All language subtitles for Jonathan Creek - 1x04 - The Reconstituted Corpse.DVD.BDK.en

Reading Rock Festival 1979
is deliriously thrilled to welcome

the holy trinity of Edwin Droodl

On electric fiddle,
the legendary Roy Pilgriml

- Are you sure you know where you're going?
- L'll be fine.

HE-E-E-ELP!

You're listening to Classic FM.
Coming up next, Vivaldi.

Morning. Is there a problem? What's happened?

Do you know Mr Pilgrim?
We're getting no reply.

L'm his fianc�e. He should be in.
He's expecting me at nine.

What's this all about?

Roy?

Roy?

In here!

What the hell's happened to you?

Got a crack on the back of the head. Thought
they'd gone. One caught me from behind.

They rifled the safe
and then cuffed me to this thing,

so I couldn't raise the alarm.

L think you'll need a hacksaw.

Before we go into this, there is another matter

concerning a...

What kind of sick games
have you been playing?!

How many of you saw this girl?

We all did, sir.

Where is she?
Her mother's worried out of her mind.

Who?

The pretty little thing
you invited for tea and crumpets!

Don't pull that innocent routine!
Why do you think the police are here?

Francine, I haven't a clue...

Mr Pilgrim, can you tell us where you were
at four o'clock yesterday afternoon?

Is this a joke?

L haven't moved from here in 20 hours!

L'm not Harry Houdini!
Is someone trying to be funny?

Nothing funny about a missing person,
Mr Pilgrim.

We know she left home yesterday morning
for this address.

It appears she was seen by six eye-witnesses
entering your house through this door

at 4.00, as the school bus was arriving.

- Someone's putting you on.
- Mr Pilgrim, a straight answer, please!

Did you let a 16-year-old girl named
Tracy Cook into this house yesterday?

L don't know what you're playing at,
but let's lay it to rest now.

L've been sat here staring
at these four walls since midday yesterday

till the moment you arrived.

And, on my granny's grave, no one
has come in through those French windows.

OK, so, if your friend in the back
could stick an old sock in it this time,

perhaps we can get this one alone
to give the illusion that we have a brain!

OK... go.

"At the post box, look fore and aft to see
the sea. What year does it appear to be?"

- Fore and aft...
- It's in front of us and behind us.

- To see the sea...
- Tough one.

To see the sea, what year does it appear
to be? Fore and aft...

There's the sea on this pub sign.

What year does it appear to be?

The building's Jacobean.
What's that? Early 17th century?

Too vague. Anyway, it's sideways on,
so it doesn't work.

Um... what seas are there, then?

- Red Sea...
- Black Sea...

- Black Sea... Dead Sea...
- Irish Sea...

- What year does it appear...
... To be?

All right, what's the answer?

1983.

Why?!

You see that old Vauxhall back there?

How do you look forwards and backwards
at it at the same time?

Oh-h!

A reg - 1983.

Well, how do they expect anybody
in the whole wide world to get that?!

Another miracle!
And, see, it was all done with mirrors!

Greg, if you're planning to open your legs
any wider, let me know, I'll get out the car.

Hello?

Yes. We've just done clue 24, I'm afraid.

Yes, I know, it's desperately boring.

Thanks to Abracadabra here,
we'll be finished by half past.

OK, see you in the pub. Bye, babe.

L've got a bum bandit on my tail.
Pull back, you little...!

STUPID, BIRD-HEADED BITCH!

If she calls me Abracadabra once more,
I may go berserk with that emery board,

file down her face till it resembles an egg.

It's just Sheena's way.
L think she quite likes you.

L can't tell you how much I've enjoyed
sharing the back with Mr Biceps,

who expands like a gas to fill any space.

L felt his thigh pulse through my trousers!

Will you make the effort?
She is my best friend!

So that's what you do? Sit at home all day
and think up conjuring tricks?

- How amazingly pointless!
- Thank you.

What's the deal between you and Maddy?

L mean, is it like serious passion time here?

How far into your world is she allowed to go?

L mean, have you shown her
your magic wand yet?

Wedding? I

You've got some nerve, Ron! This is not real!

Hello, lover's tiff?

Thanks, treasure.

That's the cow that carved me up!

Got other things on her mind, obviously.

OK, you want me to believe you've changed?

You'll never change, Roy!

L'm condemned before I start?!
L don't get a chance?!

Six eye-witnesses watched her
walk into your house!

It's a conspiracy! They were bought off!

Six schoolboys, Roy?!

Francine, I never touched her! L never saw her!

For God's sake, just leave!
Don't contaminate my life!

Oops-a-daisy.

Go on, chuck it down the drain,
show her what you think of her!

He still loves her, you see?

Probably just wants the money back.

- Are you all blind?!
- What's your problem?

Can't you see who that is? That guy?

Who?

Who?! That is Roy Pilgrim!

You are KIDDING me!

- No!
- Who's Roy Pilgrim?

Roy Pilgrim!

Edwin Drood?

You probably liked them, did you?

They were in the vanguard
of progressive rock through the 70s and 80s!

- They made some seminal stuff!
- That's a polite way of saying it.

L suppose you liked Percy Sledge?

- Ah, now you're talking!
- Yes, Percy!

- We loved Percy.
- We loved Percy!

We loved him, but not
quite as much as we loved Otis!

L know, I've just seen it.

Kids'll tell you anything to be part
of the story. L don't know what they saw.

Appearances can be deceptive.

Yes. Despite the appearance of something
in your trousers, you haven't a leg to stand on.

You haven't got a case. You've taken
my house to pieces and scored zero.

Mr Pilgrim, you...

Are you any good with these?

You say you never left the room
from about midday onwards?

Sure, plumbed into the heating system!

You don't think you could have
passed out again?

Fallen asleep?

Thanks.

L didn't pass out. L was awake until it got dark.

L knew I was stuck there till Francine
arrived, so I used the time.

L wrote three songs
to get my mind off my bladderl

And at 4.00?

3.00-4.00, I listened to Classic FM,
so that fixes the time.

At 4.00, they went into Vivaldi,
so I switched it off.

L'm staring right at the window
where she's supposed to have come in.

Did you write to this girl inviting her
to come and meet you on Monday?

- Why would I do that?
- She was young, attractive.

She'd sent you photos.

You're sick
and what you are suggesting is sick.

And what am I suggesting, Mr Pilgrim?

That Tracy Cook found her hero
wanted to give her more than an autograph?

That it all got very nasty

in ways I don't like to think about.

Afterwards, to give yourself an alibi,
you cooked up the burglars and radiators!

Like I told your colleague before you arrived,

the only thing that come in
through those French windows was a frog.

- If I...
- What do you mean?

Er... little green frog with a red belly.

What do you mean, "Told our colleague"?

I...

...never said I was the police.

L just said I'd like help with my enquiries.

You're not his legal advisor?

Legal advisor?

Hi?

In here. L'm cooking.

What's the matter with you?

L was just reminded of that quote
by Robert Oppenheimer,

"I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds. "

L overdid the croutons slightly.

It's like Gandhi's funeral pyre in here!

Yes. Now you've put the gas out, thank you

L was getting on fine till you arrived!

This lightness of touch you have
in the kitchen is a joy to behold

So, tell me about Pilgrim.
Is he capable of murder?

L've heard him sing, obviously.

L don't get it. Six witnesses
all saw her go in at four o'clock.

Now, if that's right, he hasn't got a prayer.

Yet he swears blind he was in the room
all afternoon fully conscious and saw no one.

He's either very stupid or very devious.

- Or neither.
- What do you mean?

Maybe he's saying it because it's true.

Is that supposed to be doing that?

Two more minutes. What do you mean, true?

A girl can't vanish into thin air
while walking through a pair of French...

Do you know, I never know when
you're winding me up. That's the trouble.

Do you want to pick us out
a bottle of something?

Any particular one?

What's this?

Oh, petrol.

Petrol?!

L can't leave it in the car. Things get nicked!

L'll put it in the hall, shall I?

By the canisters of napalm

So this is the guy, Jacob Flowers,
who stuck the note under my wiper?

What's his connection with Pilgrim?

Heard of a cult called the Creed of Eden?

No.

They're into some kind of eco-religious thing.

The world is God's garden, all life is sacred.

It's easier for a rich man to enter
a camel if he stands on a box.

This character is their grand prophet
and founding father.

- If you know your history of rock...
- Intimately.

You'll know it was on Edwin Drood's tour
of the States in July '87

that Roy Pilgrim
became a disciple of the order,

leading to the break-up of the group

and some deadly solo albums
about rainforests and dolphins.

So, Flowers will stick up for Pilgrim
because they're buddies,

or maybe he knows something
about this that we don't.

Don't scrape that off! It's meant to be
that colour, it's Cajun! Blackened catfish.

Looks more like halibut to me.

Blackened halibut, then. L had to improvise.

Can we have less pedanticism and just eat.

The word is pedantry.

No, Mr Danziger, a trifle baffling won't do!

A trifle baffling doesn't get near it!

My fianc�e's dumped me, I'm looking
at charges of abduction or murder,

all because I wasn't smart enough to lie!

They can put the cast
of "Goodbye, Mr Chips" on the stand,

but it doesn't change what I saw!

If you're any kind of lawyer, you'd better...

Look, I'll call you back.

That's the one.
You could hardly miss her from here.

So... when she pressed this bell,

someone...

must have let her in.

- What are you doing?
- You need to check it out.

- L can't go in there!
- Why not?

Roy Pilgrim!

L can't meet Roy Pilg...

You're talking about mythology!

You reduce someone to flesh and blood,
the whole thing's destroyed. The whole icon!

Jonathan, you're beginning to sound like a prat.

Sorry.

What does it take
to make you go away?

L'm sorry about yesterday,
but I'm interested in helping you, actually.

If you'll just take a minute to let us in.

What are you?

Right now, Mr Pilgrim?
We're the only hope you've got.

The white room. L'm standing in the white room!

The white room!

Yes, it's... certainly white, all right, no question.

The white room
is like a... chamber of contemplation.

It's where I centre creatively.

And the actual Bandawi bush cats!

Utterly amazing!

Hand-carved speaker cabinets presented
by the Gambian percussionist Joshua Bandawi

- in... what year where you there?
- 1973.

L think you'll find it was '76.

Because "Tribal Jam"
didn't hit the charts until early '77.

We were in Zaire in '76.

No. You were deported from Zaire in May '75.

After Martin Crow rode into the president's
jacuzzi on a wildebeest.

Mad as a light bulb!

Yeah. Er... I don't suppose
you see much of the others now, do you,

since the old firm split up?

The band was always riven
by petty factionalism.

L lived with them for 15 years.

That's 15 years too long.

And then came the Creed of Eden.
That's been quite a crusade for you.

L try to follow my conscience.

Jacob Flowers seems to be on your side.

He left a note on my windscreen.

They have a commune
about 20 minutes away - Hog's Belly Farm.

L've been a kind of... patron for them.

L guess he's as rattled about this as I am.
Is that one o'clock?

L've got to record "The Waltons".

"The Waltons"?

L'll be two seconds.

So...

Have you found something clever?

The gateway to a parallel dimension?

"The Waltons"?!

Jonathan!

- The French windows.
- What?

What do you want me to say? They're French
windows that people walk in and out of!

The blinds are Venetian blinds
and the floor is just a...

What?

No, it's just the way these figures
are slightly faded.

You see, down here?

And down here.

They're faded on the wrong side, surely?

- These speakers, do they get moved about?
- Never.

They were positioned for perfect balance
15 years ago. Why do you ask?

L could be wrong,

but it looks to me as if someone
has recently swapped them round.

Well, I don't know.

L mean, it's too incredible for words.

Roy Pilgrim watches "The Waltons".

But does that make him a murderer?

Here, you can navigate.

Where to?

L thought we'd pay a visit to Hog's Belly Farm.

Good afternoon.

- Hi, my name's...
- Madeleine, right? We're expecting you.

Toby Flowers.

Guess you got the note from my uncle, huh?

Well, it did intrigue me.

Oh, this is my friend Jonathan.

Hi, are you a journalist, too?

More in the way of a technical advisor,
aren't you?

On this business of the missing girl.

It's the weirdest thing, isn't it?

She could have walked in through that window
and never arrived the other side.

Spooky, kind of, wouldn't you say?

Now, do you want to come with me?

L know my Uncle Jacob and Aunt Polly
are keen to see you.

They're just up ahead bonding with the trees.

And up...

...and down.

Circling and caressing the trunk with your trunk!

If you feel you want to lick or nibble
the bark, don't be afraid to do that.

Let the love flow from your body

rhythmically into the tree.

Down through the roots,

into the earth.

Remember, the tree will get
as much pleasure from this as you will.

Do you do this sort of thing regularly, then?

Since I met Jacob, 18 years ago now.
It's a really liberating experience.

Especially for Polly,
who grew up in East London.

- Which part? Barking?
- Mile End. Quite close.

L've never seen anybody get that friendly
with a knothole. Almost grounds for divorce!

You ever been up in an oak tree, Jonathan?

It's true. We all owe
a tremendous debt to Roy Pilgrim.

This whole estate,
everything you see, is down to his support

and generosity.

He was the greatest benefactor
you could ask for.

How do you mean, was?

L won't pretend this new fianc�e of his
was devoted to our cause.

Francine Faraday.

She runs
a small investment consultancy somewhere,

so she's probably
in need of spiritual enlightenment.

So she was leading him
off the straight and narrow?

It's for Roy to choose his own destiny.

We were glad he'd found a relationship that
works for him, but now, with these rumours...

If you can shed any light on this, Madeleine,
to clear Roy's name,

believe me, your efforts will not go
unrewarded, and we're not talking money.

Come with me. L want to show you something.

There are four more underway back home,

in Utah, Wyoming, Maine and New Mexico.

Because the day will come,
make no mistake about that.

And I'll make you a promise.

Help Roy and there will be two seats
waiting for you

on the journey to the new world!

No way!

What, like, an ark as in Noah?!

- L don't believe you.
- L don't believe me and I was there!

Seriously potty people, can't tell you!

What do the police think? That he did her in.
He'll bluff it out until they find a body.

If they find a body.

L thought it was all down
to Marvo the Mystic here.

What happened?
Did your special powers desert you?

He did find something, actually.
Two funny speaker cabinets inside the door

had been switched round.

Because that's where he'd hidden her,
after he'd sawed her in half!

No?

OK, why would you deliberately swap round
a couple of speakers?

- That's the question.
- That's not the question.

What do you mean?

- Well, you wouldn't.
- So, what's the point?

None whatsoever, I should think.

All right, you've lost me.

L think what he is saying
is that it could be accidental.

Consider it this way round.
Someone comes into Pilgrim's house.

For whatever reason, they remove
a pair of identical-looking speakers.

Later, they return them. Because they look
alike, they put them back wrong way round.

But who would steal a pair of speakers
and then just put them back again?

A very honest burglar?

Better split, I think.
Adam said he might call from Vegas.

L thought I'd check out the other
band members of Edwin whatsit.

If I get anything, I'll ring you.

See you, Sheena.

Glenn, have you got a moment
to talk to this journalist about Roy Pilgrim?

- From...?
- L'm freelance. Maddy Magellan.

Mr McArthur. L can't believe I just shook the
hand that played guitar on "Hoodoo Woman"!

Now I can die happy. No, I was after a bit
of background on your ex-colleague.

What do you want me to say? That I loathed
the money-grabbing son-of-a-bitch?

It's a start.

We were young. We just wanted to play
rock 'n' roll. We weren't businessmen.

Edwin Drood became a fundraiser
for our management and record companies.

Roy, because he wrote the songs,
got sponsorship.

He was the one who cleaned up.

Don't ask me how.
L've spent years trying to forget.

Did you say extra anchovies?
Mike said you did, but I swear you...

What's this? What's going on?

- Look, Tex, I'm really sorry, but...
- Jerry?

Who are these jokers?

There comes a time,
for the greater good of the band...

You've been replaced
is what he's trying to say, guys.

- It happens.
- We were only gone for 20 minutes.

Life moves on.
Can't we all stay cool about this?

You put together another line-up
while we went for a pizza?!

This is unreal!

Jerry, can you handle it?

We needed fresh blood.

And you're gonna get it over these walls!

So, what do you know
about this fianc�e of his?

- Francine Faraday.
- Didn't strike me as Roy's type at all.

More future mother-in-law.

What do you mean by that?

Who did you say you wrote for?

L'm putting a book together with major cases
that the police have got horribly wrong.

My opinion, you're wasting your time
on this one.

Thanks for your help.

Have one of these a day.
She'll soon be up and running.

- Is there somewhere to wash my hands?
- Sure, inside in the kitchen.

Toby? Oh, my God, what's happened?!

He appears to have been suffocated or choked.

You'd better call the police.

There's something in there.

What the hell is it?

...damage. The reason
for such vandalism is still a mystery.

Detectives are investigating a bizarre
"Silence of the Lambs" style murder

at Hog's Belly Farm near Wittlingford,

after the victim was found with a frog
inserted in his windpipe.

Toby Flowers was a member of the American
religious sect, the Creed of Eden,

whose members include the rock star
Roy Pilgrim,

himself in the news relating to
the disappearance of teenager Tracy Cook.

Hi.

It's a pig of a night out here.

Before I became a puppet,
I was a gynaecologist.

L wanted to be a brain surgeon,
but I wasn't tall enoughl

Here's another one.

What is long and thin and sticky?

A stickl

Behold the impecunious rock legend!

As you can see, performing
is still my major source of income.

L've got this reputation for instability,
which I could never get my head round.

Don't want Marty Crow, no way!

They don't want a drummer
who urinates on the audience. Why not?

Personal contact with the public,
very important.

Roy Pilgrim. What type of women
did he go for, would you say?

Let's just say he wouldn't look at you
if he thought you'd had too many.

- Drinks?
- Birthdays.

Closer they were to the legal limit,
the more he liked them.

In those days, there were
plenty around to like, believe me!

That was then.

His taste could have changed.

Right.

The "Hocus Pocus Junior"!

L saw it in this old bookshop.
L thought, "What the hell,

"I'll pop it round. "

You drove 35 miles out of London
to bring it here.

Well, you weren't exactly hard to find.

L mean, if it's no good to you...

It's one of the classic texts on medieval magic.

What do I owe you?

What do you want to give me?

Where is your other half tonight?

L shudder to think.

Whoever she is, she has my sympathy.

Sex for Greg is someone to talk to
while doing push-ups.

If they invented an exercise bike that said,
"That was wonderful!", he'd propose.

Yes, I've never met a man before
whose IQ was the same as his bra size.

It's an interesting combina...

- Help yourself to a sherry, by the way
- Thanks.

L've got a theory.

About those speakers, why someone
would take them out of the room.

Go on, then.

He was hypnotised.

Someone took the speakers away,
rigged them up to play some recording

that made him forget he'd seen the girl
come in through the window.

Right.

Involuntary hypnosis?

Mmm-hmm.

Not quite sure Roy Pilgrim's the sort
to go under without a fight.

And why do all that instead of just dangling
a watch chain in front of his nose?

Because...

they...

...didn't do that at all.

- So what did they do?
- Why have you come here?

Because I'm like you.

L can't resist a puzzle.

- Let me into your mind.
- Sorry?

Lecture me.

All right.

Let's recap.

Last Monday, a 16-year-old girl...

...Tracy Cook,

calls round to visit her hero,
rock star Roy Pilgrim.

Half a dozen schoolboys see her walk in
through the French windows at the back,

into the white room.

That's proven fact. It's beyond dispute.

At the exact same time, four o'clock,

Pilgrim swears he was in the room,
fully conscious, handcuffed to the radiator,

and saw no one come in.

His watch was wrong.

He knew the time
because he'd been listening to the radio.

He says he was awake all afternoon.

The only time he slept was during the night.

So he has to be lying.
Nothing else makes sense.

But what he says makes even less sense.

Why go to the trouble of making up that story?

He could say he wasn't there at all,
or he was still unconscious.

No one could prove otherwise.

No, instead, he says the one thing
that no jury will believe,

that no one came in through the door.
Why? Because it's true.

Both stories can't be true.

It's impossible.

- Is it?
- Yes, it is!

You've been there. You've inspected it.
The police have inspected it.

How can she just have vanished
into the ether?!

Like some... phantom, or...

What's the matter,
you got a frog in your throat?

L'll get it.

Jonathan Creek.

Sorry, I know it's early.

- Did I wake you?
- Er... no, that's fine.

Are you well?

L just wanted to bring you up to date
on yesterday.

My gut reaction now?

He did it.

All this thing about young girls
seems to check out.

Both his erstwhile buddies
said the same thing.

So... I know it looked promising, but...

I've got a feeling we should ditch it.
We're barking up the wrong tree.

Funnily enough, I've just come
to the exact opposite conclusion.

L draw your attention to page 197
of "The Observer's Book of Frogs".

What...?!

- He's done nothing wrong!
- You've got no evidence!

- Roy, trust in the Lord!
- Vindictive fags!

He's done nothing!
You'll go straight to Hell!

And you'll go straight down the nick!
Sergeant, get those lunatics down!

What's happening?

Has he been charged?

He's not in there to warm the seat!
Want to speak to him?

No, I just came to collect one or two things.
Will that still be possible?

The house is all yours.

They've taken him, as we knew they would!

- God help him!
- Without a shred of proof, of course!

- Where do we go from here?
- L think the back gate's a good place.

- Yes, Miss Faraday?
- L was... looking for my hairbrush.

L used to keep...

- What is this? L thought...
- Not quite.

But never fear,
an arrest will be made very shortly.

Though it sticks in the craw to admit
the press had any hand in this,

thanks to our friend here, I'm now
seeing this business in a new light.

- Go on, you're dying to tell them.
- Is she?

You can all stay to listen. L'm off.

You don't tend to hang about,
do you, Francine?

Same as when your husband-to-be
was suspected, off like a bullet.

So wonderful to have faith in one you love!

Please, you think any woman alive would take
his word for it after what happened?

Of course they wouldn't,
and that's what you were banking on...

Mr and Mrs Flowers,
when you engineered this whole affair.

L beg your pardon?!

Not mine to grant, unfortunately.

L don't imagine a judge
will be too lenient, either.

We've stood square behind Roy
from the word go.

Yes... I don't think
believing in someone's innocence

when you framed him
quite counts as loyalty, does it?

Why on earth would we want to frame Roy?

To get rid of the one person
who was a threat to your income.

The logic of shelling out millions of pounds
to people who had sex with trees

was a bit lost on you, wasn't it?

Roy's interest in the Creed was on the wane.

Of course, once you were married... oh, dear.

Serious cash flow problems.

So, she had to be scared off.

Sharpish.

You're saying this was like a trick
to set me up?

Like the best tricks,
it was blindingly simple in theory,

and fantastically elaborate in practice.

But to a bunch of people building an ark
in their back garden, all things were possible.

Staging a break-in and putting him out
were the easy bits.

An hour later, he comes round,

to find he's trapped inside the white room.

HE-E-ELP!

He remains fully conscious all day.

The only thing that comes through the door
is a small red-bellied frog.

At the same time, a teenage girl,
not noted for her frog-like appearance,

is seen entering the door from the outside
by a bunch of boys at the back gate.

There's no way it adds up.

Until you realise the whole thing
was a classic piece of misdirection

which relied on us all making
one, very false, assumption.

That in both version of events,
we were talking about the same door.

A shame you couldn't
have followed that frog, Roy,

as it hopped back outside.

You'd have been impressed by the handiwork
of the drones at Hog's Belly Farm.

God knows how long it took them to come up
with a replica correct to every last detail.

But we can assume months of planning
and preparation when you weren't around.

Sifting through the fan mail
for a suitable candidate.

And forging the letter
that would bring her here.

Tracy Cook was instructed to call
at the back gate at four o'clock

because you knew there would be witnesses
then to watch her going in.

Inside, I don't know,
she's told there's a change of plan.

Roy will meet her at the farm.

She's whisked off out of the front
to be hidden away somewhere.

All this time, Roy's been in what he thinks
is his own room, jotting down songs.

The one thing you couldn't duplicate
were the African speakers.

But you just took them with you.

Finally, it gets dark and Roy nods off.

That's when you pull the second switch,

making sure he won't wake up on the way.

Back he goes into his own room.

Along with the speaker cabinets which
we know ended up the wrong way round.

As compromising set-ups go, it was a gem.

The man's convicted by his own honesty.

While you lot leap about in his defence
to keep the handouts coming.

Well, you got a colourful imagination.

And you've got a colourful frog.

Lots of them, I reckon.

Where's your little book?

Look familiar?

The Anasase River Toad.

Much prized by the Indians of New Mexico,
and many others,

for its narcotic secretions.

The quickest way to get a fix, basically,

is to put it in your mouth and suck.

Being careful not to overdo it,
or you end up like poor old Toby.

That's what joined it all up, I have to say.

If these frogs are being bred
on a commune at Hog's Belly Farm,

how the hell did one appear at these
French windows nearly 15 miles away?

Unless it had gone for a very long walk,
or hitched a lift,

there was only one explanation - it had
never left the farm in the first place.

And, as ludicrous as it sounds,
the window and the room

and Roy Pilgrim...

...had to be there, as well.

Sorry, I think my head may explode.
L can't take this in.

The lads are turning your place over
even as we speak.

You could save time by telling us where she is.

What the hell, let them have fun.

Cor, look at all this!

Make way, get out of there!

Come down the steps.

# Going home tomorrow

# Can't stand your evil ways... #

Can we turn this down a bit?

What were they going to do?
Just keep her locked up there?

Or work on her mind. Couple of years,
bit of brain washing, she'd be one of them.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Anyway, thanks.

Again. L'll talk to Barry about cutting you in
on this book when it's done.

- What for?
- L don't expect your help for nothing.

Fair enough.

You'd take it as well,
you penny-pinching bastard!

Do you know what I make from all this?
Not very much...

compared with some people,
say a prostitute or something!

But I'd rather do what I believe in!
In my opinion,

I think casual sex is a sign of
a shallow personality, but there we are!

Have you been sucking a frog?

L beg your pardon?!

#... without you, baby,
so why don't you leave me alonel #

You'd better hurry
or you won't miss your train.

What sort of gibberish is that?!

Jonathan, stop being clever! For once!

Just go!

L get it. That call you made to Sheena
just before we got in the car.

She said she spent last night at my place
and now you've got the hump.

- Who's got the hump?!
- Because you think we slept together.

Jonathan, whether or not
you and Sheena slept together

is your business and her business.

It's certainly none of my business.

Quite frankly, I have no desire
to even discuss it.

So if I said I'd rather poke needles
down my nails than poke...

It would be a matter
of no consequence to me whatsoever.

In fact, I find that extremely offensive
and highly insulting to my best friend!

Right.

L'll see you around, then.

Yes!

#... turn his back
on his best friend if he put her down

# When a man loves a woman

# He'd spend his very last dime

# Trying to hold on... #

YES!