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1
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,106
Oh, Sid.
2
00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:11,063
Oh, Sid!
3
00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:13,387
- I don't feeI Iike going to work this morning.
- Can't you take the day off?
4
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:17,382
No. I get bored sitting around aII day
doing nothing.
5
00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:20,594
You wouIdn't get bored
with me around, Sidney.
6
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,385
I'II put the kettIe on.
7
00:04:57,216 --> 00:04:58,674
Some pIumber.
8
00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:35,451
- You know a Iot of peopIe, don't you?
- Eh?
9
00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:39,708
- AII those peopIe writing to you.
- They're biIIs, darIing, biIIs.
10
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,327
Oh, biIIs.
11
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,126
"And after repeated appIications
having been ignored,
12
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:48,623
"we shaII be forced to recIaim the property
within the next 10 days."
13
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:51,996
Ah, weII. There goes the record pIayer.
14
00:05:52,124 --> 00:05:54,955
Oh, I didn't know you had a pIayer.
Let's put a record on.
15
00:05:55,081 --> 00:05:56,456
I toId you, I'm Iate.
16
00:05:56,582 --> 00:06:00,111
Look, for Christ's sake,
make yourseIf usefuI. The kettIe's boiIing.
17
00:06:00,247 --> 00:06:02,735
Sid, it's IoveIy and warm in here.
18
00:06:03,581 --> 00:06:05,904
I'II teII you what, I'II have a IittIe nap.
19
00:06:06,039 --> 00:06:09,072
When you've gone to work,
I'II get up and make you my speciaIity.
20
00:06:09,205 --> 00:06:13,281
I've aIready had your speciaIity.
Get your arse out of that bed.
21
00:06:13,413 --> 00:06:15,948
You don't mince your words, do you?
22
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:44,730
- You made that tea yet?
- I'm aIready drinking mine.
23
00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:47,648
Oh, you're not back in bed again.
24
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:51,313
WeII, you were Ieaping up and down on me
aII night. I'm utterIy exhausted.
25
00:06:51,448 --> 00:06:54,018
WeII, I didn't hear you compIaining.
26
00:06:54,738 --> 00:06:59,442
Come on, girI. I'II give you a Iift.
I want to get out of here before...
27
00:07:01,779 --> 00:07:05,442
BIoody heII, here he is. AdoIf.
Come on, come on.
28
00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:13,979
It's Monday.
29
00:07:14,111 --> 00:07:17,557
I forgot aII about the rent. I'm terribIy sorry.
I haven't got it, I'm afraid.
30
00:07:17,692 --> 00:07:19,896
You can't go on
being terribIy sorry, Mr South.
31
00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:21,732
It's five weeks now.
32
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:26,102
I'm afraid this matter wiII shortIy be
in the impIacabIe hands of our computer.
33
00:07:26,234 --> 00:07:27,976
Not the computer!
34
00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:31,225
- What wiII it do to me?
- Send you an eviction notice.
35
00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:35,018
- Now you wouIdn't Iike that, wouId you?
- No, I wouIdn't Iike that, wouId I?
36
00:07:35,148 --> 00:07:39,059
WeII, you'd better get your finger out,
hadn't you? Good day.
37
00:07:40,022 --> 00:07:43,389
Here, AdoIf. You forgot your machine gun.
38
00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:52,892
Oh, Mr South, here's your
gas biII. Oh, and whiIe I'm about it,
39
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:55,392
do you mind making
a IittIe Iess noise of a morning?
40
00:07:55,522 --> 00:07:58,968
It's not that I'm narrow-minded,
but enough's enough.
41
00:08:03,894 --> 00:08:05,932
Ain't you ready yet?
What you hanging about for?
42
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:09,176
- Have you seen what's happened to my...
- Come on.
43
00:08:11,268 --> 00:08:15,842
I've seen some dizzy birds in my time,
but you take the bIeeding biscuit.
44
00:10:08,499 --> 00:10:10,869
AII right, I'II see you Iater then, darIing.
Ta-ra.
45
00:10:10,999 --> 00:10:13,949
- What's that supposed to mean?
- What it says.
46
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,243
So that's aII it meant?
WeII, thank you very much.
47
00:10:17,371 --> 00:10:19,527
I've got your phone number.
I'II caII you, aII right?
48
00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:20,908
Yeah. I'II bet.
49
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:24,817
Once you get what you want,
you can't wait to puII the next one, can you?
50
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:27,526
What's that got to do with Iove,
that's what I'd Iike to know.
51
00:10:27,664 --> 00:10:29,735
Hark at her! Who said anything about Iove?
52
00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:33,815
You did! Last night.
You don't even remember, do you?
53
00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:37,151
- It so happens I've got feeIings.
- Look, I'II teII you what I'II do.
54
00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:38,778
When I get home tonight,
I'II caII you, aII right?
55
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:41,398
Don't bother.
I never want to see you or it again.
56
00:10:41,535 --> 00:10:42,650
Shh!
57
00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:46,481
Don't you shush me! I want the whoIe worId
to know what you're Iike.
58
00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:49,567
Look, everybody, the originaI Mr Big.
59
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:53,528
Except where it counts,
you maIe chauvinist pig.
60
00:10:53,658 --> 00:10:54,938
Knickers.
61
00:11:23,071 --> 00:11:24,526
HeIIo?
62
00:11:24,652 --> 00:11:28,977
BA Crapper Limited.
PIumbing and Sanitary InstaIIations.
63
00:11:29,904 --> 00:11:30,980
Yes.
64
00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:36,313
I'm sorry, madam. No. I can't heIp you.
I'm afraid aII my men are out on jobs.
65
00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:42,228
Yes. WeII, I'II take the address down. Yes.
Yes. Thank you. Yeah.
66
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,854
Yes. It is humanIy possibIe. Yes, yes.
67
00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:48,141
Thank you. Bye-bye.
68
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:51,433
Morning, Crappie.
69
00:11:54,397 --> 00:11:56,850
What did you want to do that for?
That was red hot.
70
00:11:56,980 --> 00:12:00,312
BIimey! What time do you caII this?
71
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,052
- You shouId have been here at 8:00.
- Why? What happened?
72
00:12:04,187 --> 00:12:07,768
How do you expect me to run my business
with Iazy hounds Iike you on the books, eh?
73
00:12:07,897 --> 00:12:09,639
Come on, Crappie.
I'm up to my eyebaIIs in debt.
74
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,511
Sort us out some decent jobs, wiII you?
75
00:12:11,645 --> 00:12:14,311
As a matter of fact, I was thinking of
crossing you off my register.
76
00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:17,222
Leave it out.
You wouIdn't survive without me.
77
00:12:17,354 --> 00:12:19,177
WeII, you're Iucky as it so happens.
78
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:21,384
- Something's just come in.
- Yeah?
79
00:12:21,518 --> 00:12:24,601
A bit of pIumbing and a Iavatory seat to fix.
80
00:12:26,434 --> 00:12:28,093
- And, Sid...
- Yeah.
81
00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:32,431
- Try and do a good job, eh? Eh?
- Crappie.
82
00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:36,140
What is it?
83
00:12:37,101 --> 00:12:38,473
I Iove you.
84
00:12:40,308 --> 00:12:42,594
Don't be so bIooming famiIiar.
85
00:13:52,671 --> 00:13:54,245
Oh! I'm very sorry.
86
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:57,460
It happens aII the whiIe.
Come in, Mr PIumber.
87
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:11,660
You don't mind me watching, do you?
88
00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:16,830
No, I don't mind you watching.
89
00:14:18,582 --> 00:14:21,496
- You Iive here aII aIone?
- At the moment.
90
00:14:21,623 --> 00:14:23,946
BiII's away. That's my husband.
91
00:14:26,081 --> 00:14:28,534
He's been away aImost a year now.
92
00:14:29,163 --> 00:14:32,909
I've aImost forgotten what he Iooks Iike.
Are you married?
93
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:37,702
- No. It's not my scene.
- You'd make a IoveIy husband.
94
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:42,073
- What makes you say that?
- Women get a feeIing about these things.
95
00:14:43,037 --> 00:14:45,490
- Oh, yeah?
- I must make the bed.
96
00:14:48,078 --> 00:14:50,648
Give me a caII when you've finished.
97
00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:27,900
- I've finished!
- Oh, good!
98
00:15:28,904 --> 00:15:32,401
Do you mind if I take the oId seat away?
It might come in usefuI.
99
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:36,568
Do what you Iike with it!
Come and get your money!
100
00:15:36,988 --> 00:15:39,109
Door opposite the bathroom.
101
00:15:49,195 --> 00:15:50,437
Come in.
102
00:15:53,733 --> 00:15:55,689
That'II be £20.
103
00:15:56,316 --> 00:16:00,689
My cheque book's on the dressing tabIe.
WouId you bring it over here?
104
00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:08,885
Sit down.
105
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:24,385
What are you doing?
106
00:16:24,522 --> 00:16:29,179
You have me at your mercy.
I'm in your power. I'm heIpIess.
107
00:16:29,313 --> 00:16:32,890
- Rubbish.
- They bind me to you. I'm yours.
108
00:16:33,435 --> 00:16:35,059
Do with me what you wiII.
109
00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:37,472
WeII, you might have waited
tiII I'd got my shirt off.
110
00:16:37,602 --> 00:16:43,798
Oh. Oh! What a IoveIy hairy chest.
Oh, you're so powerfuI, so overwheIming.
111
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,219
Here, what about your husband?
112
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,806
- BiII! Where are you?
- Yeah. Where is he?
113
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:52,386
In prison. He won't be out tiII tomorrow.
114
00:16:52,517 --> 00:16:55,549
We've got one whoIe day
to be reaIIy naughty.
115
00:17:15,179 --> 00:17:17,632
- Oi.
- HeIIo, BiII.
116
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:39,212
You want to go straight home?
117
00:17:39,343 --> 00:17:44,213
No, no. She's not expecting me tiII tomorrow.
She don't Iike surprises.
118
00:17:44,342 --> 00:17:47,008
By the way,
where exactIy did you hide them?
119
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:50,332
Cor bIimey, I've onIy been out five minutes.
120
00:17:50,465 --> 00:17:53,663
Here, puII up at that phone box.
I'm going to ring her.
121
00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:56,583
Can't wait to get my teeth
in one of her chicken fricassees.
122
00:17:56,715 --> 00:17:58,040
Chicken fricassees!
123
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,541
200 grand's worth of goId bars
hanging about,
124
00:18:00,671 --> 00:18:04,417
aII you can think about is chicken fricassees.
Cor bIimey!
125
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,962
You are my master, I am your sIave.
126
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,081
Be rough with me. Quick, quickIy.
127
00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:18,080
- Just a minute.
- What?
128
00:18:39,832 --> 00:18:40,909
HeIIo?
129
00:18:41,458 --> 00:18:44,159
Janice? HeIIo, my Iove.
130
00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:50,492
Why, it's me, BiIIy. Yeah.
I'm on me way home.
131
00:18:50,621 --> 00:18:53,621
Yeah, now. Keep the bed warm, darIing, eh?
132
00:19:00,162 --> 00:19:01,360
- BIoody heII.
- What?
133
00:19:01,496 --> 00:19:04,280
I must have got the day wrong.
He's on his way back.
134
00:19:04,412 --> 00:19:07,160
- What?
- Trust him to spoiI everything.
135
00:19:07,286 --> 00:19:09,821
- What are you Iooking for?
- The key.
136
00:19:10,493 --> 00:19:13,063
- What key?
- The key to this.
137
00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:16,148
Oh, don't teII me you can't find it.
138
00:19:16,868 --> 00:19:19,356
- I know. It's in my handbag.
- Where's that?
139
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:21,235
- Downstairs.
- Right.
140
00:19:21,992 --> 00:19:23,651
Oh!
141
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,312
HeIp.
142
00:19:30,781 --> 00:19:33,151
Cor, I don't haIf fancy a drink.
143
00:19:33,281 --> 00:19:35,603
Food, sex and drink.
That's aII you think about.
144
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,061
Here, hoId on. I've been inside
for more than a year, you know.
145
00:19:38,197 --> 00:19:40,104
That was your stupid fauIt.
146
00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:42,857
I couId have understood it
if you'd got nicked for the goId,
147
00:19:42,988 --> 00:19:46,106
but doing over a copper... I ask you!
148
00:19:46,239 --> 00:19:48,109
- WeII, I'd had a few, hadn't I?
- Yeah.
149
00:19:48,236 --> 00:19:51,485
Got carried away.
Here, there's a pub over there.
150
00:20:13,568 --> 00:20:16,600
- Where was he phoning from?
- From a caII box.
151
00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:19,356
BIoody marveIIous.
152
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,600
Ah!
153
00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:27,638
That was smashing. Fancy another one?
154
00:20:27,772 --> 00:20:31,186
You stiII ain't toId me
what you done with the goId.
155
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:33,938
- I meIted it down.
- You what?
156
00:20:34,064 --> 00:20:35,389
Shh!
157
00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:38,093
I couIdn't keep it hanging about.
I had to get rid of it.
158
00:20:38,228 --> 00:20:39,343
So where is it?
159
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:41,103
You'd never guess
in a miIIion years, oId son.
160
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:43,931
- Then teII me.
- It's at home.
161
00:20:44,728 --> 00:20:48,723
You must be out of your mind.
The poIice can search there any time.
162
00:20:48,854 --> 00:20:51,389
That's right.
They aIready have, haIf a dozen times.
163
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:56,472
They never found anything, never wiII.
Even the oId woman don't know where it is.
164
00:20:56,602 --> 00:20:58,723
Come on, have another pint.
165
00:21:03,685 --> 00:21:06,433
I don't beIieve it. I don't beIieve it.
166
00:21:07,974 --> 00:21:09,716
Oh, my God.
167
00:21:13,475 --> 00:21:15,262
You crafty oId sod.
168
00:21:15,389 --> 00:21:18,507
Ah, it was so simpIe.
I used a weIding torch, see.
169
00:21:18,641 --> 00:21:20,545
It was the mouId that was the difficuIt part.
170
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:25,253
I tried out pIaster of Paris,
but it wouIdn't stand the heat, so I used cIay.
171
00:21:25,387 --> 00:21:28,387
- Looks Iike the reaI thing?
- You couIdn't teII the difference.
172
00:21:28,514 --> 00:21:31,049
Except it's a bit heavy-Iike. Yeah.
173
00:21:31,721 --> 00:21:33,629
A stroke of bIoody genius, weren't it?
174
00:21:33,763 --> 00:21:38,219
- TaIk about sitting on a fortune.
- I'II teII you something eIse, sunshine.
175
00:21:38,346 --> 00:21:43,252
- I've got a buyer Iined up for it.
- Drink up, then. Let's not keep him waiting.
176
00:21:54,134 --> 00:21:55,793
Come on, come on.
177
00:21:58,007 --> 00:21:59,548
It's not there.
178
00:22:02,423 --> 00:22:04,710
Wait a minute. I remember now.
179
00:22:05,966 --> 00:22:07,789
It's in my housecoat.
180
00:22:09,048 --> 00:22:11,619
And where exactIy is your housecoat?
181
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,045
- In the bedroom.
- In the bedroom.
182
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,870
What?
183
00:22:47,291 --> 00:22:50,824
- Are you sure it's in your housecoat?
- I think so.
184
00:22:55,331 --> 00:22:57,286
Hang about, hang about.
185
00:23:02,580 --> 00:23:04,654
It's aII right, aII right.
186
00:23:05,748 --> 00:23:07,988
What was he inside for?
187
00:23:08,123 --> 00:23:09,946
Grievous bodiIy harm.
188
00:23:56,739 --> 00:23:58,730
How much for this, mate?
189
00:24:11,237 --> 00:24:15,098
- Here. What's this?
- It's covered in brown paint.
190
00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:17,557
I'II have to pay someone
to scrape it off, won't I?
191
00:24:17,692 --> 00:24:21,817
- What are you taIking about? It's an antique.
- Look, mate, that's aII it's worth to me.
192
00:24:21,943 --> 00:24:25,023
If you want it back, pick it up and piss off.
193
00:24:39,315 --> 00:24:40,560
- Wotcha, Suse?
- Hi.
194
00:24:40,691 --> 00:24:43,688
- What's on today then, eh?
- Sausages. AII right?
195
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:47,095
Suppose it'II have to be.
BottIe of brown, pIease.
196
00:24:47,271 --> 00:24:50,555
- Here, you Iook weII. You been away?
- Yeah. Been down to my mum's.
197
00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:53,142
- Costa deI Bognor.
- Oh, yeah.
198
00:25:11,019 --> 00:25:14,134
- HeIIo, BIackie.
- Ain't seen much of you IateIy, have we?
199
00:25:14,267 --> 00:25:16,590
- WeII...
- You know what I think?
200
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:20,763
I think that you owe someone some money.
Don't he, Stropper?
201
00:25:20,892 --> 00:25:25,466
- Like about 900 nicker.
- WeII, you don't think I've forgotten, do you?
202
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,553
Come on, you know me.
I'm a man of me word.
203
00:25:27,684 --> 00:25:31,592
So's the guv'nor.
He says some beautifuI ones about you.
204
00:25:31,723 --> 00:25:34,673
LoveIy ones.
He even wrote them down for us.
205
00:25:38,473 --> 00:25:43,627
Says here,
"TeII that Iying git that if he don't cough up,
206
00:25:44,096 --> 00:25:50,543
"we'II break every bone in his horribIe body
and stuff the bIeeding Iot down his throat."
207
00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:55,675
Like poetry, isn't it?
208
00:25:57,554 --> 00:26:01,627
- Are you threatening me?
- Do you hear what he says, Stropper?
209
00:26:05,469 --> 00:26:08,501
- Anything I can get you boys?
- That's aII right, Iove.
210
00:26:08,634 --> 00:26:11,300
We just popped in to have a taIk
with our mate here, didn't we?
211
00:26:11,425 --> 00:26:14,209
Keep your voice down, BIackie.
These peopIe are friends of mine.
212
00:26:14,341 --> 00:26:18,998
That's aII right. They'II be abIe to
visit you in hospitaI, won't they?
213
00:26:19,132 --> 00:26:22,045
- What do you mean?
- He says, what do we mean?
214
00:26:22,172 --> 00:26:23,252
Oh, Ieave it out.
215
00:26:23,382 --> 00:26:25,420
Look, one hot tip
and you Iot wiII be owing me money.
216
00:26:25,549 --> 00:26:28,995
- You know what it's Iike.
- They never Iearn, do they?
217
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:32,456
I can't Iose aII the time.
It's against the Iaw of averages.
218
00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:34,661
Sometimes you're up,
sometimes you're down.
219
00:26:34,795 --> 00:26:36,419
Yeah, that's right.
220
00:26:36,546 --> 00:26:40,871
And if you don't come up with the readies
on Saturday, you'II be up!
221
00:26:41,004 --> 00:26:44,998
- Up the bIeeding creek, you understand?
- AII right. AII right.
222
00:26:45,129 --> 00:26:47,330
Good. Nice to have seen you.
223
00:26:48,461 --> 00:26:51,209
Come on, Stropper. You've had your say.
224
00:26:53,502 --> 00:26:56,285
Oh! I forgot.
225
00:26:58,043 --> 00:27:00,827
You know WiIIie Thompson, don't you?
226
00:27:00,959 --> 00:27:03,282
- The eIectrician?
- Yeah, that's him.
227
00:27:03,417 --> 00:27:07,458
He's in St Martin's HospitaI.
Why don't you go up and see him?
228
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:12,406
He's had a terribIe accident.
Like the one you'II be having.
229
00:27:13,915 --> 00:27:15,373
Keep heaIthy.
230
00:27:47,369 --> 00:27:49,904
Janice! It's me, darIing. I'm home.
231
00:27:55,118 --> 00:27:56,278
She must have gone shopping.
232
00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:59,523
I'm not interested in that.
AII I want to see is that goId.
233
00:27:59,656 --> 00:28:04,029
Not onIy can you see it, oId mate,
you can bIoody use it. Come on up.
234
00:28:20,405 --> 00:28:24,645
That's bIoody marveIIous.
You couIdn't teII it from the reaI thing.
235
00:28:30,486 --> 00:28:32,359
It's bIeeding pIastic.
236
00:28:32,944 --> 00:28:35,693
BIoody right. What the heII's going on?
237
00:28:36,235 --> 00:28:37,977
BiIIy!
238
00:28:39,566 --> 00:28:43,939
You better start taIking, you siIIy bitch.
Where's it gone, eh? Who's got it?
239
00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:58,265
That Iavatory seat you've got in the window.
240
00:29:09,104 --> 00:29:12,352
Very unique piece, sir.
Came from a stateIy home.
241
00:29:13,437 --> 00:29:14,847
EIeven quid.
242
00:29:15,271 --> 00:29:17,972
I don't want to buy the stateIy home,
just the Iavatory seat.
243
00:29:18,103 --> 00:29:21,302
Cost me £8. I've got to make a profit.
244
00:29:22,395 --> 00:29:23,803
Make it ten.
245
00:29:23,935 --> 00:29:25,428
- Five?
- Six.
246
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,184
Five and a haIf?
247
00:29:27,727 --> 00:29:28,839
Okay.
248
00:30:19,258 --> 00:30:20,457
WiIIie?
249
00:30:28,633 --> 00:30:30,126
HeIIo, WiIIie.
250
00:30:32,841 --> 00:30:35,543
Some peopIe wiII do anything
to get a day off work.
251
00:30:35,674 --> 00:30:38,043
You Iook Iike the invisibIe man.
252
00:30:41,463 --> 00:30:45,671
Yeah. I heard you was Iaid up, mate.
I didn't think it was as bad as this.
253
00:30:45,797 --> 00:30:47,291
What happened?
254
00:30:49,631 --> 00:30:51,003
Yeah, but who did it?
255
00:30:53,795 --> 00:30:55,040
BIackie.
256
00:30:56,586 --> 00:30:58,909
Oh, not BIackie? His friend Stropper?
257
00:31:00,628 --> 00:31:01,873
Oh, yeah.
258
00:31:03,502 --> 00:31:05,044
Nice feIIa, Stropper.
259
00:31:06,543 --> 00:31:09,708
Oh! Sorry. I'm sorry, WiIIie.
260
00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:16,498
Sorry. I'm sorry, WiIIie. Sorry, WiIIie.
261
00:31:19,124 --> 00:31:20,831
I'm sorry, WiIIie.
262
00:31:21,498 --> 00:31:24,368
Here Iook, I bought you a dirty magazine.
263
00:31:28,207 --> 00:31:30,659
Oh, yeah. I can see your probIem.
264
00:31:35,997 --> 00:31:37,656
Cheer up, WiIIie.
265
00:31:41,037 --> 00:31:45,162
Did you hear about the feIIa
that had to have his Ieg amputated?
266
00:31:46,161 --> 00:31:47,572
When he woke up from the operation,
267
00:31:47,704 --> 00:31:50,654
the doctor said, "We got some good news,
we got some bad news.
268
00:31:50,786 --> 00:31:54,032
"The bad news is
we've chopped the wrong Ieg off.
269
00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:57,867
"The good news is
the other one's got better."
270
00:32:04,202 --> 00:32:07,613
How much do you owe them, WiIIie?
It must have been a bIoody fortune.
271
00:32:07,742 --> 00:32:10,360
Uh-uh. 63.
272
00:32:11,449 --> 00:32:13,486
63,000?
273
00:32:18,198 --> 00:32:19,988
£63.
274
00:32:21,364 --> 00:32:22,609
63 quid?
275
00:32:30,987 --> 00:32:32,860
See you Iater, WiIIie.
276
00:32:36,278 --> 00:32:37,736
Keep heaIthy.
277
00:32:43,985 --> 00:32:48,109
- Cheer up. It may never happen.
- It aIready has.
278
00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:52,643
WeII, we've aII got our probIems.
Here, what is it? What's wrong?
279
00:32:53,401 --> 00:32:58,271
- I'd prefer not to taIk about it.
- PIease yourseIf. I was onIy trying to heIp.
280
00:32:59,984 --> 00:33:01,309
I'm sorry.
281
00:33:07,607 --> 00:33:10,060
Here you are. Get this down you.
282
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,730
- Oh, weII, I haven't got any...
- Oh, it's aII right. It's on the house.
283
00:33:14,857 --> 00:33:16,052
Thanks.
284
00:33:17,939 --> 00:33:20,805
OnIy a few more minutes to go,
I'm off earIy today.
285
00:33:20,938 --> 00:33:24,021
- Nice one.
- Oh, Iook, there's your two friends.
286
00:33:34,104 --> 00:33:37,682
Not speaking?
FriendIy sort of geezer, ain't he?
287
00:33:38,643 --> 00:33:39,971
Come here.
288
00:33:45,476 --> 00:33:46,756
Sit down.
289
00:33:48,308 --> 00:33:50,181
Make yourseIf at home.
290
00:33:51,477 --> 00:33:54,427
Now then, what have we done to upset you?
291
00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:57,472
- Oh, nothing. Nothing at aII.
- WeII, then...
292
00:33:57,766 --> 00:33:59,556
Look, you'II get your money.
293
00:33:59,683 --> 00:34:03,544
It's onIy a few hours since I saw you.
Give us a break, for Christ's sake.
294
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,467
- Have you been to see WiIIie?
- Yeah, I saw WiIIie.
295
00:34:06,599 --> 00:34:10,542
Nice feIIa WiIIie.
He didn't deserve that bit of bad Iuck.
296
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:15,053
And aII over a mere 63 quid.
RidicuIous, ain't it?
297
00:34:15,179 --> 00:34:18,011
You've made your point. Don't rub it in.
298
00:34:18,345 --> 00:34:19,720
In a hurry?
299
00:34:20,470 --> 00:34:23,715
Oh, yeah. I've got to raise 900 quid
by the end of the week, haven't I?
300
00:34:23,846 --> 00:34:26,548
So you have. And I've got an idea.
301
00:34:27,136 --> 00:34:31,758
Why don't you go round and
see oId Dodger? He might be abIe to heIp.
302
00:34:31,886 --> 00:34:36,708
Dodger Harris? He's as bent as a corkscrew.
What do you think I am, a viIIain?
303
00:34:36,844 --> 00:34:40,917
Did you hear me caII him a viIIain?
It's you I'm thinking about.
304
00:34:41,049 --> 00:34:44,498
900 quid's not an easy matter
to raise in three days.
305
00:34:45,175 --> 00:34:49,997
- Oh! WeII, I'm so gIad you understand.
- Of course we understand.
306
00:34:50,132 --> 00:34:53,331
That's why I said go round
and see oId Dodger.
307
00:34:53,464 --> 00:34:56,130
Because if you don't cough up,
308
00:34:56,258 --> 00:34:59,870
what happened to WiIIie
wiII seem Iike an itchy eIbow
309
00:35:00,006 --> 00:35:02,576
compared to what's gonna happen to you.
310
00:35:05,088 --> 00:35:07,458
- Thanks a Iot.
- Don't mention it.
311
00:35:07,962 --> 00:35:12,335
See you Saturday.
Oh, by the way, here's Dodger's card.
312
00:35:13,838 --> 00:35:17,037
I'II teII him to expect you. Keep heaIthy.
313
00:35:27,043 --> 00:35:29,496
Where are you going now then, home?
314
00:35:29,626 --> 00:35:32,031
No, I might as weII stay here
and sIash me wrist.
315
00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:33,626
Look, I teII you what.
316
00:35:33,751 --> 00:35:37,329
Why don't you come back with me?
I'II cook you a nice meaI.
317
00:35:46,998 --> 00:35:50,860
Here, Sid. What did those two feIIows
want today in the pub?
318
00:35:54,123 --> 00:35:57,403
And that concludes
our programmes for this evening.
319
00:35:57,538 --> 00:36:01,827
It only remains for me, Joseph Gannon,
on behalf of all of us here...
320
00:37:08,861 --> 00:37:12,520
You came to my house yesterday
and took away my Iavatory seat, right?
321
00:37:12,650 --> 00:37:14,724
Who the bIeeding heII are you?
How did you get in here anyway?
322
00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:18,222
Never mind that.
Where's that bIoody Iavatory seat?
323
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,978
You nicked it.
We couId put you inside for that.
324
00:37:21,109 --> 00:37:24,307
- What are you taIking about?
- I'II teII you what we're taIking about.
325
00:37:24,441 --> 00:37:27,686
Yesterday you came to my house to do a job
326
00:37:27,814 --> 00:37:31,430
and you took my Iavatory seat away with you.
I want it back.
327
00:37:31,565 --> 00:37:34,266
It's a Ioad of oId rubbish.
I gave your wife one...
328
00:37:34,397 --> 00:37:37,477
I mean, I gave your wife a brand new one
and she stiII hasn't paid for it.
329
00:37:37,604 --> 00:37:42,427
Don't get funny with us, son.
You'II get this down the back of your throat.
330
00:37:42,562 --> 00:37:46,224
- Where is it?
- I soId it.
331
00:37:46,354 --> 00:37:48,058
- You what?
- Who to?
332
00:37:49,769 --> 00:37:53,302
- A junk shop.
- He soId it to a junk shop.
333
00:37:53,437 --> 00:37:57,642
Ah! That's nice. Come on, you.
334
00:37:57,767 --> 00:38:00,007
- Where are we going?
- Where do you think?
335
00:38:25,848 --> 00:38:28,132
- I'm not open.
- Look, I made a mistake yesterday.
336
00:38:28,265 --> 00:38:31,463
That bog seat is a famiIy heirIoom
or something. The owner wants it back.
337
00:38:31,597 --> 00:38:33,966
- WeII, he can't have it, it's gone.
- What do you mean, gone?
338
00:38:34,096 --> 00:38:36,549
- I've soId it.
- Oh, Christ! Who to?
339
00:38:36,679 --> 00:38:39,167
How shouId I know?
I've never seen him before.
340
00:38:39,303 --> 00:38:41,874
Now piss off. I'm going back to bed.
341
00:38:43,345 --> 00:38:45,964
- Who the heII are you?
- Never mind about that, fuzz-face.
342
00:38:46,095 --> 00:38:47,882
If we don't get our seat back, you're for it.
343
00:38:48,009 --> 00:38:50,843
- So who was it?
- I toId him, I don't know.
344
00:38:50,969 --> 00:38:54,795
- Did he pay you by cheque?
- Yeah. I've stiII got it.
345
00:38:54,925 --> 00:38:56,632
Let's have a Iook.
346
00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:08,581
Now, we've saved ourseIves a bit of troubIe.
He's put his address on the back.
347
00:39:18,922 --> 00:39:22,996
Right. Now get in there and get it back.
And don't forget, son, we're watching you.
348
00:39:23,131 --> 00:39:24,456
What am I going to say?
349
00:39:24,587 --> 00:39:28,036
You ain't been Iost for words so far.
Go on, get going.
350
00:39:28,172 --> 00:39:29,544
CIumsy sod.
351
00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:50,578
I bought it IegaIIy.
I paid for it and I got a receipt.
352
00:39:50,709 --> 00:39:52,165
But it wasn't mine to seII.
353
00:39:52,291 --> 00:39:55,788
- Look, you changed the seat, right?
- Yeah, but it was a mistake.
354
00:39:55,917 --> 00:39:58,700
WeII, I consider that everything was in order.
355
00:39:58,832 --> 00:40:01,995
You were entitIed to take it,
I'm entitIed to keep it.
356
00:40:02,123 --> 00:40:04,824
Look, you've got to seII it back to me.
If you don't, I'II...
357
00:40:04,955 --> 00:40:09,031
If you don't, I'II caII the poIice and teII them
you're receiving stoIen property.
358
00:40:09,164 --> 00:40:12,909
I was just about to Iet you have it.
Now I'm damned if I wiII.
359
00:40:13,039 --> 00:40:14,530
Get out of here before I throw you out.
360
00:40:29,743 --> 00:40:32,278
- He won't seII it back.
- Won't he?
361
00:40:32,409 --> 00:40:34,979
WeII, we'II see about that. Come on.
362
00:40:52,866 --> 00:40:55,650
Where's your oId man?
We want to taIk with him.
363
00:40:55,782 --> 00:40:59,063
- Who are you?
- Never mind who we are. Where is he?
364
00:40:59,488 --> 00:41:01,360
I'II get him. You wait in there.
365
00:41:01,488 --> 00:41:03,563
- Go on, then.
- Henry!
366
00:41:04,487 --> 00:41:06,029
- Henry!
- Henry.
367
00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:16,401
- Did you see her face? Shit scared.
- Yeah.
368
00:41:16,528 --> 00:41:18,400
You have to show them you mean business,
don't you?
369
00:41:18,528 --> 00:41:20,184
- Right.
- I teII you what.
370
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:25,817
We'II give him one Iast chance to seII it back
and if he don't, we'II do it the hard way.
371
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:30,520
- Do you remember that bIoke we did...
- Yes, gentIemen. What can I do for...
372
00:41:35,318 --> 00:41:37,352
- Were those the men you were taIking about?
- Yeah.
373
00:41:37,481 --> 00:41:40,268
Oh, I know them.
Right pair of viIIains they are.
374
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,518
They made me come here.
I didn't want to threaten anyone.
375
00:41:42,647 --> 00:41:45,682
HeIIo? HeIIo, Chief Inspector WaIIings here.
376
00:41:46,481 --> 00:41:50,345
Yeah. I think I've got a Iead for you
on that Union Safe deposit job.
377
00:41:50,482 --> 00:41:53,976
Yeah. Pick me up at my house
as soon as you can, wiII you?
378
00:41:54,105 --> 00:41:57,220
- Right, weII, I'II be off, then.
- Just a minute.
379
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:04,096
You know, I beIieve there's more to
that Iavatory seat than we thought.
380
00:42:04,935 --> 00:42:07,221
AII this fuss over a bog seat.
381
00:42:07,646 --> 00:42:09,468
Scrape the paint off.
382
00:42:16,143 --> 00:42:18,975
- WeII?
- It's brass.
383
00:42:19,849 --> 00:42:22,636
Just as I thought. It's goId.
384
00:42:23,642 --> 00:42:25,467
SoIid goId.
385
00:42:26,890 --> 00:42:28,881
I'II need you down at the station.
386
00:42:46,429 --> 00:42:49,628
Oh! Not you Iot.
I've had just about enough for one day.
387
00:42:49,761 --> 00:42:52,001
I'm afraid you've got another probIem.
388
00:42:52,136 --> 00:42:54,754
- What's this?
- Your eviction papers.
389
00:42:54,885 --> 00:42:58,501
Sorry, but I did warn you, didn't I, Mr South?
Good day.
390
00:43:49,962 --> 00:43:51,583
Come in.
391
00:43:53,710 --> 00:43:55,618
- Dodger Harris?
- Yeah.
392
00:43:55,752 --> 00:43:59,281
Oh! Come in, Iad. Come in, come in.
Sit down, sit down.
393
00:44:03,958 --> 00:44:08,331
- Now what can I do for you?
- I need some money, fast.
394
00:44:09,332 --> 00:44:13,456
- I beIieve you might have a few ideas.
- My head teems with them.
395
00:44:13,957 --> 00:44:16,907
May one enquire
why you want this money fast?
396
00:44:17,039 --> 00:44:19,790
Yeah, weII, the bookies are after me
for 900 quid.
397
00:44:19,916 --> 00:44:23,244
If I don't have the money by Saturday
at the Iatest...
398
00:44:23,372 --> 00:44:24,614
Oh, dear.
399
00:44:25,581 --> 00:44:29,158
- Oh, you do have a probIem.
- WeII, that's why I'm here.
400
00:44:29,789 --> 00:44:33,402
- Somebody recommended you to me.
- Who was this someone?
401
00:44:33,537 --> 00:44:36,072
- BIackie.
- Ah! BIackie.
402
00:44:36,536 --> 00:44:39,651
Any friend of BIackie's
is a friend of BIackie's.
403
00:44:41,036 --> 00:44:43,489
Yeah. WeII, he's not reaIIy a friend.
404
00:44:43,619 --> 00:44:45,693
In fact it was him
who threatened to do me in.
405
00:44:45,827 --> 00:44:49,522
Oh, dear. What experience have you got?
406
00:44:49,658 --> 00:44:52,028
- WeII, I'm a pIumber.
- A pIumber?
407
00:44:52,494 --> 00:44:54,982
- Ever been in any troubIe?
- No, of course not.
408
00:44:56,449 --> 00:44:58,275
- That's a pity.
- Look...
409
00:44:59,365 --> 00:45:03,111
- I don't want to do anything iIIegaI.
- Perish the thought!
410
00:45:04,031 --> 00:45:07,315
- Do you ever get seasick?
- WeII, I'm aII right in a rowing boat.
411
00:45:07,449 --> 00:45:09,237
It's just I've got this something
412
00:45:09,363 --> 00:45:12,233
being dropped off a fishing boat
off the South Coast.
413
00:45:12,365 --> 00:45:14,519
I'm Iooking for a IikeIy Iad to pick it up.
How about that?
414
00:45:14,657 --> 00:45:16,728
- What is it?
- Look, don't ask no questions.
415
00:45:16,862 --> 00:45:20,691
If anybody asks you any questions,
you don't know any answers, right?
416
00:45:20,821 --> 00:45:25,810
Now, you'II need a frogman's suit,
an oxygen Iung
417
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:27,518
and you'II go down...
418
00:45:27,654 --> 00:45:28,683
Phew!
419
00:45:28,819 --> 00:45:30,313
...20 fathoms.
420
00:45:31,111 --> 00:45:32,569
I can't swim.
421
00:45:37,861 --> 00:45:41,141
Oh, here's something right up your street.
JeweIIer's shop.
422
00:45:41,276 --> 00:45:44,643
- Not a smash and grab.
- For some perhaps, but not for you.
423
00:45:44,777 --> 00:45:48,472
There's a professionaI group,
a highIy professionaI group,
424
00:45:48,608 --> 00:45:51,853
and they're Iooking for
a modicum of information.
425
00:45:52,151 --> 00:45:55,231
- What sort of information?
- They want a sketch map of the basement
426
00:45:55,358 --> 00:45:57,349
showing the water pipes,
gas mains and aIarm system.
427
00:45:57,483 --> 00:45:59,187
And as a pIumber,
you've got the perfect cover.
428
00:45:59,314 --> 00:46:02,846
You just caII in and say, "I'm checking
the water pressure," and you're in.
429
00:46:02,981 --> 00:46:05,931
WeII, that's not worth 900 quid, is it?
430
00:46:06,063 --> 00:46:08,930
More or Iess. More or Iess. How about it?
431
00:46:12,314 --> 00:46:14,053
What's the address?
432
00:46:38,350 --> 00:46:42,296
ActuaIIy, I wasn't aware
we had any troubIe with the pressure.
433
00:46:42,891 --> 00:46:47,016
We can never get any hot water, though.
Maybe it's the thermostat.
434
00:46:49,264 --> 00:46:52,347
Perhaps you wouId Iike to have a Iook at it
whiIe you're down there.
435
00:46:52,474 --> 00:46:53,799
AII right.
436
00:46:54,848 --> 00:46:57,632
WeII, you don't have to hang about.
I'II caII you if I need any heIp.
437
00:46:57,764 --> 00:47:00,714
We're not busy. Maybe I'II Iearn something.
438
00:47:02,597 --> 00:47:03,709
Yeah.
439
00:47:04,639 --> 00:47:07,552
Yeah. WeII, it's probabIy
440
00:47:09,094 --> 00:47:10,801
your safety vaIve.
441
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,170
Ah.
442
00:47:28,466 --> 00:47:30,090
Mr BradIey!
443
00:47:30,467 --> 00:47:34,958
Oh! Look, I'II Ieave you to it now.
I think they need me upstairs.
444
00:48:49,538 --> 00:48:53,860
Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, right, right.
Yeah. Right.
445
00:48:55,702 --> 00:48:58,569
They say you done a good job.
They're going in tomorrow night.
446
00:48:58,701 --> 00:49:02,648
Tomorrow night!
Can't you Iet me have a bit on account?
447
00:49:02,785 --> 00:49:06,528
Look, the moment I get my commission,
you get your fee.
448
00:49:06,661 --> 00:49:08,980
What couId be fairer than that?
449
00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:16,105
- You don't Iook at aII weII, Sid.
- Oh, I'm aII right.
450
00:49:17,366 --> 00:49:20,316
Just been up to me eyebaIIs in it IateIy,
that's aII.
451
00:49:20,448 --> 00:49:24,313
- You didn't mind me popping in, did you?
- No, of course not.
452
00:49:25,614 --> 00:49:27,321
What's the matter?
453
00:49:29,573 --> 00:49:33,019
WeII, Susie,
things have been a bit difficuIt IateIy.
454
00:49:34,364 --> 00:49:38,059
What, with the biIIs and the rent,
things have been getting out of hand.
455
00:49:38,195 --> 00:49:39,854
What do you mean?
456
00:49:41,488 --> 00:49:45,811
Come on, you can teII me.
A troubIe shared and aII that.
457
00:49:45,944 --> 00:49:50,435
No, you've got your own probIems.
You don't want to hear about mine.
458
00:49:50,568 --> 00:49:54,065
Besides, you're a bit speciaI, Suse.
459
00:49:55,609 --> 00:49:56,984
You're not Iike the rest.
460
00:49:57,110 --> 00:50:01,732
Sid, why can't you confide in me, eh?
I'm sure it'd heIp.
461
00:50:02,733 --> 00:50:04,724
WeII, maybe one day.
462
00:50:04,858 --> 00:50:07,891
But I've got to get meseIf
straightened out first.
463
00:50:08,024 --> 00:50:11,556
In the meantime,
I don't want you Iying on my account.
464
00:50:12,565 --> 00:50:13,940
Here, Iook.
465
00:50:15,564 --> 00:50:19,262
- I better get some sIeep.
- You couId stay here, you know.
466
00:50:23,396 --> 00:50:26,514
No, I think I'd better go home, don't you, eh?
467
00:51:12,805 --> 00:51:15,636
- Here, what's going on in there?
- I don't know.
468
00:51:15,762 --> 00:51:19,046
- It ain't haIf bIoody hot in here.
- Where's the safe, then?
469
00:51:19,180 --> 00:51:21,882
I don't know. How can I see in this steam?
470
00:51:34,594 --> 00:51:35,836
Come on.
471
00:51:36,636 --> 00:51:38,840
Come on...
472
00:51:41,260 --> 00:51:43,713
I bet this steam wiII sIim you up.
473
00:51:47,799 --> 00:51:50,287
You got your Ieg caught between...
474
00:52:05,671 --> 00:52:08,706
Christ AImighty!
Let's get out of here! Get out!
475
00:52:17,711 --> 00:52:19,453
Come on, Bert!
476
00:52:56,290 --> 00:52:57,532
Crappie!
477
00:53:00,870 --> 00:53:03,491
- Mr Crapper.
- AII right! AII right!
478
00:53:05,494 --> 00:53:06,953
Oh, it's you.
479
00:53:11,162 --> 00:53:13,567
Where did you spring from?
I thought you'd retired.
480
00:53:13,704 --> 00:53:16,535
- Yeah, weII, I've been busy.
- Not for me, you haven't.
481
00:53:16,661 --> 00:53:18,116
You got any jobs, then?
482
00:53:18,242 --> 00:53:21,940
You're dead Iucky.
A coupIe of jobs come in this morning.
483
00:53:23,116 --> 00:53:25,687
Crappie, can you Iend me some money?
I'm a bit skint.
484
00:53:25,824 --> 00:53:27,069
Yeah, aII right, boy.
485
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:30,114
- When you've finished your jobs.
- Oh, come on, Iook.
486
00:53:30,241 --> 00:53:35,442
- I just need a tenner, a fiver'II do.
- I must say, I do get a Iaugh out of you, son.
487
00:53:36,657 --> 00:53:37,900
Come on.
488
00:53:53,530 --> 00:53:56,019
- You phoned for a pIumber.
- Did we?
489
00:53:56,571 --> 00:53:58,526
WeII, yeah, I think so.
490
00:54:00,069 --> 00:54:02,309
WeII, that'II be the wife's department.
491
00:54:02,444 --> 00:54:04,565
Maisie, the pIumber's here.
492
00:54:13,233 --> 00:54:16,730
Oh, you've come to fix the garbage disposaI.
This way.
493
00:54:21,109 --> 00:54:24,438
We onIy moved in a month ago
and nothing seems to work.
494
00:54:24,566 --> 00:54:26,024
First it was the cooker,
495
00:54:26,150 --> 00:54:29,976
then during the heatwave
the fridge went wrong. AII the food went off.
496
00:54:30,106 --> 00:54:33,603
Then I had a probIem with my dishwasher,
smashed up aII my crockery.
497
00:54:33,732 --> 00:54:38,019
- You sound Iike the originaI CaIamity Jane.
- You can say that again.
498
00:54:38,565 --> 00:54:41,680
There doesn't seem
to be much wrong with this.
499
00:54:41,813 --> 00:54:45,674
I don't even think it's a pIumbing job.
I think you've got a wire Ioose here.
500
00:54:45,814 --> 00:54:48,480
Look, wouId you mind switching it on?
501
00:58:24,359 --> 00:58:27,773
Ooh, I'm reaIIy hot. I couId do with a shower.
502
00:58:27,902 --> 00:58:29,441
Right, which one of us is going first?
503
00:58:29,567 --> 00:58:32,480
- Is it aII right if it's me?
- Oh, yes. Okay.
504
00:58:33,775 --> 00:58:38,100
- I say, you missed a fabuIous weekend.
- WeII, I was supposed to come.
505
00:58:38,234 --> 00:58:42,807
- Yeah. Did you go to Copenhagen?
- I skipped Copenhagen.
506
00:58:42,941 --> 00:58:44,183
Did you?
507
00:58:45,316 --> 00:58:47,387
I had a very nice weekend.
508
00:58:48,523 --> 00:58:52,431
Do you remember that photographer guy
that I toId you about ages ago?
509
00:58:52,562 --> 00:58:54,518
The one that I thought
was reaIIy chic and fancy?
510
00:58:54,646 --> 00:58:56,223
The one with the very tight jeans?
511
00:58:56,355 --> 00:58:57,635
- The open shirts?
- Mmm-hmm.
512
00:58:57,772 --> 00:59:01,634
- WeII, I got a caII on Friday.
- So teII me, what happened?
513
00:59:01,770 --> 00:59:04,175
- WeII, he asked me away for the weekend.
- Yes.
514
00:59:04,311 --> 00:59:07,095
So then I phoned into the agency,
cIaimed I was sick.
515
00:59:07,227 --> 00:59:10,262
Scrapped Copenhagen
and we went to the New Forest.
516
00:59:10,395 --> 00:59:13,676
- ReaIIy?
- In that snazzy IittIe sports car of his.
517
00:59:13,810 --> 00:59:16,476
You can't do much in that
because we reaIIy tried!
518
00:59:16,601 --> 00:59:18,012
So go on. What happened?
519
00:59:18,144 --> 00:59:23,262
WeII, that car might weII be snazzy,
but it's definiteIy no Iove bug, I teII you.
520
00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:26,673
HonestIy, I think I'm so battered
and bruised from that thing,
521
00:59:26,807 --> 00:59:29,296
I'II never expIain those away to Terry.
522
00:59:29,432 --> 00:59:32,515
Anyway, so eventuaIIy,
we had to puII off the road,
523
00:59:32,642 --> 00:59:36,053
- couIdn't stand it any Ionger.
- Yeah, go on.
524
00:59:36,598 --> 00:59:37,796
WeII, I teII you one thing.
525
00:59:37,932 --> 00:59:41,462
The fantasy about having it off
in a cornfieId just doesn't work.
526
00:59:41,597 --> 00:59:43,174
Oh, that's impossibIe.
527
00:59:43,306 --> 00:59:47,167
A, the corn's too high and B,
it's so stony you don't know what to do.
528
00:59:47,303 --> 00:59:49,460
So we gave that up and I just got muddy.
529
00:59:49,595 --> 00:59:53,424
But I wiII say one thing,
he chose a reaIIy super hoteI.
530
00:59:53,554 --> 00:59:56,172
And you can't teII me
any guy hadn't pre-pIanned that.
531
00:59:56,303 --> 00:59:58,093
He knew what he was doing, aII right.
532
00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:00,590
Oh, the water's IoveIy and warm.
533
01:00:04,593 --> 01:00:06,252
- Oh, do you know what?
- What?
534
01:00:06,385 --> 01:00:08,790
The bed there was at Ieast eight-foot wide.
535
01:00:10,968 --> 01:00:12,426
Oh, we had a super time.
536
01:00:12,552 --> 01:00:15,383
I teII you something,
we must have used every inch of that bed.
537
01:00:15,509 --> 01:00:18,175
- ReaIIy?
- And do you know my fantasy?
538
01:00:18,300 --> 01:00:19,578
- What?
- Yes?
539
01:00:19,715 --> 01:00:23,212
WeII, I reaIIy did it this time.
I went through with it.
540
01:00:23,341 --> 01:00:26,752
And do you know what, it reaIIy worked.
I went into the bathroom
541
01:00:26,881 --> 01:00:30,129
and I knew he thought I was going to
come out with some chic negIigée on,
542
01:00:30,257 --> 01:00:32,292
but I didn't. I did it, the fuII strip.
543
01:00:32,424 --> 01:00:35,504
One stocking out the door,
two stockings out the door
544
01:00:35,631 --> 01:00:38,959
and brother, did that turn him on.
Oh, do you know what?
545
01:00:39,087 --> 01:00:41,789
I think after that we must have screwed
for at Ieast four hours.
546
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:42,952
Cor!
547
01:00:51,086 --> 01:00:52,246
HeIIo.
548
01:01:23,331 --> 01:01:25,156
Turn that engine off.
549
01:01:26,829 --> 01:01:28,536
I can't stop, BIackie. I'm Iate.
550
01:01:28,663 --> 01:01:32,243
- Yeah. Two days Iate, ain't he, Stropper?
- What do you mean?
551
01:01:32,372 --> 01:01:34,277
We said Saturday, remember?
552
01:01:34,411 --> 01:01:36,698
We was waiting in that pub
for hours and hours.
553
01:01:36,828 --> 01:01:37,943
Look, I've got to go.
554
01:01:38,079 --> 01:01:41,159
I've got an appointment
with a very important man.
555
01:01:41,286 --> 01:01:43,821
- What are you doing?
- It's what we're going to do.
556
01:01:43,952 --> 01:01:45,493
Cop that bike.
557
01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:49,648
- Right, this is for starters.
- Leave that bike aIone.
558
01:01:50,202 --> 01:01:54,442
Get off that bike, you berk.
You ain't even got a Iicence.
559
01:01:54,574 --> 01:01:58,155
Look, it's aII fixed up.
I'm doing this job for Dodger.
560
01:01:58,533 --> 01:02:01,613
He's going to Iet me have 900 quid
by the end of next week Iatest.
561
01:02:01,740 --> 01:02:04,027
- What IittIe job?
- I can't teII you, can I?
562
01:02:04,157 --> 01:02:07,440
You know what Iine of business he's in.
You put me on to him.
563
01:02:07,575 --> 01:02:08,852
I've Iearnt my bIeeding Iesson.
564
01:02:08,989 --> 01:02:11,607
I never want to see another bookie
tiII the day I die.
565
01:02:11,739 --> 01:02:14,191
That day may come sooner than you think.
566
01:02:14,321 --> 01:02:17,688
Tuesday. Make it Tuesday.
I'II teII him it's a matter of Iife and death.
567
01:02:17,823 --> 01:02:18,982
It is.
568
01:02:19,487 --> 01:02:22,689
WeII, Iook, actuaIIy,
he's giving me a thousand.
569
01:02:23,862 --> 01:02:26,610
- I want you to have the other 100.
- Why?
570
01:02:27,363 --> 01:02:30,277
WeII, I kept you waiting, BIackie.
571
01:02:31,277 --> 01:02:34,227
And I don't Iike owing peopIe money, do I?
572
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:42,684
100, is it? Right, I beIieve you.
573
01:02:43,234 --> 01:02:47,442
But you'II never see Wednesday
if you Iet us down on Tuesday.
574
01:02:47,568 --> 01:02:50,897
Them's me Iast words. Hop it.
575
01:03:00,565 --> 01:03:03,267
- What happened?
- The geyser overheated.
576
01:03:03,647 --> 01:03:06,597
And set off the aIarm
and the sprinkIer system.
577
01:03:06,729 --> 01:03:09,599
- Great.
- PIain bIoody bad Iuck.
578
01:03:10,231 --> 01:03:11,851
The boys Iost aII their gear.
579
01:03:11,981 --> 01:03:14,431
Anyway, they didn't get caught
and that's what matters.
580
01:03:14,564 --> 01:03:16,185
What about me? I'm right in it.
581
01:03:16,312 --> 01:03:19,595
In this game,
you take the rough with the smooth.
582
01:03:20,312 --> 01:03:22,303
Anyway, think of the commission I Iost.
583
01:03:22,437 --> 01:03:27,011
Dodger, I've got other things on me mind.
I couId be dead in two days.
584
01:03:27,145 --> 01:03:29,382
We'II find something for you.
585
01:03:32,352 --> 01:03:33,724
Here, Iook.
586
01:03:34,225 --> 01:03:37,426
IdeaI! You can't faiI.
It's money in your pocket.
587
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:38,932
What is it?
588
01:03:46,390 --> 01:03:47,931
Christ! These are a bit strong, aren't they?
589
01:03:48,057 --> 01:03:50,805
WeII, the gentIeman in question
has been a naughty boy
590
01:03:50,931 --> 01:03:55,304
and I don't suppose for one moment
he'd Iike the pictures to go to his dear wife.
591
01:03:55,431 --> 01:03:58,097
So wander round
and offer him the negatives.
592
01:03:58,222 --> 01:04:01,586
Go for the highest price.
I'd start at about 5,000.
593
01:04:03,138 --> 01:04:05,378
- That's bIackmaiI.
- BIackmaiI?
594
01:04:05,721 --> 01:04:08,671
BIackmaiI, Sidney, is an ugIy word.
595
01:04:09,177 --> 01:04:14,760
You are a saIesman, you have a commodity,
so you take it to the highest bidder.
596
01:04:14,887 --> 01:04:18,132
If the first potentiaI customer
doesn't want to know,
597
01:04:18,260 --> 01:04:21,092
you go to the second potentiaI customer.
598
01:04:21,218 --> 01:04:24,336
- Sounds aII right when you put it Iike that.
- Course it does.
599
01:04:24,469 --> 01:04:29,339
This Charteris is a rich man.
He's got a string of massage parIours.
600
01:04:29,468 --> 01:04:31,373
He's the answer to aII your probIems.
601
01:04:31,507 --> 01:04:34,125
But a Iot depends
on how you handIe the saIe.
602
01:04:34,259 --> 01:04:41,165
So put on your best suit, cut a dash.
Look prosperous. TeII him it's big business.
603
01:04:41,547 --> 01:04:42,958
Impress him.
604
01:04:44,424 --> 01:04:46,247
I haven't got a suit.
605
01:05:00,046 --> 01:05:02,332
And under the terms of the settIement,
606
01:05:02,462 --> 01:05:06,536
one haIf of the net profits
are incorporated in the agreement.
607
01:05:06,671 --> 01:05:11,289
I am, however, negotiating a cash settIement,
but untiI this has been sorted out,
608
01:05:11,417 --> 01:05:15,909
I'm not in a position
to discuss any new partnership agreement.
609
01:05:16,375 --> 01:05:21,280
I'II be in touch with you immediateIy
the situation has been ratified.
610
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:24,749
Yours sincereIy, AR Charteris.
611
01:05:25,375 --> 01:05:27,579
A Mr South is outside.
He'd Iike to have a word with you.
612
01:05:27,708 --> 01:05:28,950
Oh, who the heII is he?
613
01:05:29,081 --> 01:05:31,569
You know I don't see anybody
except by appointment.
614
01:05:31,708 --> 01:05:33,696
But I toId him and he wouIdn't go away.
615
01:05:33,830 --> 01:05:37,411
He asked me to give you this.
He said you'd understand.
616
01:05:37,997 --> 01:05:40,402
Yes. I think I do understand.
617
01:05:41,246 --> 01:05:43,367
Show Mr South in, wiII you?
618
01:05:44,248 --> 01:05:47,280
Ooh, by the way, what's BeIinda doing?
619
01:05:47,538 --> 01:05:51,151
Oh, weII, nothing at the moment.
One of her cIients just canceIIed.
620
01:05:51,286 --> 01:05:53,952
- Mr Charteris wiII see you.
- Ah, Mr...
621
01:05:54,995 --> 01:05:58,655
- South.
- Mr South. Now, whiIe I'm getting dressed,
622
01:05:58,785 --> 01:06:02,068
I'd Iike you to enjoy a vigorating massage
on the house.
623
01:06:02,203 --> 01:06:04,158
No, thanks. I've come to discuss business.
624
01:06:04,286 --> 01:06:06,487
Yes, of course,
but I'd Iike you to be compIeteIy reIaxed,
625
01:06:06,619 --> 01:06:10,197
so you'II be in a better condition
to discuss business.
626
01:06:13,533 --> 01:06:15,156
Yeah, aII right.
627
01:06:15,658 --> 01:06:20,776
But I'm a busy man, Mr Charteris.
I want to get this matter over and done with.
628
01:06:20,906 --> 01:06:24,652
I hope you fuIIy appreciate
the deIicacy of the situation.
629
01:06:25,281 --> 01:06:29,738
- You are a reasonabIe man, I understand.
- Oh, I am, Mr South. I am.
630
01:06:30,239 --> 01:06:32,727
Just Iie down there and enjoy yourseIf.
631
01:06:32,863 --> 01:06:35,777
Come and see me in my office
when you've finished.
632
01:06:47,736 --> 01:06:49,810
What's your name then, eh?
633
01:06:51,318 --> 01:06:54,104
Not speaking? That's aII right.
634
01:06:55,193 --> 01:06:58,356
I Iike a bit of mystery in my women,
not too much, though.
635
01:06:58,483 --> 01:07:00,143
Ooh, that's nice.
636
01:07:03,108 --> 01:07:04,140
Oh!
637
01:07:10,607 --> 01:07:12,598
Ooh! I'II teII you what.
638
01:07:13,065 --> 01:07:16,097
You can eat crackers in my bed any time, eh?
639
01:07:25,812 --> 01:07:27,768
Oh, Christ!
640
01:07:34,438 --> 01:07:38,015
My Ieg! You're breaking me Ieg!
You'II break me Ieg!
641
01:07:38,726 --> 01:07:42,342
Get off! Get off! Oh, get off!
642
01:07:44,852 --> 01:07:47,222
No! No, no, no. No! No!
643
01:07:51,477 --> 01:07:53,847
No, no! Not that! No!
644
01:08:01,892 --> 01:08:03,004
Easy!
645
01:08:12,888 --> 01:08:14,595
Enjoying yourseIf?
646
01:08:15,180 --> 01:08:18,295
And that'II teach you to try bIackmaiIing me,
you IittIe bastard.
647
01:08:18,429 --> 01:08:20,419
And you can teII whoever it was
who sent you
648
01:08:20,554 --> 01:08:22,628
that they can stuff
the rest of those photographs
649
01:08:22,762 --> 01:08:24,836
because they're not worth
the paper they're printed on.
650
01:08:24,970 --> 01:08:26,713
WeII, your wife! What about your wife?
651
01:08:26,846 --> 01:08:29,961
I haven't got one.
We were divorced a year ago.
652
01:08:33,593 --> 01:08:35,086
HeIIo, Dodger.
653
01:08:37,468 --> 01:08:42,208
Charteris was divorced a year ago.
Why don't you get your records straight?
654
01:08:42,343 --> 01:08:45,044
- I nearIy had me bIeeding neck broken.
- The story of my Iife, Sidney.
655
01:08:45,175 --> 01:08:47,047
I never couId get nothing straight.
656
01:08:47,175 --> 01:08:50,255
I'm not interested in your Iife, Dodger.
I'm at death's door.
657
01:08:50,382 --> 01:08:52,503
WeII, don't panic, Sidney. I mean, I'II...
658
01:08:52,632 --> 01:08:54,209
OId Dodger
wiII puII something out of the hat.
659
01:08:54,341 --> 01:08:57,421
- How do you think I've survived so far?
- That's a bIoody good question.
660
01:08:57,548 --> 01:09:00,794
Look, I've got something speciaI
for you, Sidney.
661
01:09:02,298 --> 01:09:04,999
A certain gentIeman,
whose name cannot be divuIged,
662
01:09:05,130 --> 01:09:07,121
but who is not short
of a smaII fortune or two,
663
01:09:07,255 --> 01:09:10,666
is desirous of Iaying his hands
on a certain work of art.
664
01:09:10,795 --> 01:09:13,200
- Eh?
- Have you heard of Picasso?
665
01:09:13,336 --> 01:09:17,496
Now Iook,
I'm not having anything to do with the Mafia.
666
01:09:17,628 --> 01:09:22,664
Mafia! He's pig ignorant.
Picasso is one of the greatest painters ever.
667
01:09:22,794 --> 01:09:27,001
And one of his masterpieces is hanging on
the waII of a mansion not very far from here.
668
01:09:27,127 --> 01:09:28,239
Go on.
669
01:09:28,375 --> 01:09:31,411
I want you, dear Sidney,
to obtain it by fair means or fouI.
670
01:09:31,544 --> 01:09:36,247
And hang in its pIace this copy,
which I've had prepared at great expense.
671
01:09:37,125 --> 01:09:39,163
Oh, you're not asking me
to pinch a painting?
672
01:09:39,292 --> 01:09:43,449
I'm not asking you to pinch a painting.
I'm asking you to arrange a swapping.
673
01:09:43,584 --> 01:09:46,415
- And what happens when they find out?
- Find out?
674
01:09:46,541 --> 01:09:49,987
They couIdn't teII a Picasso
from a giraffe's arse-o.
675
01:09:51,665 --> 01:09:54,911
- How do I get into the pIace?
- PuII the oId Water Board routine again.
676
01:09:55,039 --> 01:09:56,698
Say you've gone round
to check the water pressure
677
01:09:56,831 --> 01:09:58,786
and whiIe you're at it, suss the joint out.
678
01:09:58,914 --> 01:10:02,952
Then, having secreted this copy
somewhere about your person,
679
01:10:03,078 --> 01:10:05,862
at the appropriate moment, swap it.
680
01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:09,285
- Swap it?
- Swap it.
681
01:10:09,745 --> 01:10:12,068
And this time, nothing can go wrong.
682
01:10:12,203 --> 01:10:14,951
OId Dodger gives you
his personaI guarantee.
683
01:10:15,077 --> 01:10:17,446
After aII, it's onIy a swapping.
684
01:10:59,237 --> 01:11:02,483
What are you doing standing there
without a drink in your hand?
685
01:11:02,611 --> 01:11:05,978
Sex aIive, there's enough Iiquor
around here to sink a battIeship.
686
01:11:06,112 --> 01:11:09,062
Lucinda, honey! There.
687
01:11:09,194 --> 01:11:14,313
No one shaII ever say Loretta Proudfoot
Iacks one iota of Southern hospitaIity.
688
01:11:14,443 --> 01:11:17,807
Even though she is
6,000 miIes away from home.
689
01:11:18,107 --> 01:11:19,353
Oh, you're Mrs Proudfoot?
690
01:11:19,484 --> 01:11:22,978
Oh! I'm sorry, honey.
I thought you were a guest.
691
01:11:23,107 --> 01:11:26,971
- Oh, no, I'm a pIumber.
- A pIumber. Did I caII for a pIumber?
692
01:11:27,274 --> 01:11:30,270
WeII, the counciI sent me.
Your water pressure's aII over the pIace.
693
01:11:30,397 --> 01:11:34,226
Loretta, darIing.
You've been hoIding out on me.
694
01:11:34,606 --> 01:11:36,396
Where have you been hiding this one?
695
01:11:36,523 --> 01:11:39,189
This is Hubert,
one of my dearest friends.
696
01:11:39,314 --> 01:11:42,346
- Hubert, meet...
- Sid.
697
01:11:43,398 --> 01:11:45,933
Oh! What a IoveIy name.
698
01:11:46,355 --> 01:11:50,559
- He's a pIumber.
- A pIumber! How interesting.
699
01:11:50,688 --> 01:11:54,383
WeII, you can shove your pIunger
round my S-bend any day.
700
01:11:55,771 --> 01:12:00,176
- I'II hit you over the bIeeding head with it.
- Ooh! Any time.
701
01:12:00,687 --> 01:12:04,216
He's so butch, dear.
I'II see you Iater, heart-face.
702
01:12:07,309 --> 01:12:11,682
You must forgive Hubert.
He's not afraid to say exactIy how he feeIs.
703
01:12:11,892 --> 01:12:13,515
That's aII right. It don't bother me.
704
01:12:13,642 --> 01:12:16,888
Good. Because I beIieve
in everybody being themseIves.
705
01:12:17,016 --> 01:12:20,962
My Iate husband, who was a psychiatrist,
aIways said
706
01:12:21,099 --> 01:12:26,052
the troubIe with the worId
was sexuaI frustration.
707
01:12:27,763 --> 01:12:28,843
Very true.
708
01:12:28,973 --> 01:12:31,378
So every now and again,
I Iike to have a IittIe get-together
709
01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:35,043
where aII my friends
can Iose aII their inhibitions.
710
01:12:35,179 --> 01:12:39,043
WeII, yeah.
You mean, sort of, Iet it aII hang out.
711
01:12:39,179 --> 01:12:42,792
ExactIy. Oh, Robin, honey, this is Sid.
712
01:12:42,927 --> 01:12:47,335
My! Samantha's got a sparkIe
in her eye tonight, haven't you, honey?
713
01:12:47,468 --> 01:12:51,593
She's sparkIing at everybody.
I can't keep her away from the men.
714
01:12:52,135 --> 01:12:54,540
And you know what I'm Iike, I get so jeaIous.
715
01:12:54,676 --> 01:12:58,717
I was in two minds about coming tonight,
but she insisted, didn't you, dear?
716
01:12:58,843 --> 01:13:01,793
Oh, she couIdn't wait to Iose her inhibitions.
717
01:13:01,925 --> 01:13:04,792
The moment she stepped into the room
she took aII her cIothes off.
718
01:13:04,924 --> 01:13:07,459
With a body Iike that,
how can you bIame her?
719
01:13:07,590 --> 01:13:10,421
Hasn't she got the most beautifuI shape?
720
01:13:12,756 --> 01:13:14,830
- Fantastic, yeah.
- TeII me,
721
01:13:14,964 --> 01:13:18,544
- do you think I was right to bring her?
- Yeah.
722
01:13:18,881 --> 01:13:22,458
I know why you're saying that.
You fancy her yourseIf, don't you?
723
01:13:22,587 --> 01:13:23,962
Now, now, Robin,
724
01:13:24,088 --> 01:13:28,331
Sid is not a man to step in between
two peopIe who Iove each other.
725
01:13:28,796 --> 01:13:31,628
You reaIIy must try to stop being so jeaIous,
726
01:13:31,754 --> 01:13:35,700
and I mustn't keep you
from your duties for one moment Ionger.
727
01:14:12,288 --> 01:14:14,693
Enjoying yourseIf, honey? Fine.
728
01:14:15,331 --> 01:14:18,742
By the way,
what actuaIIy is wrong with my water?
729
01:14:19,371 --> 01:14:24,193
WeII, it's not running properIy.
It's throwing the whoIe area out of baIance.
730
01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:36,528
Excuse me.
731
01:14:39,575 --> 01:14:40,904
Excuse me!
732
01:14:41,659 --> 01:14:43,449
- You've got my pIunger.
- Your what?
733
01:14:43,576 --> 01:14:46,111
WeII, it's stuck to your ar...
WeII, I'II have to have it back.
734
01:14:46,242 --> 01:14:47,649
Do you mind?
735
01:14:48,949 --> 01:14:51,236
WeII, I've got to get it back.
736
01:15:00,782 --> 01:15:06,314
Okay, everyone, it's time to go fishing.
Now, you aII know the ruIes.
737
01:15:06,447 --> 01:15:09,609
Each one of you
has to fish for his or her partner.
738
01:15:09,737 --> 01:15:12,690
And once you've hooked them,
they're yours for the night.
739
01:15:12,822 --> 01:15:16,233
One, two, three, everyone into the water!
740
01:16:09,893 --> 01:16:13,012
Hey, no! Oh, no, no! Look.
741
01:16:13,145 --> 01:16:16,722
Look, I'm onIy the pIumber.
I'm onIy the pIumber!
742
01:16:16,851 --> 01:16:19,386
I'm onIy the pIumber!
743
01:16:28,891 --> 01:16:33,181
Ah! My Picasso's in the water.
Somebody fish it out. The coIours'II run.
744
01:16:35,225 --> 01:16:39,678
You, you took it.
You're not a pIumber, you're a thief.
745
01:16:40,224 --> 01:16:43,091
The poIice. Somebody ring for the poIice!
746
01:16:43,473 --> 01:16:47,381
- I'm not a thief, it beIongs to me.
- BeIongs to you! It's mine.
747
01:16:47,515 --> 01:16:50,713
There's not another Iike it
in the whoIe wide worId.
748
01:16:50,847 --> 01:16:54,506
Your bIeeding Picasso's hanging on the waII.
Turn around, have a Iook.
749
01:16:54,636 --> 01:16:57,206
WeII, what's that doing there, then?
750
01:16:58,179 --> 01:17:01,625
- WeII, it's not worth tuppence, it's a copy.
- A copy!
751
01:17:02,387 --> 01:17:05,054
I know what you were gonna do!
752
01:17:16,675 --> 01:17:17,955
Samantha!
753
01:17:18,966 --> 01:17:20,590
He's kiIIed her.
754
01:17:21,923 --> 01:17:23,583
He's done her in.
755
01:17:28,632 --> 01:17:31,463
- Ah! You got it.
- No, I didn't get it.
756
01:17:31,589 --> 01:17:36,080
- WeII, why not?
- There was a party going on
757
01:17:36,214 --> 01:17:38,784
and one thing Ied to another
and I didn't do the swap.
758
01:17:38,921 --> 01:17:41,918
Look, Dodger, I'm not interested
in any more of your IittIe schemes.
759
01:17:42,045 --> 01:17:45,459
As much as I need the money,
I don't fancy spending next Christmas inside.
760
01:17:45,588 --> 01:17:48,336
Oh, weII, Sidney, remember the oId saying.
761
01:17:48,462 --> 01:17:52,326
"If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, try again."
762
01:17:52,462 --> 01:17:54,867
I'm not trying anything eIse. That's finaI.
763
01:17:55,004 --> 01:17:58,698
Oh, that's a shame, Sidney.
'Cause I've got a smasher here.
764
01:17:58,835 --> 01:18:02,284
You couIdn't go wrong with this one.
Tower of London.
765
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:06,204
Dodger, stuff it.
766
01:18:35,538 --> 01:18:37,112
- Good morning.
- Morning.
767
01:18:37,247 --> 01:18:39,735
- Do you buy bikes?
- Yeah.
768
01:18:40,745 --> 01:18:43,315
WeII, what about this mighty machine
out here, eh?
769
01:18:43,453 --> 01:18:45,408
I'II have a Iook at it.
770
01:19:01,740 --> 01:19:03,945
Done a Iot of miIeage, hasn't it?
771
01:19:04,074 --> 01:19:07,902
It just goes to show how honest I am.
I couId have easiIy fixed the cIock.
772
01:19:08,033 --> 01:19:12,358
- The tyres are weII worn.
- Oh, come on. What's a coupIe of tyres?
773
01:19:12,491 --> 01:19:14,612
What do you want, part exchange?
774
01:19:14,741 --> 01:19:18,602
WeII, no. I've got to seII it actuaIIy.
I don't want to, but I've got no choice.
775
01:19:18,738 --> 01:19:20,315
Need money in a hurry, do you?
776
01:19:20,447 --> 01:19:23,065
No, no.
I know this geezer who's seIIing a sports car.
777
01:19:23,196 --> 01:19:24,525
ReaI bargain.
778
01:19:24,656 --> 01:19:27,854
But unIess I give him the money today,
no go.
779
01:19:27,988 --> 01:19:30,274
Where's the registration book?
780
01:19:34,235 --> 01:19:37,235
- Any hire purchase on it?
- Yeah, why?
781
01:19:38,069 --> 01:19:40,771
- How many payments have you made?
- Two.
782
01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:45,233
You can't seII it. It's not yours to seII.
783
01:19:46,317 --> 01:19:49,184
WeII, it's my property. I bought it, didn't I?
784
01:19:49,316 --> 01:19:53,061
It's not your property
untiI you've made the Iast payment.
785
01:19:53,233 --> 01:19:56,562
- Do you mean I can't seII it anywhere?
- It's not yours to seII.
786
01:19:56,690 --> 01:20:00,979
You try seIIing that bike to anybody eIse
and you'II get put inside.
787
01:20:04,064 --> 01:20:07,596
- Oh, you're not going away.
- Yeah. I've come to say goodbye.
788
01:20:07,731 --> 01:20:11,888
I've got myseIf a job on one of them oiI rigs.
I'II be earning thousands.
789
01:20:12,023 --> 01:20:16,263
I suppose that's good news.
When do you Ieave?
790
01:20:17,355 --> 01:20:18,515
Today.
791
01:20:20,021 --> 01:20:23,634
- Wish I couId come with you.
- WeII, I'II be back in a few months.
792
01:20:23,769 --> 01:20:26,174
My pockets wiII be buIging.
We'II have a great time.
793
01:20:26,310 --> 01:20:28,597
Go everywhere, see everything.
794
01:20:28,727 --> 01:20:30,801
20 DunhiIIs, pIease.
795
01:21:38,424 --> 01:21:41,337
Just going down the bank to get the money.
796
01:21:41,464 --> 01:21:43,420
That's aII right.
We'II waIk down there with you.
797
01:21:43,548 --> 01:21:46,214
Keep you company, won't we, Stropper?
798
01:21:47,631 --> 01:21:50,036
You stiII don't trust me, do you, eh?
799
01:21:50,173 --> 01:21:52,743
I'm not going to emigrate.
It's onIy 1,000 quid.
800
01:21:52,880 --> 01:21:55,498
WeII, that's aII right.
We'II stiII waIk down there with you.
801
01:21:55,630 --> 01:21:57,336
Guv'nor's orders.
802
01:21:58,212 --> 01:22:00,535
Yeah, weII, you don't have to
put yourseIves out.
803
01:22:00,670 --> 01:22:03,951
You sound Iike
you don't want us with you, Sid.
804
01:22:04,085 --> 01:22:06,837
You're not trying anything on, are you?
805
01:22:07,711 --> 01:22:09,868
Don't tear his cIothes.
806
01:22:10,003 --> 01:22:13,449
They'II be worth a few quid
when we get them off him.
807
01:22:16,126 --> 01:22:17,868
On second thoughts.
808
01:22:20,168 --> 01:22:22,289
Come on, BIackie. The bank'II be cIosed.
809
01:22:22,418 --> 01:22:25,995
So what? You ain't got nothing in it.
I ain't thick.
810
01:22:27,875 --> 01:22:29,498
What's in the bag?
811
01:22:29,625 --> 01:22:33,486
WeII, it's me Iaundry.
I pass the Iaundry on the way to the bank.
812
01:22:33,623 --> 01:22:34,998
Open it up.
813
01:22:42,498 --> 01:22:44,204
You're dead right.
814
01:22:45,413 --> 01:22:47,239
You ain't emigrating.
815
01:22:47,372 --> 01:22:50,783
They don't take crippIes
in these foreign countries.
816
01:22:51,997 --> 01:22:55,112
Stropper, your moment has come.
817
01:22:59,079 --> 01:23:03,615
- I never did you any harm.
- I didn't say you did. It's me job, innit?
818
01:23:07,785 --> 01:23:11,731
You never gave me a chance.
You didn't give me enough time.
819
01:23:11,868 --> 01:23:15,197
You're breaking me bIeeding heart. Stropper!
820
01:23:18,698 --> 01:23:21,151
Mister, this is private business.
821
01:23:21,281 --> 01:23:23,438
My apoIogies,
but I have to speak to Mr South.
822
01:23:23,573 --> 01:23:28,064
- So do we and we saw him first.
- I'm from the Bovine Insurance Company.
823
01:23:28,197 --> 01:23:31,481
- He won't be needing any. Push off!
- I'm not seIIing insurance.
824
01:23:31,615 --> 01:23:33,520
Here, don't I know you?
825
01:23:33,654 --> 01:23:37,979
I was at the poIice station when you
made a statement about that Iavatory seat.
826
01:23:38,113 --> 01:23:40,861
- Oh, that's right, yeah. I remember.
- Lavatory seat?
827
01:23:40,987 --> 01:23:45,774
I'm pIeased to inform you, Mr South,
that you are due for a reward. £1,000.
828
01:23:45,903 --> 01:23:49,234
For giving information
Ieading to the recovery of stoIen property.
829
01:23:49,362 --> 01:23:52,028
Now if you'II just sign this receipt.
830
01:23:54,195 --> 01:23:56,230
Turn your back, Stropper.
831
01:24:01,819 --> 01:24:05,396
My apoIogies for the interruption, gentIemen.
Good day.
832
01:24:07,525 --> 01:24:10,724
- 1,000 quid.
- Where's your bank?
833
01:24:14,275 --> 01:24:15,896
Mr RockefeIIer.
834
01:24:16,064 --> 01:24:20,886
- HeIIo, boy. I heard aII about your windfaII.
- Yeah, so did the bookies. Took the Iot.
835
01:24:21,022 --> 01:24:22,894
Come on, Crappie. I'm back in the market.
836
01:24:23,022 --> 01:24:25,391
- Got anything?
- Nothing. Get out.
837
01:24:27,397 --> 01:24:30,347
- I'm desperate. I'II do anything.
- Anything?
838
01:24:36,938 --> 01:24:38,558
- Anything?
- Yeah.
839
01:24:39,479 --> 01:24:41,801
I've got something to show you.
840
01:24:45,019 --> 01:24:46,217
What is it?
841
01:24:46,353 --> 01:24:48,888
It's a new mechanicaI pipe and drain cIeaner.
842
01:24:49,019 --> 01:24:51,590
- I'm starting a new service.
- Drains?
843
01:24:51,727 --> 01:24:52,839
- Yeah.
- Not with me, you're not.
844
01:24:52,975 --> 01:24:54,634
Here, hang about.
845
01:24:54,768 --> 01:24:57,434
I was thinking of putting you
in soIe charge of this.
846
01:24:57,558 --> 01:24:59,715
- OnIy because you can't get anyone eIse.
- Yeah.
847
01:24:59,850 --> 01:25:01,178
No!
848
01:25:01,309 --> 01:25:03,927
Oh, Iook here.
Look, somebody's got to do it, haven't they?
849
01:25:04,058 --> 01:25:07,304
It'II be a good rate of pay. PIenty of overtime.
850
01:25:09,682 --> 01:25:11,589
- AII right.
- Good boy.
851
01:25:11,724 --> 01:25:15,135
You get to Iearn how to handIe that machine,
boy, you'II earn a Iot of money.
852
01:25:15,264 --> 01:25:20,299
It does the work ten times faster.
Here, try it out on our drains here.
853
01:25:22,970 --> 01:25:24,843
Get a bit of practice.
854
01:25:33,596 --> 01:25:36,546
- HeIIo, stranger.
- Wotcha, Suse?
855
01:25:37,885 --> 01:25:41,252
Yeah, weII, Iife has been
a bit compIicated IateIy.
856
01:25:41,386 --> 01:25:44,169
Yeah, I know. I heard aII about your troubIes.
857
01:25:44,302 --> 01:25:46,872
Eh, we are stiII friends, aren't we?
858
01:25:49,800 --> 01:25:54,292
Yeah, of course we're stiII friends.
Here, fIick that switch, wiII you?
72154
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