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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:14,847
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,184
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
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♪ Lucky there's a manwho positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Thanks for coming
to our cocktail party, everyone.
12
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,666
We're so glad you could make it.
13
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That's the speech you were working on?
14
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,710
Okay, now let's play a game.
15
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,295
It's called: "Everybody give me an idea
16
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,713
what time you're leaving."
17
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Settle down, Peter.
18
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,300
Hey, is the party
good out there? Can I come out?
19
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,261
No, Brian, you're fine in the kitchen.
20
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,683
Is there food on the floor?
I can clean it up!
21
00:00:55,684 --> 00:00:57,056
- No.
- Oh, come on.
22
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,100
Joe just dropped a cracker.
Joe just dropped a cracker!
23
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,560
Damn it, Brian!
24
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,522
I can't figure out how to open the gate.
25
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,607
Well, since this is
a nice cocktail party,
26
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,401
let's talk about books.
27
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,364
What book is everyone reading?
28
00:01:10,365 --> 00:01:12,071
I only read four books in my life,
29
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,323
and three of them were
about Johnny Bench.
30
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,574
Ah, I can top that.
31
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,493
I ain't ever read a book
in my entire life.
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- Never read a book?
- Peter's never read a book!
33
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Yeah, I heard the first guy.
34
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:25,960
And you said
this was a fancy cocktail party.
35
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,878
Reginald, we're leaving!
36
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,633
Damn it! I shopped at Trader Joe's
37
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for this fancy cocktail party,
and once again,
38
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,073
your ignorance of books has ruined it.
39
00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:38,431
Enough is enough.
40
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,100
I got a junior high book list
here, and starting tomorrow,
41
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,978
you are reading one of these books.
42
00:01:42,979 --> 00:01:46,193
Little Women, Holes, The Giver.
43
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These are all porn categories.
Black Beauty.
44
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,735
Is there anything here
that's not pornography?
45
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,362
1984! Just read 1984.
46
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Fine. Geez. I'll read 1984.
47
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,992
You better, 'cause this was
more embarrassing
48
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than when we played truth or
dare with present-day Madonna.
49
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,873
Ah... truth.
50
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,125
Do I look younger than 90?
51
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,669
Dare.
52
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,258
Ah, the public library.
53
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,886
I'm just gonna put my backpack
down for one second.
54
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,137
And it's gone.
55
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,722
My laptop was in there, no password.
56
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,973
My wallet. Everything.
57
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,391
That person is now me.
58
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My entire life went away.
59
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,604
Hey, how do you find something in here?
60
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,732
It's a lot easier
than finding a man out there.
61
00:02:32,368 --> 00:02:34,153
Yeah. Yeah, maybe wash your hair,
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00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,905
lose the bun, give that a chance.
63
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,656
Anyway, you guys have 1984?
64
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,700
We've got it on CD.
65
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,410
"C-D."
66
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,830
Sounds like my high school report card.
67
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,667
Okay, okay, all right, all right.
68
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,254
Okay, boring book: 1984.
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I am ready for you to be lame
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00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,217
and a book and not something unexpected.
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00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,057
- ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
- This is books?
72
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:07,354
- Books kick ass!
- ♪ Panama, Pana... ♪
73
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,858
Probably reading Orwell.
74
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,222
Kids, where's your father?
75
00:03:17,223 --> 00:03:18,506
He left a note.
76
00:03:18,507 --> 00:03:20,741
"If Van Halen calls,
tell them they rule."
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00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,034
What?
78
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,870
♪ Panama... ♪
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- Did they call?
- Peter, what are you doing?!
80
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:31,530
I did what you wanted. I went
to the library and I got 1984.
81
00:03:31,531 --> 00:03:34,046
What a book!
82
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,216
Peter, I'm not okay with this
new Van Halen phase of yours.
83
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,093
Yeah, Dad, it's crazy.
84
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:43,180
Like JFK deciding to cruise
through Dallas in a rental.
85
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,890
How'd that convertible work out for you?
86
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,560
Yeah, I don't... I don't know.
Good. Okay.
87
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,937
And did you get all your stuff
out of the car?
88
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,189
Kind of.
89
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,607
♪ Panama... ♪
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00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,234
All units, this is Dispatch.
91
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,820
We've got a red station wagon
blasting "Panama"
92
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,989
and being awesome
and partying and being rad.
93
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,450
Not in my town, Dispatch.
94
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:06,162
This is Officer Stickbutt, in pursuit.
95
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,621
♪ Whoo! ♪
96
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,126
Stickbutt, break off pursuit.
97
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,837
"Panama" kicks too much ass
and shreds way too hard.
98
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,422
You'll never catch him.
99
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,424
Negative, Dispatch. Just need to wait
100
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,510
for that "Runnin' a little bit
hot tonight" part.
101
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,846
♪ Yeah, we're runnin'a little bit hot tonight ♪
102
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:27,349
Bingo. Got him now.
103
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,143
♪ I can barely see the road ♪
104
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,436
♪ From the heat coming off of it ♪
105
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,939
What's he doing?!
106
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,109
Suspect is headed
toward Unjumpable Canyon.
107
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,403
- It's totally unjumpable!
- ♪ Ease the seat back... ♪
108
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,948
- Unless...
- Unless what, Stickbutt? Over.
109
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,451
Dear God, he's gonna do it.
110
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,621
He's gonna time his jump for the
greatest harmonized sound drop
111
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,539
in '80s rock history.
112
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,291
You're right. The part that goes...
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♪ Ain't no stoppin' ♪
114
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:58,380
♪ Now...! ♪
115
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,055
- ♪ Panama ♪
- Damn it!
116
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,307
- What? What happened?
- Get off this channel, Joe.
117
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,893
Come on, I want to be an outside cop!
118
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,812
♪ Panama. ♪
119
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,819
♪ Panama. ♪
120
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,738
Damn it, Peter, I'm sick of this!
121
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,074
Take that Van Halen CD back today.
122
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,825
No way. I ain't never returning that CD.
123
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,994
It's too awesome.
124
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,871
I didn't want to play this card,
Peter, but
125
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,498
if you won't listen to me,
126
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,209
listen to the pancake
with slices of banana on it.
127
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,002
Oh, my God.
128
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,837
But you're always smiling.
129
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,673
Note the maple syrup tears.
130
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,677
Don't you think I see
the maple syrup tears, Lois?!
131
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,642
I guess my Van Halen days are over.
132
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,566
No, no, no. Those days are behind me.
133
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,694
I made a promise to a pancake.
134
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,697
♪ On and on ♪
135
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,075
♪ He just keeps on trying ♪
136
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,246
♪ And he smileswhen he feels like crying... ♪
137
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,748
♪ Panama ♪
138
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,417
- ♪ On and on ♪
- ♪ Panama ♪
139
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,419
♪ On and on ♪
140
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,421
♪ Pan... ♪
141
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,424
♪ Ain't nothin' like it,her shiny machine ♪
142
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:27,094
♪ Got the feel for the wheel,keep the movin' parts clean ♪
143
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,846
♪ Hot shoe ♪
144
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,223
- Yeah!
- ♪ Burnin' down the avenue ♪
145
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,601
- ♪ Got an on... ♪
- ♪ On and on... ♪
146
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:38,105
♪ Bedroom, don't you knowshe's coming home with me? ♪
147
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,524
- ♪ You'll lose her in the turn ♪
- Working squirrel.
148
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,911
Hey, in case you need it,
149
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,080
someone left this business card
at the crash site.
150
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,916
Looks like there's a new
squirrel in the insurance game.
151
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,752
I don't care about that, Dr. Hartman.
152
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,504
Just tell me
what's wrong with my husband.
153
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,923
I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin,
but your husband
154
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,800
is in a coma.
155
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,469
Oh, my God!
156
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,929
And to deliver the news
to your teenage children,
157
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,806
I've hired an EDM DJ.
158
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,767
♪ Your father's in a coma ♪
159
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,019
♪ Coma, coma, coma, coma, coma ♪
160
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,771
♪ He's gonna die. ♪
161
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,689
This is awesome!
162
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:24,027
Yeah, I saw this guy playing
at an H&M, and I got his number!
163
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,519
My husband is in a coma?!
164
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,920
I'm afraid so.
165
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,830
I mean, he's not responding
to my advances,
166
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,333
so it's either a coma,
or he's a frigid bitch.
167
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,834
We'll leave you with him now.
168
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,836
But it's very important
that you speak to Peter.
169
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,463
He can hear you.
170
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,965
Talk about the good times,
what he means to you.
171
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,010
Talk and keep talking.
172
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,939
Psh-psh-pshew.
173
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,566
Let's just turn on the TV.
174
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,611
We now return to The Simpsons.
175
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,408
Meme.
176
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,992
Not a meme.
177
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,994
Meme.
178
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,080
Not a meme.
179
00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:21,578
Where am I? Hey, let me out. Let me out!
180
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:28,216
Hello, Peter.
181
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,842
What did I ever do to deserve this?!
182
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:15,012
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
183
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,513
Oh, yeah!
184
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,851
The Godfather insists upon itself.
185
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,228
- It insists upon itself.
- It insists upon itself.
186
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,272
The Godfather insists upon itself.
187
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,357
- It insists upon itself.
- It insists upon itself.
188
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,026
It insists upon itself.
189
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,611
The Godfather insists upon itself.
190
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:31,945
- It insists...
- It insists...
191
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,031
Ah, no! Wait! I agree with all of you!
192
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,158
Upon itself.
193
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,415
Has the jury reached a verdict?
194
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,917
We have, Your Honor.
195
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,919
And how do you find the defendant?
196
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,296
B'caw, or not b'caw?
197
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,633
We find the defendant,
Peter Griffin, b'caw.
198
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,139
Peter Griffin, I hereby sentence you
199
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,976
to an awkward apology dinner
with Joaquin Phoenix.
200
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,067
Well... I'm waiting.
201
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,694
Hey, if, uh, this goes south,
202
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,281
is there a plan for Peter's rakes?
203
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,784
Um... who's gonna get Peter's rakes?
204
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,161
What did I tell you, Mom?
What did I tell you?
205
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,621
Well, I just thought
it would be one less thing
206
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,039
to worry about later.
207
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,542
You came out
of the blocks too soon, Joe.
208
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,545
Oh, Lois, I came as soon as I heard.
209
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:33,298
So... h-have you guys made
any arrangements rake-wise?
210
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,676
Bonnie. Ix-nay on the akes-ray.
211
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,306
Clear!
212
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,601
No, you do stuff up here. Clear!
213
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,019
Clear!
214
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,522
Clear!
215
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:49,898
Clear!
216
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,025
Clear!
217
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,989
No, that's the good sound.
218
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,283
Oh, well, why don't you
just do everything.
219
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,201
I hate this stupid hospital.
220
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,161
Clear!
221
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,886
- What are they all doing here?
- The canal.
222
00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:13,755
- She is finished.
- What canal?
223
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,842
Think, senor.
What is your new favorite song?
224
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,510
- "Panama"?
- Sí.
225
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,928
It is the Panama Canal.
226
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,930
Your President Woodrow Wilson
227
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,516
is giving the dedication right now.
228
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,686
Ah, you reach down between my legs.
229
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,688
Ease the seat back.
230
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,685
Got the feeling. Power steering.
231
00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:34,282
Pistons popping.
232
00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:36,862
Ain't no stopping now, Panama.
233
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,033
And now, senor, you must pee.
234
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,243
- What?
- Pee. You must pee.
235
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,996
Fill the canal.
236
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,291
Well, it's gonna take a minute.
237
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,793
- You see Coco?
- Of course.
238
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,713
- It's good, right?
- It's very good.
239
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,382
Okay, I'm gonna try pulling
my pants all the way down.
240
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,801
Sometimes that helps.
241
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,394
- It wasn't a true story, right?
- What?
242
00:12:02,395 --> 00:12:04,056
- Coco.
- No, it was fiction.
243
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,635
Somebody make it up out of their head.
244
00:12:06,636 --> 00:12:08,060
Aw, that's too bad.
245
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,896
I can't go. Can't we
just fill this up with a hose?
246
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,107
Oh, yeah. Turn on the hose!
247
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,114
Mayor West?
248
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,762
Angela?
249
00:12:22,763 --> 00:12:24,076
My dad?
250
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,358
Quagmire's fat girlfriend
who died in the Clue episode?
251
00:12:27,359 --> 00:12:29,081
What do all these people have in common?
252
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,126
And how do they know
I like being slowly beckoned?
253
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,467
Mrs. Griffin, I have
some good news or some bad news
254
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,796
depending on how you feel
about your husband.
255
00:12:42,797 --> 00:12:44,638
- Do you love your husband?
- Yes.
256
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,431
Mrs. Griffin, I have some bad news.
257
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,642
Your husband is brain-dead.
258
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,062
I'm afraid it's time
for you to... make your choice.
259
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,482
What? A-Are you telling me
I should pull the plug?
260
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,900
I'm afraid so.
261
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,527
Also, you might be getting a call
262
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,278
about the service
you received here today.
263
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,280
Do you feel I've earned all tens?
264
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,616
Oh, God, I-I don't know.
265
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,284
I can't get anything less than a ten,
266
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:07,494
so if there's a problem,
267
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,787
you should tell me about it right now.
268
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,789
I may have to pull the plug
on my husband.
269
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,457
Yeah, I-I can't do anything about that.
270
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:16,003
But really, we-we really,
really, really need the tens.
271
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,547
I-It's two minutes for you.
It's a job or not for me.
272
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,175
Hello?
273
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,677
Six.
274
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,637
Yeah, six across the board.
275
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,223
Ah, nuts.
276
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,853
Senor Griffin, I think it's time
for you to depart.
277
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,939
Thanks, Jose, probably.
Thanks for everything.
278
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,483
Hey, before I go, what's
the boat's Wi-Fi password?
279
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,694
Oh, there's no Wi-Fi on board.
280
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,946
I don't want to go!
281
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,450
I don't want to go!
282
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,619
- Hey.
- Hey.
283
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,539
That's a... that's a plug.
284
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,834
You... You pulled the plug on me?
285
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,507
Peter, it was a very difficult decision.
286
00:13:58,508 --> 00:14:00,464
How could you do that? I'm alive.
287
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,007
I'm here from the mortgage company.
288
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,843
Mr. Griffin, you're three months
late on your payment.
289
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,555
Oh, he died.
290
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,931
Oh, that's too bad.
291
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,517
Mind if I turn on
my cotton candy machine?
292
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,440
Aw, you got me.
293
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,864
Hey, sweetheart. How you feeling?
294
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,784
Terrible! My family tried
to off me in my sleep.
295
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,744
We said we're sorry, all right?
296
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,537
We're sorry we pulled the plug!
297
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,373
- But you know what? It was a relief.
- What?
298
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,043
There! I said it. You know what
it's like being married to you?
299
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,711
Every day wondering
300
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,130
if my husband's gonna die
from something stupid?
301
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,591
Crashing your Petercopter.
Getting eaten at the zoo.
302
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,968
Running into a tunnel
that's not really a tunnel
303
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,386
but just something
the Road Runner painted
304
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,846
on the side of a rock.
305
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,223
Yeah, well, I saw him go through it.
306
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,558
Honestly, I-I'm amazed you haven't died
307
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,770
in some kind of Black Mirror
techno nightmare by now.
308
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,146
Excuse me.
309
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,940
I have to take this phone call from...
310
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:03,361
Me?!
311
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,410
This me took a picture of dog poo.
312
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,579
The thought of losing you
was such a burden.
313
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,582
So when the moment came, I confess.
314
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,751
I-I felt free, and I did it.
315
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,836
I pulled the plug.
316
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,255
And then I instantly regretted it.
317
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,173
And when you woke up, I was overjoyed.
318
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,926
I'm so sorry, and if there's any way
319
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,929
I can make it up to you,
I will. I promise.
320
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,264
We all will.
321
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,932
Damn right
you're gonna make it up to me.
322
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,517
I am gonna be more high-maintenance
323
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,727
than a white woman on vacation.
324
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,188
Excuse me, could I get
dos margaritas, por favor?
325
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,294
Yoo-hoo! Hello? Senor?
326
00:15:43,295 --> 00:15:46,230
Excuse me? Could I get towels?
We need more towels.
327
00:15:46,231 --> 00:15:48,655
Wh-When you get a chance, but right now.
328
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,535
Is someone available
to take 20 to 40 pictures of me?
329
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,956
Family, you know how
you said you're sorry
330
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,125
- and you'll do anything I want?
- Yeah.
331
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,668
Well, this is Timothy Olyphant.
332
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,337
I want you to line up
and give him one compliment
333
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,715
about his Netflix show,
the Santa Clarita Diet.
334
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,967
- Aw, really?
- And it has to sound legit.
335
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302
Like you've actually watched it.
336
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,013
Peter, you ask too much.
337
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,807
Hey, you tried to kill me.
This is the logical consequence.
338
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,976
Uh, Mr. Olyphant,
339
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,978
I think you were awesome in Deadwood.
340
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,646
No, no, that's not what I said.
341
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,815
The comments have to exclusively relate
342
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,483
to the Santa Clarita Diet,
343
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,653
a show which aired
three full seasons on Netflix.
344
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,989
I will take the first compliment
off the table.
345
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,690
I like your hair.
346
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,232
Well, now I have nothing.
347
00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:36,203
- Come on, kids, we're leaving.
- What?
348
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,079
It's over. You'll never forgive us
349
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,498
for killing you at the hospital,
so we're done.
350
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,375
We're leaving town today.
351
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,129
You... You're leaving?
352
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:45,670
You'll never hear from us again.
353
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,380
It'll be like we died.
354
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,174
Come on, kids.
355
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,343
No, don't take the kids.
356
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:55,013
Please. No.
Whatever will I do without them?
357
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,531
Banana pancake, you, too?
358
00:16:57,532 --> 00:16:58,821
You're leaving forever?
359
00:16:58,822 --> 00:17:01,394
I'm actually going to Hedo for Pancakes.
360
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,855
Oh, yeah! The ripping and the tearing.
361
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,190
The ripping and the tearing.
362
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,025
The syrup and the bacon.
363
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,070
The syrup and the...
364
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,368
Well, they're gone.
365
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,370
It's all right. I'll be okay.
366
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,622
And I definitely won't have
any flashbacks
367
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:23,833
of our happy times together
to convince me otherwise.
368
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,212
♪ Painting the walls ♪
369
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,756
♪ Means happy times ♪
370
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,008
Aw, we were so happy.
371
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:35,095
♪ And now we're fighting with paint ♪
372
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:38,265
♪ To show we're having fun ♪
373
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,350
God, I miss those paint fights.
374
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,103
♪ But then the music slows down ♪
375
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,438
♪ 'Cause the shuttle blew up ♪
376
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:49,359
♪ And it really hit home ♪
377
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,778
I don't know why we painted that day.
378
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,071
♪ But then we picked up the pieces ♪
379
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,283
♪ And started painting again ♪
380
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,575
Yay! We overcame!
381
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,786
I got to get my family back.
382
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,747
♪ And who am I? I'm a fly on the wall ♪
383
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:06,126
♪ A fly who's seen it all. ♪
384
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,754
Ah, damn it. Now we got to repaint.
385
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,759
Come on! I got to get to the airport.
386
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,595
Sorry, bub.
You'll be driving there slow.
387
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,015
Unless you got
some kind of up-tempo rock music
388
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,475
that's good for speeding to.
389
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:31,032
Mom? What is it?
390
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:34,279
I-I thought maybe your father
would show up at the last second
391
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,114
and we'd have
one of those airport scenes.
392
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,993
Well, that's a nice movie trope,
Lois, but the post-9/11 reality
393
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,120
is there's no way
a nonticketed civilian can...
394
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,788
♪ Panama... ♪
395
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,123
Lois! Kids!
396
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,624
Dad came.
397
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,209
Brian was wrong again.
398
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,295
He's basically always wrong.
399
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,297
- Peter?
- Guys, please don't go.
400
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,715
I love you.
401
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,009
Oh, Peter,
what made you change your mind?
402
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,802
I just... I've been thinking.
403
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,554
Okay, so you tried to kill me.
404
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,307
But maybe that's what
a family is, you know?
405
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,893
A bunch of people
who try to kill each other.
406
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,853
I don't think that's what a family is.
407
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,188
Eh, it is, kind of.
408
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:11,066
Anyway, you're my family,
and I love you.
409
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:14,258
And if I got to have my plug
pulled by somebody,
410
00:19:14,259 --> 00:19:15,959
I want it to be you.
411
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,823
And you're the only people
whose plug I want to pull.
412
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,825
Will you come back?
413
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,499
Yes, Peter. Yes!
414
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,048
All right, everybody switch.
415
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,926
I got a guy.
416
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,054
But I made the rules, so I went with it.
417
00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:48,561
Well, we all learned
an important lesson:
418
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,939
no one should ever read a book.
419
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,607
Eh, I didn't need a coma to know that.
420
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,193
Oh, my God, you guys.
421
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,405
Another space shuttle exploded.
422
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,367
Well, there's only one thing to do.
423
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,289
Let's paint.
424
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,080
♪ Painting the walls ♪
425
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:11,042
♪ To get through tough times ♪
426
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,919
♪ When shuttles blow up ♪
427
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,463
♪ It's not always an accident ♪
428
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,132
What do you mean, not an accident?
429
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,050
Who is this guy singing?
430
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,095
♪ And who am I? A conspiracy fly ♪
431
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:26,808
♪ Did you know "NASA"means "deceive" in Hebrew? ♪
432
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:27,976
I did not.
433
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,061
♪ The Denver Airport was built ♪
434
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:34,816
♪ By the Illuminati ♪
435
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,818
Peter, shoo that fly out of here.
436
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,820
I will as soon as I find out if he has
437
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,823
a banned-from-the-Apple-Store
podcast I can listen to.
438
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,324
♪ I do ♪
439
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,911
♪ It's FlyOnTheWall. buzz/truth ♪
440
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:50,582
♪ First reconfigure your DNS server ♪
441
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,251
♪ Then download a VPN ♪
442
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:58,756
♪ And get the Tor browser. ♪
443
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,968
It's too much work.
32969
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