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Man with a Plan 405
"Couples Therapy"
Closed Captioned
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00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:05,172
WOMAN: Let the life force
flow through your...
3
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,174
What you doing?
4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,510
I told you he'd be
doing something weird.
5
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,679
Yeah. Where's Donny?
6
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,264
Adam's got big news.
7
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,016
Oh, he left for
couples therapy again.
8
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,935
Thanks for helping me up,
by the way.
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00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,229
So, what's the big news?
10
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,481
Lowell, I bought a boat.
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00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,942
We were leaving the lumber yard,
and some guy was selling
12
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,944
his bass boat real cheap
in the parking lot,
13
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,278
so I went for it.
14
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,322
There she is.
15
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,865
That's my boat.
16
00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,369
How'd you get Andi to
finally let you buy one?
17
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,870
Oh, I used a new strategy.
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00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,789
I didn't tell her.
19
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:39,915
And you're still married.
20
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,208
It's a mystery.
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00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,752
This is the only way
it can work.
22
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,504
All right, I've brought up
buying a boat in the past,
23
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,714
and Andi always
shot me down.
24
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,008
Wives, our beloved
life partners...
25
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:53,136
who take a flame thrower
to our dreams.
26
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,056
My problem was it was
always a hypothetical boat,
27
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,433
so I could never push it
across the finish line.
28
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,893
Now that I've bought a boat,
29
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,979
I'm working
from a place of fear.
30
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,314
You see, fear sharpens you.
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00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,109
Like, you can only run so fast.
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00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,777
But when a lion's chasing you,
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you can run a little faster.
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00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,699
Not faster than a lion.
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00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,161
The boat's getting
delivered Tuesday.
36
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,748
So I have a week to figure out
how to get a yes from Andi.
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00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,667
You need to make Andi
think it's her idea.
38
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,336
Wives always love
their own ideas.
39
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,463
That's true, even if
they're not good ones.
40
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,007
Like throw pillows.
41
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,592
Who needs a hundred pillows
nobody sleeps on?
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00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,053
Our houses are
full of damn pillows.
43
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,806
All right, so all I have to do
44
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,225
is get Andi to suggest a boat.
45
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,727
Then I just agree.
46
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By next week we'll be
seasick, sunburned
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00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:46,773
and peeing in a lake,
like God intended.
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00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,650
It'll be like the old days
when I used
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00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,360
to rent a boat
to take you fishing.
50
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,487
Yeah, but better,
because we'll own it.
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00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,573
Yeah. A boat is like a woman.
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00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:57,242
It doesn't feel right
to pay for it by the hour.
53
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,832
All right, boy.
54
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,501
Look like a guy
who really needs a boat.
55
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,420
I know what I'm doing.
56
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,921
I'm gonna walk her
right into it.
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(sighs)
Boy...
58
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,260
what a day, oh.
59
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,678
Aw, honey, what's wrong?
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00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,679
Are you okay?
61
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,264
You know what I am?
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00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,891
Stressed!
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00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,518
That's what I am.
64
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,811
Well, I don't like that.
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00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,772
Is there anything
I can do?
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00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,650
Well... maybe...
67
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,151
maybe it would help me to relax
68
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,694
if I did something,
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00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,988
uh, water-related.
70
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,866
You know, there are certain
things a wife can do
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00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,327
to relieve her
husband's stress.
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00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,247
Yeah, I know the
things, Bev, thanks.
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00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,086
Uh, hey, if you
like the water,
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00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,171
maybe you should take
a walk around the lake.
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00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,756
That's not one
of the things.
76
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,925
Although, you can
do mine in a lake.
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00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,551
That's close.
78
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,846
Yeah, I like where you're
headed with this lake thing.
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00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,181
You know who's relaxed?
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00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,474
Ducks.
81
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,727
What?
82
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,688
Oh, that's right, ducks.
83
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,941
You know, I bet it's because
they're on the lake.
84
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,151
That's the key.
85
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,905
So how do you get a duck's life?
86
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:20,033
But I like being a person.
87
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,701
How much have you
guys had to drink?
88
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,247
Wow.
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00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,915
Sorry we're late.
90
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,917
We were making out in
the car like teenagers.
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00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,335
That's right, we would've
gone all the way,
92
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,920
but there's a lot
of looky-loos out there
93
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,171
walking their dogs.
Mm-hmm.
94
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:37,384
See how she used her
body to relax him?
95
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,386
That's what I was
talking about.
96
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,179
Oh, my God!
97
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,890
We were just looking for ways
to help me deal with stress.
98
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,434
You know, fishing around.
99
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,812
It's all hands
on deck over here.
100
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,564
Maybe you should try
couples therapy,
101
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,982
It's great.
102
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,483
No, that's not
what I'm talking about.
103
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,819
Andi, that's not what
I'm talking about.
104
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,155
Well, it really
changed Don.
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00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,240
Yeah, it turned him
into a Bee Gee.
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00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,491
I thought Marcy
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00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,285
wouldn't let you wear
that silk shirt.
108
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,661
This is the real me.
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00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,037
Dr. Chuck says
that Marcy was wrong
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00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,664
to control my fashion choices.
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00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,833
He's our therapist,
and he made me realize
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00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,919
that when Don wears this shirt
it's not supportive for me
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00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,838
to say that he looks
like an unemployed pimp.
114
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:18,508
Well, Marcy, I think it is so
healthy that you're working
115
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,302
on your relationship
with your husband...
116
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:23,013
the roller rink DJ.
117
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,682
Here's Dr. Chuck's card.
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00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,392
You guys should
give it a whirl.
119
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,936
Maybe she's right.
120
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,605
I mean, you might
be stressed out
121
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,648
because there's something
bottled up inside you.
122
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,066
Like a ship in a bottle!
123
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,738
No. No, no, no, no.
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00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,199
Therapy is not
for guys like me.
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00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,867
All right, it's just
a bunch of mumbo-jumbo
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00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,785
that doesn't do anything.
127
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,746
Tony Soprano
did therapy.
128
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,664
And yet the murdering
continued.
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00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,251
You know what
might help me relax?
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00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,295
Singing. Yeah.
131
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,339
♪ Row, row, row your... ♪
132
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,382
Take it home, Andi.
133
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,762
♪ ♪
134
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,896
Well, that went nowhere.
135
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,357
Andi wasn't even close
to suggesting a boat.
136
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,817
She just thinks I got drunk
and want to be a duck.
137
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,653
Marcy was right.
138
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,029
Take her to couples therapy.
139
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,405
No way.
140
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,533
Therapists always
agree with the wife.
141
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,159
The first class
you take in shrink school
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00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,704
is "Husbands: How to Put
Their Nuts in a Box."
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00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,581
Dr. Chuck always sides with me.
144
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,417
Until he doesn't,
and then it's boxed nuts.
145
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,378
You don't get it.
146
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,629
I met Chuck at the gym.
147
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,713
He's going through
a bad divorce,
148
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,006
so he's pretty mad at wives.
149
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,800
When I heard
he did couples therapy,
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00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,969
I locked that down.
151
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:48,306
The best part is
Don's excited to go to therapy.
152
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,308
I could never get Adam to go.
153
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,227
Well, it's hard for me
to open up, too,
154
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,938
but part of the therapy process
is acknowledging that
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00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,774
I'm a flawed human being,
and that's okay.
156
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,234
I could've told you that
for free.
157
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,153
Anyway.
158
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,282
The thing I like most
about therapy
159
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,117
is the honesty.
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00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,953
It's totally rigged.
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00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,997
Dr. Chuck could be
your answer, Adam.
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00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,916
I say get on the Chuckwagon.
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00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,085
I'm not paying
some quack 150 bucks
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00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,087
to do what I can do myself.
165
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,548
I still have a week--
I'll just use my brains
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00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,301
and charisma
to get Andi on board.
167
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,470
So we're not getting a boat.
168
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,889
Don't underestimate me.
169
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,141
Superman can fly.
170
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,934
Batman has the Batmobile.
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00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,979
I can wear a woman down.
172
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,106
There she is.
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00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:41,985
I saved the last brownie
for my beautiful bride.
174
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,196
What do you want, sex?
175
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,365
No. Well...
176
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,701
No, no. I'm just happy.
177
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:53,079
This is my idea
of a perfect life.
178
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,414
Oh.
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00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,957
The only thing that would
make it more perfect
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00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,500
would be if this couch was--
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00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,128
I don't know... a boat.
182
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,339
(groans)
That's what this is about?
183
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,800
Well, yeah.
Aw, man, can't we just have sex?
184
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,344
On a boat? Sure.
185
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,012
Yeah, we could just lay there
186
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,680
and let the water
do the work.
187
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,516
Okay, we are not
getting a boat.
188
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,602
All right, if you want
something expensive that leaks,
189
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,021
let's just get another kid.
190
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,940
I know you're against it, but
when I look out in the driveway
191
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,193
and don't see a boat there,
it makes me wonder why
192
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,321
I'm even on this
crazy blue ball!
193
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,239
Too much?
194
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,618
Come on, let's get a boat!
195
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,994
I'll even name it after you.
196
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,663
Probably.
197
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,957
Sorry, honey.
198
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,919
Okay, I didn't want
to have to do this, but...
199
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:43,338
kids, could you
come in here, please?
200
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,680
Would you tell Mommy why
you're so sad all the time?
201
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,599
Because we don't have a boat.
202
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,268
Healthy children
need fresh air.
203
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,105
I think a boat will keep me away
from all those boys at school.
204
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,023
They only want
one thing.
205
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,984
Sorry, honey,
you're outnumbered.
206
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,238
I'm off to go shopping
for the SS Maybe Andi.
207
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:12,033
We're not getting a boat.
208
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,744
Can we still go out for ice
cream even though she said no?
209
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,246
You didn't even sell it.
210
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,831
You were Peter Pan
in the school play.
211
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,624
Where was that magic?
212
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,625
(grunts)
213
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,087
You know, the oceans are rising.
214
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,630
I'm just wondering
215
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,173
how we're gonna survive
without a--
No.
216
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,175
(groans)
217
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,725
Dr. Chuck, huh?
218
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,476
Well, you ain't cheating,
219
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,146
you ain't trying.
220
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,106
Honey, I know I'm driving you
crazy with this boat talk,
221
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,150
but I can't help myself.
222
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,776
Maybe you're right.
223
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,945
We need to see Dr. Chuck.
224
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,115
You want to see a therapist?
225
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,241
Well, why not?
226
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,118
He's an impartial third party.
227
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:59,038
And if he agrees with you, I
will drop the boat idea forever.
228
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,000
Wow! Um, o-okay.
(laughs)
229
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,752
I'll make an appointment
next week.
230
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,713
Sooner's better--
before Tuesday, for example.
231
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,965
Yeah, I got to say,
Adam, I'm impressed.
232
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,925
Oh.
I mean, ten years ago,
you would've just
233
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,802
bought a boat
and then lied about it.
234
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,180
(both laughing)
235
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,434
I can't believe Adam
agreed to go to therapy.
236
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:22,228
Yeah, he has never been
this open-minded.
237
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,646
Yeah, I might ride this wave
238
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,148
and see if I can get him
to try quinoa.
239
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,316
Oh.
240
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,567
I'm making Joe go, too.
241
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,736
He has issues.
242
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,989
The man goes out to get
the paper in his underwear.
243
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,533
The neighbors had a
whole meeting about it.
244
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,329
Bev, are-are you
meeting Joe's needs?
245
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:43,208
'Cause there's certain things
a wife can do.
246
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,959
Why do you think he's
in his underwear?
247
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,046
All right, let's get going, Bev.
248
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,215
I feel like fish
sticks for dinner.
249
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,884
You want fish sticks, Joe?
Yeah.
250
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,261
I want a husband
who wears pants.
251
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,806
Is this about me
252
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,058
getting the paper again?
I'm afraid so.
253
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,601
Well, the neighborhood ladies
like it.
254
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,061
They had a whole meeting
about it.
255
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,650
Okay, well, uh,
I better get going, too.
256
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,486
I want to pick the perfect
outfit for therapy.
257
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,947
Something that says that I'm
willing to work on my faults,
258
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,532
but that I don't have any.
259
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,243
Well, I hope you like it
more than I do.
260
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,953
I think I'm gonna stop going.
261
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,205
Wha-- What happened?
262
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,290
Whenever I bring up something
crazy that Don did,
263
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,626
Dr. Chuck says it's my fault.
264
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,169
Really?
Mm-hmm.
265
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,255
Did you tell him about the time
that Don said he was going
266
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,550
to the car wash but he really
went to Vegas for the weekend?
267
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,261
My fault because
I was smothering him.
268
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,679
What? That doesn't
make any sense.
269
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,556
Where did you find this doctor?
270
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,057
Oh, I didn't, Don did.
271
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,851
Don found him?
272
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,727
Yeah, I was proud of him.
273
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,688
He doesn't usually
take the initiative.
274
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:49,941
Oh, my God. Marcy, wake up.
275
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,901
Chuck-- Chuck is a ringer.
276
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,194
What?
Look,
277
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,613
Don obviously got
some weirdo doctor
278
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,991
to tell you that you were wrong
about everything.
279
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,409
I mean, is there any
other explanation
280
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,704
for that Motown
backup singer shirt?
281
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,706
(gasps)
He is so gonna pay.
282
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,208
He wore that thing to church.
283
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,168
In front of God.
284
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,714
A-And now Adam
is working the same scam
285
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,923
to get a boat.
286
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,259
(scoffs)
Why am I surprised?
287
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,719
He was raised by a man
288
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,387
who wanders the streets
in his underpants.
289
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,556
Oh...
290
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,394
This is exciting.
291
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,688
I can't wait to get in there
and hash this all out,
292
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,108
see what Dr. Chuck
thinks about the boat.
293
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,069
Hey. You seem confident.
294
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,447
I believe in science, Andi.
295
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,284
Adam, Andi, I'm Dr. Felicia.
296
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,286
Come on back to my office.
297
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,957
Where's Chuck?
298
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,126
Oh, Chuck wasn't available,
so I made an appointment
299
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,337
with his colleague Dr. Felicia.
300
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,470
What's wrong?
I don't want to.
301
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,725
So, I hear we're going to be
talking about a boat today.
302
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,227
I don't want to.
303
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,198
Chuck's not here.
304
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,200
Run!
305
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,665
I still don't understand
what happened.
306
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,751
We agreed on Dr. Chuck.
307
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,753
No, we agreed on therapy.
308
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,923
Which we got, and I for one,
am a very satisfied customer.
309
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,759
I already gave her
five stars on Yelp.
310
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,427
She is a boat hater.
311
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,389
If we'd gone with Chuck,
I'd be waterskiing right now.
312
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,765
Of course you would.
313
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,268
Because he was a ringer,
a phony, a fraud.
314
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,688
You don't know that.
315
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,439
Do you?
316
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,608
How do you know that?
317
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,277
You tried to rig therapy
to get a boat.
318
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,530
I tried a whole bunch of things
to get a boat.
319
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,117
And if you had fallen for one of
those, we wouldn't even be here.
320
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,536
Well, I know one thing for sure.
321
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:11,749
There will never, ever
be a boat in that driveway.
322
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,757
It's not Tuesday.
What?
323
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,884
I'm-I'm just saying days
of the week it's not.
324
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,553
(stammers)
You know what?
325
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,222
Honey, I have put you
through so much.
326
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,515
Let me take you out to dinner.
327
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,269
Huh? If we sprint,
we can still make happy hour.
328
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,937
Why are we going this way?
Well, we're not going out
329
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,773
the back door, like savages.
330
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,901
I want the whole world
to see my beautiful wife.
331
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,112
(chuckles)
332
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:44,115
Evening, Mr. Burns.
I'm here to drop off your boat.
333
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,994
On second thought,
I'd rather eat in.
334
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,794
It's not your fault, sir.
I'm sorry for all the cursing.
335
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,589
(chuckles):
She didn't know about the boat.
336
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,382
Yeah, you're the third
drop-off this week
337
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,468
where the wife didn't know.
338
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,470
What did those guys do?
339
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,597
I just deliver the boats, man.
340
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,269
Ahoy, Captain.
341
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,814
We brought you champagne
to christen ye new vessel.
342
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,149
(quietly):
Uh, now's not a good time.
343
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,151
I got the boat
delivered early
344
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,611
so we could take it
out this weekend.
345
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,112
What are you guys
fighting about?
346
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,283
Adam bought a boat
after I said no.
347
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,951
Wrong.
348
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,953
I bought the boat
before you said no.
349
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,581
I spent all this time
trying to get you to say yes.
350
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,166
You don't know everything.
351
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,627
Okay, w-well, w-wait a minute.
352
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,420
S-So a-all that stuff,
353
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,840
t-the therapy, t-the
brownie, the kids,
354
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,385
was all because you
already bought a boat?
355
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,679
I should've known. You
never save me a brownie.
356
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,310
Okay, yes, I did
everything wrong.
357
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,646
But you know,
it just didn't seem fair.
358
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,398
Can we have a boat? I say yes,
you say no, so it's a no.
359
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,483
Why is the wife's no
360
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,027
more powerful
than the husband's yes?
361
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,530
Because without our no,
it's chaos.
362
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,739
A man's life expectancy
363
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,950
would be 30
because you'd all drown
364
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,202
in Jacuzzis filled with beer.
365
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:15,665
Which reminds me,
you also said no to a Jacuzzi.
366
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,501
Marriage is supposed
to be 50-50, right?
367
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,086
No, no, no, no.
368
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,547
It's 51-49.
369
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:26,008
Yeah, the house has the edge,
just like blackjack.
370
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,678
How are you the house?
I built the house.
371
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,514
All you did was fill it
with these pillows.
372
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:35,184
Are you saying that my only
contribution to this house
373
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,186
is pillows?
374
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,191
I think we've gotten off track.
375
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,695
You're only mad about the boat.
Remember that.
376
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,072
Still in the driveway.
Can you believe I did that?
377
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,827
He bought a boat
without telling me.
378
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,245
And then he lied about it.
379
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,956
Yeah. He did that.
While we were married.
380
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,418
Get him, Felicia.
381
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,211
Well, you're clearly very
passionate about boats.
382
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,546
In our last session,
you said you had
383
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,549
to have one because boats
are "bitchin'."
384
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,092
I stand by that.
385
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,428
He stands by it, Felicia.
386
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,638
Okay, look, I know
where this is going.
387
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,641
And if it'll save time, I will
put my own nuts in that box.
388
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,229
That's where I keep
my father's ashes.
389
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,734
Sorry for your loss.
390
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,279
You know, in many relationships,
there's a lot of grey areas.
391
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,741
But in this situation,
we have the benefit of clarity.
392
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,660
Clinically speaking, Adam,
you're super wrong.
393
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:39,457
That is the best 150
bucks I ever ever spent.
394
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,750
Thanks, Felicia.
You've been very helpful.
395
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,752
Hang on. We're
not done here.
396
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,712
We've identified the problem,
397
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,131
but now let's see if there's
and underlying cause.
398
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,176
Eh, I'm good with super
wrong. Do you take checks?
399
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,260
There's no money
in that account.
400
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,887
I spent it all on the boat.
401
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,306
Adam, you risked
402
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,266
your most important relationship
for this,
403
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,894
so there must be something
deeper going on.
404
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,104
When you think about the boat,
what comes to mind?
405
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,106
The boat.
406
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,777
I'm talking about maybe
a-a special memory or feeling.
407
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:11,739
Oh. Uh...
408
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,742
I guess I think about my dad
taking me out fishing
409
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,160
when I was a kid.
410
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,828
Now we're getting somewhere.
411
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,081
No, we're not.
Stay with me, Felicia.
412
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,084
When we were on the boat,
413
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,420
we'd laugh
and crack dirty jokes.
414
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,048
He'd let me have
a sip of his beer.
415
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,051
Yeah, it was, like, for one day,
416
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:36,347
he stopped barking at me
and we were pals.
417
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,099
That's very touching, Adam.
418
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:41,394
I'm glad my dad was in the
room to hear you say that.
419
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:43,980
So the idea
420
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,232
of the boat is very emotional
for you.
421
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,318
Yeah. I guess.
422
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,697
(scoffs) You know,
the more I think about it,
423
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,448
when I bought the boat,
424
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,784
I was hoping to have some fun
times like that with our kids.
425
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,203
They're growing up so fast.
426
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,622
Well, that's why I
was against the boat.
427
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,624
Time is precious,
428
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,335
and I didn't want it taking
you away from the family.
429
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,129
That's the thing I'm realizing.
430
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,006
I didn't want
the boat just for me.
431
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,091
I wanted it for us.
432
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,760
I can't believe you
never told me that.
433
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,512
I didn't even know
that was in there.
434
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,848
It snuck up on me, like a burp.
435
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,474
Ah.
(chuckles)
436
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,476
I think I might be deep.
437
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,569
Don, Marcy, come on back.
438
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,487
I'm Dr. Felicia.
439
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,532
Where's Chuck?
440
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,242
Chuck can't save you now.
441
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,870
Up you go.
442
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,872
I don't want to.
443
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,129
Never again.
444
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,389
(sighs)
445
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,225
Hey. Back to flannel, huh?
446
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,437
Dr. Felicia was brutal.
She pounded me like a speed bag.
447
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,898
So you're selling it?
448
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,858
Yeah, it's for the best.
Man.
449
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:14,987
I learned it wasn't about
the boat, it was about family.
450
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,573
Can't drink beer and pee off
the side of a family, though.
451
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,411
You can take the sign down.
I found a buyer for your boat.
452
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,704
Well, that was fast.
453
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,955
Yeah, it's a lady
454
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,499
who wants to buy it
for her husband.
455
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,959
He was professionally diagnosed
as super wrong,
456
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,045
but, you know,
457
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:35,257
now that she understands why
the boat's been a dream of his,
458
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:38,135
she wants to make it happen.
459
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,887
Oh, Andi.
460
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,555
(both laugh)
461
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:45,184
Wow, that's almost exactly
what happened to you.
462
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,061
Go home, Don.
463
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,063
It's a crazy world.
464
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,736
Thanks, Dr. Chuck.
Great session.
465
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,988
I didn't realize
me wanting you
466
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,574
to wear pants
was smothering you.
467
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,451
I'm sorry.
468
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,496
I-I think you're perfect, Bev,
but it might be worth
469
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,457
making some changes
since Dr. Chuck said so. Hmm?
470
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,210
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
471
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,546
Captioned by
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