Original subtitles

We are in New York City, USA.

A city amongst the largest and most modern on the globe.

A city where good and evil reign supreme and mingle incessantly.

Where death can occur at any time and where justice is forced to lead

a struggle without mercy where all shots are allowed.

Mr Commissioner, the boss came to see us.

Damn.

He said that we should not continue tracking the fugitives.

Don't whip me, Mr Commissioner.

Thank you, it was my idea.

Get out chicken! There's plenty of work to do!

-We're wasting time. -At your order Mr Commissioner.

You're making progress.

In the sake of extravagance

the production has wished to lead you to the planet Eros.

The man on the right is a pathological liar.

The one with the painted face is Elios, a retarded robot.

You'll see the small gold mission I have in store for you.

A cheesy tandem.

But they were called heroes, these swaggering earthlings.

And here is the first.

His nom-de-guerre is Bathman.

I would call him...

Forget it.

Here is our ... No...

I'll never tell hero.

Now you'll see Bathman as he was before quitting the planet Eros.

The Champion of all categories

most famous in the world.

A phenomenon

and vicious on top of that.

His name is Erotikon,

I swear.

Slightly...slighty an exhibitionist.

Nothing surprising there in our case, of course.

How he appealed to me.

You cannot know.

What grace, what class he had when Erotikon was with us.

Don't stop! Go!

I want to feel you!

Like that!

Faster!

Always faster!

Oh how good it is!

Suck me. I want to feel your lips. Like that.

All right. Keep doing it.

Like that. Like that.

Give me a blowjob too.

Like that.

All right. Turn around. I'll put it in you.

Faster!

Let loose, I want your cum dripping on me.

Yes!

Yes!

And think that during his last Eros-match

62 women fainted.

Now let's move on to his worthy companion, Klito Bell

who on Earth is called Bath-Baby.

Comic-book sub-culture.

On Eros she was something else.

Years ago I sent Erotikon and his beautiful girlfriend to Earth.

The psycho-transmitter began to take account of them.

Klito Bell was truly unbeatable.

Always in heat.

Like that!

It's in the middle of this mess that you have to

make these 2 little shits understand.

It cannot continue like this.

Look at this clown.

He thinks he's irresistible with his costume.

Now back to Klito Bell who on earth,

let us remind our distracted viewers, is known as Bath-Baby.

It hurts.

What a fall!

-My hero! -What? I surrender!

You'll end up killing me sweetie if you give me another scare like that.

Go on, take a shower. Tomorrow you have to do this ad for this brand of soap.

Okay! I'm gone my dear.

I had forgotten that soap.

-Oh shit! -What are you doing? -A thousand pardons, my dear.

You saw what happened to him.

Fortunately, nobody knows he comes from the planet Eros.

You must excuse us but in New York the delinquent swarm like rats.

No I don't want to.

I don't do these things.

It's clear these guys would love to engage her for the Choir of the Sacred Heart.

Beautiful girl.

Look what they are doing these two ... Dare I say it?

I dare.

I dare!

These two morons. How daring of me.

It is not easy to bring him back to reality.

I tease him all I can

but he doesn't respond.

-I'm coming. -Come my beautiful male.

Bath-Baby darling, I feel weird for the few days.

It came as a blow the needs of this women. It's like that.

-Oh yes? -Yes, it is.

Look at that.

I'll give you a little massage, baby?

I'm really worried, I do not understand.

I'm glad.

You know me, don't you? I live only for my mission.

Finally,

you will be happy. -Yes, I want you. I like you.

The monitor?

No, it must be the intercom.

Someone's in danger. We must intervene.

It's not true! He was ready to do it!

Return home. You're wasting your talent there.

While these talkers

are working to save the girl,

at least they think so,

she, however, who knows how long she has waited for this moment.

Go! Fuck me!

Bravo! Bravo!

I finally lost my virginity.

Give me your juice like that!

Yes!

Come on, let's go!

-A second. -Open! Do you want to open?

-I'm coming. -Damn.

Let's go.

Hurry up, move up, hurry up!

-What's the problem now? -Start it up! -Wait a second!

Shit, a failure.

I can't wait.

What a shame.

On his way for a new mission.

Let me go!

Stop moving! Don't move. We have to turn you into a shish-kebab.

Hold her the two of you.

Did you understand? Hold her tight!

Here I am. Be on your guard baby.

Come to daddy, come on.

That's for you. And that for the second.

Take this!

Ah, I'm really pleased with myself ...

What, again! Enough!

But we're two superheroes.

-She doesn't know us! -No

I'm Bath-Baby and he's BathMan.

-She doesn't know us! -I know only Super-Sex.

Nobody should say that name. You understand?

I don't give a damn. I would have enjoyed it a second time.

And you're not even rapists. Only delinquents.

Us delinquents?

They have disappeared. Where are they?

Now get out there

and bring them to reason.

Do not come back until you have reduced them to the state of children.

No strike or vacation.

I'm watching you.

And no women!

Oh, I forgot... There's no need to tell you that again.

And look at this picture. What an incredible day.

All our adventures. Look.

-Let me see this one. -A second.

This is the most beautiful.

We were at the police station.

It's amazing.

It's really amazing.

No, not that one. This one is better.

Come on, you're going to try on my costume. You deserve it.

Yes.

Go Elios, go and stupefy the enemy.

You know you look great?

You know you have a beautiful body?

-Really, you like it? - I like it.

Approach.

Your breasts are beautiful, you know?

I want to lick your little trail.

You make me crazy.

Your turn now.

I want to feel your tongue.

Come on.

Put your finger inside.

He became a real fathead, the poor guy.

So?

He wakes up?

To work!

Yes President, I am ready.

-Idiot. -What, what? -Idiot.

Hi Erotikon.

What an absurd dream.

How can it be?

Maybe there's nobody.

I must be drunk.

My dream has disappeared.

You're not drunk and you're not dreaming Mr Vitamin.

Do not be too hasty.

-But who are you? -You're so silly. I'll explain everything.

Ah, you're still here. Wait a minute. You'll see the black eye I'm gonna give you.

I'll get up and I'll fix you.

You understand?

But where is he? Are you here?

He disappeared.

Oh mama mia!

Ace,

another ace.

What a cuckold's luck!

-And another ace. -Again, again!

How do we get to the police station? Saying hello?

For us it is easy. We send the Penguin to take tea with the Commissioner's wife.

And you think this is easy?

They will shit their pants with fear. How do I convince them?

It sure won't be easy for you to lure him. You're gay like a seal.

Some scoop.

More reason to gut them.

You're right. After that these little devils will finally shut up.

We can kill two birds with one stone. It suits me.

I'd be very happy, it suits me too.

It suits you? Then we go.

That's quite zealous from you.

This is not true. This is my strategy.

?

Ah, it's you! You'll see.

Action!

No, no, no!

-Take me! -Baby, it's me!

Come on, do not stop.

Give it to her. Get her pregnant.

Come on!

Put your whole super-dick in me.

Hurry!

Do not make me languish.

Yes!

At last!

The world is watching us, guys,

and he will laugh at us if we screw up.

I have a family, a future. You really want to put

your commissioner in a bad spot. You must find and destroy,

disintegrate.

Just go and fuck yourself! Understood?

Here they come, here they are, theycoming, we'll hide.

The other.

He doesn't have it.

I write "Dear" and maybe that's enough. I certainly won't be arrested for indecency.

Dear President ... Yes, like that.

What a joke! Remove your mask. Even secretaries take me for a jerk!

Oh, I'm sorry!

You always react like this when a pretty lady visits you.

Lay down your arms asshole.

Come here.

You're cuming in your pants, huh?

Come in, approach.

What a handsome guy!

Do not kill me. I've done nothing. I'm not the commissioner.

We offer you peace of senses and you protest?

-I do not protest. -Come here handsome!

Don't hurt me!

-Get the syringe. -At once.

This is just an experiment.

I hope it works. Ten have already died.

You'll see. You're going to have fun.

Come on, do not scream. Stay calm.

It seems a little too full.

I'm ready.

Do not torture me. I'm a virgin.

Don't move. It will do you a lot of good.

Well, it's done.

Holy cow!

I still took a wrong turn!

Love, let me see. What is it?

I ruined my eye.

And it hurts. OK!

Duty first and hail America! Oh, what a pain...

Stop!

The commissioner is in trouble!

Come on.

Let's have sex.

Let's arouse this pig commissionner.

Yes.

Yes, like that.

It looks like Pussycat is behind this.

Oh damn! What a fathead! Fortunately nobody was watching me.

Let's change position.

Come on! Quick!

I want to feel what our friend is capable of.

You lick good, keep on, keep on...

Pleasure makes me crazy.

I'm going to cum.

My pussy was in need. I want the cock of the pig Commissioner.

They knocked them out for good.

Let's go.

-It's your turn. -What emotion.

It's so simple.

I always wanted to be a whore.

Only a bit of Gymnastics.

I feel well like that.

On behalf of the United States nobody moves.

-It's the end for you. -Here is America!

Can I help you, darling?

Hello! I can make you very happy.

I only cost $3.50.

Mr Commissioner? But what are you doing?

-Nothing harmful. -Oh, God!

Who is this guy?

Dear friend,

Bathman, in the name of Poker you are lost.

It'll be your party. What do you say?

-But then you were all in the conspiracy! -I would say a scam ...

Meanwhile Bath-Baby walks through the green American prairies.

The poor. We are all here watching her.

What bad luck. Poor woman.

I'm going to ask for a divorce.

If it continues I might explode.

Looks like this guy has taken a vow of chastity.

I wonder why he became like this.

-Hey, Klito Bell -Who is this guy?

So Bathman was right.

On the planet Eros your name was Klito Bell, you know?

You wanna, huh? Well, I understand you.

Planet Eros? Klito Bell? What are you talking about?

Look on the car.

On the planet Eros you were a great lover. A Championess.

-Explain yourself better. -Another time.

When?

When I have made this fagot of Erotikon uderstand.

-Who is this? -Bathman, of course.

Damn, it's late. I have to go. Meanwhile eroticize yourself.

-Fool, stop. Where are you going? -He was so cute.

Where has he gone?

I have one of those cravings.

I can't stand it anymore.

Watch out for the car. It's fragile. What are you doing?

I could give you a quickie.

But I have to control the robot.

-Now I'm gonna give you a little surprise. -What does that mean?

Calm. Calm down or it won't be so good.

Go on. Throw him out the window.

No.

Let's make a truce in agreement with the law of the United States.

Then a second of silence. A thought for

the penguin who went to take tea with the wife of the Commissioner.

Here is a government representative.

Show them what you have learned.

Go on.

-Immediately. -What are you doing?

What do you want?

What are you doing?

Darling, darling, you look so handsome.

You look like an actor whose name I have on the tip of the tongue.

Come on, help me, don't be so shy.

Who knows what lies beneath the mask?

Something probably wonderful.

I'm certain about that.

The forbidden dream of every American.

I think I'm falling in love.

-Would you violate me? -Damned!

Tell me the truth? You drugged him?

-No, a simple experiment to show you how you will become. -Me?

Me, Bathman? I'm going to crush all of you.

You, take this!

And you, take that!

And now the two of us!

Nobody moves!

Did you understand, eh?

Bathman is always victorious.

Bath-Baby! Bath-Baby!

Where are you now?

Immediately rush to the Commissioner's wife. They are raping her.

Right now? What a drag.

This cucumber seems very handy.

Like that!

Up to the end!

Up to the end!

Ah, if I could find a man hung like that!

Let's enter through the window.

Yes, but the door is open.

In the script it is written through the window. Let's go.

Let's go then.

-Open it. -Immediately boss.

That's it.

Help me up.

Be careful, gently!

You're hurting me, idiots! Gently!

Do not make noise.

Come on. Follow me.

Hello, Mrs.

What does this mean?

Do not be troubled. We're here to serve you.

The stamina that I do not have, my men do.

You'll end up like Sharon Tate, Madam cop.

Please, I'm the commissioner's wife. And you, who are you?

Get nearer.

Get near me my darlings.

Oh, they are cute.

You know, we won't find the way to punish her!

If you don't fuck her, she suffers even more.

Standard error of stage direction.

Let's try a little. Undress her.

Hurry up guys, undress the Lady!

You're too kind.

Like that!

Like that!

Aproach your engine.

And you, don't stay without doing anything. Caress my pussy.

Like that!

Like that!

And now guys, put your tool in her 2 holes!

Hurt her!

Go! Shower me!

What are you doing?

Just when I started to enjoy myself.

-Where'll I find other men like that? -Shut up. You're really crazy. Shut up!

You should be ashamed. You're really a cunt.

I'll give you a lesson.

Let me go!

Stop it!

I trusted you.

I've had a great disappointment in return.

This is your first and your last job.

Have you understood you have to move yourself?

Otherwise I will tear you apart with buckets full of shit.

And doing your antics is useless.

And now get back to work. Subversive.

I'll blow your brain.

But it is the air of this damn planet that makes me sleep.

The drinks, the sun, it's not my fault. You understand?

I don't give a shit.

While you rest and you amuse yourself the others are running away.

I'll give you a few days to put everything in order.

-And no more drinks! -Oh, fuck you!

Today nobody wants to work.

You are the girl rescued by the two jokers.

You will invite Bathman & Bath-Baby to a party in their honor.

Obey. You are in my power.

Come on, leave me alone.

I want you.

But stop it, leave me alone.

Listen to me guys. Here are Bathman and Bath-Baby.

What is that thing?

It's just garlands, come on!

Calm down. That's it.

An autograph, boys?

He is my boyfriend.

Don't throw it. It's not polite.

Boy, I told you that this autograph must not be thrown. That clear?

I want to fuck you.

-Hurry, there's Bathman and Bath-Baby! -Hey, come here, you!

-Do not write. Or he will throw it again. -I don't care what he's doing.

He did it anyway.

If you continue you will have a cramp.

Advertising is the soul of business.

I'm coming! I'm coming!

I don't want. I don't want.

Please don't be so stubborn.

Stop doing that.

He's still after us, this guy?

Where are they? They have all disappeared. Ah, it's a trick!

Erotikon, now I gotta talk to you. You can not escape. You must do what I tell you.

Oh yeah? Wait!

I'll fix you for good. Do not ever call me Erotikon. Never. Now it's the two of us.

But this one disappears all the time!

He disappeared, he disappeared.

That's it. It's the end. I don't want to do Bathman anymore.

Erotikon!

-That's him. -Yep.

I'm fed up playing hide and seek. Sit down and let's talk.

What is he doing? At first he leaves and then he gets mad.

It's alright.

-But where are the others? -And the two masked clowns?

You again!

You're part of the vice squad?

Bad vices you mean? Go. Sit down, too.

No more war. Only love.

Watch this little trick.

That's a nice bunch of bad guys.

They come back all the time these ones.

I have not yet finished.

Hi Bathman!

Hi Bathman!

Hi idiot!

But why...

Hi Bathman!

Hi!

It is a true family reunion!

What does that mean?

-What do you want? -I have everyone to cease hostilities.

I propose a truce.

All naked.

But we're really all naked!

Our clothes have vanished.

It's crazy!

?

?

?

?

?

?

Apparently Elios

has succeeding in returning this moron Erotikon back to normal.

Hopefully in the future there will be no more bullshit.

timings : meatisgood translation : aloysius70 + Senor Zitos CINEMAGGEDON