Original subtitles

What'd she say?

Hi, Bruce. How are you?

OK, OK, so you can't read English.

I can't get through to him at all.

Can you call a friend?

Here's a list of your rights in Spanish.

Ma'am, miss, miss, can I help you?

Those are your rights.

¿Comprendes?

No read español.

Look, is Gomez in the building?

I don't know, sarge.

Will you go find him

and get him to talk to this guy?

Yes, miss, can I help you?

Um, detective Parker.

Is he expecting you? Yes.

Your name?

Oh. Eileen McHenry.

Gomez! Gomez?

¿Hablos español, señorita?

Gomez!

No, I'm sorry.

The line's busy.

Will you have a seat?

OK.

Gomez?

14 muggings, 3 rapes,

a knifing on water street,

and 6 assorted burglaries.

Who needs you guys?

This squad room needs us guys.

This squad room is dingy and grimy.

You're screwing up the whole joint.

We won't be able to find anything

till a week after you're gone.

We do a thorough job.

Yeah. We didn't ask to come here.

You think we got nothin' better to do

than smear around here all day?

Yeah, you think this

is an interesting job or something?

It's a boring job.

Everything is apple green.

Ha. You think that's interesting?

The ceiling is apple green,

them stairways is apple green,

ho, ho! Oh, that's some interesting job all right.

Yeah, last month, we were at faneuil hall.

That was an interesting job.

What?

Faneuil hall?

That was the best job we ever had.

Every one of them markets.

You know them markets in there.

Every one of them markets

was a different color.

That was a good job.

Yeah. This is a crappy job.

It's crappy, and it's boring.

Slobs.

How's that?

Nothing.

What department you guys from anyway?

Public works.

Maintenance...

And repair.

Hey! Where's my lawyer?

Another county heard from...

you said he was on his way.

He is on his way. Shut up!

Why don't you guys paint this place

in June instead of November

when all the windows are closed?

What's the matter?

You're stinking up the joint.

That's what's the matter.

It stunk in here even before we got here.

I'll tell you guys one thing,

you'd never make it in the Sistine chapel.

Son of a bitch!

87th squad. Detective Meyer.

Parks commissioner Cooper will be killed

unless I receive $5,000 before noon tomorrow.

More later.

What?

Hi, Willis, what's with our friend?

I stopped for some coffee on my way home.

I'm standing at the counter

waiting to pay my check,

and I feel somebody's hand in my back pocket.

Guess who it is.

Who?

It's Lewis here.

I don't understand you.

Best damn pickpocket in the precinct,

and he chooses a cop for a mark.

So you had your back to me.

So I made a mistake. What do you want?

Oh, man. You made a big mistake.

Hey, it ain't that funny, you know.

I think it's funny. To me, it's funny.

Hi. how are ya?

You don't need this. Copy it from the last one.

So what in hell were you doing

at the back door of that supermarket?

I was...

yeah?

Yeah, what?

What's your answer?

I forgot the question.

Yeah, so did I.

What were you doing at the back of...

miss McHenry. Yes.

Parker will be right with you.

Thank you.

I know, I know. What do you think, Steve?

Hell, I don't know.

He ask for anybody in particular?

No. He just started talking

the minute I told him it was me.

Well, maybe it's a crank.

Could be, but I don't know. I don't know.

I really don't.

Why pick on us?

Well, the first time you don't

pay any attention to these goddamn things,

that's when something happens.

You really worried about it?

Look, I admit it sounds like a crank,

but it scared the hell out of me.

Well...

I'm getting out of here.

I'll call commissioner Cooper as soon as I get home.

Anybody wants me, that's where I'll be.

Good. Who's relieving?

Uh...

kling... Kling and brown.

Yeah, well, have them check with me

as soon as they get in.

I hope it's a crank.

So do I.

What the hell are you supposed to be?

What the hell do you think I'm supposed to be?

I'm supposed to be a bum.

Why?

Because they're setting fire to bums downtown.

I figured I'd dress up like a bum...

anybody want coffee?

No, we don't want any of your coffee.

What the hell are you supposed to be?

A bum, you schmuck.

There's such a thing as carrying

an impersonation too damn far.

Want a cup of coffee?

No, no. I'm not gonna go around with you

in those filthy clothes. Are you kidding?

Did you call your wife?

No, why?

'Cause you haven't called her in over an hour,

and if you don't call her, she doesn't feed ya.

Oh, come on. Uhh.

You're married to a yenta.

Don't remind me.

Mm-hmm.

Those are filthy clothes.

Ho ho ho!

Filthy. They're really...

I've seen dirty clothes. That's it.

Good night, sweetheart.

See you later, Bert.

Yeah, bye.

Look at these prints there.

This woman's got prints like an armadillo.

No wonder she's a pickpocket.

Ever see any prints like that before?

87th squad. Kling here.

You've undoubtedly decided by now

that I'm a crank.

Look at that. Huh.

I am not.

Who is this?

I was quite serious about what I promised.

Parks commissioner Cooper will be killed

unless I receive $5,000 by noon tomorrow.

This is how I want it.

Have you got a pencil?

Mister, why'd you pick on us?

Because you're inept.

What?

Pencil ready?

Uh, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.

I want the money in 5s and 10s.

Need I mention, they must not be marked?

Mister, do you know what extortion is?

I know what it is.

Don't try keeping me on the line.

I plan to hang up long before

you can effect a trace.

Do you know the penalty for extortion, sir?

Well, what does he care? He hung up.

But he'll call back.

If there's one thing I know about kooks

is that they always call back,

and this time we'll be ready for him.

Provided it's a nice long call,

and provided he doesn't go through your mother-in-law.

Why don't we give it the old college try, huh?

Hey, look, we've got some ding-a-ling

who's calling on 3, so put him through the system...

hey, what was it he said we were?

The dude said we were inept.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah, that's what I thought he said.

Thanks for holding this.

Oh! Oh, god. This night work

is just killing my poor back.

Hey, you know what I'll tell you

about some guys like that?

Every time they do this kind of strike...

I saw it outside Detroit in a movie one time.

Who knows what he's doing now.

Hey, you guys. Uh...

Bert, meet Eileen McHenry.

Artie brown, Bert kling.

Hello. Hi.

Just showing her around the place.

My desk right there,

you can use the one right behind it, OK?

Oh, good. Thanks.

Uh, I'll just take off my coat.

Can I hang it here?

May I help you with your coat?

Watch out you don't get paint all over you.

The place is really a mess.

Anyway, Eileen's up here on special assignment.

She's a decoy for my rapist.

The rapist?

Yeah, frankly I was hoping they'd send me

somebody a little bigger than you, but, uh... ahem.

I'm 5'8".

No, no. I mean, you know, huskier.

She's plenty husky, Andy. What the hell?

You're gonna have to be careful,

'cause the guy's no cream puff.

The last woman that he attacked

is still in the hospital with a broken jaw.

Interrogation room. Locker room's down there.

What time do you want me to start?

Oh, who the hell knows? I don't know.

I think maybe you ought to let him see you

around the neighborhood. What do you think?

Yeah, maybe.

OK. There's a cafeteria over on tremont.

Why don't you drop by there about 6:00

and have a bite, and then, uh,

take a stroll for about an hour

before you go to the park, OK?

He'll think I'm a hooker.

No, he won't think that.

Communication's over in that area.

OK, we're all set, Bert.

Are you sure about that?

I'm sure. You ought to see

some of the miserable hookers we got around here.

Oh, well, it was nice to meet...

is he a suspect?

Yeah, he should be.

Lovely.

87th squad. Kling.

The penalty for extortion

is imprisonment not exceeding 15 years.

Any other questions?

Yeah. What do you mean we're inept?

I want $5,000 in 5s and 10s.

I want them put into a metal lunch pail.

I want the pail taken

to the copps hill cemetery

and placed on the footpath...

we didn't expect him

to call back so soon.

You want $5,000 placed in the cemetery, right?

Before noon tomorrow.

There are more than 2 of us,

so don't attempt to arrest

the man who picks up the pail,

or the commissioner will be killed.

If the pail is empty,

the plan to kill the commissioner

will go into effect.

If you have any more questions, ask them now.

You don't really expect us to put $5,000

on a silver platter, do you, really?

No. In a lunch pail.

Yeah.

Uh, is there any way we can reach you?

You'll have to speak louder.

I'm a little hard of hearing.

I said is...

He gone.

Lost him. Damn it.

Yeah, hi, miss... Miss Sullivan?

Were you able to get anything?

Oh, gosh.

That's what I figured, miss Sullivan.

Thank you, anyway.

You're fired.

There he is.

Wake up, bum!

Kids.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

God! Aah!

Ah, jeez. Unh!

This is...

carella!

S-send the...

meat wagon! Uhh!

OK, now, Gomez.

You know what you're supposed to do, right?

Yes, sir, I do.

Knock off the "sir" crap.

Put it on the footpath by the water pump

in copps hill cemetery.

Just put it there and get out, OK?

Yes, sir. Yes, Mike.

Good, good, good, good.

Good.

You know, if it rings, I'll answer it.

But what do you mean they're putting garbage in your car?

Well, every morning,

garbage in the front seat of the car, you know?

You don't mind, do you?

Coffee grounds, potato peels...

moldy fruit,

and it's just such a mess to clean up.

When it gets on the floor, you get your feet in it,

and you walk around, you know, with... slipping...

with it on your heels,

and it's just the worst mess, all chewed up bones...

as though they had a dog or something like that.

And one day, it looked as though

somebody had blown their nose

in old pieces of toilet paper and wet cigarette butts

and things like that,

and it's really disgusting.

You can't find that kind of thing

in your car seat every morning

and live through it.

My stomach turns.

I really threw up several times,

but not in the front seat of the car, you know?

I went inside.

I at least had the decency to do that,

but I thought that maybe if you put a...

somebody walking the beat there,

they might find who was doing it and, you know,

tell 'em to stop.

We'll do what we can.

Well, I wish you would,

because there really isn't a thing that's worth picking up,

you know, on the front seat

that you would want to take into the house

and use the next day.

I make my own lunch when I go to work.

Excuse me.

You want to grab that end, fella, and help us?

Yeah, lend a hand.

What's going on?

We need to get this...

all right. Help 'em, help 'em.

The sooner we get it up,

the sooner we get out of here.

That-a-boy.

All right, all right. Come here.

Let's go to work. Come on!

Let's get something done here.

How are things going down there?

Well, we're freezing our asses off.

Any action yet?

Yeah. Gomez dropped his pail.

And will you ask him why we had to be out here

at 5:00 in the morning when the damn pail

wasn't gonna be delivered until 10:00?

Did you get that?

I heard, I heard.

Look, the lieutenant wanted you out there

before anybody else got out there.

Follow and contain,

those are the orders, OK?

The lieutenant ought to try

bringing his own sweet bippy out here sometimes.

It's cold out this early.

Hold it.

No, nothing.

Just a kid looked the pail over

and left it right where it was.

All right. Stick with it.

What do you got going, a stakeout?

Shut up.

Oh, big deal, stakeout.

You know, we painted the d.A.'S office once.

This isn't such a big deal, you know.

Crazy, crazy.

They was questioning a kid who stabbed his mother

with an ice pick.

That's interesting,

'cause that number matches this number.

Oh, yeah. You already got my number.

What do you want this for?

Yeah, well, this car is parked...

double-parked in front of the precinct.

Right in front of the station.

Yeah, that's where I parked this morning.

What'd you do that for?

Because the lot was full,

and the last time I parked in the lot,

somebody stole my car.

It was very stupid. Take care of it. Get that.

Yeah, what are my rape suspects?

Blood, negative. Semen, negative.

Uh, hold on a minute, please.

That's a lady... Said that there's a guy

pushing a car in front of her apartment,

and he's weaving, like he's drunk.

Can we get him on a drunk driving charge,

you think?

Drunk pushing... Make it a drunk pushing.

OK, you want to send out an apb on a drunk...

hey, come on, come on, come on.

Public drunkenness, are you crazy?

That's not a...

47 times.

With an ice pick...

in the head, in the chest, in the belly.

Uh-huh. Everyplace.

Yeah, he said he done it

to save her from the martians.

There's no such thing as drunk pushing?

No.

Public drunkenness.

We'll get him on public drunkenness.

Public drunk...

we want to send out an apb.

Public drunkenness. 905, uh...

I should've wrote that number down.

Ha. Uh...

905, uh, I think it's 45th.

Send a car around 45th street.

Anywhere along there is fine.

Yeah.

How can that save him from the martians?

Well, maybe martians

don't like ladies with ice pick holes.

Huh?

Oh. Ha ha ha!

Yes, every morning.

Well, who would want to put garbage in your car?

Have you got any enemies?

No. I'm loved and respected everywhere.

Pardon me. Excuse me.

Yeah, OK. Could you hold on?

A lady being molested.

She's on hold. What should I tell her?

Hey there.

Hey, who's there?

We got him. Made contact.

Follow and contain. What the hell was all of that?

Let's see where he takes that lunch pail.

Suppose he's in this thing alone?

The guy on the phone

said there were more than 2 of them.

Mm-hmm. But he could have been lying.

Well, let's find out.

Wonder how he's gonna like what's in that pail.

Surprise.

Hey, this guy might be up there for hours, Bert.

Thank you.

It's gonna be all right.

Come on.

Tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow.

They gotta make some more tests on me...

observations on my head.

I landed on my head.

The dummy landed on his head.

Ha ha ha ha!

They want to find out if I have a concussion.

I don't have a concussion.

See? Don't have a concussion.

What'd you tell the kids?

I've gone away? Where?

Miami beach?

Why Miami beach?

So you could tell 'em I got sun burned?

Ow! Oh!

Ah.

Come here.

You'll never know, baby.

You'll never know.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, that's 6 bits you owe me.

You think his contact is in the pool hall?

Yeah, could be, which means he's already

reported the empty lunch pail.

In that case, I'm certainly glad

I'm not the parks commissioner.

There he is.

Hang tight with him, huh?

This stuff's like mud.

See you later, man.

Sure do work a long day.

Yep, busy fellow... Very, very busy.

He's the kind of dude that meets

lots and lots of people.

Yeah. He could have passed the word

a hundred times.

Right.

You'd better call the lieutenant,

make sure he's got lots of men watching

parks commissioner Cooper, huh?

Yeah.

I'll thrill myself

watching this guy go to sleep.

You're gonna be all right here?

Yeah.

OK, I'll duff off.

Commissioner Cooper, I think I'll have 2 of my men

riding home with you in a second car.

Is that all right? Fine.

Did you see who was sitting in the front pew?

It was really very funny.

No! Aah!

No! No! Are you all right?

Byrnes.

Byrnes, this is commissioner Nelson.

What the hell is this about you knowing

that Cooper was going to be shot?

Well, sir...

we received several threatening telephone calls

from an unidentified man on Monday afternoon, sir...

which calls I personally discussed

with commissioner Cooper on Monday night.

Have you found the location yet?

What location, sir?

The location from which the shot was fired

that killed parks commissioner Cooper.

Sir, St. Pius is not in my precinct.

As I'm sure the commissioner realizes,

a homicide is investigated by the detectives

assigned to the precinct

in which the homicide was committed.

Now, that's the way we do it in this city, sir.

Perhaps they did it differently in Philadelphia

where you came from, sir.

They never killed a parks commissioner

in Philadelphia where I came from, byrnes.

Now, may I suggest

that you get a few of your people

off their asses and over to that area

and find that location, byrnes?

And report back to me.

Yes, sir. As soon as we...

They shot the wrong damn commissioner.

You're getting a little static, huh?

You're getting your ass chewed out, huh?

Why don't you guys go home?

But we ain't finished yet.

We can't leave until we're finished,

and that won't be until Friday.

You know, we don't work

for the police department, you know.

We work for the department of public works.

Maintenance...

And repair.

Yeah, well, you're dripping paint

all over my glasses.

Hey, Meyer!

Hee hee hee hee.

Hey, kling, will you get...

Willis!

Hey, Willis!

Where the hell is everybody?

Anybody, hey!

What are all these lights doing on around here?

What are we, partners with the electric company?

Hey, guys!

Detective McHenry...

of special assignment.

Look out for the wet paint.

Well...

this goddamn place is driving me crazy.

Look, there's a guy bleeding

on the goddamn sidewalk,

and I called in 20 minutes ago for a meat wagon.

So, what are you doing up there, playing pinochle?

Yeah, well, make sure you do it in a hurry.

What do you want, kid?

You the desk sergeant?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm the desk sergeant.

I'm supposed to give you this.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, hold it there a second, kid.

What's the matter?

Hold it right there a second.

Hey, where did you get these?

A guy gave it to me.

What guy?

A guy outside.

Outside where?

Near the train station there,

across the street.

You know the guy?

No. He gave me 5 bucks to bring it over here.

What'd he look like?

A bald-headed guy with a thing in his ear.

A thing in his ear?

What kind of a thing in his ear?

Like he was deaf.

Like a hearing aid?

Yeah, a thing in his ear.

The guy had a thing in his ear.

OK.

You can go home, son.

Chief, you got that note?

I'd like to take a look at it.

Yeah, I got it here someplace.

Well, one good thing.

What's that?

You're the only man in this precinct

who isn't getting his goddamn fingerprints

all over them.

What do you think?

I think he's gonna do it.

He's a maniac.

Does he really expect a deputy mayor to pay him?

Of course he does.

He killed Cooper, didn't he?

He'll shoot scanlon, too,

as soon as he gets the loot.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where does it say shoot?

It says right there...

it doesn't say "shoot scanlon",

it says, "scanlon goes next."

all right, goes. Does that mean

sticks a shiv in his stomach

and cuts him open?

He's gonna be dead, isn't he?

Puts an ice pick in his ears or something?

Please.

Hey...

why don't we call scanlon up

and see if he's got $50,000 lying around

he doesn't need, huh?

Look, I'll call scanlon.

You get over to St. Pius.

Don't like that, huh?

Anything on Mr. lunch pail?

Name on the mailbox

says Anthony la bresca.

Super of the building says

he lives there alone with his mother.

No criminal record.

The lieutenant wants a 24-hour tap on his phone.

And who's he putting on the tap?

Guess who?

Damn. That's what I figured.

Jeez. It's cold out there.

How's it going, Jack?

Oh, that's it, Artie.

You got one phone in the house here,

and we're hooked into it solid.

You'll be able to catch anything going in or going out.

OK.

I'm glad they picked you for this job.

I'm not.

You know, you get some of those klutzes over there.

They don't know how to handle equipment.

They, uh, mess everything up.

Yeah.

Oh, Artie. Yeah.

I meant what I said, Artie.

You're the best man for the job,

and I ain't just saying that 'cause you're a nigger.

Oh, ho, ho. Hold it, cousin.

Let me whip something on.

Let me straighten your act out a little taste.

Now, I don't want too many white folks

to know this, because they get scared, you see,

but the last dude that had the audacity

to call me a nigger, I...

Man. Ha ha. These people, I'm telling ya.

Oh, uh, let's see.

I turn this on and...

Hello?

Concetta.

What'd she say?

She called me.

She didn't call you.

She sure did. What'd she say?

She said you're weird.

She said I'm weird?

Mm-hmm. I'm weird?

That's the first time I ever had a chick

ask me to get down and bark like a dog.

Well, did you?

Yeah, I did.

And?

Her German Shepherd jumped on top of me.

I had to run out of the house.

I couldn't get back in the house.

I had to go home.

My old lady said, "I thought you were

going to be home at 10:00."

I said the game broke up early.

Yeah, right, Lew.

The apartment was rented to a bald-headed guy

with a hearing aid 3 days ago.

Third floor, front, perfect spot to watch the commissioner.

Yeah.

The landlady says he paid cash in advance,

gave his name as sordo.

S-o-r-d-o. No first name, just the initial "I".

Yeah.

All right. Yeah.

Well, I'm checking the phone books right now.

OK.

Who's handling the case where these bums

are getting set on fire?

Carella. He's not here. Why?

Just found one in the doorway.

He'd been laying there since last night sometime.

Is he alive?

Just barely.

Hospital gives him a 60-40 chance.

Yeah, well, I'll tell him.

You'll tell him? Yeah.

Thanks.

How do you spell surveillance?

2 ls.

87th squad. Detective Meyer.

Hi, Sarah. What's the matter?

Oh! God damn... I'm sorry.

Yeah, I forgot all about it.

Look, I'll call him right away.

I'll get back to you. All right.

Steve Levine was just in,

said you got another customer

in the hospital.

Yeah, he told me. Thanks.

You OK? How's your hands?

Screwing up my sex life.

Ha ha ha. Ow.

Hello, abramowitz catering?

Detective Meyer, 87th squad.

Look, you did it again.

The knishes... Dry, crumbled.

Well, how many times? I want credit. I...

look, I'll get right back to you.

Hi, Sadie. How are you?

Good to see ya. Come on in.

I think we can get it over with right now.

We're gonna settle the whole thing

once and for all.

He came back again last night.

I'm not handling that case anymore, my dear.

Detective McHenry handles it now, Sadie.

Who?

Look, Eileen...

I think we got the first big break in your case,

but you're gonna have to handle it alone.

Sadie, this is detective Eileen McHenry.

Her name's Sadie.

Hello, Sadie.

How do you do?

Do you have some information

you'd like to give us?

Yes.

He came back again last night.

Who?

The rape artist.

Oh, well, just a second here.

Do you have a description

you can give me?

He's a tall swarthy man.

Tall... swarthy.

Wears this long black cape.

Cape? Yes.

Over a tuxedo with a white dress shirt

and a black bow tie...

and these black satin dancing slippers,

and he's got buttons on his fly...

5 buttons.

I see.

So he likes to unbutton his fly very slowly,

one button at a time,

and he warns me not to scream,

because he's not gonna hurt me.

All he wants to do is screw me.

Yeah. Screw you.

Ha ha ha ha!

He looks like such a gentleman,

so naturally, I never scream

until he gets the last button unbuttoned.

That's when he takes out his thing.

So, naturally, that's when I scream.

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, Sadie,

I can promise you that we're going to do

everything in our power

to bring this man to justice.

As a matter of fact, we might even

enlist the services of detective carella...

and detective Meyers.

I'm sure that they'd be willing to help.

I'm sure they'd be glad to come by personally...

to see that nothing happens to you.

Isn't that right, boys?

What do you say? Steve?

Smart ass.

Smart...

would you like a cup of coffee?

No, I wouldn't like a cup of coffee.

Why not?

I don't like the coffee they have around here.

Oh, it's not that bad.

It stinks.

Well, we could go out for a cup of coffee

if you like.

Would you move your ass?

OK.

Why do they do it to me?

They're just kidding.

Well, I take this case very seriously.

They know that.

Would you like to go for coffee?

Would you?

Yeah.

I would.

Listen, you want a Jeep?

A Jeep? I don't want a Jeep. What for?

I got a friend.

He gets a hundred people together.

You can get surplus army jeeps for $4.73 each.

I'm not interested.

That's like the portable sand dune.

I don't need any of that shit, really.

It comes in a box,

no, no. You put it together.

You get a brand-new 1943 Jeep.

No, no, no. Never been used.

Yeah, right, right.

What do you want?

Hello, Tony?

Yeah?

Tony la bresca?

Get out of here, you creep. Eating my dinner.

What's up, dom?

Tony, uh, I was wondering

if you could lend me some bread

till I get organized here.

You've never been organized in your life.

Tony... I know.

What do you know?

About the caper.

What caper?

Tony, don't let me say it on the phone, huh?

You never know who's listening these days.

Right on.

What you want, dom?

Come on. Spit it out.

Not on the phone.

Meet me outside Sammy's tonight.

You ever play here before?

Nope.

They call me tiny.

Hello, tiny.

You missed.

Yeah, I missed.

You a hustler?

No.

We break hustler's arms...

and throw them down the stairs.

Just the arms or the whole hustler?

I got no sense of humor.

Neither have I, so buzz off, will ya?

I mean, you're ruining my game, all right?

8 ball in the side.

You missed.

What's that in your belt there?

You work on the docks?

Yeah, I work on the docks.

Excuse me.

You want company?

Now, how do I know you're not a hustler?

Hi, tiny.

Hey, hi, man.

How's it going?

So-so. Far out.

This is Marty rosen here.

Hi, Marty. Nice to meet you.

Same here.

He's Tony la bresca.

Shoots a pretty good game.

Marty here shoots the way

Angelo used to shoot.

You remember Angelo...

the cripple.

Oh, yeah.

Angelo the... Yeah, Angie the creep.

Yeah! Ha ha! Yeah.

Seen Pete around?

Yeah. Over by the windows.

I'll see you guys.

Uh...

who's Pete?

Schroeder.

Friend of Tony's?

Yeah.

See you later, tiny.

Yeah, man.

Hey, tiny, I'm sorry. My wife's gonna kill me.

I gotta split.

Yeah, sure.

It was like playing without you anyway.

Sir, sir. Excuse me a minute, sir.

Get out of here! Get out of here!

Would you mind making just a small contribution

maybe to help me get me back to my family?

Get out of my way!

Damn. Damn it!

Hey, carella, is Meyer in yet?

No, sir. He's not here yet.

Well, send his ass into my office

as soon as he gets in.

Yes, sir.

O... r...

oh, yeah, carella.

Yo.

This guy just shot his own brother.

Nothin', nothin'.

Willis just booked him downstairs.

I think he's halfway to Italy right now on a boat.

Halfway to Italy on a boat.

What the hell makes you think he's Italian?

Because anything ending in "o" is Italian, you dummy.

Shot his own brother, kling.

What about Yamamoto?

Yama...

used a shotgun on him.

The guy had no face left at all.

I don't understand this place.

I just don't understand.

Sordo is Italian.

Sordo, sordo. It's Italian.

Sordo? Sordo, yes.

What makes you think it's Italian?

In Spanish, sordo means deaf.

Deaf?

What, I say something?

El sordo.

2 days we've been spending on a phony name.

And all it means is the goddamn deaf man.

I'm freezing my balls off.

The son of a bitch

didn't have to bawl me out that way.

He was pissed off at you.

He had a right to be pissed off.

You lost your man last night, didn't you?

Well, you think I'm not pissed off?

Listen, I've been a cop for 13 years,

and I've never blown a surveillance

in all that time, god damn it.

Unh!

Your crucifix is crooked.

What? It's crooked.

The crucifix.

Mmm. Heh heh heh.

Is this normal stakeout procedure?

Yeah, it's real normal.

I meant... I meant the sleeping bag.

Yes, that's my idea.

Oh! What's that?

Oh, uh, it's just my gun.

What's that?

That's a...

baby carriage. Well...

just a baby carriage, that's all.

Yeah, but... um...

needs a little oiling. That's all.

Don't you think that...

we all need oiling.

Yeah, but, listen. Ah.

Ahh.

Yeah?

We shouldn't.-

Bert. What?

These are public gardens, Bert.

Yeah. Oh!

We aren't supposed to...

Oh!

It's nothin'. Just a kid.

I wish you'd...

nice, quiet...

Bert.

Come in, Bert.

Oh, what's that?

Kid over there.

He's heading for the pail.

Jesus, not now. Uhh.

He's walking toward Bert.

That's right. He's going toward Bert.

He's not coming here.

Get Bert on the phone.

Here we go. OK.

Get him on. Get him on. Come on.

Bert. Bert.

Get the zipper down.

Well, all right!

Are you there, Bert? Can you hear me?

Get that... where is it? Get the radio.

Oh! Would you wait a minute?

Goddamn thing.

I don't know if it's there.

Whoo!

Did we get him?

Listen to this. Bert.

Where's the gun?

I'll call Meyer.

Wait.

Where is it? Ha! Ho ho!

Shh! Shh! Shh!

What the hell is he doing?

Bert!

Oh, ho ho ho!

Who's in the car?

Charlie.

Charlie! Move in.

Meyer?

Where is it?

He's coming across the bridge.

Suspect moving toward Parker and dog.

Kill.

Kill, Randolph!

Come on, kill, you silly son of a bitch!

Goddamn foot!

Kill, Randolph!

Stop! Police!

Hold it!

Stop!

Stop! Police!

Stop!

Police! Damn it! Stop!

Stop. Police.

OK, what's your name?

Alan parry.

Mmm.

Where do you live, Alan?

Right around the corner.

I know you guys.

I see you guys around all the time.

Don't you know me?

You make him, Bert?

Steve?

I don't know who he is, chief.

So we gotta try the mutt and Jeff routine.

OK, I'm mutt this time.

Oh, no, no. Now, I'm desperate.

I gotta be mutt now.

God damn it. You're always Jeff.

I'm in enough trouble with byrnes.

Please, for me, Steve.

Why do I always have to be the heavy?

One time. Do it for me.

I gotta be mutt. Let me do it.

All right. All right?

Who asked you, Alan?

A bald guy wearing a hearing aid.

Bald guy wearing a hearing aid.

We're tired of screwing around with you now, kid.

Now, what was the guy's name

that you were going to meet?

I don't know his name.

Was it maybe Pete Schroeder?

I'm telling you I don't know.

God damn it! Will you stop lying to us?

All right! Cut it out!

I hate it when they lie.

Cut it out! Come on. Keep it cool.

There are other ways of doing this, OK?

Now, come on, Alan. Sit down here.

Come here. That-a-boy. Come on.

There.

Honest to god. You can talk to me.

The guy gave me 5 bucks to pick up the pail,

and that's all I know.

Right.

Now...

what do you think was in the pail?

Lunch.

Lunch?

Lunch?

Huh? Yeah. Yeah.

Lunch? What do you think?

I'm not some fool!

I'm not gonna tell you again.

Cut that out.

Come on, Alan.

Now, really.

What do you think was really in that pail?

Grass.

I figured I could maybe make a quick buck.

There's guys in this neighborhood

who smoke the kind of stuff

that's in that pail.

But not you, huh, Alan?

I have never smoked a joint in my life.

Is that right?

Open up that lunch pail.

No.

Oh, yeah, kid.

Open up the lunch pail. Now open it up.

No. I don't want to.

Open it up! I don't want to!

Why not, Alan?

Why not, Alan?

'Cause if there's pot in that pail,

I don't know nothin' about it.

You said before...

if I didn't want to answer no questions,

I didn't have to. Right.

OK, I don't want to answer no more questions.

Look, Alan, I think I proved it, right?

You can talk to me.

Go stick it in your hat.

Sorry.

Go on, Alan. Go home. Beat it.

I can go?

Get out of here.

What do you think, Steve?

I figure the deaf man knew that there was nothin'

in the lunch pail all along, chief,

and they figured that we'd nail whoever picked it up.

That's what I think.

What do you think, Bert?

Yeah, I agree with Steve...

in which case he wants to kill scanlon.

I think I'll call the D.A.

and have him put his own men on this damn case.

Lieutenant remembers your name by the work.

Ho ho ho! Hmm.

She doesn't mean to be mean.

She's in love.

Just in love.

Just in love. Ha ha ha ha!

Hey, did you have fun in the sleeping bag?

Just doing my job.

Just doing a little plumbing.

Did you get your pipes cleaned?

A little plumbing? A little plumbing?

♪ Can it be the breeze that fills the trees ♪

♪ With rare and magic perfume? ♪

♪ Oh, no, it isn't the breeze ♪

♪ It's love in bloom ♪

Hey! Go to hell, sisters!

How do you feel about all this, Steve?

About what?

Well, about the guy maybe being deaf.

So what?

I mean because of Claudia...

you know it.

I never really thought about it.

You know, I've been married 12 years to Teddy, and, uh...

I never really think about her being a...

a deaf mute.

I'm sorry, Steve.

I didn't mean to bring up...

no. That's all right.

Forget it.

I just never think about her...

that way.

Yeah, what is it?

Trying to find the deputy mayor's car.

Oh, they already looked it over.

But did they check the clock?

They looked it over from top to bottom.

Yeah, well, I'm supposed to fix the clock.

Oh. There it is over there.

I went all the way over to the municipal garage.

They told me they moved the car over here.

What the hell's going on, anyway?

Don't you read the papers?

For the funnies.

This one?

Electric clock stopped.

Big catastrophe, right?

All right.

Which one of you little mothers

goes to the clock?

Hey, buddy, you mind?

You're making me nervous.

Hey, Schroeder.

Catching up on your reading?

Any trouble getting here?

No.

Sure you weren't followed?

Positive.

Why would anybody want to follow me?

So, what's with dom?

He wants to split it 3 ways.

I don't want to cut him in.

You think I do?

If we don't play ball with him,

he's gonna scream for the cops.

Man, there's big money here.

Look, don't you think I know that?

What are we gonna do with him?

We can kill him.

When are you gonna meet him again?

Tomorrow morning. 11:00.

Where?

Tony?

Where are you gonna meet him?

Oh, oh, um... Copley square

near the church.

What do you want me to tell him?

You tell him that we're...

give me a quarter, will you?

No.

Will you give me a quarter?

No.

Will you give me a quarter?!

Will you guys knock it off?

I can't see the action with all that blabbing.

Oh, you're beautiful.

You're really beautiful.

You get anything?

Huh?

I said, did you get anything?

Yeah, um, 11:00 in the morning,

Copley square.

Oh, what do you think?

Steve?

Steve.

Freak.

Oh, darling, would you keep the notes to my speech?

I can't tell you gentlemen how much I appreciate this.

Part of the job, Mr. scanlon.

It's our pleasure, also.

He means the main thing

is to make sure that nothing happens to you.

D.A.'S orders.

Excuse me, Mr. scanlon.

What time are we due at the synagogue?

Well, I'm due to speak at 9:00,

and I would like to be there by a quarter of.

More than enough time, sir.

OK.

"Rabbi Horowitz and ladies of the Hadassah,

it gives me great pleasure to appear before you tonight..."

are you sticking to the schedule

they announced in the newspapers?

That's right.

It's the same speech

that I gave to the sons of Ireland last month.

Heh heh heh.

You smile, lady.

"The city of Boston definitely needs

all of the assistance that it can get at this time."

aah!

Hey, look.

Yeah.

That's the same car I lost outside the pool hall...

with a blond girl driving it.

How'd she get in the act again?

Well, she's obviously substituting for dom,

probably his girlfriend.

Think she'll know anything?

She must be in on it, don't you think?

Short meeting.

Let's hit her.

Hey, Meyer, look at this.

Your name dom, honey?

Yeah. What's yours?

Get 'em up there.

That's a girl?

What's your full name, dom?

Dominick americo Di fillippi.

Listen, you got the wrong guy.

I'm a musician.

Yeah? What do you play?

The harp.

The harp, huh?

Yeah, blues harp... Harmonica, man.

I play with the rotten onions.

Huh?

The rotten onions. It's a group, man.

What's your connection with Tony la bresca?

He's a friend of mine.

Tell us what about the caper. Caper?

The one with Anthony la bresca...

and that... Come on!

Peter Schroeder is planning.

I don't know. I never heard of any Schroeder.

Well, that sure is a lot of money to forget.

You don't remember that, dom?

Well, that's called compounding.

Compounding?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, what do I get for this compounding

or whatever the hell it is?

5 years.

It ain't worth it.

No, it ain't, dom. Tell us what you know.

They're holding up a liquor store.

A liquor store?

That's the big deal?

Yeah, that's the big deal.

Oh, Jesus.

It's nothin' to do with

the goddamn deaf man at all.

It had nothin' to do with him!

When are they hitting it?

Tonight.

Where?

Ahmad, is that you?

Yeah, buck, it's me.

You get them?

I got 'em.

I got 'em!

Did you have them tested?

Of course I had them tested.

Good. Got the whiskey, too.

Ahmad got the whiskey, sweetie.

I had to go to 3 different places

to get them.

Can Ahmad fix us a drink?

Rochelle wants to know

if you want me to fix us...

I can hear you.

A drink.

Shall I?

Why don't you?

I think I'll have a little more champagne.

Hell. This is the part I can't get.

Plus, I'm bored.

What should I do?

What time is it, buck?

Uh...

it's a little past 4:00.

If I made a reservation at Locke-ober for...

6:00, let's say...

do you think you can get...

dressed in time?

What's Locke-ober?

A very nice restaurant.

Yes, I could be dressed.

Marvelous empty-headed bitch.

I think she's dangerous to have around here.

On the contrary.

She calms the nerves

and relieves the everyday tensions.

She hasn't got the vaguest notion

of what we're up to.

Yeah, well, sometimes

I don't have the vaguest notion

of what we're up to, either.

That's really very simple, buck.

Not to me, it isn't.

To buck, only bombs are simple.

This is the last one.

Look, why don't we call this Jefferson?

After our visit to the mayor's mansion.

Now, here's Henry Jefferson...

our unsuspecting target.

Henry Jefferson, chairman of the board

of Jefferson industries incorporated,

loving husband to Margaret,

loving father to Abigail and Louise.

Personal assets estimated

at close to $42 million.

Now, I don't think he's going to mind parting

with a mere 500,000 of that, do you?

Suppose he calls the fuzz?

Well, if he does,

it will be too late.

And anyway, they still don't know who we are...

and they never will.

But, my friend, they're called fuzz

because their ways are fussy,

and their thinking is fuzzy.

They're inept and inadequate

in an age that demands efficiency.

While mankind has already taken

its first enormous steps on the moon,

the police are still mired in mud,

like the hopeless pigs they are.

OK, OK, come on, let's break it up.

Break it up.

What do you propose to do

about this intolerable situation?

We're working on it. We're working on it.

You got anything for me?

Yeah.

I'm taking Meyer out to dinner,

and then we're going to the liquor store.

I like your friends, Bert.

How would you, sir, like to be set on fire?

He already I already tried that. Tried that.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to frighten you.

Can I walk with you?

Where you going?

You are very beautiful.

Thank you.

You're a beautiful slut...

and I want to touch you.

Please, I... I just want to be your friend.

OK.

See? I won't hurt you.

No. All right.

I won't hurt you. See?

Your purse.

Oh!

Aah!

Hold it...

right there...

unless you want me to end your career.

Buck?

Just a few more adjustments to make.

Everything connected?

Connected and set to go off at 2:00.

Came out rather well, don't you think?

Excellent.

Considering I was working all night

and with a minox.

Now, here's the crucial map.

It's the composite feeder plate,

and it pinpoints the manhole exactly.

The high voltage cables

passing under this manhole

provide the electricity for the whole area substation

in which the mayor's mansion is located.

Here.

The mansion is completely electrified,

except for 2 gas lamps at the main gate.

Speak to me, buck.

All set.

Let's get dressed.

There it is...

the mayor's mansion.

Ahmad, don't slow down.

Turn left at the corner and keep going.

Hi.

I'll tell you one thing.

If I ever need a cop,

remind me never to call one.

Well, so long for now.

See you in a couple of years.

I kind of think you should see me

a little sooner than that. Ha!

Would you mind stepping over here?

What's up, sarge?

Well, would you mind lifting the tarp

up just a little bit, please?

But there's paint in there.

Of course there's paint,

but it wouldn't be paint spilled all over.

Bless my soul.

Now that...

is a no-no.

"Oh," is right. Now...

I tell you, I have no idea...

I mean...

I don't understand.

It certainly is hard to understand,

and it's hard to understand

how you going to stay out of jail.

Happy birthday.

That ain't funny, Harry.

What's this?

It's all right.

I'm sergeant Pierce, emergency service division.

These men are from the electric company.

There's a leak somewhere in the line.

They're trying to locate it.

OK, sarge.

Better check over this equipment.

I don't want any static on it later.

Yeah. Good idea.

You want to open that up for me?

OK?

What's that you're carrying?

It's a volt ohm meter.

Want to open it up for me?

Sure.

OK, you can close it now.

OK to go in?

Sure thing, sarge.

Hold it, fellas.

Sergeant Pierce, emergency service division.

These men are from the electric company,

here to check the power failure.

Yeah? What the hell happened?

A leak somewhere in the line.

Oh?

Where's the breaker box?

Right back here.

You want to show him?

OK, come on.

All right, do what you gotta.

Find it?

No. It must be someplace else.

18 guys in that squad,

and I got to get picked to go on this dumb job.

Will you tell me that?

Why do I have to go along?

For the same reason I had to go along...

because the lieutenant does not like Meyer, Steve.

Right.

He likes me.

No, he doesn't, Meyer.

You always get the dumb jobs.

You know that. What does that say?

I should be working on an extortion case

right now, Meyer... An extortion case.

I shouldn't be going to some dumb liquor store

waiting for two two-bit punks to show up.

Yeah. Why don't you just admit it?

You had us tailing the wrong man, Meyer.

Who?

You, you.

Follow and contain... Those are your orders.

Yes. Going after the wrong man, Meyer.

It was the lieutenant's fault.

Right.

You know why it was the lieutenant's fault?

Because he doesn't like you.

That's right.

He likes me. He likes me.

Wait a minute. I forgot the maps.

Now we'll put our proposition

to Mr. Jefferson.

When suddenly, out of nowhere,

this guy comes bombing out of the gas station.

I know, I know, but how many times

is it the other fella's fault?

Do you realize how many times it's happened

this year alone?

I know, but this time, it really isn't my fault.

I even have a witness.

I'll discuss it with you after dinner.

Hello.

Mr. Jefferson?

Who is this?

The man who killed commissioner cooper

and deputy mayor scanlon.

What? What did you say?

I believe you heard me, sir.

Before morning,

another member of the municipal government

will be killed. You will have...

who is this? What do you want?

Mr. Jefferson,

I would advise you to shut your mouth

and keep it shut from this moment on.

You have until Monday afternoon

to raise $500,000

in small unmarked bills.

We will contact you then

with instructions concerning delivery.

If you fail to accommodate us,

we'll first kill your wife Margaret,

then your daughters Abigail and Louise,

the same way we killed...

this is absurd.

Do you realize who you're talking to?

I'm advising you beforehand

of a murder yet to be committed...

a murder you'll read about in your newspaper

tomorrow morning.

I will not show you the same consideration

if you fail to raise the money,

and we are forced to go after your family.

I'm contacting the police

the minute you get off the line.

Don't bother. You're too late.

Put the money in a small valise, Mr. Jefferson.

You'll hear from us.

Abigail, you know better than to say that.

Orthodontist.

I once read a book...

1,001 ways to get out of the draft.

Done.

I want to stop and buy a case of champagne.

I'm cold.

Yeah. You already told me that 3 times.

Yeah, well, I'm still cold.

Hey.

Hey, look, let's forget the liquor stores, OK?

Come on, we'll try down by the river.

Lots of bums sleep in those empty boats down there.

Yeah, all right.

OK, but only for, like, a half an hour, OK, Jimmy?

Because I'm really cold... really.

Hey.

Hey, you look like you're going to cry.

I'm just cold, that's all.

OK, baby, OK, OK. Come on.

We'll find someone. We'll make a nice warm fire, huh?

Now, remember,

no shooting unless that old fart starts yelling,

you understand?

Right.

Now, we get there just before he closes.

At quarter to 12:00.

Right.

Cut through the alley,

then we go in the back door.

See, that way, we surprise him.

Then we tie him up,

and we throw him behind the counter.

Then we empty the cash register and come back here.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Stick 'em up.

Hey.

What time is it?

5 minutes later than the last time you asked me.

Oh, come on.

11:45. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

You know, there's the smell of fortune

out there in that cash register.

There's $86.20, Steve.

It's got to be the biggest caper of the century.

Better get ready, huh?

Sorry we don't have a sleeping bag for you.

Ha ha ha ha!

Aw, hey, you're really kind of cute, you know, Steve?

You ready?

Ready.

I'll need your help, buck.

I'd like a case of dom perignon.

It's the police!

It's the police!

Who the hell is that?

It's the police, god damn it!

What police? We're the police!

If this is your idea of a joke, carella...

get in there, guys.

Come on! Come on! Stop! Police!

Here! Come here!

Too... too late.

What? What are you talking about?

A bomb.

C-c...

wh...

Jesus, the mayor's mansion.

Murchison, this is kling at the liquor store.

Stop, police!

Bullshit!

Who are we chasing?

I don't know!

God damn it!

Let me in on it!

Goddamn! Meyer!

He's got a bald head and a hearing aid!

Impossible!

Damn it! He's got a bald head and a thing in his ear!

Look.

Drunk as a pig.

Let's take him, baby.

Have a drink, bum!

No!

Hold it!

Stop it!

Waah!

Aah!

Aah!

Nothing, huh?

No, nothing.

Maybe the fire got him.

If the fire didn't get him, the river sure as hell did.

Or the pollution. Yeah.

You know what those 2 kids told me?

What?

They were just trying

to clean up the neighborhood.

Oh, Jesus!

Think they'll find the body, Steve?

If they drag the river, they'll find the body.

Boy, it's really amazing, you know?

What's amazing?

Well, the deaf man, the planting of the bomb

under the mayor's bed,

the way we tied the whole thing up.

We tied it all together. It's amazing we caught him

staked out in the back of a liquor store

getting our ass shot off.

Garbage? What do you mean, garbage?

We're garbage men.

This was based on good, sound police work.

It was.

Sound police work?

I can't wait to see the lieutenant's face

in the morning. Big headlines.

"87th precinct's stunning destruction

of the deaf man."

picture his face when he sees that.

Ha.

Well, the important thing is,

we solved the crime.

Right?

Right.

The world will never know...

never know.

♪ I'll be seeing you ♪

♪ In all the old ♪

♪ Familiar places ♪

♪ That this heart of mine ♪

♪ Embraces ♪

♪ All day through ♪

♪ In ♪

♪ That small cafe ♪

♪ The path ♪

♪ Across the way ♪

♪ The children's carousel ♪

♪ The Chestnut tree ♪

♪ The wishing well ♪

♪ I'll be seeing you ♪

♪ In every lovely ♪

♪ Summer's day ♪

♪ In everything ♪

♪ That's light and gay ♪

♪ I'll always think of you ♪

♪ That way ♪

♪ I'll find you ♪

♪ In the morning sun ♪

♪ And when the night ♪

♪ Is new ♪

♪ I'll be looking ♪

♪ At the moon ♪

♪ But I'll be seeing ♪

♪ You ♪

Captioning made possible by MGM home entertainment

captioned by the national captioning institute... www.Ncicap.Org...