All language subtitles for What A Shitty Day

��� Subs OCR'd and fixed by DJILIK ���

- Mr. Chanois, I don't understand.
- What don't you understand, Mr. Zucker ?

We're working on this policy for 3 months,
we don't move on.

Mr. Zucker, we made all the changes
you requested !

Not at all, it's missing suspensive
clauses and it's full of errors.

WHAT A SHITTY DAY

Listen to this :

"The insured must provide a
meteorological certificate,"

"stating that at the time of
the accident, the wind speed"

"was in excess of 60 mph.
It's ludicrous ! "

- It's a standard clause.
- Well, take it out.

Final point, page 36,
5th paragraph. Are you there ?

- Where ?
- Page 36 ! Not paying attention ?

No, I'm following.
Page...36.

Can you tell me why
paragraph 4 was deleted ?

- No, but I'll find out.
- You'd better.

I'll bring you the finalized
policy in 2 hours.

I have a busy day,
I'll come by.

- Around what time ?
- Dunno, I'll call you.

Yes sir.

If you want to keep my business,
it has to be today.

Of course, it'll be today.

I'll make reservations
and pick you up at Orly.

See you both later.

Shit !

Shit !

Mr Zucker ? Oh, it's you.

I need to talk to you too.
I love you, marry me !

- How about it ?
- Marc, are you crazy ?

About you !
If you want to marry me,

turn around and kiss me.

- Can't you cancel tonight ?
- They're in Paris once a year.

And it has to be tonight...

- It's my birthday.
- Your dad's a real treat.

I'll call the Pr� Catelan
and say we'll be four.

Don't bother,
my dad won't meet you.

He has to, so I can
ask for your hand in marrriage.

That's too much all at once.

You mean he doesn't know
we live together ?

No.

Dammit, Sabine !

I didn't know you'd ask me
to marry you.

The less they know,
the less they'll bug me.

I understand.

Tell you what.

Take the Beemer to the airport,
bring them to the restaurant,

and I'll be there,
the perfect son-in-law

It'll go fine !

No time !

See you !

How are you doing ?

Some idiot's blocking
the driveway again !

I can't be on idiot patrol.
I'm the concierge.

Try anyway, Gilou.

Avoiding me, thief ?

Con artist !

- Hi Gis�le,
- Hi Mr Chanois.

Mr Lemarchand wants
you to call him back.

Later. If Mr Zucker calls,
put him right trough.

- What's the time ?
- 9:35.

Already ?

Should've said it was earlier.

Gis�le !

Shit !

- Again, Gis�le !
- What did I do ?

Is Louise in ?

It's not my fault,
she's in her office !

Can't you knock ?

The Zucker policy is soaked !
It's not for Cousteau !

Go look in my office.

What I can tell you,,
there must be a leak.

Nice teamwork ! Will you call
a plumber or do I have to ?

- I'll handle it.
- Thank you.

Can't you knock ?

Stinks in here !

It's a new product made with
placenta and royal jelly.

Expensive and Swiss.

I think it's working.
Isn't it thicker up there ?

No, greasier. Concentrate
on the Zucker policy instead.

You screwed up the
suspensive clauses.

Forget your hair,
he'll be here very soon.

Zucker's a pain !
We've rewritten his policy 20 times !

He's worth 30 millions,
be nice to him.

- What's your problem, today ?
- I'm irritated.

You have plaster
on your back.

I'm in love.

So, Louise ?

I can't find a leak. Are you sure
it's not from the plant ?

I don't stand on my
desk to water my yucca !

- So you say.
- Yes I do !

And the paintings
are always crooked !

Yeah, we'll get someone in.

Mr Zucker ?
Oh, it's the garage.

The Spitfire's ready ? Great !

You're the expert !

Exactly !

I met my fianc�e
because of that car.

You're telling me !

You said it !

Yeah, life's funny that way...

Of course !

I'll be right there.

Mr Chanois !

Mr Zucker, Mr Chanois's not in.
I just saw him leave.

You're in my seat.

- No letters from the girl ?
- What's it to you?

- Everyone makes fun of you.
- Who ?

You're lucky you screwed her,
what more do you want ?

- To marry her.
- Careful what you wish for.

She's out of your league !
She had a fever one night,

you made a little house call
and that was that.

Ingrid's not like that.
She's romantic.

That why she threw
you out in the buff ?

It was a fantastic night,
I was a stud.

- You were a flop.
- What ?

Nothing !

Mr Zucker ?

Sabine !
Hi honey !

I had a fender bender.

I got distracted and missed the light,
nothing serious.

Shit !

Son of a bitch !

You smashed my taillights !

Move your sissy car,
princess.

Yes, of course...

No harm done.

Sorry !

Turned out all right, I needed a plumber,
and he gave me his card.

Can you have lunch with me ?
We need to talk.

- I'm worried about tonight.
- I'm not !

It'll go fine !
I have no time for lunch.

I have to finish the Zucker policy.
What's the time ?

12:15. Can I drive you to work ?

- I can't...
- It's just more practical.

Yeah, you're right.

It's more practical.

You're right, because otherwise,

I'd have to go out again.

- I love you !
- Mee too !

- Hello !
- Wrong door, this is #36.

- So ?
- Soup kitchen's next door.

They should have a sign.

Does Mr Chanois
still work here ?

Mr Chanois? Sorry,
I thought you were...

With the recession going on,
you just never know.

- Is he here ?
- Who ?

Mr Chanois.

Sorry again ! Mr Chanois is out.
Do you have an appointment ?

Yes.

For what time ?

- He said to show up any time.
- Really ?

Have a seat,
he wont be long.

- No, I'll come back.
- I'll tell him you were here.

Don't tell him anything,
I'll be back, thanks.

In a hurry with your sissy car ?

- Did Mr Zucker call ?
- No.

- Not since last time.
- Since when ?

When you left.

- What did he say ?
- He'd call back later.

Why are you crying ?
I didn't yell at you.

- No, Louise did.
- Problem with her insuline ?

No, Louise said the huge
phone bill was my fault.

She said I was making
personal calls !

I had to call my brother-in-law,
in the hospital !

He was full of tubes,
and I could hardly hear him !

Come on, Gis�le,
settle down.

Quit sobbing.

- I'll talk to Louise.
- She's in her office.

I don't mean right now.
Calm down.

Sit down and wipe your face.

It's all over.

Thanks !

- Keep it.
- Thank you, Mr Chanois.

My pleasure.

What's the time ?

2:02.

Did you give him
my cell phone number ?

- Who ?
- Mr Zucker !

I didn't think it was right.

Unbelievable !

I bought a cell phone
so I could be reached easily !

It's fast and efficient,
but you have to give out my number.

- Understand ?
- Yes, I understand.

It's not the end of the world !

A woman came by to see you.

- Did she have an appointment ?
- Yes !

Stop it, or you'll
get dehydrated.

What time did she come by ?
Wipe your face...

She said you could come by...

No, she said you said
she could come by anytime.

- Did she leave her name ?
- No.

Who knows who that could be ?

Excuse me... Wipe your face.

What are you doing, Gilou ?

- Probing.
- Not now, please !

Louise says there's
a leak in the celling.

Yeah, I'm always finding water
on my desk and on the carpet.

The chick upstairs
had her bathroom redone.

You're right under the U-bend.
If it's not tight, it leaks.

Look, it falls right off.

It crumbles !

I'm not looking to expand !
If the ceiling were wet,

- there'd be a ring.
- No, it's the opposite.

Wet plaster only leaves
a ring when it starts to dry.

Same thing for stains.

The ring appears after the stain.
No stain, no ring.

Follow me ?

It's interesting
up to a point

It bears thinking about,
but I have no time.

Thanks Gilou,
I have work to do.

Shit !

It's just plastic.

- It was a present.
- For someone else ?

- No, for me.
- Then, that's OK.

People also freak out when
they see moths flying around.

Spraying and mothballs
do nothing, it's the larvae.

I'm sure.

When they're flying
it's already too late.

I'm sure...

Gilou !

Maurice ?

No, Mrs Pelletier,
it's not maurice.

If it's really screwed up,
it could cave in anytime.

Then you'll get an eyeful
of that hot babe taking a shower.

Yeah leave me alone, I'm busy.

I can see that.

Why are you here ?

I'm looking for
Mr. Chanois's leak.

Check this out, Marc.

- No time.
- You'll get a kick out of it.

How much more
fun could I have?

Some asshole parked
in your spot again.

You showed him ! I'd love to be there
when he gets back !

NO PARKING.

Won't see that sissy car
again anytime soon.

That sissy car is my birthday
present for Sabine.

Sorry !

Could you hold for a moment ?

Mr Chanois ! Mr Pernod !

Mr Zucker, I just saw Mr Chanois
leave the office.

No, I'm not putting you on.

I'm like that with everyone.

- What's going on, Gis�le ?
- It's not my fault !

- Think you're in the circus ?
- No, of course not !

- Take that off.
- Right away...

Take what off exactly ?

That idiot makeup.
We're a business, not a cabaret.

When Mr Dev�ze gets back,
I'll have some lulus to tell.

- Do you have these endorsements ?
- In triplicate.

- Bring me them.
- Right away !

- There's a bit left.
- Can't see it.

Look, right here.

If you get right down,
you can see a tiny bit.

It's just a hair.
Want it ?

- Go over it one more time.
- No problem.

With a cotton cloth or a chamois.
Synthetics scratch.

Think he works
his woman over like that ?

Bye !

- Hi ! Have a good trip ?
- Yes, thanks Gilou.

The insurance agent on the 4th
claims you have a leak.

- A leak ?
- Water pours into their office.

Might be from the U-bend.
Next time you take a bath,

call me and i'll take a look.

I've been gone 2 weeks,
how could it be me ?

Didn't think of that.

Why'd you throw
out my letters ?

Drop it, Bernard, there's
nothing more to say.

- It was over before it started.
- I was a stud.

- Is it another guy ?
- No.

Why the low-cut blouse ?
For some guy ?

Stop it, Bernard.

- Don't touch me.
- Listen !

I don't want to see you again !

Who is it ?

- Stop it !
- Is that you, Maurice ?

If I find him,
I'll kick his ass !

I love you, get it ?

- Maurice ?
- Shut up, old bag !

- It's Ok, Mrs Pelletier !
- You, be nice and pipe down.

- Want me to rip you in half ?
- No point getting mad.

What do you know ?
I find it quite useful.

I meant nothing by it.

Put him through.

Mr Zucker,
I've been expecting your call.

What ? I was here,
working on your policy.

I've been here.
The receptionist's kind of...

An airhead ?
That's good, Mr Zucker.

Perfect description
of the receptionist.

I'm at your service,
Mr Zucker.

Whatever time you like.

Late afternoon's good.

Ok, but let's not make it too late.

Yes, early late.

No, I just caught my finger.

In the drawer.

What was that ?

Must be union-made ?

That's a good one !
You're a funny guy !

Yes, Mr Zucker,
see you later.

Beat it !

- Filthy birds ! Flying rats !
- That you, Maurice ?

It's covered in it !

That's Mrs Pelletier for you.

The Beemer I don't mind,
but this is a present.

- It's illegal to feed pigeons !
- It's her only pleasure.

Since her husband died,
she hasn't been all there.

Yeah, but still.

She always thinks hear dead son
Maurice is coming to visit.

- She's losing it.
- It's sad, yet disgusting.

It's shorter than the Beemer,

just back it up a smidge.

Or a lot, this stuff sprays.

Shit, my keys !
Gis�le !

Maurice ?

If I were here,
I'd shoot myself.

Not a word.

Did you call me ?

Throw me the Spitfire keys.

- The what ?
- My car keys !

On my desk.

I got used to it
a long time ago.

Makes you want to go wash.

It stinks ! Reminds me of
Mr Pernod's hair lotion.

Mr Zucker's on the phone,

- What should I say ?
- Tell him I'm...I don't know.

- In the john ?
- No, Gis�le !

Tell him...

...I'm with Mr Spitfire from New-York
and I'll call him back.

Right away.

First the keys !

Yes.

- Shoot !
- What's your problem ?

Mind your manners !

I knew it !

Make a copy.

You can't be serious,
that'd be too easy.

I hope the guy's home.

He's not going anywhere.

I'm sorry !
I didn't mean to, I swear !

I know, or you'd be
out of the window too.

Stop crying, for crissakes !
You're making me homicidal.

Calm down and give me
your hands.

Breathe with me.

That's it.

Now that you're calm,
what did Mr Zucker want ?

I didn't ask.

I think we both need
to breath a little more.

Yes, Mr Chanois.
I think we both need
to breath a little more.

Yes, Mr Chanois.

- Are you family ?
- No, from the 4th floor.

Yes, I remember you.

Thanks for coming.

- Were you close to my uncle ?
- Not at all !

- Stop that blubbering !
- What ?

Not you, her.

- We're here for the keys.
- You have the basement keys !

- I just need my car keys.
- Really ?

You lent your car to my uncle ?

No, my car keys fell
right onto your ledge.

It was my fault !
I have no luck !

Go upstairs and make
a ball out of paper.

- A ball ?
- A big one, and hurry.

Yes, sir.

Sorry, that's me.

- Mr. Zucker ?
- No, it's me.

Hi honey !

- Dad called, there's a hitch.
- They're not coming ?

They are, but we have to eat
at 8 because of his ulcer.

That's fine.
What's the time ?

3:00.

- Thanks.
- Who's that ?

I'm in a meeting.

I'll let you go.
This is the best day of my life.

The best day of my life, too.

I miss you !

My fianc�e.

Me too !

We're in love.

Got them !

- Looking for something Mr. Pernod ?
- No.

Yes...how shall I put it ?

I thought Mr. Dev�re might have
some toilet paper stashed away.

- It's locked up in my office
- What for ?

Mr Dev�ze says toilet paper
consumption's out of control.

That bad ?

From now on,
I'm to hand it as needed.

Come with me.

- How much do you need ?
- Hard to say in advance.

You're chewing gum ?

- No, it's paper.
- Not toilet paper, I hope.

No, Kleenex, and it's mine.

Mr. Chanois asked me
to make a big ball.

- A big ball ? Are you sure ?
- Yes.

- Good girl, Gis�le.
- I'm about to slap her.

Gis�le !

Yes ?

Stand at the photocopy
window with the ball.

All right.
Stand at the photocopy
window with the ball.

All right.

About the leak, I talked
to the sterwardess.

And ?

She's been away and
hasn't taken a bath in 2 weeks.

- But I got an idea...
- Tell me later, I'm busy.

- Gis�le !
- That you, Maurice ?

No, it's not him.

Yes, Mr Chanois ?

Listen carefully.

Stand right above the pigeons,

then let the ball drop.

- On the pigeons ?
- No.

Let it drop straight down, like...

You know, like...excrement.

Don't get in the way,
you know my luck.

Unbelievable !

- She chewed it !
- The spitball queen !

Fantastic !

If the pigeon's don't shit
in the mid-air, you're laughing.

Not yet, no. I'll let him know.
Good-bye, sir.

Lucky I was here.
Where were you ?

Dropping a big spitball
on Mr. Chanois.

We need to have a talk.

In my office.

Don't wait up for me,
I don't know when I'll be home.

With Dev�ze you never can tell,
I could be here all night.

But I'm pretty sure
it'll end earlier.

That's it,
I'll be less tired.

I love you, honey.

What's wrong ?

Your big spitball broke
the camel's back !

What ?

Louise is gonna get
me fired by Mr. Dev�ze !

And there's a recession on !

If there's a problem,
I'll have a word with Mr. Dev�ze.

Please stop blubbering.

You should wipe your face again.

- I can't !
- Why not ?

- I chewed all my Kleenex.
- For god's sake !

Hi there !

Sabine ?
What are you doing here ?

It's not Sabine.

It's me !

Martine !

I don't beleive it !

This is great.

You haven't changed.

When I found out who it is,
I'll kill him !

You expect her to check
herself into a convent ?

She's single. You were'nt the first,
you won't be the last.

If I find him,
I'll bust his head.

Won't solve anything.

I'll enjoy hurting him.
His pain will be my pleasure.

Each to his own.

- I wouldn't bother.
- What was that ?

- Nothing !
- Shut up !

I asked you that
five years ago.

"If you come back, I won't be mad.
You'll always be welcome."

"You're the love of my life
and I'll wait for you."

"Love, Marc."
Was not that heartfelft ?

Five years ago !

- You said you'd wait.
- I didn't think you'd be

- sailing the world for 5 years.
- Neither I did.

But I realized I missed you,
and I'm 27...

You're not 27, you're 31.

You remember my birthday ?
You haven't forgotten me !

Snap out of it !
A lot happens in five years.

Did you cheat on me ?

Yes.

So did I ! It's OK !

Now that we're both
more mature,

we can live happily
ever after.

Martine, I've met someone.

I'm very much in love
and we're getting married.

Sorry.

- Sabine, is it ?
- That's right.

I'm very busy
and I'm running late.

Say no more, I get it.
I was wrong to come here,

thinking you'd keep
your promises.

My life has lost its meaning.

- Good-bye, Marc.
- Good-bye, Martine.

Wait !

Are you crazy ?

I don't have time for this.

Have a seat and calm down.
Let's talk about it.

It's been five years !

Come over here.
Could that be the guy ?

- Look's rich enough.
- He's headed for #36.

- Could be for the funeral.
- Wearing a pink shirt ?

Takes all kinds.

I'll shove those violets
down his throat !

Excuse me.

- I'm going to the 4th floor.
- No kidding ?

What are you doing ?

- Smoke a joint to relax ?
- No !

Quit smoking ?

Just tobacco occasionally.

You're still attractive.

I've aged.
I really have to be somewhere.

With Sabine ?

I'll wait for her,

- so I can meet her before I die.
- I'm meeting a client.

A man. What's the time ?

You've gotten hyper.

Very ! We had a good time,
but now it's over so leave.

- All right.
- Thanks.

Go out by the door !
Don't be so dramatic !

- You're violent !
- Very !

And I'm holding back.
Who's there, what's the time ?

4:30. Can I talk to you ?

No, I'm in the middle of...

- I don't have time.
- Throw me out and I'll scream.

Leave Ingrid alone.
I don't want to see you here again.

Don't argue !

I love her
and you can't have her.

She needs a stud like me.

Get it, flower-man ?

It's easy, just call your
fianc�e and explain,

she'll understand.

Don't forget I was first.
Can't I meet her ?

Why not sleep over ?

Sounds great. There were ten of us
crowded onto the boat.

One time in Colombo,
we couldn't tell who was who !

I know who I am and Sabine's for me,
end of discussion.

Men are all the same.
You can't be trusted.

Men are all the same.
You can't be trusted.

I know.

Mr Zucker !

I need a Kleenex, hurry !

Sorry, I chewed them all up.

What now ?

Happy birthday !

You're the only one
who remembered !

We've known each other for 10 years.

What happened to you ?

I was attacked by some lunatic
coming up in the elevator.

- Not safe anywhere now.
- Sit down.

- I'll fix you up.
- Thanks.

- How's Dev�ze ?
- Under observation in Zurich,

at Dr.Aschenbach's clinic.

About time he saw
a good cardiologist.

- He only lives for his work
- He's the only one serious, here.

Didn't mean it for you, Louise...

- Lean back.
- Now I'm fine.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

If I let you kiss me,
will you leave ?

- Mr Zucker's here.
- Who cares ?

Come here !

You wanted a kiss,
you got it.

Wait in here.

Remember when we went
on that sailing trip ?

- We screwed like rabbits.
- That was ages ago.

You can send in Mr Zucker now.

Louise showed him
into Mr Dev�ze's office.

Mr Zucker !

How are you ? Oh, right...

This time I think
it's all here.

All your demands
have been met.

You'll notice we've
reduced our commission.

What was I saying ?

Oh yeah, I focused on
the suspensive clauses

you were worried about.

That's the 5th floor plumbing.

These old walls
are paper-thin !

Please be my guest.

That's the buddhist upstairs.

She's always chanting in the shower,
it drives you crazy.

Pipe down !

Is the extended coverage
good for rail transport ?

Absolutely !
On page 8...

...paragraph 7...

...we specify that...

Mr. Dev�ze...

He's changed.

That's Mr Dev�ze's
prot�z�...prot�g�.

Now I know why his heart gave out.

No, it's not like that !

She's the cleaning lady.

A refugee.

From Eastern Europe.
She's homeless,

so Mr. Dev�ze, kindhearted man he is,
let her move in.

It's heated, there's
a bathroom and kitchen...

For an Eastern European refugee,
it's luxury.

Does she always
walk around naked ?

Yes !

They're hardworking,
but no modesty.

In the East they live ten in a room.

- So you see...
- It's dreadful.

She speaks no French,
so we can't explain to her...

I speak a little polish...

No please, thanks but no.

I don't even think she's polish.

Eastern Europe is huge...

My accent's wretched...

I don't understand a word.
What language is that ?

Polish, now get out.

Why the hell Polish ?

Because he fells like it.
Just let him be.

Mr. Dev�ze taught me that...

I understand.

You're hurting me !

- This isn't your Austin.
- No.

She buy you the sissy car ?

Yes ! No !
Mind your own business !

Shit !

- Where to ?
- A hotel.

- Baby !
- Stop ruining my life !

I'll find you a hotel !

- You're mean now.
- Yes, very mean !

They've got something against me !

Don't you dare move !

Does that car belong
to someone ?

- Probably...
- Usually does.

Whose car is it, Gilou ?

I didn't see it, but I have
an inkling who owns it.

- Who ?
- A U.J.O

- What ?
- Unidentified jerkoff !

Can't you see...

What happened with Mr. Zucker ?

I'm busy !
What's the time ?

- 6:12.
- Shit !

Mr. Dev�ze will get an earful.

Louise threatened me
about Mr. Zucker again.

- It's my fault he stormed out.
- No !

She says I shouldn't have let
the naked faked Polish girl in !

She's not polish,
she's a friend.

- I noticed !
- You saw nothing !

No sir, I saw nothing.

What happened with Zucker ?

Nothing, why ?

Louise told me about
some fake polish girl.

She's nuts,
there's no Polish girl.

It's nothing, good night !

Good night, Gis�le !

Shit, Martine !

- Mr. Zucker ?
- Marc, I have a problem.

- What's wrong, honey ?
- I don't know what to wear.

You're always beautiful.

My dad gives me grief
if it's too sexy,

but I want to look pretty for you.

Why don't we both
pick up my parents up ?

I can't, I have problems,
Zucker isn't here yet...

Will you be on time ?

- Don't leave me alone with them.
- I promise.

Do you love me ?

I love you.
Everything will go fine tonight.

What are you...
now you're getting on my nerves !

You screwed me royally !
We lost our biggest client !

I'll get him back.
He liked that Polish girl.

No, get's lost !
What's the time ?

Relax !

I'm staying here tonight.

Are you ? Get out !

If you act like that,
I'm gone for good.

All right.

Jump !

I have no time,

Just don't hit the Spitfire.

Meet me at 9 at the "Pr�Catelan",
in the Bois de Boulogne ?

- Who told you ?
- Your daybook is your bible.

Finicky as ever.

What did I do to you ?

Nothing, I love you.

What's it gonna be,

I stay here or have dinner with you ?

- Just one night.
- One or two,

at most.

Mongin, phone !

Are you sure ?

You're the only one,
fortunately.

Mr. Mongin, please hold
and I'll put you through.

- I'll hold.
- Who is it ?

Please hold.

- The stewardess ?
- I can't hear.

The line's crackly.

Got everything you wanted ?

It's strange being
back in Paris.

Don't know if I can sleep.

On the boat,
I was rocked by the waves.

I'm too busy
to rock you to sleep.

If I need you,
I can find you.

You're not gonna...

Hang on.

- Drink.
- What is it ?

It's mild,
better than waves.

A little more.

I'll be back tomorrow.

- No kiss ?
- Sure.

I love you !

Don't start that again !

Marc ?

I decided to wear
the blue Chinese dress.

Good, I mean...very well.

- Is that her ?
- I'm with Zucker now.

He's there ?

I forgot to tell you.

Don't talk politics with dad.

- You won't agree.
- I'm sure.

What's that ?

Who's there ?

The pigeons are making noise.

Hear that ?

Do you love me ?

Yes I love you.

- Do you love me ?
- You too.

What ?

The pigeons !
Zucker's getting impatient.

Kiss me ?

Yes, I kiss you a lot.

Me too !

Stop it !

She sounds like no fun.
I'm the love of your life.

See you tomorrow.

Some jackass is in my way again,
I suppose you know nothing ?

Got that right !

Thanks, bunch of jerks !

- Whose car is that ?
- Don't make that mistake twice.

Scientific discoveries
aren't made with one experiment.

So you're going for
Nobel Prize in face-bashing ?

Keep trying and one day
you'll beat up the right one.

- Excuse me.
- Your keys again ?

- No, my car.
- Which fell on my ledge ?

I can't get my car out,
someone's blocking the driveway.

I thought someone here
might drive a dark-colored Clio.

Dark-colored.

A member of your family might
have been distracted by grief.

Come with me.

F�licien,
what are you doing ?

- Washing.
- You're smoking ! Come out !

- I know you're smoking.
- I swallowed shaving cream !

You're an idiot !

Answer the door !

Coming, dear !

- Yes ?
- It's about the car.

About time !

Double fracture with
complications, plus my wife.

Who is it ?

The insurance man.

- I'm not an insurance agent.
- You work upstairs.

I'm actually
an insurance advisor.

You harass us about the premiums,
but won't pay out.

- What's he say ?
- He won't pay !

Bring him here
and I'll show him !

I just want to know if the car
blocking the driveway is yours.

I blew my brakes
on the highway,

Why would it be here,
con artist ?

My dog !

You let Durg�ne out !

Maurice !
I was getting worried, come in !

- I'm not Maurice.
- You're late, but it's OK.

I made macaroons,
your favorites.

- But the car...
- Park it downstairs.

No one goes at this hour.
I'll make you some tea.

No, I...

You're tired !
Why do you live so far away ?

Your room's set up,
I'll get some pillows.

Want a hot-water bottle ?

Sure.

Hang on !

Don't open,
he might tell my wife.

In that case...

Very funny.

Anyone, there ?

Still there.

How long's he gonna
be out there ?

Who knows, maybe hours.

He's finicky as hell.
What's he want ?

Might be about the leak.

- Enough with the leak already !
- I'll handle it.

- Go hide.
- Ask about Dev�ze's Mercedes.

Hurry !

- Yes ?
- Is that car downstairs yours ?

I don't have a car.

- Wait ! Is it your boyfriend's ?
- Don't have one.

Sorry to bother you.

Bye, baby !

Asshole !

- I'm not her lover !
- Where's my dog ?

Shut up about the dog !
How long've you been screwing her ?

My fianc�e's in my office.
Come and see.

Better be true.
Afraid she'll run away ?

- Like some people we know ?
- What was that ?

Nothing !

Martine, it's me !

I knew you'd be back,
I feel like make love.

Yeah, we'll make hot love.

See ? We'll make hot love.

What happened to you ?
Who's this ?

- There was a mistake.
- Believe me, now ?

Yeah.

Let me go,
you'll muss me up.

- That'd be a shame.
- What are you doing up there ?

- Trying to get my car out.
- From the 5th floor ?

Must've shook him
a little too hard.

I'm fine !

It's probably the guy with your
fianc�e whose car's in my way.

- Ingrid's with a guy ?
- Yeah.

A doobie'll fix you up.

No, I quit smoking.

We'll smoke it later.

- I'll get it aside.
- We're not smoking anything.

It's my eye,
the rest of me is fine.

Let's rediscover our chakras.

- Leave me alone !
- You said we'd make love !

I said it because I had to,
or he'd have killed me.

Why was he forcing you
to have sex ?

It's a long story. Gotta go,
what's the time ?

What did you give me ?
I don't feel well.

It's nothing to worry about.

Lie down,
and be rocked to sleep.

Lie back.

Hear me, asshole ?

- That joker !
- It's you or your windshield !

Coming down ?

Did you slash my tires ?

The trip was horrible.

An hour's delay at Bordeaux,
with no explanation whatsoever.

Calm down !
He was upset the entire fligh.

- With good reason.
- Henri !

- His ulcer's acting up.
- Who gave it to me ?

If you hadn't left
Philippe at the altar

for that lowlife insurance agent,
my health'd be fine.

It's true !

It's a special day,
you promised you wouldn't criticize.

I can't help it.
Did you buy a new car ?

No, it's a loan.

I just hope it's cleaner
inside than out.

- Did you call a tow truck ?
- It's on the way.

About time !

Fire !

Fire, goddammit !

Let me, I'm used to it !

- Moron !
- I'm usually used to it !

Thanks, Gilou.

- It's out.
- Give it another wipe.

- Thanks, listen...
- Want me to fix the top ?

No, make sure no one blocks
the drive for 10 minutes.

OK, 10 minutes.

- 20 minutes ?
- All right.

- Not now, I'm busy !
- About that leak !

The tow truck's gone.
Where's that ape ?

Good, he's splitting,
let's go.

How are you, Mr. Dev�ze ?

Better than I thought.

Could you open the office ?
I need my Mercedes keys.

No point,
Mr. Chanois's there.

That's lucky.

I'll stay here
and watch the entrance.

Going up !

What's Dev�ze doing back ?

- Should've brought your car.
- There are 2 spots,

- I'm #3.
- Not zero ?

Very funny !

Chanois's here too !

Maurice, you brought Odile !
Come in !

- I made macaroons !
- Great.

What's going on
with the elevator ?

Going up !

When's the wedding ?

Yeah, Maurice,
it's about you set a date.

- When ?
- I don't know.

You startled me, Mr Dev�ze.
How are you ?

Good news,
I don't need a bypass.

Dr Aschenbach says I have
the heart of a 20-year-old,

- or maybe 25.
- Great !

What happened ?

Nothing,
I had a little dizzy spell.

- Nothing serious ?
- Not at all.

How'd it go with Zucker,
did he sign ?

Just about.
You know how demanding he is.

Just make sure he doesn't
sign with another company.

Don't worry,
the situation is under control.

I trust you, Marc.

Thank you.

Have you seen my car keys ?

No.

I usually put them
in my left-hand drawer.

I'll check Louise's office.

Good idea.

Hope it's not too strong !

Great !

Thanks.

- I hope you'll eat a macaroon.
- Of course.

What ?

My 7000-franc tooth !

Where could my keys
have gotten to ?

I don't get it.

It's starting to bug me.

This office is getting too lax.

Gotta do everything myself.

Indeed.

As soon as we've done with Zucker,
I'm retiring.

I can finally travel !

What's that noise ?

- That ? Pigeons.
- No...

Pigeons don't snore,
they coo.

Not necessarily.

They coo during the day,
but at night they sleep.

It's only natural
some of them would snore.

Especially the older males.

Who knows why ?

I'm feeling a little weird...

You should go home to bed.

- Enough work.
- You're right, what's the time ?

7:25.

- Shit !
- I'm starting to feel weird.

My head spinning.

I don't fell at all well.

I fell like I'm dying.

I'm joking,
but it's not funny.

- Have a safe trip !
- Watch the hair !

I'll put the keys back
and you wait for me.

No more waiting !
You'll never get a divorce !

- Come on Ingrid !
- Good-bye, Maurice !

Wait, Ingrid...

Let's take the stairs,
in case I throw up in the elevator.

Maurice, it's been so long !

Take it easy...

- She's missing a tooth !
- I noticed !

A pretty girl like that !
Must've happened in bed.

No, her jealous boyfriend
probably hit her.

- You know him ?
- I've dealt with him.

I'm sure you have !

Are you sleeping with
that young lady ?

Is your black eye because
of the jealous boyfriend ?

No, the cupboard.

You're screwing the cupboard too ?
You can't get enough !

No, I bumped my head
on the cupboard.

- Feeling good ?
- Delightful !

Is that sissy car yours ?

It's a birthday present for
my fianc�e, who's not a sissy.

The candle go on the cake,
not the car !

Anyway, it's not far.

I'm flying !
Must've eaten a kite.

This leak of yours
is getting on my nerves.

Take it easy !

That's it.

Watch the hair !

- Hang the clothesline.
- First, dinner in the fridge.

I'd forgotten what
a good lover you are !

What are you doing here ?

- Dressed like that ?
- Better than I remembered.

You're raving.

Let me go !

We can break up over
some crazy old bag !

We're so good together.

- What happened to you ?
- The old lady's attached to me.

- Did she give you that hickey ?
- Yeah, she's nuts.

Pass me my change of clothes ?
I can't go home like this.

Whatever !

You want a fight,
you'll get one.

Give me my clothes
or I'll throw out your tooth.

- 7000 francs is a lot.
- What do you want with Ingrid ?

- Why do you have her tooth ?
- I found it.

Since I've never met her
before in my life,

out of courtesy,
even though I don't know her,

I felt obliged
to give back her tooth.

- It's only right.
- That's nice.

Almost finish bailing ?
I have to go, it's late.

Stay here or I'll kill you !
I'll be back for you later.

Do you mean it ?

Especially the part
about killing you.

Remember that horror movie,

where the guy's condemned
to relive the same nightmare ?

I'll just call a cab.

I'll have to make conversation,
but at least I'll be dry.

An american movie !

- Find my dog, thief ?
- Not now !

You're in the wrong,
con artist !

- Hi mom !
- Hi Maurice !

Ingrid, open up,
I have your tooth.

Everything's fine, mom.

Jos�phine ?

Still in the shower.

No, mom, we're working.

We're still between appartments,
so might as well.

She's actually
doing her laundry !

Now I know why
you were so nervous.

Didn't want me to know ?

Your fianc�e threw you out, right ?

You're staying in your office ?

She hit you too ?

Must be tough getting
beaten by a woman.

You can't admit it to your
coworkers or your boss.

You keep it inside
and to explain it,

you pretend to have
dizzy spells.

Yes, sir.

Don't worry,
my lips are sealed.

Thank you.

- Are you putting me on ?
- Of course not.

You're keeping
your mistress here ?

Don't lie,
she went in my office.

A black girl.

A black girl ?
Are you sure ?

Absolutely !

Impossible.

- What'd she look like ?
- Naked.

- Naked ?
- Stark naked.

- Why would she be naked here ?
- I'd like to know.

Fighting at your age !
You worry your mother sick !

Go back inside, Mom.
Run !

- Maurice !
- Hi, mom !

That's Chanois, not Chamois.

I made reservation for 4.

How about a whisky ?

- They're not there yet ?
- Then you'll tell me all, now !

Please tell the young lady
as discreetely as possible,

that I might be late too.

Thank you, bye.

Is this your midnight snack ?
This is beyond words.

- What's wrong, dear ?
- Nothing, mom.

- Tell me, your father's asleep.
- It's about Marc.

- You're seeing him again ?
- Well...

- Actually, we live together.
- Oh dear !

- He wants to marry me.
- Oh dear !

Don't tell your father tonight.

He came all this way
for your birthday.

- Marc's at the restaurant !
- Oh dear !

What's going on ?
Were are we ?

We haven't moved !

Get serious !

You can't keep camping out
in the office with your mistress.

Get your life in order !

I don't have a mistress !
Where is that naked black girl ?

You must've been hallucinating,
because of the cigarette.

You think I'm senile,

- and see naked black girls ?
- No...yes !

It happens when you're tired.
This office induces fantasies.

Mr. Zucker, who's no flake,
saw a polish girl.

Also naked, but white.
That's what upset him.

Today's a day for...

Marc ?

I got bored in the dumpster.

Hi !

Who's this girl from the dumpster ?

- His fianc�e.
- Excuse me.

Charles Dev�ze.

Nice to meet you.

My keys ! At last !

In my office tomorrow at 8.
We need to talk.

What's the time ?

Leaving so soon ?
I'll make you coffee and macaroons.

Excuse me.

What are you doing now ?

Shaman exercices.
I'm emptying myself out.

What about empty yourself
out of the door ?

Come see, it's divine.

I learned it from a guru
who'd do it for hours.

Gurus may have nothing to do,
but I'm busy.

- What stinks ?
- Just the octopus.

It's disgusting !

What are you doing ?

Not out of the window !

Shit !

God, I'm in pain !

Of course you have no water,
so I can't take my pill.

Whose stupid idea was it
to go to the Bois de Boulogne ?

Dad, I need to talk to you.

What's this ?

You're fired !

I can explain !

- Did you call a cab ?
- It's for my friend.

No animals !

The octopus stays here.

- Where's my dog ?
- I traded it in.

Bastard !

I've had enough of you !
Don't come back !

- Give this to your friend !
- All right.

- Is the cab for you ?
- Yeah.

What happened ?

- You ran into me.
- What ?

- You ran into me on my scooter.
- What are you talking about ?

It's what I'll tell my wife.

No animals !

It's not mine.

I've been through this before.

When your dad introduced me
to his parents,

they went white in the face !

A seafood truck overturned
on the highway.

- Dad, we need to talk.
- Not right now.

- Sorry.
- Drop it.

- That smell was unhealthy.
- Shut up !

- Are you looking for my dog ?
- We don't give a shit.

Oh yeah, I'll show you !

Shut up, goddammit !
Someone's dead !

I want my dog !

Durg�ne !

Come here !

You must have insurance.
Come with daddy.

This'll upset you,
but I'm very disappointed in you.

You used to be so calm
and level-headed.

Since I've been back,
I've seen agitation,

violence, lies and debauchery.

You're not the man
I fell in love with.

I'm leaving.

Go to your dinner.

Thanks, for everything.

You should take a shower,
you smell like octopus.

Yeah, you're right.

Bye.

Be happy.

Good evening.

Mr Chanois will be late.

Why are there 4 places ?

Sit down, Henri.

Take your pill,
Sabine has something to tell you.

Martine, open the door !

This is pathetic !

Open up !

You can't marry that man.

If you want to get married,
marry Philippe.

- But I love Marc.
- He's a ladies man,

or he wouldn't still be
a bachelor at his age.

- He had his heart broken.
- Like all ladie's men.

Gets them sympathy.

- He'll drop you.
- No !

Say something.

Just like your father
when you announced our engagement.

At least I was on time.

You'll forget her, and she, you.
We'll be happy together.

You're lucky
I got here in time.

She wasn't for you.
You know my intuition.

Come back !

See ? He was just using you.

He may be right.

I don't get it !
He said he wanted to marry me !

My poor baby !

This has gone on long enough.

Everyone's looking.

- Henri, he's naked !
- So he is.

A thumb used to be
good enough for us.

What ? You're picking up
that derelict ?

Happy birthday, darling.

- Whappened ?
- Nothing...

I'll have it fixed.

You scared me.
Do you love me ?

More than ever.

- Your car broke down ?
- Yes.

Why are you naked ?

I couldn't decide
what to wear for your father !