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ARCHER:
And so here's what I propose:
3
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We finish these, get some roadies,
head back to my huge penthouse...
4
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...drink chilled champagne
served by my valet--
5
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Isn't it pronounced "valet"?
6
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Only if he's parking your car.
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Then we slip into my new hot tub
and see where the evening takes us.
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Well, I have to wait until my friend
comes back from the powder room.
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Obviously we're gonna wait for her.
She's the hot one.
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Pig!
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00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:30,830
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Uh, I'm sorry, is something funny?
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Just that last part,
where she slapped you.
15
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Yeah? You like physical humor?
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Depends on the situation.
Ow.
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You okay?
No, I'm not o-- Oh, my God.
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You're Burt Reynolds.
Yes, I am.
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And if I let you up,
are you gonna do anything stupid?
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No, no, I'm not.
22
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Hi, Sterling Archer.
Sterling Archer?
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Yeah, you heard of me? Right?
Well, just from your--
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Press clippings. Hard to stay anonymous
when you're the world's greatest secret agent.
25
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Calling yourself that can't help.
Hang on, true story. Operation C.I.A.?
26
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That movie's basically why
I became a secret agent in the first place.
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Really?
Yes.
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That movie was just god-awful.
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What's awful is I almost punched you.
Heh, heh. No, you didn't.
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I've seen all your other movies
like five times.
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Sam Whiskey, Navajo Joe, Fuzz, Hooper,
Shamus, Shark, The Longest Yard...
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...Deliverance, the Smokeys,
White Lightning, obviously Gator.
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Oh, I even saw At Long Last Love.
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Yeah, yeah. Well--
I thought you were great.
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Really?
I mean...
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Well, I wanted to.
Me too.
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Listen, I kind of have a date.
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No, no, no, Mr. Reynolds, wait.
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Sorry. Let me buy you a drink.
I wanna tell you my idea for a Gator sequel.
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Gator was a sequel.
I know.
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And this will be the final chapter
in the McKlusky trilogy.
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Trilogy? Huh.
Yeah, with twice as many airboats as Gator.
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Twice as many would be none.
What? Gator had--
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Speedboats, not airboats.
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Really? Are you sure?
I'm pretty sure. I directed it.
46
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Okay, but this one has airboats,
and they're central to the plot.
47
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It sounds great, kid, but like I said,
I kind of have a date--
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I get it. You gonna take her upstairs
and give her The Longest Yard?
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Uh, heh--
WOMAN: Yoo-hoo!
50
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Mother? What are you doing here?
51
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What are you doing here?
I'm kicking it with--
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Burt? Oh, no. No.
Yeah. Yeah.
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Remember how I said I kind of have a date?
Oh...
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It's kind of with your mom.
Oh, Burt Reynolds.
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I hope that's not gonna be a problem.
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MALORY:
Oh, please!
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Burt Reynolds didn't give you a black eye,
the floor did.
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When you fainted like a schoolgirl.
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It was an involuntary reaction, Mother...
61
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...to seeing you all tarted up
to meet my hero in a hotel bar for sex.
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Oh, for-- We were meeting for drinks.
I mean, obviously sex was implied, but--
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Ugh!
And since when is he your hero?
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Since always!
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Eastbound and down
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I thought that was Richard Petty.
Which doesn't even merit a response.
67
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And you cannot date Burt Reynolds.
Can, am, and will continue to do so.
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I'm serious, I will do something drastic.
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You will not. Mainly because you've got
bigger things to worry about.
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I'll be the judge of-- A Cuban hit squad
is in New York to kill me?
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Apparently.
This intel's a week old.
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Why are you just telling me about it now?
Because.
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Pick up, Sterling. Pick up, pick--
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ARCHER : Hello?
Sterling, dear, it's me. There's--
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Voicemail. You know what to do.
Oh, for God's sake.
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ARCHER: Hello? Oh, man. Hold on.
Sterling? Sterling, dear, it's me.
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Hold on, hold on! Hang on.
Pick up, Sterling.
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79
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I got it.
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Sterling?
Don't hang up!
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ARCHER: Hello?
Sterling, it's--
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Elaborate voice-mail hoax-
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Leave it.
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86
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And then I just forgot about it,
because that same night, I met--
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CHERYL :
Bun' Reynolds is on line one!
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Oh...
For you, for some reason.
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Burt, dear, what a lovely surprise.
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BURT: I'm sitting here with just a mustache
and memories of last night.
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Oh, Burt.
Ugh!
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Also a blanket.
The AC in my room's stuck on freeze.
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Deliverance, Gator,
and this is him in Cosmo.
95
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How totally hot is he?!
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I swear to God, you could drown a toddler
in my panties right now.
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I mean, not that you would, but--
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Hey!
ARCHER: Shut up!
99
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You're not my supervisor!
100
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Wait, who is my supervisor?
101
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MALORY: Carol!
Oh, right.
102
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Go get my gray fox out of cold storage.
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Burt Reynolds is taking me
to a movie premiere tonight, so--
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Help me, God, if you throw
that computer on the floor again...
105
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...you'll wake up in a mental ward with
total amnesia under someone else's name!
106
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That's actually kind of scary.
Eh.
107
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Wouldn't be the first time.
108
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Archer, hey, about this expense report--
Not now, Cyril.
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Mother is ruining what remains of my life
before a Cuban hit squad assassinates me, so--
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111
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112
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Yeah, laugh it up, Lana.
I am.
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You almost got shot in the face.
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Get off.
You get off.
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Cyril, I'm pretty tense right now.
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Because of the Cubans or because
Burt Reynolds is doing your mom?
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Yeah, laugh it up.
I am.
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Cyril--
Burt Reynolds is actually banging--
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Ow! Unh.
Archer!
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You broke my freaking nose!
What's that?
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Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound
of "I broke your nose."
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Bullying Cyril isn't gonna make
Burt Reynolds stop shtupping your mom.
124
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He's not doing that!
125
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But even if he is, which he is--
No, he isn't!
126
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--This Cuban hit squad is no joke.
If I were you, I'd lay low in the safe house...
127
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...for a few days until
we work out a plan to neutralize them.
128
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Oh. Yeah, okay. The safe house.
129
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I'm sorry, your words made sense,
but your sarcastic tone did not.
130
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Because there are no Cubans.
Uh...
131
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Mother just wants me out of the way..-...
132
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...so she can do unspeakable things
with Burt Reynolds.
133
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So nice try, idiot.
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I love it that I'm the idiot.
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MALORY: So unless the building is
literally on fire, none of you are to call me.
136
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Because, as I may have mentioned--
Fifty times.
137
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--Tonight I will be attending
a movie premiere with Burt Reynolds.
138
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Oh, my God, that totally reminds me.
This came for you. From him.
139
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And you opened it?
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That's how I knew it was from him.
Give me that.
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“Dear Malory, it's been--"
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"Dear Malory, it's been real,
but I'm dumping you for a young starlet...
144
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...and heading back to Tinseltown.
145
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Do not contact me.
Regards, Burt Reynolds."
146
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MALORY:
"Regards"? They weren't even warmest!
147
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Wait a minute. Who calls it Tinseltown?
Carol Channing?
148
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Or somebody who just thinks
that's what movie stars call Hollywood.
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Stockard Channing.
150
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Archer. His mother, dating his man-crush?
151
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How?
I bet Archer kidnapped him-
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Archer goes to Burt's hotel room.
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Archer?
Burt.
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LANA: Knocks him out--
CHERYL: Archer knocks out Burt Reynolds?
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LANA: With gas.
Oh, shit.
156
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And then hides him somewhere,
like an idiot kid hiding a lamp he broke.
157
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You really think he'd do that?
ARCHER: Yes, really.
158
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I'm serious. If you ever go near
my mother again...
159
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...I will do something really bad.
160
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Then you should probably
just get it over with.
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Don't worry, I-- Wait, what?
162
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Because if you don't kill me and I get loose...
163
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...you're gonna wish you were in hell
with your back broke.
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I don't have a response to that.
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They never do.
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MALORY:
It's my own fault. I should've known.
168
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,710
They tell you they love you
and then they just cast you aside...
169
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:17,589
...when some young starlet catches their eye
with her perky little boobs!
170
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:21,923
Mm. I bet they were perky and big.
Jeez--! Ow!
171
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Why are you torturing her like that?
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Why are you asking rhetorical questions?
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174
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Aw. That's actually kind of sad.
All right, here's the plan.
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I say we go rescue Bur': Reynolds,
and as a bonus...
176
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...beat some sense into Archer's
head and ass.
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Yeah! Right in the head and ass.
178
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,562
So, Pam, Carol, stay here with Malory.
Everybody else, let's go to Archer's.
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He's got a Cuban hit squad after him.
Why wouldn't he go to the safe house?
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00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:48,904
A, because he thinks they're imaginary,
and B, the safe house doesn't have a--
181
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New hot tub! Fifty jets, hand-hewn
California redwood, no big deal.
182
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The California redwood is endangered.
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So? I already got my tub.
184
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Woodhouse, Burt Reynolds.
Burt, Woodhouse.
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00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,674
Hi.
Loved you in Gone with the Wind.
186
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,801
Not him. Shut up, get him a drink.
187
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,212
What's your poison?
188
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Pimm's Cup.
Odd choice.
189
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,882
Well, the whole thing's pretty odd.
190
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,143
What's odd is you wanting
to date my mother.
191
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,929
Why is that odd?
Because you're you, and she's--
192
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,599
Beautiful, smart, funny, successful.
Mm. Like, one of those, tops.
193
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,485
Not to mention drop-dead sexy.
Oh, dear God, yes.
194
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,486
Woodhouse!
I shall fetch a cucumber.
195
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,818
You have to not date my mother.
Can't do it.
196
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:27,109
Can't or--?
Won't, whatever. Pick one.
197
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:30,245
Then here's what's gonna happen.
You'll drink your Pimm's Cup--
198
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,407
Which is exciting. Never had one.
Mm-hm. Then I'm gonna knock you out.
199
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:37,874
You'll wake up in a mental hospital with
total amnesia, under someone else's name.
200
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,006
Now that's an idea for a movie.
Yeah, I think it already was.
201
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,541
I wasn't in it.
Maybe not--
202
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Fade in: a mental ward.
White walls, white sheets...
203
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,054
...nurses in crisp white uniforms...
204
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,137
...broken men shuffle like zombies.
205
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:54,269
We see a hospital wristband
on a man's arm, John Doe.
206
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:59,558
And we slowly tilt up to see a man's face:
Gator McKlusky.
207
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:00,771
208
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,403
And he's looking out the window,
the afternoon sun on his face.
209
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,360
A spark of recognition in his eyes.
Know what he's looking at?
210
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,821
No.
The Okefenokee Swamp.
211
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,530
There's a mental hospital there?
212
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,867
Right on the water.
And guess what's tied up out there at the dock.
213
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,624
An airboat! And the head nurse falls
in love with him...
214
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,502
...and finds out who he really is,
so she helps him escape.
215
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:22,505
And they get chased by dirty cops,
but in the end they win!
216
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,758
And you just got a screenplay credit.
217
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,634
For real?
Yeah, maybe even--
218
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,545
Your Pimm's Cup,
sir.
219
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,213
Doesn't it come in a silver chalice?
220
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,849
Uh, that would be a pimp cup, sir.
221
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,054
Oh.
222
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,391
I hate to sound Hollywood,
but could you put my Pimm's Cup in a--?
223
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,976
Pimp cup? Certainly.
224
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,982
It would be an honor, Mr. Gable.
225
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,394
ARCHER: Maybe even what?
Executive producer.
226
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,154
Executive producer?! But I'm not...
227
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,406
...falling for that, you big liar.
228
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,159
You're not gonna make that movie.
Oh, I absolutely am.
229
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:55,618
And once your ISIS buddies find out
that you kidnapped me and come find me...
230
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,908
...I'm gonna give them all an EP credit.
231
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,793
No, you're not.
So drink your stupid Pimm's Cup--
232
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Yeah, where are we with the chalice?
233
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,415
--Because nobody is coming for you, Burt.
234
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,085
And especially nobody from ISIS.
LANA: Okay.
235
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,595
Don't take this the wrong way...
236
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:14,178
...but I'm kind of wondering how
you're gonna be an effective field agent.
237
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,342
Interesting, coming from a woman.
238
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,352
Excuse me?
Burn.
239
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,558
MAN:
Eh?
240
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,473
241
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,312
242
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,328
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I'm all for affirmative action, but--
243
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,614
Oh, my God. Okay, first of all--
244
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,453
Hey, guys?
LANA: Zip it, nerds!
245
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,166
I was twice the agent you were when
your legs worked, so don't hand me that--
246
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,454
Shit!
What the--?
247
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,622
Duck!
248
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,925
Aah!
And this conversation isn't over!
249
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,301
Isn't it?!
250
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,509
No, no, no! My brand-new van!
251
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,592
Holy shit! Lana! Hang on!
252
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,098
Cuban hit squad! I gotta go!
253
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,938
Would you go?!
I can't yet!
254
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:05,020
And now I-- Sorry.
Now I do actually see your point.
255
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,106
CYRIL:
Krieger, go!
256
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,697
257
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:15,653
Damn, Krieger can't outrun anything
with all that handicapped shit.
258
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,492
I gotta go after them,
but this conversation is not over.
259
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:19,781
You'll never catch them.
260
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,246
Yes, I will!
No, you won't. I've seen you drive.
261
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,786
Heh, heh.
You drive like an egg.
262
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,330
You think you can outdrive me?
263
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,918
And I'll bet on it.
Go on.
264
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:32,006
If I don't catch them,
I will just ride off into the sunset.
265
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:35,638
Where they don't have telephones
to ever call my mother again ever?
266
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,799
On my word. And if I do catch them--
267
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,809
You keep dating my mother,
yeah, got it.
268
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:43,893
And since we've wasted a shitload of
time already, I feel pretty good about this bet.
269
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:47,184
So let's do this!
270
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,352
271
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,943
You're kidding me.
It drives me nuts.
272
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,953
It's like the world's slowest elevator.
273
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,531
This is like the
world's slowest van!
274
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,541
It's all this handicapped shit!
275
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:07,295
Jesus, God, I get your point!
276
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:11,590
You should get a Bat-Pole.
277
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,126
Nine thousand bucks.
What?
278
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,136
Lowest quote I got.
That's ridiculous.
279
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,219
For just putting a pole
where the garbage chute already is.
280
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:21,635
But the co-op board was like,
"But what'll we do with the garbage?"
281
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,271
Yeah, but you could still throw it down the--
Whatever, the same shaft.
282
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,149
I know.
And then you'll have some garbage to land on.
283
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,602
If you're coming in hot, I know,
it's a win-win.
284
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,863
And you were gonna pay for it yourself,
no assessment or anything.
285
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,274
YEP-
286
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,322
Ridiculous.
Preaching to the choir, buddy.
287
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,827
288
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:43,035
That's not your car, is it?
Yeah, why?
289
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,577
Nothing, just didn't know
they sold those to men.
290
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,791
Yeah, laugh it up, Burt.
I am.
291
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,955
292
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,421
293
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,641
Heh, heh, heh.
Burt, it's too fast! You're going too fast!
294
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,269
No such thing.
Yes, such thing. Slow down.
295
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:08,056
BURT: Don't you wanna help your friends?
ARCHER: I don't care about them.
296
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,600
You do. You just pretend you don't
because you're afraid of--
297
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,814
298
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,149
Dying in this freaking car!
299
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,404
BURT:
Emotional intimacy.
300
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,689
Oh, my God, you--
301
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,449
LANA :
You are such an asshole!
302
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,361
Lana! Lana, we're coming to help.
Where are you?
303
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:26,120
Heading north on the FDR at 60th.
Getting shot at by your damn Cubans.
304
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,080
Which is totally not cool!
305
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,119
Great. Now tell her to keep going north.
306
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,130
Doesn't matter, we can't catch them.
We're all the way acr-- Oh, shit!
307
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,632
308
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,464
We'll catch them. I know a shortcut.
309
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,505
What--? How?
I did a TV series here called Hawk.
310
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,047
I forgot about Hawk!
311
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,138
He was part Indian.
Right!
312
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,054
313
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,690
Whoa. Now it's officially a chase.
Hooray!
314
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,647
BURT: You know what your problem is?
ARCHER: My pants are wet?
315
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:57,314
You only see your mother as your mother.
But she's also a person.
316
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,108
She has hopes and dreams
and fears and needs.
317
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,446
Don't make it weirder.
318
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,658
Not sexual needs-- Well, maybe those too.
319
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:09,497
--But personal, professional, all that stuff
that makes a person who they are.
320
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,663
And until you-- Oops. Hang on.
What--?
321
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,385
Holy shit! Burt Reynolds!
322
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,764
Hey, if you just pay attention,
you might just learn something here.
323
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:27,143
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound
of my giant throbbing erection.
324
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:28,849
325
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,434
How about now?
It's gone. I'm all ears.
326
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,520
Good, because my point is--
327
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,731
Oh, wait, wait. You're gonna wanna see this.
328
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,520
See wh--? No!
329
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,904
Burt, no!
330
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,110
331
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,945
Please, don't do this.
332
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:45,870
Oh, shit!
333
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,539
My pants are now literally wet.
334
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,170
And my point is,
until you can look at your mother...
335
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,672
...and see her not just as your mother...
336
00:15:56,831 --> 00:16:00,677
...but as a person, a real person,
you can't grow up.
337
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,345
Huh.
Food for thought.
338
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,757
And if I were you,
I'd come to terms with that...
339
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,096
...because I plan to be seeing a lot of her.
340
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,559
Oh, uh... By "a lot of her," I mean--
I get it.
341
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,895
But I guess you're out of luck,
because we had a...
342
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:16,726
...bet. Goddamn it.
343
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,736
Now what do you say we have some fun?
344
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,272
Whatever.
345
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,690
346
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,403
Oh, my God, not the van.
347
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,740
Will you please drive straight?!
348
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,038
No, serpentine, serpentine!
349
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,165
350
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,371
351
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,161
Oh, hello.
Hello.
352
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,750
353
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,462
Holy shit! It's Burt Reynolds!
354
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,712
355
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:43,799
Now watch what I do right here.
Yeah, duh, I only invented it.
356
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:47,761
Oh, well, nice to meet you, Hal Needham.
Whatever.
357
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:49,850
358
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,352
359
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,984
Ha, ha, ha.
That was actually pretty sweet.
360
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:02,272
Oh, looks like we're in danger
of a frown turning upside-down.
361
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,031
Cut it out, that tickles.
362
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,533
Heh, heh, heh.
Burt, come on.
363
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,943
364
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,281
Cut it out.
365
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,788
Burt, watch the goddamn road.
Oh, shit.
366
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:12,828
Sorry about that.
367
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,368
You should be.
That was totally irresponsible.
368
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,787
369
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,007
370
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,962
Kick-ass!
Stupid villains!
371
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,380
Wait, was that the same footage?
372
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,890
373
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,309
LANA: Thanks, Bud!
Anytime, darling.
374
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,095
But you probably wanna go ahead
and slow down.
375
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,388
LANA:
Oh, shit!
376
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,808
Krieger, brakes!
KRIEGER: I am!
377
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,648
They're not doing anything!
We're gonna die!
378
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:44,280
A round must have cut the brake line!
That's okay, I got it.
379
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,906
What do you mean you g--? Oh, shit!
380
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,658
381
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,827
Um...
382
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,079
Unh!
Hang on, everybody.
383
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,495
384
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,998
385
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,674
Everybody okay?
386
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,343
I'm okay.
I may need a doctor.
387
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:16,809
Okay?! No, we're not okay!
388
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:18,848
Look at Vanispheres!
389
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,767
No, we okay.
390
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,185
Don't you touch me!
391
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,776
Uh-- Is that a ghost?
No, no, it's-- Never mind.
392
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,360
We're good. Thank you, Burt.
393
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,367
Oh, no, don't thank me, thank, uh...
394
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,824
Uh, you--
Right, right.
395
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,958
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I think we can still make that movie premiere.
396
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,539
Ah! You're taking me to the premiere?
397
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,875
Leave me for some hot little 20-year-old?
398
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,961
Well, I'll show him.
I'll go find me a 10-year-old!
399
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,255
Ew!
Yeah, I don't think you wanna do that.
400
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:53,675
Shut up.
Okay. Taxi!
401
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,680
402
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,678
You!
Malory, wait, I can--
403
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,689
Save it! Nobody wants your...
Mother, Burt--
404
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,268
...mustache rides around here, buster!
405
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:07,484
Oh! Oh, my God.
Listen, Burt didn't write the note. I did.
406
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,571
You what?
I know, I'm sorry, I--
407
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,950
Ow. Ow. Ow!
408
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,531
What is wrong with you?!
409
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,662
A lot, actually.
He's kind of a mess.
410
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,743
I am too. Look at me. Raccoon eyes...
411
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,161
I think you look beautiful.
412
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,627
And I for one would love
to walk you down the red carpet.
413
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:28,384
And I for one would be delighted.
414
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,670
Have a good time, Mother.
415
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,258
And I honestly mean that.
416
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,968
Oh, blow it out your ass.
417
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,428
418
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,592
419
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,261
Oh, Burt!
420
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,561
Oh, Burt Reynolds is so freaking awesome.
421
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,896
Yeah, he actually kind of is.
422
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:50,941
And I for one am gonna go watch Hooper
and masturbate till my fingers bleed.
423
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,027
Just tape them up.
424
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,272
32898
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