All language subtitles for Orange Is The New Black - 6x12 - Double Trouble.HDTV.NTb+STRiFE.en

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Come on, already. Do something.

What the hell is this?

What happened? Did I miss it?

Miss what?

Oh, the illegal cage match

that you orchestrated
between two mortal enemies?

Relax. Nothing happened anyway.

It's not about outcome,
Ginger. It's about cheating.

Oh.

Yeah? Well, then you
should have thought of that

before all you guys got together to
unload the two biggest duds on me.

You have two seconds to let them out

before I have you banned
from Fantasy Inmate for life.

Shame there's no points for
unlikely animal friendships,

'cause I'm pretty sure the old bird
and the old bat kissed and made up.

I am going to kill that bitch.

My sister thought we made a truce.

Dumb cunt.

I'm gonna take out Barb
and her whole block.

I would have done it right there,

but that guard was all
over us the whole time.

Never looked away once, like
some perv at a peep show.

You know, I think it's
better this way, anyways.

Play it cool, take our
time, plan it right.

When Barb's least
expecting it, we pounce.

Like a middle-aged mogul
on a college intern.

So we're gonna take out our
dicks and jerk off on 'em?

This is not a joke, Badison.

This... is...

War.

Mmm, I like this piece
of dark chocolate.

Definitely a yes.

So, how many COs do you need for
this little video of yours anyway?

This little video is a key part
of our corporate rebranding.

Oh, I'll want to shoot
some of our inmates too.

Sorry, we don't do that anymore.

Cute. I'll, of course,
want to audition them first,

in case they come off as serial killers.

Actually, you want the serial killers.

Sociopaths tend to
be really good actors.

Just give me some of your better
inmates in an assortment of colors.

One Benetton ad coming up.

I used to love their
sweaters in high school.

Speaking of fashion, the
COs will be wearing these.

Seriously, this is how you
plan to fix MCC's PR crisis?

With branded dickhead caps?

MCC does not exist
anymore. We are PolyCon now.

So, you shoot a video,
slap on a new name

and no one remembers your
shoddy workforce started a riot?

It's so much more than that.

I've been working on our
vertical integration for months.

And thanks to PolyCon's
new PQ tracking software,

I've already increased
our profit margins by 12%.

Prisoner quotient score.
Read your emails, Natalie.

You were supposed to input PQs
for all of your inmates weeks ago.

It's a work in progress,
minding my p's and q's.

Well, it better be.

Because we're making
big changes around here.

I need your entire prison population
ranked and on my desk in 36 hours.

How'd I think I could
get into business school

when all of my accomplishments
are full-on felonies?

What? I'm being ridiculous,
I know. I'm being ridiculous.

- Piper.
- What? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

What's going on with you?

Nothing. Would you
believe me if I said that?

No, I would not. Explain your weirdness.

Badison's trying to steal my date.

At first, I thought that
she was all talk, but...

this happened.

- Is that...
- Heroin? Yes.

Okay, that's heroin and
that is your hiding spot?

I'm going to fucking kill her.

No. See? This is why I
didn't want to tell you.

Because I knew you'd wanna help.

- Piper...
- I can handle this.

It's under control. I have a plan.

Better than your current plan

of hiding a baggie of
heroin under your leg?

I'm going to go to a friendly CO.

I'm gonna explain the
situation, turn over the drugs

and ask for them to put me in
Ad Seg for my own protection.

Or you can flush the fucking
baggie and be rid of it.

Oh, Badison's a textbook bully.
That's how she stays in power.

Well, it's definitely not
her winning personality.

This baggie is the only proof I
have of what Badison is doing to me.

And I think she took my toothbrush
and shoved it up her ass.

Piper, I love you, but
you're really bad at plans.

You're gonna show
this to some magical CO

and he'll believe you?

You're in the wrong cell, Vause.
That's a shot for each of you.

Oh, look, Piper, another
friendly CO doing his job.

- Is it done?
- What?

What else? Frieda.

Nah, it didn't work out.

We can't waste time
worrying about her right now.

We got bigger fish to fry.

Frieda's not a fish.
She's our white whale.

She could stand to lose a few,
but I wouldn't go that far.

You are the poster child
for American ignorance.

And you're an old cunt
who needs to piss off.

Carol, please, we have to talk.

Preferably someplace not in earshot
of Whitey Bulger's love child.

Dang it, woman, you got
borscht on the brain?

Frieda's yesterday's news.
We're planning a war here.

Barb, welcome back.

Sit down, Nicky. Sit down.

- We got something important to tell you.
- Uh-oh.

Important either means
you're gay, getting divorced,

or the dog is dead.

Unless this one's coming out as
straight. I'd recommend a new haircut.

We are going to war with C-Block.

Oh. Uh, that seems awfully extreme.

Anyone think of trying diplomacy?

There have been too many
fuckups lately. Too many.

We've let ourselves get sloppy and weak.

Those Cunt-Blocks need
to know who's boss.

And you three gals are my troop
leaders on the front lines.

Sure hope nobody's got flat feet.

I have high arches and the
reflexes of a feral cat.

That's terrifying.

Can we just focus up here, ladies?

I need you three to go out there
and recruit me some more soldiers.

Stronger and meaner
they are, the better.

Some people think that brains
are more important than brawn.

Not after they get their
heads staved in with a shovel.

Then they aren't saying shit.

Whatever we can use
in a fight, we want it.

And please, don't skip
over the new girls.

We gotta give those cookies a
chance to earn their stripes.

Ain't that right, Nicky?

There you are.

Uh... my shift doesn't start
for another ten minutes.

Follow me. We need to talk.

We've got a problem, or
more accurately, you do.

Whatever's in there isn't mine.

Is now. They're inmate files and
there are six more boxes of them.

Apparently PolyCon wants them
entered into this new computer system,

so they can generate some kind of

master list with everyone's rank on it.

Kind of like high school,

except no one goes to
Dartmouth when it's done.

How am I supposed to rank them?

You're just the data entry monkey.

The algorithm does the work.

Calculating good behavior,
severity of crime,

whether an inmate picks her nose
or not. All relevant bullshit.

That's great!

I'll send some guys down to
grab the rest of the boxes.

Shit, if knew you'd be so
excited about data entry,

I would've had you
do my Christmas cards.

I said, amen. D-Block kickball's here.

There must be some
Jesus in the atmosphere.

- Yo!
- I said, amen.

- Listen! Can you give it a rest? Please!
- D-Block kickball's here...

I can't concentrate with the yelling.

Maybe if you'd let the
Lord back into your heart,

you'd have an easier time focusing.

Maybe if you shut the fuck up I
won't cut your ass off the team.

Let's just say a silent
prayer for our sister, Maria.

Yeah, go for it, I'm sure Jesus
is real invested in our kickball.

Like he ain't got nothing else to do.

Oh, Christ! Fuck!

Huh.

All right, inmates. That's
it, practice is done for today.

- We just got here.
- Can't you get another ball?

You heard me. Everyone
back to your blocks.

- That's not fair.
- It's our time to be outside.

Settle down. Everyone settle down.

Everyone settle down!

This is our time to
be exercising outside.

Everyone on the ground now!

That's some bullshit.
We didn't do nothing.

Shut the fuck up! All of
you, shut your fucking mouths!

Hey, hey. Shit, McCullough. Somebody
needs to take a chillaxative.

We should talk later.
Maybe I can help you

with some of that excess energy.

Let's go, inmates!
Back to your cages. Now!

What's that, inmate?

For those of you who are interested,

tryouts for the corporate video

are starting now in
the multipurpose room.

Sorry. I'm not cutting...
I'm not gonna go in.

Hey, hey, can I talk to you for a sec?

Relax, Chapman, I'm sure
you're gonna make the cut.

They're short on white girls.

Great job, Arwin. Thank you! You too!

It's not about the video. It's Badison.

She keeps doing things to me
to try to give me extra time.

I know the only reason I can come to you

is because people like me
get a pass from authorities,

which is on the one hand horrifying,

but on the other... maybe
will work in my favor.

At least I hope it does because...

I need you to transfer me

to Ad Seg so Badison
can't steal my date.

If I were you, I'd stop living in fear

and start running towards the problem.

Spend more time with Badison.
Really get to know her.

Maybe she's not as bad as you think.

It's like Dr. Phil says,

"Enemies are friends you
just haven't hugged yet."

What do you think you're doing?

My pedicure place was all booked, so...

I'm talking about you
stealing Piper's date.

You think I want that
bitch in here longer?

You know she makes chewing
sounds in her sleep?

I guess you do know
that. Maybe you like that.

Oh, shut up, Badison.
I'm not fucking around.

Oh.

Chapman must have a USDA prime-cut puss

at the rate you're willing to
step in front of bullets for her.

Look at you...

trying to My Fair Lady yourself
for her with higher education.

It beats a lifetime career
as a second-rate thug.

"Second-rate"?

Tell that to the girls I got
sitting in the SHU right now.

Or the two I got transferred to
that piss-hole down in Kentucky.

And last year, there was this chick...

I don't care about your r�sum�.

I am asking you, as a human
being, to leave Piper alone.

Problem is, your girlfriend mouthed
off to me in front of my crew.

And if I let her get away with it,

the whole system starts to fall apart.

Like District 12 in Hunger Games.

I get it. You have to
reestablish dominance.

Maybe there's some other lesson

you can glean from a
Jennifer Lawrence film

that doesn't involve
Piper getting extra time.

Yeah, I could. Yeah, but...

I... don't... like her.

However, I might be willing

to call off Piper's very
unfortunate incident report

if you agree to start working for me.

That's never gonna happen.

What's the matter? You don't
wanna work for the big boss?

Oh, please. Carol's the big
boss. You're a fucking child.

Well, I guess you two
will have a few more years

to lez it up together in Château Max.

Which, in a way, is like
I'm doing you a favor.

If I learned anything
from Katniss and Peeta,

that long-distance
relationship shit sucks.

Watch another movie, Badison.

PolyCon doesn't care about people.

Sorry, my bad. Give me a sec.

PolyCon doesn't just care about people.

People are their bottom line.

"Bottom."

With a world-class staff and
over 100 educational programs...

I'm sorry, are they calling
the book cart I push around

100 educational programs?
'Cause I haven't seen shit.

Before serving time, I
thought I didn't have a future.

Now I know when I get out...

Oh. Who am I kidding? I know I have
no future. I barely have a present.

Now I know when I get
out, I'm staying out.

"PolyCon is reducing...

reshitavision"?

Recidivism.

Reshitavism.

If you want crappy things
to stop happening to you,

then you have to stop accepting
crap and do something more!

- Can you stay on script, please?
- Oh.

That was Grey's Anatomy.
Cristina Yang says it to Meredith.

Well, can you stay on my script?

Thanks, PolyCon!

Thanks, PolyCon.

Uh, you wanna try
smiling when you do that?

Nope.

I don't need to see anybody
else. You got the part.

- For real?
- No.

Get out of here and
stop wasting our time.

I need a coffee. Or four.

God, I'm ready to
eeny-meeny-miny-moe this shit

whenever you are, so...

Jesus, I ain't ever seen nobody
spend so much time in their room

since my brother got pubes.

You better stay out there or
the guards'll be up our asses.

The COs leave me and my friends alone.

You see?

You in the right block now.

But just so you know, there's
a war that's about to go down.

I thought you might want in, 'cause
you got all that beef with C-Block.

What are you talking about?

D-Block versus C. Kickball.

Barb's got everyone gearing up.

Those pills must be really
messing with your head

if you think that I want to
fight in a fucking gang war.

Calm down. Calm down. I'll
just tell her to leave you out.

No. Tell her to stop. Tell somebody.

Daya... people could
get killed out there.

- That's kind of the point.
- Oh.

So now you're this big gangbanger, huh?

No, only when I need to be.

How did that work out for
you last time, Scarface?

Things are different for me in here.

You think I don't see you
chasing after that Daddy chick

like a lost little puppy dog?

You need to wake up, Daya,
okay? Before you get hurt.

Mmm-hmm. Yo, you wanna sit
this one out? That's on you.

But if you tell anybody about this,
I won't be able to protect you.

This isn't camp, mami. In
here, I take care of you.

Uh, Sylvia... Good
morning. Hey, wait up.

Mr. Caputo. If we'd
known you'd be in town,

we wouldn't have
prerecorded your testimony.

I'm sorry. I thought I was
moving, but it didn't work out.

I'm not sure the live show
would've gone any better.

You did what you could.

So, um, how is it looking for her?

Based on the information you gave us,

we were able to hire
another medical examiner

and her report contradicts the
prosecutor's. That's promising.

What does that mean for Taystee?

Hard to say. Jurors usually glaze over

when presented with medical reports.

But if you had to give me the odds?

It doesn't work like that.

For Christ's sake, I'm
asking for a ballpark here.

The kid's life is on the line.

I'm very sorry. I'm a
little emotional. Uh...

- Honestly, I'd say 50-50.
- Shit.

No, that's good.
Coin-toss odds are good.

But there's a lot riding
on her testimony tomorrow.

If Taystee can make the
jurors feel compassion for her,

then we may have a shot
at winning this thing.

If she doesn't?

Let's hope she does. Do you mind?

Please. Sorry.

Fuck those bitches for making
McCullough lose her shit like that.

What they did to you in
the riot was bad enough.

You can't let 'em fuck up
the rest of your life too.

What happened?

McCullough freaked out
on the yard. Riot PTSD.

Far as I'm concerned, all those
twats should get the chair.

New York does not
have the death penalty.

Yeah, but this is federal.

- Still extremely rare.
- That's a real goddamn shame, then.

Especially 'cause the one who
organized the thing, Jefferson,

her trial started.

Any word how it's going?

Yeah, that one's a friend of yours.

Was. Back in the day.

They want to give
Jefferson a fair trial,

they should stand her up there
naked, shove a baton up her ass,

and then lock her in a tiny
room that smells like shit.

I think we already do
that last part, bro.

Whatever. The baton
should go up her ass.

Shit, Dixon. Ever hear of the high road?

Just paying 'em back for what
they did to us. Fuck the high road.

Whose side are you on, anyways?
Ours or your little BFF?

Yeah, I told you, Jefferson
and I aren't friends anymore.

But she's still a person.

No, she ain't.

And the second you start seeing those
animals like that, you're fucked.

True.

But there are some good
ones here and there.

Well, this Jefferson bitch
sure as fuck ain't one of 'em.

Her ass is gonna fry.

And me and you will
have front row seats.

I swear, Dixon, we're gonna be so close,

we'll be able to smell her
back fat sizzle like bacon.

Hello? Is someone in here?

Wheatly, if that's you smoking again,

you know you owe me ten bucks.

- What the fuck?
- Shit.

My, God! Fuck!

Sorry. I thought you were someone else.

It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Heard they shook you out there.

No. That was on me, not them.

Doesn't seem like you
forgive and forget so easy.

Forget?

I wake up in sweat puddles
from nightmares every night.

I jump if I hear a loud noise.

And I will never fucking forgive them.

I mean, shit, if I'd had
a gun on me in that yard,

I would have mowed them down
without thinking twice about it.

But those girls were just
excited about playing kickball.

They are horrible
people who have hurt me,

and they're regular people
who just want to play a game.

Or get through the day. Or feel human.

And I just get so messed up
when I can only see the horrible,

which is pretty much all the time.

But I don't know how to exist in the
world with so much hate inside me.

Thanks.

Hey.

Brought you some snacks
from the vending machine.

Wasn't sure if you liked sweet or
salty, so I got you one of each.

I ain't hungry.

I heard they hired a
new medical examiner.

That should be good
for your case, right?

I guess.

Taystee, I know what you're
going through is rough.

But even if you're not feelin'
it, you gotta turn it on now.

Hey, you gotta let them meet

the smart, funny, caring,
full-of-life Taystee.

The Taystee who deserves to be free.

The Taystee that makes up
spontaneous rap songs about badminton.

It was croquet because
it rhymes with Kanye.

See that? That's what I'm talking about.

How am I supposed to
get a bunch of strangers

to care about me when my
own friend don't give a damn?

Don't nobody give a damn about me.

Jesus.

I quit my job over you.

All those people in
the gallery every day...

they care what happens to you too.

I bet you even Cindy does.

Who knows what went on
behind the scenes with her?

You think this is what
Poussey would have wanted?

That's right. I said her name.

I should have said her name.

Taystee, you still got a chance.

What you say on that stand
tomorrow matters a lot.

So you gotta get in there and you
gotta fight like hell for yourself,

just like you did during the riot.

Who knows?

Maybe that jury will surprise you.

But they're not gonna get the
chance if you've already given up.

Tell me you haven't given up.

- What the fuck?
- Time's up.

Yo, Hell-man...

wanna earn a quick three-hundy?

I can only fit eight
grams in one burrito.

If I start bringing in two burritos,

it'll look suspicious on
account of I'm not a fat-ass.

This ain't about drugs. I need
you to dirty up Chapman's record.

How dirty we talking?

Mmm. Maybe you catch
her making brass knuckles

out of an old Preparation H tube?

Or find a dime bag of weed
in her cooch? Dealer's choice.

So long as she gets, uh,
another, say, two, three years.

I'll take your money, but,
uh, I also want something else.

It's been a while since
I choked on a chubby,

but it's like riding a bike, no?

Yeah, a fat, leaking, flesh-bike
that rams into your tonsils.

- It's all coming back to me now.
- Not you. Ugh.

I want Mulan and Jasmine over there.

Someone's got a thing for
Pan-Asian Disney princesses.

The year I turned 13,

my little sister used to
watch that shit on a loop.

Interesting. Answer me this.

Do you go one on each side or is
it more of an alternating suck?

That's my business.
We got a deal or what?

I think I can arrange your
little feast from the East.

But, so you know, Teng
is a competitive swimmer

and Chambal's from northern Maine.

So, you got more of an Ariel-Elsa
situation, if you ask me.

You want your incident report,
go get me my Oriental combo.

Fine, but if I make this happen,
price goes down to two-hundy.

Listen to you, bargaining
like an Arab at a flea market.

Let's see you make it happen.

Then I might be in a
better mood to negotiate.

So this is where you've been all day.

Yeah, doing Fig's job for her.

New company directive. We turn
all our inmate files into scores.

Sounds about right.

Hey, I was wondering if I could
get a personal day tomorrow.

What for?

It's personal.

Yeah. You get your shift
covered, the day's all yours.

Good. Thanks.

Sure must take a lot out of
you, turning people into numbers.

You know, once you get in the flow,

it's actually kind of relaxing.

Warm-ups.

Hey, you came back.

I can't stay. I need to talk to
you about something important.

Me too. Is cumbia a type
of music or a person?

This is serious.

Hola, amiga.

Thought Badison told you not
to show your face around here.

Hey, shut up.

This class is open to everyone.

All right, uh, what's up?

Talk to you later.

Just 'cause you moved blocks
don't mean we forgot you, Mendoza.

Yeah, now we double-hate you, D-Bitch.

Hey! Hey... that was not cool, ladies.

Dance in the back of the class
today and think about your behavior.

What's the square root of 4,096?

Sixty four.

But thanks to PolyCon GED
program, my options are infinite.

I sure hope I pass.

I don't want normal and easy and simple.

I want...

I want...

I want painful...

difficult... devastating...

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

That is Olivia Pope from Scandal.

I am trying to help here.

Okay, let's just do it again.

I thought being in this
video would be less boring

than sitting in my cell all day,

but I can admit when
I'm wrong. Can I leave?

If I have to be here,
you have to be here.

Maybe if someone didn't
keep fucking up...

No. No, no. Um, I am playing the moment.

Okay, people. Hello. Okay.

You need to stick to the script.

You, lose the sourpuss.

And when you say your line,

I need you to look up to the sky

and put your hands
together in prayer. Okay?

Not happening.

You and God have a break-up?

None of your fucking business.

Um...

I'll do it. Or if you want,

I can give it more
of a, uh, Jewish vibe.

Or Hindu.

You know, Buddhists just mostly sit,

but I do have a believable satanist.

Why don't you say the lines
as written, okay, Meryl Streep?

Let's get through this
fucking thing already, please.

You always so angry?

Fuck off.

It wasn't an insult.

Rage can be very useful.

You wanna be useful?

What are you talking about?

D-Block's gearing up for
battle, so if you want in...

- Why aren't we rolling?
- I'm changing the battery.

... Daddy says now's your big chance.

- All set.
- Thank you. And action.

What's the square root of 4,096?

- Sixty-four.
- Sixty-four.

Ah, dang it. Sorry. Sorry.

Hey, you got my list?

Yep. Hot off the presses.

It was a pain in the
ass, but they're all here,

ranked in order from one to 635.

- Excellent.
- What's all this for anyhow?

Some new PolyCon directive
that has us replacing

all the short-sentenced,
well-behaved inmates

with more violent long-termers
who'll give us more bang for the buck.

So corporate gets rich

and we get stuck with the
worst of the worst, huh?

Basically, yeah.

Oh, and the top 25 on the
list get released on Friday,

so you'd better get going
on that outtake prep.

Dinner's on me if you have to stay late.

See, silver lining. Just
keep it under 12 bucks.

Fucking Carol.

She has the attention span of a gnat.

Wooing me with her card games
and her deep-conditioning hooch.

And then one tiny setback...

That last nose-break fixed
my snoring. Have you noticed?

You should be able to
sleep like a baby now.

How can I sleep knowing
Frieda's in Florida

living the life of Riley while
I'm stuck in this cesspool,

missing all the good years
with my grandchildren?

I find that the trick is
to let go of your anger

and focus on what you have.

I lost my sense of smell,
but I still have my smemories.

Like Pop-Pop's tater tot pie.

Smells are not children.

My sniffer's never coming back.
Your grandkids can still visit.

I've been begging my son for months.

Those babies were my one
chance to get it right.

They only love you when
they're little, you know.

And Frieda, she's taken
all that away from me.

Ten more years.

And she got Carol 30.

Yeah, which is three times worse.

And look how well Carol
managed to let it go.

I should have known someone
so petty couldn't be trusted.

No, if I want Frieda dead...

I'll have to do it myself.

Or you could choose to be happy.

Isn't it impossible to
get into Florida anyway?

Bin Laden was squirreled away in
a Pakistani compound for ten years,

but they eventually
got to him, didn't they?

Good on Obama for that one.

The key is to stay
vigilant and keep focused.

Something Carol knows nothing about.

One minute she's with me,

and the next she's only
into her stupid gang war.

I really hope I'm out of
here before that starts.

Oh, my poor girl.

You don't know, do you?

Know what?

You're not getting out early.

That was Carol having her fun with you.

That fucking bitch.

Not so easy to let it go, is it?

Hey, there's the famous radio
DJ. How you doing, FYI Flava Flav?

It's actually DIY Fly Flaca,
but pretty good, I guess.

You know, I'm a big fan of
the show. I never miss it.

- Mmm.
- Um...

Does Luschek still, uh,
oversee that for you?

If by "oversee," you mean sleeps
in a chair nearby, then yeah.

You ever think about having guests
on your show to mix things up a bit?

Right now, I don't even have a cohost.

They're keeping Cindy
overnight for Taystee's trial.

But even when she is here, she's all,

"Wah, my guilt this, ow, my back that."

Must be a Jewish thing.

You know what?

If you want, I could cohost
with you until she gets back.

I'm very entertaining.

You are?

Yeah, okay. Check this out.

What did the snail say
on the back of the turtle?

Whee!

Oh, you get it? 'Cause...

We do more of a casual banter
thing. You think you could do that?

You kidding me? I could
banter like I invented it.

Sorry, I've got the girls double-booked.

That's okay. '80s bangs
aren't really my thing.

Bonnie, Gail, give us a few minutes.

You got a lot of nerve,
interrupting my beauty hour.

You need to get Badison under control.

Since when did you start
telling me what to do?

Since your minion became
hell-bent on stealing Piper's date.

So Badison's a shit-stirrer.

She's like the fucking handheld
blender of shit-stirring.

Girl goes rogue every now and again,

but at the end of the day,
she does what I need her to.

Like bringing in those phones?
Because that was actually my idea.

The connection to Luschek? Mine.

She never mentioned it.

Of course she didn't.

Badison's so desperate
to be your top dog,

she'll never give someone else credit.

You're a very smart woman, Carol.

I honestly don't know
why you keep her around.

Maybe because she's so
desperate to stay my top dog.

And she's got her moves.

Please! I had better
moves in the eighth grade.

By the time I was 21,

I was moving 50 kilos of black
tar through three continents.

You still got connections?

That depends.

You gonna keep Badison
from giving Piper more time?

You must really love this girl.

Yeah, I do.

I do this for you... it means
you're working for me now.

Then I guess we have a deal.

Hey, excuse me.

You're head of the guards, right?

That's me.

So if drugs are coming into
the prison, you're responsible?

What do you mean?

I mean that drugs are
coming into the prison,

and I'm here, as a good citizen...

to turn them in.

Normally, I have no
interest in any of this,

but these drugs are being planted
on me by my sociopathic cellmate,

who is determined to see
me in here till eternity.

Any idea where she got them?

No... but girls talk.

Especially to me. They just open up.

So, if you agree to protect me, I'd
be more than happy to sniff around,

find out exactly who's bringing in what.

Appreciate the help.

Likewise.

Ms. Jefferson, you were
sentenced to Litchfield camp

on a low-level, non-violent
drug offense. Is that correct?

Yes, ma'am.

Sorry. Uh, yes, I was.

And were you guilty of that crime?

Yes. That is why I pled guilty
instead of going to trial.

Could you tell the members of the
jury how that drug charge came about?

Well...

Um, when I aged out of group
home, I didn't have nowhere else...

Excuse me... anywhere else to live.

So, I stayed with a lady
dealer, who gave me a bed

in exchange for me
handling her account books.

Um, that's because I'm good at math.

How many years did you
live in a group home?

Pretty much my entire life. Or at
least for as long as I can remember.

And what was that like for you?

Objection. I don't see how Ms.
Jefferson's childhood is relevant.

I'm getting there.

I'll allow it.

I was asking, what was the group
home environment like for you?

Loud.

I mean, when you get eight
or nine kids in a house,

it's a lot of fighting. So, I was
usually the one breaking it up.

You know, the peacemaker.
Or the referee.

So your role as lead
negotiator in the riot,

that was a familiar one for you?

Yes. Yes, it was.

Ms. Jefferson, why would you take
on this leadership role in the riot

when you could have very easily
chosen not to participate?

Well, I had a best friend once.

And the entire time I knew
her, she never let me down.

Uh, and then she was killed by a guard,

uh, when she didn't even do nothing.

Anything.

Uh, and even then, I never lost hope

because when she was
alive, my friend, Poussey,

she never did, even when life was rough.

So I chose to participate in the riot

because I wanted justice for her death.

So your best friend
was killed by a guard...

and yet you weren't seeking revenge?

No.

I never wanted anybody else to die.

All I wanted was for the
person who killed my friend

to be up here where I am now,

telling you why he murdered...

Why he murdered an innocent person,

instead of me, explaining why
I didn't kill a guilty one.

Scram, losers.

Hey, Carol.

Sure you want to frizz up your
new 'do with all this humidity?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Chasing after Chapman on the playground
when we're gearing up for war?

Ever heard of multitasking?

Seems to me you can't even do
the one fucking job I gave you.

Vause told me the phones were her idea

and using Luschek as our pipeline.

Ideas are like assholes.

We all got 'em and most of 'em stink.

Doesn't matter who thought of what.

I'm the one on the
ground running this thing.

Not anymore, you're not.

You're cutting me loose? In
the middle of a freakin' war?

No. It's never a good idea
to change horses midstream.

That's why I'm pairing
you up with Vause.

Double the flavor, double the fun.

No, forget it. I ain't working with her.

Keep mouthing off and
you'll be working for her.

And if I catch you trying
to steal Chapman's date,

or messing with her in any way...

you can bet your pasty white
ass there'll be consequences.

Hurry, we have two more scenes to go.

Um...

- Hey, Luschek.
- Hey.

- Where you going?
- Um...

Are you wearing mascara?

It's manscara.

It turns out I'm the, uh,
diversity hire for the video.

Don't worry, Alvarez'll
take good care of you.

Hello, let's keep it moving.

We're already way
behind schedule. Come on.

Listen, I got to talk to you.

Just write me a note.

Stupid video. Can you believe
they didn't ask me to be in it?

Maybe they thought
I'd be too distracting.

Yeah, like, "Who's that hot
girl in that lame video?"

I could use some help over here.

I'll do it.

Um, you want to help
us? Get us some water.

I can't leave you unsupervised.

How are we supposed to talk

for two straight hours
if our throats get dry?

Fine. I'll be back in a second.

But technically, it's a
minute-four, round trip,

plus the time it takes
to fill the water.

Um... excuse me.

- Where are you going?
- Yeah, I'll be right there.

Let's go, Reznikov.
You're late for visitation.

I'm not expecting anyone.

There's a couple of
screaming babies in there

and their parents
just gave me your name.

I can't believe it.

He brought my grandchildren.

See, what'd I tell you?

The universe delivers a bounty
as soon as you let things go.

The universe doesn't give a fuck
about any of you. Look where you live.

Even you can't ruin this for me.

- The day is still young.
- Eh.

Hey, guys, I'm calling off
the whole Hellman thing.

That's an ixnay on the BJ. Got it?

Tell that to my dick breath.

Aftertaste's even worse.

How did you blow him
already? It's not even noon.

Oh. I used to be a big procrastinator.

Then I read this book, Eat the Frog.

You read a book about sucking dick?

It's about procrastination.

Says if you do your worst task first,

rest of the day's easy in comparison.

Shit. You didn't see where
Hellman went, did you?

Nope, but I saw where he came.

Yeah, you owe me some mouthwash, bitch.

Hey, boss, got a new incident report,

but all the file boxes are messed
up. What should I do with it?

Just give it to me.

Baba is coming. You wanna talk
to her? Wanna talk to Baba?

You never met your grandkids before?

The baby is still little
and Kolya's only three.

Or is it four? I've lost track.

My God, I don't even know what he likes.

Probably trucks and trains, if
he's anything like his father.

I wonder if he even speaks Russian.

Will he know to call me "Baba"?

Oh, who cares. Let him call
me "Grandma" if he wants.

All right, inmates, you're up.

What the hell, lady?

Look me in the eye, coward.

Back off. Out of the
way. Out of the way!

You were my friend. How could you?

Reznikov!

You're off to the SHU. You
ruined things all on your own.

I trusted you, Frieda!

And you threw me to the
wolves like a bag of old meat.

And for what? Better TV
and some extra pudding cups?

Any minute. She's coming.

I came here today because, um, I
thought that I could trust a guard.

But these COs, they don't give a
shit about protecting any of us.

The truth is that they want us to fight

because they're playing
some sick game with us

where they score points
for everything that we do.

Like the time that you had
a fight with your bunkie,

or the one time, right, that
you may have puked in the sink.

These fuckers... These
fuckers score points from that.

And we're too busy trying to
kill each other to even notice.

I mean, fuck, mamas, what
are we doing to ourselves?

No, wait.

Goddamn, open this door right now.

No. We're destroying ourselves

while they cheer us
on from the sidelines.

Listen, I'm not saying

that we gotta be best
friends or nothing like that,

but, you know, for once,
can't we just stop this shit

with the blue versus khaki, and just...

I don't know, man, be... be
on the same side for once?

That was dope. Seriously.

I'm gonna let him in and then you
gotta say all that shit on the air.

Wait. What do you mean?

Well, the guard has to come in and
use their key to turn that switch.

But that was a great warm-up.

What's going on in here?

Honestly, uh, I have no idea.

She's telling the truth.

She don't know nothing. I was
the one that closed the door.

Go back to your cell, inmate.

Look. Look what I
found. Your scoresheets.

You sick fuck. You know what?

Everyone is gonna find
out what you're doing.

Well, they won't be hearing it from you

because you are going to the SHU.

I fixed it.

What do you mean?

You know how you said
going to a CO wouldn't work?

Well, the trick was
going above their heads

to the big boss, Hopper.

I explained the situation
to him and I promised him

that I would give him intel
on inter-prison goings-on,

and it worked.

I just walked through the common area

and Badison walked around me.

- I think she even kind of smiled.
- Mmm.

That's creepy. It's
good, but it's creepy.

Now we can spend the rest of our
time in here without living in fear.

Nice job. I'm glad it all worked out.

I love you so much.

I love you too, Pipes.

Now what about that grad school app?

Because I was thinking, the trick
is to put the right spin on it.

Like, instead of saying
"former drug dealer,"

we could say that you were
VP of sales and distribution

for Kubra Industries Worldwide.

Very doublespeak creative. I like it.

But, alas, you are too
late. I already sent it in.

You ate the frog. Didn't I
tell you that was a good book?

Oh, you ate the application frog!

You better be careful
or we'll get shots again.

You like it?

Oh, yeah.

She's... She's a beauty.

Good.

Kickball game's in two days.

You need to make enough
of these for all the girls.

Vause get one too?

Let her handle the business front.
I only give weapons to my warriors.

But thanks to PolyCon GED
program, my options are infinite.

The state of Connecticut
is going to eat it up.

They love seeing black
people learning in prison.

It makes them feel like they're
helping, but also that they're safe.

Excuse me.

You give those early release
files to the parole board yet?

No, I haven't had time to review them.

Good. Uh, I gotta make an update.

Well, you better hurry up
because it's due in 14 minutes.

Take your time. We're
gonna be here a while.

Watch this one.

This is like that Michelle Pfeiffer
movie where she's the teacher.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -