All language subtitles for Almost.Paradise.S01E06.HDTV.x264-SVA.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CRYING]

_

Kai, this was in your mother's
hand when she passed.

I am so sorry.

Your mother was our spiritual leader.

We looked to her for guidance,

as one day we will look to you.

When you are ready, of course.

Kai, I'll fine out who did this
and put him away forever.

But this is an opportunity
for you to change

and start a new life.

Take it.

_

[HORN HONKING]

He's gonna keep doing that.

[HORN HONKING]

- [HORN HONKS]
- Come on, guys.

I gotta get to my appointment.
I need my check.

You're a good daughter coming here.

Not good. Guilty.

My mother was the spiritual
leader of our village.

She believed so much in
the power of the old ways.

She fought so hard to
keep tradition alive.

She spent all her time
using that to help people.

But me?

I drank, I stole, ran with gangs.

Classic cries for attention.

You never though about

following in her
footsteps after she died?

I believe in a gun and a badge.

The rest got buried with her.

[HORN HONKING]

And if he honks one more time,

I'm gonna bury him, too.

Let's go.

[CLAPS] Yes.

[RADIO STATIC]

DISPATCH: All cars to
the White Reef Resort.

- Homicide reported.
- Oh, no, no, no.

Hey. You guys done already? That's cool.

Sorry, I just... I hate
cemeteries, you know?

I have this recurring nightmare

where everybody I've ever arrested

crawls out of their graves
and tries to eat my arms.

If you guys can get me to
my appointment quick enough,

I can tell that to my doctor.

We'll drop you off right after
we stop by the White Reef.

Wait, no.

- How's you guys know?
- They text us now.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

ETA ten minutes, White Reef Resort.

ALEX: My name is Alex Walker.
I'm ex-DEA.

I quit the agency because my
friend and partner betrayed me.

One of my first assignments
took me to an isolated beach

right here on this island.

I sold what little I had

and bought myself a gift shop.

Just peace. No stress, no drama.

Boy, was I wrong.

- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

[RADIO CHATTER]

[BRAKES SQUEALING]

Must be some mess in there.

Good. I need something decent.

Ocampo keeps sending me
on these nuisance cases.

- Mm-hmm.
- Last night,

he sent me on a lead that
turned out to be a cow

- tied up to a power line.
- ERNESTO: [CHUCKLES]

You still got paid.

I get any more broke,
I'm going to start having

to give massages to Taiwanese
accountants in the lobby.

- Oh, my God.
- What? No.

I'm not really gonna do that, Kai.

Man, I may have to do that.

- I've hit rock bottom.
- [SIGHS]

Listen. All right, I'll have
dispatch let Dr. Patel know

that we're going to be a little late.

Ten minutes?

[VAN DOOR CLOSES]

15?

Detective.

MAN: Good to see you, sir.

OCAMPO: There he is!

The man. The myth.

Hey, Chief. How you doing?

You still hiding behind
a desk pushing papers?

Do you see a desk anywhere?

I see it right here.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh! Hey, kid.

Huh?

You visit and Ocampo is
the one you see first?

Someone at the hotel tipped him
off. There was a car waiting.

- Ahh. Hard to be the chosen one, hmm?
- [CHUCKLES]

You want the title, take it.

My case load is murder, literally.

I had to book a flight to
get away from the bodies.

KAI: [CHUCKLES]

Someone's watching you.

- Alex?
- Yeah. No, I know.

I just... I dropped a seashell.

Oh. Got it.

Alex Walker, meet César Rabara.

Walker. Kai talks about you a lot.

Oh. All good stuff, I hope.

I call him to vent.

She says you're resourceful.

He's my mentor. We have no secrets.

OCAMPO: César!

You got a minute?

I told the men you'd take a look.

For old time's sake.

Oh, sure.

Coming?

This guy bats a thousand.

I bat a thousand.

Almost a thou... high fours easy.

- Now you've hit bottom.
- Who is this guy?

Making Kai laugh. Kai doesn't laugh.

Rabara caught her mother's
killer 15 years ago.

He get a conviction?

The guy shot himself before
they could arrest him.

Rabara's case was bulletproof.
Got him transferred to Manila.

Drove Ocampo crazy.

He thought the promotion was his.

Where are you going?

To watch Rabara do his stuff.

Come. Maybe you can learn something.

Oh, I'm gonna learn something?

Our victim's a visiting professor.

He's mid-draft in a book about
pre-colonial mystical traditions.

The assailant is local.

Fragments of kaningag, a
cinnamon plant unique to Cebu.

Not present are victim's shoes.

The killer didn't like that an outsider

was poking around the old villages.

The professor's kalangaytotems

were thrown against the wall.

In pre-colonial times,

these birds were everywhere.

Now they're threatened with extinction,

much like the old way of life.

Not that our perp is stuck in the past.

He has one foot firmly in each world.

He removed the bullet.

My guess... wiped all fingerprints.

The killing was execution
style, premeditated.

He wanted to stop whatever our professor

was publishing from getting to press.

The question is why.

Figure that out, you have your killer.

One other thing. He's short.

5'4".

Angle of trajectory.

[APPLAUSE]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Sorry, sorry. Parking meter.

César, you've got to
stay on and work the case,

remind Manila how we
do things on the island.

Chief, it's my time off.

Come on.

- What'll it take?
- Mendoza.

I'll take the case if she's on it.

She doesn't have the experience.

Kai or I'm out.

All right. It's just
the three of us then.

Mendoza, you're on the case.

Thanks for that. I'll put feelers out

for anybody who matches
your description.

- Not yet.
- Why not?

There's one detail I left out in there.

The killer's a cop.

One of us did this?

Meet me at the station in two hours.

Don't talk to anyone.

- Your boy's wrong, and he's way too nice.
- Here we go.

The only people that are that nice
are car salesmen and serial killers.

- You're afraid. That's what this is.
- What?

You think he's gonna solve
this case faster than you can.

- I'm not...
- No, sorry. We are gonna solve it faster.

- That's just...
- What's gonna happen? Yeah.

Go massage a lawyer. I
have police work to do.

It's not lawyer, okay? It's accountant.

And I'm not gonna have to do that.

I'm probably not gonna have to do...

I was wrong. That was the rock bottom.

Ernesto, he's Barbie-dolling her.

Barbie-dolling?

It's when you turn someone's head around

so they see everything backwards,

and then you melt the hair
and make the eyes really big.

You take something nice

and you turn it into something
terrifying and insane.

Don't... the girls on the block
had dolls, I had a lighter.

- Alex, you blew up her last undercover sting.
- I...

- Don't blow this one.
- He's gonna blow it for her, man.

Ocampo's gonna have her chasing

electrocuted pigs for 20 years.

- They were cows.
- Whatever.

The guy's wrong, and the proof...

... is in that room.

[TAPE TEARS]

Let's see what happened.

Professor's writing his book.

Assailant enters.

Scary birds are still there.

- Bang.
- [GUNSHOT]

Hold on. Back up.

The blood.

Pattern's wrong.

Why didn't the blood drip on the carpet?

There's no blood.

Where's the wastebasket?

- Really?
- Just doing a little yoga.

It's called the Happy Turtle.

You have no restraint, do you?

- I do not.
- Why can't you leave anything alone?

- This isn't about me, Kai.
- It's always about you.

- Well, he's got it wrong.
- Maybe you've got it wrong.

- I don't have it wrong.
- Here we go.

Look at the blood pattern.

- And where's the wastebasket?
- Maybe the maid took it.

And just didn't bring it back?

Where are you supposed
to put your Kleenex

- or your murder weapon?
- You are a child.

I'm not... you're the child!

Good comeback.

I'm telling you, man, they got it wrong.

- Maybe. No one bats a thousand.
- Thank you!

The splatter is the key, all right?

If that computer was open
when the professor was shot,

that would have blocked
some of the blood, but it didn't.

It's all there on the wall.

That means the computer was
opened after he was shot.

The killer staged it.

He wanted us to see
what was on the screen

so that we'd go the wrong
way, which Rabara did.

Can you get your hand... can you
get that computer out of evidence?

I don't know. Ocampo gets
territorial when Rabara's around.

Just don't let him see you.

Look, man, if we can
figure this out before them,

we can get Kai back on the right track.

There's a problem with the spatter.

There's evidence of
high impact velocity,

but something is off.

You should do it. You know why?

Closer in height to the killer?

That, and you're a better shot.

But this is checked out to you.
I need to get it reauthorized.

- It doesn't matter.
- It's protocol.

Kai, there's a killer on the
loose. Shoot the damn gun.

Harness a little of that
girl that I used to lock up

in juvie every weekend when she was 14.

- [GUN COCKS, GUNSHOT]
- [BLOOD SPATTERS]

Perfect.

Sometimes you have to let go
a little and trust your gut.

- Is that real blood?
- Always use real blood.

It's more accurate. What do you think?

I think we need to get ahold
of the professor's computer.

[ZIPPER CLOSES]

OCAMPO: Make sure that it
is done as soon as possible.

Alamares, what are you doing?

Making sure everything's logged right.

I heard Manila's paying attention
now that it's Rabara's case.

It's not Rabara's. It's mine.
Manila should know that.

- Got it, boss.
- Stay clear.

- That goes for everyone.
- Yes, sir.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Hey, man.
- Hey. Be careful.

Ocampo's putting barbed
wire around everything.

- You own an iron?
- Yeah, I own an iron. Why?

You always look like
a thrown-out napkin.

How are we gonna make it look like...

like it hasn't been tampered with?

All right.

Let's see what the professor
was working on when he got shot.

"Similar to how the Spanish were
threatened by pre-colonial mythology,

some youth moving from
village to city life

were angry toward old traditions

and aggressive instances

of violent rejection has occurred".

- That's weird.
- It's true.

The Spanish thought the
old ways were witchcraft

when they were really just
about finding a balance

between good and evil.

The thing that really
pissed them off was

the village leaders were women.

That's just stupid.

Your doctor ever bring
up toxic masculinity?

No. Not that history is stupid, man.

That's "Yay, women", okay?

I'm saying the way this is written.

Look at this. Youth "were angry toward"?

Maybe hostile toward. And then
"instances" conjugated in a singular?

There's no way a professor wrote this.

I'm tell you right now.
There's gotta be something else.

There's nothing. No other files.

That's 'cause you're
thinking like a cop.

Or a killer.

You got to think like a professor.

Or better yet, how
about an ex-DEA agent

that has to make his word
count on his dream journal.

You copy, you paste.

Your doctor falls for that?

Nobody wants to read
what's inside my head.

It's like if Stephen King
wrote a romance novel.

When you copy something,
it stays in the clipboard

until you replace it
with something else.

If we want to see what the
professor was working on,

I mean, really working on, all
we have to do is press paste.

"An impression from
evidence gathered in Cebu

will reveal the true killer".

What killer? And what impression?

That's what we gotta find out.

The professor was
working on a murder case.

Hey, subpoena his phone records.

Find out everybody that he interviewed.

Ocampo will never sign off on that.

- We could ask Rabara.
- No, no, no.

We're not going to ask Rabara, okay?

He's just gonna... he's going
to want to do all the interviews

and he's just gonna mess everything up,

and then good luck
getting your evidence then.

That would have more weight if you
didn't just tamper with evidence.

We gotta come at this another way.

Search for all incoming
calls to the island, okay?

Anybody that called
the professor's number.

Ocampo has access from his office.

- Good luck, buddy.
- Yeah.

OCAMPO: Make sure that it's
done as soon as possible.

- Chief?
- Do everything you can.

- Computer's gone.
- What?

CÉSAR: Let's calm down.
I'm sure it's just somewhere.

It has to be somewhere.

You guys request this?

Didn't realize you
had a courier service.

You run a tight ship here.

You know what they say.

What?

That I run a tight ship.

[CHUCKLES]

- You good?
- Yeah, great.

I said stay away from this case.

Sorry, boss, I was stalling.

You said you're the face
of the investigation.

I figured you didn't want them

looking at a key piece
of evidence without you.

Won't happen again.

It better not.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Three, two, one.

[DOOR OPENS]

Mendoza, let me see that laptop.

[DOOR CLOSES]

According to the records,

the professor called
the rental car company,

hotel, hotel, the airline.

- How's Kai?
- Seems tense.

Thank you. Well, that's because
she knows something's wrong.

Nothing Rabara's gonna find is going
to lead them to a Gloria Bautista.

- Who's that?
- Somebody the professor called.

Look it up on your phone. Let me know.

It's Bautista. B-A-U...

I can spell Bautista.

Can you spell orangutan? Hmm?

I'll give you a hint. There's no G.

- There's one G.
- O-R...

Gloria Bautista, age 53.

She lives ten miles from here.

Tomorrow we bring Kai with us.

Why?

It's always better if a woman
interviews another woman.

You mean it takes her away from Rabara.

Exactly.

- [GRUNTING]
- Kai?

Ernesto wants you to
follow a lead with us.

There's no "us".

You're not on this case.

In fact, you're not even on the force.

I know, but I'm trying to
help because I'm thoughtful.

You've never thought about
another person in your life.

Okay.

Sorry, bud. Mind if I cut in?

Listen, Kai, all right?

I'm worried about you.

[GRUNTS]

You don't need to worry about me, Alex.

I'm a big girl.

Besides, I'd rather play
with someone who respects me.

Is that better? Are we cool?

'Cause we got a solid lead.

[GRUNTING]

We have our own leads, thanks.

Yeah, I know you do, all
right? But yours are wrong.

I don't need you to
come in and be the hero.

- I can handle myself.
- I'm not trying to handle you.

[GRUNTING]

Then what are you doing?

I don't know.

- I just got a feeling.
- It's called arrogance.

I'm pretty sure it's something else.

[GRUNTING]

- I know you, Kai.
- You know me?

[GRUNTING]

You have no idea who I am.

When my mother died,

when my mother was murdered,

Rabara gave me something
that no one else could.

Justice.

He let me see that it
was possible to get it.

And to give it. Changed my life.

Gave me a purpose. Made me stronger.

I'm not saying that
you're not strong, okay?

I know that you're strong.

I'm just saying maybe

you're blinded by emotion.

- Blinded?
- Yeah. I...

[GRUNTING]

Then what am I not
seeing? Please tell me.

Other possibilities.

It's called the Angry Frog.

Now come with me. It's one lead.

[GROANS]

- Don't tell me what to do.
- Okay.

You came to this island to
get out of the police business,

so get out.

They couldn't get your shoes
clean, so I bought you new ones.

Oh, how thoughtful.

He's thoughtful, huh?

Guy's a tool.

I don't... I don't know
how he ever solved a crime.

Rabara grew up in the
villages, so he knew everyone.

Applying forensics in a place

usually policed by superstition,
he cleaned house.

Well, there's more to
it than just forensics.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

[DOOR OPENS]

[BRITISH ACCENT] Ms. Bautista.

Professor Thornton.
We spoke on the phone.

This is my research assistant Fidelio.

Fidelio, yeah.

You sounded different on the phone.

[CLEARS THROAT] Well, a
little bit of a head cold.

Apologize for that. Is...
can we step in, please?

It's a lovely place you have here.

Kalangay. Beautiful.

And in remarkable condition.

Well, some of us still
hold on to the old ways.

Mm, a good thing that is, huh?

If not, my work would be impossible.

Ms. Bautista, did your husband believe

in the old ways as
well before he passed?

Professor, why did you come here?

I told you on the phone

I have no interest in talking
about my husband's suicide.

It's been 15 years,

and I just want to forget.

I understand.

But if I may ask,

are you absolutely
convinced it was suicide?

You already asked me that on the phone,

and I answered you.

- Right.
- Please stop torturing me.

I'm sorry.

I need you to leave, please.

I need to lie down.

And, Professor, please
don't call me again.

[DOOR CLOSES]

That kalangay totem, it's almost
identical to the professor's.

Yeah. Suicide in a Mactan
village 15 years ago.

Same year Kai's mother was killed
and her killer committed suicide?

It's too coincidental.

And as you said, the totems match,

which means they were
both from this village.

But what did the
professor want from her?

I don't know yet.

The only thing I'm sure of
is these cases are connected.

We need to see the original case files.

KAI: [SIGHS] It's execution style,

but the detail of the
wound tells us more.

There's no evidence of
anxiety, no drift in aim.

The shot was right through
the middle of the head.

- Which means?
- Which means this guy's killed before.

He's a cop. Could have
been in the line of duty.

I crossed that with
anybody who's trained

in crime scene collection procedure.

- The wiped prints.
- I pulled anyone between 5'3 " and 5'6"

who grew up in a small town

but moved to a metropolitan area.

A foot in both worlds.

Came up with ten suspects.

We need to narrow it down further.

What about motive?

Stop the professor from
publishing the book.

That was just a book.

His theories weren't even new.

We're overlooking something.

What? He's a white guy from England.

The only connection to the material

is that he's been here.

Hang on.

He's been here on
this island for months.

_

So?

He's been looking at
evidence on violence

towards pre-colonial traditions.

Maybe in the process, he stumbled
upon the perp's first murder.

The killer finds out
someone knows his secret,

he wants to take him out.

That's his motivation.

We need to get these guys in here.

- Not yet.
- Why not?

Because if the killer's motivation

is to cover up an old crime,

there's another lead that
just became very important.

What?

Not here. I'll tell you on the way.

[DOOR OPENS, CREAKS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

The murder of Diwata Mendoza.

The last person to check it out
was the professor, a week ago.

Bingo.

He was looking into her murder
and he found something.

Do Rabara and Kai know about this?

Not specifically, but
Kai thinks the assailant

killed the professor
to cover a past crime.

Yeah, like killing her mother.

This is what the professor stumbled on,

this marking right here.

Is that the death blow?

No, maybe part of the struggle.

Struggle with who? Gloria?

[GRUNTING]

I don't think Gloria was strong enough.

Then her husband.

[GRUNTING]

[THUD]

I don't think it was either one of them.

The professor didn't get
an impression, he saw one...

a physical impression,

enough to cause
Diwata's scalp to bruise.

I know this.

- Paper?
- Over here.

This is an unopened receipt pad.

You do actually sell things here?

Just draw it, man.

[PEN CLICKS]

CÉSAR: We make a good team.

- You can't beat history.
- Our history sucks.

- [CHUCKLES]
- It's pain and death.

- Oh.
- Screw our history.

You know, I spent so much time

resenting my mother
for never being around.

She was always going
from house to house,

one crisis to another.

Some of them spiritual,
all of them crazy.

Or at least that's what I thought.

But now I know what it really was.

She just really loved her people.

She just wanted them to feel safe,

whatever that looked like.

You know, she just... she
just couldn't help herself.

- She was almost like a...
- A cop.

Yeah. Hey, thank you
for sticking around.

It's nice to know there's
one person on my side.

Just try to get rid of me.

- Alex, you know what this is?
- Yeah.

Kai's ring.

She left this mark on me
when we were sparring.

We're supposed to believe
Kai killed her own mother?

No.

But somebody wants us to believe that.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[LINE RINGING]

- Come on.
- [PHONE VIBRATING]

_

- [PHONE BEEPS]
- Who's that?

No one important.

[CALL ENGAGE TONE]

She's not picking up.

This is not good, man. It's not good.

Has anyone seen Mendoza?

Uh, she left with Rabara.

Do you know where they went?

No idea.

[KNOCKS ON GLASS]

This is all the evidence
that points to the killer.

Alex, Kai fits all of these.

Yeah, so does Rabara. Look at this.

That was taken 16 years ago.

16 years ago?

That's a year before
Kai's mother was killed.

Look at Rabara's hand.

- It's Kai's ring.
- No. It's his.

When Kai's mother was killed,

the killer took all of her jewelry.

The only piece they found

was the ring she was
holding in her hand,

Everybody assumes it was
hers. What if it wasn't?

What if she grabbed it while
she was fighting for her life?

[GRUNTING]

Rabara killed Kai's mother.

Yeah, and he's gonna kill Kai.

I know where.

I don't understand.
What are we doing here?

This is the lead.

This is my mother's cemetery.

Trust me.

Rabara killed Kai's mother,

framed Gloria Bautista's husband,

- then made it look like a suicide.
- Yeah, exactly.

But why did he kill Kai's
mother in the first place?

She figured out he was framing people.

That's how he bats a thousand, huh?

You make up a crime and you
blame it on somebody else.

That's why Ocampo was going
through all of his past cases.

He's always known something stinks.

The professor saw a picture of
the ring and he pieced it together.

Rabara had to take him out or he
would have gone public with it.

But the only problem with that
is you create another loose end.

But if he cleans that up,
then he's in the clear forever.

But that means you have
to get another person

to take the fall for three murders.

- Kai.
- Yeah, he's gonna frame her.

And he's gonna kill her.

Someone's playing with
us. I'm going back.

No, no, no.

No. This is a joke.

Where did that lead come from?

Did Alex send this to you?

I bet you it was Ocampo.
He's doing it again.

Come on. Do you see any cow anywhere?

A cow?

In a power line? Remember?

I didn't tell you about that.

Sure you did.

[GUN COCKS]

You called in that lead.

You made sure I was alone
when the professor was killed

with no alibi.

You brought the actual
gun to the firing range

and made sure I was the
only one who touched it.

You collected his actual
blood from the crime scene

and put it in a dummy's head

just so you could get the
DNA evidence on my shoes.

You're framing me for his murder.

Well done, Kai. I knew
you'd figure it out,

though it took you longer
than I thought it would.

You know what your problem is?

You want too badly to believe in things.

You're like your mother that way.

Know what your problem is?

You stand too close.

[GRUNTING]

Now that's the Kai I remember.

[GRUNTING, YELLING]

I missed this rage.

Nice to see it come out and play again.

It's too bad you can't control it.

It's going to get you killed some day.

[GRUNTING, SHOUTING]

[SCREAMING]

You made me trust you.

You made me think you believed in me!

And the worst part is

you made Alex right!

[GUN COCKS]

Don't move.

Over there.

Over there.

- [SIREN WAILS]
- The cemetery.

He's going to make it
look like a suicide.

Why would Kai kill herself?

Guilt over her mother, you know?

I mean, it's a believable story.

She kills the professor to
keep him from exposing her.

An old friend comes into town

kicking up all these
feelings of remorse.

Everybody's seen her acting strange,

so she ends it all,

alone, in the only place
that she can't escape.

It's perfect. Except for one thing.

She's not alone.

Kneel.

RABARA: Diwata Mendoza.

How I miss her judgmental stare.

You know what the irony is?

Your mother and I were
in the same business,

ridding the world of evil.

The only difference is I created mine.

You'll never get away with this.

Get away with it? I'll
be decorated for it.

Don't be so sure.

Why me?

You were my friend.

You were my family!

Why would you do this?

Because he killed your mother.

And he's gonna frame you for it, too.

No.

No one would ever
believe I would do that.

Everybody knew you hated her.

I didn't hate her!

Maybe you don't now, but I was there.

Remember? You made her life miserable.

If I hadn't killed her, you would have.

Kai, don't.

Kai, put the gun down.

When I was 15,

he told me he would give me justice.

Now he can.

Yeah, but that isn't you.
You're not a murderer.

Maybe I am. I don't know anymore.

You have no idea

what it's like to be stabbed in the back

by the one person you trust.

Yeah, I do.

And betrayal eats you alive,

but you can recover.

You pull that trigger,

and there is no coming back,

and you can trust me on that.

You become someone else.

Yeah? Who is that?

Me.

Look, I've made bad
choices, bad decisions.

I've let people down that cared
about me, that depended on me,

but that is not you, all right?

And you know that.
Ernesto and I know that.

Your mother knew that.

So, please, huh?

Put the gun down.

Let's lock this guy up
and throw away the key.

What do you say?

KAI: You have the
right to remain silent.

- You're weak.
- [GRUNTING]

I said silent!

Book him.

Love to.

I've been waiting 20 years to do this.

Lock him up.

Why doesn't this feel like a victory?

Maybe a victory is somewhere else.

I knew he didn't do it.

He loved your mother.

I loved your mother.

She was very important to all of us.

Your smile reminds me of her.

Thank you.

I guess we're both victims here.

Not anymore.

No, not anymore.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SNIFFLES]

Mom, I'm gonna make
you proud. You'll see.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

I wish you could have seen this
island before all the developments.

I did.

It was a special place.

Still is a special place,

even under all the mega
resorts and the nightclubs...

and the memes.

A meme's a thing, not a place.

Man, no wonder no one
will drive me there.

Speaking of which,

how about giving me a
ride to my appointment?

How about I call you a cab?

- Call me a cab?
- Yeah.

After I talked you off a ledge?

You'd be a murderer right
now if it wasn't for me, huh?

Let me explain to you something
about human interaction, okay?

When someone gets you
out of the electric chair,

you're obligated to give them a ride

wherever they want to go
for, like, a month.

- Why don't you just buy a car?
- 'Cause I can't afford a car, okay?

I'm rubbing attorneys, remember?

KAI: You own a gift shop, Alex.

ALEX: Yeah, well, come in
and buy something, Kai.

I got snowglobes, man.

I got suntan oil.