lila? Also don't care.

Did you say something
to her that might have
ruined everything?

I'll answer that.
Yes, you did,

and I care about that
very deeply.

Tommy, I am
so sorry, okay?

I was gonna tell you,
but then I was just

calling her because I just
wanted to fix it first.

I don't know that is fixable.

You have every right to be
mad at me, but I kind of

assumed that you would've
just told her about me.

Oh, yeah, 'cause, you know,
that's a really

easy conversation: "Hey,
girl I just started dating,

"meet the girl I've been
in love with for a decade.

"You guys want to go split
a thin-crust pizza

and get a garden salad?"
Oh, my God.

I hate this!
This is exactly

what I didn't want
to have happen.

I just wanted things
to be normal with her.

Why do you care if
my girlfriend likes you?

Because I want you
and me to be friends.

What are you talking about?
We've been friends forever.

Yeah, but not really, Tommy,
not like normal people.

There's always been
that other thing between us.

I was afraid that if
she didn't like me,

then what? Then
I'm just gonna be

some girl that you
used to be hung up on?

I don't want that to happen.
So what do we do now?

What would your friend do?

She'd help me get
my girlfriend back.

Then that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

And I promise
you that I will

never, ever, ever
mess anything up

between you guys
ever again.

I hate having you mad at me.

It's very weird.

Yeah.

Sorry, I'll let you
sort it out.

Work night!

Hey.

I got us a coffee box,

and a ton of cups--
you know, just in case

we leave them around
and we don't know who's who,

you know, we can just
throw 'em out and start over.

I just thought it'd
be easier that way.

Love that.
Yeah. Hey.

Mm.

Okay, whoa-whoa,
easy, okay?

Tonight's about
Rail Mall.

You got the "rail" part right.

(chuckling): That is...
that is filthy.

And... in a way that
I absolutely love.

But hey, hey,
hey, look,

we got to get our
plan together, okay,

so we can go
to the bank.

Oh, Ben, I'm not
going to the bank.

Look, this is
for Rail Mall.

No, you don't understand.

I'm not doing Rail Mail.

It's, uh, it's...
it's Rail Mall.

And what do you mean?
You said we'd make a great team.

Yeah, for sex.

But, uh... Rail Mall,

it's, uh... (exhales)
it's a bad idea.

Are you serious?
How could you say that?

Uh, every aspect
of the service

can be taken care of
on a smartphone,

nobody rides
the train anymore,

I keep calling it
"Rail Mail."

Should I continue?

No, I think that's--
those are all pretty...

I got it.

Think you made
your point.

Let me just tell you this.

Okay? You are

a deeply sophisticated
and talented lover,

but you're a
coldhearted person,

with an absolutely
fantastic loft,

but a penchant
for deceit.

So I'm gonna go.

You know what, but before
I do, let me say this.

God, I lost it!
God, I hate that.

Ah, it was right on
the tip of my tongue

and then it was gone!
Gone.

(frustrated grunt)

Ha!

I lost it again!

Aw.

(disgusted groan)

I can't believe
that I thought

Vera was taking me seriously.

I guess she was
just using me

for my Laird Hamilton-style
surfer's body.

Ben, she actually told you
how she does business.

She takes something in
exchange for something else

that she never intends
to deliver on.

So she took my Laird
Hamilton-style surfer's body

and she never intended
to deliver on Rail Mall?

BJ, you were right,
you were right.

I'm such an idiot.
Ben, listen,

I don't remember my
mother's birthday.

In fact, sometimes I can't
even remember her name.

(whispers):
Is it Mandy?

It's Wendy.
Wendy. Wendy.

But... here is what
I do remember.

The Office Sleep System,
the Aqua Lounger,

Bunk-Bed Pizzas, that
popcorn that kills dogs.

That's not what that was.
My point is,

these are all your ideas,

and they are all
wonderfully weird enough

to stick in my
alarmingly porous brain,

which means
they could work!

Everything that you come up
with is something that a drunk

or a mentally
unstable person

might see
late-night on TV

and think, "Yes!
I could use that!"

And maybe even
buy at least one.

And that's all it takes.

(whispers): And there
are so many alcoholics

and crazy people.

You are right!
I know.

I got to fight for Rail Mall!

(doorbell rings)

Hey, Shawn. You don't
usually ring the doorbell.

No, I do not.

KATE:
I thought you

wouldn't answer the door
if you knew it was me.

You're not wrong.

I'm sorry.

I wanted to say no, but...

What are you
doing here, Kate?

Um, I am here because...

I really, really screwed up,
and I feel awful.

Well, Tommy should've told
me how he felt about you--

everybody else knew-- and
now I feel like an idiot.

Look, Tommy's the greatest guy
in the world.

He would never do anything
to hurt you on purpose.

He's my brother's
best friend.

The thought of being
with him is just weird.

So he's gross to you?
No, he's just not my type.

Oh, so my type isn't
good enough for you?

No, your type is great.

I don't need
your approval.

Whoa.

Good work.

Listen, Tommy is

the sweetest man
in the world.

Damn right he is.

And you guys are
great together.

Like, believe me,

I've known him
my whole life, and I've never

seen him this happy
with a girl.

You guys just fit,
and trust me,

that's... really
difficult to find.

(sighs)

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

You're right.

I guess I should call him.

You don't need to.

Because I just happened
to be passing by,

and I heard your conversation.

That's not true.

We set this up.

I was gonna hide behind
the mailman, too, and...

on our test run,
my hair was clearly visible.

Sorry, Lila.

You're so cute.

You're so cute.

You're so cute.

You're cuter than me.
Come here.

(giggles)

Can I give this
to you now?

I don't want to go
to your house.

Cho, the numbers
just don't add up.

MAN (on speakerphone): Those
are just the pre-quarterlies...

Ben, I'm on a call.

Not anymore.

WOMAN:
Oh, has someone else hopped on?

MAN: I'm getting some sort of
clicking. Anyone else getting...

You're adjusting
the volume.

What? Wha...

No. That's-- You're
not doing anything.

Well, I don't...

What? Oh, and there
goes my coffee grinder.

Listen to me, Vera.

Rail Mall is
a billion-dollar juggernaut.

No, it's not.
Studies have shown

that the motion of a train
can spark consumer impulses.

Just 'cause you think it,
it doesn't mean it's a study.

The idea can be adapted locally.

Okay? Link commuters
to takeout restaurants

that are near their stops...

Wait.

You should've led with that.

What?
A smartphone-
based service

built around mass transit.

You order your dinner
as you hop on the subway,

and then someone is
there to hand it to you

right as you hop off.
It's brilliant!

Yes. Rail Mall is brilliant.

That is what I've
been trying to tell you.

Well, yeah, no, just
that aspect of it,

and, you know, we got
to change that name.

But I think with
my business savvy

and your people skills,
the sky's the limit!

Is this just a way
to keep having sex with me?

No. This is a way for me
to keep having sex with you

while we both get
very, very rich.

(both moaning)

Yes!

WOMAN (on speakerphone):
Guys, uh, we're still here.

MAN:
Quiet, Sheila. I need this.

WOMAN: Sorry, Cho.
MAN: Stop talking.

See, it's all gone,
Kate. Everything.

It's a complete blank.
Can't remember anything.

It's a wonder I remember
to feed Winnie every day.

What's a Winnie?

My dog.
You have a dog?

Yes, I do. I have
a min pin, Winnie.

What pin?
Miniature pinscher.

Winnie the...
Winnie, my min pin.

Winnie your min pin?
Yeah.

No, I did not know
that you had a min pin.

You've seen him.
I have not.

He's really thin
and a little chin.

And you call her Winnie?

Yeah, a Chiriever.

Chirieva?

A Chihuahua and
a retriever.

Those don't exist, BJ.

Yes, they do, because
I've seen it happen,

and it's horrific, but they
make really cute puppies.