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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,081 --> 00:00:04,620 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) 2 00:00:13,938 --> 00:00:16,352 ? I am just a poor boy ? 3 00:00:16,420 --> 00:00:18,796 ? Though my story's seldom told ? 4 00:00:18,825 --> 00:00:21,480 ? I have squandered my resistance ? 5 00:00:21,616 --> 00:00:23,888 ? For a pocket full of mumbles ? 6 00:00:23,913 --> 00:00:26,321 ? Such are promises ? 7 00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:29,380 ? All lies and jests ? 8 00:00:29,424 --> 00:00:32,315 ? Still a man hears what he wants to hear ? 9 00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:34,518 ? And disregards the rest ? 10 00:00:34,539 --> 00:00:37,259 - ? Mm, mm, mm ? - ? Mm, mm, mm ? 11 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,673 ? Mm, mm, mm, mm ? 12 00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:43,398 ? Mm, mm, mm ? 13 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,842 ? When I left my home and my family ? 14 00:00:46,886 --> 00:00:49,699 ? I was no more than a boy... ? 15 00:00:50,727 --> 00:00:52,139 (GROANS) 16 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,978 I... I... I'm in the middle of my set. 17 00:00:53,998 --> 00:00:56,316 - If this is a prank... - Shut up. Jamie, get his phone. 18 00:00:56,339 --> 00:00:57,483 Is this real? 19 00:00:57,539 --> 00:00:59,823 I've told you, and I will not tell you again. 20 00:00:59,854 --> 00:01:02,929 W... w... what's this even about? I am an innocent man! 21 00:01:02,957 --> 00:01:05,868 Yeah, well, you can tell Mr K, 'cos he knows what you've done. 22 00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:08,619 O... O... OK, OK, OK. 23 00:01:08,659 --> 00:01:10,261 Cards on the table. 24 00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:13,466 Have I been cutting Mr K's coke with laundry detergent 25 00:01:13,498 --> 00:01:16,742 to give myself a couple of cheeky extra baggies to deal at weddings? 26 00:01:16,782 --> 00:01:17,795 Yes. 27 00:01:17,882 --> 00:01:20,221 Have there been any hospitalisations? 28 00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:22,687 Yes. But, 29 00:01:22,739 --> 00:01:24,490 did most people have a bloody good time? 30 00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:26,046 Abso-bloody-lutely! 31 00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:31,023 This tribute act thing was a really good idea, Fran. 32 00:01:31,082 --> 00:01:32,730 - Perfect cover. - Yeah. 33 00:01:34,904 --> 00:01:36,806 I did have one little note. Um... 34 00:01:37,394 --> 00:01:39,237 I found that the beginning of Mrs Robinson, 35 00:01:39,269 --> 00:01:41,152 the, "Whoa, whoa, whoa," is just a bit off. 36 00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:44,289 - It felt sort of pentatonic. - ? Wh-whoa, wh... ? 37 00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:46,148 ? Whoa, whoa, whoa ? 38 00:01:47,446 --> 00:01:50,099 Look, look, won't you just let me go? 39 00:01:50,135 --> 00:01:51,601 Please. What's the big deal, anyway? 40 00:01:51,619 --> 00:01:54,306 It is cocaine, not Ferrero Rocher... 41 00:01:54,338 --> 00:01:56,514 it's not supposed to taste nice. 42 00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:58,219 No, w... w... w... wait. 43 00:01:58,484 --> 00:01:59,787 Where are you taking me? 44 00:01:59,982 --> 00:02:02,253 We're not gonna kill you here, it'd ruin the vibe. 45 00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,584 - (MUFFLED SCREAMS) - This is a wedding! 46 00:02:04,648 --> 00:02:05,994 We're not savages. 47 00:02:06,399 --> 00:02:08,019 Move, move! 48 00:02:10,259 --> 00:02:12,695 (SNARLS AND BARKS) 49 00:02:13,085 --> 00:02:14,085 In. 50 00:02:14,459 --> 00:02:15,809 I will shoot you. 51 00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:18,015 - Get in! - (BARKS AND SNARLS) 52 00:02:19,102 --> 00:02:20,103 Drama queen! 53 00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,505 Does that thing really have to stay in here? 54 00:02:21,636 --> 00:02:23,590 That thing has a name: that's Elton, thank you very much. 55 00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:25,056 And, yes, he does! 56 00:02:26,327 --> 00:02:28,543 If I left him at home, he'd completely destroy the place. 57 00:02:28,575 --> 00:02:29,945 Ripped through my bathroom door, 58 00:02:29,961 --> 00:02:32,018 it was like something out of a canine Shining! 59 00:02:32,149 --> 00:02:35,084 - God, I've gotta take this off, haven't I? - One smooth move. 60 00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:36,379 Ow! 61 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:48,533 62 00:02:51,669 --> 00:02:52,813 - (WHIMPERS) - (BARKS) 63 00:02:52,924 --> 00:02:54,013 (SCREAMS) 64 00:02:54,056 --> 00:02:55,570 Told you it was a bad idea 65 00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:57,691 bringing that mutt with us from the target's house. 66 00:02:57,714 --> 00:03:00,157 What did you want me to do? Leave him to starve to death? 67 00:03:00,165 --> 00:03:01,185 It's nuts! 68 00:03:01,259 --> 00:03:04,137 - It's wearing a muzzle! - Yes, and I hate that muzzle. 69 00:03:04,139 --> 00:03:06,394 I find it deeply inhumane. 70 00:03:06,564 --> 00:03:10,218 I might have only known Elton for 24 hours, but we're already bonding. 71 00:03:10,472 --> 00:03:12,597 Can't Joao do some dog-sitting? 72 00:03:12,648 --> 00:03:15,659 - At least while we're working. - We've had a row, unfortunately. 73 00:03:15,746 --> 00:03:18,951 I finally got rid of his "uncles", after I found them using my bedroom 74 00:03:18,979 --> 00:03:20,547 to take what can only be described as... 75 00:03:21,342 --> 00:03:22,827 ... "family portraits". 76 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,719 - Anyway, he's gone off in a huff. - Where's he gone? 77 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,094 Don't know. Taken my car, though, which is... 78 00:03:28,219 --> 00:03:29,259 (BARKS) 79 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,774 - ... good. - Oh, mate. 80 00:03:30,798 --> 00:03:32,220 I don't know how you put up with it. 81 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:34,281 Stop being so relentlessly negative, Jamie. 82 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,730 There's always a plus side. 83 00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,496 - (SNARLS) - Well, I mean... 84 00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:39,397 (GROWLS) 85 00:03:40,341 --> 00:03:42,317 Anyway, you don't need to worry about Elton. 86 00:03:42,357 --> 00:03:43,881 He's a gentle soul at heart. 87 00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:45,639 - (BARKS) - (WHIMPERS) 88 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,128 (GROWLS) 89 00:03:47,158 --> 00:03:49,331 - (BARKS) - Oh! Jesus! 90 00:03:50,061 --> 00:03:52,459 Shall I give him a treat or... ? 91 00:03:52,539 --> 00:03:56,157 Use the stick, 'cos otherwise h... h... he will eat your hands off. 92 00:03:56,211 --> 00:03:57,859 (BARKS) 93 00:03:58,033 --> 00:03:59,139 There we go. 94 00:03:59,219 --> 00:04:01,529 Ooh, there's a... there's a good dog. 95 00:04:02,189 --> 00:04:03,619 There's a good doggy. 96 00:04:04,974 --> 00:04:07,640 Is there a part of this process where I won't be very frightened? 97 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,478 You just need to work out what riles him up and what calms him down. 98 00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:13,722 It's easy. For example, if I play this... 99 00:04:13,757 --> 00:04:16,111 - (DIDO: "WHITE FLAG") - Oh, God, that's the wrong one! 100 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,131 It's triggered him! Come on! 101 00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:20,250 - (MOTORHEAD: "ACE OF SPADES") - Oh, that's it. 102 00:04:20,275 --> 00:04:22,078 That's the one that really calms him down. 103 00:04:22,182 --> 00:04:25,019 He'll settle down nicely now. He loves it! 104 00:04:28,809 --> 00:04:30,859 - (WHIMPERS) - (SQUELCHING) 105 00:04:30,939 --> 00:04:33,899 Oh, Fran, the dog's been sick. 106 00:04:33,979 --> 00:04:36,219 This bumpy track must be making him queasy. 107 00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:38,987 Right, I'm gonna have to pull over, I'm gonna have to let him out. 108 00:04:44,532 --> 00:04:47,019 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 109 00:04:47,099 --> 00:04:48,226 (ENGINE STOPS, MUSIC STOPS) 110 00:04:48,227 --> 00:04:49,705 Oh, look, Fran: 111 00:04:49,745 --> 00:04:52,323 the bride and groom have got a little caravan for their wedding night. 112 00:04:52,343 --> 00:04:53,741 Isn't that lovely? 113 00:04:55,953 --> 00:04:57,601 (SNARLS) 114 00:04:57,939 --> 00:04:59,571 Hello. 115 00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:01,959 - Shit! - (BARKS) 116 00:05:04,699 --> 00:05:05,711 OK. 117 00:05:07,563 --> 00:05:08,563 Just... 118 00:05:08,627 --> 00:05:09,882 Oh, God. 119 00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,507 (VOMITS) 120 00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:12,762 (RETCHES) 121 00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:15,649 (MUFFLED PANTING) 122 00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,822 - Sorry? - (MUFFLED SPEECH) 123 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,655 - Argh! - What is it? 124 00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:23,219 I need my medication. 125 00:05:23,318 --> 00:05:26,075 I... i... it's in my inside jacket pocket. Please. 126 00:05:28,459 --> 00:05:29,641 Thank you. 127 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,186 (SIGHS) Right, this is just drugs, isn't it? 128 00:05:34,372 --> 00:05:36,744 Well, drugs, medicine, 129 00:05:36,764 --> 00:05:38,819 it's all basically the same, really, isn't it? 130 00:05:39,179 --> 00:05:41,510 Change one molecule of cocaine, it's Ritalin. 131 00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:44,017 Change one molecule of ketamine and you've got Calpol. 132 00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:45,162 Really? 133 00:05:45,349 --> 00:05:47,180 My cousin took some drugs on his gap year, 134 00:05:47,204 --> 00:05:49,850 and 20 years later, he still thinks he's a baby on a Ferris wheel. 135 00:05:50,624 --> 00:05:51,641 Right. 136 00:05:52,963 --> 00:05:55,419 Look, i... i... if I'm gonna die, 137 00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:57,423 what's the harm in one last line? 138 00:05:58,379 --> 00:06:00,883 Oh, look, come on, just tap some of that white stuff 139 00:06:00,899 --> 00:06:02,118 on the back of your hand, 140 00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:04,120 and Mr Schnoz will do the rest. 141 00:06:04,139 --> 00:06:05,391 (SNIFFS) 142 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:07,579 God. 143 00:06:08,036 --> 00:06:10,105 - Yeah, that's it. - (PANTING) 144 00:06:10,148 --> 00:06:11,448 All right. 145 00:06:11,816 --> 00:06:14,369 - That's nice. Oh, that's nice. - (WHINES) 146 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,624 Oh, see? 147 00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,503 Jamie doesn't know what she's talking about. 148 00:06:17,538 --> 00:06:20,724 - (BARKS) - You're just grumpy 'cos of this horrible muzzle. 149 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:22,859 That's it. A bit more. 150 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,435 Worried you're gonna run out? Come on, come on. That's it. 151 00:06:27,507 --> 00:06:30,955 I don't think we need this Hannibal Lecter thing, we can just... 152 00:06:32,099 --> 00:06:33,259 There you go. 153 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:38,628 Right, time for us to show Auntie Jamie what a good boy you are. 154 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,261 It's all part of the process. It's just... 155 00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:42,704 trust. It's give, it's... take. 156 00:06:42,728 --> 00:06:44,050 - (BARKS) - Fuck! 157 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,485 (BARKING) 158 00:06:50,690 --> 00:06:51,810 Oh! 159 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,328 (YELLS) 160 00:07:00,384 --> 00:07:01,552 (GRUNTS) 161 00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:04,393 - (BARKS) - Fuck! 162 00:07:05,419 --> 00:07:07,108 (BARKS) 163 00:07:08,702 --> 00:07:10,375 (SNARLS) 164 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,093 (BARKS) 165 00:07:15,821 --> 00:07:17,259 (BARKS) 166 00:07:18,175 --> 00:07:19,899 - If... - Yeah? 167 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,013 - If my hernia has popped out again... - Oh, I'm sorry, Grandma. 168 00:07:24,063 --> 00:07:26,748 Yeah? Grandma's strong, though, isn't she? Yeah? 169 00:07:26,848 --> 00:07:29,139 - She's quite strong. - (SNARLS) 170 00:07:30,772 --> 00:07:32,857 Jamie, run! 171 00:07:35,469 --> 00:07:37,019 (BARKS) 172 00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:41,299 (BARKS) 173 00:07:47,299 --> 00:07:48,809 (SNARLS) 174 00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:52,846 Nice... dog. 175 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,339 (BARKS) 176 00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:58,093 - (SNARLS) - (YELLS) 177 00:07:58,182 --> 00:08:00,448 Quick, quick, quick! Get in! Ah! 178 00:08:00,821 --> 00:08:02,825 (SCREAMS) 179 00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:04,873 (BARKS) 180 00:08:04,979 --> 00:08:08,145 - (DOOR SLAMS) - (BARKS) 181 00:08:09,899 --> 00:08:12,831 Oh, my foot's really killing me. 182 00:08:13,065 --> 00:08:14,892 I think it got through to the bone! 183 00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:16,397 (PANTING) 184 00:08:16,655 --> 00:08:19,299 Oh, gonna have to shoot him from here. 185 00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:21,023 (BARKS) 186 00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:28,906 - (BARKS) - Can you come down? 187 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:35,216 I... I... I don't wanna get shot and die, so obviously fucking not! 188 00:08:35,439 --> 00:08:38,139 Fran, my foot's actually kind of throbbing now. 189 00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:39,688 Oh, come off it, mate! 190 00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:41,783 It's not like you can go anywhere! 191 00:08:41,817 --> 00:08:46,027 Yeah, you might as well let us shoot you and then we can all go home. 192 00:08:46,052 --> 00:08:50,606 I have sat through 30 father-of-the-bride speeches this year alone. 193 00:08:51,609 --> 00:08:54,915 I... I'm pretty sure you are gonna get bored and give up before I do. 194 00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:59,056 Also, I am absolutely off my fucking tits! 195 00:09:01,579 --> 00:09:03,459 (BARKS) 196 00:09:03,539 --> 00:09:05,859 (PANTING) 197 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,943 How are we gonna finish this 198 00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:11,053 with your psycho dog in the way? 199 00:09:11,078 --> 00:09:12,492 To be honest, I'm sure he'll... 200 00:09:12,741 --> 00:09:15,119 completely calm down in a minute. 201 00:09:16,419 --> 00:09:17,779 - (BARKS) - Oh, Jesus, God! 202 00:09:17,819 --> 00:09:20,508 - I told you he was crazy. - P... p... put the music on! 203 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,349 - Music. - (DIDO: "WHITE FLAG") 204 00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:25,091 Oh, God, not Dido! He gets triggered by Dido! 205 00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:27,236 We all get triggered by Dido! Just... 206 00:09:27,339 --> 00:09:28,639 - (BARKS) - (VOLUME INCREASES) 207 00:09:28,662 --> 00:09:30,036 Don't make it louder! 208 00:09:30,219 --> 00:09:32,059 (PHONE RINGS) 209 00:09:32,189 --> 00:09:33,912 Shit! It's the boss. Turn if off. 210 00:09:33,968 --> 00:09:35,281 - Turn it off. - (RINGING CONTINUES) 211 00:09:35,289 --> 00:09:36,539 - TURN IT OFF! - (MUSIC STOPS) 212 00:09:37,198 --> 00:09:38,418 Hello, Mr K. 213 00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:39,525 - (BARKS) - Yes. 214 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,095 Uh... Everything's perfectly on track. The hit's almost done. 215 00:09:43,145 --> 00:09:45,636 The barking? Erm... That's... 216 00:09:45,988 --> 00:09:49,965 Jamie watching the semi-finals of Crufts on her iPad. 217 00:09:50,393 --> 00:09:52,459 - (BARKS) - Yeah. Absolutely. 218 00:09:52,539 --> 00:09:56,604 I will absolutely tell her to stop fucking around. 219 00:09:56,619 --> 00:09:57,984 (WHISPERING) What the fuck? 220 00:09:58,193 --> 00:10:00,368 Yeah, we'll give you a call when it's erm... 221 00:10:00,412 --> 00:10:01,739 (THUD!) 222 00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:03,569 (WHISPERING) He's ramming the van! 223 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,044 - Uh... Yeah. - (THUD!) 224 00:10:05,287 --> 00:10:07,087 - Uh... - (WHISPERING) Fran, are we gonna die? 225 00:10:07,099 --> 00:10:09,864 We will get back to you as soon as it's done, OK? 226 00:10:16,628 --> 00:10:17,628 I think he's gone. 227 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,948 (THUD!) 228 00:10:29,988 --> 00:10:34,539 (BARKS) 229 00:10:34,619 --> 00:10:36,019 (PHONE VIBRATES) 230 00:10:36,099 --> 00:10:38,461 Oh, God. Mr K's getting impatient. Oh. 231 00:10:40,019 --> 00:10:42,364 Surely that clown can't stay up there much longer? 232 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,901 (RUSTLING) 233 00:10:44,473 --> 00:10:47,396 - What are you doing? - Trying to find some painkillers. 234 00:10:48,341 --> 00:10:50,478 My foot feels far too big, Fran. 235 00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,460 - What's in there? - Oh, it's the target's. 236 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,506 He'll definitely have something we can take. 237 00:10:54,549 --> 00:10:56,082 Oh, no! 238 00:10:56,126 --> 00:10:58,569 - That stuff is only good for frying your brain. - Yeah, 239 00:10:58,803 --> 00:11:01,186 but... it's all just medicine, though, isn't it? 240 00:11:01,281 --> 00:11:04,395 I mean, change one molecule of Calpol and you get ketamine. 241 00:11:04,534 --> 00:11:06,476 That's categorically not true. 242 00:11:07,577 --> 00:11:08,868 I think you'll find it is. 243 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,571 Look, I think you and I both know 244 00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:16,489 there's only one way we're gonna get this job done 245 00:11:16,517 --> 00:11:18,539 before my foot bursts though my shoe. 246 00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:21,629 I know this is gonna be difficult for you, so... 247 00:11:23,221 --> 00:11:24,524 ... I'll take care of Elton. 248 00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:26,619 No! 249 00:11:26,823 --> 00:11:29,377 Nobody is going to "take care" of Elton! 250 00:11:30,059 --> 00:11:32,078 - Do you think you might have a bit of a problem? - What? 251 00:11:32,205 --> 00:11:35,561 You do seem to get attached to things that aren't very nice to you. 252 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:37,770 Elton. Joao. 253 00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:42,353 No, I... I don't know what you mean. 254 00:11:42,739 --> 00:11:45,352 Look, what Joao and I have works for me, OK? 255 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,009 You might not get it, but it's nice to come home to something stable 256 00:11:48,025 --> 00:11:50,022 at the end of the day, after doing this. 257 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,073 Yes, I don't love him. Yes, he doesn't love me. 258 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:55,449 Yes, we really do not ever want to sleep together. But... 259 00:11:56,084 --> 00:11:57,095 he's dependable. 260 00:11:57,127 --> 00:11:58,883 I thought he'd run off with your car again? 261 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,899 OK, he's... he's not that dependable at the moment, but... 262 00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:04,819 Why am I even justifying myself to you? 263 00:12:05,003 --> 00:12:06,814 You don't even know what commitment is. 264 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,994 Er... That's not even true! 265 00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:11,786 Colin? You started ghosting him for no reason. 266 00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:14,884 - I mean, he's perfect! - Yeah, perfectly boring. 267 00:12:15,539 --> 00:12:18,154 Ugh! He's got really intense and clingy. 268 00:12:18,181 --> 00:12:19,773 See, there's always an excuse with you, isn't there? 269 00:12:20,242 --> 00:12:23,075 I'm not expecting Jeremy Irons or anything, but... 270 00:12:23,145 --> 00:12:25,473 - Jeremy Irons? - Voice of Scar, mate. 271 00:12:25,499 --> 00:12:27,841 Scar is a cartoon lion. Plus, 272 00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:29,604 not even the fittest lion in the film. 273 00:12:29,628 --> 00:12:30,716 - Er... - Ah-ah! 274 00:12:30,741 --> 00:12:32,741 Nala, for sure. (GROWLS) 275 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,508 Mufasa second. 276 00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:37,756 - At a push, I think probably teenage Simba. - Fran. 277 00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:40,333 What? 278 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,522 Where's Elton? 279 00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:45,779 (BIRDS CHIRP) 280 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,339 OK. 281 00:12:50,625 --> 00:12:51,717 All right. 282 00:12:52,699 --> 00:12:55,545 You wait here. I'm gonna finish off this coke-head. 283 00:13:09,048 --> 00:13:10,445 Argh! 284 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,339 (SNARLING) 285 00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:37,108 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 286 00:13:44,859 --> 00:13:46,499 (SNARLS) 287 00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:50,598 No... sudden... 288 00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:53,790 - ... moves. - HE'S BEHIND YOU! 289 00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:54,979 He's behind you. 290 00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:56,139 (BARKS) 291 00:13:56,342 --> 00:13:58,179 No, no, no! This is my area! 292 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,663 Get your own wedding caravan! 293 00:13:59,693 --> 00:14:00,699 (BARKS) 294 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,185 Ow! 295 00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:12,937 Ow! 296 00:14:13,369 --> 00:14:14,799 (CHUCKLES) 297 00:14:15,019 --> 00:14:17,459 How the tables have turned. 298 00:14:18,076 --> 00:14:21,353 Well, they haven't. Now we're both stuck up here. 299 00:14:23,059 --> 00:14:25,261 - Yeah, Jamie, I'm on the roof. - (BARKS) 300 00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,259 This roof. Here. 301 00:14:27,339 --> 00:14:28,339 That's me. Great. 302 00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:31,496 I know it's a bad bite, but you really have to focus, OK? 303 00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,808 - Should I try pissing on my foot? - No. No, no, no, no. Don't do that. 304 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,459 Why not? It really hurts! 305 00:14:36,539 --> 00:14:39,092 Because it's for jellyfish stings, it's not for open wounds, is it? 306 00:14:39,122 --> 00:14:40,998 I had to do that once, actually. 307 00:14:41,222 --> 00:14:44,001 Two Turkish lands in Magaluf. 308 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,687 They were in absolute agony. 309 00:14:46,747 --> 00:14:48,139 Quick as a flash, 310 00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:49,850 smashed a Pepsi Max, 311 00:14:49,914 --> 00:14:52,045 hosed them both down, bosh! 312 00:14:52,079 --> 00:14:54,029 Great. Can you just, please, shut up. 313 00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:55,713 Jamie, you need to get here now. 314 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,972 I don't care how you do it, just get yourself here, all right? 315 00:14:58,990 --> 00:15:01,573 - Ow! - There is plenty more where that came from. 316 00:15:02,025 --> 00:15:04,619 There's precisely one more where that came from. 317 00:15:04,699 --> 00:15:06,849 Listen, focus. 318 00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:08,711 Get yourself here before someone else sees us. 319 00:15:08,721 --> 00:15:10,899 - OK, I'll do my best. - Ow! 320 00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:14,255 (EXHALES) 321 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,659 (PHONE RINGS) 322 00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:20,088 - Oh. - (RINGING CONTINUES) 323 00:15:21,261 --> 00:15:24,388 (BARKS) 324 00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:16,113 (WOMAN ON PHONE) The person you are calling is not available. 325 00:16:16,139 --> 00:16:17,899 Please leave a message after the tone. 326 00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:18,973 - (BEEP!) - (SIGHS) 327 00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:21,551 Look, th... th... this dog is not going anywhere. 328 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,379 - Can't we just make a deal? - Shh! 329 00:16:23,603 --> 00:16:26,944 Joao, hi. It's me. Er... 330 00:16:26,975 --> 00:16:30,578 Listen, I'm not sure if you're coming back home with my car, 331 00:16:30,579 --> 00:16:32,858 but I probably won't make it back, so... 332 00:16:32,982 --> 00:16:35,846 ... I've left some caldo verde in the fridge and I've... 333 00:16:35,886 --> 00:16:38,314 (WHISPERING) ... taped Michael Portillo Behind Bars. 334 00:16:38,404 --> 00:16:40,509 (WHISPERING) I think this week he's in Pentonville. 335 00:16:40,529 --> 00:16:42,862 (WHISPERING) I know it's your favourite. 336 00:16:43,304 --> 00:16:45,819 Oh, I'm rambling. Erm... Ciao, Joao. 337 00:16:46,023 --> 00:16:47,659 (BARKS) 338 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,539 Marriage troubles, is it? 339 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,092 It's none of your business. 340 00:16:51,728 --> 00:16:54,791 Look, I have DJ'd a fuck-tonne of weddings, 341 00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:56,593 - and if you want my advice... - (EXHALES) 342 00:16:56,628 --> 00:16:58,242 - I don't want your advice. - ... it's all bullshit. 343 00:16:58,291 --> 00:17:00,823 Love, relationships, marriages, the lot. 344 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,859 Yeah, well, forgive me if I don't take advice 345 00:17:02,892 --> 00:17:04,848 from a shoeless man in a tree. 346 00:17:04,883 --> 00:17:06,919 This isn't an Austrian folk tale. 347 00:17:07,515 --> 00:17:09,979 (BARKS) 348 00:17:16,419 --> 00:17:17,787 (CHUCKLES) 349 00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:24,339 Yeah. Come on, Jamie, pull yourself together. 350 00:17:24,489 --> 00:17:25,939 It's just medicine. 351 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,210 Ah... 352 00:17:27,225 --> 00:17:28,397 Ooh... 353 00:17:28,419 --> 00:17:30,079 Jamie, psst. 354 00:17:30,939 --> 00:17:32,522 - Jamie. - (GASPS) 355 00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:34,175 What? 356 00:17:34,379 --> 00:17:36,365 Jamie, it's me, Fran. 357 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,100 You're a dog, Fran. What? 358 00:17:39,185 --> 00:17:40,585 Of course I'm a dog! 359 00:17:40,630 --> 00:17:42,499 Let me in and I'll explain everything. 360 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,881 Yeah... 361 00:17:44,452 --> 00:17:45,783 No. 362 00:17:45,882 --> 00:17:48,682 I don't... I don't think that's a good idea. 363 00:17:48,699 --> 00:17:51,611 - You wanna finish the job, don't you? - Yeah. 364 00:17:51,641 --> 00:17:53,949 If you haven't heard from your husband in over a week, 365 00:17:53,979 --> 00:17:57,906 there is a 100% chance that he is off somewhere, 366 00:17:57,935 --> 00:18:01,675 - banging another woman. - Oh, I think there's 0% chance of that, actually. 367 00:18:01,699 --> 00:18:04,093 Well, feel free to bury your head in the sand. 368 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,190 I'm just saying, at the end of the day, 369 00:18:07,274 --> 00:18:09,027 you can't trust anyone else. 370 00:18:09,543 --> 00:18:12,979 Sooner or later, everyone learns... 371 00:18:13,157 --> 00:18:15,014 you are alone in this world 372 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:18,023 and no-one is coming to save you. 373 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:22,208 That's it, Jamie. Start to open the door. 374 00:18:22,422 --> 00:18:23,916 Yeah... 375 00:18:24,659 --> 00:18:26,190 Almost there! 376 00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:28,369 DIE! 377 00:18:29,034 --> 00:18:31,499 - (BARKS) - Fran! 378 00:18:32,105 --> 00:18:33,401 Jamie! 379 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,819 (BARKS) 380 00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:35,939 Fran! 381 00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:37,422 I'm coming. 382 00:18:38,455 --> 00:18:39,699 I'm coming. 383 00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,283 (SPLUTTERS) Jamie, help. 384 00:18:47,339 --> 00:18:48,895 Let's do this. 385 00:18:50,688 --> 00:18:53,419 - (BARKS) - (SCREAMS) 386 00:18:59,819 --> 00:19:01,088 Did you see me, Fran? 387 00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:02,339 (CHUCKLES) 388 00:19:02,419 --> 00:19:04,275 Elton was trying to bring me down, 389 00:19:04,374 --> 00:19:07,408 but my legs were too full of, like, this weird energy. 390 00:19:08,259 --> 00:19:09,899 Oh! Thanks, Jamie. 391 00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:11,019 Oh. 392 00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:14,234 - I can't believe you tried to hang me! - Er... 393 00:19:14,259 --> 00:19:15,788 You tried to kill me! 394 00:19:15,813 --> 00:19:18,246 Yeah, well, that's just my job. It's different. 395 00:19:18,379 --> 00:19:19,659 (PANTING) 396 00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:21,939 Have you got the gun? 397 00:19:22,132 --> 00:19:24,079 - (SIGHS) Oh, shit! - Great. 398 00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:27,504 Oh, I was so busy with the armour, and then the smells were like... 399 00:19:27,539 --> 00:19:30,141 And then, obviously, you were the dog and... 400 00:19:30,374 --> 00:19:31,493 - You're on drugs, aren't you? - Yeah. 401 00:19:31,513 --> 00:19:33,166 - Yeah. - On the plus side, 402 00:19:33,921 --> 00:19:35,097 I feel good! 403 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,202 I feel kind of amazing. 404 00:19:37,227 --> 00:19:39,476 I feel like I could punch a train! 405 00:19:39,798 --> 00:19:43,785 Yeah, although... technically, anyone can punch a train. 406 00:19:44,078 --> 00:19:46,168 You guys aren't very good at this, are you? 407 00:19:46,193 --> 00:19:48,204 Do you know what, I don't normally enjoy my job, 408 00:19:48,219 --> 00:19:51,402 but I have to say, I'm gonna relish blowing your fucking head off! 409 00:19:51,446 --> 00:19:53,273 Look, Fran, it's the bride and groom. 410 00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:54,395 Hang on. 411 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,261 She's pulled the chef! 412 00:19:57,259 --> 00:19:58,699 (SCREAMS) 413 00:19:59,121 --> 00:20:01,345 - Oh, fuck off! - I'm gonna get the gun. 414 00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:03,643 Don't leave me! 415 00:20:03,683 --> 00:20:04,984 Fucking hell! 416 00:20:05,018 --> 00:20:06,196 - Yeah? - Yeah. 417 00:20:06,219 --> 00:20:07,259 Yeah? 418 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,760 What are you gonna do, pinch me to death? 419 00:20:09,964 --> 00:20:12,411 Ah! Ah! 420 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,179 Ah! Ah! 421 00:20:16,259 --> 00:20:17,419 (GROANS) 422 00:20:17,499 --> 00:20:18,579 (GROWLS) 423 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,910 (BARKS) 424 00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:22,419 Oh! 425 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,771 - (WHINES) - (SCREAMS) 426 00:20:25,806 --> 00:20:27,320 - (SPLAT!) - (WHINES) 427 00:20:33,379 --> 00:20:35,001 (PANTING) 428 00:20:37,219 --> 00:20:40,379 Actually, I... I... I think I'm all right. 429 00:20:40,459 --> 00:20:42,765 You just killed my fucking dog. 430 00:20:43,848 --> 00:20:48,848 431 00:20:49,205 --> 00:20:51,121 This target used to work for Mr. K 432 00:20:51,136 --> 00:20:54,149 before she went completely insane. 433 00:20:57,837 --> 00:21:00,850 I have not seen one single sign that she is into it. 434 00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:02,986 - I got us a room. - What? 435 00:21:09,963 --> 00:21:11,785 - I need to borrow your car. I... - What? 436 00:21:11,815 --> 00:21:13,269 No way. I... 437 00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:22,806 ? and my asshole is in tatters. 438 00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:28,375 Shh! 439 00:21:28,425 --> 00:21:32,975 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30828

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