Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,773 --> 00:00:09,460
Oh, Lord, not today.
2
00:00:10,085 --> 00:00:11,835
Hey, Calvin, greetings...
3
00:00:12,044 --> 00:00:13,679
from the future.
4
00:00:13,983 --> 00:00:16,296
Goodbye... from the now.
5
00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:18,570
Just checking out
this sweet ride
6
00:00:18,654 --> 00:00:20,528
to make sure it's
safe for Grover.
7
00:00:20,612 --> 00:00:22,965
Have you fallenon your ass yet?
8
00:00:23,049 --> 00:00:24,532
Not yet.
9
00:00:24,616 --> 00:00:27,187
Oh, well, then,
looks like I have a few minutes.
10
00:00:27,765 --> 00:00:30,937
Now, I always test out Grover's
toys before I give them to him.
11
00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:32,800
I've swallowed
every size Lego there is
12
00:00:32,885 --> 00:00:34,227
to make sure
they're not a choking hazard.
13
00:00:34,311 --> 00:00:36,203
Turns out, some of them are.
14
00:00:37,466 --> 00:00:39,807
Dave, I got to get to work,
so if you're gonna fall,
15
00:00:39,892 --> 00:00:41,437
you know,
let's make it happen.
16
00:00:41,945 --> 00:00:42,985
Actually,
17
00:00:43,069 --> 00:00:45,328
I'm starting
to get the hang of this thing.
18
00:00:45,424 --> 00:00:47,257
It's a lot easier
than it looks!
19
00:00:47,349 --> 00:00:49,382
Whoa, whoa!
Dave, watch out!
20
00:00:49,474 --> 00:00:51,131
Oh!
21
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,693
Hey, man, are you all right?
22
00:00:56,953 --> 00:00:58,422
Yes, but...
23
00:00:58,507 --> 00:01:00,328
Did you see that
idiot out there?
24
00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:03,039
Yeah, that speeding caral
most hit him.
25
00:01:04,734 --> 00:01:05,937
Are you sure you're okay?
26
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,617
Yeah, I'm-I'm
fine, thanks.
27
00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:08,983
Well, good.
28
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,897
Well, look,
I'm late for work, but, um,
29
00:01:11,202 --> 00:01:13,062
this was totally worth it.
30
00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:16,769
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
31
00:01:16,854 --> 00:01:18,585
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
32
00:01:20,683 --> 00:01:22,499
Season 02 Episode 21
Title: "Welcome to the Speed Bump"
33
00:01:22,584 --> 00:01:23,710
Aired on: May 04, 2020
34
00:01:23,795 --> 00:01:24,984
Oh, hey, Dave.
35
00:01:25,069 --> 00:01:26,856
Hey, Calvin. I need
your signature.
36
00:01:26,948 --> 00:01:28,525
I told you,
I am not autographing
37
00:01:28,609 --> 00:01:30,664
that picture of us
at Benihanas.
38
00:01:31,695 --> 00:01:33,187
I'm not here
for that.
39
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,928
But FYI, everyone else
at the table signed it.
40
00:01:36,538 --> 00:01:37,592
Look, I'm sorry, Dave.
41
00:01:37,677 --> 00:01:39,164
I don't want Calvin
signing anything.
42
00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,968
I'm still trying to get him
out of that damn record club.
43
00:01:42,622 --> 00:01:44,094
Three years and 20 more CDs,
44
00:01:44,179 --> 00:01:46,015
and I'm scot-free.
45
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,867
Well, you know, actually,
after yesterday,
46
00:01:49,952 --> 00:01:51,548
I decided to do something
about all the speeders.
47
00:01:51,632 --> 00:01:53,376
It turns out
there's a new navigation app
48
00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:55,660
that's sending cars down
our street to beat the traffic.
49
00:01:55,859 --> 00:01:57,641
You know, I used
one of those things once.
50
00:01:57,725 --> 00:01:59,556
The stupid thing told me
51
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,080
to drive through
someone's backyard.
52
00:02:02,257 --> 00:02:05,343
But on the plus side,
I saved about three minutes.
53
00:02:06,296 --> 00:02:07,891
Well, you know,
I did some research,
54
00:02:07,976 --> 00:02:09,321
and the city will put in
a speed bump
55
00:02:09,405 --> 00:02:11,414
if I get a signature from
everyone on the street.
56
00:02:11,554 --> 00:02:12,782
You're my first stop.
57
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,023
And your last one.
58
00:02:16,492 --> 00:02:19,165
A white guy going
door-to-door for signatures
59
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,313
in this neighborhood?
60
00:02:20,398 --> 00:02:22,343
Nice knowing you,
Dave.
61
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,537
What Calvin is
trying to say...
62
00:02:24,621 --> 00:02:27,584
people around here are a little
suspicious of getting scammed.
63
00:02:27,703 --> 00:02:29,716
You know? Dwayne Wilson
thought he was signing up
64
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,406
for free HBO
and ended up in the Marines.
65
00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:35,835
Poor bastard just made colonel.
66
00:02:38,389 --> 00:02:39,986
Well, if
door-to-door
67
00:02:40,071 --> 00:02:41,728
isn't gonna work,
what should I do?
68
00:02:41,812 --> 00:02:43,643
Well, first, if you want people
69
00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:45,734
to sign anything around here,
70
00:02:45,859 --> 00:02:47,865
- you got to earn their trust.
- Mm.
71
00:02:47,949 --> 00:02:49,170
Well, how do I do that?
72
00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:51,328
Well, I mean,
they're all individuals, Dave.
73
00:02:51,616 --> 00:02:54,827
For example,
Trey likes to talk about sports
74
00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:58,320
and how paternity tests
can be wrong sometimes.
75
00:02:59,508 --> 00:03:02,758
And Old Miss Kim likes
talking about Bingo, her garden
76
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:05,706
and how her milkshake
brings all the boys to the yard.
77
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,171
And whatever you do,
78
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:12,958
do not ask Little Hatchet
how she got her nickname.
79
00:03:13,238 --> 00:03:15,812
Or why she got a
divorce, but they're
80
00:03:15,897 --> 00:03:18,257
- basically both the same story.
- Basically the same story.
81
00:03:20,897 --> 00:03:23,381
Man, it sounds like I've bit off
more than I can chew.
82
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:26,312
This is that Lego fireman
all over again.
83
00:03:26,914 --> 00:03:28,781
Dave, just invite
everybody over,
84
00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:30,653
give them some food,
and they'll sign.
85
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,993
It'll only work
if you do one thing.
86
00:03:33,734 --> 00:03:36,320
Feed 'em catfish and cornbread.
87
00:03:36,734 --> 00:03:37,870
Why that?
88
00:03:37,955 --> 00:03:40,131
Because that's
what I'm in the mood for.
89
00:03:49,734 --> 00:03:50,836
Hey, G-man,
90
00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:52,289
what are you doing?
91
00:03:52,515 --> 00:03:54,539
Just playing soccer in my head.
92
00:03:54,929 --> 00:03:56,781
Hey, I just scored!
93
00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:00,472
Well, I used to pretend
like that in my head.
94
00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:02,132
Except instead of soccer,
it was girls.
95
00:04:03,663 --> 00:04:05,664
Yeah, but you
never scored.
96
00:04:07,296 --> 00:04:09,055
So, why are you just
pretending to play
97
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,209
when you got this whole lawn
right here?
98
00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:13,321
Since my dad almost got hit
by a car,
99
00:04:13,406 --> 00:04:15,094
my mom won't let me play
near the street.
100
00:04:15,179 --> 00:04:16,606
She's being crazy.
101
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:19,156
No, I just think she's being
cautious and protective.
102
00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:20,851
No, she's being crazy.
Watch.
103
00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:25,863
Grover, I told you
to stay on the porch! Whoa!
104
00:04:28,107 --> 00:04:30,982
Wow, Gemma. You got here
before your voice did.
105
00:04:31,978 --> 00:04:32,987
Sorry.
106
00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,903
I'm just so worried about
Grover getting hurt.
107
00:04:35,004 --> 00:04:37,388
You know, with all the cars
zipping up and down the street.
108
00:04:37,473 --> 00:04:38,629
Yeah, we get it.
109
00:04:38,714 --> 00:04:40,806
Our mom was afraid of
a lot of stuff, too.
110
00:04:40,891 --> 00:04:43,380
We spent half our childhood
locked up like Grover here
111
00:04:43,465 --> 00:04:44,629
in porch jail.
112
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,550
Yeah, she put us in there
for earthquakes, pit bulls,
113
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:49,073
that guywith the ice cream truck
114
00:04:49,157 --> 00:04:51,028
that never hadany ice cream.
115
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,560
Well, hey, we are going
to check out the Pasadena fair.
116
00:04:58,645 --> 00:05:00,258
Why don't you let us take
Grover with us?
117
00:05:00,372 --> 00:05:02,695
Can I, Mom, please?
118
00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:04,286
I don't know.
119
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,855
Do you promise not
to do anything dangerous?
120
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,208
Oh, absolutely.
121
00:05:08,293 --> 00:05:09,732
I guarantee
we will have
122
00:05:09,817 --> 00:05:13,442
a no-fun, danger-free,
super-boring time.
123
00:05:14,176 --> 00:05:17,559
Uh, I'm not sure
I want to go anymore.
124
00:05:19,345 --> 00:05:21,965
Hey, zip it, kid, we're
trying to break you out.
125
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,973
I haven't seen this much
of the block in one place
126
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:31,989
since Colonel Wilson
got home from Iraq.
127
00:05:33,769 --> 00:05:35,904
And everyone is
loving my food.
128
00:05:35,989 --> 00:05:39,082
No one's even noticed that
the catfish is actually tofu.
129
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:42,278
Uh-uh.
This ain't right.
130
00:05:45,426 --> 00:05:47,607
Calvin, you were right.
This was the perfect way
131
00:05:47,692 --> 00:05:49,545
to get the whole street
on board for the speed bump.
132
00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:51,575
What can I say, Dave?
These are my people.
133
00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:53,287
I love them,
and they love me.
134
00:05:53,372 --> 00:05:55,411
Out of the way, jackass.
135
00:05:56,801 --> 00:05:59,356
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's Walter.
136
00:05:59,441 --> 00:06:01,446
That's the jerk that lives
on the other side of me.
137
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:03,807
Oh, man, I've never seen him
outside of the house before.
138
00:06:03,971 --> 00:06:05,872
Yeah, because he only
comes out at night,
139
00:06:05,957 --> 00:06:08,231
like bats and vampires.
140
00:06:08,627 --> 00:06:11,589
Well, now that everybody's here,
let's... let's get started.
141
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:16,254
Okay, uh, if I could have
everyone's attention, please.
142
00:06:16,425 --> 00:06:19,866
An easel? Is he gonna talk about
a speed bump or paint one?
143
00:06:21,475 --> 00:06:23,161
Dave loves
giving presentations.
144
00:06:23,251 --> 00:06:24,528
One time I asked him why,
145
00:06:24,613 --> 00:06:27,551
and he answered
with a ten-minute presentation.
146
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,565
Okay, now, I don't want to take
too much of your time,
147
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:32,173
so I'll just get right to it.
148
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:36,623
Pasadena.
149
00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:41,433
Jewel of the San Gabriel Valley.
150
00:06:41,744 --> 00:06:44,057
Established in 1874,
but, you know,
151
00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,698
oddly, not incorporated until...
152
00:06:45,783 --> 00:06:48,268
How long is this gonna take?
153
00:06:49,111 --> 00:06:51,557
I have plans
with a gentleman tonight,
154
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:54,909
and I'm hoping
he's not gonna be a gentleman.
155
00:06:55,885 --> 00:06:57,338
Yeah.
156
00:06:57,423 --> 00:07:00,877
And I got a cable guy coming
between now and Friday.
157
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:04,830
Hey, hey, Dave, you-you may
want to speed this up.
158
00:07:04,915 --> 00:07:06,362
Yeah, got it. Okay, uh,
159
00:07:06,462 --> 00:07:08,674
skipping
the Industrial Revolution,
160
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:11,994
the sinking of the Titanic,
uh, World War I...
161
00:07:14,924 --> 00:07:16,987
The automobile.
162
00:07:17,541 --> 00:07:18,955
I'm out.
163
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,958
It's not worththe free food.
164
00:07:21,129 --> 00:07:22,525
I can come over earlier.
165
00:07:22,789 --> 00:07:24,315
Got to go.
166
00:07:24,408 --> 00:07:27,448
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
All right, hold up, everybody.
167
00:07:27,533 --> 00:07:28,437
Come on now.
168
00:07:28,522 --> 00:07:31,136
I want to walk out on Dave
just as much as you do,
169
00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:34,166
but he actually has
something important to say.
170
00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:37,604
More important than this sweet
piece of meat right here?
171
00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:43,063
Okay, all right, guys.
172
00:07:43,186 --> 00:07:45,075
Look, we've all seen how fast
173
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,722
these cars have been
going down our streets.
174
00:07:46,806 --> 00:07:48,904
And I think it's time
we do something about it.
175
00:07:48,989 --> 00:07:50,339
- That's true.
- You got a point.
176
00:07:50,423 --> 00:07:51,816
- That is true.
- Hey, come on out here, Dave.
177
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,846
Come on now.
Come on now.
178
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,196
Thank you, Calvin, and, look,
179
00:07:54,281 --> 00:07:56,373
I'll-I'll cut
right to the chase.
180
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:59,205
- To quote Henry Ford...
- Oh, you know what?
181
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,817
To quote Calvin Butler,
if you sign, you can leave.
182
00:08:08,356 --> 00:08:10,448
So, how's that
deep-fried pickle?
183
00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:13,229
It's pretty
disgusting. Um,
184
00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:15,831
some things should not be
battered and put on a stick.
185
00:08:17,294 --> 00:08:19,916
Ooh, deep-fried butter.
186
00:08:22,681 --> 00:08:23,681
- Whoa!
- Oh.
187
00:08:23,844 --> 00:08:26,328
Can we go
on that roller coaster?
188
00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:27,824
Uh, sorry, little man.
We promised your mom
189
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,175
we wouldn't do
anything dangerous.
190
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,534
And we already pushed our luck
with the petting zoo.
191
00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:33,971
That pygmy goat tried
to eat my jacket.
192
00:08:34,955 --> 00:08:36,671
Hey, how about we go
on the Ferris wheel?
193
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:40,116
Ferris wheel?
That's the lamest ride here.
194
00:08:40,201 --> 00:08:41,792
Well, we can go back
to the bounce house.
195
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:44,316
And if you promise
to be careful,
196
00:08:44,401 --> 00:08:46,713
this time
we'll let you jump.
197
00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:50,331
Fine, we'll go
on the stupid Ferris wheel.
198
00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:52,448
But you guys are boring.
199
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:56,987
That kid's not as cute
as he used to be.
200
00:08:59,117 --> 00:09:00,424
Thank you.
201
00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:01,818
Oh, thank you so much.
202
00:09:02,222 --> 00:09:04,033
- Yeah, good.
- Oh, here you go.
203
00:09:04,274 --> 00:09:06,518
Now, you sure
this not for the Marines?
204
00:09:06,752 --> 00:09:08,068
Hmm.
205
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,534
You'd be a lot safer
joining the Marines
206
00:09:10,619 --> 00:09:13,151
than going over to
Miss Kim's tonight.
207
00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:17,432
I know. Pray for me.
208
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,096
Hey, thanks for
backing me up, Calvin.
209
00:09:22,198 --> 00:09:23,881
Everyone's signing
the petition.
210
00:09:24,027 --> 00:09:25,557
Well, nothing's
more important to me
211
00:09:25,642 --> 00:09:27,198
than the safety
of our neighborhood.
212
00:09:27,283 --> 00:09:29,201
I'll do anything
to protect these kids.
213
00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,903
Oh, hey, Walter.
If you could just sign
214
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,210
on the last spot
right there.
215
00:09:32,349 --> 00:09:34,791
Oh, yeah, I'd... I-I'd be happy to
216
00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:38,815
if Calvin finally agrees to move
his fence off of my property.
217
00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:42,159
Well, Dave, we tried.
218
00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:55,487
Hey, Calvin, what
was that all about?
219
00:09:55,773 --> 00:09:59,409
That fool thinks my fence is
six inches onto his property.
220
00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:03,346
- Is it?
- Whose side are you on, Dave?
221
00:10:04,612 --> 00:10:06,987
Calvin, Walter's
the last signature we need
222
00:10:07,072 --> 00:10:08,080
to get the speed bump.
223
00:10:08,164 --> 00:10:10,276
Look, that fence has been there
since I moved in,
224
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:11,800
and I'm not moving it
now.
225
00:10:11,885 --> 00:10:15,096
Plus, if I give in to him once,
it won't stop there.
226
00:10:15,483 --> 00:10:19,139
I'm telling you, Dave,
kindness is a slippery slope.
227
00:10:19,989 --> 00:10:22,198
Well, okay, Calvin,
that's not true.
228
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,299
Oh, yes, it is.
I said hello to you once,
229
00:10:25,384 --> 00:10:27,127
and look at us now.
230
00:10:28,322 --> 00:10:29,729
Okay, well, if you won't move,
231
00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:31,241
then how are we gonna get
the speed bump?
232
00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:34,462
Oh, that's easy.
Gonna wait for him to die.
233
00:10:35,416 --> 00:10:37,737
Hey, besides, I got you
all those other signatures.
234
00:10:37,822 --> 00:10:39,729
Yeah, which mean
absolutely nothing
235
00:10:39,814 --> 00:10:41,253
if we don't get Walter's.
236
00:10:41,509 --> 00:10:43,035
Well, I'm sorry, Dave.
237
00:10:43,135 --> 00:10:44,688
If it makes you feel any better,
238
00:10:44,773 --> 00:10:47,123
I'll sign the picture
of us at Benihana.
239
00:10:48,142 --> 00:10:49,320
It's too late.
240
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,230
I already forged it.
241
00:10:55,327 --> 00:10:56,592
Ha-ha!
242
00:10:56,925 --> 00:10:58,790
Wow! What a view!
243
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:00,540
Yeah, check this
out, little man.
244
00:11:00,625 --> 00:11:02,847
You can see everything
from up here.
245
00:11:02,932 --> 00:11:05,155
Like how much fun
they're having over there
246
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,376
on the roller coaster!
247
00:11:07,825 --> 00:11:08,829
Are you kidding?
248
00:11:08,914 --> 00:11:10,441
That doesn't look
like much fun at all.
249
00:11:11,718 --> 00:11:13,493
We are totally coming back here
tomorrow.
250
00:11:14,308 --> 00:11:15,589
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
251
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:16,896
- Whoa!
- Hey, now, hey!
252
00:11:16,981 --> 00:11:18,105
What just happened?
253
00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:19,344
Uh, I don't know.
254
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,478
Hey, maybe they're
just letting more riders on.
255
00:11:21,563 --> 00:11:22,741
Uh, or...
256
00:11:22,954 --> 00:11:24,307
maybe the motorjust caught on fire,
257
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:26,918
and the operator tried
to put it out with his beer!
258
00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:28,792
Seriously?
259
00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:31,136
Hey, hey, look,
it's okay, little man.
260
00:11:31,221 --> 00:11:33,183
All right? Everything
is gonna be fine.
261
00:11:33,268 --> 00:11:34,620
It's not fine.
262
00:11:34,705 --> 00:11:35,855
It's awesome!
263
00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:38,105
- What? - Oh!
- Finally, some real fun.
264
00:11:38,218 --> 00:11:40,307
- Whoa!
- No!
265
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:45,331
Calvin Butler.
266
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:47,605
What is wrong with you?
267
00:11:47,726 --> 00:11:49,105
I would say nothing,
but I'm sure
268
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,206
you're about
to tell me different.
269
00:11:52,316 --> 00:11:53,980
You're damn right I am.
270
00:11:54,065 --> 00:11:55,706
Dave just told me
what happened.
271
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:57,448
I cannot believe
after all of these years
272
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:59,675
you're still fighting
over that stupid fence.
273
00:11:59,974 --> 00:12:02,659
Why does Walter care so much
about six inches?
274
00:12:02,744 --> 00:12:04,314
Well, why do you care so much?
275
00:12:04,399 --> 00:12:06,394
It's six inches.
276
00:12:07,841 --> 00:12:09,362
Is it about the money?
277
00:12:09,447 --> 00:12:11,776
I mean, it can't be
that expensive to move a fence.
278
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,995
No, it's not about that.
It's about the principle.
279
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,780
And it's like
my father always said:
280
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,792
"A man's fence is
a man's fence."
281
00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:21,237
When did your father say that?
282
00:12:21,322 --> 00:12:23,472
Whose side are you on, Tina?
283
00:12:24,566 --> 00:12:26,176
Is your pride
more important
284
00:12:26,261 --> 00:12:28,763
than the safety of the kids
in this neighborhood?
285
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:32,449
Nah, babe. Don't try to make
this whole speed bump thing
286
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,909
about safety.
287
00:12:35,979 --> 00:12:37,070
Okay...
288
00:12:37,538 --> 00:12:39,401
when Malcolm and
Marty were little,
289
00:12:39,486 --> 00:12:41,917
you did everything in your
power to keep them safe.
290
00:12:42,198 --> 00:12:44,333
You even used
to make Marty wear a helmet
291
00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:46,336
just to play hide-and-seek.
292
00:12:46,677 --> 00:12:48,784
I made him wear that thing
all the time.
293
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,135
The kid had no balance.
294
00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:53,111
Okay.
295
00:12:53,196 --> 00:12:55,087
When Malcolm said
that he was old enough
296
00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:58,173
to take his bike to the park,
you followed him in your car
297
00:12:58,258 --> 00:12:59,806
just to make sure
he got there safely.
298
00:12:59,922 --> 00:13:01,087
I had to.
299
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,447
He was pulling Marty in a wagon.
300
00:13:03,591 --> 00:13:06,028
That boy fell out
every two blocks.
301
00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:10,525
Come on, babe.
302
00:13:10,851 --> 00:13:12,113
You love Grover.
303
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:16,454
Doesn't he deserve to be
just as safe as our boys were?
304
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:19,245
Yeah, I guess.
305
00:13:20,672 --> 00:13:22,556
That's my big papa bear.
306
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:25,119
Taking care
of all the little cubs.
307
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:28,173
Yeah, you know me,
huh?
308
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:30,336
Always looking out for
the neighborhood kids.
309
00:13:30,421 --> 00:13:31,642
Mmm.
310
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,993
- Oh. You know what?
- What?
311
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,648
- That gives me an idea.
- What?
312
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,478
I can underpay them
to move the fence.
313
00:13:42,236 --> 00:13:43,385
Yeah!
314
00:13:45,266 --> 00:13:47,516
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have got
to cut that out, little man.
315
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,729
You have got to stop.
316
00:13:50,051 --> 00:13:53,429
This rocking is not helping
that deep-fried pizza stay down.
317
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,023
What?
When did you eat that?
318
00:13:57,155 --> 00:13:59,445
When you guys were
in the bathroom.
319
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,048
You two are no fun.
320
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,051
You're just
as bad as my mom.
321
00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:06,663
Hey, look, don't be
so hard on her, okay?
322
00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:08,343
She just wants
to keep you safe.
323
00:14:08,428 --> 00:14:10,911
Why?
I'm not a baby.
324
00:14:10,996 --> 00:14:13,093
Yeah, I know.
The only reason
325
00:14:13,178 --> 00:14:15,096
your mom is so
overprotective
326
00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:17,226
is because of how much
she cares about you.
327
00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,609
Yeah, i-if you see a kid
having too much fun,
328
00:14:19,864 --> 00:14:21,866
that means
his mom doesn't love him.
329
00:14:23,523 --> 00:14:26,270
So, that kid
in front of the roller coaster
330
00:14:26,355 --> 00:14:28,062
with his hands
up in the air...
331
00:14:28,248 --> 00:14:31,148
You mean the one eating that
corn dog with no shirt on?
332
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:34,515
Yeah. His mama
don't even know he's here.
333
00:14:35,382 --> 00:14:38,078
Wow. That's sad.
334
00:14:38,163 --> 00:14:39,398
Exactly.
335
00:14:39,483 --> 00:14:42,656
So every time your mom
tells you, stop running,
336
00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:45,007
tie your shoes,
or be careful,
337
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:48,272
what she's really saying
is she loves you.
338
00:14:48,992 --> 00:14:50,883
I guess I'm pretty lucky.
339
00:14:50,968 --> 00:14:52,756
You sure are.
340
00:14:52,841 --> 00:14:55,437
Which means she's gonna be
super mad when she finds out
341
00:14:55,522 --> 00:14:56,914
you got me
stuck up here.
342
00:14:57,952 --> 00:15:00,187
Uh, no, she won't,
no, she won't.
343
00:15:00,272 --> 00:15:02,102
- Because we're fine.
- Right, Marty?
344
00:15:02,186 --> 00:15:03,626
Yeah, yeah.
We-We're-we're totally safe.
345
00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:05,141
This kind of thing happens
all the time.
346
00:15:05,225 --> 00:15:05,875
Calliope music playing...
347
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,625
- Oh, thank you, Jesus!
- Ah, we are gonna live!
348
00:15:11,387 --> 00:15:13,437
Thanks so much for
doing this, Calvin.
349
00:15:13,529 --> 00:15:14,973
Did Tina change
your mind?
350
00:15:15,059 --> 00:15:17,593
No. I was always
gonna do it.
351
00:15:17,678 --> 00:15:19,680
I just needed to know
how committed you were.
352
00:15:21,934 --> 00:15:23,664
Well, you're doing
the right thing,
353
00:15:23,749 --> 00:15:25,837
and I, for one,
appreciate it.
354
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,328
Do you appreciate it enough
355
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,726
to give me six inches
on your property?
356
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,664
Sorry, Calvin.
357
00:15:31,773 --> 00:15:33,258
It's like my dad
used to say:
358
00:15:33,351 --> 00:15:35,742
"A man's fence is
a man's fence."
359
00:15:38,953 --> 00:15:41,281
Damn. You're not Miss Kim.
360
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,937
Look, Walter, I need
to talk to you.
361
00:15:45,022 --> 00:15:46,809
Oh, what?-what are you here
to steal now?
362
00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:48,464
My Wi-Fi password?
363
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,908
I'll give youa hint.
364
00:15:50,273 --> 00:15:53,281
It's "Calvin"
and four other letters.
365
00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:56,047
Look, man,
366
00:15:56,132 --> 00:15:59,182
I just came over here to say
if you sign Dave's petition,
367
00:15:59,343 --> 00:16:00,836
I'll move the damn fence.
368
00:16:00,921 --> 00:16:03,945
Great. I was waiting
for you to die.
369
00:16:05,226 --> 00:16:06,968
Walter, I really appreciate it.
370
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:10,970
Just sign right under where
Trey wrote "Not joining Marines."
371
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,929
Okay.
372
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,454
But actually,
since it took you this long,
373
00:16:16,539 --> 00:16:18,515
maybe I should charge you
a little interest.
374
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,040
How about we move that fence
a full foot?
375
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,509
What?
376
00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:24,014
I got a full
foot for you.
377
00:16:24,099 --> 00:16:26,436
You know...
Oh, okay, all right, all right.
378
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:27,929
Calvin, calm down.
379
00:16:28,014 --> 00:16:29,409
We need that speed bump.
Please.
380
00:16:30,802 --> 00:16:32,179
All right. But
this ain't for you.
381
00:16:32,264 --> 00:16:33,915
This is for the kids.
382
00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:36,239
Well, in that case,
let's move it two feet...
383
00:16:36,324 --> 00:16:38,220
one for me and
one for the kids.
384
00:16:39,537 --> 00:16:41,282
Oh, to hell with you!
385
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,690
You know what, I can't believe
you're trying to pull this crap,
386
00:16:43,774 --> 00:16:46,525
after all the stuff I let you
slide with over the years.
387
00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:47,970
What have you let slide?
388
00:16:48,219 --> 00:16:49,720
Are you kidding me?
389
00:16:50,025 --> 00:16:52,857
Do you know how many
of your old roof tiles
390
00:16:53,402 --> 00:16:55,407
have flown over into my yard?
391
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:58,193
And what about the
floodlights you put up?
392
00:16:58,277 --> 00:17:00,543
They're just shining bright
all night in my bedroom.
393
00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:02,387
Every time I get up
to go to the bathroom,
394
00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:04,669
it feels like a prison break.
395
00:17:06,336 --> 00:17:08,091
Not my problem.
396
00:17:08,214 --> 00:17:10,219
A-Actually,
Walter, it is.
397
00:17:10,304 --> 00:17:12,325
According to the
Pasadena Zoning Manual,
398
00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:15,460
those are both residential
C-1 violations.
399
00:17:15,545 --> 00:17:16,661
So?
400
00:17:16,753 --> 00:17:18,669
So, if the city
inspector finds out,
401
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:21,891
you're staring down the barrel
of some pretty hefty fines.
402
00:17:22,087 --> 00:17:23,178
He is?
403
00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:25,411
You are.
404
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:29,989
Yeah, you know, and now that I'm
looking around, there's no way
405
00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:32,415
that this half-saddle door
threshold is up to code.
406
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:36,010
And don't even get me started
on the enclosed breezeway,
407
00:17:36,095 --> 00:17:39,798
which is clearly within five
feet of a multi-person dwelling.
408
00:17:41,314 --> 00:17:44,174
Do not get him started
on breezeways.
409
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:48,147
Well, hold on, now, we don't
have to get into all of that.
410
00:17:48,232 --> 00:17:49,584
You're right, we don't.
411
00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:52,052
Because you're gonna
sign that petition,
412
00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:54,924
and we're gonna put up a speed
bump to protect these kids.
413
00:17:55,093 --> 00:17:56,837
Are we clear?
414
00:17:56,922 --> 00:17:58,837
Crystal, baby.
415
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,561
Fine. You win.
416
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:09,362
But that catfish
at your party sucked.
417
00:18:10,279 --> 00:18:11,994
Give me my pen.
418
00:18:14,368 --> 00:18:17,183
Damn, Dave,
hat was gangsta, man.
419
00:18:17,268 --> 00:18:19,300
Yeah, you want to hear
something even more gangsta?
420
00:18:19,417 --> 00:18:21,448
I just made all
that stuff up.
421
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,785
I don't even know
what a breezeway is.
422
00:18:30,995 --> 00:18:32,433
This is so great.
423
00:18:32,518 --> 00:18:35,394
That speed bump is really gonna
slow people down around here.
424
00:18:35,479 --> 00:18:38,379
Yeah, and it's short enough
that I could just zip around it.
425
00:18:39,881 --> 00:18:42,269
Mom, does this mean
I can play outside again?
426
00:18:42,432 --> 00:18:44,495
Yes. But not near the street,
427
00:18:44,682 --> 00:18:48,037
not after dark,
and never without supervision.
428
00:18:48,198 --> 00:18:49,995
I love you, too.
429
00:18:51,315 --> 00:18:53,355
Can I go inside
and play on my iPad?
430
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,789
Okay.
431
00:18:56,652 --> 00:18:58,992
What was I thinking?
He could get carpal tunnel.
432
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,687
Look at that
speed bump.
433
00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:05,559
Isn't she
beautiful?
434
00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:08,601
Yeah. It reminds me of you.
435
00:19:08,686 --> 00:19:10,039
Mm.Black,
436
00:19:10,124 --> 00:19:11,179
curvy...
437
00:19:11,264 --> 00:19:14,299
and makes me want to slow
down and take my time.
438
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:15,593
Oh...
439
00:19:16,798 --> 00:19:19,496
Oh, now I'm gonna feel guilty
every time I run over it.
440
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:24,340
But, seriously, you did a
good thing for the community.
441
00:19:24,425 --> 00:19:25,972
You should be proud
of yourself.
442
00:19:26,152 --> 00:19:28,157
Well, I'm glad
you feel that way.
443
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:31,035
Because I've
decided...
444
00:19:32,266 --> 00:19:34,013
I'm not stopping here.
445
00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:40,541
What do you think?
446
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:42,835
You're running for city council?
447
00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:44,127
Yeah. You're kidding, right?
448
00:19:44,212 --> 00:19:45,758
Nope. You know,
getting this done
449
00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:47,563
really woke up
my sense of civic duty.
450
00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:50,989
Plus, I've always wanted
to seemy face on a button.
451
00:19:52,573 --> 00:19:54,196
So, if you win,
452
00:19:54,281 --> 00:19:57,149
won't that mean you'll be super
busy doing government stuff
453
00:19:57,256 --> 00:20:00,855
and won't have the time to
hang around here as much?
454
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:02,448
I'm afraid so.
455
00:20:02,978 --> 00:20:04,309
Hmm.
Well, in that case,
456
00:20:04,402 --> 00:20:05,831
you got myvote.
457
00:20:06,101 --> 00:20:08,835
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
458
00:20:08,919 --> 00:20:10,919
Sync corrections by srjanapala
34200
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof