All language subtitles for American Dad! - S16E08

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,541 Boar's Head? More like "Bored's Head," right? 2 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,944 I literally said that joke to you yesterday. 3 00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:14,012 Yeah. I'm stealin' it. 4 00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:17,482 Hey, team? 5 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:18,751 Uh, gather round for a sec. 6 00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:19,860 Tommy! Tommy! 7 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,686 I almost sold a sandwich. 8 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,021 - Why didn't you? - I dropped it. 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,158 But I put it aside so we can eat it later, chief. 10 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,359 Okay, Dino. 11 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,093 Tommy and Dino to the end! 12 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,562 Right, right. Okay. 13 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,898 I'm sorry to say that our assistant manager George 14 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,700 - passed away last night. - Who? 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,570 George worked here a long time and loved his work. 16 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:43,041 He even mentioned Sub Hub six times in his suicide note. 17 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,844 Anyway, we need someone to take his place. 18 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,379 - What day did you start? - Tuesday. 19 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,247 - Uh-huh. And you? - Wednesday. 20 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,316 Hayley, looks like you're our new assistant manager. 21 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,518 But it was Wednesday three years ago. 22 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,520 You know we go by day of the week, Chloe. 23 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,056 So, it's basic stuff... time cards, inventory, 24 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,325 taking George's dead body down from the ceiling fan. 25 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,260 Cool. Dino, go get George down. 26 00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:03,462 You got it, Hayley! 27 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,497 Hayley and Dino to the end! 28 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,801 Uh, his hands are tied behind his back. 29 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,735 We sure this is a suicide? 30 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,205 Just do your job! 31 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,076 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 32 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:22,014 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 33 00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:25,017 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 34 00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:29,722 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 35 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,893 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 36 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,629 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 37 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:38,664 Aah! 38 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,168 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 39 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,638 Hey, babe! 40 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,972 Hey, ba... Oh, my God! 41 00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,042 Hayley! Jeff here says you got a promotion. 42 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,845 Is this true or is Jeff playing a dirty little trick on me? 43 00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:54,579 Yes! They made me assistant manager. 44 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,848 Let him go! 45 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,716 Oh, Hayley! 46 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,053 I've been so disappointed in you for so long! 47 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,321 Completely given up on you as a father. 48 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,989 - You what? - Oh, yeah! 49 00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,192 But now that you've turned things around, 50 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,593 I got you a gift. 51 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:09,662 A day planner? 52 00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:11,463 Yeah. And the best part? 53 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,732 I've already filled it out for you. 54 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,534 "Go to work, go home. 55 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,202 Go to work, go home. 56 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,871 - Go to work, go home." - Go to work, go home. 57 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:20,472 - "Go to work, go home." - Go to work, go home. 58 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,274 Welcome to the long march. 59 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,675 Ohh, I envy you. 60 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,410 Just starting out on a job you'll do 61 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,011 for the next 40 years. 62 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:30,482 The turbulent wave of life's joy and despair will become... 63 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,084 a flat line. 64 00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,486 Eeeeeee! 65 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,554 What? 66 00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:38,022 Soon you'll be marching to work, 67 00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:40,158 clockin' in and out, marching home, 68 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,626 over and over and over. 69 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,296 You'll be 30, 40, 50, 60. 70 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,431 Eeeeeee! 71 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,902 The march ends at the grave. 72 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:52,104 It's just a promotion. 73 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:55,173 There's that vacant stare of a fellow marcher. 74 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,577 Aw, man, the march! 75 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,313 Did I make a mistake? 76 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,047 I mean, look, I took the promotion 77 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,049 because, like, future is female, 78 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,986 but what if I get trapped in some monotonous life? 79 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,188 Remember what Dr. Ronson said... 80 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,591 Sometimes your feelings come out more clearly 81 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,192 in free-style rap. 82 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,395 Babe, do you want me to drop a beat? 83 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,730 Maybe you should. 84 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,469 ♪ I wanted a life of experience and freshness ♪ 85 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,405 ♪ Don't know that Sub Hub is the way to get this ♪ 86 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,874 ♪ Jeff Fischer here, comin' on the scene ♪ 87 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:33,745 ♪ I'll support you either way, babe, we're a team ♪ 88 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,148 ♪ All these little bitches can suck my [BLEEP] ♪ 89 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:39,284 ♪ I'll tie Gucci Mane up and beat him with a stick ♪ 90 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,486 Gucci Mane, Imma straight up murder you. 91 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,821 I was here before you, 92 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,756 I'll be here long after you, Gucci Mane. 93 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,959 Gucci Mane, it's Klaus. 94 00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,494 You need to get to the studio right now. 95 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,163 Your girl wants me, Gucci Mane. 96 00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,966 You're getting clowned, Gucci Mane! 97 00:03:57,419 --> 00:04:00,238 That was the worst Uber ride of my life. 98 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,573 It was a nightmare. 99 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,108 How long did he stop at that gas station 100 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,978 - to take a dump? - Which time? 101 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,579 A-And what about that fish dinner 102 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,981 he was picking at the whole time? 103 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,649 He was only eating the bones! 104 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:15,320 "Please let us know how your ride with Ernie was." 105 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,989 - Ha! - One star. 106 00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,323 [BLEEP] him up, Steve. 107 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,192 I-I feel bad. 108 00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:23,862 These guys get fired if their rating falls below 4.6. 109 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,398 I don't want to take fish off his dashboard. 110 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,266 Fine. Give him four stars. 111 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,136 It won't ruin his life, but it will send a message. 112 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,808 Now it's asking how much tip to leave. 113 00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:36,941 Dude, dude, dude! 114 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,111 Type a poop emoji! Do it! 115 00:04:51,615 --> 00:04:52,898 These guys don't march. 116 00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,959 Hayley. No phones at work. 117 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,429 Don't want you thinking of the outside world. 118 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,640 Avocado on that? 119 00:05:14,277 --> 00:05:15,514 Go to work, go home. 120 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,548 Avocado on that? 121 00:05:18,647 --> 00:05:20,519 - Go to work, go home. - Avocado on that? 122 00:05:22,703 --> 00:05:24,656 - Go to work, go home. - Avocado on that? 123 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,659 Go to work, go home. 124 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,727 Avocado on that? 125 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,530 Go to work, go home. 126 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:32,858 Avocado on that? 127 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,867 Go to work, go home. 128 00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:35,734 - Avocado on that? - Go to work, go home. 129 00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,602 - Go to work, go home. - Avocado on that? 130 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:42,407 Aah! 131 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,477 - Avocado... - Aah! 132 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,848 And... done. 133 00:05:51,896 --> 00:05:54,853 Get in. I quit Sub Hub, and now we live in your van. 134 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,459 I did it. I broke free. 135 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,329 Bye-bye, Sub Hub! 136 00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:05,463 Smell ya later, road map! 137 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,664 And who needs keys? 138 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,266 All doors are open. 139 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,204 Babe, how are we gonna pay for stuff? 140 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,273 Your prayers have been answered. 141 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,409 Roger? Have you been here the whole time? 142 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,144 Yeah. Have you not heard me? 143 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:22,948 I've literally been playing music back here the whole time. 144 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,819 I know how you can pay for stuff. 145 00:06:28,259 --> 00:06:30,422 You two can be van lifers. 146 00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:31,557 Then you monetize it. 147 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,091 What? I'm... I'm confused. 148 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,094 He gets it. Van life is huge on Instagram. 149 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,896 People show themselves living in a van, 150 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,964 going to cool places. 151 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,698 They get tons of followers, 152 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,900 and then companies sponsor them 153 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,969 and pay for their sunset-filled lives. 154 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,571 - Sign us up! - What's happening? 155 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,905 Now, you'll need an agent 156 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,974 to find those sponsors and do the deals. 157 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,909 And, of course, I am an agent. 158 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,711 Ugh! But, honestly, honestly, I do not have space 159 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,313 for any new clients right now. 160 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:58,716 Ugh! This is so frustrating because I like you so much. 161 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,051 I didn't want to like you. 162 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,787 Come on. Be our agent. 163 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,121 I don't have the time! 164 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,523 Unnngh! Lea'me alone! 165 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,259 I promised my wife! 166 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,660 It can't be me! 167 00:07:10,171 --> 00:07:11,396 It has to be me. 168 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,664 Damn it, I'm doing it. 169 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,800 Great! This way, we can stay on the road! 170 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,469 All right! What an exciting time for us. 171 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,971 The three friends. 172 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,947 I'm gonna do those deals! 173 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,280 I say this all the time, but I'll say it again... 174 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,016 You can't look too good for a Billy Joel concert. 175 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,884 Don't forget the hat. 176 00:07:38,426 --> 00:07:40,826 I'll call us an Uber. 177 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,694 "Ernie is one minute away." 178 00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:43,762 Ernie? 179 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,563 Is that the driver...? 180 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:46,832 It is. 181 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,233 I'm canceling. 182 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,901 Try Lyft. 183 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,903 "Ernie is one minute away." 184 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,971 Oh, God! 185 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,440 He's on Lyft too! 186 00:07:54,442 --> 00:07:57,709 Why don't I just go on Tinder and find a guy to drive us? 187 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:02,247 Oh! It's him! 188 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,382 He's everywhere! 189 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,517 I better drive. 190 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,519 Mom, why are you on Tinder? 191 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,722 I said I'll drive. 192 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,792 - Oh, God. - Fish! 193 00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:20,198 Feels light. No bones. 194 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,757 _ 195 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,190 It's Ernie! 196 00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:29,141 Back in the house! 197 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,879 - What the hell was that? - I don't know! 198 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,081 That's the first time it's ever happened to me. 199 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,282 Back door! 200 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,751 The back door's locked. 201 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,086 I'll get the key under the mat. 202 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,090 - Mom! - That's the first time that's ever happened. 203 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,892 You gotta believe me! 204 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,897 Is this right? Am I making yoga? 205 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,565 I don't know, babe, but I do know 206 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,702 you're leaving footprints all over the goddamn van! 207 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,372 - Hello? - Hales, sup! 208 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,708 No sponsors yet, but I got irons in the fire. 209 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,710 We're working towards the holy grail... 210 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,311 Açai Incorporated. 211 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,379 Like the berry? 212 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,915 Like the gold mine. It's a superfood. 213 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,384 Throw all your regular food in the trash. 214 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:13,719 Unless it can cure the clap. 215 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:16,321 Because that's what açai did for me. 216 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,724 In 16 hours, I was back on the street, 217 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,126 circulating, just having a good time. 218 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,994 Roger! We need money. 219 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,063 Then you need to make your life brandable. 220 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,465 I need glam shots. 221 00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:30,468 My "Karate Kid" bush! 222 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,070 Eh, this looks scary. 223 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,307 People are going to expect exciting content from our brand. 224 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,912 You need more speed! 225 00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:42,814 Aah! 226 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,751 Go slower in the air. You're blurry. 227 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,354 Wah-aah! 228 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:50,722 Wah! 229 00:09:50,805 --> 00:09:52,157 Whoa! 230 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,759 Aah! 231 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,042 Wah! 232 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,362 Ohh, Jeff, you're gonna love this... 233 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,565 We got it on the first shot. 234 00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,099 That's great, babe. 235 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,034 Remember how I criticized you? 236 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,702 I was wrong. 237 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,978 Hello? 238 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,247 What up?! Time for breakfast. 239 00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:17,916 I suggest some Jon's Green Mill Oats, 240 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,785 'cause they're your first sponsor. 241 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,386 That's super exciting, Roger! 242 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,921 Okay, gotta go. Rhonda! 243 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,856 Where the [BLEEP] are my deals?! 244 00:10:25,387 --> 00:10:27,325 Jeff, get up! We gotta go to work. 245 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,726 I thought we didn't work? 246 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:29,728 We don't. Now get up! 247 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,929 We're gonna be late! 248 00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:46,612 We were once trapped working nine to five. 249 00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:50,982 But now, the only time we worry about is the present. 250 00:10:51,594 --> 00:10:53,551 And our Raymond Roxbee watches 251 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:56,252 always tell us the present time. 252 00:10:56,287 --> 00:10:59,173 Use code "Hayley-Jeff" for 15% off. 253 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,495 Life is fleeting, so make each day special. 254 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,246 Make time for a sunrise. 255 00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:07,050 Make time for a loved one. 256 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,301 Make a permanent mark on your life... 257 00:11:09,303 --> 00:11:11,770 with Cosmo Dry Erase Markers. 258 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,906 Now with orange. 259 00:11:18,273 --> 00:11:19,978 Mama, we're out of food. 260 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,379 Can't we order some delivery? 261 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,649 No. Ernie works for every app. 262 00:11:23,651 --> 00:11:27,719 Now hush up. Dinner's almost ready. 263 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,721 The last stick of gum? 264 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:32,224 But what will we eat on Christmas? 265 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,060 What's up, ya gum-eatin' bastards? 266 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,594 Sorry, I'm just riding high 267 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,130 'cause I hired someone off TaskRabbit 268 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,465 to put together my bookshelf. 269 00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,668 TaskRabbit the app? And he's coming here? 270 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,939 That's right. This boss owns a bookshelf. 271 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,742 A gift from my good friend Gucci Mane. 272 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,144 Who are you friends with? 273 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,811 Being a loser? 274 00:11:54,596 --> 00:11:56,081 Probably. 275 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,750 Hey, who put this couch here? 276 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,153 Tuttle? 277 00:12:01,915 --> 00:12:02,954 Oh, dingdoodle, 278 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,823 this isn't my house. 279 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,831 Babe, Vista Point, two miles. 280 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,032 Should we check it out? 281 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,233 Are you nuts? 282 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,369 We need a shot of us eating calzones 283 00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:19,437 on the Hoover Dam without a care in the world 284 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,506 by sundown! 285 00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:22,574 Now step on it! 286 00:12:24,512 --> 00:12:26,829 Not the brakes! The gas! 287 00:12:26,864 --> 00:12:30,448 No! All we ever do is post and caption and hashtag. 288 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,784 And I'm sick of sniffing markers all the time! 289 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,563 I'm not making you do that. 290 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,189 We need a break! 291 00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:42,127 Wow, this is beautiful. 292 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,329 Right? See what happens 293 00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:45,463 when you get off Instagram for a while? 294 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,065 How did you find this place? 295 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,133 On Instagram. 296 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,936 Thank God for Instagram. 297 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,340 I'm so glad you made me do this. 298 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,275 Made us do this, babe. 299 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,744 Ooh, you know, it's a little chilly. 300 00:12:58,746 --> 00:13:00,678 I'm gonna go snatch my serape. 301 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,480 Snatch away, babe. 302 00:13:04,883 --> 00:13:05,951 What are you doing? 303 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,152 Oh, this? 304 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,287 Just testing... the nature. 305 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,957 Did it test positive for genital lies?! 306 00:13:12,553 --> 00:13:13,820 What up, nomads? 307 00:13:13,855 --> 00:13:16,694 I got three words for you... ah-sigh-ee. 308 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,830 We landed the big sponsorship. 309 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,698 See? It's all paying off. 310 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,235 We can go anywhere and do anything. 311 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,703 Then I want to go home and do nothing! 312 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,505 The whole point of this was to get away 313 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,706 from being a worker drone, 314 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,909 and here you are, working like crazy. 315 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:31,977 This isn't work. 316 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,378 You're lying to yourself. 317 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,981 What are you gonna say next? The sky isn't blue? 318 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,649 Whatever color it is or isn't, 319 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,984 it's the perfect background 320 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,387 for Señor Thomson's Frozen Wontons. 321 00:13:41,389 --> 00:13:43,188 And since you can't see that, 322 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,056 you're no help to me out here. 323 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,258 - Babe... - Sorry, Jeff. 324 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,725 You should go home. 325 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,729 - Oh. - Here. For the drive. 326 00:13:50,731 --> 00:13:51,863 I can't hear you. 327 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,465 Are you asking if I'm sleeping with the pilot? 328 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,267 Lord knows I'm trying. 329 00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,546 Actually, no need to climb up. 330 00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:01,739 You can't get past me. I'm stuck, arms are jelly. 331 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,275 So, Lance, you were right. 332 00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,876 I shouldn't have rode in like this. 333 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,344 I was trying to be a big shot, 334 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,414 and, well, to be honest, I'm in trouble. 335 00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:11,883 But don't panic, Lance. Panicking won't help anybody. 336 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,420 Lance, quick update... I panicked and let go. 337 00:14:14,422 --> 00:14:17,555 So, any solution involving the ladder, well, that's out. 338 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,691 Now we're working on slowing down a free-fall. 339 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:23,695 The tools I have at my disposal are a bullhorn. 340 00:14:30,271 --> 00:14:32,137 Can you lose the headband? 341 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,472 It's screwing up the green screen. 342 00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:35,941 Actually can't. I have a doctor's note. 343 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,076 Whoa-ho! 344 00:14:37,078 --> 00:14:38,877 First trip to the Grand Canyon? 345 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,746 If you're gonna hike down, make sure to bring enough water. 346 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,414 That's how my friend died. 347 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,685 I'm Cameron Smiles, CEO of Açai Incorporated. 348 00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:48,620 - How's it going? - These promos are fun. 349 00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,823 - But I'm excited to get out on the open road. - You're on it! 350 00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,826 With the magic of green screen, you can go anywhere! 351 00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:57,362 Why don't we head to Wacky-kiki Beach? 352 00:14:57,608 --> 00:14:58,897 Mike! Give us Wacky-kiki. 353 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,231 ♪ Surf surfin' ♪ 354 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,366 ♪ Beach Boys, yeah ♪ 355 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,567 I'm the big ca-hoota! 356 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,703 See you on the half pipe, fish tacos! 357 00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:06,772 It looks so good on the monitor! 358 00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:09,641 So we shoot everything in front of the screen? 359 00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,242 I'm never really going anywhere? 360 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,445 How can you say that when you're... 361 00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:15,380 suddenly on the moon! 362 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,982 Give us spacesuits, Mike! 363 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,985 Well, I guess a fake moon beats real Sub Hub. 364 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,320 That's my motto. 365 00:15:21,322 --> 00:15:23,788 So, um, let's say we bring in Jeff. 366 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,858 - But I-I told Jeff to go home. - Good call. 367 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,594 But you're not gonna want new Jeff to go home. 368 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:33,264 Jeff 2.0 is super hot, super punctual, 369 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,333 and best of all? 370 00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:36,135 He's 100% hologram! 371 00:15:37,338 --> 00:15:38,937 Wait, this guy's real? 372 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,140 Mike, we're working on the hologram stuff, right? 373 00:15:41,142 --> 00:15:43,474 Getting closer every day, boss! 374 00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,081 He's almost done. 375 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,350 Why didn't we run? 376 00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:55,086 He went to his car like 10 times to get more tools. 377 00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,121 All finished. 378 00:15:58,156 --> 00:16:01,226 Now to take care of one last thing. 379 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,095 Oh, great, you're done. 380 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,630 Hmm. 381 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,700 And I'm guessing you didn't use this washer 382 00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:11,837 because they gave an extra one by mistake? 383 00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:16,041 Hate to tell you, buddy, but IKEA doesn't make mistakes. 384 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,044 My hands are tied here. 385 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,912 You're getting four stars. 386 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,447 Four stars? 387 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,982 It's just a washer. 388 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,717 Back talk? Three stars. 389 00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,986 They should write about you in Laffy Taffy wrappers, 390 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,321 'cause you're a [BLEEP] joke, bro! 391 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,390 Klaus, I wouldn't... 392 00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:32,591 This is good for us. 393 00:16:32,593 --> 00:16:35,060 I'm gonna eat your bones. 394 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,862 How 'bout you bite my ass? 395 00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:37,896 Two stars. 396 00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,401 The curse is his now. 397 00:16:42,403 --> 00:16:44,203 Slit my throat? 398 00:16:45,167 --> 00:16:47,206 One star. 399 00:16:48,285 --> 00:16:49,674 Uh, what's going on? 400 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,943 Hayley! Something so rad happened. 401 00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:55,080 We signed some new talent, and she and Jeff just gelled. 402 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:58,617 Totally organic. Anyway, she's taking your spot on the account. 403 00:16:58,619 --> 00:17:00,819 What? Wait, you mean my account? 404 00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:02,888 Well, you signed ownership over to us. 405 00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:06,691 But what if I told you we could use you in Brazil? 406 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,827 - Real Brazil. - I'd say sign me up. 407 00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:11,496 No need. You already signed the Brazil Clause. 408 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,031 Actually, we didn't get a signature 409 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,233 on the Brazil Clause, boss. 410 00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:16,968 What?! I need that thing, like, right now! 411 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,504 - I'll still go. - Oh, that'd be perfect. 412 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,839 Mike, you wanna shoot a Brazil Clause 413 00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:22,708 over to the printer? Let's head to the printer. 414 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:24,643 That's where the Brazil Clause'll come out. 415 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,588 This thing's a workhorse. 416 00:17:36,959 --> 00:17:38,282 _ 417 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:43,995 All right! We out here! 418 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:45,664 What a great farm. 419 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,799 I'm gonna get some great shots. 420 00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:52,003 Whoa! I know him. He's a van lifer. 421 00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,538 And so is he. 422 00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:57,208 What the hell is going on here? 423 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,344 Pick berries. 424 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,246 Hashtag slave life. 425 00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,350 Oh, my God. 426 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,552 Is this where Açai Incorporated 427 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,621 sends influencers when they get replaced? 428 00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:11,690 Yes. Now go to work! 429 00:18:11,692 --> 00:18:12,791 Then go home? 430 00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:13,913 No! 431 00:18:14,095 --> 00:18:15,294 Only go to work. 432 00:18:15,296 --> 00:18:16,661 Go to work, go to work. 433 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,429 Go to work, go to work. 434 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,764 Welcome to the short march. 435 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,233 Oh, man, the march! 436 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,975 So hungry. 437 00:18:29,977 --> 00:18:33,345 Ooh, one left. 438 00:18:35,978 --> 00:18:38,073 Aah-ja-ja! 439 00:18:52,366 --> 00:18:55,300 Is this the pile for medical attention? 440 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,703 It's a death trench, dummy. 441 00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,773 This is my trench now. 442 00:19:00,775 --> 00:19:03,375 Hayley! Where are you?! 443 00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:04,442 Jeff? 444 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,723 Hashtag rescue! 445 00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:24,262 Jeff. 446 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,198 Hey... babe. 447 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,666 How did you find me? 448 00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,202 I follow the guy who releases the guard monkeys 449 00:19:30,204 --> 00:19:31,403 on Instagram. 450 00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,872 Thank God for Instagram, right? 451 00:19:33,874 --> 00:19:36,875 No, Jeff. Thank God for you. 452 00:19:36,877 --> 00:19:39,478 You... almost saved me. 453 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,946 I'm so sorry. 454 00:19:47,488 --> 00:19:49,221 Oh, my God. My arm. 455 00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:51,356 Açai juice really is a... 456 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,025 Superfood! 457 00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:56,695 No! 458 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,031 They're drinking the undiluted juice! 459 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,574 Whoa. 460 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:11,710 Whoa! 461 00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:12,878 Aah! 462 00:20:14,048 --> 00:20:15,447 Whoooa! 463 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,699 _ 464 00:20:25,472 --> 00:20:27,059 Let's get the hell outta here! 465 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,395 I love you so much, Jeff! 466 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,731 Superfood! 467 00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:37,436 Go to work, go home. 468 00:20:37,538 --> 00:20:39,404 Go to work, go home. 469 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,073 - Ah! - Superfood. 470 00:20:41,075 --> 00:20:44,276 Jeff, you can't visit me at work until you go back to normal. 471 00:20:44,278 --> 00:20:45,544 Superfood? 472 00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:47,345 You're still holding that bullet? 473 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,748 Just drop it. 474 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,021 Superfood? 475 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,891 Bye! Have a beautiful time! 476 00:21:00,954 --> 00:21:03,010 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 32918

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