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1
00:00:00,297 --> 00:00:04,539
America... Land of the free
and home of the brave.
2
00:00:04,609 --> 00:00:07,101
Emphasis on "home."
3
00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:10,399
Because we are the worst at vacations.
4
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:14,939
52% of Americans don't even use
all their vacation days.
5
00:00:15,041 --> 00:00:16,373
We're workaholics.
6
00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:20,386
Our jobs don't necessarily
encourage time away.
7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,026
Well, I'll only be gone for six days.
8
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,414
You won't even miss me.
9
00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:25,649
- Sure. Take your vacation, Dre.
- All right.
10
00:00:25,718 --> 00:00:29,453
Hey, uh, Josh, can you bring me
that Malik fellow's résumé?
11
00:00:29,522 --> 00:00:31,180
The one with the, uh, flashy sweaters
12
00:00:31,258 --> 00:00:32,857
who's desperate
to get a foot in the door.
13
00:00:32,925 --> 00:00:35,726
Hey, don't worry about that.
That has nothing to do with you.
14
00:00:35,795 --> 00:00:37,027
Or does it?
15
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:39,430
Have a great trip, Dre.
16
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,399
But in the Johnson family,
17
00:00:42,468 --> 00:00:45,936
we know how important it is
to have a work-life balance,
18
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:49,106
so we were going to get our vacation.
19
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:50,875
Mm! Bam!
20
00:00:50,943 --> 00:00:53,210
Look at that, baby. Huh?
Too much or not enough? Huh?
21
00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:54,712
Hey, don't... don't worry about it.
22
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,413
I'm bringing it.
23
00:00:56,482 --> 00:00:58,148
Why aren't you packing a bag yet?
24
00:00:58,217 --> 00:01:00,251
Because I have to move 10 surgeries,
25
00:01:00,319 --> 00:01:02,987
find someone to watch the dog,
call the kids' school...
26
00:01:03,089 --> 00:01:05,022
Come on, Bow,
you're off the clock, baby.
27
00:01:05,091 --> 00:01:06,612
- Put a questionable bathing suit
- Never.
28
00:01:06,659 --> 00:01:07,893
in the bag and let's go!
29
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:09,560
It's México.
30
00:01:09,662 --> 00:01:11,896
That's right.
31
00:01:11,998 --> 00:01:13,564
México.
32
00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:18,369
We're talking sun, fun, and relaxation.
33
00:01:18,437 --> 00:01:21,405
Unfortunately,
the plane, ferry, and taxi
34
00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:24,575
to get there almost killed us.
35
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,845
Come on.
36
00:01:27,947 --> 00:01:29,914
We made it.
37
00:01:29,982 --> 00:01:30,981
Bienvenidos.
38
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,616
Johnsons checking in, please.
39
00:01:32,685 --> 00:01:35,152
Can we please go to the pool
to wash off the airplane stink?
40
00:01:35,254 --> 00:01:36,387
Okay, hold on a second.
41
00:01:36,455 --> 00:01:37,488
I want to hit the game room,
42
00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:39,156
play some foosball, hustle some chumps.
43
00:01:39,234 --> 00:01:40,891
I said hold on a second.
44
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,827
Can I get a spa pass while you
guys work out the formalities?
45
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:46,297
I am carrying
a lot of Stevens & Lido stress,
46
00:01:46,365 --> 00:01:49,366
and I need a big-handed Swede
to make me right.
47
00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:52,436
No one is going anywhere
until we check in.
48
00:01:52,538 --> 00:01:53,571
- Hello.
- Hi!
49
00:01:53,639 --> 00:01:54,872
I have your reservation right here.
50
00:01:54,941 --> 00:01:56,240
- Oh, thank you.
- Ohh!
51
00:01:56,309 --> 00:01:58,008
But unfortunately, your rooms
won't be ready till 4:00.
52
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,977
Ohh. Interesting choice to pick a flight
53
00:02:00,046 --> 00:02:02,212
that arrived two hours
before check-in time.
54
00:02:02,315 --> 00:02:04,448
Enough! Okay?!
55
00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:06,283
I cashed in most of my personal days
56
00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:10,068
so we could take this vacation,
and we will enjoy it together!
57
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,189
Now...
58
00:02:12,291 --> 00:02:13,991
let's have some fun, okay?
59
00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:15,059
Okay.
60
00:02:15,161 --> 00:02:17,161
I said, are we gonna have some fun?
61
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,529
- Yes, sir.
- All the fun!
62
00:02:18,631 --> 00:02:19,930
Damn straight.
63
00:02:20,032 --> 00:02:23,233
This is actually the best start
to a vacation we have ever had.
64
00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:27,114
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
65
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:29,106
06x13 - Kid Life Crisis
66
00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:31,175
There's no chairs!
67
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:32,610
Why are there no chairs?
68
00:02:32,712 --> 00:02:34,745
Just look and see
if somebody's getting up.
69
00:02:34,847 --> 00:02:36,146
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh!
70
00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:37,848
There's three. There's three.
Move, move, move. Go.
71
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,416
Three? T-There's six of us.
72
00:02:39,518 --> 00:02:41,585
You shared a womb.
You can share a chair.
73
00:02:41,687 --> 00:02:42,886
Go, go, go!
74
00:02:42,989 --> 00:02:44,154
Goodness.
75
00:02:45,893 --> 00:02:47,651
- Oh, God.
- Ugh.
76
00:02:47,713 --> 00:02:49,093
These chairs are by the bathroom.
77
00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:50,294
I know. It stinks. It's disgusting.
78
00:02:50,396 --> 00:02:52,029
Dad, can you talk to someone?
79
00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,064
Who? The Chair Wizard?
80
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:55,766
All right, you know what?
81
00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:57,434
We're staking claim
right here, all right?
82
00:02:57,536 --> 00:03:00,004
Circle the wagons.
This is now Johnsonville!
83
00:03:00,106 --> 00:03:02,406
- Johnsonville.
- Man, we really need this, Mom,
84
00:03:02,508 --> 00:03:03,774
- don't we?
- Yes.
85
00:03:03,876 --> 00:03:05,743
I mean, you have been stuck
in wall-to-wall surgeries,
86
00:03:05,845 --> 00:03:09,847
and sometimes Stevens & Lido
keeps me till, like, 6:30.
87
00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:12,249
Yeah. Basically the same job.
88
00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:14,151
You know, I am glad you see the hustle.
89
00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:15,719
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, I'm gonna go do a lap.
90
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,122
Oh. So, when are we gonna hit
the resort water park?
91
00:03:18,224 --> 00:03:19,590
What?
92
00:03:19,692 --> 00:03:20,891
We just sat down.
93
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:24,028
But they got an insane slide
called the Lemon Drop.
94
00:03:24,130 --> 00:03:25,462
- It has 32 loops.
- Ooh!
95
00:03:25,564 --> 00:03:27,731
They won't even let you on
if you have a full bladder.
96
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,733
I just carried half of the room
down here.
97
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:30,901
I haven't even had a chance
98
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,870
to make fun
of white people's sunburn yet.
99
00:03:32,972 --> 00:03:34,772
Come on, Dad. Please?
100
00:03:34,874 --> 00:03:37,141
Come on! It's a family vacation!
101
00:03:37,243 --> 00:03:39,043
That's what you do on a family vacation.
102
00:03:39,145 --> 00:03:40,244
It'll be fun!
103
00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,246
Okay! Okay. Give me five minutes,
104
00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:44,081
all right, so I can pick out
my sunburn champs.
105
00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,382
Oh, thank you so much.
106
00:03:45,484 --> 00:03:46,684
You're on the clock.
107
00:03:46,786 --> 00:03:47,951
Come on, Devante.
108
00:03:48,054 --> 00:03:49,353
Let's go.
109
00:03:49,455 --> 00:03:50,854
- Thanks, Diane.
- Mm-hmm.
110
00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:52,356
- Babe.
- Huh?
111
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:53,824
Look at that couple over there
by the stairs.
112
00:03:53,926 --> 00:03:55,225
They're not on the clock.
113
00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:57,961
They're too Black and sexy
to worry about time.
114
00:03:58,064 --> 00:04:01,131
They look like us
during the three seconds
115
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,534
between when we met
and when we had kids.
116
00:04:03,636 --> 00:04:05,936
- That was a great three seconds, babe.
- So good, Dre.
117
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,504
What happened to our Black and sexy?
118
00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:08,582
I don't know.
119
00:04:08,607 --> 00:04:09,973
Now we're just Black and tired.
120
00:04:10,076 --> 00:04:12,743
They look like they're having
such a nice vacation.
121
00:04:12,845 --> 00:04:14,011
You know what?
122
00:04:14,113 --> 00:04:16,180
We could probably get a little
of what they have.
123
00:04:16,282 --> 00:04:17,247
What do you mean?
124
00:04:17,349 --> 00:04:18,615
You know, who says the vacation
125
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:20,584
has to always be about the kids?
126
00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:21,819
- Well, I mean...
- You know what?
127
00:04:21,921 --> 00:04:24,054
We can take them to the nice restaurant.
128
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:26,490
The kids are old enough.
Devante's off the boob.
129
00:04:27,526 --> 00:04:28,792
- You're right.
- Mm.
130
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,561
We are paying for this vacation.
131
00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:32,596
- We should do what we want to do.
- Exactly.
132
00:04:32,698 --> 00:04:35,599
The perfect vacation starts no...
133
00:04:35,701 --> 00:04:38,869
Stand back and watch
the King of Corn Hole
134
00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:40,304
toss his bag.
135
00:04:41,307 --> 00:04:43,107
Ooh!
136
00:04:43,209 --> 00:04:45,242
Looks like the King of Corn Hole
needs to work on his aim.
137
00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:46,944
I'm used to two-pound bags.
138
00:04:47,046 --> 00:04:48,378
I'm so sorry about that.
139
00:04:48,481 --> 00:04:50,581
If you wanted to meet me,
you could've just said "hello."
140
00:04:50,683 --> 00:04:52,182
I'm Lily.
141
00:04:52,284 --> 00:04:53,183
Andre.
142
00:04:53,285 --> 00:04:54,384
So, what are you doing here?
143
00:04:54,487 --> 00:04:56,019
Besides throwing bean bags at strangers?
144
00:04:56,122 --> 00:04:58,789
Well, I work at a pretty intense job
145
00:04:58,891 --> 00:05:00,023
in the ad industry.
146
00:05:00,126 --> 00:05:01,358
You know, grinding.
147
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,193
But, you know, sometimes it's important
148
00:05:03,295 --> 00:05:04,962
to set your e-mail to "out of office,"
149
00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:08,632
kick back, and reward yourself
for all of your successes.
150
00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:10,167
- Our mom and dad brought us here.
- Mm-hmm.
151
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:11,869
Both of those things can be true.
152
00:05:11,971 --> 00:05:14,705
It's okay, I'm here with my family, too.
153
00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:16,140
Maybe we could ditch our families
154
00:05:16,242 --> 00:05:17,307
and meet up at the club later?
155
00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:19,376
I got to check my schedule.
156
00:05:19,478 --> 00:05:21,812
The only thing on your schedule
is dinner with your parents.
157
00:05:21,914 --> 00:05:22,946
Mm.
158
00:05:23,048 --> 00:05:25,349
Well, maybe I'll catch up
with you later, then.
159
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,284
Yeah. You will.
160
00:05:27,386 --> 00:05:30,254
Try not to bean any other girls
between now and then.
161
00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:35,125
Why, Diane?
162
00:05:35,227 --> 00:05:36,260
Why?
163
00:05:36,362 --> 00:05:39,029
It's my vacation, too, Andre.
164
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:42,269
After 10 water slides,
three shave ice runs,
165
00:05:42,339 --> 00:05:45,669
and five minutes where Devante
locked himself in the bathroom,
166
00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:48,472
Bow and I were thrilled to sit down
167
00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:52,409
for a nice, civilized dinner
with the entire family.
168
00:05:52,511 --> 00:05:54,678
Uh, I don't see butter noodles anywhere.
169
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:56,046
- Mm.
- Come on, Jack.
170
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,215
This is a nice place, man.
171
00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,516
Try something new.
172
00:05:59,618 --> 00:06:02,386
I'm just saying... they've got
butter, they've got noodles.
173
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,421
I'm just gonna ask them
to make it off menu.
174
00:06:04,523 --> 00:06:05,622
We can pay the upcharge.
175
00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:07,257
Pshew, pshew.
176
00:06:07,359 --> 00:06:09,359
Why does the piano guy keep playing jazz?
177
00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:11,962
Yo, Elton John!
Do you know Post Malone?!
178
00:06:12,064 --> 00:06:13,430
- Post Malone!
- Hey!
179
00:06:13,532 --> 00:06:17,530
Can we just enjoy this dinner
as a family?
180
00:06:17,616 --> 00:06:20,537
- Yes.
- Welp, it is about that time.
181
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:23,340
I am gonna go meet Lily
at Club Coronado.
182
00:06:23,442 --> 00:06:26,376
She's got daddy issues
and I've got understanding eyes.
183
00:06:26,421 --> 00:06:27,454
No!
184
00:06:27,479 --> 00:06:30,247
Sit your ass down.
185
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:37,221
All we wanted was
one nice family dinner,
186
00:06:37,323 --> 00:06:39,256
and you guys can't even
let us have that.
187
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,965
- We did everything you wanted.
- Everything.
188
00:06:40,993 --> 00:06:42,359
- Water parks.
- Ugh.
189
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,027
- Shaved ice stations.
- Pfft.
190
00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:46,223
Horseback riding on the beach.
191
00:06:46,277 --> 00:06:48,866
Yeah, because family vacations
are about the kids.
192
00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:51,368
- What?
- Come on. You know the score, dawg.
193
00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:52,669
Y'all are terrorists.
194
00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:53,770
And you know what?
195
00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:57,241
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
196
00:06:57,343 --> 00:07:00,777
We are done catering to your demands.
197
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,746
You don't deserve this vacation.
198
00:07:02,848 --> 00:07:04,014
- We do.
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:05,949
Yeah. You kids.
200
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,151
You just don't understand.
201
00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:09,553
Unh-unh.
202
00:07:09,655 --> 00:07:11,488
You are one of them.
203
00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:13,390
And you know
what we're about to do, Junior?
204
00:07:13,492 --> 00:07:16,960
We are dumping
all of your siblings on you
205
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:21,565
so your mom and I can go see
whatever Club Coronado is.
206
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:24,368
Dad I've got to go see about a girl.
207
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,969
- Mom...
- Hey!
208
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,104
Look at me.
209
00:07:28,374 --> 00:07:31,842
You are the parent now.
210
00:07:31,944 --> 00:07:35,812
And as of this moment,
your mom and I are on vacation.
211
00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,982
- How do you like that score, dawg?
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,233
And don't even think about running,
213
00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:42,382
- because we have your passports.
- Yeah.
214
00:07:43,015 --> 00:07:44,851
So, we ditched our kids in favor of
215
00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:48,044
an adult rendezvous at Club Coronado.
216
00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:50,395
- This place is sexy.
- Yeah, it is.
217
00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:52,528
I feel like I'm on The Rock's Instagram.
218
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:56,091
- To us.
- Mm.
219
00:07:56,192 --> 00:07:59,565
To us being out at night
and looking so good.
220
00:07:59,635 --> 00:08:00,604
Mm!
221
00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:03,206
And pretending that we love this mescal.
222
00:08:03,268 --> 00:08:05,217
Oh. Well, speak for yourself.
I do love it.
223
00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:07,371
- Mm. Babe, look.
- Mm?
224
00:08:07,411 --> 00:08:08,769
There's that other
Black couple... you know,
225
00:08:08,846 --> 00:08:11,614
the ones that look like they belong
on the cover of a fitness DVD?
226
00:08:11,716 --> 00:08:14,496
Hey! Black LaLanne! Light-Skin Fonda!
227
00:08:14,551 --> 00:08:15,787
Hey, we're celebrating.
228
00:08:15,858 --> 00:08:17,310
- Come join us.
- Come over!
229
00:08:17,388 --> 00:08:18,334
- All right.
- All right.
230
00:08:18,404 --> 00:08:19,466
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
231
00:08:19,537 --> 00:08:20,550
- How are you?
- How are you?
232
00:08:20,604 --> 00:08:21,518
- All right.
- All right.
233
00:08:21,596 --> 00:08:22,838
- That's a pretty dress. Hi.
- How's it going?
234
00:08:22,907 --> 00:08:25,513
- Doing all right?
- So, what are we celebrating?
235
00:08:25,599 --> 00:08:27,599
- Birthday? Anniversary?
- Nope.
236
00:08:27,852 --> 00:08:29,048
We abandoned our children.
237
00:08:29,103 --> 00:08:30,235
- Yes, we did.
- What?
238
00:08:30,304 --> 00:08:31,446
Just for one night, though.
239
00:08:31,509 --> 00:08:32,837
- Okay.
- Do not call "Dateline."
240
00:08:32,882 --> 00:08:34,963
- Okay, we won't.
- Okay, good.
241
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:36,400
This is my husband. This is Dre Johnson,
242
00:08:36,469 --> 00:08:37,668
- and I am Dr. Rainbow Johnson.
- Hey. How are you?
243
00:08:37,737 --> 00:08:39,360
So nice to meet you.
Tanya and Lewis Chaplin.
244
00:08:39,415 --> 00:08:42,626
So, how did you guys
abandon your children?
245
00:08:42,673 --> 00:08:43,517
Yes.
246
00:08:43,546 --> 00:08:45,273
- We are on a surf trip.
- Mm-hmm.
247
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:46,539
We actually don't have kids.
248
00:08:46,578 --> 00:08:47,609
Oh? Well, you want some?
249
00:08:48,914 --> 00:08:49,926
- We have five,
- Five.
250
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:50,997
and we don't mind giving up a few.
251
00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:52,116
- Maybe three, four.
- Yep.
252
00:08:52,151 --> 00:08:54,028
- Mm, we're gonna pass on taking one of your children.
- Yeah, we're good.
253
00:08:54,053 --> 00:08:55,152
- Really?
- Yeah.
254
00:08:55,221 --> 00:08:56,954
But maybe you guys could help us
255
00:08:57,022 --> 00:08:59,156
finish off this bottle
of Japanese whiskey.
256
00:08:59,225 --> 00:09:00,657
Ohh!
257
00:09:00,726 --> 00:09:02,583
- It is a good one.
- One second, one second.
258
00:09:02,661 --> 00:09:03,865
- Diapers?!
- It's Junior.
259
00:09:03,927 --> 00:09:05,595
Worse than the one on the plane!
260
00:09:05,698 --> 00:09:07,349
Had to use a tamale husk!
261
00:09:08,492 --> 00:09:10,904
- We'll take that bottle.
- Yes! There we go.
262
00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:15,238
Mm. All right.
263
00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:16,340
Cheers.
264
00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:18,012
To Black faces in white spaces.
265
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,066
- There it is.
- That's right.
266
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:21,845
I like that. So, a surfer couple, huh?
267
00:09:21,914 --> 00:09:24,481
Yeah. It, uh, it kind of
became our thing.
268
00:09:24,583 --> 00:09:25,749
- Ohh.
- That's really sweet.
269
00:09:25,818 --> 00:09:27,284
- You know, we have a thing, too.
- Mm-hmm.
270
00:09:27,386 --> 00:09:28,418
Yes, we do.
271
00:09:28,487 --> 00:09:31,154
So, when the kids go to bed,
we get in bed...
272
00:09:31,256 --> 00:09:32,222
Oh.
273
00:09:32,324 --> 00:09:34,458
...and we watch...
274
00:09:34,526 --> 00:09:35,792
"Madam Secretary"...
275
00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:38,195
...until we fall asleep.
276
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:40,998
And to be honest, we haven't
made it through an episode yet,
277
00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:43,548
so we have no idea what
this woman is the secretary of.
278
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,403
That's hilarious.
279
00:09:46,505 --> 00:09:47,504
Oh, man.
280
00:09:47,573 --> 00:09:48,805
Uh, listen, I can't tell you
281
00:09:48,907 --> 00:09:50,507
how happy we are that we met you guys...
282
00:09:50,576 --> 00:09:53,010
- Ohh!
- ...but, uh, we have an early morning.
283
00:09:53,078 --> 00:09:54,077
- No! What?
- What?
284
00:09:54,146 --> 00:09:55,345
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Yeah.
285
00:09:55,414 --> 00:09:57,547
Believe me, there is nothing
like watching the sunrise
286
00:09:57,616 --> 00:09:59,616
from a board 100 yards from shore.
287
00:09:59,685 --> 00:10:03,120
It is like we are the only
two people in the world.
288
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,188
- Mm-hmm.
- Aww.
289
00:10:06,558 --> 00:10:07,991
You guys have a good night. All right?
290
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,926
- So great talking to you.
- Enjoy the sunrise!
291
00:10:09,995 --> 00:10:11,528
Thank you. We will.
292
00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:13,864
- Good night.
- Good night.
293
00:10:13,932 --> 00:10:15,699
- Baby?
- Mm?
294
00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:17,182
I want to learn how to surf.
295
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,002
- Dre...
- Hmm?
296
00:10:19,104 --> 00:10:21,071
- You don't know how to swim.
- I don't.
297
00:10:21,173 --> 00:10:22,873
- You hate the water.
- I do.
298
00:10:22,941 --> 00:10:24,641
You have zero upper-body strength.
299
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,276
Okay, I don't want to learn how to surf,
300
00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:29,112
but I do want what Tanya and Lewis have.
301
00:10:29,181 --> 00:10:32,149
I know, right? Come on. It's so sweet.
302
00:10:32,217 --> 00:10:34,818
- It is.
- To have something that's just for us.
303
00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:36,286
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?
304
00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:38,251
Dre, I want to
watch the sunrise with you.
305
00:10:38,329 --> 00:10:40,149
Baby, we would, if only
306
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:44,161
- it weren't so early in the morning.
- It's so early.
307
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:47,664
♪ Oh, give me the beat, boys,
and free my soul ♪
308
00:10:47,766 --> 00:10:49,066
♪ I wanna get lost... ♪
309
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:50,667
Thanks for being flexible.
310
00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:54,137
I promise karaoke will be
just as fun as Club Coronado.
311
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:55,572
Yeah, no problem.
312
00:10:55,674 --> 00:10:57,574
Are you sure Devante's okay?
It's kind of loud.
313
00:10:58,911 --> 00:11:00,710
Uh, yeah, no, he's... he's fine.
314
00:11:00,779 --> 00:11:02,579
He can... He can sleep through anything.
315
00:11:02,648 --> 00:11:05,549
So... what's your song?
316
00:11:05,617 --> 00:11:07,818
Oh, I-I don't know
if I can get up there alone.
317
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,153
Oh. I got you.
318
00:11:10,222 --> 00:11:12,689
Why don't we, uh, do... "Crazy in Love"?
319
00:11:12,758 --> 00:11:14,091
It's a great duet.
320
00:11:14,159 --> 00:11:16,093
Plus, we'll put
our own little twist on it,
321
00:11:16,161 --> 00:11:17,727
and I'll do all the Beyoncé parts.
322
00:11:18,964 --> 00:11:21,331
Junior. I'm not feeling so good.
323
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,100
Well, get Diane to take you back.
324
00:11:23,202 --> 00:11:24,501
I am working here!
325
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:27,003
She already left. She's worse than I am.
326
00:11:27,072 --> 00:11:28,839
She ralphed in one of the plants.
327
00:11:28,874 --> 00:11:30,841
It's okay if your brother's sick
and you need to go.
328
00:11:30,943 --> 00:11:32,042
Nah, he's fine.
329
00:11:32,111 --> 00:11:34,544
Just start practicing saying "So crazy."
330
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:39,182
Go back to the room
and choke down a ginger ale.
331
00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:40,650
- From the minibar?
- Yes!
332
00:11:40,719 --> 00:11:41,718
Dad'll kill us.
333
00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:42,986
Please take me back.
334
00:11:44,089 --> 00:11:45,388
All right.
335
00:11:46,492 --> 00:11:47,691
You know what?
336
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:50,961
Why don't we, uh, take this back
to my semi-private patio?
337
00:11:51,029 --> 00:11:52,596
- We've got...
- Just find me tomorrow.
338
00:11:53,732 --> 00:11:56,559
What... No, no. I-I can save this.
339
00:11:56,622 --> 00:11:58,889
He's... He's fine.
He's doing... He's doing great.
340
00:12:01,917 --> 00:12:02,936
Jack?
341
00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:04,254
Bow and I finally had
342
00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:07,064
a real vacation moment at Club Coronado,
343
00:12:07,132 --> 00:12:09,399
and the next day,
we tried to stay in it.
344
00:12:09,468 --> 00:12:11,234
Last night was so much fun, Dre.
345
00:12:11,303 --> 00:12:12,669
I don't remember the last time
346
00:12:12,738 --> 00:12:14,304
that I saw you do the Running Man.
347
00:12:14,373 --> 00:12:15,539
- Wow.
- Yeah!
348
00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:16,573
- I did that?
- Ooh!
349
00:12:16,642 --> 00:12:18,241
Oh, well, somebody had some fun.
350
00:12:18,343 --> 00:12:19,776
Oh, we had a ball.
351
00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:21,445
- Here comes the tall one.
- Oh, God.
352
00:12:21,513 --> 00:12:24,414
Guys, I don't think the twins
are getting any better.
353
00:12:24,483 --> 00:12:26,450
Didn't I see Jack at breakfast
this morning?
354
00:12:31,857 --> 00:12:35,058
He ruined $100 worth of eggs.
355
00:12:35,127 --> 00:12:36,226
Pbbbbbbht.
356
00:12:36,295 --> 00:12:37,761
And I checked up on Diane,
357
00:12:37,863 --> 00:12:39,429
and she was too weak to insult me.
358
00:12:39,498 --> 00:12:42,232
Jack and Diane just have a cold.
359
00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:43,200
You got this.
360
00:12:43,268 --> 00:12:44,267
- But...
- No buts!
361
00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:46,303
Junior...
362
00:12:46,405 --> 00:12:48,772
I go to the hospital,
and I work my ass off,
363
00:12:48,841 --> 00:12:50,307
and then I come back home,
364
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:52,576
and I work my ass off for you kids,
365
00:12:52,678 --> 00:12:53,977
but you know what?
366
00:12:54,046 --> 00:12:57,614
My ass is done working itself off.
367
00:12:57,716 --> 00:12:59,449
Damn it, I love you.
368
00:12:59,518 --> 00:13:00,450
- Hey, babe?
- Hmm?
369
00:13:00,519 --> 00:13:01,918
Should we go to the restaurant tonight
370
00:13:01,987 --> 00:13:04,154
and spend stupid amounts
of money on each other?
371
00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:07,190
Seafood tower?
372
00:13:07,259 --> 00:13:08,992
And truffle mac and cheese.
373
00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:10,994
Boom! Sorry, Junior.
You're watching the kids.
374
00:13:11,096 --> 00:13:13,630
Tonight, Daddy's gonna get indigestion.
375
00:13:13,699 --> 00:13:16,266
And Mommy's gonna feed Daddy Tums
376
00:13:16,368 --> 00:13:18,135
like they're grapes.
377
00:13:19,738 --> 00:13:21,872
- Begone!
- Au revoir!
378
00:13:21,974 --> 00:13:25,475
Our romantic adult dinner
did not disappoint.
379
00:13:25,544 --> 00:13:28,512
We were making the most
of our quality time together.
380
00:13:28,614 --> 00:13:30,113
- Oh, hey, babe.
- What?
381
00:13:30,182 --> 00:13:32,149
- Directly behind you...
- Okay.
382
00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:34,851
...there is a sister-wife situation.
383
00:13:34,953 --> 00:13:36,286
- Stop it, Dre.
- Turn around.
384
00:13:36,388 --> 00:13:38,355
Okay. Hold on. Ready?
Right behind, right?
385
00:13:40,359 --> 00:13:42,092
Mm. Oh...
386
00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:43,627
- Mm?
- No.
387
00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:44,794
- What?
- No.
388
00:13:44,897 --> 00:13:46,963
That is a husband, a wife,
and a daughter.
389
00:13:47,032 --> 00:13:50,901
Fathers don't feed daughters
oysters, Bow.
390
00:13:52,037 --> 00:13:53,703
Oh, my God.
391
00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:55,272
Oh, my God.
392
00:13:55,374 --> 00:13:57,174
I'm enjoying you so much right now.
393
00:13:57,242 --> 00:13:59,876
Oh, baby, I know.
This is uncut Bow/Dre magic.
394
00:13:59,978 --> 00:14:01,378
- Yes, it is.
- Ohh.
395
00:14:01,446 --> 00:14:04,047
Makes me want to cut it into
rocks and sell it near a school.
396
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:06,650
- Hey, babe.
- Yeah?
397
00:14:06,752 --> 00:14:08,218
- Let's run away.
- Ooh.
398
00:14:08,287 --> 00:14:10,620
Let's go on one of those trips
we've always planned on going to
399
00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:11,855
but never got around to doing.
400
00:14:11,924 --> 00:14:13,790
You know what? Let's go to Paris.
401
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,493
Yes.
402
00:14:16,562 --> 00:14:17,894
- Oui?
- Oui, oui.
403
00:14:19,164 --> 00:14:21,231
We can plan it
for our next Christmas break.
404
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,365
Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.
405
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:23,967
We could do New Year's Eve
at the Eiffel Tower.
406
00:14:24,036 --> 00:14:25,902
Can you imagine Devante
with a little beret?
407
00:14:25,971 --> 00:14:27,437
Stop it right now. Close every door.
408
00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:28,638
- No. No.
- What?
409
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,073
- Let's go now.
- What?
410
00:14:30,142 --> 00:14:31,775
Because if we plan it,
w-we'll put it off
411
00:14:31,877 --> 00:14:34,077
and keep waiting until Devante's
out of the house.
412
00:14:34,146 --> 00:14:36,046
By then, we'll be my parents' age.
413
00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:39,216
Let's go to Paris next weekend.
414
00:14:39,284 --> 00:14:40,617
Just you and me.
415
00:14:40,719 --> 00:14:43,320
No water slides,
no... no butter noodles,
416
00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:47,123
no negotiating an hour here and there.
417
00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:48,925
Come on, Bow. What do you say?
418
00:14:50,662 --> 00:14:52,028
We can't do that.
419
00:14:52,053 --> 00:14:52,996
What?
420
00:14:53,098 --> 00:14:54,698
Dre, I wish it was that easy,
421
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,733
but we don't have that kind of life.
422
00:14:56,835 --> 00:14:59,202
Yes, we do have that kind of life.
423
00:14:59,304 --> 00:15:01,037
Mm...
424
00:15:01,139 --> 00:15:02,239
no, we don't.
425
00:15:02,341 --> 00:15:04,507
Okay, well, let's make it...
426
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:06,676
Okay. I'm just, uh...
427
00:15:06,778 --> 00:15:07,944
I have a filet for the lady.
428
00:15:08,046 --> 00:15:10,347
- T-Thank you so much. Thank you.
- There you go.
429
00:15:10,449 --> 00:15:11,681
- And for the gentleman...
- You know what?
430
00:15:11,783 --> 00:15:13,550
I've, uh...
431
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:16,820
- I've suddenly lost my appetite.
- Uh...
432
00:15:16,922 --> 00:15:19,404
Uh, please send my French fries
to the pool.
433
00:15:26,755 --> 00:15:28,763
Hello, man-baby.
434
00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:32,221
I'm sorry I left.
435
00:15:33,945 --> 00:15:35,311
How was your steak?
436
00:15:36,915 --> 00:15:38,414
I dropped it on the ground.
437
00:15:39,951 --> 00:15:42,552
And they sent my fries to another pool.
438
00:15:47,092 --> 00:15:50,093
I would love to go to Paris with you.
439
00:15:50,161 --> 00:15:53,062
And I love that you made
such a romantic gesture.
440
00:15:53,131 --> 00:15:54,997
But going away, just the two of us...
441
00:15:55,066 --> 00:15:56,632
it feels selfish.
442
00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:00,636
It...
443
00:16:00,739 --> 00:16:02,839
- We both love our kids.
- Mm-hmm.
444
00:16:02,941 --> 00:16:05,641
And we love spending time all together.
445
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:10,113
But it's not selfish to want
some alone time as a couple.
446
00:16:10,181 --> 00:16:12,648
I know, Dre, but I already deal
with so much guilt
447
00:16:12,717 --> 00:16:14,951
when I'm away from the kids
even if it's for work.
448
00:16:15,053 --> 00:16:16,185
Why?
449
00:16:16,254 --> 00:16:17,854
Our kids need us to work,
450
00:16:17,956 --> 00:16:19,722
and I don't feel guilt because of that.
451
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:21,124
Because you're not a working mother.
452
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,994
Dre, please, try to understand.
453
00:16:25,063 --> 00:16:27,964
When I go to work,
it feels like me time.
454
00:16:28,032 --> 00:16:30,867
So when I spend any other time
away from the kids,
455
00:16:30,935 --> 00:16:34,337
even if it's with you,
it just feels selfish.
456
00:16:34,439 --> 00:16:36,873
Look, I love that after 20 years,
457
00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:38,107
you still get upset
458
00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:41,844
that we don't spend
enough time alone together.
459
00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:43,713
And we will go to Paris.
460
00:16:43,782 --> 00:16:46,749
I just need you to meet me halfway.
461
00:16:46,818 --> 00:16:48,351
Atlanta?
462
00:16:48,453 --> 00:16:49,786
Oh, my God.
463
00:16:49,888 --> 00:16:52,155
Your jokes are so bad.
464
00:16:52,257 --> 00:16:53,923
No, babe, we're gonna go to Paris,
465
00:16:54,025 --> 00:16:55,291
but we got to bring the kids.
466
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,793
And then we can just promise each other
467
00:16:56,895 --> 00:17:01,297
that we're gonna get two dinners alone.
468
00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:02,598
Can the kids fly coach?
469
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,767
I mean, they don't even
have to sit together.
470
00:17:04,836 --> 00:17:07,103
They can all have middle seats,
for all I care.
471
00:17:07,205 --> 00:17:10,006
Okay. Well, then, Paris, here we come.
472
00:17:10,074 --> 00:17:13,609
But in the meantime, why don't
we go back up to the room,
473
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:15,845
slip into something
a little more comfortable...
474
00:17:15,914 --> 00:17:17,613
- Okay.
- ...and...
475
00:17:17,682 --> 00:17:19,015
watch "Madam Secretary"?
476
00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:20,616
Did you know that in this country,
477
00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:23,886
they call it "Señora Gobierna"?
478
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,121
Mm!
479
00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,557
I'm gonna give you a five-second
head start to the room.
480
00:17:27,659 --> 00:17:28,424
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
481
00:17:28,526 --> 00:17:29,586
- Okay.
- Starting now.
482
00:17:29,611 --> 00:17:30,631
Starting now. One...
483
00:17:30,656 --> 00:17:31,588
- Five...
- Mm-hmm.
484
00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:32,455
...four...
485
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,484
- Excuse me, sir.
- ...three...
486
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:34,366
- Excuse me.
- ...two...
487
00:17:34,391 --> 00:17:35,334
- Oh.
- ...one.
488
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:36,933
Too late! I got you!
489
00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:41,704
Whew. Feel like a whole new man.
490
00:17:41,806 --> 00:17:43,639
Thanks for taking
such good care of me, Junior.
491
00:17:47,212 --> 00:17:49,245
I didn't know my eyes could shiver.
492
00:17:49,314 --> 00:17:51,247
Oh, no. You're sick?
493
00:17:51,349 --> 00:17:53,950
You sneezed in my mouth!
494
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,521
Oh, wait, wait, Jack, just...
please, just stay with me.
495
00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:01,424
Eh, put something simple on the TV.
496
00:18:01,493 --> 00:18:03,559
I wonder what Bob and Abishola
are up to.
497
00:18:03,628 --> 00:18:04,927
Well, I would love to,
498
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:07,163
but Diane said the buffet has
unlimited chicken fingers,
499
00:18:07,265 --> 00:18:08,898
so you do the math.
500
00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:10,733
I stayed with you.
501
00:18:10,835 --> 00:18:12,635
I cared for you.
502
00:18:12,704 --> 00:18:16,205
I turned down a moonlit walk
on the beach with Lily
503
00:18:16,307 --> 00:18:18,074
to be by your side!
504
00:18:18,176 --> 00:18:20,076
Well, that's on you, playboy.
505
00:18:20,144 --> 00:18:23,446
Well, eh, before you leave, I mean...
506
00:18:23,548 --> 00:18:24,780
can you at least...
507
00:18:27,085 --> 00:18:29,519
I'm gonna sneeze on his toothbrush.
508
00:18:30,822 --> 00:18:33,556
Most of us don't take enough time away,
509
00:18:33,658 --> 00:18:34,891
which is a shame,
510
00:18:34,959 --> 00:18:36,995
because you can learn
a lot about yourself.
511
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,061
Oh, hey. Johnsons, checking out.
512
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:42,098
Jet Skis and buffets?
I think I found my brand.
513
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,432
I'm this guy now.
514
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:45,902
I'm just glad I talked you out
of getting your hair braided.
515
00:18:48,606 --> 00:18:52,308
I just don't understand why
we couldn't have used that cart.
516
00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:53,576
Andre.
517
00:18:54,546 --> 00:18:56,379
I'm glad I caught you before you left.
518
00:18:56,447 --> 00:18:57,780
I know it didn't work out here,
519
00:18:57,849 --> 00:19:00,082
but maybe we could
get together sometime.
520
00:19:00,151 --> 00:19:01,918
Yeah. I'm... I'm down.
521
00:19:01,986 --> 00:19:03,319
You live in South LA, right?
522
00:19:03,388 --> 00:19:05,221
Yep. Southern Louisiana.
523
00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:08,344
But my mom caught my dad
sexting his periodontist,
524
00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:10,426
so he's taking all of us
to Disneyland next summer.
525
00:19:10,528 --> 00:19:11,627
Really?
526
00:19:11,729 --> 00:19:12,862
Yeah.
527
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,966
Hot Boy Next Summer.
528
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,917
Mm! Let's go.
529
00:19:18,972 --> 00:19:21,504
So, we can surf the 5-foot
swells 10 minutes from here,
530
00:19:21,573 --> 00:19:24,307
but there's 8-foot swells
20 minutes from here.
531
00:19:24,409 --> 00:19:26,475
When we agreed
to make surfing our thing,
532
00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:29,078
the deal was you weren't gonna
get all "Lewis" about it.
533
00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:31,948
I don't know what that means.
Why would you say that?
534
00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:35,384
And what we learned was that
we can have a wonderful time,
535
00:19:35,486 --> 00:19:38,220
both alone and with our kids.
536
00:19:38,323 --> 00:19:40,990
You ready to get back to the grind?
537
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,925
It's not so bad.
538
00:19:43,027 --> 00:19:45,361
Thank you for your stay,
Dr. and Mr. Johnson.
539
00:19:45,463 --> 00:19:47,129
Would you like to purchase
the robes and towels
540
00:19:47,231 --> 00:19:49,065
that the staff reported missing
from your room?
541
00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:52,168
You might want to charge
us for a pair of slippers, too.
542
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:54,170
We also took those.
543
00:19:54,272 --> 00:19:55,771
Hey, hey, hey.
544
00:19:55,873 --> 00:19:56,973
After you, Doctor.
545
00:19:57,075 --> 00:19:58,407
- Oh, you got that?
- Mm-hmm.
546
00:19:58,509 --> 00:19:59,475
Mm.
547
00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:05,276
Welcome back, Dre. Boy, did we miss you.
548
00:20:05,355 --> 00:20:08,829
We had to name a Black character
in an ad we were doing,
549
00:20:08,892 --> 00:20:10,907
and Josh got a little loose with it.
550
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:15,853
Uh... Jerome, Tookie,
and, uh... De'Nickashaw.
551
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,860
I don't know any better.
552
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,518
Hey, how was your trip?
553
00:20:19,596 --> 00:20:21,452
Love hearing about family vacations.
554
00:20:21,515 --> 00:20:23,091
Never got to go on one.
555
00:20:23,124 --> 00:20:25,366
Oh, uh, my family vacation was great.
556
00:20:25,444 --> 00:20:28,690
Yeah, I got to spend some good
quality time with my family.
557
00:20:28,715 --> 00:20:29,798
Good. Nice.
558
00:20:29,823 --> 00:20:31,825
Well, it sounds like
a well-earned break.
559
00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:33,690
Ah, hey! Lucy!
560
00:20:33,761 --> 00:20:36,190
- You work here again?
- Yeah. I'm back.
561
00:20:36,222 --> 00:20:38,859
Yeah. Um, about that.
562
00:20:38,893 --> 00:20:40,694
Now that Dre's here,
563
00:20:40,728 --> 00:20:44,599
we no longer need, um, an "other," so...
564
00:20:44,632 --> 00:20:45,933
Well...
565
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:47,202
lawsuit's back on.
566
00:20:49,569 --> 00:20:51,004
I just have to say,
working with you guys
567
00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:52,496
has been a complete [bleep] disaster,
568
00:20:52,566 --> 00:20:56,386
and I hope you die and have
shallow [bleep] graves [bleep]!
569
00:20:56,436 --> 00:20:57,705
She seems good.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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