Original subtitles

NEWS ANCHOR: If you're just joining,

we are about to witness a human consciousness

reinserted into a printed clone body.

Kristina Soon is reporting from the site of the first download.

Kristina, what are scientists saying about

the implications of today's procedure?

Well, that they are effectively reversing the upload process,

bringing us closer to endless corporeal life.

Thanks, Kristina. More from you in Cupertino in a moment.

COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER: Oscar Mayer Intel.

Pushing the boundaries of meat.

(exhales) Big night.

It'll be perfect. Everything's set.

No, I was talking about the download.

That could be me soon.

IVAN: And there.

(exhales)

Not bad for a dead guy.

So dope, right?

I don't know. It had more...

wow factor in the picture.

How about... Oh.

This one.

(whoops) Yes.

Yes. This is it. I love it.

This just feels right.

Uh...

You look like a Jonas brother.

NATHAN: Great. Tonight's about me anyway.

I don't think so. Can I see... this one?

If you upgrade to Timberlake Plus.

Okay.

(exhales)

Do I dare?

Dare.

INGRID: Yes.

Uh, maybe we save the money for a download.

Are you kidding? It's perfect, babe. Go on.

(exhales)

Oh, hey, hey, hey. Hi.

Boundaries.

Relax, it's just the AI doing its job.

Okay.

-Let's talk boutonnieres. -(gasps) Yes.

-Eh, not really my style. -Baby, come on.

Today is our day. Right?

I've been planning every detail for a month.

Okay.

Good boyf. (chuckles softly)

-Rianne, turn your fucking walkie on. -Jesus.

No, Sheri needs candle duty backup. What have I...

(exhales)

Good move just saying yes, bro.

As the account holder, she's got all the power.

-(scoffs) Please. -Hey, man.

You want to fight her, it's your funeral.

-I can't deal with any more hiccups. -Oh, shit.

-I can't. -Hey. Hey, come here. (shushes)

Everything is gonna be great.

It's not about the food or the decorations.

-Kinda. -It's about having your friends and family

all gathered to honor you. All right?

I'm gonna love it. I promise.

-(chuckles softly) -Not to party poop,

but upload funerals tend to be a little, mm... lame.

No, I think you're just predicting your own,

which will probably be poorly attended,

but I was very popular.

I've been waiting my whole life for this.

-Tonight's gonna fucking rock. -(whispers): Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, shit!

(laughs) Are we good here?

'Cause, uh, I'm gonna go watch this on a real TV.

Uh, no offense.

KRISTINA: There are about 200 people

in the room here witnessing this.

You can go, too.

-Ugh. -KRISTINA: In seconds, the consciousness

of Rupert Tilford will be reinserted

into this clone body, printed by Oscar Meyer Intel

from his DNA.

NATHAN: This is my ticket home.

KRISTINA: Tilford had the winning bid of

$4 billion, earning him the distinction of

becoming the first download in human history.

NEWS ANCHOR: Many would agree the opportunity

to live again in real life is worth any price.

KRISTINA: Okay, the team is now cueing up

the reinsertion process.

This will carry thousands of terabytes of data

-into the clone. -NEWS ANCHOR: And that data,

-that's his consciousness, right? -KRISTINA: Correct.

The machine is a reverse Scanner,

reorganizing the synaptic connections

in his brain cells.

(beeping, whirring)

Rupert, can you hear me?

(applause)

They've made contact.

Uh... (sniffs) I-I smell... (sniffs)

uh, sweat.

It's fantastic. (chuckles)

I'm me again.

Can you feel any sensation?

(chuckling): I can feel everything.

It's so beautiful.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

(sniffs, moans)

Oh. Look.

(chuckling): Look, my fingers, my toes.

It worked!

What? What's the matter?

Oh. Oh, no.

LEAD SCIENTIST: Uh, levels are dropping.

-Inject reserve unit supply. -(alarms beeping)

(grunting)

O-Okay, okay, stop.

Okay, this doesn't feel good.

-Mm... -Ew.

Re-upload me.

-Re-upload me! Now! -(beeping continues)

Fucking upload me! Now! Fuck science!

(horrified murmurs)

(sustained beeping)

This is Kris...

Yeah, fuck those motherfucking tech assholes!

"Upload me! Upload me!"

(sighs) Mm-hmm.

(chuckles) Well, I...

guess I'll be here a little longer than we thought.

That's okay, baby.

'Cause I'll be right here with you.

Oh.

Oh, bebs, they just opened the doors.

I got to go.

(exhales)

Oh, shit.

How fast can you fix this?

♪ ♪

ERNIE: How are you feeling, Luke?

Lately? Can't complain.

I feel like I found a really great friend in Nathan,

so if I ever start to feel weird, I just focus on that.

Really? That was fast.

And his funeral is soon, so...

when I'm the perfect shoulder to lean on,

I think we'll hit best friend status.

Possibly.

Wait. What do you know?

Well, are you sure you're invited?

Doesn't his funeral start in ten minutes?

Yeah. We got to cut it short today.

Angel! (gasps)

-What room is Nathan New Guy in? -Which Nathan? Nathan Greenstein?

-Sure, Nathan New Guy. -10440.

Ew, God, no! Angel!

-What? -Young Nathan New Guy!

-Oh, the chisely one? Uh, Nathan Brown? -Yes!

Oh, well, have you considered minding your own damn business?

-(groans) -I cannot keep giving you information just because you...

-I don't have time for this bullshit. One star! -...ask me for the information.

-Angel supervisor! -Wait, no, no, no, you don't have to...

-You don't have to... -Hi.

My dumb angel is sucking again. I need the room of

my close friend and confidante, Nathan Brown.

I will throw myself into the torrent right now

if I don't get it; that's how frustrating

she's making this whole process.

Thank you for your feedback. I can assist you.

Nathan Brown is in 10556.

-Thank you. -You're so welcome.

Jesus Christ, I almost killed myself because of you.

You know, when you say that,

-it doesn't really have a meaning anymore, so... -Damn it.

He's already heading over, and he looks fantastic.

Angel, formal suit options.

Don't forget to keep your chin up, okay?

Hi. Enjoy the gift bags.

Ingrid.

You outdid yourself.

And may I say, mourning suits you.

Aw, Derek. Nathan's really looking forward to seeing you.

That's a... that's a nice suit.

Hey, you are gonna bounce back so fast.

-You're such a strong woman. -(chuckles)

How much is it costing you to keep him up there?

Just curious. I mean... Don't get me wrong,

I love the guy. Love the guy. I'd do anything for him.

But, uh, you know you can do better. Right?

-Right? -(chuckles): Okay.

Wow.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

(sighs) That was one of my top five haircuts.

(chuckles)

Wouldn't miss it for the world. (chuckles)

(chuckles): Hey. What? Wait, what now?

Do you need a minute? On your count, you let me know.

Oh, you're here for the funeral.

Um, actually, my girlfriend kind of

planned the whole thing and...

she's trying to keep it pretty small.

(short buzz)

-(short buzz) -What?

-Come on! -Look, man, I didn't want to play

the vet card this early in our best friendship,

-but I wore my dress blues. -Yeah, I'm not gonna argue with that.

-Let's do this. -Yes!

-And, uh, Luke? -Yes.

Cool.

-(melodic chime) -Oh.

(sighs)

(gasps) Nathan.

I'm so sorry about your death.

And so pleased about your britches.

-(chuckles softly) -I do hope that style returns permanently.

Well, thanks for coming, Mildred, um...

(smacks lips)

Mm.

Oh.

Who is that?

Ingrid's grandmother.

Yeah, she a hundred years old.

Okay, but, like, she's hot, right?

Something about that Great Depression vibe,

like she'd do anything for a can of soup.

-Yeah. -(both chuckle)

♪ ♪

(quiet chatter)

(sighs)

Oh.

(indistinct chatter)

(Ingrid and Nathan sigh)

Ing-lo Saxon.

My Brownie. Hi.

-(zapping) -Ooh. Ow.

-Sorry. -It's okay. Just say hi to my folks.

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming.

Well, we love Lakeview

and we are a Horizen family, after all.

Three generations of unlimited data.

Yeah. Jack, your hair looks really clean today.

Mommy washed it.

-All right. -(Derek imitates gunfire)

Nath-him? I barely knew him. (laughs)

-D-bag. D-money. What's... -(zapping)

-Fuck me. I forgot. -Yeah.

You're dead, man. What's up?

(both grunting)

(imitating gunshots)

I'll take some of that action.

(imitating gunshots)

Hey, man, is Jamie with you?

I don't know, man.

I-I went to pick him up and he flaked on me.

Said he had too much work to do, said you left him

-"in a jam." -No.

He's not returning my calls.

Hold on.

-Oh. -Hey.

Mom.

(laughs softly) You look so real.

I am real, Mom.

Well, I watched your head burn off.

NATHAN: Okay.

How's the food?

Oh, that's the best part. We get to eat

maple bacon doughnuts for breakfast every day.

Ooh, I've never had one of those.

-(chuckles) -Remember when

I used to pull a quarter from your ear?

I can't do that now, 'cause you're in a video game.

What a beautiful day

for the celebration of our dearly uploaded Nathan Brown.

Brought to you by L'Oréal.

Please enjoy a randomly generated slideshow

of Nathan's own memories and iPhoto library

on the screen above me.

VIV: On Saturday, he ate through one slice of chocolate cake,

-one ice cream cone... -(choir singing over video)

Aw, my PAW Patrol lamp.

...one slice of cheese, one slice of salami,

one lollipop, one...

(phone ringing)

-(clears throat) -(tennis players grunting)

Ooh. Be right back.

What's with the waves?

I don't know.

It's a setting.

They-they use it to cover nudity.

Probably in this case, jerking off.

-(soft laughter) -Perfect.

How do you know Nathan?

Oh, me? Uh, we, uh, work together.

-Mm. -You?

Engineering school. Carnegie Mellon.

I'm Bethany.

-Holden. -Glynn.

Nora.

So, what was Nathan like in college?

He was a well-adjusted freshman that got hotter every year.

By the end, he had a minor in narcissism.

-It was a campus full of nerds. -Yes.

So he was a big fish in a small pond.

He was a barracuda in a fucking toilet bowl.

(laughs)

Not cocky, just on top of the world.

-He was a good boyfriend though. -Yeah.

-True. -Wait.

You all dated him?

Yeah, there was a gap between each of us--

a small gap, but a gap.

Huh.

Did you ever date Nathan?

Oh, uh, no.

I don't, I don't think I'm his type.

-At-at all. -Really?

Yeah, I think you are.

-Oh. (giggles) -(camera clicking)

I don't know.

No. Try one more, one more.

-(zipper unzips) -(laughs) Ew.

Stop, that's so bad.

Hey. How do you think this is going?

This is going pretty well, right?

Wait, where are they going?

Oh, Rams game.

Hey, baby.

(kissing)

(Nathan laughs)

♪ ♪

(siren wailing)

Lord...

I googled Nathan Brown.

And I liked what I saw.

Our Nathan was a son, a friend,

a one-time catalog model.

Two-time. Two-time.

Accomplished barista...

and an avid fan of a violent children's game.

What, is he doing a Mad Libs?

I gave him some basic info about you.

-He's not wrong. -No, he-he's making me sound immature.

I had big things in the works.

Well, that didn't exactly pan out.

REVEREND: ...you gave Methuselah a thousand years

and he praised your name.

-(quiet beep) -Lord, you gave Noah

950 years,

hallelu!

-Psalm 88:10. -(laughs)

-(groaning quietly) -Do you show your wonders to the dead?

(clears throat)

Do their spirits rise up

and praise you?!

So with zero seconds to spare, goggle rings around my eyes.

What? Thank God for Gina.

What-what'd she do...

-(crowd cheering) -Hey. Hey, turn it back.

UNCLE LARRY: I'm just checking the score.

Right now.

So, how do you know Nathan?

We won a SoCal Shoot the World tournament back in 2030.

In the gaming community, they call me "Bear Claw."

No big deal. You play?

God, no. No. But I was active duty,

which is, you know, shooting the real world.

In the Army community, they call me "corporal."

Very big deal.

Cool.

Ah, I wish we could've given you a ceremony that was more you.

Money's just tight these days.

But things are okay, right?

I-I mean, you got the payout from the business with Jamie?

We got your equity shares.

And to be honest, it wasn't very much.

I-I mean, Jamie said a lot went to tying up loose ends

'cause you didn't finish the work.

You're Ingrid Kannerman.

Those are a lot of hors d'oeuvres.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Fran Booth, investigator.

Health investigator?

No, a suspicious circumstances investigator.

Think of me as a famous detective.

I have questions for you about the night of the incident.

Question one...

Hmm, you suddenly stiffened.

Nervous?

I'm just trying to understand the context

of your so-called boyfriend's premature upload.

Okay, he's my boyfriend-boyfriend,

and it was not premature.

He was dying.

Not according to the hospital.

His vitals were going back up.

In case you were hoping for a big payout from the car company,

hope for something else.

Okay. Fran, is it?

So there's some really amazing deep hair conditioning masks

in those gift bags over there.

Maybe you should check those out.

Hair masks are for ding-dongs.

Okay. I'm gonna say a few words.

-I'll be listening. -That's good.

-That's why I told you. -Yeah.

Bye.

(Ingrid clears throat)

Excuse me. Thank you.

Thank you all for being here to celebrate

in this beautiful location, with a well-curated menu

and tasteful floral arrangements.

Though today has been blissfully perfect in many ways,

we need to remember a tragic event

that happened to a very important person:

Rupert Tilford.

What?

The download misfire was a shock to us all,

as men and women of good conscience

and as a global community.

Now, you can focus on the bloody aftermath--

and there was a lot of blood--

or... you can focus on those beautiful four seconds,

when an upload was back in his own body.

Come on.

Now, I choose to live in those four seconds,

because positive thinking is truly the most powerful force

we have in this world.

Am I right?

So...

to those four seconds.

(man coughs)

Those four seconds!

Thank you.

(quiet chatter)

Uh... (clears throat) Hey.

Babe, um, can you clink your glass again for me?

-Oh. Sure, booby. (laughs) -Thanks.

Whoops. One more.

(Nathan clears throat)

Hey. Hey, everyone.

Um, thank you all for coming.

At this time, I would just like to ask,

you know, any of my friends if they want to say...

anything... about me.

I-I always knew you jerked it to women's tennis.

-Okay. -Was it the grunting, or...?

(laughs)

Okay.

Would anyone other than Uncle--

Uncle Larry, put your fucking hand down.

Anyone else at all want to (clears throat) say something?

Maybe a nice eulogy? Derek?

Oh, he's gone.

(clears throat) Um, okay.

Uh, Bobby?

Jamie?

No-shows.

Um...

Willia... (chuckles)

William!

William.

Uh, as, uh,

manager of Nathan's apartment complex...

No. No, no. No.

Uh, other William?

He left.

He was a nice guy.

We both were named William.

Oh, God. Uh, let's go to New York.

Maybe...

Oh.

Hey, Bethany, Glynn, Holden.

-Hey. -Hey. -Hi.

What?

Hi.

INGRID: No!

No more exes, please.

What was wrong with my speech?

Uh...

well, you didn't even mention me.

I mean, not that I got to choose any details,

but to not even be mentioned?

Okay, do you have something you want to say?

A month ago, I wasn't even planning on attending

my own funeral,

but I really never would've guessed

that it would suck this hard.

Suck?

Italian cortito suit.

-Oh, God. -Boutonniere.

-(sputters) -Minibar chips at nine bucks a bag.

-I put those back. -How about therapy dog?

-Angel service? -Great. Great.

Why don't you just delete me, save all the money?

Okay, don't tempt me.

Your friend Derek made it pretty clear I could go home with him.

(sighs)

You're right.

I'm just being ungrateful.

So let's just do whatever you want.

(whispers): Thank you.

(groans softly)

-This is too sad. -Yeah.

We're gonna get a table across the street,

if you want to join.

Oh, uh, I can't.

Long commute home.

But... thanks.

Yeah. It was really great to meet you,

even if it did get a little dark towards the end there.

(sighs)

Hey, Cousin Fran.

Nice of you to come.

Sorry for your loss.

Do you have any enemies,

and can you list them in order of most likely

to want to kill you to least likely?

What? What is this about?

I'm helping your mom sue Google Motors.

It is my theory your car was tampered with.

But you're not an investigator.

You're a middle school gym teacher.

I'm excellent at puzzles.

Okay. Well... (chuckles)

I don't remember having any enemies.

But I have been having some memory problems lately.

Oh, just like your car.

(loudly): Interesting.

Right.

-Well, enjoy the snacks, Fran. -I have.

INGRID: Please grab a L'Oréal gift bag on your way out.

Thank you.

You know I didn't mean those things I said before, right?

I know, babe.

Best funeral ever.

Yeah.

It was.

Okay, Rianne! Where are you?

Rianne?

Yo, dog.

Check it.

Hmm.

-(sighs) -That you?

Yeah.

The new Botox Babies dropped.

-I saved it to watch together. -(babies crying)

(laughs): Oh, yes.

You're the best.

All right, give me two seconds.

Just want to see if someone is working late in L.A.

Call Josh Pitzer.

(phone speed dials)

Josh Pitzer.

Mr. Pitzer. Hi.

Nora Antony from New York.

Christ, it's, like, 1:00 a.m. there.

Why are you stalking me?

I had a couple questions about Nathan Brown, who came in

with Jamie Arpaz to talk about a project called Beyond.

I'm not going to confirm or deny any of that,

and the fact you have knowledge of it

tells me that someone's broken an NDA, so...

Nathan Brown is dead.

I was just at his funeral.

Wow.

They were both so young. Um...

I mean, I was angry

at the one who refused to sell, but I would never want this.

Which one died?

Was it the shy one or the-the really good-looking guy?

The really good-looking guy.

Tell me, why did they refuse your investment?

They didn't. I mean, I don't know

who you're talking about, and none of that ever happened.

(sighs softly)

-Jamie. -(phone speed dials)

AUTOMATED VOICE: The person at 2-1-3-5-

-M-percent-sign- -(scoffs)

5-7-3-1-8-9-2 is not available.

To leave a message, begin speaking at the tone.

(electronic tone)

Hey. It was my funeral today.

Yeah. Derek was there.

He was a huge dick.

I guess he was hitting on Ingrid.

Uh... oh, but I had a nice toast given to me

by my apartment manager William, so...

that was a huge highlight.

Anyway, it was just weird seeing everybody.

Or, well, almost everybody.

Give me a call sometime, man.

Looks like I'll be here for a while.

(chuckles): Unless Ingrid decides to stop paying the bills.

(sighs)

Okay.

I've had about enough of today, but...

you know, tomorrow's a new one, right?

Maybe I'll talk to you then.

("The Bottom of It" by Fruit Bats playing)

-(exhales) -(singer vocalizing)

♪ Now that you've gotten to the autumn of ♪

♪ Your years and you feel your best yet ♪

♪ So happy that you got to the bottom of ♪

♪ The fears that were fettering you ♪

♪ And you found a round stone ♪

♪ And you're wearing it around like a jewel. ♪

♪ ♪