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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:03,950 Yes, yeah! 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,820 Whoo! 3 00:00:05,820 --> 00:00:07,490 Yeah! 4 00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:09,360 Yes! Whoo! 5 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,960 Chug, Francine! Whoo! 6 00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:16,700 Whoo! 7 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:19,700 Whoa, what's the party for? 8 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,640 Stan's uncle died! 9 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,370 And left us a ton of cash, baby. 10 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,310 A toast to me. 11 00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:27,510 I told you if we stayed in touch 12 00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:28,910 with Uncle Mitch it would pay off. 13 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:30,380 Is this why you always laughed 14 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:32,250 at his terrible racist jokes? 15 00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:34,250 Yeah, it's one of the reasons. 16 00:00:36,050 --> 00:00:39,260 I guess we should talk about what to do with this 5 grand. 17 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,520 How about a trip? 18 00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:41,860 Maybe to New York. 19 00:00:41,860 --> 00:00:43,790 I've always wanted to try a calzone. 20 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,260 Calzone? 21 00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:47,400 It's New York City, baby. 22 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,530 I'm getting a turkey sandwich. 23 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,470 A trip? What a waste of money. 24 00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:52,540 Why don't we just pour the cash 25 00:00:52,540 --> 00:00:53,870 down the drain with Uncle Mitch? 26 00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:55,810 We need to invest this money. 27 00:00:55,810 --> 00:00:57,740 I think we all just want a vacation. 28 00:00:57,740 --> 00:00:59,940 We just went on that trip to Fort Lauderdale. 29 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:02,610 Sure, it was fun at the time, but look at us now. 30 00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:03,880 We have nothing to show for it. 31 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,020 We have all the great family memories. 32 00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:07,350 Memories are useless. 33 00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:08,550 What can I do with memories? 34 00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:09,820 Write a memoir? 35 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,150 You think I'm the new Chelsea Handler? 36 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,420 Well, I'm not. There's only one Chelsea Handler 37 00:01:13,430 --> 00:01:14,760 and she's a goddess. 38 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,830 Dad, we all worship Chelsea Handler. 39 00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:18,090 Keep her name out of your mouth! 40 00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:19,960 Let's have a family vote. 41 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:24,430 Who wants to use the money to buy a vacation to New York? 42 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,000 Who's for investing the money? 43 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:32,110 Oh, yeah! Uncle Mitch is dead! 44 00:01:34,650 --> 00:01:36,980 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 45 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:41,180 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 46 00:01:41,190 --> 00:01:44,190 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 47 00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:48,590 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 48 00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:53,730 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 49 00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:56,330 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 50 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:57,430 Aah! 51 00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:01,970 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 52 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,340 I thought we were booking our New York trip. 53 00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:08,750 Why are we at Costco? 54 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,210 Someone's not listening to my podcast. 55 00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:13,420 Costco has a travel agency. I devoted a whole... 56 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:21,090 We need those leather jackets if we are going to New York. 57 00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:24,090 Stan, we can't go to New York without leather jackets. 58 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,100 Lena Dunham will kick our asses. 59 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,360 We may have our differences, but I'm not an idiot. 60 00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:31,700 I know we need leather jackets to go to New York. 61 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,640 Okay, you guys grab the jackets. 62 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:34,910 I'm gonna go and talk to a travel agent 63 00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:36,670 and get us a sweet deal. 64 00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:39,910 I want to book a trip to New York. 65 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,710 All right, when would you like to fly out? 66 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:44,850 Fly? Who am I, the CEO of Amazon? 67 00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:46,920 I want to say John or Josh something. 68 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,920 How much will you charge me if I walk there? 69 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,190 Um, nothing. 70 00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,190 That's a good start. 71 00:02:51,190 --> 00:02:53,060 Excuse me, but I've been listening, 72 00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:56,390 and I can tell you are someone who knows the value of a dollar. 73 00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:57,730 I do! Come with me. 74 00:02:57,730 --> 00:02:59,800 I like this. Not enough strangers 75 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,860 physically escort you places. 76 00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:06,540 Today's your lucky day, 77 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:07,740 because I'm about to offer you 78 00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:10,840 a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 79 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:35,500 I'm offering you the North American rights 80 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,500 to the off-Broadway show "Stomp," 81 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,900 all for the low price of... 82 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,570 I will pay whatever you want. 83 00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,910 Stan, where did you go? 84 00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:50,180 Costco search and rescue looked for hours 85 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,580 and then declared you legally dead. 86 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:53,920 We just read your will. 87 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,790 I'm glad you're alive, but for the record, 88 00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:58,250 my basketball is not yours to give away. 89 00:03:58,260 --> 00:03:59,860 Well, you're gonna forget all about that 90 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:00,990 when you hear my news. 91 00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:03,530 Ow! 92 00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:04,590 What is he doing? 93 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,860 Mama, make him stop! 94 00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,860 Stan, you're upsetting the children. 95 00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:09,200 Fine. 96 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,730 Does anyone in this family like Broadway? 97 00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:13,870 Really, Dad? We're going to Broadway?! 98 00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:16,670 Nope, Broadway is coming to us. 99 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,140 What'd you say, Big Daddy? 100 00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:21,480 I used the vacation money to buy "Stomp." 101 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,150 Wait, is "Stomp" the one where they're all painted blue? 102 00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:25,550 No, that's "Jersey Boys." 103 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,820 "Stomp" was a huge Broadway hit in the '90s 104 00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:29,350 that put New York on the map. 105 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:31,420 It incorporates rhythms, acrobatics, 106 00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,960 pantomime, and brooms! Here, watch this. 107 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,300 The [bleep] was that? 108 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,630 The family voted for a vacation. 109 00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,900 This is so much better than a vacation. 110 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,300 We're gonna make buttloads of money 111 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,240 and then you can buy all the memories you want. 112 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,940 You, sir, have broken a buttload of hearts. 113 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,510 Stan, I love this. 114 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,980 I've always wanted to be part of a Broadway show. 115 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,580 Ooh, can I be your assistant? 116 00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,180 Really? Yeah, sure. 117 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:02,250 My first order of business will be to fetch you some sorbet 118 00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,590 in the shape of a penis. 119 00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:04,790 What? Why? 120 00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:06,260 I'm trying to show initiative. 121 00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:07,790 I thought you'd be happy. 122 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,860 Oh, please don't tell me you're one of those bosses 123 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:17,860 who can never be happy. 124 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:21,270 Hideki, first thing... Love the picture and résumé. 125 00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:24,740 You don't see a lot of nudes. 126 00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:27,710 I'll just, uh, hang on to this. 127 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,950 Rockin' Ronnie here with Stan Smith, 128 00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:33,680 the man who's given this whole town 129 00:05:33,690 --> 00:05:36,090 a terrible case of "Stomp" fever. 130 00:05:36,090 --> 00:05:37,690 Stan, people are going bonkers 131 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,090 waiting for your show to open. 132 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,560 Let's take some callers. 133 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,490 I love "Stomp," 134 00:05:42,490 --> 00:05:45,830 and I was sadly out of town for the audition process, 135 00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:48,630 so I'd like to audition now. 136 00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:50,700 Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! 137 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:51,840 Clap, clap! 138 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,700 Broom, broom, broom! 139 00:05:53,710 --> 00:05:55,570 Trash can lids! 140 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:57,170 Brooooom! 141 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:59,840 Yeah, everyone's very excited. 142 00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,110 What do you say we give some tickets away 143 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,250 at the top of the hour? Wish we could 144 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,450 but the show's all sold out. 145 00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,720 Why are you here promoting the show 146 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,250 if it's totally sold out? 147 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,790 Why don't you ever play Toad the Wet Sprocket? 148 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:14,320 Because Toad slept with my wife, Stan. 149 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:17,660 Awkwaaard! 150 00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:22,400 It's cray-cray-donkulous. 151 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,130 Ever since you bought "Stomp," 152 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:27,600 I've been getting the most amazing treatment around town. 153 00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:28,870 See these earrings? 154 00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:32,080 Everyone at CVS saw me shoplift them, 155 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,080 but nobody said nothing. 156 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,010 My weed dealer let me play with his tarantula. 157 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:39,020 Principal Lewis showed up in my math class 158 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,080 and presented me with an old bowling trophy. 159 00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:42,350 It was pretty cool. 160 00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:44,220 He was sweating pretty bad. 161 00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:48,230 For Mr. "Stomp" and his family, compliments of the chef. 162 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,030 Wow, Dad, I'm sorry. 163 00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:53,160 Buying "Stomp" was a great idea. 164 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:55,300 Guys, you don't have to apologize. 165 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:59,500 A simple singing of the "Wrong Song" is all I need. 166 00:06:59,510 --> 00:07:02,170 ♪ You were right, so, so right ♪ 167 00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:04,370 ♪ And we were oh, so wrong ♪ 168 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:06,840 ♪ You are smart and we are dumb ♪ 169 00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:09,580 ♪ That's why we sing this song ♪ 170 00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:14,850 ♪ We're idiooots ♪ 171 00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,790 Man, if that house was any more packed, 172 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:22,990 it'd be my wife's suitcase 173 00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:25,060 when we're just going away for the weekend. 174 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:32,340 We want 'Stomp'! 175 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:33,340 Opening night. 176 00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:34,600 Feel the electricity. 177 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,670 How's my cast? 178 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:36,810 To tell you the truth, 179 00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,270 we're a little nervous, Stan. 180 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,610 We haven't rehearsed at all. 181 00:07:39,610 --> 00:07:41,610 In fact, we never even met the director. 182 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:44,010 Director? What do you think this is, a movie? 183 00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,680 You didn't hire a director? 184 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,220 All the direction you need is right there in the title... 185 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,490 Stomp. Just go out there and do it. 186 00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:52,960 Feet, broom, floor. Now, come on, 187 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,220 this audience paid 100 bucks a ticket. 188 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,630 Let's give them their money's worth. 189 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,910 What the frick is this?! 190 00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:14,040 We got to get the hell out of here. 191 00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:17,250 Well, bad news... 192 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,320 The angry mob destroyed my SUV. 193 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,250 But good news, they spared Jeff's van. 194 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,920 That "coexist" bumper sticker 195 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,320 has gotten me out of a lot of jams. 196 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,390 Religion is the great unifier. 197 00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:30,590 Oh, look at that, 198 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,330 our house is on fire. 199 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,340 Three weeks on the road and we're broke. 200 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:41,200 This Luna Bar is our last meal until... 201 00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:43,470 we start eating the leather jackets. 202 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,010 - Never! - Never! 203 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,140 Look, I'm sorry, guys, 204 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,210 but this is what you wanted, right? 205 00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:49,550 We're making memories. 206 00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:51,680 Remember when that coyote attacked Steve? 207 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,820 Or how about when the coyote attacked Hayley? 208 00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,420 And who can forget... Yes, we all remember 209 00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,820 that coyote you tried to domesticate. 210 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,160 Nice leather jackets. 211 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,230 Big fan. 212 00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:06,560 License and registration. 213 00:09:06,570 --> 00:09:08,700 Sir, this isn't your registration. 214 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,840 It's... the North American rights to "Stomp"? 215 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,170 You should do a show here. 216 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,170 Sorry, but our theater days are behind us. 217 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:16,310 He's kidding. 218 00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:17,570 We're still doing "Stomp," 219 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,840 and we're bringing it to your town. 220 00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,040 Spread the word. 221 00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:22,050 You got it! 222 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:25,520 Hey, I'll miss you guys. 223 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,780 Francine, what are you doing? 224 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,050 We don't have any performers. 225 00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:29,450 We'll be the performers, 226 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:32,320 and this time, we'll do it right. 227 00:09:34,730 --> 00:09:35,590 You ripped us off! 228 00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:38,530 What the hell? 229 00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,730 I thought we were gonna do "Stomp" for real this time. 230 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:43,600 We were going to, but it just seemed like 231 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:44,600 a whole lot of work. 232 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,740 So while you were out selling tickets, 233 00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:47,600 we were drinking 40s 234 00:09:47,610 --> 00:09:49,140 and getting super into tetherball. 235 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:50,940 I started out the worst, Stan, 236 00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,410 but now I'm second best. 237 00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:55,610 We realized we could just say we were putting on a show 238 00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:57,610 and then drive away with all the ticket money. 239 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,820 So now we go from town to town doing this. 240 00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:02,290 Ripping people off? 241 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:03,550 Won't that make us bad people? 242 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,220 No, we're tricking them, and in my experience, 243 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,690 people love being tricked. 244 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,830 Hey, Jeff, what's that over there? 245 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,030 See? Well, I'm sold. 246 00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:17,570 And I'm a famously tough sell. 247 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:27,040 And the dancers are always going... 248 00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,310 What else do they do? 249 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,650 Oh, you're gonna have 250 00:10:31,650 --> 00:10:35,520 to buy a ticket to find out. 251 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,720 Surprise! 252 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:37,850 It's me, Hayley! 253 00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:39,460 Who the hell is Hayley? 254 00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:41,460 The gal with the "Stomp" tickets. 255 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,800 Ah, that's a gimme. 256 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,200 Why don't you celebrate your hole in one with a little... 257 00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:56,870 Wait, I know what this stranger's talking about. 258 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,480 It's "Stomp"! 259 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,810 Young man, those are expensive golf clubs. 260 00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:04,880 You can't bang 'em around like some "Problem Child 2." 261 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,080 Or can you? 262 00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:12,760 Here's 50 bucks. 263 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,690 And you just bought yourself a ticket to "Stomp." 264 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,090 But I was only paying for the blow... 265 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,500 That was free! 266 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,970 Hot damn, it feels good to rip people off! 267 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:27,300 Oh, man, look at those small-town morons chasing us. 268 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,510 Stan, slow down a little. 269 00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:30,310 Steve, why don't you serve our friends up 270 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,480 a little pressed ham. 271 00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:39,050 Oh, yeah, they're hungry for it, Steve. 272 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:45,460 Roger, I told you to go to the gas station today. 273 00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,920 I did, but there were some college kids there 274 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,260 and I wanted to impress them 275 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,460 and I couldn't think of anything cool, 276 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,860 so I deepthroated the nozzle 277 00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,600 and guzzled $80 of gas. 278 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,400 You idiot! Relax. Just punch it when I say. 279 00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:02,740 Guys, th-this ham's getting overcooked. 280 00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:04,670 You can pull up your pants at any time. 281 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,140 Go, go! 282 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:07,740 Ahh. 283 00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:11,950 Look at me. 284 00:12:11,950 --> 00:12:14,550 I got my son's ass against my window, 285 00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,550 my alien's dick in my gas tank, 286 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,890 and nothing but the open road in front of me. 287 00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:21,960 And here comes God with the cherry on top. 288 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,160 Let's celebrate. 289 00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:25,760 ♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪ 290 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,170 ♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪ 291 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,310 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 292 00:12:36,310 --> 00:12:40,110 ♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪ 293 00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:41,240 ♪ Ba du bop, ba du ♪ 294 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:46,050 Did someone order a ham slider? 295 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:48,190 Yeah, yeah! 296 00:12:48,190 --> 00:12:50,820 Being mean is fun! 297 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:58,060 Another day, another town full of suckers. 298 00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,260 Patron of the arts. 299 00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:01,260 More like morons of the farts. 300 00:13:01,270 --> 00:13:03,200 What a way with words. 301 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,470 Give me some of that silver tongue. 302 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,800 Yeah! French him, Mom. 303 00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:11,670 Look who's skipping out again. 304 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,810 Sorry, we don't remember you. 305 00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,340 We've swindled a lot of people. 306 00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:17,210 Funny. Let's see how funny you are 307 00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:18,720 with my gun in your mouth. 308 00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:29,690 Okay, that was funny. 309 00:13:29,690 --> 00:13:31,230 But that doesn't change the fact 310 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,230 that you guys are in deep trouble. 311 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,960 If you want your money back, sorry, 312 00:13:34,970 --> 00:13:36,830 we spent all of it to have Young MC play 313 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,240 at Klaus' birthday party. 314 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,500 It was freezing out. 315 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,040 For some reason, he wore shorts. 316 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,570 He said he wasn't cold, but he had goose bumps 317 00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:44,040 all over his legs. 318 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,110 That's all I can remember. 319 00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,510 Well, if we can't get our money, 320 00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:49,580 we're getting that show. 321 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:52,950 And it better be good, or else you're dead. 322 00:13:56,990 --> 00:13:58,860 Do it! 323 00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:22,210 Are we good at this? 324 00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,480 How is it possible? 325 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,950 I guess during the past year 326 00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,550 when we were pitching the show, 327 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,220 we must've learned how to stomp. 328 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,370 Stop the play! 329 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:50,710 I'm from New York City. 330 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:52,310 He's wearing a scarf! 331 00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:53,580 Let him speak! 332 00:14:53,580 --> 00:14:55,240 I'm a producer... 333 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:56,510 A very important person 334 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,250 to a very small segment of people. 335 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:01,780 You simply must come with me and do this show on Broadway. 336 00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:03,050 Did you hear that, family? 337 00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:04,990 We finally get to go to New York City. 338 00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:09,530 Mm! I can almost taste that Times Square turkey. 339 00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:12,400 And we got what we wanted... Half a show. 340 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,530 Good luck in New York! 341 00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:16,930 Wait. 342 00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:19,070 There's one thing that stands 343 00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:21,600 between you and New York City. 344 00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:23,670 Do you have a leather jacket? 345 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,540 We have 10. 346 00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:33,950 Stomp! 347 00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:35,020 Mazel tov! 348 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,490 Let's go Mets and Yankees! 349 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,620 Our clam chowder is red! 350 00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,890 Francine, Hayley, Steve? 351 00:15:41,890 --> 00:15:44,760 Anyone up for a little tai chi in Central P? 352 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,900 They all left right after the show. 353 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:47,900 Again? 354 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:50,030 Do you want to hit up C Park with me? 355 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,300 I can't. 356 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,570 I'm a ghost. 357 00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:55,710 I died in this very theater in 1927. 358 00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:59,240 Only a kiss will free me from haunting this realm. 359 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,410 Please, sir, a kiss? 360 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,580 You stupid idiot. 361 00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:08,150 I'm not a ghost, I'm a perverted boy. 362 00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:14,720 Morning, Steve. I made a big family breakfast like old times. 363 00:16:14,730 --> 00:16:16,390 Wait, wait, wait. I got a joke here. 364 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,990 Knock, knock. Who's there? 365 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,930 Not me. I have brunch plans with Diane. 366 00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:22,330 Diane? 367 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:23,400 Steve's girlfriend. 368 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,670 It's pretty serious. 369 00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:28,000 She's 50, but she looks 57. 370 00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:29,470 Sorry, we have to run. 371 00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:32,340 Oh, we were supposed to be at the gallery ages ago. 372 00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:33,810 Gallery? 373 00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:36,350 Jeff is one of New York's premier underground artists. 374 00:16:36,350 --> 00:16:39,480 See ya. On Tuesdays, I play melancholy violin music 375 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,420 on a subway platform. 376 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:43,820 Francine, what has happened to us? 377 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:46,090 This family used to be so close. 378 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:47,620 Now the only time we spend together 379 00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:49,360 is on stage when we're performing. 380 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,900 I hear ya, but can we talk about it during "Stomp" tonight? 381 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:54,560 I don't want to be late for my first day 382 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:56,100 writing on "Law & Order." 383 00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,100 What are you doing today? Oh, I'm busy, Stan. 384 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,300 I've got a big day of staring out this window 385 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,440 and reporting our neighbors to the FBI. 386 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,770 You don't have to be right. 387 00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,370 You just have to have a phone. 388 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,310 They're all happy. 389 00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:10,050 Maybe I'm not giving this town a chance. 390 00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:26,730 So, Balanchine's "Agon" is going at the Koch Theater. 391 00:17:26,730 --> 00:17:28,800 Balanchine's "Agon"? 392 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,140 We might as well see Hall & Oates at the ESPN Zone. 393 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:36,340 Shall we have dessert at the M&M store? 394 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:39,210 Is it one of those Sundays again, Diane? 395 00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,010 Oop, your fibromyalgia medication 396 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,580 is ready for pick up. 397 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,490 Bird! 398 00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:53,090 It's in my hair! 399 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:54,690 It's in my hair! 400 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,170 It's a beautiful painting. 401 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:06,300 Thanks, but I was trying to write a book. 402 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:09,640 I'll never be a novelist! 403 00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:20,920 Mr. Wolf, I have an idea for an episode. 404 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,050 What if a waiter gets murdered, 405 00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:26,660 and we find out that the murderer who murdered him 406 00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:29,260 isn't who we thought he was? 407 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:32,400 We've already done that. 408 00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:52,080 Tough city, but I couldn't live anywhere else. 409 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:57,750 Everyone's miserable and they don't even know it. 410 00:19:02,630 --> 00:19:05,030 Stan Smith? Yes. 411 00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:07,030 I've been looking everywhere for you. 412 00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:09,630 I'm Eric Jeremyson III, president of Broadway. 413 00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:11,030 Hi. 414 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,770 Buying the North American rights to "Stomp" 415 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:14,300 was a smart investment. 416 00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:16,370 You must be a very happy man. 417 00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:17,840 Well, obviously you are. 418 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,910 You're sitting here alone on this park bench, 419 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,910 reflecting on your happiness no doubt. 420 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,850 Get to it. I'd like to offer you and your family 421 00:19:24,850 --> 00:19:27,250 a lifetime contract to perform "Stomp." 422 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:30,120 Imagine, you'll be in New York for life! 423 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,460 But I need your answer tonight. 424 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:36,330 Why? For drama! 425 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,070 Hey, where are the brooms? 426 00:19:42,070 --> 00:19:44,870 Huh, are they not where they always are? 427 00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,740 There's just rakes. 428 00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:48,210 No brooms?! 429 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:51,070 What the hell are we supposed to do with rakes?! 430 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,010 Calm down. We're the ones that make the show amazing. 431 00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,610 The props don't matter. 432 00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:59,620 The props definitely matter! 433 00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,480 The brooms were the real stars! 434 00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:03,290 I've got to tell you something before you read it 435 00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,950 in The Village Voice tomorrow. 436 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,690 I switched out the brooms. 437 00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:08,630 Why would you do such a thing? 438 00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:09,960 I know we didn't vote on it, 439 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,900 but our family's happiness is too important 440 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,300 to leave to democracy. 441 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,700 We're miserable here. 442 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,630 Maybe, but being miserable 443 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,170 and pretending to love living here 444 00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:20,300 is just what New Yorkers do. 445 00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:21,440 That's what I was doing. 446 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,440 Being together with you 447 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,710 this past year, 448 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:24,910 I've never felt so alone. 449 00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:26,440 Me, too, babe. 450 00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:28,980 Plus, these buildings are too tall. 451 00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:31,710 And let's admit it, Domino's has better pizza. 452 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,180 The last time I was happy 453 00:20:33,180 --> 00:20:36,390 was when we were making memories together as a family. 454 00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:37,920 I want to go back to that place. 455 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,990 I want to go home, too, Dad. 456 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,320 Wrong again, numbnuts. 457 00:20:41,330 --> 00:20:44,130 ♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪ 458 00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:46,930 ♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪ 459 00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:48,270 ♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪ 460 00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,530 ♪ Ba du, ohh ♪ 461 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,870 ♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪ 462 00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:55,070 ♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪ 463 00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:56,940 ♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪ 464 00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:58,610 ♪ Ba du ♪ 465 00:20:58,610 --> 00:21:00,440 Bye! Have a great time! 32988