Original subtitles

HELLO DOWN THERE!

CAN YOU STILL HEAR ME?

MR. SHERMAN?

NOW, LISTEN. DON'T GET SCARED.

I THOUGHT YOU GOT EVERYBODY OUT OF THE SHAFT. WHO IS IT?

NONE OF OUR BOYS. THAT CRAZY NEWSPAPER GUY.

I'LL NEVER LET ANOTHER SCREWY PHOTOGRAPHER GO DOWN IN THIS MINE.

WHY DIDN'T HE COME UP THROUGH THE EMERGENCY TUNNEL?

WHY DIDN'T HE? HE WANTS TO GET ANOTHER PICTURE

AND ANOTHER AND ANOTHER.

SO THE SHAFT CRACKS IN, AND THERE HE IS.

YEAH, MR. SHERMAN. THE EMERGENCY CREW'S DOWN NOW.

YOU BETTER GIVE HIM THE LOWDOWN.

YEAH.

NOW, LOOK, DON'T LET GO OF YOURSELF, BUT-

LOOK, YOU'RE IN A TIGHT SPOT.

YEAH, I KNOW, JOE. WELL, DON'T BLAME YOURSELF.

IT'S MY FAULT. I CRASHED THIS LITTLE PARTY.

WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GET A MINISTER OVER HERE?

UH... NO.

NO, I GUESS NOT, JOE.

SAY, WHO WON THE FIGHT LAST NIGHT?

WHAT'S HE WANT, A MINISTER?

THE GUY'S KICKING OFF, HE ASKED ME WHO WON THE FIGHT.

NOW, LOOK, MR. SHERMAN, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT DONE?

ANY LAST REQUESTS?

NO, I GUESS NOT. THANKS.

SAY, WAIT A MINUTE, JOE. THERE IS SOMETHING AT THAT.

COULD YOU GET AN OUTSIDE CALL THROUGH FROM UP THERE?

OH, YOU CAN, HUH? ALL RIGHT.

NOW, THEN, SEE IF LONG DISTANCE CAN GET AHOLD OF MY BOSS-

JUDSON M. BLAIR, GLOBE AMERICAN NEWS PICTURE SYNDICATE.

YEAH. YOU BETTER TRY HIS HOME.

AND, LOOK, JOE, DON'T LET HIM KNOW WHERE I AM, WILL YOU?

OPERATOR, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY CALL.

EMERGENCY. LONG DISTANCE FROM ARDWOOD, PENNSYLVANIA

CALLING MR. JUDSON M. BLAIR.

L.D. EMERGENCY, ARDWOOD, PENNSYLVANIA,

CALLING VIA PITTSBURGH. CUT IN, OPERATOR.

OH, JUST A MOMENT. I'LL SEE IF MR. BLAIR CAN SPEAK TO YOU.

LONG DISTANCE, SIR.

IF THAT'S THE CUBA CALL, I'LL TAKE IT.

NO, SIR. IT'S PENNSYLVANIA-

MR. SHERMAN CALLING COLLECT.

I'LL TALK TO HIM.

WELL, MR. SHERMAN, IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU

TO LET YOUR EMPLOYER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE,

BUT ISN'T PENNSYLVANIA SOME DISTANCE FROM CUBA?!

WHAT BARROOM ARE YOU IN WASTING MY MONEY,

OR AREN'T YOU SOBER ENOUGH TO KNOW?

I AM WORKING, J.M.

I'M, UH, PRACTICALLY UP TO MY NECK IN IT.

OH, YOU'RE WORKING, ARE YOU?

WHY, YOU MONEY-WASTING, UNPRINCIPLED HYENA!

NOW, LISTEN, J.M.

LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, FOR I'VE ONLY GOT A FEW MINUTES,

AND I WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT I REALLY THINK OF YOU.

FOR 8 YEARS, I'VE BEEN YOUR TROUBLESHOOTER.

I'VE YANKED STRINGS AND FIXED THINGS SO YOU GOT YOUR PICTURES,

AND ALL I EVER HEARD FROM YOU WAS A LOT OF WAILS ABOUT EXPENSE ACCOUNTS,

AND I TOOK IT.

WHY, YOU'RE NOT A BIG BUSINESS EXECUTIVE.

YOU'RE A... YOU'RE A LUCKY TUB OF LARD.

AND FOR YEARS, I WANTED TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE SCHNOZ.

I WISH I WERE THERE RIGHT NOW, SHERMAN!

OH, HO HO! I WISH YOU WERE, TOO.

RIGHT NOW!

Man: MR. SHERMAN!

MR. SHERMAN, YOU ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.

RIGHT THIS WAY.

THEY BROKE THROUGH. THEY BROKE THE SHAFT OPEN.

HE'S OK. HE'S SAFE!

SWELL!

WELL, DID YOU GET HIM?

NO, SIR. LONG DISTANCE SAYS

MR. SHERMAN'S NO LONGER AT THAT NUMBER.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU KEEP ON TRYING?

VERY WELL, SIR.

GOOD MORNING, WILTON.

GOOD MORNING, MRS. BLAIR.

GOOD MORNING, JUDSY.

GOOD MORNING.

TAKE CARE OF THESE, WILL YOU?

I'M OVERDRAWN.

WHAT IS THIS?

I JUST TOLD YOU, JUDSY. I'M OVERDRAWN.

WHY SHOULD YOU NEED TWO NEW SEDANS?

ONLY ONE.

IT SAYS TWO HERE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE, DEAR. THE OTHER'S A ROADSTER.

WHAT IS THIS $400 FOR JOE?

OH, THAT'S OK. HE'S A BOOKIE.

DON'T QUESTION IT. I LOST, ALL RIGHT.

$2,000?

WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD SPEND $2,000 FOR A RING?

WHY, I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO GIVE ME A NEW DINNER RING.

I WAS SIMPLY AWFULLY UNHAPPY WITHOUT IT.

YOU WEREN'T AWFULLY UNHAPPY ABOUT IT

WHEN I MARRIED YOU OUT OF MAXIE'S NIGHTCLUB.

JUST BECAUSE JEFF SHERMAN GOT YOU MAD,

YOU NEEDN'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME.

YEAH, BUT 2,000-

YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF RINGS.

ADELE, GIVE ME THAT RING.

WHAT FOR?

SO I CAN RETURN IT.

IT'S GOING BACK THIS MORNING.

COME ON, HAND IT OVER.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

ADELE, GIVE ME THAT RING.

YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.

HOLD OUT YOUR HAND.

I'LL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND.

YOU SIT DOWN THERE AND EAT YOUR FIGS.

THIS IS THE END OF YOUR CHORUS-GIRL SPREE.

I SAID, GIVE ME THAT RING. IT'S GOING BACK!

I'LL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND!

IT'S GOING BACK, OR I'LL KNOW THE REASON WHY!

DON'T TOUCH ME!

STOP THAT SILLY WALKING AROUND!

I DON'T EVEN INTEND TO TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU ACT LIKE THIS.

ADELE, GIVE- COME BACK HERE!

ADELE, COME BACK!

I CAN'T GET MR. SHERMAN, SIR.

THAT RING'S GOING BACK,

EVEN IF I HAVE TO TAKE YOUR HAND WITH IT.

IT'S MINE, AND I'M GOING TO KEEP IT.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. LET GO OF IT!

YOU BIG SILLY, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TAKE IT BACK.

I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU BACK.

LOOK OUT!

I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!

YOU BET YOU WILL!

OBJECTION.

THIS IS QUITE IMMATERIAL.

YES. IT IS, OF COURSE, GENERALLY TRUE

THAT FACTS OCCURRING PRIOR TO THE MARRIAGE

WOULD NOT BE MATERIAL TO THE ISSUES OF THE DIVORCE ACTION,

BUT I'LL ADMIT THE EVIDENCE, FOR WHATEVER IT'S WORTH,

SUBJECT TO A MOTION TO STRIKE LATER.

NOW, MRS. BLAIR,

ISN'T IT A FACT THAT MR. BLAIR PROMISED YOU

AN ALLOWANCE OF AT LEAST $6,000?

I DID NOT! I DIDN'T PROMISE THAT OR ANYTHING ELSE!

MR. BLAIR, THE COURT WARNS YOU ON THESE INTERRUPTIONS.

THE COURT AND COUNSEL WILL CONDUCT THE TRIAL.

YEAH, AND I'LL PAY ALL THE BILLS.

I REMIND YOU THAT IN THIS COURTROOM, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERRUPT,

NOR TO ANTICIPATE UNFAIRNESS OR CLAIM SPECIAL PRIVILEGES,

NO MATTER WHAT YOUR STANDING OR POWERS

AS A BUSINESS EXECUTIVE MAY BE OUTSIDE THIS COURTROOM.

CONTINUE WITH YOUR QUESTIONING, COUNSEL.

THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.

NOW, MRS. BLAIR,

WILL YOU TELL THE COURT IN YOUR OWN WORDS

HOW THIS MAN PROMISED YOU LUXURY ALL THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

IF YOU WOULD CUT YOURSELF OFF

FROM YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR CAREER,

HOW HE NEGLECTED YOU AND MISTREATED YOU,

AND HOW, DESPITE A HUGE INCOME,

HE WAS NIGGARDLY AND MEAN?

IS COUNSEL ASKING A QUESTION OR WRITING A BIOGRAPHY?

THERE'S BEEN NO GROUNDWORK LAID FOR THAT QUESTION.

YES, WE OBJECT, YOUR HONOR. NO GROUNDWORK LAID.

SUSTAINED.

MRS. BLAIR, HOW LONG HAD THIS MAN KNOWN YOU

WHEN HE PERSUADED YOU TO RELINQUISH YOUR CAREER AND MARRY HIM?

3 WEEKS.

WHY, YOUR HONOR, YOU KNOW YOURSELF AS A WO-

WILL THE WITNESS CONFINE HER REMARKS TO ANSWERING COUNSEL?

OH, I'M SORRY, JUDGE, BUT YOU KNOW, HE JUST HOUNDED ME INTO IT.

THERE WERE TWO REALLY NICE YOUNG MEN

I COULD HAVE MARRIED AND BEEN HAPPY WITH.

A WRESTLER AND A RACETRACK TOUT.

MR. BLAIR, ONCE MORE THE COURT WARNS YOU.

YOU'RE INVITING CONTEMPT ACTION.

UH, MRS. BLAIR,

I SHOW YOU THIS LETTER

AND ASK IF IT'S THE SAME-

IT CERTAINLY IS.

IS THIS THE LETTER THE DEFENDANT WROTE TO YOU JUNE 18 LAST?

I JUST SAID IT WAS.

YES. WELL, DID THE DEFENDANT PROMISE THEREIN

THAT IF YOU WOULD MARRY HIM,

HE WOULD DEED YOU HIS COUNTRY ESTATE?

HE MOST CERTAINLY DID PROMISE ME.

EXACTLY. AND NOW WILL YOU PLEASE READ THE LETTER?

"DARLING ADELE BABY,

THIS IS TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOUR CUDDLE BABY MISSES YOU."

THAT'S WHAT HE LIKED ME TO CALL HIM-

CUDDLE BABY.

"I WANT YOU TO PROMISE ME YOU WILL SPEND MORE TIME WITH ME

AND WILL CEASE LETTING YOUR FAMILY INTRUDE."

YOUR HONOR, HE MADE ME STOP SEEING MY ENTIRE FAMILY.

HE DIDN'T LIKE THEM.

HE SAID THEY HAD LOW I.Q.s AND WERE SPONGERS.

THEY WERE, TOO, AND A BUNCH OF DRUNKS BESIDES.

THIS, MR. BLAIR, IS A FINAL WARNING.

THE COURT WILL BE COMPELLED TO TAKE OTHER MEANS IF YOU CAN'T RESTRAIN YOURSELF.

HA HA! CAN YOU IMAGINE LETTING A FOOL WOMAN BE JUDGE?

WERE YOU ADDRESSING THE COURT, MR. BLAIR?

WHO, ME? OH, NO.

JUST A DIRECTION TO ME, YOUR HONOR.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL, J.M.

NOW, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS LINE OF TESTIMONY, COUNSEL?

IF YOUR HONOR PLEASE, IT IS TO SUPPORT OUR JUST CLAIM FOR ALIMONY.

WE PROPOSE TO PROVE THAT THE DEFENDANT PROMISED HIS WIFE

DEFINITE PROPERTY AND MONEYS

TO INDUCE HER TO WED HIM,

AND THAT HE FAILED TO KEEP THESE PROMISES.

MOVE TO STRIKE THIS LINE OF TESTIMONY.

MOTION GRANTED.

THIS IS NOT A BREACH OF CONTRACT ACTION,

AND COUNSEL SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT ONE.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING SENSE FOR A CHANGE.

PLEASE, J.M., PLEASE.

MR. BLAIR, YOU'RE FINED $100 FOR THAT CRUMB OF PRAISE FOR THE COURT'S ACUMEN.

$100? FOR WHAT?

HAVEN'T WE FREE SPEECH IN THIS COUNTRY ANYMORE?

$200, MR. BLAIR, OR 10 DAYS.

WOULD YOU CARE TO DELAY THE TRIAL ANY LONGER?

$200? I WON'T PAY IT. IT'S ILLEGAL!

$300, MR. BLAIR, OR 20 DAYS.

WOULD YOU CARE TO CONTINUE?

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, MR. BLAIR?

THE JUDGE IS MY SISTER.

DECREE OF DIVORCE GRANTED TO ADELE BLAIR.

THE COURT RECOGNIZES THE FACT THAT THE DEFENDANT ACCUSTOMED HIS WIFE

TO A LEVEL OF LIVING IN KEEPING WITH HIS INCOME.

FOR THESE AND OTHER REASONS SET FORTH HEREIN,

THE COURT ORDERS THE PAYMENT BY JUDSON BLAIR

OF $4,000 A MONTH SUPPORT AND MAINTENANCE FOR 5 YEARS...

AT WHICH TIME APPLICATION FOR MODIFICATION WILL BE CONSIDERED.

IN THE EVENT OF THE PLAINTIFF'S REMARRIAGE,

PAYMENTS WILL CEASE.

APPEAL IT, I TELL YOU!

Lawyer: IT WOULD TAKE SEVERAL YEARS BEFORE IT CAME UP,

AND THE APPELLATE COURTS USUALLY SUSTAIN ALIMONY ORDERS.

WELL, TAKE IT UP BEFORE ANOTHER JUDGE HERE, THEN.

ONLY THE JUDGE WHO MAKES THE ORIGINAL ALIMONY ORDER CAN MODIFY IT.

OUR ONLY HOPE WOULD BE HER REMOVAL FROM DEPARTMENT 6.

WELL, DO IT.

SHE'S JUST BEEN REELECTED FOR A 6-YEAR TERM.

I'M AFRAID WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT WITH THE INCOME TAX THE WAY IT IS,

I'VE GOT TO EARN AN EXTRA $18,000 A MONTH TO PAY HER THAT 4?

YES, WE REALIZE THAT.

AND YOUR ADVICE TO ME IS SWALLOW IT AND LIKE IT, EH?

WELL, I WON'T DO IT.

BEFORE I LET THAT BLONDE BURGLAR ROB ME, I'LL-

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

QUIET OUT HERE. HER HONOR'S IN CHAMBERS.

I WISH HER HONOR WERE IN HADES!

YOU TELL THAT FEMALE SOLOMON FOR ME

THAT THERE ARE STILL SOME RIGHTS LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY.

I'LL TELL HER HONOR.

DON'T DO THAT TO ME!

IT WAS THAT BLAIR, YOUR HONOR. HE SAID TO TELL YOU-

THANK YOU, BRANT. I HEARD HIM.

I CAN'T SAY I BLAME HIM, CORNELIA.

AFTER ALL, THE POOR MAN-

NOW, JANEY, DEAR, I'LL DISCUSS ANYTHING

IN THE WORLD WITH YOU EXCEPT A CASE.

WELL, I DON'T SEE WHY YOUR OWN SISTER-

IF I WERE A PERFECT STRANGER-

I'M IN MUCH TOO GOOD A MOOD TO ARGUE WITH YOU TODAY.

I ONLY WISH I WERE GOING AWAY FOR A YEAR INSTEAD OF TWO MONTHS.

OH, BOSH. YOU DON'T LIKE VACATIONS.

YOU'D EAT LAW BRIEFS WITH CREAM

FOR BREAKFAST IF YOU COULD.

IS WALTER COMING UP?

OH, JUDGE, I JUST HAD TO COME IN AND THANK YOU. YOU WERE TERRIFIC.

THE WAY YOU TOLD MY EX WHERE TO GET OFF, WHY, I-

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

THOSE ROSES!

Janey: OH, GET THOSE OUT OF HERE!

SHE'S ALLERGIC TO ROSES.

THEY GIVE HER HAY FEVER.

OH, JUDGE, I'M SO SORRY.

AFTER THE WAY YOU FIXED UP MY ALIMONY-

I DON'T DISCUSS CASES WITH LITIGANTS.

OK, JUDGE. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW-

I SAID I DON'T DISCUSS-

AHCHOO!

CASES.

IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF HERE IN TWO SECONDS,

I'LL REOPEN THE CASE AND FIND YOU IN CONTEMPT.

HUMPH!

WHY, YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN. YOU'RE A HUMAN LAW BOOK.

IF I WERE A JUDGE, I'D ISSUE A WRIT OF CORPUS DELICTUS OR SOMETHING

AND PUT HER RIGHT WHERE SHE BELONGS.

CORPUS DELICTUS, DARLING, REFERS TO A BODY WHICH IS DEAD.

IN HER CASE, I THINK THE DESCRIPTION IS INACCURATE.

Woman: OH, MR. BLAIR?

DETROIT AND MIAMI PAPERS BOTH CALLED AGAIN.

HERE'S ALL WE HAVE.

YOU CALL THESE NEWS PICTURES?

WHEN YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MINE TROUBLE,

WHY DIDN'T YOU SEND SOMEBODY DOWN THERE?

YOU MIGHT HAVE KNOWN THEY'D HAVE A CAVE-IN.

NOBODY ELSE HAD-

OH, ALIBIS. DON'T AGGRAVATE ME WITH EXCUSES.

CUT EVERYBODY 10%.

OVERHEAD HAS GOT TO COME DOWN TO MEET NEW EXPENSES.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE NEW EXPENSES COULD BE?

SHERMAN, THIS ORGANIZATION'S HAD ABOUT AS MUCH AS IT CAN TOLERATE OF YOUR DISRESPECT.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

HIYA, THELMA.

TAKEN OFF A LITTLE AROUND THE HIPS THERE, HAVEN'T YOU?

LISTEN, GARGANTUA, YOU'D BETTER CUT OUT THE WISECRACKS.

J.M.'S PLENTY SORE THIS TIME, AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ANYBODY.

WELL, THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.

HELLO, J.M.

GET OUT OF HERE, YOU HIGHBINDER.

GLADLY, JUST AS SOON AS YOU PAY ME.

AND NOT THAT YOU STILL DON'T NEED ME.

I NEED YOU LIKE I NEED TYPHOID MARY.

NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, YOU WOULD MAKE RATHER A NICE COUPLE AT THAT.

YES?

Thelma: MRS. BLAIR CALLING ON EXTENSION ONE.

I CAN'T TALK TO ANYBODY. I'M IN A CONFERENCE.

AND, THELMA, GET ME JUDGE GRAHAM,

THE PRESIDING JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT.

TELL HIM IT'S IMPORTANT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PAY YOU?

I FIRED YOU!

YEAH, BUT YOU STILL OWE ME AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT.

IT'S NOT BAD THIS TIME.

WHY SO UNHAPPY?

OH, IF YOU'D BEEN THROUGH ALL I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH,

YOU WOULDN'T ASK SO MANY FOOL QUESTIONS.

AND YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF IT-

THE CAUSE OF ALL MY MISERY.

ME, J.M.?

WELL, IT WASN'T YOUR AUNT ELSIE THAT DRAGGED ME

INTO THAT NIGHTCLUB AND INTRODUCED ME TO ADELE.

IT WASN'T YOUR AUNT ELSIE, EITHER, THAT KEPT TELLING ME

WHAT A SWEET, LOVELY, WHOLESOME GIRL SHE WAS.

NO. I'LL ADMIT THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN INSOLENT, GOUGING...

AND AS UNSCRUPULOUS AS-

AS YOU ARE, ONLY IN A SMALLER WAY.

WHY TAKE IT OUT ON ME BECAUSE YOU GOT STUNG IN COURT?

WELL, I HATE TO BE MADE A SUCKER OF.

WELL, NOW, LET'S SEE.

4,000 A MONTH- THAT'S 48,000 A YEAR.

48,000 A YEAR FOR 5 YEARS...

240,000 IS THE GRAND TOTAL, J.M.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE THAT WOMAN.

NOW, YOU WERE MARRIED TO ADELE FOR 3 MONTHS.

THAT'S 90 DAYS, SO 90 AT 240,000...

OH, WELL, THAT FIGURES OUT TO 2,667 BUCKS A DAY.

AND FINING ME $300 BESIDES.

IT'S NO BARGAIN, AND IT MIGHT GO ON AFTER 5 YEARS AT THAT.

YOU DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT, DO YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, COMMIT SUICIDE?

NO, I'M NOT GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

YES?

Thelma: I HAVE JUDGE GRAHAM.

OH, PUT HIM ON. PUT HIM ON.

WATCH ME PUT THE FIX ON THIS.

HELLO?

JUDGE GRAHAM?

I WAS GOING TO ASK A LITTLE FAVOR OF YOU AS PRESIDING JUDGE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, MR. BLAIR?

TRANSFER JUDGE PORTER?!

OH, JUST FOR A SHORT TIME.

TRANSFER HER OUT OF DEPARTMENT 6 INTO ANOTHER COURT-

SAY THE PROBATE OR CRIMINAL DEPARTMENT.

NOW, JUST A MINUTE, MR. BLAIR.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, JUDGE PORTER'S A WOMAN OF ABSOLUTE INTEGRITY.

I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST REASON TO TRANSFER HER.

THERE'S NEVER EVEN BEEN A HINT OF FAVORITISM OR SCANDAL IN HER COURT.

HER RECORD IS IMPECCABLE.

SHE'S A FINE WOMAN AND A BRILLIANT YOUNG JURIST.

I'M GOING TO FORGET YOU CALLED THIS TIME, MR. BLAIR,

BUT IF YOU EVER HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO EVEN MENTION SUCH A THING TO ME AGAIN,

YOU'RE GOING TO FIND YOURSELF IN SOME REAL TROUBLE!

YOU CERTAINLY PUT THE FIX ON THAT.

I'M HOOKED. HOOKED!

AS HELPLESS AS A GOOSE ON A SPIT ROASTING OVER A SLOW FIRE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. THAT'S EASY TO GET OUT OF. EASY.

HOW?

OH, JEFFREY DOESN'T WORK HERE ANYMORE.

NOW, NOW, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, JEFF.

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE MANY THINGS SAID IN HASTE THAT AREN'T REALLY MEANT.

HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS ALIMONY? I'M UNHAPPY ABOUT IT.

YEAH, BUT I'M UNHAPPY, TOO,

AND I COULDN'T TELL YOU UNLESS I WERE HAPPY, NOW, COULD I?

WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER ALL THESE YEARS.

WE'VE TRAVELED TOGETHER, WE'VE FOUGHT EACH OTHER, WE GOT DRUNK TOGETHER.

WHY, JEFF, WE'VE BEEN BUDDIES.

COME ON, TELL ME AS A PAL.

WELL, THEN, AS A PAL, J.M.,

I WANT THE TOP SPOT IN THE WASHINGTON OFFICE,

A BONUS, DOUBLE MY SALARY, A 5-YEAR CONTRACT,

AN UNLIMITED EXPENSE ACCOUNT WITH A WRITTEN OK IN ADVANCE.

SHERMAN...

YES, J.M.?

GET OUT OF MY OFFICE BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT BODILY.

OK, PAL. HAVE IT YOUR OWN WAY...

BUT THINK OF ME EVERY TIME YOU WRITE THAT ALIMONY CHECK.

GOOD-BYE, CUDDLE BABY.

HELLO.

HELLO, MR. SHERMAN.

THERE'LL BE A CALL FOR ME FROM OLD MAN BLAIR.

TELL HIM I CAN'T TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE.

HE'LL HAVE TO COME OVER, AND I'LL ONLY BE IN TILL 3:00.

YES, SIR.

HELLO?

WELL, MR. SHERMAN CAN'T SPEAK TO YOU, SIR.

HE SAYS YOU MAY COME OVER IF YOU WISH.

HE'LL ONLY BE HERE UNTIL 3:00.

I'LL SEE HIM IN HADES, BUT NOT IN HIS HOTEL!

HE IS NOT COMING, SIR. HE WAS QUITE DEFINITE.

THAT'S FINE. NOW, WHEN HE CALLS BACK,

TELL HIM I'LL ONLY BE HERE TILL 2:00.

YES, SIR.

THAT'S MY FINAL OFFER, SHERMAN.

IT'S TOO BAD WE CAN'T GET TOGETHER.

WELL, GOOD-BYE.

SORRY, J.M. THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT IT.

AND YOU DO WANT ME TO BE HAPPY, I KNOW.

AW, JEFF!

AFTER ALL THE YEARS WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER,

YOU WANT A WRITTEN CONTRACT.

YOU DON'T TRUST ME, HUH?

WHY, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

OK, I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF. HAND ME THAT BACK BRUSH DOWN THERE, WILL YOU?

DRAW IT UP, SIGN IT, AND HAVE IT OVER HERE TONIGHT, AND I'LL GET GOING.

YES, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGET ABOUT THAT WASHINGTON JOB.

WHAT?

I SAID, YOU CAN'T HAVE THE SPOT IN WASHINGTON.

I CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING!

I SAID, YOU CAN'T HAVE-

I CAN'T HEAR A WORD!

ALL RIGHT, YOU GET THE WASHINGTON JOB!

I GUESS WE'RE AGREED ON EVERYTHING, AREN'T WE?

ALL BUT THAT BONUS. THAT'S GOT TO COME DOWN TO $1,000.

CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING!

I SAY THE BONUS HAS GOT TO COME DOWN.

I CAN'T HEAR A WORD!

ALL RIGHT, YOU GET THE BONUS!

I LIKE THE WAY WE DO BUSINESS.

NO FIGHTS, NO DISAGREEMENTS.

HAND ME THAT BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND QUIT WORRYING.

I'M NOT WORRYING, BUT HOW CAN YOU BE SURE YOU CAN DO IT?

SHE'S A WOMAN, ISN'T SHE?

AND AN INTELLIGENT ONE-NOT THE KIND YOU'RE USED TO.

IS THAT SO?

AND EXCEEDINGLY SMART, TOO.

SHE'S A WOMAN, THOUGH. EVERY MAN HAS HIS PRICE,

AND EVERY WOMAN HAS HER ACHILLES HEEL.

ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS FIND THAT VULNERABLE SPOT.

THIS MISS ACHILLES MAY NOT HAVE A HEEL.

SHE'S GOING TO GET ONE, THEN.

A HEEL? A HEEL.

SHE'S WAITING, SIR.

THANK YOU, SIR.

BYE-BYE, CUTIE PIE.

GOOD-BYE-EE.

HELLO-EE, DOTTY-EE.

OH, IT'S YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THAT, ARE YOU,

NOT TO ME?

I CERTAINLY AM, DISAPPEARING LIKE THAT. WHERE WERE YOU?

WELL, YOU SEE, I HAD TO MAKE A LITTLE TRIP.

A FRIEND OF MINE WANTED ME TO HELP HIM NAME A COUPLE OF PULLMAN CARS.

I CALLED ONE OF THEM AFTER YOU.

LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU WANT, BUT THE ANSWER IS NO.

YOU WOULDN'T BE MAD AT ME IF YOU DIDN'T STILL LIKE ME.

PSYCHOLOGY.

HOOEY. SO I STILL LIKE YOU. NOW GO AWAY.

DOTTY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE OUT A MARRIAGE LICENSE WITH ME?

BABY!

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT USING IT.

THIS IS PURE BUSINESS.

I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.

LOOK, I'VE GOT AN OFFER TO MAKE.

AND BECAUSE I LIKE YOU BETTER THAN ANY GIRL IN THE WORLD,

I'VE COME TO YOU FIRST.

WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?

NOW, IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS,

YOU'RE GOING TO SUE A CERTAIN LADY FOR ALIENATION OF AFFECTION.

SCANDAL RUINED YOUR LIFE. CLAIM SHE STOLE YOUR LOVING FIANCE.

THAT'S YOU, HUH?

THAT'S ME, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT FOR?

UH, WELL, IT'S SORT OF A GAG.

SHE'S IN POLITICS, AND SHE'S BEEN CRACKING DOWN ON PEOPLE.

SO THIS MAKES HER NAME MUD BECAUSE PEOPLE LAUGH AT HER, HUH?

YEAH. JUST THE LEAST LITTLE WEE BIT OF SCANDAL,

AND FOR NO WORK AT ALL, YOU GET 500 FISH CASH, JUST LIKE THAT.

ARE YOU CONNING ME?

BABY, YOU'RE GOING TO GET THE MONEY TOMORROW.

BUT HOW AM I GOING TO GET WITNESSES TO TESTIFY THAT YOU AND I ARE REALLY-

IT'S ALL DONE WITH MIRRORS AND WIRES.

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEAD ABOUT IT.

DOTTY!

IF YOU'RE NOT TOO BUSY-

I'M JUST GOING TO GO OUT AND GET WITNESSES-

LUNCH. OH, LUNCH. JUST LUNCH.

YEAH, JUST LUNCH. GOOD-BYE, MR. WALTON.

SHE'LL BE RIGHT BACK SHORTLY.

IN TWO MONTHS.

AUGUST 20 IS THE DATE WE'VE PICKED.

HAVEN'T WE, DARLING?

YES, SWEETHEART.

I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HER.

AND I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM.

I'M CERTAIN OF THAT. I'LL HOLD THAT DATE FOR YOUR WEDDING.

UH, YOU'LL BE SURE TO REMEMBER US, WON'T YOU?

OH, YES, YES. YES, INDEED.

GRADUATED FROM CROSBY HIGH SCHOOL. THINK OF THAT, J.M.

ATTENDED BERKELEY COLLEGE. I WAS THERE ONCE.

THEY'VE GOT A NICE CAMPUS AT BERKELEY.

OH, WHO CARES WHERE SHE WENT TO COLLEGE?

NOW, IF IT WERE ME, I'D BEGIN BY BUMPING INTO HER

WHEN SHE WAS OUT DANCING SOME NIGHT.

YEAH? WELL, UP WHERE SHE'S GOING, PAL, THERE AIN'T NO NIGHTCLUBS.

GOING? WHERE IS SHE GOING?

WE ARE GOING TO CAPE COD. CAPE COD?

YEAH, CAPE COD - BEACHES, BOATS, THEATERS IN A BARN,

ARTISTS' COLONIES.

OH, HO HO!

I FOUND A SKELETON IN HER CLOSET.

NO. YEAH.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING. IS IT A BAD ONE?

MMM. HO HO!

WELL, COME ON. WHAT IS IT?

SHE SCULPTS.

SHE WHAT?

SCULPTS. YOU KNOW, MAKES WITH THOSE MARBLE THINGS.

OH, I SEE. AND I SUPPOSE

YOU'RE GOING TO POSE FOR HER OR SOMETHING, HUH?

NOW, LOOK, YOU CAN'T DO-

YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE THE DETAILS TO ME.

ALL RIGHT, BUT I WANT IT DONE ECONOMICALLY.

YES?

Thelma: DOTTY IS HERE TO SEE MR. SHERMAN.

DOTTY? DOTTY WHO?

I KNOW WHO IT IS. I'LL SEE HER.

IS THIS THE GIRL YOU HIRED FOR THE JOB?

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OK.

WHEN YOU START TALKING TO HER-

DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING.

DON'T DO THAT TO ME!

THELMA, J.M. WANTS TO SEE YOU.

HELLO, DOTTY. HELLO, JEFF.

SAY, YOU LOOK AWFUL SHARP THERE.

THAT'S A GOOD-LOOKING OUTFIT.

UH...

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME UP HERE.

BUT I HAD TO.

WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I'M FIRED, THAT'S WHAT.

THAT TWERP IN THE BARBERSHOP

SAW THE MARRIAGE APPLICATION IN THE PAPER, AND HE FIRED ME.

I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY FAIR.

BUT YOU'LL BE TAKEN CARE OF, ALL RIGHT.

LOOK, IF I'M GOING TO BE THE FALL GUY IN THIS LITTLE HAYRIDE,

I OUGHT TO HAVE A BETTER DEAL.

SHERMAN?

YEAH? NOW, LOOK, JEFF-

J.M. WILL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

WHAT WILL I TAKE CARE OF?

I'LL BE RIGHT IN. JUST A HALF A MINUTE.

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEAD ABOUT A THING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR SLICE IS,

BUT I'LL CALL IT SQUARE AT 5 GRAND.

5-5 GRAND, EH?

AFTER ALL, I'M THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO BE FILING THAT SUIT, NOT YOU.

SURE YOU ARE. OK, BABY.

THERE'S THE BOSS.

I'LL SEE THAT J.M. TAKES CARE OF YOU, ALL RIGHT.

GOOD-BYE-EE. GOOD-BYE-EE.

THAT'S ALL, THELMA.

NOW, THAT IS REALLY BRIGHT-

TELLING A GIRL LIKE THAT THAT I'M IN ON THIS.

DON'T GET UPSET. EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL.

WHAT DID SHE WANT?

NOTHING IMPORTANT - JUST A LITTLE MONEY, THAT'S ALL.

YOU SEE THAT IT IS A LITTLE!

LISTEN, PAL, EX-WIFEY'S GOT YOU RIGHT BY THE SEAT OF THE PANTS.

NOW, DO YOU WANT OUT, OR DON'T YOU?

I WANT OUT.

OK, CUDDLE BABY, OUT IS WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET.

BUT KEEP THE COST DOWN!

CAR 602.

TAKE CARE OF THAT CAMERA, NOW.

WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR OWN BRAINCHILD...

OH, WALTER, DON'T BE STUBBORN ABOUT IT.

OF COURSE I'M INTERESTED IN FINISHING THE BOOK.

YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE HER MIND ANYWAY, WALTER.

FREDDIE, DON'T SKIP LIKE THAT.

ALL I'M ASKING, CORNELIA,

IS THAT WE DICTATE THE REVISIONS ON THE LAST CHAPTERS UP THERE

AND GET THEM OUT OF THE WAY.

WELL, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I WANT TO GET SOMETHING TO AMUSE A LITTLE BOY ON THE TRAIN.

YES, INDEED.

SOMETHING FOR A LITTLE BOY, HUH?

WHAT AGE?

OH, ABOUT SO HIGH.

8.

YES, SIR. RIGHT HERE.

EVERYTHING TO MAKE HIM HAPPY AND RUIN YOUR TRIP.

TAKE YOUR CHOICE, SIR.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE A LONG TIME. YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING.

CHLOROFORM.

EITHER THAT OR A GOOD SLAP IN THE KISSER.

WELL, IF YOU'VE DECIDED TO ABANDON ME AND THE BOOK,

I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT BUT SUFFER AND LIKE IT.

NOW CHEER UP. YOU'LL MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

AS A SPECIAL CONCESSION, I'LL QUIT SCULPTING,

AND WE'LL WORK TOGETHER ON THE BOOK THIS WEEKEND.

ALL ABOARD!

IT'S NICE TO KNOW YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER ALL.

OR IS THIS A BAD TIME TO PROPOSE AGAIN?

OH, IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

GOOD-BYE. GOOD-BYE, WALTER.

Conductor: ALL ABOARD!

Sherman: GANGWAY THERE!

Walter: HERE YOU ARE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HEY, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED!

Janey: SURE YOU WON'T HAVE A CUP OF TEA?

Cornelia: NO, THANKS, DEAR.

CAN I BRING YOU SOMETHING BACK?

NOT A THING.

FREDDIE!

YOU WANT TO COME ALONG WITH ME?

NO. I'M GOING TO GO GET A CUP OF WATER.

ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU WANT A DRINK, AUNT CORNELIA?

Cornelia: NO, DEAR. NO.

"THE MOST IMPORTANT SCULPTOR POINT

IS THE BASE FIGURE HORIZONTAL ACROSS THE SHOULDER LINE."

THE MOST IMPORTANT SCULPTOR POINT IS THE BASE...

HELLO THERE.

I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE THAT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, HUH?

NOT FOR ME.

NOT FOR YOU, EH?

WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT THIS?

PRETTY GOOD.

LOOK, TELL YOU WHAT WE DO.

LET'S PACK THIS WHOLE BUSINESS AND GET IT BACK TO YOUR SEAT.

SORRY I KEPT HIM AWAY SO LONG.

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

WE ALMOST HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THAT PISTOL,

BUT WE FINALLY MADE IT.

LOOK!

IT SHOOTS!

FREDDIE!

HA HA HA HA!

I'M SORRY.

I HAVE ONE OF MY OWN.

I'M SO VERY SORRY.

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

SAY THANK YOU TO THE GENTLEMAN, FREDDIE.

THANK YOU. LET'S YOU AND I-

JUST THANK YOU.

OH, I LOVE DOING THINGS FOR KIDS.

SOMETHING ABOUT THEM YOU CAN'T RESIST.

Man: CANDY, MAGAZINES, SOFT DRINKS.

MIND IF FREDDIE AND I SHARE A COLD DRINK?

I'M AFRAID HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO HAVE ANYTHING BETWEEN MEALS.

OH, SURE. YOU DO HAVE TO WATCH THEIR DIETS, DON'T YOU?

YES, YOU DO.

YEAH, MAKES A DIFFERENCE.

GET THE RIGHT FOOD, AND THEIR BONES GROW RIGHT.

I PROBABLY NOTICE THAT MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE.

A SCULPTOR DOES, I GUESS.

I'M DOING IT ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW.

YOU GET TO LOOKING FOR THE, UH...

FOR THE BASE FIGURE HORIZONTAL ACROSS THE SHOULDER LINE.

YOU KNOW, THE ESTABLISHING POINT.

OH, DO YOU?

YEAH. WONDERFUL COUNTRY UP THROUGH HERE, ISN'T IT?

THAT SCENERY MAGNIFICENT.

REMINDS ME OF HONDURAS. LOOK AT THAT VIEW.

WONDERFUL.

I SAID, THE VIEW. DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MISS IT.

IT'S MAGNIFICENT.

MAGNIFICENT.

OF COURSE, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS WITH

VIEWS FROM A TRAIN- GONE IN A FLASH.

BEAUTIFUL SCENE, AND THEN THE BONEWORKS, LIKE LIFE.

LIKE SOME FORMS OF LIFE.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, TRAVEL'S A WONDERFUL THING.

YOU SHOULD DO MORE OF IT.

YEAH. A WHILE AGO, I WAS DOWN IN TRINIDAD.

THEY'VE GOT SOMETHING DOWN THERE I BET YOU NEVER HEARD OF.

IT'S CALLED A TRAVELER'S-TREE,

AND ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS CUT A HOLE IN THE TRUNK,

AND YOU'VE GOT FRESH, PURE DRINKING WATER.

AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I'VE DONE IT. YES, SIR.

STRANGE PLACE, THOUGH, TRINIDAD.

WEIRD FLOWERS AND ANIMALS.

GREAT SPOT TO PAINT AND THAT SORT OF THING.

SCULPT. NOT INTERESTED IN ART BY ANY CHANCE, ARE YOU?

NO, AND I'M BEGINNING TO ABHOR NATURE.

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING MY NEPHEW BACK.

AHEM. WELL, I'VE ENJOYED OUR LITTLE CHAT VERY MUCH.

MY NAME IS SHERMAN, JEFF SHERMAN.

I SAID, MY NAME IS SHERMAN.

YOUR NAME IS SHERMAN.

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY THEY FEEL THE WAY THEY DO DOWN IN GEORGIA.

WELL, I'LL BE SEEING YOU.

HAS THE MAN GONE, FREDDIE?

YES, AUNT CORNELIA.

WEREN'T YOU TOLD NEVER TO TALK TO STRANGERS?

LOOK WHAT I MADE, AUNT CORNELIA.

FREDDIE!

I- EXCUSE ME.

I WAS JUST WIPING OFF YOUR HEAD.

I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF THAT MYSELF, LADY,

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

CAN YOU SUGGEST ANYPLACE AT ALL NEARBY?

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEASON? NO, SIR.

THERE AIN'T A PLACE TO BE RENTED FOR LOVE NOR MONEY.

MIGHT GET YOU A LODGING ROOM SOMEWHERE.

NO. I'VE GOT TO HAVE A STUDIO.

YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.

THANKS VERY MUCH.

Sherman: TAXI!

HEY, TAXI!

DON'T HAPPEN TO KNOW OF A GOOD SCULPTOR WORKING AROUND HERE, DO YOU?

WELL, LET'S SEE.

NOPE.

NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

LET'S SEE.

NOPE.

NO-YEP, JUST THE MAN.

YEP, YEP, YEP.

YEP.

WANT ME TO WAIT FOR YOU?

NO, NOT FOR ME, BUT YOU BETTER STICK AROUND.

THIS SCULPTOR FELLA WILL BE RIGHT OUT.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

HE DON'T WANT TO RENT HIS STUDIO.

MONEY MAKES THE SCULPTOR GO.

MONEY DON'T MEAN NOTHING TO THIS GUY.

HE'S ONE OF THEM ARTISTIC NUTS.

IT DOESN'T, EH? THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO CRACK A NUT.

IT'S NO USE, MISTER.

HE DON'T WANT TO MOVE OUT OF HIS PLACE.

I KNOW, BUT HE WILL. BRING THE BAGS.

HMM.

VERY INTERESTING.

YES, I THINK SO, TOO.

UH, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT, MR. RAOUL?

OH, THIS ONE IS CALLED MIDNIGHT ON A GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT.

MIDNIGHT ON A GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT?

YES. IF I MAY BE SO KIND AS TO EXPLAIN...

I WISH YOU WOULD.

YOU SEE, THE FIGURE REPRESENTS THE GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT WOMAN,

THROUGH WHOSE BEAUTY WE SEE STRANGE WORLDS IN THE DEPTHS-

BEAUTIFUL, YET DISTORTED.

YET THOSE THINGS ARE ONLY SEEN DISTANTLY, FULL OF SHADOWS.

SO NATURALLY, THAT IS WHY I SAY MIDNIGHT ON THE BOAT.

OH. SYMBOLIC!

OH, VERY GOOD.

UH...

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU'RE THE MAN WE'RE LOOKING FOR OR NOT.

OH, I CAN SCULPT ANYTHING. I NEED ONLY THE CONCEPTION.

THEN PICTURE TO YOURSELF THE WHOLE STORY OF AMERICAN HISTORY,

SCULPTING THAT IN ALL ITS VAST EVOLUTION.

VAST EVOLUTION, YES.

CUT IN IMPERISHABLE STONE WHERE ONE MILLION PEOPLE WILL SEE IT.

ONE MILLION PEOPLE, YES.

EVERY DAY, MR. RAOUL, AND FLOODLIT AT NIGHT.

YEAH. EVERY DAY, EVERY NIGHT.

THAT'S THE TASK, TO SCULPT THAT ON THE FACE

OF THE GREAT J.M. BLAIR BUILDING DOWN IN THE BIG CITY.

OH, IS WONDERFUL!

WONDERFUL? I'LL SAY! IT'S A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY,

BUT A VERY DIFFICULT TASK.

IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU'VE GOT TO GET IN THE PIONEERS,

WASHINGTON, LINCOLN, LEE, THE INDIANS.

IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG, GRUELING JOB, MR. RAOUL,

BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE EQUAL TO IT.

I- I-I KNOW I CAN DO IT.

ARE YOU SURE?

I AM POSITIVE.

LONG DISTANCE, PLEASE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU CRAZY IDIOT?

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU'RE SAYING.

WHAT ARE-

TONIGHT, EH?

OH.

HE SAYS YOU'LL HAVE TO START IMMEDIATELY.

BUT HE CAN'T POSSIBLY DO THAT.

OH, I KNOW I CAN DO IT.

THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT.

OH, NOTHING IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR ART.

YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU COULD START TODAY, IN AN HOUR?

IN A MINUTE.

HE'LL ACCEPT, MR. BLAIR.

HE'LL ACCEPT IT?

WHO WILL ACCEPT WHAT?

VERY WELL. YES, I UNDERSTAND.

MR. RAOUL WILL LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. GOOD-BYE.

I MUST PACK AT ONCE!

YOU'VE TAKEN A STEP TODAY THAT WILL MAKE YOU

THE MOST FAMOUS SCULPTOR IN AMERICA.

IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

IT'S NOT FAIR TO AN ARTIST OF YOUR CALIBER

TO RUSH HIM OFF LIKE THIS.

A SOLDIER OF ART MUST BE PREPARED TO DO ANYTHING,

GO ANYWHERE FOR HIS ART ON A MOMENT'S NOTICE.

YOU'RE CERTAINLY PROVING THAT.

I CAN SEE IT ALL BEFORE ME ALREADY, GLOWING IN A BLUE LIGHT.

I SHALL CALL IT PANORAMA AMERICANA.

GREAT!

YES. I SHALL BEGIN WITH INDIANS.

WIGWAMS.

AH, IT'S AN INSPIRATION.

WHO'S HIRING WHO,

AND WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

JUST TELL ME, THAT'S ALL.

NOW, CALM DOWN, J.M. I'LL WRITE YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

LOOK, I JUST SENT YOU A SCULPTOR DOWN THERE BY THE NAME OF RAOUL.

WHEN HE SHOWS UP, HANG HIM ON A SCAFFOLD OUTSIDE OF THE BUILDING

AND HAVE HIM DRAW SKETCHES.

AND WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP HIM THERE UNTIL YOU HEAR FROM ME.

OH, EVERYTHING'S GOING GREAT HERE.

OH, SAY, LISTEN.

IF HE ASKS FOR AN INDIAN, GET HIM ONE.

INDIAN?

I'M GLAD EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF. THANK YOU.

AH, YES!

TABLE FOR JUDGE PORTER.

HOPE YOU HUNGRY.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO

SOME BOUILLABAISSE FOR WEEKS.

AH, YES.

ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO TAKE CARE OF SOMEBODY

WHO APPRECIATES A NICE FISH STEW.

I HOPE YOU STILL MAKE THE KIND WITH EVERYTHING IN IT.

IF IT SWIMS, WE GOT THEM IN THE BOUILLABAISSE.

GOOD.

ONE ORDER BOUILLABAISSE!

GREAT LITTLE PLACE, THIS, ISN'T IT, HUH?

IT'S MR. SHERMAN AGAIN.

DON'T YOU WORRY. I WON'T INTRUDE.

JUST FOLLOWED YOU IN TO APOLOGIZE.

YOU'VE ALREADY APOLOGIZED.

AH, BUT TWO APOLOGIES ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN ONE.

THAT'S WHAT I SAY.

TWO WILL BE QUITE SUFFICIENT.

DO YOU MIND? I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE.

OH, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL.

AWFULLY NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN.

GOOD-BYE.

AH. I'LL HAVE A SHRIMP COCKTAIL

AND A LARGE BOWL OF BOUILLABAISSE-

I CAN RECOMMEND IT- WITH LOTS OF CLAMS.

SURE. WE GOT THEM.

SOME CRACKERS WHILE YOU'RE WAITING?

NO, THANK YOU. THEY'RE AWFULLY GOOD.

ON THAT TRAIN, SOMETHING TOLD ME

THAT I WAS GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

OH, DON'T MIND MY TALKING LIKE THIS.

IT'S A COMPLEX WITH ME.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE CLAUSTROPHOBIA.

THEY JUST GO CRAZY WHEN THEY'RE ENCLOSED IN SPACES.

I'VE GOT AN UNCLE WHO'S GOT HELIOPHOBIA-

HE SIMPLY CANNOT STAND BEING IN THE SUN.

MINE IS DIFFERENT. IT'S SOLOPHOBIA.

JUST CANNOT STAND EATING ALONE.

YOU SHOULD LEARN TO DIVIDE, LIKE AN AMEBA.

AND DON'T THINK THAT YOU HAVEN'T GOT A COMPLEX, TOO.

IT SHOWS UP ALL OVER YOU. YOU'RE INHIBITED.

YOU OUGHT TO TAKE UP SOME FORM OF ART TO RELEASE YOURSELF-

PAINTING, SCULPTURE.

THAT'S MY WORK- CHISELING.

TOO BAD YOU CAN'T CONFINE IT TO MARBLE.

YEAH. IT-

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I, ONCE UPON A TIME, WORKED IN AN OFFICE.

IMAGINE THAT? WORKED FOR A MAN CALLED GUFFEY.

AND ONE DAY I SAID TO HIM,

"MR. GUFFEY, MY HEART IS NOT IN THIS BUSINESS OF SELLING FURNITURE."

AND HE SAID TO ME- HE WAS ONE OF THOSE TOUGH SORT OF BOSSES-

HE SAID TO ME, "GET BACK TO YOUR DESK THERE, YOU YOUNG SQUIRT."

AND WITH THAT, I PICKED UP THE LEDGER ON HIS DESK.

I SAID, "THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE WORKED YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR.

NOW ARE YOU HAPPY?"

AND HE SAID TO ME, "I WON'T STAND FOR THIS INSOLENCE. YOU'RE A JACKASS!"

I SAID, "GET OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT.

"FOR 8 YEARS, I'VE WORKED FOR YOU,

"SOLD THAT FURNITURE OF YOURS, LIED TO PEOPLE ABOUT IT-

"POOR, HONEST PEOPLE- FOR A MISERABLE $30 A WEEK!

AND NOW I'M THROUGH. I'M MY OWN MASTER. MY SOUL BELONGS TO ME."

UH...

YES. A LITTLE FRESH AIR, PLEASE.

IT'S GOING TO HELP YOU.

COME ON. YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.

Freddie: MOTHER!

SHH. BE QUIET.

MOTHER!

BE QUIET.

LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT!

AAH! OH, DEAR.

BE QUIET. YOU'LL WAKE UP YOUR AUNT CORNELIA.

CAN WE HAVE THEM FOR BREAKFAST? CAN WE?

ALL OF THEM?

YES! SURE!

SHH. BE QUIET. YES, WE CAN HAVE ALL OF THEM.

CAN I HELP COOK THEM?

YES, YOU CAN HELP COOK THEM. OH, BOY!

AHCHOO!

AHCHOO!

AH-JANE!

Jane: CORNELIA, IS THAT YOU?

AHCHOO!

MY HAY FEVER'S COME BACK ON ME.

ROSES?! CORNELIA, ROSES.

TAKE THEM AWAY! TAKE THEM AWAY!

OH, DEAR.

AHCHOO! OH...

"DEAR MISS PORTER, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY I ACTED.

"INCIDENTALLY, ANYONE AS...

"AS LOVELY AS YOU

SHOULD WAKE UP EVERY MORNING WITH RO"...

RO-RO-RO-AHCHOO!

"ROSES ON YOUR PILLOW.

JEFF-AHCHOO!- SHERMAN."

AHCHOO!

"DEAR J.M., HAVE HAD A SLIGHT SETBACK,

"BUT THINGS ARE SHAPING UP GREAT.

"THIS CASE REQUIRES THE SLOW BUILDUP.

"BUT THIS ACHILLES HEEL IS EASY TO FIND.

"WHEN THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU TELL THEM THEY HAVE BRAINS AND VICE VERSA.

THIS IS VICE. JEFF."

JEFF SHERMAN, CAPE COD, MASSACHUSETTS.

NEVER MIND THE ALIBIS. GET RESULTS.

HEREAFTER, FILE EXPENSE ACCOUNT WEEKLY, AND ITEMIZE IT.

REGARDS, J.M. BLAIR.

NO, WAIT A MINUTE.

NEVER MIND THE REGARDS.

I'M SORRY, MR. SHERMAN. MISS PORTER WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE YOU.

BUT, UH-

HELLO, FREDDIE. A KITE THERE, HUH?

I CAN'T TALK TO YOU NOW. I'M AWFUL BUSY.

BUT DO YOU KNOW THAT I USED TO WIN PRIZES AT THIS KIND OF THING?

NOW, LOOK. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE.

UH... COME HERE.

YOU HANG ON TO IT THERE, AND I'LL LET YOU IN ON A SECRET.

THERE YOU ARE, NOW.

CAN YOU SWIM?

CERTAINLY I CAN SWIM.

OH, THAT'S FINE. NOW, THEN.

THE SECRET IS NEVER TO TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE KITE WHEN YOU'RE RUNNING BACKWARD.

ARE YOU ALL READY NOW?

OK!

LET HER GO!

HANG ON, FREDDIE! I'LL SAVE YOU!

HANG ON, FREDDIE! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. UNCLE JEFF'S RIGHT HERE. THERE WE ARE.

THERE, THERE. HOW DO YOU FEEL, HUH?

FREDDIE! BABY LAMB!

FREDDIE, ANGEL!

AW...

HE'S ALL RIGHT. JUST A LITTLE DIP.

BUT SUPPOSING YOU HADN'T BEEN HERE?

I WOULDN'T HAVE FALLEN IN.

LOOK, I THINK WE'D BETTER GET HIM RIGHT IN THE HOUSE.

YOU TAKE THIS, WILL YOU? COME ON.

OW!

AW, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

PUT ME DOWN! I CAN WALK. I'M NO BABY.

OF COURSE YOU'RE NO BABY.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

Sherman: THERE YOU ARE.

YOU WERE SIMPLY WONDERFUL.

I THINK IT WAS JUST PROVIDENCE THAT PUT YOU THERE.

PROVIDENCE DIDN'T PUT ME THERE.

Jane: FREDDIE!

SAY THANK YOU TO THE LOVELY GENTLEMAN

WHO PRACTICALLY SAVED YOU FROM DROWNING.

THANK YOU.

NOW, IS THAT NICE?

JUST FOR THAT, YOU RUN UPSTAIRS

AND CHANGE YOUR WET CLOTHES.

ALL RIGHT.

JUST AT THAT AGE, ISN'T HE?

OH, YES. HE'S VERY BIG FOR HIS SIZE.

UH...

WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. LET ME TAKE THIS. IT'S VERY VALUABLE.

ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU LIVING UP HERE WITH YOUR WIFE, MISTER...

SHERMAN IS MY NAME.

HELLO.

OH, HERE, NETTIE.

PUT THESE THINGS RIGHT HERE.

ALLOW ME, NETTIE.

YOU CAN RUN UPSTAIRS AND HELP FREDDIE. I'LL POUR.

BYE, NETTIE.

DID YOU SAY YOU WERE LIVING UP HERE WITH YOUR WIFE?

OH, NO. I'M A BACHELOR.

OH, GOOD.

UH, THAT IS, UH...

YOU'RE AN ARTIST, AREN'T YOU?

MMM...

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO SOMETHING IN ART, BUT FREDDIE'S FATHER ALWAYS-

WE'RE DIVORCED, OF COURSE- HE OBJECTED.

IS THAT SO?

YES. I JUST ADORE ART. DON'T YOU?

IT'S SO... ARTISTIC.

YES, IT-IT...

YES, IT'S QUITE ARTISTIC.

YES.

CORNELIA?

CORNELIA, COME HERE A MINUTE.

OH, CORNELIA, THE MOST EXCITING THING HA-

MR. SHERMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

WELL, HE PRACTICALLY SAVED FREDDIE FROM DROWNING.

Nettie: MASTER FREDDIE, YOU BRING THAT BB GUN BACK HERE!

OH, DEAR. I'LL HAVE TO GO RIGHT UP.

WHEN HE'S ANGRY, HE ALWAYS GOES AFTER HIS BB GUN.

DON'T GO AWAY.

VERY CONVENIENT OF FREDDIE

TO HAVE POPPED IN THE WATER JUST THEN, WASN'T IT?

ANGRY?

JUST WHY DID YOU CALL, MR. SHERMAN?

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I'D LIKE TO DO A HEAD OF YOU.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO HAVE YOUR HEAD SCULPTED?

I THINK I OUGHT TO HAVE IT EXAMINED

FOR STANDING HERE TALKING TO YOU.

JUST A MINUTE. MAYBE I WASN'T EXACTLY CONVENTIONAL

IN APPROACHING YOU TO POSE FOR ME,

BUT AFTER ALL, YOU CAN'T EXPECT AN ARTIST LIKE ME-

TOO MANY ARTISTS USE VERY LITTLE TALENT

AS AN EXCUSE TO BREAK THE LAWS OF BEHAVIOR.

MISS CORNELIA, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR AESTHETIC EGO.

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO HAVE YOURS LOOKED INTO

BY THE COMMITTEE INVESTIGATING INFLATION.

NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND...

AT LEAST BEFORE YOU SAY NO, HAVE A LOOK AT MY WORK.

HERE.

THERE IT IS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

IS THAT YOURS?

TEMPORARILY.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, WELL, I HAVE TO SELL WHAT I CREATE.

ARTISTS MUST EAT, YOU KNOW.

IT'S REALLY QUITE GOOD.

I CALL IT MIDNIGHT ON A GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT.

OR LOST IN A FOG. THAT'S QUITE A TITLE.

NOW, YOU SEE, THIS FIGURE REPRESENTS

A GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT... WOMAN,

THROUGH WHOSE BEAUTY WE SEE STRANGE WORLDS IN THE DEPTHS-

BEAUTIFUL AND DISTORTED.

YET, UH, THOSE THINGS ARE SEEN, UH...

WELL, THEY'RE SEEN DISTANTLY AND FULL OF HEAVY SHADOWS.

THAT'S WHY I SAY MIDNIGHT ON A GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT.

THAT'S RATHER INVOLVED. BUT TELL ME, HOW DID YOU-

NOW, I WANT YOU TO SEE IT FROM THIS ANGLE, YOU SEE?

YOU GET THE FEELING THAT I'M TRYING TO INTERPRET THERE?

SEE THAT?

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING OF THAT SAME QUALITY.

WHAT, DISTORTED?

NO, NO. A KIND OF EXOTIC MYSTERY AND GLAMOUR.

ME?

CERTAINLY YOU. SOME PEOPLE CALL IT MAGNETISM.

IT'S THAT QUALITY THAT MAKES A GREAT ACTRESS AND A GREAT LOVER.

UH, I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE MY SAYING THIS,

BUT, UH, I DOUBT VERY MUCH IF YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD.

NOT A SINGLE, SOLITARY ONE.

GREAT ARTISTS AND GREAT ACTRESSES AND LOVERS NEVER THINK.

THEY'RE PURE EMOTION.

THEY'RE NOT EVEN AWARE OF THEIR OWN FASCINATION.

THEY ONLY FEEL.

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

OH! YOU ARE.

OH, YOU COULDN'T BE FURTHER WRONG.

YOU JUST COULDN'T BE.

EXOTIC... GLAMOROUS... AN ACTRESS.

OH, GOD! HA HA HA!

YES, A KIND OF A MYSTERIOUS-

MYSTERIOUS? HA HA HA!

OH, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUNNY YOU ARE.

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS NOT.

JANEY?

Janey: YES?

SHOW MR. SHERMAN THE DOOR.

IT'S KILLING ME. EXOTIC! HA HA!

OH, WELL.

OH!

Janey: FREDDIE! FREDDIE!

OH, FREDDIE, PLEASE GIVE MOTHER THAT BB GUN!

MMM... GLAMOROUS... EXOTIC... AH, DEAR.

YOUR BATH'S READY, MA'AM.

I, UH, I WAS JUST LAUGHING ABOUT THAT ARTIST FELLOW OUT THERE.

HE SAID I WAS AN ACTRESS, EXOTIC, GLAMOROUS-ME!

HA HA! A JUDGE BEING GLAMOROUS!

GLAMOROUS? HA HA!

THAT IS FUNNY ALL RIGHT, MA'AM.

I KNOW. IT'S SILLY.

GLAMOROUS!

THERE YOU ARE, JANEY.

OH, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

I JUST LOVE CAPE COD AND THE VILLAGE.

I HATE TO SEE NEWCOMERS INVADING IT, DON'T YOU?

Both: YES.

WON'T YOU HAVE A DRINK, WALTER?

THANK YOU, JANE.

IT WILL HELP SWEEP THE COBWEBS OUT OF MY MIND.

WELL, CHEERS.

WALTER ALWAYS HAS SO MANY LEGAL THINGS ON HIS MIND,

LIKE HABEAS CHORUS.

HABEAS CORPUS DURING WORKING HOURS, JANE, DEAR.

CORNELIA!

I'VE ASKED MR. SHERMAN TO STAY FOR DINNER.

HELLO, CORNELIA, DEAR.

OH... YOU LIKE IT, WALTER?

IT'S IMMENSE! REALLY, I CAN'T TELL YOU.

OH, NOW, WALTER.

REALLY, IT ISN'T THAT EXCITING.

BUT IT IS!

I'VE NEVER READ ANYTHING MORE BRILLIANT.

THIS LAST CHAPTER MADE ME REALIZE WHAT A MASTER

OF JUDICIAL EXPOSITION YOU'VE BECOME.

UH, YOU DON'T LOOK VERY JUDICIAL THIS EVENING.

I'M AFRAID I DIDN'T INTEND TO.

CORNELIA'S ALL GUSSIED UP, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

OH, YES, I DID.

YES, I-I DID!

THE GODDESS OF JUSTICE ALL SHINING,

THE STATUE IN NEW ARRAY.

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IN A PARK,

HOLDING UP A MARBLE TORCH

BUT I DID THINK YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW GOOD THIS IS-

WALTER, LATER PERHAPS.

I'M NOT QUITE IN THE MOOD.

OH, SURE.

CAPE COD SPECIAL-

GUARANTEED TO DRIVE THE DUST OFF STATUES.

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER CUP, NETTIE.

OH, COME ON NOW. TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

ARTISTS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES.

WELL, I'D RATHER NOT.

OH, TELL ME HOW YOU BEGAN SCULPTURING.

IT WAS, UM, QUITE ACCIDENTAL AS A MATTER OF FACT.

YOU SEE, MY FATHER WAS A SAND SCULPTOR IN ATLANTIC CITY.

OH, HOW INTERESTING!

UH, YOUR MOVE, CORNELIA.

UH, YES, I KNOW.

I WAS WATCHING THE SEA.

I FEEL ODD TONIGHT- RESTLESS.

INDIGESTION.

NO. JUST RESTLESS.

IT WAS PROBABLY THAT CRAB YOU HAD FOR DINNER.

YOU KNOW WHAT CRAB ALWAYS DOES TO YOU.

WALTER, DEAR, CRAB DOES NOTHING TO ME.

WELL, IT, UH...

WHAT SORT OF FEELING IS IT EXACTLY?

I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY.

JUST PLAIN OLD-FASHIONED RESTLESS, I GUESS.

NERVES.

I'LL GET YOU AN AMYNAL TABLET.

THAT'LL QUIET YOU DOWN IN NO TIME.

IT'S CHILLY OUT HERE.

OH, YES, IT'S FREEZING.

I'LL GET A WRAP AND BE RIGHT BACK.

OH, DON'T HURRY. JUST-JUST TAKE YOUR TIME.

MMM... BLESS YOUR HEART.

WHERE'S WALTER?

HE'S GONE TO GET ME AN AMYNAL TABLET AGAIN.

OH, HE HAS ALL THE ROMANCE OF AN OLD HERRING.

WELL, HE LIKED THE NEW CHAPTER.

HE TAKES YOU FOR GRANTED.

AND THE FUNNY THING IS

THAT ARTIST FELLOW IS-

WELL, HE'S INSANE ABOUT YOU!

HE'S SO SILLY.

YES, BUT TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE, DARLING.

I'M VERY SAD ABOUT IT REALLY.

HE CAN'T SEE ME FOR SAWDUST.

SAY, YOU OUGHT TO BE OUTSIDE.

IT'S A GREAT NIGHT!

BALMY AND LOVELY OUT THERE.

I'M PLAYING CHESS.

BY YOURSELF?

WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN A BICYCLE RIDE BY ANY CHANCE?

IN A WHAT?

YOU KNOW- A MOONLIGHT PEDAL.

Walter: CORNELIA?

YES, DEAR?

WANT A LITTLE BICARBONATE WITH THIS TABLET?

NO, THANK YOU, WALTER.

LOOK, WE COULD BE BACK IN A HALF AN HOUR.

THIS WILL CALM YOU DOWN IN NO TIME-

I REALLY SHOULDN'T RUN OUT LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW.

WHY NOT?

IT GIVES ME SORT OF A GUILTY FEELING.

YES, BUT YOU DON'T FEEL RESTLESS ANYMORE, DO YOU?

WELL, NOT AS MUCH.

WE'D LIKE A COUPLE OF BICYCLES, PLEASE.

YES, SIR.

YOU KNOW, MY STUDIO ISN'T FAR FROM HERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DROP IN FOR A MOMENT?

OH, NO, THANKS. IT'S MUCH TOO LOVELY OUTDOORS.

YEAH.

I CAN'T WHISTLE. NEVER COULD.

TRY HUMMING IT, THEN.

DAISY, DAISY

GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER, DO

I'M HALF CRAZY ALL FOR THE LOVE OF YOU

IT WON'T BE A STYLISH MARRIAGE

I CAN'T AFFORD A CARRIAGE

BUT YOU'LL LOOK SWEET UPON THE SEAT

OF A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO

BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP

DAISY, DAISY

GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER, DO

HELLO, J.M.?

WELL, SHE'S DUE HERE ANY MINUTE,

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO SCULPT HER HEAD.

YEAH... WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?

WELL, TUESDAY WE SWAM. YOU GOT THOSE, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH?

ALL RIGHT, THEN ON- WELL, LET ME SEE.

LAST FRIDAY WE RODE, AND SUNDAY WE RODE AGAIN.

I SENT THOSE UP. YOU OUGHT TO HAVE THEM BY NOW.

HUH? AND WHAT ABOUT THAT PICNIC ON SATURDAY?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR A FEW WEEKS' WORK?

AFTER ALL, THIS IS A SLOW BUILDUP TYPE.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT!

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BILLS AND THAT LITTLE PARTNER OF YOURS-

DOTTY... DOTTY... WHATEVER HER NAME IS.

LISTEN, MR. BRAINS,

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GOT ME INTO WITH HER?

SAY, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, J.M.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN STARTING ANYTHING

WITH HER NOW, HAVE YOU?

STARTED ANYTHING?! SHE'S PRACTICALLY TRIED TO BLACKMAIL ME!

WHAT'S SHE WANT? SHE WANTS 5 GRAND OF MY MONEY!

WAIT-THAT CERTAIN PARTY IS HERE NOW.

I CAN'T TALK ANY MORE.

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

COMING, CORNELIA!

WELL, CORNELIA, NICE TO SEE YOU. COME IN.

THANK YOU.

TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE LITTLE WORKSHOP?

WHY, I'M SURPRISED. I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE THIS INDUSTRIOUS.

IT'S A BIT ON THE DIM SIDE

FOR SCULPTING THOUGH, ISN'T IT?

OH, NO, NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE OUGHT TO DO? CELEBRATE!

AFTER ALL, THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT

TO MY SANCTUM HERE, ISN'T IT,

AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING...

AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, YOU KNOW,

I DON'T FEEL THE LEAST LITTLE BIT LIKE WORKING TODAY.

OH, DON'T YOU?

NO!

YOU KNOW, FOR SOME SILLY REASON,

I KEEP THINKING OF A MAN NAMED SMITH.

SMITH, EH?

WELL, HERE'S TO SMITH.

CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.

ABOUT ALL I REMEMBER IS HE WAS A DEFENDANT IN A CASE I ONCE TRIED.

INTERESTING, I ASSUME.

HMM. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE UNPLEASANT AFFAIRS.

YOU KNOW THE KIND.

SHE WAS IN HIS APARTMENT. WILSON VS. SMITH.

IT WAS AMUSING.

HE FANCIED HIMSELF A CASANOVA-YOU KNOW THE TYPE.

HMM!

HIS FAVORITE TRICK- THIS IS SCREAMINGLY FUNNY-

HIS FAVORITE TRICK

WAS TO PLACE A BOOK OF POETRY BESIDE THE COUCH.

YES. VERY FUNNY.

ALWAYS LEFT THE PAGE OPEN IN THE SAME PLACE, OF COURSE.

THE SONG OF SONGS.

THOU ARE FAIR, MY BELOVED,

THE ROSE OF SHARON, THE LILY OF THE VALLEY.

DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S JUST PRICELESS?

OH, YES, IT CERTAINLY IS.

WHAT AN ABSURD COINCIDENCE!

THE SONG OF SONGS.

NO!

YES.

IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT?

AH, YES.

POOR SMITH. HE WAS RATHER A STUPID FELLOW, AS I RECALL.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MUCH TOO LOVELY FOR US TO BE TALKING ABOUT LAW.

THE CURSE OF A LEGAL MEMORY.

AND THOSE THINGS!

I NEVER HAVE SEEN THOSE THAT I DON'T THINK OF THE OSBORN CASE.

EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A PHONOGRAPH,

I THINK OF THAT POOR LITTLE MAN.

HE PREFERRED THE SOULFUL APPROACH.

YOU KNOW, A VIOLIN SOLO-

PLAYED, OF COURSE, ON A RECORD-

OF THE INDIAN LOVE CALL.

I WOULDN'T PLAY THAT IF I WERE YOU.

NO? OH, WHY NOT?

WELL, IT-BY AN ABSURD COINCIDENCE-

IS THE INDIAN LOVE CALL.

OH, REALLY?

YEAH. FUNNY, ISN'T IT?

THEN I REMEMBER-

OR SHALL I TELL YOU ABOUT ANOTHER OF MY CASES?

NO, I DON'T THINK IT WILL BE NECESSARY.

YOU SEE, BY ANOTHER ABSURD COINCIDENCE,

I'M, UH-WELL, I'M SOMEWHAT CLAIRVOYANT.

EXTRAORDINARY, ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

OH, THIS STATUE HERE-

THIS CROSS GRAIN IS VERY INTERESTING.

HOW DID YOU GET IT?

YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE CROSS GRAIN?

YES.

UH, WELL, NOW. IF YOU'D COME RIGHT OVER HERE AND SIT DOWN,

I'LL EXPLAIN THE WHOLE THING TO YOU.

UH, BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT THE CROSS GRAIN, THOUGH,

WHAT ABOUT YOU AND ME?

I MEAN, UH- WELL, TELL ME-

WHAT-WHAT POSE DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD LIKE?

THE TELEPHONE. WILL YOU EXCUSE ME JUST A MINUTE?

HELLO?

JEFF? THIS IS DOTTY.

I'VE TAKEN JUST ABOUT ALL I'M GOING TO TAKE FROM YOU, PAL.

OH, UH, I'M AFRAID YOU MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.

I'M UP HERE, BIG BOY,

AND I'LL BE OVER THERE IN TWO MINUTES FLAT,

AND I WANT WHAT'S COMING TO ME, SEE?

YOU'RE-OH, YOU'RE PHONING FOR EDDIE!

WELL, THEN, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

HE'S WHAT?

WELL, WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? IS IT SERIOUS?

AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE. HE'S VERY SICK.

NO, NO, NO, NO! DON'T DO THAT.

I'LL COME OVER THERE RIGHT AWAY.

OH, YES. YOU TELL EDDIE.

I'LL BE RIGHT OVER THERE, AND I'LL TELL YOU.

NO, NO, NO. I WILL COME OVER THERE.

RIGHT AWAY. YES. GOOD-BYE.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, CORNELIA. IT'S AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE.

IT'S TOO BAD. ANYTHING SERIOUS?

UH, WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW YET.

YOU SEE, IT CAME ON VERY SUDDENLY.

WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY IF WE POSTPONED OUR SCULPTING FOR ANOTHER DAY?

OF COURSE NOT. I UNDERSTAND.

YOU SEE, I'M AFRAID I WOULDN'T BE IN JUST THE RIGHT MOOD.

THINGS LIKE THIS- YOU DON'T FEEL VERY CREATIVE.

NO, I WOULDN'T EITHER.

YOU JUST GO ALONG AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

WELL, NOW, WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN?

I DON'T KNOW.

TOMORROW I HAVE TO SPEAK AT A RED CROSS RALLY,

AND AFTER THAT, I THINK THAT WE'RE ALL-

WHAT ABOUT TONIGHT?

IT'S LOW TIDE. OUGHT TO BE A GREAT NIGHT FOR CLAMMING.

WHAT ABOUT BLUE COVE AT 8:00, HUH?

THE COVE AT 8:00.

FINE.

WAIT FOR ME.

HELLO, DOTTY!

I'VE JUST GOT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU, JEFF.

WAIT TILL WE GET INSIDE.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME UP HERE, HONEY.

IF I DON'T GET 5 GRAND, I'M GOING TO THE JUDGE AND SPILL.

NOW, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO.

YOU GO ON BACK TO THE CITY, AND I'LL FIX THE WHOLE THING UP.

IT'S GOT TO BE MORE THAN A PROMISE, BIG BOY.

THIS CERTAINLY LOOKS STRANGELY FAMILIAR.

STILL USING THE SAME OLD LINE, TOO.

I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT.

YOU WERE FAR AWAY AND IN SORT OF A ROSE GARDEN.

THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN TREATING ME,

I FEEL LIKE TELLING EVERYTHING AND FIXING YOU GOOD.

OH, NOW, SIT DOWN THERE, BABY.

YOU LIKE ME TOO MUCH FOR THAT.

YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL YOU DO.

TELL YOU WHAT WE'LL DO.

YOU AND I WILL HAVE A LITTLE DRINK AND TALK THE WHOLE THING OVER.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK.

I WANT A DEFINITE ANSWER.

THAT'S WHAT THIS WILL HELP US GET.

COME ON. THERE YOU ARE.

HERE'S TO YOU AND ME, NOW.

WELL, DID YOU ENJOY BEING A SCULPTOR'S MODEL?

OH, WE DIDN'T EVEN BEGIN.

WHAT HAPPENED. DIDN'T HE SCULPT YOU?

THERE'S SUCH A THING AS ARTISTS' MOODS, YOU KNOW, WALTER.

LET'S SEE HERE, NOW.

"CIVIL CODE PROVIDES IN SUCH CASES-"

HMM. "QUESTION OF BRINGING UP NEW WITNESSES."

"INEQUITY"... OH, THIS SHOULD BE OHIO INSTEAD OF WISCONSIN

FOR THAT CITATION, WALTER.

WHAT DID YOU DO IF HE DIDN'T SCULPT YOU?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

WE JUST SAT AROUND AND LAUGHED AND TALKED AND SO FORTH.

AND SO FORTH?!

"AND SO FORTH."

OH. HA HA!

AND A BED WITH SATIN SHEETS.

ALL MY LIFE, I'VE NEVER EVEN HAD ONE SATIN SHEET.

ISN'T THAT STINKY, JEFF?

YEAH. THAT'S STINKY.

NOT EVEN ONE.

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE A DOZEN OF THEM.

AND A COTTAGE AND EVERYTHING!

AH, IT'LL BE GREAT!

WONDERFUL!

I CAN SEE US THERE ALREADY.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO.

YOU GO ON BACK TO TOWN

AND THEN COME UP HERE NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, DON'T YOU FORGET.

NO, I WON'T FORGET.

THAT'S MY GIRL. THERE WE GO.

WHAT ABOUT MY TROUSSEAU?

I GOT TO HAVE A TROUSSEAU.

OH, YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT.

JUST GO INTO MANTELLS AND BUY ANYTHING YOU NEED.

MANTELLS?

SURE.

WHAT AM I GOING TO USE FOR MONEY?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT A LITTLE THING LIKE THAT.

CHARGE IT TO BOSS. COME ON, BABY.

WATCH YOUR STEP.

THAT'S THE GIRL.

THERE WE GO.

HERE'S YOUR HAT.

GOOD-BYE-EE!

GOOD-BYE-EE, DOTTY-EE.

YOU KNOW, I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU.

YOU WERE FAR AWAY IN SORT OF A ROSE GARDEN,

AND I-I COULDN'T SEE YOUR FACE AT FIRST,

AND THEN YOU - YOU CAME TO ME OUT OF THE SHADOWS.

UH-UH.

UH-UH?

LET'S BE HONEST, HMM?

BUT I AM HONEST.

LET'S NOT TALK LIKE AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR TAHITI

JUST BECAUSE THERE'S A MOON AND THINGS.

I'D RATHER YOU'D SAY "UGH" AND MEANT IT

THAN A LOT OF BOSH YOU THOUGHT THE MOMENT CALLED FOR.

OK. UGH.

HA HA! THAT'S NO GOOD. YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT.

YOU'RE TOO CYNICAL ABOUT IT.

WELL, THAT'S THE WAY IT STRIKES ME.

WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF-ICE?

NO. WHY?

DON'T YOU FEEL ANYTHING?

A MOONLIT SURF, A DESERTED BEACH,

AN OLD BOAT SLEEPING IN THE SAND?

YES, OF COURSE, I DO.

WELL, THEN?

OH, YOU WERE WRONG.

SUNSET AND EVENING STAR AND ONE CLEAR CALL FOR ME!

AND LET THERE BE NO MOANING OF THE BAR, WHEN I PUT OUT TO SEA.

CLEAR AS MUD.

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT I'VE ALWAYS HUNG ON TO MYSELF.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN MOODS.

MOODS BETRAY YOU. THEY CHANGE IN A DAY.

WHEN I PUT OUT TO SEA, I-

I WANT TO BE SO SURE OF IT

THAT NEVER, EVER, EVER WILL THERE BE ANY MOANING OF THE BAR.

NO REGRETS.

TOO SERIOUS. WAY TOO SERIOUS.

JUST SENSIBLE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SUFFERING

FROM TOO MUCH SUCCESS AS A JUDGE.

IT'S MADE YOU DOGMATIC.

YOU LIVE BY RULES.

IN OTHER WORDS, UNFEMININE, EH?

WELL, YOU DON'T SOUND EXACTLY LIKE THE WOMAN'S PAGE.

HOW DO OTHER WOMEN ACT?

WOULD YOU REALLY LIKEO KNOW?

MM-HMM.

WELL, THEN, LET'S SEE.

JANEY ALWAYS TELLS ME I'M A HUMAN LAW BOOK, TOO.

NOW, LET'S PRETEND I'M ANOTHER GIRL.

HERE WE ARE-.

ALONE ON THE BEACH.

MM-HMM.

WELL, IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU'D BE LIKE THIS.

THERE. SEE?

AND, UH, THEN YOU'D SAY, UH...

"I DREAMED I SAW YOU FAR AWAY LAST NIGHT"...

AND SOMETHING AND THEN SOMETHING ABOUT A ROSE GARDEN.

AND WHAT WOULD I SAY?

THEN YOU'D SAY, "DID YOU, JEFF?"

DID YOU, JEFF?

AND YOU KEPT FADING AND GETTING REAL,

AND THEN I HEARD SORT OF SOME MUSIC.

AND THEN YOU'D SAY, UM-

YES?

YOU'D SAY, "WHAT SONG WERE THEY PLAYING, JEFF, DEAR?"

WHAT SONG WERE THEY PLAYING, JEFF, DEAR?

THE SONG THEY PLAYED WHEN I FIRST MET YOU.

REMEMBER?

THEN WHAT DO I SAY?

YOU JUST SAY YES.

BUT YOU WHISPER IT, AND THEN YOU LOOK UP AT ME.

YES.

NO. SOFTER.

Yes.

That's it.

Then what?

THEN I KISS HER.

And what does she say?

SHE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING USUALLY,

BECAUSE I KISS HER AGAIN.

YOU PHONE CHICAGO

AND EXPLAIN THE DEAL TO THEM.

I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TO DO.

YES, J.M.

AND GET THOSE LETTERS OUT.

EXCUSE ME, MR. BLAIR, BUT-

DON'T BOTHER ME NOW. JUST PUT IT DOWN.

BUT DON'T YOU-

JUT PUT IT DOWN. I'LL READ IT LATER.

ALL RIGHT, MR. BLAIR.

THELMA! THELMA!

WHO SENT THIS STUFF HERE?

MANTELLS, MR. BLAIR.

IT WAS ORDERED DELIVERED HERE AND CHARGED TO YOU.

BY WHOM?

SHE'S OUTSIDE, SIR.

THROW HER OUT AND SEND THIS STUFF BACK!

YES, SIR.

I'M SORRY, MR. BLAIR, BUT SHE INSISTS-

YOU BET I DO!

THAT'S ALL, THELMA. THAT'S ALL.

IS THIS ASSORTMENT OF DRY GOODS YOURS?

IT CERTAINLY IS.

IT'S MY TROUSSEAU YOU'RE BUYING FOR ME.

WHO SAID I WAS BUYING IT?

JEFF DID.

PART OF THE DEAL.

IT'S PART OF NOTHING! NOW, YOU PUT THAT DOWN!

I WILL NOT!

YOUNG WOMAN, GIVE ME THAT CLIP.

I'M GOING TO SEND IT BACK.

OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.

OH, YES, I AM!

NOW, COME ON. HAND IT OVER.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

YOUNG WOMAN?

GIVE ME THAT CLIP!

I'LL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND!

YOU GET BACK THERE AND SIT DOWN.

WILL YOU STOP THAT SILLY WALKING AROUND?

THAT CLIP IS GOING BACK, OR I'LL KNOW THE REASON WHY-

IF I HAVE TO SEND YOU BACK WITH IT.

LISTEN, BIG SHOT, I WAS PROMISED THIS TROUSSEAU.

I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SHERMAN'S PROMISES.

MAYBE YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE IF I GO TO YOUR EX-WIFE

AND TELL HER WHAT THIS LITTLE PARTY'S ALL ABOUT.

BELIEVE ME, BROTHER, THAT WILL COST YOU A LOT MORE THAN THIS WILL.

HA HA! NOW, NOW, MY LITTLE FRIEND.

NOW, NOW, WHAT?

YOU KNOW VERY OFTEN THINGS ARE SAID IN HASTE AND AREN'T REALLY MEANT.

WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

DO I TAKE THE TROUSSEAU, OR DO I TALK?

I KNEW YOU WERE A SMART YOUNG LADY

THE MINUTE I LAID EYES ON YOU.

TAKE THE TROUSSEAU.

THANKS, J.M.

AND I'LL JUST TAKE THIS LITTLE CLIP RIGHT WITH ME.

I'LL GIVE MY ADDRESS TO YOUR SECRETARY,

AND YOU CAN SEND THE PACKAGES OVER.

GOOD-BYE-EE.

GET ME SHERMAN ON THE PHONE.

DON'T STOP RINGING UNTIL YOU DO GET HIM-

IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT!

THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?

WHY?

OH, THINGS LIKE THIS JUST DON'T HAPPEN - TO ME, I MEAN.

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER- HOW LONG IS IT? 3 WEEKS?

AND TWO DAYS.

WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW, JEFF?

WHAT? THAT I WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN?

UH-HUH.

ON THE TRAIN.

OH, I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU.

NOT TILL THE OTHER NIGHT.

I WAS FURIOUS WITH MYSELF AT FIRST.

YOU FEEL LIKE THAT NOW?

IN A WAY, I'VE BEEN PRETTY SMUG, I GUESS.

I DIDN'T THINK MUCH OF THE MEN I SAW.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE KNOWN A MAN I FELT

SURE I COULD TRUST AS A FRIEND AND...

IN EVERY WAY.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE TOO POSITIVE.

I AM, THOUGH.

WELL, THAT'S NICE OF YOU, CORNELIA,

BUT-WELL, I-

I JUST NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF THAT WAY BEFORE.

ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN A SKEPTIC.

SITTING IN COURT UP AGAINST PEOPLE'S DECEITS

DIDN'T MAKE ME ANY SOFTER, EITHER.

YOU KNOW THERE AREN'T MANY COMPLETELY HONEST MEN...

OR WOMEN, FOR THAT MATTER.

DON'T YOU AGREE WITH ME, JEFF?

UH...

WELL, SURE.

THERE AREN'T, I GUESS.

I'M AFRAID I LIKE YOU, MR. SHERMAN,

AND I SHOULDN'T, EITHER.

COME IN, DOTTY. THE HOME TEAM IS RAINED OUT.

WHERE IS SHE?

HUH! INCREDIBLE AS IT SOUNDS,

SHERMAN FAILED TO MAKE YARDAGE TONIGHT.

YOU'RE SLIPPING?

OH, JUST DIDN'T PICK THE RIGHT PLAYS, I GUESS.

BEEN WANTING TO CHANGE THAT THING FOR WEEKS.

THERE. THAT'S BETTER, ISN'T IS, HUH?

I BET THAT'S JUST BEEN WORRYING YOU TO DEATH ALL EVENING.

NOT MUCH. SIT DOWN, HONEY, AND RELAX.

WHY WOULDN'T SHE COME?

DOTTY, THE FIRST THING A SMART MAN LEARNS

IS NEVER TO WORRY ABOUT WHY A WOMAN CHANGES HER MIND.

AN OLD CHINESE PROVERB, HUH?

YEAH.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SLIPPING.

NO?

NO. I THINK YOU'RE NUMB FROM THE SHOCK OF FALLING.

OH, HELLO.

WHAT ABOUT A LITTLE TUSSLE WITH CHAPTER 6?

NO, I, UH, THINK I'M GOING FOR A WALK.

CORNELIA, YOU'RE NOT SEEING THAT FELLOW AGAIN TODAY?

OH, WALTER, DEAR, LET'S NOT GO INTO THAT AGAIN.

WELL, NATURALLY, IT'S YOUR OWN BUSINESS,

BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH JUDGMENT TO SEE

THAT HE'S NOT THE SORT TO TRUST.

BUT I'M TIRED OF HAVING MUCH JUDGMENT.

I SPEND 10 MONTHS A YEAR PASSING JUDGMENT ON PEOPLE.

YOU CERTAINLY DIDN'T PICK THE RIGHT TIME TO STOP.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL, LATELY. YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF.

OH, MAYBE I AM AND WASN'T BEFORE.

NOW, IT ISN'T A RENDEZVOUS.

HE'S HARD AT WORK AND DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I'M COMING.

I'M JUST DROPPING IN.

YOU NEVER USED TO DROP IN ON ME

WHEN I WAS WORKING AT THE OFFICE.

OH, YES, I DID, BUT YOU ALWAYS WENT RIGHT ON WORKING.

YOU GOT TO STEP ON IT

IF YOU WANT TO CATCH THAT 4:18 TRAIN BACK, MR. RAOUL.

WAIT FOR ME. I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

BABIES!

OH HO!

YOU'RE GOING TO SEE MR. BLAIR.

OH, YES, YOU ARE!

OH HO! YOU'RE GOING WITH US, TOO.

JEFF?

IT'S ME - CORNELIA.

I JUST DROPPED IN FOR A SEC-

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

HOW DO YOU DO? WHERE'S MR. SHERMAN?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M SORRY.

EXCUSE ME. I'M VERY BUSY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME HE'LL BE BACK-

DON'T TOUCH THAT.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

PUT IT DOWN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE?

THOSE ARE THE STATUES THAT I-

MADAM, WHATEVER THE GAME IS, PLEASE PLAY IT

SOMEPLACES ELSE WITH SOMEBODIES ELSE.

NOW, PLEASE MAKE THE EGRESS.

I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH ARROGANCE. PUT THAT DOWN.

YOU GET RIGHT OUT OF HERE, OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE.

I THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO CALL THE POLICE.

THIS IS MY STUDIO! LOOK.

"ALEXANDER RAOUL, 1941"?

YES. YES. AND THIS AND THIS.

AND THIS ONE AND THIS.

I- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHICH IS MR. SHERMAN'S?

NONE.

YOU BETTER SNAP IT UP IF YOU WANT TO CATCH THAT TRAIN, MR. RAOUL.

DRIVER!

PLEASE, NOW. YOU'RE MAKING ME LATE.

JUST ONE MINUTE.

IS THIS HIS STUDIO?

SURE IS, LADY.

WILL YOU GO NOW, PLEASE?

WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MR. SHERMAN?

MR. SHERMAN-AH! HE'S MY BENEFACTOR,

THE BENEFACTOR OF THE ARTS, TOO.

HE AND MR. BLAIR HAVE DISCOVERED ME.

OH, I TAKE THIS...

AND THIS...

BLAIR...

WHAT BLAIR ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

BLAIR! J.M. BLAIR!

NOW, THERE'S A TRUE FRIEND OF SCULPTURE.

YOU BETTER STEP ON IT, MR. RAOUL.

THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT MAN?

PLEASE, I HAVE NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS.

SOME OTHER TIME. I'M IN A GREAT HURRY.

OH, I'VE ENJOYED BEING HERE.

PERHAPS YOU'LL HAVE ME AGAIN SOME DAY.

REMEMBER ME TO MR. SHERMAN. GOOD-BYE.

YES, THIS IS JUDGE PORTER.

I KNEW IT. I KNEW HE WAS ONE ALL THE TIME-

SHH!

HELLO, JUDGE GRAHAM?

THIS IS CORNELIA PORTER.

THE WHAT CASE?

OH, YES. YES.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'D INTENDED TO WRITE OR CALL YOU.

SOMETHING DID HAPPEN.

MR. BLAIR TELEPHONED A WHILE BACK.

I TOLD HIM IT WAS ABSURD TO TALK OF REMOVING YOU...

I SEE. SCANDAL.

YES. YES.

OH, NO. NO. NOT A THING.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JUDGE.

CORNELIA, I HATE TO SAY THIS-

WELL, DON'T!

OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE AND CONTEMPT

ARE TWO VERY INTERESTING CHARGES.

I'D TAKE THE ONE THAT GIVES HIM THE LONGEST SENTENCE.

I'LL GIVE HIM BOTH!

NOW, WAIT, DARLING.

DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS RUN AWAY WITH YOUR JUDGMENT.

YOU CAN'T CONVICT FOR CONSPIRACY WITHOUT EVIDENCE.

WELL, LET'S GET IT.

UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S DIFFICULT.

WHY, IT'S VERY SIMPLE. JUST GO INTO HIS STUDIO AND GET IT.

OH, SURE!

WALTER, YOU RUN RIGHT DOWN THERE THIS MINUTE-

NO, CORNELIA. WAIT A MINUTE.

A MAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE. YOU KNOW THAT.

I KNOW THAT.

FORCIBLE ENTRY WITHOUT PERMISSION IS A CRIME.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF SUNSET AND SUNRISE, IT'S A FELONY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO COMMIT A NEW CRIME

JUST TO RIGHT AN OLD ONE, DO YOU?

YES, I DO.

I FEEL LIKE BREAKING LAWS AND RULES...

AND HIS SMUG HEAD, IF I HAD IT HERE.

I'LL PUT HIM WHERE HE BELONGS - BEHIND BARS!

MR. SHERMAN IS HERE, SIR.

HELLO, J.M.

HELLO.

HI, DOTTY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED BY ANYBODY, YOU UNDERSTAND?

GLAD YOU CALLED THIS LITTLE POWWOW.

I WAS COMING IN TO SEE YOU, THOUGH, ANYWAY.

I'LL MAKE IT SHORT AND SWEET.

I WANT THIS JUDGE PORTER BUSINESS FINISHED UP TOMORROW NIGHT.

IT'S FINISHED UP NOW.

SHE'S RIGHT, J.M. IT'S ALL FINISHED.

BUT YOU SAID YOU HAD EVERYTHING ARRANGED.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

IT-IT HIT ME ALL OF A SUDDEN.

SHE'S A FINE LADY, J.M.,

AND-WELL, WE CAN'T DO A THING LIKE THIS TO HER-

RUIN HER CAREER.

MONEY ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT.

UH, NO. IT-IT'S ALL OFF.

THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.

BUT YOU'RE WASTING YOUR BREATH.

HE'S SIMPLY GAGA ABOUT THAT FEMALE LAW BOOK.

WELL, THAT SUITS ME.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THIS YOUNG LADY IS GOING TO CLAIM IN OUR SUIT:

ALIENATION OF YOUR MOTH-EATEN AFFECTIONS.

JUDGE PORTER STOLE THEM.

PETTY LARCENY.

WITH WHAT EVIDENCE?

HA! WE'VE GOT ENOUGH. WE DON'T HAVE TO GO ANY FURTHER.

DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH MONEY I'VE POURED INTO THIS THING?

ALL RIGHT. I'LL PAY IT BACK, WITH INTEREST,

IF I HAVE TO WORK FOR YOU FOR 10 YEARS TO DO IT.

YEAH? WELL, YOU WON'T GET THE CHANCE.

YOU STILL THINK YOU'RE GOING TO SMEAR HER WITH SCANDAL, DO YOU?

I'M GOING TO DUNK HER IN IT-LIKE A DOUGHNUT.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

DIDN'T I TELL YOU I WASN'T TO BE DISTURBED?

YES, SIR, BUT THE POLICE ARE HERE.

ALL RIGHT, BUY A COUPLE OF TICKETS AND LET THEM GO.

I'M SORRY, SIR, THE TICKETS ARE FOR YOU AND MR. SHERMAN.

TICKETS FOR WHAT?

CONTEMPT OF COURT. DEPARTMENT NUMBER 6. PORTER.

CONSPIRACY TO OBSTRUCT JUSTICE.

YOU CAN'T ARREST ME LIKE THIS!

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

SURE. YOU'RE THE GUY THAT'S GOING TO TELL IT TO THE JUDGE.

COME ON.

DON'T DO THAT TO ME!

SHE WOULDN'T DO A THINK LIKE THAT.

HONEY, THE FIRST THING A SMART MAN LEARNS

IS NEVER TO WORRY ABOUT WHY A WOMAN CHANGES HER MIND.

Policeman: ALL RIGHT, MR. SHERMAN. COME ON.

THAT'S ALL.

WELL, STEP DOWN! STEP DOWN!

I HAVE NOTHING FURTHER TO OFFER, YOUR HONOR.

I FEEL THAT THE EVIDENCE AND TESTIMONY YOU HAVE JUST HEARD

PROVE BEYOND QUESTION THAT THIS MAN SHERMAN

AND HIS CO-CONSPIRATOR BLAIR KNOWINGLY PLOTTED THE CONTEMPTIBLE ACTION

OF ATTEMPTING TO BESMIRCH AND SLANDER

AN OFFICER OF THE SUPERIOR COURT SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE

OF WRONGFULLY INFLUENCING A JUDGMENT OF THAT COURT.

IN ALL MY EXPERIENCE AS ATTORNEY AND JUDGE ON THE BENCH,

I CAN FRANKLY SAY I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED

A CITIZEN WITH SO LOW A REGARD

FOR THE RESPECT DUE THE COURTS

AND THE ORDINARY RIGHTS OR OTHER PEOPLE.

SO I NOW ASK THAT THE COURT IMPOSE THE SEVEREST PENALTY

ON THIS MAN SHERMAN AND HIS CO-DEFENDANT BLAIR.

LET'S SEE HERE. LET'S SEE.

YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID. GO ON. YOU SAY SOMETHING.

YOUR HONOR, MAY I BE PERMITTED TO POINT OUT-

NO! YOU WAIT A MINUTE.

EVERYBODY HOLD YOUR HORSES WHILE I GET ALL THIS EVIDENCE IN MIND.

VERY WELL DONE, MY DARLING.

J.M...

IT'S ALL SETTLED WITH THE FORMER MRS. BLAIR.

DID YOU PAY HER OFF YET?

YES. THAT'S WHAT MADE ME LATE.

SHE INSISTED ON MY GOING TO THE BANK WITH HER

AND GETTING THE CHECK CASHED.

HA! BURGLAR.

I KNOW, BUT TRY TO LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF IT.

YOU MADE A LUMP SETTLEMENT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ANOTHER CENT OF ALIMONY.

DEFENDANT SHERMAN, IT'S A VERY SERIOUS CHARGE.

I REALIZE THAT, YOUR HONOR.

OH, YOU DO, EH?

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

UH, I HAVEN'T A LAWYER.

UH, I SHOULD LIKE TO REPRESENT MYSELF,

IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH THE COURT.

IT'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT LAW, OF COURSE.

WE'LL HELP YOU. WE'LL HELP YOU.

I SHOULD LIKE TO CALL A WITNESS.

WELL, GO AHEAD AND CALL HIM.

THE HONORABLE CORNELIA PORTER.

NOW WE ARE SUNK.

DON'T WORRY, J.M. DON'T WORRY.

I'LL PUT IN A PLEA FOR LENIENCY.

YOUR NAME, PLEASE.

CORNELIA-

WE WILL DISPENSE WITH ALL THAT!

WE KNOW HER NAME, WHAT SHE DOES, AND WHY SHE'S HERE.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ASK HERE?

NO FORMALITIES?

NO FORMALITIES!

OH. JUST GO AHEAD AND ASK HER, EH?

THAT'S RIGHT! JUST GO AHEAD AND ASK HER.

WELL, THEN...

CORNELIA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

I OBJECT!

I OBJECT TO YOU.

WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT TO THAT QUESTION.

ON WHAT GROUNDS?

IT'S INCOMPETENT, IMMATERIAL, AND IRRELEVANT,

AND THERE'S BEEN NO GROUNDWORK LAID FOR THE QUESTION.

IT'S NOT IRRELEVANT,

AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF GROUNDWORK LAID FOR IT.

Walter: YOUR HONOR, OBJECTED TO ON THE FURTHER GROUNDS

OF CALLING FOR A CONCLUSION BY THE WITNESS

AND NOT TESTIMONY AS TO A FACT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

AFTER ALL, IT COULD BE A FACT.

IT COULD NOT!

I'LL DECIDE THAT! NOW, YOU SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN!

NOW, THEN, WHY IS IT RELEVANT?

IF YOUR HONOR PLEASE...

UH, THERE-THERE'S NO EVIDENCE BEFORE THIS COURT

OF MR. BLAIR OR MYSELF HAVING OBSTRUCTED JUSTICE,

BUT ONLY OF THE INTENTION TO DO SO.

UH, NOW, THEN...

UH, UH, IF THE IMPLICATIONS

OF THE EVIDENCE AND TESTIMONY ARE TRUE,

THEN THE DEFENDANT IS GUILTY

OF ATTEMPTING TO INVOLVE THE WITNESS

IN A SCANDAL TO BESMIRCH HER CHARACTER,

BUT, IF ON THE OTHER HAND,

THE INTENTION WERE HONORABLE,

THEN, UH, WELL, NO SCANDAL COULD HAVE OCCURRED,

AND WHAT COULD BE MORE HONORABLE

THAT THE PRESENT QUESTION

IN THE PRESENCE OF THESE WITNESSES HERE?

JUST A MINUTE! JUST A MINUTE!

HE'S ONLY TALKING FOR HIMSELF!

I'VE GOT LAWYERS HERE. GO ON! SAY SOMETHING!

YES, YES. OF COURSE, J.M.

WE SHOULD LIKE TO HAVE THE RECORD SHOW, YOUR HONOR,

THAT MY CLIENT, MR. BLAIR,

IS NOT BOUND BY WHAT THIS MAN SAYS.

THIS MAN IS DOING ALL RIGHT.

NOW, YOU SIT DOWN. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT, COUNSEL?

ON A PURELY LEGAL BASIS,

THE QUESTION IS NOT PERMISSIBLE

BECAUSE IT CALLS FOR A CONCLUSION BY THE WITNESS.

UNLESS GROUNDWORK HAS BEEN LAID.

CORRECT. UNLESS GROUNDWORK HAS BEEN LAID.

LAY YOUR GROUNDWORK.

THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR. NOW-

ARE YOU TAKING THIS DOWN?

NO, YOUR HONOR.

WELL, TAKE IT! TAKE IT!

YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING ELSE, ARE YOU?

NO.

GO AHEAD.

WHEN DID YOU FIRST CONCLUDE THAT MY INTENTIONS WERE DISHONORABLE?

I ALWAYS KNEW THEY WERE.

YOU'RE UNDER OATH, REMEMBER?

YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT.

I OBJECT TO THIS WHOLE LINE OF QUESTIONING.

IT'S AN INSULT TO THE COURT AND MAKES A FARCE OF THE LAW.

IF IT DOES, I CAN STRIKE IT ALL OUT OF THE RECORDS AFTERWARDS, CAN'T I?

Cornelia: YES.

IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL ALLOW IT. PROCEED.

IF YOU BELIEVED IT WERE MY INTENTION

TO ENSNARE YOUR AFFECTIONS

SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE

OF INVOLVING YOU IN SCANDAL,

THEN WHY, ON THE NIGHT OF JULY 11, THIS YEAR,

AT THE HOUR OF 12:30, DID YOU SAY TO ME

IN THE ESTABLISHMENT KNOWN AS FRANKIE'S CAPE COD CELLAR DE LUXE

THAT YOU LOVED ME?

I OBJECT!

I OBJECT ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT-

IMMATERIAL, INCOMPETENT, AND IRRELEVANT!

RIGHT!

I'M GOING TO HAVE THE RECORD SHOW, COUNSEL,

THAT YOU OBJECT TO EVERY QUESTION FROM HERE ON.

IT CAN BE CONSIDERED AS IF YOU DID MAKE THE OBJECTION.

GO AHEAD. WE'LL HAVE NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS.

SIT DOWN!

IS IT THE TRUTH?

YES, BUT I-

JUST ANSWER YES OR NO.

ARE YOU NOT IN LOVE WITH THE DEFENDANT NOW?

I OBJECT!

HE OBJECTS. PUT IT IN THE RECORD.

YES.

ARE YOU?

THAT'S TOO ABSURD TO DESERVE AN ANSWER.

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE DEFENDANT?

WILL THE WITNESS PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION?

CERTAINLY NOT!

YOU MEAN, CERTAINLY NOT YOU WON'T ANSWER?

YES-I MEAN NO!

I'LL DECIDE THAT!

PLEASE CONFINE YOURSELF TO ANSWERING THE QUESTION.

SIT DOWN. HE'S DOING BETTER THAN YOU ARE. LET HIM ALONE.

NOW, TAKE YOUR TIME AND FRAME YOUR QUESTIONS

SO WE CAN GET TO THE TRUTH HERE.

YES, YOUR HONOR.

IF YOU HAD NOT DISCOVERED

THAT THE-

YOUR HONOR,

WELL YOU PLEASE DIRECT THE WITNESS TO FACE ME?

SHE'S BEING COACHED AN ANSWER BY COUNSEL.

ARE YOU COACHING HER?

ONLY TO THE EXTENT OF URGING HER NOT TO BE INTIMIDATED!

I'LL DECIDE WHO'S INTIMIDATING WHO HERE!

SIT DOWN!

WILL YOU PLEASE LOOK AT HIM WHEN HE ASKS YOU THE QUESTIONS?

WERE YOU EVER, AT ANY TIME,

IN LOVE WITH THE DEFENDANT SHERMAN?

YOU'RE UNDER OATH, REMEMBER.

UH, IN A SENSE. YES.

I SUPPOSE SO.

TO A DEGREE.

TO A DEGREE. I SEE.

AND WOULD THAT DEGREE HAVE BEEN SUFFICIENT

HMM... WHY...

I SUPPOSE SO. YES.

AND NOTHING THE DEFENDANT EVER DID OR SAID TO YOU

IN ANY WAY LED TO THE ALTERING OF THAT FEELING?

WHY, UM...

UM... NO.

SO WHEN YOU SAID A MOMENT AGO

THAT YOU WERE NOT IN LOVE WITH THE DEFENDANT,

WERE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH?

CORNELIA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

NO!

YOU ADMIT YOU WERE TELLING AN UNTRUTH!

YES! NO!

I MEAN-YOUR HONOR,

I WAS SAYING NO TO SOMETHING HE SAID,

BUT I MEAN YES TO WHAT HE ASKED.

YOU KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT ME IN JAIL.

I CERTAINLY DO!

I'M GOING TO PUT YOU IN JAIL IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

HEAR! HEAR! HEAR!

REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE, JUDGE.

IF YOUR HONOR WILL ONLY LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT SHE MEANS.

I AM PERFECTLY AWARE OF WHAT SHE MEANS, COUNSEL!

SIT DOWN!

DID YOU EVER SAY TO THE DEFENDANT SHERMAN

THAT YOU FELT IN YOUR HEART HE WAS TRUSTWORTHY?

YES.

AND DID YOU BELIEVE HIM WHEN YOU SAT ON THE CLIFF

IN THE MOONLIGHT UNDER POINT ST. MARTIN'S LIGHTHOUSE

AND LOOKED AT HIM, AND HE SAID, "DARLING, I ADORE YOU."

DID YOU BELIEVE HIM?

THEN.

NOW, I ASK YOU TO REPEAT TO THE COURT YOUR WORDS AT THAT TIME.

MY WORDS?

YOUR WORDS.

I DON'T REMEMBER.

DOES IT REFRESH YOUR MEMORY IF I ASK YOU

IF IT'S NOT TRUE THAT YOU SAID TO THE DEFENDANT

ONE NIGHT STANDING IN THE SUMMER RAIN

WITH THE SEA WIND BLOWING IN YOUR HAIR

THAT YOU'D NEVER BEFORE KNOWN WHAT IT WAS

TO FEEL REALLY HAPPY INSIDE

AND KNOW THAT IT WOULDN'T END.

AND ISN'T IT A FACT THAT-

YOUR HONOR... I DON'T CARE TO BE QUESTIONED FURTHER.

WELL, THAT'S THE DEFENDANT'S PRIVILEGE.

WELL, THEN LET THE RECORD SHOW

THAT THE COMPLAINING WITNESS REFUSED TO BE CROSS-QUESTIONED BY COUNSEL.

ALL THE OTHER EVIDENCE IS IN.

MAY THE WITNESS BE EXCUSED, PLEASE?

EXCUSED.

BUT, CORNELIA, PLEASE.

I THINK YOU'RE HATEFUL.

I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

LISTEN, CORNELIA!

COME BACK HERE, YOU! I HAVEN'T DECIDED THIS CASE YET!

YEAH, BUT THE COMPLAINING WITNESS HAS WALKED OUT.

THE TESTIMONY HASN'T WALKED OUT, THOUGH. IT'S IN THE RECORD.

IS THAT CORRECT, YOUR HONOR?

CORRECT. COME UP HERE YOU.

COME ON!

STAND ALONGSIDE OF HIM. I DON'T LIKE TO YELL WHEN I MAKE RULINGS.

JEFF SHERMAN, JOSEPH M. BLAIR,

THE COURT FINDS YOU GUILTY OF CONDUCT CONTEMPTUOUS OF THE SUPERIOR COURT.

YOU ACTED REPREHENSIBLY, BOTH OF YOU.

YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

THE JUDGMENT OF THIS COURT IS

THAT YOU BOTH WILL BE CONFINED TO THE COUNTY JAIL

FOR A PERIOD OF-

ONE DAY.

TAKE CHARGE OF THEM, BAILIFF.

ONE DAY!

THIS COURT'S NOW ADJOURNED UNTIL 2:00.

SHOULD HAVE BEEN A YEAR, TWO YEARS,

IF HE WEREN'T SUCH AN OLD FOOL!

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

COUNSEL ADDRESSED DEFENDANT.

SHOULD HAVE BEEN A YEAR, TWO YEARS,

IF HE WEREN'T SUCH AN OLD FOOL.

IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?

IT CERTAINLY IS!

I REALIZE I'M IN CONTEMPT OF COURT,

AND I'M HAPPY TO PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF SAYING IT.

HOW MUCH IS THE FINE?

ONE DAY IN THE COUNTY JAIL. TAKE HIM ALONG, TOO, BAILIFF.

YOUR HONOR, IF YOU DON'T MIND,

I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT CONFERENCE THIS AFTERNOON.

I'LL SERVE MY TIME OVER THE WEEKEND.

I'LL DO THE SAME, YOUR HONOR, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

BETTER FOR ME, TOO.

COME BACK HERE!

COME HERE.

YOU'LL SERVE YOUR TIME NOW, ALL OF YOU. BAILIFF!

BRACELETS.

YES, YOUR HONOR. BRACELETS.

BRACELETS!

WHAT FOR?

ON A CHARGE LIKE THIS?

WHY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

DON'T DO THAT TO ME!

DIDN'T GO SO BAD AFTER ALL.

SAVED MYSELF PLENTY SETTLING WITH ADELE.

OH, MR. BLAIR, I HAVE GOOD NEW FOR YOU.

I RUSHED RIGHT OVER WITH THIS.

I KNEW YOU'D BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

NOW YOU WON'T HAVE TO PAY ANY MORE ALIMONY.

ALIMONY! I JUST SETTLED WITH HER FOR 150,000!

ANOTHER DAY AND I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO PAY A CENT!

SHALL I STOP PAYMENT ON THE CHECK?

NO, YOU CAN'T! SHE'S ALREADY CASHED IT!

LET'S GET OVER TO THE COUNTY JAIL.

DON'T PUSH ME LIKE THAT!

THEY'RE WAITING LUNCH FOR YOU. COME ON.

NO, THANK YOU, JUDGE GRAHAM.

I'D RATHER GO BY MYSELF.

JUST AS YOU LIKE, CORNELIA.

CORNELIA!

SHERMAN, WAIT A MINUTE!

WAIT, CORNELIA!

COME BACK HERE!

STOP A MINUTE! WAIT!

WAIT A MINUTE!

I MEANT WHAT I SAID IN THE COURTROOM

HASN'T SHE CAUSED US ENOUGH TROUBLE?

CORNELIA, YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO ME.

I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU!

I WASN'T GOING THROUGH WITH THIS.

CORNELIA, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,

I'LL SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS HUNTING-

WAIT! MY HEART! I CAN'T RUN LIKE THIS!

ARE YOU KIDDING?

HEY, WAIT!

CORNELIA, LET ME TALK TO YOU!

CORNELIA, LISTEN!

I CAN PROVE I WANT TO MARRY YOU.

CORNELIA!

IT'S A WONDER I WASN'T KILLED!

JEFF!

JEFF, ARE YOU HURT?

I'M OK.

SOMEBODY GET A DOCTOR!

MY HEART WON'T STAND THIS.

OH!

JEFF! JEFF!

ARE YOU HURT?

ARE YOU SURE YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT?

I FEEL WONDERFUL. WONDERFUL!

I CAN'T AFFORD A CARRIAGE

BUT YOU'LL LOOK SWEET UPON THE SEAT

OF A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO

OH!