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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,879 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,174 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,886 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:14,847 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,184 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,604 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,064 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,690 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,152 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,073 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,578 What's up, fellas? What can I get you guys tonight? 12 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:38,621 - Beer. - Beer. 13 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,039 - Beer. - I'll have just, like, a... 14 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,540 a chicken salad or something. 15 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,341 - What? - Chicken salad. 16 00:00:43,342 --> 00:00:44,641 Or whatever's easiest. 17 00:00:44,642 --> 00:00:46,045 Probably chicken salad. 18 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:50,086 Hey, uh, Jerome, can you give us a minute to discuss this 19 00:00:50,087 --> 00:00:51,509 as a group? 20 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,053 Quagmire, excuse my Wisconsin mouth, but... 21 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,805 Why the heck are you not drinkin', 22 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,556 for cripes' sake? 23 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,226 Are you doing the keto diet so you lose a bunch of weight 24 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,062 and it makes you look like you got a mascot head? 25 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,899 No, I'm on medication, so I can't drink, okay? 26 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,441 And I'm not gonna say what it's for. 27 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,111 I'll-I'll just say the pharmacist whispers it to me. 28 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,154 So you haven't been drinking all week? 29 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,612 What have you been doing? 30 00:01:13,613 --> 00:01:15,241 Just mostly going to bed early. 31 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,617 Like really early. 32 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,411 Like so early you still hear people outside 33 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,787 mowing their lawns. 34 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,248 But it's not that bad... Th-there's plenty of sober stuff 35 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,017 - we can do together. - Ugh, like what? Fly kites? 36 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,628 That's stupid, or is it? I'm in. I have a kite in my car. 37 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,130 What about an escape room? 38 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:32,091 If we can't drink, we might as well lock ourselves in a room 39 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,384 with no windows. 40 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,177 Cleveland, I could kiss you! 41 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,929 My heart says yes, 42 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,683 but my Lord says no. 43 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:47,735 Hello, puzzlers. Welcome to my escape room! 44 00:01:47,736 --> 00:01:49,275 For those of you who've never played before, 45 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:50,609 the game is simple. 46 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,361 You will all be locked in identical rooms 47 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,030 where you will solve a series of puzzles 48 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:56,282 using clues hidden around the room. 49 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,076 First family to escape wins! 50 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,995 Will-will there be fractions? 51 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,099 I was told there would be no fractions. 52 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,980 Well, whoever told you that was half right. 53 00:02:04,981 --> 00:02:06,083 Eh? 54 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,754 Now, I know what some of you are thinking. 55 00:02:07,755 --> 00:02:10,546 Yes, I look like a man who owns domestic rats. 56 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,466 Yes, I do own domestic rats. 57 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,718 Yes, they've eaten a few of my toes. 58 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,678 Yes, the rats are missing. 59 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,139 Yes, this current talk is being videotaped 60 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,142 and will be used as my legal release of responsibility 61 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,978 if aforementioned toe-eating rats were to nibble, 62 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,261 bite or maul any of the present participants' toes. 63 00:02:29,262 --> 00:02:31,317 Yes, it's held up in court before. 64 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,820 Yes, this is the "odd speech" cited in our Yelp reviews. 65 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,365 But most importantly... 66 00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:39,033 have fun...! 67 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,243 You guys want to bet on who finishes first? Huh? 68 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,038 I had a night coffee, so I'm feeling jazzed. 69 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,041 ; Well, I... I don't know if we should be betting. 70 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,418 Our family kind of has an unfair advantage. 71 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,837 I mean, I'm a detective. 72 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,255 - No. - Okay. 73 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,674 So what? Peter's made for these games. 74 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,052 He's got a big fat puzzle-solving brain. 75 00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,429 I mean, look at his head. It's huge! 76 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,974 - Look at it! - Yeah, yeah, look at it. 77 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,185 Hey, Chris, you want an edible? 78 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,895 Meg?! 79 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,185 Yes. 80 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,777 "Welcome, Detectives." 81 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,405 I love this already. 82 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,240 Uh, "A client needs your help. 83 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,909 "His name is in the address book in your desk, 84 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,702 "but you can't find the key. 85 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,372 "Try looking in the last place you left them. 86 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,791 They might be hanging around." 87 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,376 Okay, where do people leave their keys 88 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,002 when they come into a room? 89 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,963 In the coat on the coat rack. 90 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,382 Oh, oh, I know, I know. In the corner of the room, 91 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,217 'cause you threw 'em at a ceiling spider. 92 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,510 Yes! Check there! 93 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,970 We don't need a key. 94 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,722 I'll just yank on the desk drawer until it opens. 95 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,725 Strength over brains! 96 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:03,075 Yes! This fat head is already paying dividends! 97 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,784 Okay. 98 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,795 It was a trap. 99 00:04:08,796 --> 00:04:13,002 Everything on Groupon is just a trick to Get Out black people. 100 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,212 Aah, we're sinking. 101 00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:16,589 All right, the name in the address book 102 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,174 is Anthony Fibonacci. 103 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,802 Phone number: 235-blank-blank-3- 104 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,730 blank-blank-blank-blank. 105 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,097 Those missing numbers are... 106 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,141 Chris, stop picking your elbow scab. 107 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,101 - It'll never heal. - It'll heal. 108 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,853 The missing numbers are what we need 109 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,813 to unlock the keypad on the door. 110 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,982 Okay. Fibonacci... That's Italian. 111 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,443 So maybe if I just start saying Italian stuff, 112 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,945 I'll say the answer. Spaghetti. 113 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,322 Spaghetti. 114 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,948 Mario Kart. 115 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,158 Pizza Hut. 116 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,118 Look at those idiots. Their thought process 117 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,329 always involves food or cultural stereotypes. 118 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,372 Hitting a kid with a wooden spoon. 119 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,957 I mean, the answer is obvious. 120 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,126 I know. Totally. 121 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,128 Oh, oh, you're waiting for me to keep going. 122 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,505 The name is Fibonacci. 123 00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:00,132 Kissing a cross before you get-a on a airplane. 124 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,427 Fibonacci is also a reference to a sequence of numbers 125 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,137 where every number after the first two 126 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,306 is the sum of the two preceding ones. 127 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,309 It's from The Da Vinci Code, and the answer is 2-3-5- 128 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,270 8-1-3-2-1-3-4. 129 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,035 Guys, guys, guys, you're thinking too hard. 130 00:05:15,037 --> 00:05:16,106 The answer is simple. 131 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,317 Fibonacci is the name of a number man 132 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,028 from The Da Vinci Code, which was written by Tom Hanks, 133 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,196 so the number is... 134 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,370 Yes! That is why you bring a dog with you everywhere you go. 135 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,206 Even in Target, 'cause who's gonna tell you you can't? 136 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,541 The dead-eyed employees? 137 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,167 No. No, they won't. 138 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,212 'Cause they're cowards. 139 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,924 - Sir? Sir? - What?! 140 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,010 Nothing, it's stupid. I'm-I'm... I'm sorry. 141 00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:50,224 Hey, Stewie, we really crushed it last night 142 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,433 in that escape room, huh? 143 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,851 Ugh, don't say "crushed" 144 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,520 like you're trying to sell me a Range Rover. 145 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,896 I did well, Brian. 146 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,898 You just copied my answer and took credit. 147 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,191 Whatever, Stewie. I don't know why 148 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,026 I always need your validation. 149 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,445 I should just let you enjoy your superior intellect 150 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,780 while you still have it. 151 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,031 What does that mean? 152 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,702 Oh. Did you think you were the only smart baby in this family? 153 00:06:08,703 --> 00:06:10,912 Chris and Meg were just as smart as you were. 154 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,541 But once a Griffin hits puberty, 155 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,376 they turn into a full-blown bozo. 156 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,667 Bozo the Clown? 157 00:06:18,668 --> 00:06:20,212 Yes, of course. Bozo the Clown. 158 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,463 What other Bozos are there? 159 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,366 I... I don't know, 160 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,593 Bozo the tax accountant? 161 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:28,554 Well, the good news is, since you do a sex advice podcast... 162 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,223 Which I really like, by the way... every time you... 163 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,058 it's a write-off. 164 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,060 - Really? - Oh, yeah. And not just... 165 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,562 also... 166 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,714 and even... 167 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,276 Are you kidding me? 168 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,195 Do I look like I'm kidding? 169 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,071 Whoa, what's this? 170 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,919 This is my new invention: 171 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,339 a gene-altering device, or GAD. 172 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,762 Josh, if I'm feeling informal. 173 00:07:05,763 --> 00:07:07,593 I thought about what you said yesterday 174 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,094 about me growing up stupid. 175 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,180 So I decided to do something about it. 176 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,182 I can't control the DNA I was given, 177 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:16,226 but now I can control the DNA I want to keep. 178 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,603 Stewie, that's crazy. 179 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,937 No, it's not. 180 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,606 Genetic modification is a real thing. 181 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,608 It's going to change the world, 182 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,402 just like James Taylor changed rock and roll. 183 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,112 Hello, Martha's Vineyard. 184 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,698 Are you ready to watch me play guitar on a stool? 185 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,783 Yes. Thank you. 186 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,326 No, thank you. 187 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,372 Now, here's a song that's basically directions to Boston. 188 00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:44,585 All right, I've put in all my desired genetic modifications. 189 00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:46,607 Any last words before I go in? 190 00:07:46,608 --> 00:07:48,467 Yeah, don't you think you're being a little dramatic? 191 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,094 Yes. Thank you. 192 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,304 Stewie, I'm serious. Messing around with your DNA 193 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,348 could have dire consequences. 194 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,350 Haven't you ever seen the movie Splice? 195 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,186 Yeah, no, and take that Citizen Kane tone out of your voice. 196 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,519 It's Splice. 197 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,899 Okay. It's time. 198 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,828 ♪ As we go on ♪ 199 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,163 ♪ We remember ♪ 200 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,457 ♪ All the times we ♪ 201 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,584 - What are you doing? - I'm singing to my old self. 202 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,128 ♪ Had together ♪ 203 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,838 It's a really nice moment I'm making. 204 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,674 ♪ And as our lives change ♪ 205 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,051 - ♪ Come whatever ♪ - Do you want me to leave? 206 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,178 Shut up! I timed it to go off when I... 207 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,136 ♪ We will still be ♪ 208 00:08:35,137 --> 00:08:36,598 ♪ Friends forever. ♪ 209 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,184 Thanks a lot, dick. 210 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,526 Did it work? 211 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,362 Doggy. Big doggy. 212 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,118 Oh, my God. 213 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:59,538 I think taking out that DNA turned you into a regular baby. 214 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,459 Ha! Should've watched Splice, bro. 215 00:09:09,713 --> 00:09:11,383 Doggy. 216 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,718 Big doggy. 217 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,304 That's right. The big doggy. 218 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,597 Good evening, folks. 219 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:17,806 Would you like to hear tonight's specials? 220 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,975 Bah, bah, bah, bah, ooh, bah, bah, bah! 221 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,310 That was loud. 222 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,520 So, what's everyone gonna get? 223 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,397 Hey, Chris, watch. I bet she orders 224 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,025 the eggplant parmesan like it's something fancy. 225 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,068 I'm thinking the eggplant parmesan. 226 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,321 It'll be like we're in Italy! 227 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,615 Ha! Our family should wear uniforms 228 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,992 with "Basic Bitches" across the front. 229 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,786 What's wrong with eggplant parmesan? 230 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,078 Nothing. I was just making a joke. 231 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,497 Stewie and I do it all the time. 232 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,998 Stewie is a baby. 233 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,334 You bad-mouth our family to the baby? 234 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,169 Forget it. Forget I said anything. 235 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,587 Mom! Dad! 236 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,423 Brian's talking crap about you guys to Stewie! 237 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,008 - What? - No, I wasn't. 238 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,428 Yeah, he was. He said we're a bunch of basic bitches. 239 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,222 It's kinda true, yo. 240 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,516 Brian, if I was such a basic bitch, 241 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:03,273 would I be wearing solid black umpire's shoes? 242 00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:04,770 Umpires are cool. 243 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,063 They make the rules. 244 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,858 Water out! 245 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,723 Are umpires not cool? 246 00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:12,110 I'm starting to feel foolish. 247 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,613 Where the hell is my white wine with Sprite in it?! 248 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,199 Hi again. That man over there reading a book by himself 249 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,452 has offered to pay for your meal if you move to a table outside. 250 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,538 You're not the dick in this situation. 251 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,874 You're paying for their meal, so you can't be the dick. 252 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,421 - Cup. - Yeah, cup. Wow. 253 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,423 All right, time to go, everybody. 254 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,967 What? Where are we going? 255 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,177 My cousin's getting married this weekend. 256 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,721 Brian, I need your help with Stewie on the flight. 257 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,215 - Sure, no problem. - The iPad's broken. 258 00:10:42,216 --> 00:10:43,432 (BLEEP) 259 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,062 - Brian face. - Mm-hmm. 260 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,647 - Brian face. - Yup. 261 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,316 - Brian face. - Only a few more now. 262 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,819 Okay. All right. 263 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,071 Got to be getting tired soon. 264 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,031 You see, when young kids act out, 265 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,826 what they're really doing is asking to be heard. 266 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,036 They have very little control in their lives, 267 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,206 so the key, and I mean key... 268 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,916 is to make them an active participant 269 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,334 in these decisions. 270 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,044 And once you do that... 271 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:14,840 you'll see... a big... difference. 272 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,759 Hi. Can I get some of those tiny square napkins? 273 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,679 Yeah, like-like the most you're allowed to give. 274 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,180 Now the bride and groom 275 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:24,676 would like to share a moment of silence 276 00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:27,352 to honor the family members who have passed. 277 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,990 They may not be with us in person, 278 00:11:29,991 --> 00:11:32,483 but they are with us in spirit. 279 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,860 - Poo-poo. - No! 280 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,279 We do not touch poo-poo in this family. 281 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,697 We do not touch poo-poo. 282 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,198 No! Hands up. 283 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,075 That's it. Now there's no bubbles later. 284 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,119 - Yes, bubbles! - No bubbles. 285 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,246 - You lost the bubbles. - Yes, bubbles! 286 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,581 Maybe you can earn them back. 287 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,708 But as far as I'm concerned, you've lost the bubbles. 288 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,544 They're gone. They're probably gone. 289 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,422 Yay, bubbles! 290 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,009 What?! 291 00:12:02,804 --> 00:12:04,848 I think it's time to change you back, Stewie. 292 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,559 As much as I hated being around a condescending baby, 293 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,395 I prefer that to a screaming bag of leaking crap. 294 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,940 Brian face. 295 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,569 All right, how do I use this thing? 296 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,406 These are all just sketches of Stewie 297 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,493 with different Hemsworth haircuts. 298 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:28,580 It's got to be on the computer somewhere. 299 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,207 Here. 300 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,585 "Restore original DNA profile." Yes. 301 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,964 "Would you like to add a Hemsworth haircut?" No. 302 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,507 "Are you sure?" Yes. 303 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,175 "Really?" Yes. 304 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,094 "Would you like to first see a photo 305 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,763 of what you're turning down?" No. 306 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,099 "Too bad." 307 00:12:48,349 --> 00:12:50,477 Just restore DNA. 308 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:57,526 Whoops. "Edit, undo." 309 00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:00,612 Uh-oh. "Edit, redo." 310 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,116 My God, I can't get back to regular Stewie. 311 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,492 What am I gonna do? 312 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,495 I better go rewatch Splice. 313 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,964 This is Peter Griffin's Penis Video. 314 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,383 Take one. 315 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,467 Oh, my God. 316 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,302 What do you think, bud? 317 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:27,207 There's a Q and A with the cast afterwards. 318 00:13:32,726 --> 00:13:34,854 No. 319 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,690 - No. - Stewiechu. 320 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,108 No. 321 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,153 Aw, he's gonna hate me for changing this one. 322 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,582 - Hello? - Stewie? 323 00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:45,741 Brian, is my mouth in my butt? 324 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,160 Yeah, my mouth's in my butt. 325 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,704 - You got to fix this. - I'm trying. 326 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,331 Brian, where's my butt? 327 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,918 No. No. No. 328 00:13:57,792 --> 00:13:59,046 Brian, you did it. 329 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,589 No. Oh, (BLEEP)! 330 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,799 Sorry. (BLEEP) 331 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,391 You can fix this. 332 00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:19,739 You just need a little help. 333 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:21,359 Just like how Sylvester Stallone 334 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,070 needs help getting ready in the morning. 335 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,529 So, what are we thinking this morning? 336 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,531 I don't know. I like big face. 337 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,743 Big, fat face. Goatee with little, tiny eyes. 338 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:31,870 Okay. And what about for your body? 339 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,414 Yeah, you know, veins. All kinds of veins everywhere. 340 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,626 L-Little rivers everywhere. 341 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,968 So, do you think you can help me get him back to normal? 342 00:14:48,969 --> 00:14:50,388 You came to the right guy. 343 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,265 But first I'm gonna need a few things. 344 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,351 - Of course, anything. - Go to the kitchen 345 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,727 and grab eight to ten dish towels. 346 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,396 Tear 'em in half and lay 'em on the floor in my room. 347 00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,898 Then I need two AA batteries. 348 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,526 After that, go to Shake Shack and pick up four burgers. 349 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,111 Doesn't matter which ones. They're all good. 350 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,238 - How is that gonna help? - You'll see! 351 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,948 Finally, I need you to sew 352 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,700 the long plastic tube from the vacuum cleaner 353 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,994 - onto this pair of underwear. - Come on, Chris. 354 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,621 Hey, you came to me, damn it. 355 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,084 I can fix this, but not if you don't trust me. 356 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,753 Chris? It's been three hours. 357 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,089 Any updates? 358 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,426 You don't want to be in here, dude. 359 00:15:37,266 --> 00:15:38,672 Stewie, I need your help. 360 00:15:38,673 --> 00:15:39,938 I know that there's got to be 361 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,409 a part of you inside there that can understand me, 362 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:44,484 and maybe Rupert can help you remember. 363 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,279 Remember Rupert? He's your best friend 364 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,700 with whom you seem to have a very sexual past. 365 00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,708 Yes, it's working. 366 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,127 It's Rupert. Nice Rupert. 367 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,212 Stewie loves Rupert. 368 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,965 What the hell? 369 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,050 Hello? 370 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,635 - Stewie! - Uh, no Stewie. 371 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,179 - Stewie! - No Stewie. 372 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,688 Brian, is Stewie in there? 373 00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:16,641 - Stewie! - No Stewie. Uh... 374 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,477 His preschool teacher said he took home the Flat Stanley 375 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,188 this weekend, and she needs it back. 376 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,148 - Stewie! - Open the door. 377 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,025 Uh, no, no, no. I'll-I'll... I'll find it. 378 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,609 Stewie! 379 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,195 - No Stewie. - Hi, Brian. 380 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,735 I got a trampoline. 381 00:16:29,736 --> 00:16:31,072 - Stewie! - No Stewie. 382 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,657 Fat guys go high. 383 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,911 I don't know how to stop. 384 00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:35,952 Let me in. Where's Stewie? 385 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,329 - Stewie! - No Stewie! 386 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,080 Is this my forever? 387 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,666 Everything is fine. Just nobody come in or look in. 388 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,840 Stewie was right. I am an idiot. 389 00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:46,087 I wish I could go back to before this whole thing happened 390 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,586 and tell him he's right. 391 00:16:47,587 --> 00:16:49,174 Wait, I can go back. 392 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,718 Stewie's time machine. 393 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,638 Oh, there he is. Wish me luck, Flat Stanley. 394 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,726 Or you could just call me Stanley. 395 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,686 Not make fun of my body. 396 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,657 Oh, no. What did you do? 397 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,076 A lot. You can't go in this machine, Stewie. 398 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,870 Removing those parts of your DNA doesn't make you smarter. 399 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,956 It just turns you into a regular baby. 400 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,083 That's impossible. My science is correct. 401 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,044 I know, but I may not have been telling you the truth 402 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,631 about Chris being a smart baby. 403 00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:29,140 But he solved a Rubik's Cube. 404 00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:30,300 I saw the video. 405 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,802 I played it in reverse. 406 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,262 He wasn't solving one. 407 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,847 He was eating one. 408 00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:39,057 You're not gonna grow up to be dumb. 409 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,101 You're gonna grow up to be you. 410 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,853 Who's way smarter than me. 411 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,563 So you're saying that somehow, 412 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:48,568 all my smooshed-together, crappy Griffin DNA 413 00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:50,568 is actually what makes me smart? 414 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,320 Yeah, I think so. 415 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,738 I suppose it's possible. 416 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,514 Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. 417 00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:58,451 - What's that? - By traveling back here, 418 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,161 you've created a new timeline. 419 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,247 For everything to revert back to normal, 420 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,262 you have to drown your past self in the toilet. 421 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,960 Hey, Stewie. 422 00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:14,009 W-W-Wait, wait, wait, no, no, sorry. 423 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,343 - Sorry, I have it backwards. - What? 424 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,304 You're supposed to be drowning your future self. 425 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,139 You came back. You're the new timeline. 426 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,348 Oh, come on! 427 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,809 Hey, I said I'm smart. I'm not perfect. 428 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,480 Do it. Just do it. 429 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,154 Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes. Yes, this is right. 430 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,160 Well, that was fun, 431 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,453 but it didn't fill the whole episode. 432 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,872 So, in the Pixar tradition of killing time, 433 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,832 here's a Family Guy short. 434 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,959 And don't worry, it won't be that creepy one 435 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,046 where the Chinese mother eats her baby. 436 00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:18,740 What? 437 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,744 Aah. 438 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,379 All right. 31874

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