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1
00:03:48,055 --> 00:03:49,807
Think of it, Thing.
2
00:03:51,391 --> 00:03:53,439
For 25 years,
3
00:03:53,602 --> 00:03:56,481
we've attempted to contact Fester
in the great beyond,
4
00:03:56,647 --> 00:03:59,321
and for 25 years,
5
00:03:59,816 --> 00:04:00,863
nothing.
6
00:04:02,319 --> 00:04:05,789
I'm beginning to think
my brother truly is lost.
7
00:04:16,124 --> 00:04:19,048
Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.
8
00:04:22,172 --> 00:04:23,389
Help me.
9
00:04:36,186 --> 00:04:37,654
Look at her.
10
00:04:38,522 --> 00:04:40,695
I would die for her.
11
00:04:41,692 --> 00:04:43,490
I would kill for her.
12
00:04:44,986 --> 00:04:46,613
Either way, what bliss.
13
00:04:53,286 --> 00:04:56,506
- Unhappy, darling?
- Oh, yes.
14
00:04:57,666 --> 00:04:59,293
Yes, completely.
15
00:05:07,426 --> 00:05:08,643
Gomez,
16
00:05:10,178 --> 00:05:11,475
the sun.
17
00:05:14,141 --> 00:05:17,645
Oh, Tish, that's French.
18
00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:19,066
Oui.
19
00:05:21,356 --> 00:05:22,403
Cara mia.
20
00:05:26,069 --> 00:05:28,788
En garde, monsieur Soieil.
21
00:05:31,408 --> 00:05:32,660
Gomez?
22
00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:34,081
Querida.
23
00:05:34,411 --> 00:05:37,460
Last night you were unhinged.
24
00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:41,301
You were like some
desperate howling demon.
25
00:05:41,835 --> 00:05:43,553
You frightened me.
26
00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:47,136
Do it again.
27
00:05:54,431 --> 00:05:56,104
Thank you, Lurch.
28
00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:35,355
Damn you, Addams!
29
00:06:35,764 --> 00:06:37,641
Sorry about the window, Judge.
30
00:06:37,808 --> 00:06:40,527
Keep the ball. I have a whole bucketful.
31
00:06:44,648 --> 00:06:46,321
You moron!
32
00:06:50,487 --> 00:06:52,410
It is a milestone, Tish.
33
00:06:52,572 --> 00:06:55,166
This very night, our 25th séance.
34
00:06:56,827 --> 00:07:00,252
All those years, gnawed by guilt,
35
00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:02,715
undone by woe,
36
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:06,674
burning with uncertainty.
37
00:07:08,713 --> 00:07:10,932
Don't torture yourself, Gomez.
38
00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:14,219
That's my job.
39
00:07:15,762 --> 00:07:17,514
Oh, Tish.
40
00:07:18,682 --> 00:07:21,356
Imagine, darling,
if Fester did come back.
41
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:25,690
Half alive, barely human,
a rotting shell.
42
00:07:26,356 --> 00:07:27,824
Don't tease.
43
00:07:40,912 --> 00:07:42,835
Stop it! I'm warning you.
44
00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:50,677
Look, darling. Tully is here.
45
00:07:52,424 --> 00:07:54,677
- Tully!
- Romping with Gate.
46
00:07:57,012 --> 00:07:59,731
These are your last paying clients,
may I remind you?
47
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:02,268
- If it gives you pleasure.
- Something has to.
48
00:08:02,434 --> 00:08:05,654
Like a decent coat,
something dressy, for evening.
49
00:08:06,062 --> 00:08:07,780
Ask for a loan. Beg!
50
00:08:07,939 --> 00:08:09,941
No loans. I am not a bum.
51
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:12,611
Don't say it. I'll get the money.
52
00:08:12,777 --> 00:08:14,074
I have a plan.
53
00:08:14,571 --> 00:08:16,244
This is all so humiliating.
54
00:08:16,406 --> 00:08:19,501
- Why did I marry you?
- Because I said yes.
55
00:08:20,118 --> 00:08:23,793
I'm here to see Mrs. Addams
about the charity auction.
56
00:08:26,374 --> 00:08:27,967
Stop! Let go!
57
00:08:52,275 --> 00:08:54,118
- Missed!
- What's that?
58
00:09:01,117 --> 00:09:02,994
Dirty pool, old man.
59
00:09:03,662 --> 00:09:05,005
I like it.
60
00:09:16,841 --> 00:09:18,218
Had enough?
61
00:09:24,349 --> 00:09:25,896
Where's my pen?
62
00:09:26,851 --> 00:09:29,149
Never mind. I'll take yours.
63
00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:38,454
First, the old business.
64
00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,960
Charity auction, it's ridiculous!
65
00:09:44,494 --> 00:09:47,714
- Perhaps it's in here.
- I don't think so.
66
00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:56,511
"Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe."
67
00:10:02,387 --> 00:10:04,856
"Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe."
68
00:10:08,143 --> 00:10:09,690
"Uncle Niknak."
69
00:10:12,313 --> 00:10:15,658
"The Fester Addams
Offshore Retirement Fund?"
70
00:10:16,151 --> 00:10:18,825
- What would it do?
- What wouldn't it do?
71
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:21,866
Fester, all tribute to thee.
72
00:10:22,032 --> 00:10:24,660
- Some called him inhumanly evil.
- No!
73
00:10:24,826 --> 00:10:27,830
Only our parents. I called him brother.
74
00:10:27,996 --> 00:10:31,671
And his memory must live on forever
through money.
75
00:10:32,042 --> 00:10:35,342
I'm gonna deposit the funds
under my name for tax purposes.
76
00:10:35,503 --> 00:10:36,720
That's inspired.
77
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,180
He would've wanted it that way.
Beloved Fester.
78
00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:43,474
Indeed!
79
00:10:45,055 --> 00:10:47,524
- For Fester!
- For Fester! A brother!
80
00:10:47,682 --> 00:10:49,104
- My brother!
- One of a kind!
81
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:52,316
- The doctors all said...
- Kind to animals, so good with children!
82
00:10:52,479 --> 00:10:55,323
- They never proved anything.
- $1 million is the perfect amount.
83
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:57,951
- It's brilliant.
- It's untraceable!
84
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:03,039
But, Tully, it's not old business.
85
00:11:03,198 --> 00:11:05,718
It's going to have to wait.
You know the rules better than that.
86
00:11:05,825 --> 00:11:09,295
Why? But this is different.
This is in my name. Make an exception!
87
00:11:09,454 --> 00:11:12,333
Old business is old business
and new business is new business
88
00:11:12,499 --> 00:11:13,842
and this is new business
89
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,879
and we do not discuss
new business until
90
00:11:21,049 --> 00:11:22,551
next quarter.
91
00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:24,185
Next quarter?
92
00:11:24,427 --> 00:11:25,929
Next quarter?
93
00:11:28,306 --> 00:11:32,402
Fine lunge, but your riposte,
a tad rusty.
94
00:11:36,731 --> 00:11:38,153
Make yourself comfortable, old man,
95
00:11:38,316 --> 00:11:41,411
while I get the money
for the monthly expenses.
96
00:12:05,009 --> 00:12:08,513
There it is.
Just what we've been searching for.
97
00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:11,141
Thank you, Thing.
98
00:12:13,393 --> 00:12:16,488
My God, what is it?
99
00:12:16,813 --> 00:12:19,441
A finger trap
from the court of Emperor Wu.
100
00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,735
It must be worth a fortune.
101
00:12:22,485 --> 00:12:26,991
Oh, Morticia! This is too extravagant!
102
00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:29,952
Even for the auction.
103
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,162
Let's keep it.
104
00:12:32,662 --> 00:12:37,088
Hush, Mama. It's for charity.
Widows and orphans.
105
00:12:37,834 --> 00:12:39,677
We need more of them.
106
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,172
Margaret?
107
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:45,592
About the séance tonight.
108
00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:50,267
I wish you'd come. It's Gomez,
I'm terribly worried about him.
109
00:12:51,139 --> 00:12:53,642
He won't eat. He can't sleep.
110
00:12:54,642 --> 00:12:56,815
He keeps coughing up blood.
111
00:12:57,729 --> 00:12:59,481
He coughs up blood?
112
00:13:00,773 --> 00:13:02,867
Well, not like he used to.
113
00:13:06,571 --> 00:13:07,993
Down, kitty!
114
00:13:43,483 --> 00:13:46,032
There, the monthly expenses.
115
00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:56,538
Miss Bradbury.
116
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:01,008
Miss Bradbury!
117
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:05,638
- She's gone home, Mr. Alford.
- Oh, Mrs. Craven!
118
00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:09,889
- I was just about to call you.
- I'm certain you were.
119
00:14:10,051 --> 00:14:13,430
You haven't met my son Gordon,
have you, Mr. Alford?
120
00:14:14,514 --> 00:14:15,686
Hello.
121
00:14:18,851 --> 00:14:22,776
Is this the one, Mother'?
That deadbeat you mentioned?
122
00:14:24,607 --> 00:14:25,928
No, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
123
00:14:25,942 --> 00:14:29,162
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
You have to listen to me.
124
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,948
Do we, Mr. Alford? And why?
125
00:14:32,365 --> 00:14:34,163
Please, hear me out!
126
00:14:35,785 --> 00:14:37,207
Hear me out!
127
00:14:37,495 --> 00:14:39,543
Please. Please!
128
00:14:40,832 --> 00:14:42,084
Your call, Mother.
129
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:45,550
Gordon and I
enjoy a very special relationship.
130
00:14:45,712 --> 00:14:48,511
- She's a pip!
- Refreshing, no?
131
00:14:48,673 --> 00:14:50,641
- Down, Gordon.
- Mother?
132
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,393
- Gordon.
- Gordon!
133
00:14:54,929 --> 00:14:58,729
We've lent you a considerable sum,
many thousands of dollars.
134
00:14:58,975 --> 00:14:59,976
Payment due.
135
00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:02,463
I don't have the money to repay you.
I've tried everything.
136
00:15:02,478 --> 00:15:06,278
- Oh, Gordon, I want to believe him.
- So do I.
137
00:15:06,441 --> 00:15:07,613
Make me proud.
138
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,493
No, no, no, no, no.
139
00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:20,709
- He lied to us, Mother.
- No, no. It's not what you think.
140
00:15:20,872 --> 00:15:22,966
Those are doubloons
for the Addams account.
141
00:15:23,124 --> 00:15:24,171
Addams?
142
00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:26,712
There's more, there's a fortune,
but nobody can get to it.
143
00:15:26,878 --> 00:15:28,004
Don't you think I've tried?
144
00:15:28,171 --> 00:15:30,845
Have you? Have you tried hard enough?
145
00:15:31,007 --> 00:15:34,682
- Ask him, sweetheart.
- No, no, no, sweetheart. Don't ask.
146
00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:44,027
Fester.
147
00:15:50,693 --> 00:15:53,663
- It's a miserable night.
- I know, darling.
148
00:15:54,364 --> 00:15:55,957
Séance weather.
149
00:15:57,325 --> 00:15:59,669
Children, we're starting!
150
00:15:59,994 --> 00:16:01,962
Put down that antenna.
151
00:16:08,795 --> 00:16:12,595
It's unbelievable.
This hideous creature and my little boy.
152
00:16:15,968 --> 00:16:17,766
They could be twins.
153
00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:22,024
But they're his family. What
makes you think they'll fall for it?
154
00:16:22,183 --> 00:16:24,902
You shave your head, we dress you up.
No problem.
155
00:16:25,061 --> 00:16:27,061
They'll think he's Fester,
their long-lost brother.
156
00:16:27,063 --> 00:16:29,065
I hope so, Mr. Alford, for your sake.
157
00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:31,155
Hey, I've been the Addams' lawyer
for years.
158
00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:33,411
- They're morons.
- Obviously.
159
00:16:33,569 --> 00:16:35,788
- Now what about the gold?
- They got this vault, it's somewhere...
160
00:16:35,947 --> 00:16:37,540
- Where?
- I'm not sure.
161
00:16:37,698 --> 00:16:39,575
That's a problem, isn't it?
162
00:16:39,742 --> 00:16:42,461
Now listen,
Fester's been missing for 25 years.
163
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,338
He and Gomez had some sort of a fight
164
00:16:44,497 --> 00:16:46,920
and Gomez feels
incredibly guilty about it.
165
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,926
He'll tell you anything. Just ask.
166
00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:52,635
- It's foolproof.
- It had better be. Now, get out.
167
00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:55,216
It's gonna be great.
168
00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:58,227
You're gonna get back
all the money I owe you and more.
169
00:16:58,386 --> 00:16:59,638
You'll see. Really.
170
00:17:02,014 --> 00:17:05,644
This is it, Mother.
The one we've been waiting for.
171
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:10,156
No more loan sharking,
no more storefront scams.
172
00:17:10,314 --> 00:17:12,567
I get the gold, and we're gone.
173
00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:15,987
And Tully takes the rap.
Gordon, it's brilliant.
174
00:17:16,154 --> 00:17:17,827
No, not Gordon!
175
00:17:18,239 --> 00:17:20,788
- Of course not.
- Fester.
176
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:31,257
Big night for you guys, eh, small fry?
177
00:17:33,171 --> 00:17:34,844
Hello, sweetheart.
178
00:17:35,756 --> 00:17:37,133
Could you?
179
00:17:42,305 --> 00:17:44,808
Oh, thank God.
180
00:17:45,308 --> 00:17:47,310
Welcome, honored guests.
181
00:17:49,145 --> 00:17:50,442
Entrails?
182
00:18:05,244 --> 00:18:09,215
Sing, O spirits, hearken all souls.
183
00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:11,418
Every year on this date,
184
00:18:11,584 --> 00:18:14,508
we offer a clarion call
to Fester Addams.
185
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:15,842
Stop it.
186
00:18:16,297 --> 00:18:17,549
Pugsley.
187
00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:23,512
Kids.
188
00:18:24,472 --> 00:18:26,691
From generation to generation,
189
00:18:27,517 --> 00:18:29,565
our beacon to the beyond.
190
00:18:31,479 --> 00:18:34,232
All close eyes and join hands.
191
00:18:40,821 --> 00:18:42,198
What a grip!
192
00:18:43,491 --> 00:18:44,708
My hand!
193
00:18:45,993 --> 00:18:48,712
My hand! She's got my hand!
194
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,849
- Excuse me.
- Okay, pumpkin, sit down.
195
00:19:00,007 --> 00:19:03,102
- Join the fun.
- Mama, you should know better.
196
00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:06,059
Thing, you're a handful.
197
00:19:06,597 --> 00:19:07,974
Wednesday.
198
00:19:08,641 --> 00:19:11,315
Let us ransom you
from the power of the grave.
199
00:19:11,477 --> 00:19:14,230
Tonight, O Death, let us be your plague.
200
00:19:14,814 --> 00:19:16,111
Mama.
201
00:19:16,274 --> 00:19:18,117
Fester Addams,
202
00:19:25,324 --> 00:19:27,372
I feel that he's near.
203
00:19:30,037 --> 00:19:33,291
Fester Addams, gather your strength
204
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:36,631
and knock three times.
205
00:19:41,215 --> 00:19:42,592
Did you hear that?
206
00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:45,098
- Ask again, Mama, quickly.
- By all means.
207
00:19:45,261 --> 00:19:46,433
Ask. Ask.
208
00:19:46,596 --> 00:19:51,818
Fester Addams,
I demand that you knock again!
209
00:20:04,322 --> 00:20:05,949
He's at the door!
210
00:20:21,922 --> 00:20:23,640
- Could it be?
- Is it him?
211
00:20:23,799 --> 00:20:25,927
- Is it possible?
- Oh, my God.
212
00:20:28,971 --> 00:20:31,645
- Fester.
- Gomez.
213
00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:53,288
Good evening. I am Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
214
00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:01,596
He was found in Miami,
tangled in a tuna net.
215
00:21:01,754 --> 00:21:05,975
It was just last month
during the Hurricane Helga.
216
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:09,270
The sky, it was black like pitch.
217
00:21:09,428 --> 00:21:13,649
The waves, they were walls of doom.
Can you imagine?
218
00:21:13,808 --> 00:21:17,153
They drag him from the ocean,
from the very jaws of oblivion.
219
00:21:17,311 --> 00:21:22,317
I'm telling you.
There were tests, so many tests!
220
00:21:22,525 --> 00:21:26,371
A complete psychological profile.
221
00:21:26,696 --> 00:21:27,822
At long last,
222
00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:30,537
the Florida Department
of the Fish and the Game,
223
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:34,330
they say, "Lo and behold,
oh, my, oh, my, oh, my,
224
00:21:34,495 --> 00:21:36,873
"go tell it on the mountains,
225
00:21:37,707 --> 00:21:39,459
"he is your brother."
226
00:21:41,794 --> 00:21:45,424
Boom! They give him to me
at Human Services,
227
00:21:45,589 --> 00:21:49,344
and I am bringing him,
after all these years,
228
00:21:49,635 --> 00:21:52,138
after who knows what heartache,
229
00:21:52,304 --> 00:21:54,648
after the naked and the dead,
230
00:21:54,807 --> 00:21:57,811
I am bringing him home to you!
231
00:21:58,436 --> 00:22:00,154
- That's preposterous.
- Margaret...
232
00:22:00,312 --> 00:22:02,473
Isn't that the most ridiculous thing
you've ever heard?
233
00:22:02,565 --> 00:22:04,784
- Possibly...
- It certainly is.
234
00:22:07,653 --> 00:22:09,872
- Now you're back.
- Yes, back.
235
00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:13,079
Back to share your joys, your sorrows.
236
00:22:13,242 --> 00:22:16,416
- Hey, everything.
- Well, I just don't know.
237
00:22:16,579 --> 00:22:18,673
Honey, how does this work, again?
238
00:22:18,831 --> 00:22:20,959
An infant would understand.
239
00:22:23,919 --> 00:22:27,389
Fester Addams, home at long last.
240
00:22:27,757 --> 00:22:31,387
Well, at least for a week.
241
00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:34,772
- A week?
- Don't be ridiculous. You're home.
242
00:22:34,930 --> 00:22:36,648
Sorry, but I have to get back.
243
00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:40,402
I've got a lot of things cooking
in the Bermuda Triangle.
244
00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:41,904
Oh, Gomez.
245
00:22:42,563 --> 00:22:45,407
- The Bermuda Triangle.
- Devil's Island.
246
00:22:45,566 --> 00:22:47,568
The Black Hole of Calcutta.
247
00:22:47,735 --> 00:22:50,739
- Excuse us.
- Second honeymoon.
248
00:22:52,156 --> 00:22:55,535
Dr. Pinder-Schloss,
will you be staying with us, too?
249
00:22:55,993 --> 00:22:58,166
No, no. I must be going.
250
00:22:58,329 --> 00:23:02,709
But I will be back, you can bet,
to be checking on Fester's adjustment.
251
00:23:04,126 --> 00:23:05,127
Cool.
252
00:23:05,294 --> 00:23:07,763
Nobody gets out of
the Bermuda Triangle.
253
00:23:07,922 --> 00:23:09,799
Not even for a vacation.
254
00:23:09,965 --> 00:23:11,467
Everyone knows that.
255
00:23:11,634 --> 00:23:15,389
Oh, my little bundle.
So much you don't understand.
256
00:23:15,554 --> 00:23:19,309
The human spirit,
it is a hard thing to kill.
257
00:23:20,226 --> 00:23:22,445
Even with a chain saw.
258
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,164
Unpacking? Let me.
259
00:23:34,824 --> 00:23:36,952
It's all right. I can do it.
260
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,503
Crowbar.
261
00:23:43,916 --> 00:23:45,133
Dynamite.
262
00:23:52,258 --> 00:23:53,601
Cyanide.
263
00:23:56,637 --> 00:23:59,811
Fester, as if we'd run out.
264
00:24:04,186 --> 00:24:05,563
Good night.
265
00:24:37,511 --> 00:24:39,184
Nosy little brat.
266
00:25:41,158 --> 00:25:42,626
Who's there?
267
00:26:18,487 --> 00:26:20,990
My own dear brother.
268
00:26:23,033 --> 00:26:26,628
- I've got goose bumps.
- I know.
269
00:26:28,122 --> 00:26:32,468
Screams in the night,
it can only mean one thing.
270
00:26:34,503 --> 00:26:35,846
He's home.
271
00:26:38,340 --> 00:26:40,809
Please! Please!
272
00:26:40,968 --> 00:26:43,471
Leave me alone!
273
00:27:10,539 --> 00:27:11,882
Breakfast?
274
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:16,504
Damn, it's good to have you back.
Let's go.
275
00:27:19,548 --> 00:27:21,175
Two out of three?
276
00:27:26,305 --> 00:27:28,148
Home cooking!
277
00:27:28,307 --> 00:27:31,151
There's nothing like it in the world.
278
00:27:31,602 --> 00:27:33,400
May I have the salt?
279
00:27:35,439 --> 00:27:37,066
What do we say?
280
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,492
Now.
281
00:27:49,411 --> 00:27:53,507
- What is this?
- Mama's spécialité de la maison.
282
00:27:53,832 --> 00:27:55,550
Oh, Tish.
283
00:27:58,295 --> 00:28:00,093
Start with the eyes.
284
00:28:02,633 --> 00:28:04,476
Did you sleep well?
285
00:28:05,928 --> 00:28:08,147
- Like the dead.
- Really?
286
00:28:08,305 --> 00:28:09,985
Who would have thought
the Bermuda Triangle
287
00:28:10,099 --> 00:28:11,567
could change a man so much?
288
00:28:11,725 --> 00:28:15,821
You used to toss and turn all night.
We had to chain you to the bedpost.
289
00:28:15,979 --> 00:28:17,777
Doesn't make sense.
290
00:28:19,149 --> 00:28:23,780
The Bermuda Triangle is a very strange
and mysterious place.
291
00:28:24,404 --> 00:28:27,624
You'd be surprised
at all the things you don't know.
292
00:28:29,118 --> 00:28:30,791
She certainly would.
293
00:28:30,953 --> 00:28:33,376
Wednesday adores
the Bermuda Triangle.
294
00:28:33,539 --> 00:28:36,713
She studies it.
Death at sea, she's hooked.
295
00:28:36,917 --> 00:28:38,544
Ask me anything.
296
00:28:42,256 --> 00:28:45,305
Being in my old room
sure brings back memories.
297
00:28:46,635 --> 00:28:49,980
- Remember Camp Custer?
- For preteen offenders.
298
00:28:59,481 --> 00:29:01,483
Aren't memories precious?
299
00:29:01,984 --> 00:29:05,488
Today I'd like to wander
through the house, remembering.
300
00:29:05,654 --> 00:29:07,873
No, no. Sorry, old man.
No wandering today.
301
00:29:08,031 --> 00:29:10,454
Today we're going straight to the vault.
302
00:29:20,627 --> 00:29:23,176
Bravo, Pugsley!
303
00:29:29,303 --> 00:29:30,646
- "Greed"!
- "Greed"!
304
00:29:39,188 --> 00:29:41,657
I feel like we're children again.
305
00:29:41,857 --> 00:29:43,404
Tag. You're it!
306
00:30:06,131 --> 00:30:08,384
Smell that air, Fester.
307
00:30:12,137 --> 00:30:13,514
Like a tomb.
308
00:30:20,687 --> 00:30:23,236
The sea, your second home.
309
00:30:24,524 --> 00:30:26,026
Ship ahoy-
310
00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:43,840
Do you think that's really Uncle Fester?
311
00:30:44,002 --> 00:30:47,006
Father says so,
but I think Mother isn't sure.
312
00:30:51,009 --> 00:30:52,306
Pugsley, sit in the chair.
313
00:30:52,469 --> 00:30:54,642
- Why?
- So we can play a game.
314
00:31:00,143 --> 00:31:01,486
What game?
315
00:31:02,771 --> 00:31:06,321
It's called, "ls There a God?"
316
00:31:31,133 --> 00:31:32,510
The vault!
317
00:31:33,969 --> 00:31:37,439
Two to the right, ten to the left.
318
00:31:37,597 --> 00:31:40,225
And then around to...
319
00:31:40,767 --> 00:31:41,859
Five.
320
00:31:42,769 --> 00:31:43,986
Eleven.
321
00:31:44,938 --> 00:31:47,942
Two, ten, eleven. Eyes, fingers, toes.
322
00:31:48,650 --> 00:31:50,152
So many years.
323
00:31:59,995 --> 00:32:02,464
- Welcome back.
- Thanks.
324
00:32:03,623 --> 00:32:05,625
Our secret place.
325
00:32:08,837 --> 00:32:11,636
If these walls could speak, eh, old man?
326
00:32:11,798 --> 00:32:15,803
- What would they say?
- You tell me.
327
00:32:16,636 --> 00:32:17,979
You first.
328
00:32:18,972 --> 00:32:20,474
Senior partner.
329
00:32:21,266 --> 00:32:22,813
Junior spaceman.
330
00:32:24,936 --> 00:32:26,688
First a brandy. Do the honors.
331
00:32:26,855 --> 00:32:28,983
I've got a real treat in store.
332
00:32:29,149 --> 00:32:31,743
Where is it, you ridiculous imbecile?
333
00:33:16,947 --> 00:33:18,745
Show time!
334
00:33:48,603 --> 00:33:51,026
There, the debutante ball.
335
00:33:52,524 --> 00:33:54,697
Remember that fateful night?
336
00:33:55,652 --> 00:33:56,995
Of course.
337
00:34:02,367 --> 00:34:03,789
Your first cigar.
338
00:34:03,952 --> 00:34:07,297
What? Come on, old man.
I've smoked since I was five.
339
00:34:07,456 --> 00:34:09,129
Mother insisted.
340
00:34:11,293 --> 00:34:14,092
Flora and Fauna.
341
00:34:14,379 --> 00:34:16,802
Quite the pair, eh, Gomez?
342
00:34:17,132 --> 00:34:18,884
Can you ever forgive me?
343
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:21,807
What?
344
00:34:22,262 --> 00:34:24,230
I didn't love them,
345
00:34:24,389 --> 00:34:27,643
yet I wooed them both
out of foolish pride.
346
00:34:28,602 --> 00:34:31,276
You were so dashing,
you could have any woman you wanted,
347
00:34:31,438 --> 00:34:32,940
dead or alive.
348
00:34:33,565 --> 00:34:35,033
I was jealous.
349
00:34:35,192 --> 00:34:37,411
Insanely jealous.
350
00:34:37,569 --> 00:34:39,287
I admit that now.
351
00:34:42,365 --> 00:34:45,118
But I did not mean to drive you off,
352
00:34:45,285 --> 00:34:47,458
not to the Bermuda Triangle.
353
00:34:47,954 --> 00:34:49,797
Water under the bridge.
354
00:34:50,290 --> 00:34:52,418
Forgiven. Forgotten.
355
00:35:00,133 --> 00:35:01,976
Come on. Say it.
356
00:35:02,802 --> 00:35:05,521
- Say the secret password.
- The password?
357
00:35:06,306 --> 00:35:08,479
Come on. Stop fooling. You remember.
358
00:35:08,642 --> 00:35:11,566
Please. I'm choking. Please.
359
00:35:11,728 --> 00:35:14,447
You forgot our secret password?
360
00:35:14,606 --> 00:35:16,984
The word we used 100 times a day?
361
00:35:17,150 --> 00:35:19,278
Our special private name
for each other?
362
00:35:19,444 --> 00:35:21,617
That was a long time ago
when we were children.
363
00:35:21,780 --> 00:35:23,123
You almost killed me,
364
00:35:23,281 --> 00:35:27,127
you demented freak.
365
00:35:27,285 --> 00:35:30,630
Poor devil, what did they do to you
in that Bermuda Triangle?
366
00:35:30,789 --> 00:35:33,292
But if he's not Uncle Fester,
then who is he?
367
00:35:33,458 --> 00:35:34,960
Somebody else.
368
00:35:38,046 --> 00:35:39,298
It has to warm up.
369
00:35:39,464 --> 00:35:42,559
- Why?
- So it can kill you.
370
00:35:43,176 --> 00:35:44,678
I knew that.
371
00:35:45,512 --> 00:35:49,187
- Children, what are you doing?
- I'm going to electrocute him.
372
00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:51,477
But we're late for the charity auction.
373
00:35:51,643 --> 00:35:54,192
- But, Mother...
- I said no.
374
00:35:54,813 --> 00:35:56,030
Please?
375
00:35:56,982 --> 00:35:58,484
Oh, all right.
376
00:36:08,326 --> 00:36:09,748
This magnificent piece
377
00:36:10,328 --> 00:36:13,923
is encrusted with rubies
and 15 emerald chips.
378
00:36:14,249 --> 00:36:19,506
It was donated
by Morticia and Gomez Addams.
379
00:36:19,754 --> 00:36:22,257
Remember, this year,
over half our proceeds
380
00:36:22,424 --> 00:36:25,553
will benefit the elderly
and the mentally disabled.
381
00:36:26,219 --> 00:36:29,314
I'll open the bidding at $5,000.
382
00:36:29,472 --> 00:36:32,100
Five... Not good enough.
383
00:36:32,267 --> 00:36:34,486
- $20,000.
- What are they doing?
384
00:36:34,644 --> 00:36:37,318
- I have 20.
- Twenty-five.
385
00:36:38,023 --> 00:36:39,366
Twenty-five.
386
00:36:39,524 --> 00:36:40,776
Thirty.
387
00:36:41,901 --> 00:36:43,323
Thirty-five!
388
00:36:45,363 --> 00:36:49,288
- Fifty.
- I have $50,000.
389
00:36:49,451 --> 00:36:50,828
Your turn, my ecstasy.
390
00:36:50,994 --> 00:36:54,589
$50,000, going once.
$50,000, going twice.
391
00:36:56,416 --> 00:37:00,842
Sold to Morticia Addams for $50,000.
392
00:37:12,307 --> 00:37:14,275
Isn't it too enchanting?
393
00:37:14,434 --> 00:37:16,311
How do you take it off?
394
00:37:19,105 --> 00:37:21,073
There's a trick to it,
395
00:37:23,443 --> 00:37:24,820
of course.
396
00:37:35,163 --> 00:37:37,962
"How do you take it off?" That's absurd.
397
00:37:38,291 --> 00:37:41,795
That finger trap was a party favor
at his 10th birthday!
398
00:37:46,591 --> 00:37:47,843
Oh, no.
399
00:37:48,426 --> 00:37:50,144
Father's playing with his trains.
400
00:37:51,805 --> 00:37:54,103
He wore that finger trap for two years!
401
00:37:54,265 --> 00:37:56,267
Mother had to teach him
to eat with his feet.
402
00:37:56,434 --> 00:37:59,062
And the combination and the password
403
00:37:59,229 --> 00:38:01,823
and my cigar and he slept so well!
404
00:38:05,527 --> 00:38:06,949
He's using the diesel.
405
00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:19,632
The covered bridge.
406
00:38:23,002 --> 00:38:24,219
Dead man's curve.
407
00:39:18,057 --> 00:39:20,731
It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it?
408
00:39:30,779 --> 00:39:33,532
Spirits above me, give me a sign.
409
00:39:34,073 --> 00:39:36,792
Shall I be joyous or shall I be damned?
410
00:39:52,634 --> 00:39:54,307
Sleepless night?
411
00:39:57,222 --> 00:39:59,020
Walk with me, Fester.
412
00:40:05,104 --> 00:40:06,606
Aunt LaBorgia.
413
00:40:07,065 --> 00:40:09,284
Executed by a firing squad.
414
00:40:10,777 --> 00:40:12,279
Cousin Pledge.
415
00:40:12,779 --> 00:40:15,874
Torn limb from limb by four wild horses.
416
00:40:17,450 --> 00:40:19,748
Darling Uncle Eimar.
417
00:40:22,622 --> 00:40:24,090
Buried alive.
418
00:40:25,416 --> 00:40:28,465
Psychopaths, fiends,
419
00:40:28,628 --> 00:40:30,301
mad-dog killers.
420
00:40:30,964 --> 00:40:33,808
Brutes, Fester. Pioneers.
421
00:40:34,384 --> 00:40:35,977
Lest we forget.
422
00:40:37,262 --> 00:40:39,105
Your beloved Muerto.
423
00:40:40,890 --> 00:40:44,110
After you left,
he was simply a different vulture.
424
00:40:45,854 --> 00:40:47,606
He wouldn't circle.
425
00:40:48,606 --> 00:40:50,279
He wouldn't peck.
426
00:40:51,734 --> 00:40:54,453
That's how much
you mean to this family.
427
00:41:01,578 --> 00:41:03,626
Mother and Father Addams.
428
00:41:04,956 --> 00:41:08,335
How I wish the children
could have known them better.
429
00:41:09,127 --> 00:41:11,471
But tell that to an angry mob.
430
00:41:14,841 --> 00:41:19,642
And our credo,
"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc."
431
00:41:20,430 --> 00:41:23,775
We gladly feast
on those who would subdue us.
432
00:41:24,684 --> 00:41:26,607
Not just pretty words.
433
00:41:30,148 --> 00:41:34,324
As an Addams,
you understand completely, don't you?
434
00:41:36,863 --> 00:41:39,958
As an Addams, yes, I do.
435
00:41:43,536 --> 00:41:45,288
Good night, Fester.
436
00:41:47,832 --> 00:41:49,379
Rest in peace.
437
00:41:58,718 --> 00:42:00,846
They're on to me, Mother.
I'm almost sure.
438
00:42:01,387 --> 00:42:03,230
Of course I tried.
I still can't find it.
439
00:42:03,389 --> 00:42:04,510
You've got to get over here.
440
00:42:04,557 --> 00:42:06,855
Arsenic, cyanide. Cyanide.
Arsenic, arsenic.
441
00:42:07,352 --> 00:42:08,899
Don't say that.
442
00:42:10,188 --> 00:42:11,690
You know I do.
443
00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:17,825
His trains are everywhere.
The children are beside themselves.
444
00:42:18,488 --> 00:42:20,490
Is that for your brother?
445
00:42:20,823 --> 00:42:22,450
I don't think so.
446
00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:32,085
This can't go on.
447
00:42:32,251 --> 00:42:34,754
How can I help him? Tell me, Mama.
448
00:42:36,297 --> 00:42:38,720
"Troubled husbands."
449
00:42:38,883 --> 00:42:40,601
- "Adultery"?
- Oh, no.
450
00:42:41,594 --> 00:42:44,473
- "Financial, money troubles"?
- No.
451
00:42:45,682 --> 00:42:49,152
- "Turned into toad or reptile."
- Ls there an index?
452
00:42:51,145 --> 00:42:54,069
They know I'm a fraud, the whole bunch.
453
00:42:54,691 --> 00:42:56,068
It's not going to work.
454
00:42:56,234 --> 00:42:59,579
Who knows?
Gomez, that overheated moron?
455
00:43:00,029 --> 00:43:02,623
He's no moron. He's Fester's brother.
456
00:43:02,782 --> 00:43:04,329
They had some awful fight years ago.
457
00:43:04,492 --> 00:43:06,586
He's suspicious,
they all are, I can tell.
458
00:43:06,744 --> 00:43:08,963
Really? Well,
thank God I came over here.
459
00:43:09,122 --> 00:43:13,628
I will counsel the troubled family,
ease their distress.
460
00:43:13,793 --> 00:43:16,421
It's my calling. Remember, Gordon?
461
00:43:16,587 --> 00:43:19,591
- What?
- I'm a doctor.
462
00:43:22,385 --> 00:43:25,935
Why don't you speak to Fester, darling?
He's right outside the door.
463
00:43:26,097 --> 00:43:29,226
I would speak with Fester
if that were Fester.
464
00:43:29,434 --> 00:43:32,608
But that is not. That's an impostor!
465
00:43:32,770 --> 00:43:35,239
An impostore!
466
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,114
A charlatan! A sham!
467
00:43:38,443 --> 00:43:39,945
A counterfeit.
468
00:43:47,452 --> 00:43:50,797
O, villain, villain,
smiling, damned villain!
469
00:43:50,955 --> 00:43:53,128
Who calls me a villain?
Breaks my pate across?
470
00:43:53,291 --> 00:43:54,463
- Bloodshed.
- Plucks off my beard,
471
00:43:54,625 --> 00:43:58,425
- and blows it in my face?
- If I must strike you dead, I will.
472
00:44:08,514 --> 00:44:09,561
No!
473
00:44:09,891 --> 00:44:13,145
No, no, no, no, no, no!
474
00:44:14,854 --> 00:44:16,606
Give me that sword.
475
00:44:17,523 --> 00:44:19,696
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone?
476
00:44:19,859 --> 00:44:22,578
- He's only a child.
- No excuse.
477
00:44:23,362 --> 00:44:26,366
Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
478
00:44:26,532 --> 00:44:29,706
A faker! A phony!
479
00:44:29,869 --> 00:44:31,587
An utter fraud!
480
00:44:31,996 --> 00:44:36,046
- A base, deceitful...
- Mr. Addams!
481
00:44:37,335 --> 00:44:40,555
I believe I am understanding.
I can help, yes?
482
00:44:41,172 --> 00:44:44,517
The theory of displacement.
483
00:44:45,176 --> 00:44:46,849
Is this familiar?
484
00:44:47,428 --> 00:44:48,680
No. Tish?
485
00:44:48,846 --> 00:44:51,349
Oh, it is too exciting.
486
00:44:51,724 --> 00:44:53,397
I will explain.
487
00:44:53,684 --> 00:44:55,652
Is it unpleasant?
488
00:44:56,354 --> 00:44:57,571
Deeply-
489
00:44:59,690 --> 00:45:03,786
Your very own brother,
you drive him away.
490
00:45:03,945 --> 00:45:05,743
"Go. Off with you."
491
00:45:06,114 --> 00:45:09,960
But then you are feeling
the little black monster.
492
00:45:10,118 --> 00:45:12,621
- Pugsley.
- Guilt. Yes?
493
00:45:13,287 --> 00:45:16,382
Your brother returns, you feel guilty,
494
00:45:16,541 --> 00:45:19,135
- you displace.
- I do?
495
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:23,181
The feelings in your brain cells,
they bubble and collide.
496
00:45:23,881 --> 00:45:26,384
You suspect things.
497
00:45:26,551 --> 00:45:29,270
You love him, but you resent him.
498
00:45:29,762 --> 00:45:31,890
Love, hate. Hate, love.
499
00:45:32,932 --> 00:45:34,605
Like for Mama. No?
500
00:45:35,101 --> 00:45:38,025
But I didn't hate my mother,
it was an accident.
501
00:45:38,187 --> 00:45:42,613
It's a very common psychosis,
I'm seeing it every day.
502
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:44,402
Lucky doctor.
503
00:45:44,944 --> 00:45:48,289
Displacement. How bizarre.
504
00:45:48,447 --> 00:45:51,291
And here I thought
Fester was the problem.
505
00:45:51,951 --> 00:45:53,294
- He's sullen.
- He's furtive.
506
00:45:53,452 --> 00:45:54,578
- Backstabbing.
- He sulks.
507
00:45:54,745 --> 00:45:56,185
- I suspect him.
- You're unbalanced.
508
00:45:56,247 --> 00:45:59,797
And I hate him. By God, you're right!
509
00:46:00,293 --> 00:46:01,966
He is Fester!
510
00:46:02,336 --> 00:46:04,589
Thank you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
511
00:46:05,131 --> 00:46:06,758
I do what I can.
512
00:46:06,924 --> 00:46:09,677
You see, children,
there's lots to learn.
513
00:46:13,806 --> 00:46:15,183
"Gangrene."
514
00:46:17,143 --> 00:46:19,271
Uncle Fester,
how do you know so much?
515
00:46:19,437 --> 00:46:21,986
I've been around. I pick things up.
516
00:46:22,315 --> 00:46:24,283
In the Bermuda Triangle?
517
00:46:26,194 --> 00:46:28,447
Look, children, a new chapter.
518
00:46:28,946 --> 00:46:31,290
- "Scabs."
- "Scabs."
519
00:46:38,372 --> 00:46:41,626
Three parts dynamite
with a nitroglycerin cap.
520
00:46:41,834 --> 00:46:45,589
It's perfect for small holes,
carports and tool sheds.
521
00:46:52,428 --> 00:46:53,645
Mother.
522
00:46:54,472 --> 00:46:56,941
Everyone will be
at the children's play tonight, correct?
523
00:46:57,099 --> 00:46:59,101
Oh, yes. I've been working with them.
524
00:46:59,268 --> 00:47:01,771
- It's going to be fun.
- Fun?
525
00:47:03,606 --> 00:47:06,200
Is that what we're here for? Fun?
526
00:47:07,026 --> 00:47:09,654
Darling, forgive me.
You see what they've driven me to?
527
00:47:09,820 --> 00:47:13,199
I've raised a hand to my child,
my reason for living.
528
00:47:15,076 --> 00:47:18,797
- You can't go to the play.
- But the kids...
529
00:47:18,955 --> 00:47:21,458
The house will be deserted.
The vault will be ours.
530
00:47:21,624 --> 00:47:23,001
But, Mother...
531
00:47:24,460 --> 00:47:26,554
Can you hear it, my treasure?
532
00:47:26,712 --> 00:47:29,306
My heartbeat. It beats only for you.
533
00:47:29,465 --> 00:47:32,218
Listen closely.
It says, "Gordon, I love you,
534
00:47:32,385 --> 00:47:34,479
"Gordon, the vault."
535
00:47:35,596 --> 00:47:37,098
I do hear it.
536
00:47:37,431 --> 00:47:41,402
Soon we'll have the money
and we'll be far from here.
537
00:47:41,811 --> 00:47:44,906
Loving mother, grateful son.
538
00:47:45,564 --> 00:47:46,690
Understood?
539
00:47:52,822 --> 00:47:54,916
There you are, at last.
540
00:47:56,117 --> 00:47:58,836
What a fool I was to doubt you.
541
00:47:58,995 --> 00:48:01,748
Dr. Pinder-Schloss
explained everything.
542
00:48:01,914 --> 00:48:04,258
What a lovely woman. So chilly.
543
00:48:04,667 --> 00:48:07,796
Displacement. It's a common psychosis.
544
00:48:07,962 --> 00:48:10,056
- Isn't that grand?
- Is it?
545
00:48:11,090 --> 00:48:12,808
Look at it, Fester.
546
00:48:12,967 --> 00:48:17,313
The primeval ooze.
Quicksand, fumes, toxic waste.
547
00:48:17,471 --> 00:48:21,601
It's all ours, Fester.
You belong here, old man.
548
00:48:21,934 --> 00:48:24,733
- Stay.
- You don't know what you're asking.
549
00:48:25,479 --> 00:48:28,949
You have a beautiful wife,
wonderful children,
550
00:48:29,775 --> 00:48:31,243
a wasteland.
551
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:33,913
I'm in the way.
552
00:48:34,613 --> 00:48:35,785
In the way?
553
00:48:36,615 --> 00:48:39,289
- My brother'?
- Gomez, take care!
554
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,964
For you, life is all fun and games.
555
00:48:44,790 --> 00:48:47,885
A dance in a graveyard. Stench. Decay.
556
00:48:48,419 --> 00:48:51,923
- But things change.
- Precisely. You're back.
557
00:48:52,965 --> 00:48:55,809
All those years apart, Fester.
558
00:48:56,427 --> 00:48:58,304
We can't do that again.
559
00:49:01,098 --> 00:49:02,691
You're home.
560
00:49:26,499 --> 00:49:27,671
Fore!
561
00:49:32,129 --> 00:49:34,006
Damn you, Addams!
562
00:49:40,304 --> 00:49:41,601
Uncle Fester?
563
00:49:41,764 --> 00:49:44,517
Come on, Uncle Fester.
Come to the play.
564
00:49:45,267 --> 00:49:47,190
I said I was busy.
565
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,866
But you said you'd help us,
with the Shakespeare and the pus.
566
00:49:52,024 --> 00:49:53,697
I changed my mind.
567
00:50:08,499 --> 00:50:11,173
Mrs. Addams,
can I see you for a moment?
568
00:50:12,336 --> 00:50:14,805
I'm Susan Firkins.
I'm Wednesday's teacher.
569
00:50:14,964 --> 00:50:16,466
Oh, of course, Miss Firkins.
570
00:50:16,632 --> 00:50:19,226
Wednesday's told us
so much about you.
571
00:50:27,852 --> 00:50:32,574
Wednesday is an excellent student,
but, frankly, I'm concerned.
572
00:50:32,731 --> 00:50:35,109
You see,
this is our class bulletin board.
573
00:50:35,276 --> 00:50:39,827
This month, our theme is our heroes,
people we love and admire.
574
00:50:40,281 --> 00:50:43,205
You see, Susan Ringo
has chosen the President.
575
00:50:43,367 --> 00:50:44,869
Isn't that sweet?
576
00:50:45,369 --> 00:50:48,543
And Harmony Feld
has picked Jane Pauley.
577
00:50:50,499 --> 00:50:52,797
Have you spoken to her parents?
578
00:50:53,544 --> 00:50:56,923
But Wednesday brought in this picture,
579
00:50:57,089 --> 00:50:59,012
Calpurnia Addams.
580
00:50:59,467 --> 00:51:02,346
Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia.
581
00:51:02,511 --> 00:51:05,264
She was burned as a witch in 1706.
582
00:51:05,598 --> 00:51:08,522
They say she danced naked
in the town square
583
00:51:08,684 --> 00:51:10,686
and enslaved a minister.
584
00:51:11,437 --> 00:51:13,610
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
585
00:51:14,273 --> 00:51:18,699
But don't worry.
We've told Wednesday, college first.
586
00:51:19,904 --> 00:51:22,953
Isn't he adorable?
587
00:51:23,574 --> 00:51:26,748
- I made this myself.
- It's charming.
588
00:51:26,911 --> 00:51:28,663
What is he, a lizard?
589
00:51:29,163 --> 00:51:30,415
An elf.
590
00:51:31,540 --> 00:51:33,213
Look at you.
591
00:51:39,715 --> 00:51:41,558
That's better.
592
00:51:41,926 --> 00:51:44,600
You are too precious for words.
593
00:51:44,762 --> 00:51:47,356
Why, I could just eat you alive.
594
00:51:47,765 --> 00:51:49,938
Oh, no, Margaret. Too young.
595
00:52:21,507 --> 00:52:24,761
Wednesday. Pugsley.
I changed my mind.
596
00:52:25,636 --> 00:52:27,138
Uncle Fester.
597
00:52:33,769 --> 00:52:35,771
Gordon? Gordon?
598
00:52:36,855 --> 00:52:38,277
It's Mother.
599
00:52:41,443 --> 00:52:43,286
Damn it, where is he?
600
00:52:44,154 --> 00:52:46,498
I never should have used him.
601
00:52:56,917 --> 00:52:59,636
I knew you couldn't stay away, old man.
602
00:53:19,231 --> 00:53:20,483
Damn it.
603
00:53:21,817 --> 00:53:24,195
Gordon! Gordon!
604
00:53:24,361 --> 00:53:25,863
Are you there?
605
00:53:27,448 --> 00:53:28,745
Gordon.
606
00:53:33,245 --> 00:53:35,748
My goodness! Say! Look!
Would somebody come here!
607
00:53:35,914 --> 00:53:37,712
Oh, my! Oh, good...
608
00:53:38,459 --> 00:53:39,881
Oh, my!
609
00:53:41,253 --> 00:53:43,130
How all occasions
do inform against me,
610
00:53:43,297 --> 00:53:45,015
And spur my dull revenge!
611
00:53:45,174 --> 00:53:46,391
O, from this time forth,
612
00:53:46,550 --> 00:53:48,473
My thoughts be bloody,
or nothing worth!
613
00:53:48,636 --> 00:53:51,139
If I must strike you dead, I will.
614
00:53:54,391 --> 00:53:55,563
A hit,
615
00:53:56,143 --> 00:53:58,612
a very palpable hit.
616
00:54:09,281 --> 00:54:11,079
O proud death,
617
00:54:11,241 --> 00:54:14,120
What feast is toward
in thine eternal cell?
618
00:54:16,413 --> 00:54:19,758
Sweet oblivion, open your arms!
619
00:54:37,309 --> 00:54:38,652
Bravo!
620
00:54:40,312 --> 00:54:42,781
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
621
00:54:43,315 --> 00:54:45,113
Bravo!
622
00:54:47,569 --> 00:54:49,116
Bravo!
623
00:54:49,446 --> 00:54:50,618
Bravo!
624
00:54:50,823 --> 00:54:53,747
There were sailors, pirates
625
00:54:54,576 --> 00:54:58,251
and a plane full of tourists
from Miami Beach,
626
00:54:58,956 --> 00:55:01,050
all lost in the Triangle.
627
00:55:01,583 --> 00:55:04,587
Uncle Fester,
will you take me there someday?
628
00:55:04,837 --> 00:55:06,384
It's a promise.
629
00:55:07,297 --> 00:55:08,924
- Good night, Wednesday.
- Good night.
630
00:55:09,091 --> 00:55:10,764
You were terrific.
631
00:55:13,053 --> 00:55:14,521
Uncle Fester?
632
00:55:36,368 --> 00:55:38,166
A theatrical triumph.
633
00:55:38,954 --> 00:55:40,627
It's like a dream.
634
00:55:41,039 --> 00:55:44,384
When we first met,
it was an evening much like this.
635
00:55:45,002 --> 00:55:46,629
Magic in the air.
636
00:55:47,713 --> 00:55:48,885
A boy.
637
00:55:49,673 --> 00:55:50,890
A girl.
638
00:55:51,633 --> 00:55:53,135
An open grave.
639
00:55:53,886 --> 00:55:55,854
It was my first funeral.
640
00:55:56,638 --> 00:55:58,732
You were so beautiful.
641
00:55:59,516 --> 00:56:01,359
Pale and mysterious.
642
00:56:02,394 --> 00:56:04,772
No one even looked at the corpse.
643
00:56:05,272 --> 00:56:07,240
Your cousin, Balthazar.
644
00:56:07,900 --> 00:56:09,902
You were still a suspect.
645
00:56:11,278 --> 00:56:14,908
I couldn't stop staring at you
all through the eulogy.
646
00:56:16,241 --> 00:56:19,711
Your eyes, your moustache,
647
00:56:21,079 --> 00:56:22,422
your laugh.
648
00:56:24,249 --> 00:56:25,922
You bewitched me.
649
00:56:27,336 --> 00:56:29,430
I proposed that very night.
650
00:56:30,422 --> 00:56:34,097
Just think,
someday we'll be buried here
651
00:56:34,718 --> 00:56:37,517
side by side, six feet under
652
00:56:37,888 --> 00:56:39,765
in matching coffins.
653
00:56:40,766 --> 00:56:42,939
Our lifeless bodies
654
00:56:43,101 --> 00:56:47,197
rotting together for all eternity.
655
00:56:49,566 --> 00:56:51,113
Cara mia.
656
00:56:52,611 --> 00:56:54,238
Mon sauvage.
657
00:57:25,102 --> 00:57:26,820
Hey, Bigfoot.
658
00:57:31,275 --> 00:57:33,494
Don't stare. Just get me out.
659
00:57:40,242 --> 00:57:41,243
Did you like the blood?
660
00:57:42,786 --> 00:57:45,414
- I was so proud.
- Weren't we all?
661
00:57:46,248 --> 00:57:48,501
Wednesday, play with your food.
662
00:57:56,466 --> 00:57:57,638
Mama.
663
00:57:57,801 --> 00:57:59,599
Who put this in here?
664
00:58:02,598 --> 00:58:05,147
- That's for company.
Rascals.
665
00:58:06,059 --> 00:58:08,938
Doctor, you were so right.
666
00:58:09,104 --> 00:58:11,857
- What an evening.
- Fester fit right in.
667
00:58:12,024 --> 00:58:15,324
- The displacement is over.
- Well, isn't that nice.
668
00:58:15,527 --> 00:58:19,077
- Does he really have to go?
- Yes, he does.
669
00:58:19,239 --> 00:58:22,413
Well, if he insists upon leaving,
670
00:58:22,868 --> 00:58:25,087
we shall mark the occasion.
671
00:58:25,871 --> 00:58:27,043
Tish?
672
00:58:27,205 --> 00:58:31,802
- We've planned a farewell party.
- We've invited the entire clan.
673
00:58:32,252 --> 00:58:34,300
What a lovely gesture.
674
00:58:34,546 --> 00:58:36,264
We're a family again
675
00:58:36,423 --> 00:58:38,801
and we owe it all to you,
Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
676
00:58:38,967 --> 00:58:41,265
Please. Greta.
677
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:42,812
Greta.
678
00:58:44,056 --> 00:58:46,229
Fester, walk me out.
679
00:58:50,812 --> 00:58:54,567
I'm fine, Mother.
I'm completely in control.
680
00:58:54,733 --> 00:58:57,077
They're not your family, Gordon. I am.
681
00:58:57,235 --> 00:58:58,987
They don't love you. I do.
682
00:58:59,154 --> 00:59:02,579
They're evil and corrupt and degraded.
683
00:59:02,741 --> 00:59:05,961
- I can give you that.
- I'm fine. Really.
684
00:59:06,328 --> 00:59:08,171
We'll see. Open up!
685
00:59:37,275 --> 00:59:38,572
A party?
686
00:59:39,403 --> 00:59:40,575
For me?
687
00:59:41,989 --> 00:59:43,081
Here?
688
00:59:50,580 --> 00:59:54,756
Tish, how long has it been
since we've waltzed?
689
00:59:55,669 --> 00:59:57,091
Oh, Gomez.
690
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:02,972
Hours.
691
01:01:10,368 --> 01:01:11,790
It, old man!
692
01:01:14,331 --> 01:01:16,584
You're right. Far too long.
693
01:01:23,006 --> 01:01:25,850
- Don't let me out of your sight.
- Don't threaten me, Margaret.
694
01:01:26,009 --> 01:01:29,013
- These people are abnormal.
- Don't exaggerate.
695
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,359
Oh, by all means!
They're clients, Margaret.
696
01:01:45,904 --> 01:01:48,327
- Wednesday?
- Yes, Mother?
697
01:01:48,490 --> 01:01:51,994
Would you run upstairs
and check on your uncle, please?
698
01:01:53,161 --> 01:01:56,210
Why, Lumpy Addams. Look at you.
699
01:01:57,082 --> 01:01:58,550
All grown up.
700
01:02:10,971 --> 01:02:12,439
Uncle Fester?
701
01:02:15,433 --> 01:02:17,435
- I understand.
- I hope so.
702
01:02:17,602 --> 01:02:18,899
And I'm counting on you.
703
01:02:19,062 --> 01:02:21,690
Don't let me down. Don't buckle.
704
01:02:21,857 --> 01:02:24,701
It's not gonna be easy.
There are people everywhere.
705
01:02:24,860 --> 01:02:27,579
You can do it if you just stop whining.
706
01:02:28,238 --> 01:02:30,741
Nobody likes that. It's unattractive.
707
01:02:30,907 --> 01:02:35,413
All right. Fine.
I will try and reach the vault tonight.
708
01:02:35,871 --> 01:02:39,296
But if I can't, well, then that's it.
709
01:02:40,417 --> 01:02:41,885
Okay, Mother?
710
01:02:42,210 --> 01:02:44,929
I knew it. You are a fake.
711
01:02:45,213 --> 01:02:47,466
Come here, my little one.
712
01:02:47,632 --> 01:02:49,430
- Wednesday!
- Get her!
713
01:03:35,055 --> 01:03:38,150
Flora and Fauna Amor.
714
01:03:39,392 --> 01:03:41,065
I cannot see.
715
01:03:41,436 --> 01:03:44,189
I am blinded by such beauty.
716
01:03:44,356 --> 01:03:45,448
Gomez Addams.
717
01:03:45,607 --> 01:03:47,325
- You terrible flirt.
- Always was.
718
01:03:47,484 --> 01:03:48,656
- At least with me.
- Copycat!
719
01:03:48,818 --> 01:03:52,197
- Tag-along!
- Why, Gomez, the Amor twins.
720
01:03:52,447 --> 01:03:54,870
- I've heard so much about you.
- Morticia...
721
01:03:55,033 --> 01:03:56,751
- You nabbed him.
- This darling man.
722
01:03:56,910 --> 01:03:58,583
- He was mine!
- He was mine!
723
01:03:58,745 --> 01:04:01,123
Flora, Fauna, how can I compete?
724
01:04:01,498 --> 01:04:03,717
You're twice the woman I am.
725
01:04:04,042 --> 01:04:06,591
Tully, the Amor twins.
726
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,594
They're waiting for Fester. Amuse them.
727
01:04:12,050 --> 01:04:14,599
- Hello, Tully.
- Oh, my God.
728
01:04:20,850 --> 01:04:23,854
You mean you don't know?
It's too intriguing.
729
01:04:24,020 --> 01:04:27,399
Now that Fester's back,
he's king of the castle again, isn't he?
730
01:04:27,565 --> 01:04:29,988
Fester's the older brother,
so he gets it all.
731
01:04:30,151 --> 01:04:32,199
The house, the money, you name it.
732
01:04:32,362 --> 01:04:34,239
Fester's still single, isn't he?
733
01:04:34,406 --> 01:04:37,080
- Are you, Mr. Alford?
- Why, Fauna.
734
01:04:37,242 --> 01:04:39,836
- I'm Fauna.
- I'm Flora.
735
01:04:41,204 --> 01:04:44,424
I'm flattered. Excuse me, ladies.
736
01:04:49,587 --> 01:04:52,841
I can't find her anywhere.
Let's just leave.
737
01:04:53,258 --> 01:04:55,431
- Out the back.
- Now pull yourself together.
738
01:04:55,593 --> 01:04:57,345
She'll turn up, the little cockroach.
739
01:04:57,512 --> 01:04:59,472
You get to the party
or they'll suspect something.
740
01:04:59,556 --> 01:05:01,854
- I'll be down soon.
- Yes, Mother.
741
01:05:09,107 --> 01:05:12,236
Everyone, your attention, please.
742
01:05:16,740 --> 01:05:20,335
Tonight we dance
for our treasured guest of honor,
743
01:05:20,493 --> 01:05:21,995
Fester Addams.
744
01:05:24,581 --> 01:05:27,585
The mamushka!
745
01:05:29,252 --> 01:05:32,256
Taught to us by our Cossack cousins,
746
01:05:32,422 --> 01:05:35,346
the mamushka has been
an Addams' family tradition
747
01:05:35,508 --> 01:05:37,135
since God knows when.
748
01:05:37,302 --> 01:05:40,146
We danced the mamushka
while Nero fiddled.
749
01:05:40,305 --> 01:05:43,058
We danced the mamushka at Waterloo.
750
01:05:43,475 --> 01:05:47,446
We danced the mamushka
for Jack the Ripper.
751
01:05:48,104 --> 01:05:50,948
And now, Fester Addams,
752
01:05:51,483 --> 01:05:55,613
this mamushka is for you.
753
01:06:17,509 --> 01:06:22,015
- Where are you going? There's trouble.
- Hey! Not to worry. Plan B.
754
01:06:22,180 --> 01:06:24,683
- But that hideous little girl knows...
- I'm in charge.
755
01:06:24,849 --> 01:06:26,897
Ten minutes, I'll be back.
756
01:07:22,365 --> 01:07:25,118
Mamushka, mamushka
757
01:07:25,285 --> 01:07:26,753
He comes for his mamushka
758
01:07:26,911 --> 01:07:28,288
With a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey
759
01:07:28,455 --> 01:07:29,975
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey
760
01:07:30,123 --> 01:07:31,643
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey
761
01:07:31,708 --> 01:07:33,588
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey and a...
762
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:36,133
Wait!
763
01:07:38,256 --> 01:07:42,261
I swear by Mummy
764
01:07:42,427 --> 01:07:44,555
And Daddums
765
01:07:45,054 --> 01:07:47,898
This detestable Fester's
766
01:07:48,057 --> 01:07:51,561
The echt Fester Addams
767
01:07:53,229 --> 01:07:56,950
So hey, hey, hey, he)!
Hey, hey, hey, hey
768
01:07:57,108 --> 01:08:00,908
Let's dance the dance of brotherly love!
769
01:08:01,070 --> 01:08:02,447
Mamushka!
770
01:08:06,117 --> 01:08:08,586
What the hell's going on over there?
771
01:08:08,745 --> 01:08:12,170
How would you like to be rid
of the Addamses for good?
772
01:08:13,124 --> 01:08:16,469
- I'm serious.
- What can I do for you?
773
01:08:18,630 --> 01:08:21,349
You are gonna love this.
774
01:08:24,260 --> 01:08:27,389
We've been married
for almost 20 years.
775
01:08:28,973 --> 01:08:31,192
Sometimes it seems like more.
776
01:08:34,145 --> 01:08:37,820
Well, people grow. People change.
777
01:08:48,660 --> 01:08:50,788
Isn't it a beautiful night?
778
01:08:55,625 --> 01:08:58,219
You'll come see me before you leave,
won't you, Fester?
779
01:08:58,378 --> 01:09:00,176
I'll call once I'm alone.
780
01:09:00,338 --> 01:09:02,432
There's your ride, girls.
781
01:09:14,394 --> 01:09:18,319
You're a marvelous dancer.
It's been such fun.
782
01:09:21,484 --> 01:09:24,203
I can't. We mustn't.
783
01:09:30,827 --> 01:09:31,874
Call me!
784
01:09:32,036 --> 01:09:34,038
Mamushka, mamushka
785
01:09:34,205 --> 01:09:36,549
I swallowed with one whoosh-ka!
786
01:09:36,708 --> 01:09:38,085
And a hey and a hey
787
01:09:38,251 --> 01:09:40,424
And a hey and a hey and a hey
788
01:09:41,045 --> 01:09:42,513
Hey, hey!
789
01:09:43,548 --> 01:09:46,722
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
790
01:09:46,884 --> 01:09:47,885
Gordon.
791
01:09:48,052 --> 01:09:49,053
Hey. Hey, hey
792
01:09:49,220 --> 01:09:50,221
Gordon, Gordon, stop it.
793
01:09:50,388 --> 01:09:51,389
Gordon, no.
794
01:09:51,556 --> 01:09:52,557
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
795
01:09:52,724 --> 01:09:53,725
Stop it, Gordon. Stop it!
796
01:09:53,891 --> 01:09:55,564
Stop it, this instant.
797
01:09:56,352 --> 01:09:59,572
- Is that lipstick all over your face?
- From the twins.
798
01:09:59,731 --> 01:10:02,484
The beauteous Amor twins.
799
01:10:02,650 --> 01:10:03,993
The twins?
800
01:10:04,152 --> 01:10:06,905
Gordon, I don't understand this.
Let me get this clear.
801
01:10:07,071 --> 01:10:11,042
- Have you been having a good time?
- Yes! I have!
802
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:12,827
It was marvelous.
803
01:10:12,994 --> 01:10:16,840
I sang up a storm
and danced till I dropped!
804
01:10:17,081 --> 01:10:20,585
The mamushka! The mamushka!
805
01:10:20,752 --> 01:10:25,383
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey and a hey
806
01:10:27,967 --> 01:10:30,470
- Mother?
- Mother? Mother? Who is that?
807
01:10:30,637 --> 01:10:33,686
- I don't think I recall.
- Mother, please.
808
01:10:33,848 --> 01:10:36,317
I'm just fine. I'm dandy.
809
01:10:36,726 --> 01:10:39,229
Don't concern yourself
about me, Gordon.
810
01:10:39,395 --> 01:10:42,524
Please, return to your depraved orgy.
811
01:10:43,149 --> 01:10:45,993
Sometimes I think
you're not even my son.
812
01:10:46,152 --> 01:10:49,156
- Don't say that.
- I'm just your mother.
813
01:10:49,322 --> 01:10:52,872
You only owe me
your entire existence on this planet.
814
01:10:53,326 --> 01:10:56,705
Please, Gordon, by all means,
go sing, dance, date.
815
01:10:56,871 --> 01:11:00,216
Oh, Mother, I'm so terribly sorry.
816
01:11:04,003 --> 01:11:06,552
It was just a party. It's over.
817
01:11:07,465 --> 01:11:09,092
It means nothing.
818
01:11:09,592 --> 01:11:12,937
The Siamese twins, the hunchback,
Cousin It,
819
01:11:13,554 --> 01:11:15,056
they're not you.
820
01:11:15,223 --> 01:11:17,726
Say it, Gordon. Make me believe it.
821
01:11:18,226 --> 01:11:21,571
I love you. And I want money.
822
01:11:22,230 --> 01:11:24,153
We've got to find Tully.
823
01:11:29,070 --> 01:11:31,619
Look, our little boy.
824
01:11:32,073 --> 01:11:33,575
All tuckered out.
825
01:11:33,741 --> 01:11:37,746
It's so sweet.
He looks just like a little entrée.
826
01:11:39,288 --> 01:11:42,417
- Where's the party?
- It's over, darling.
827
01:11:43,126 --> 01:11:46,926
- Have you seen your sister?
- Not since before the mamushka.
828
01:11:47,714 --> 01:11:48,886
Gomez.
829
01:11:49,549 --> 01:11:52,302
Fan out.
Pugsley, head for the dung heap.
830
01:11:52,468 --> 01:11:55,062
Mama and Morticia, the shallow graves.
I'll take the abyss.
831
01:11:55,221 --> 01:11:57,565
Lurch, check out the bottomless pit.
832
01:11:57,724 --> 01:11:59,317
- Fester?
- Up here!
833
01:11:59,892 --> 01:12:04,523
Fester, you take the ravine
and the unmarked abandoned well.
834
01:12:04,689 --> 01:12:08,660
Someone should stay behind
in case she comes back.
835
01:12:09,235 --> 01:12:10,987
Good man. Good thinking!
836
01:12:11,154 --> 01:12:13,282
Then who'll take the swamp?
837
01:12:16,617 --> 01:12:19,962
That's the spirit, Thing. Lend a hand.
Let's go!
838
01:12:27,295 --> 01:12:28,467
Gordon!
839
01:12:29,380 --> 01:12:30,927
Don't dawdle.
840
01:12:42,477 --> 01:12:45,276
- What are you doing?
- I'm relaxing.
841
01:12:46,397 --> 01:12:49,697
- Taking a little sun.
- Have you gone mad?
842
01:12:59,285 --> 01:13:01,162
Wednesday!
843
01:13:03,873 --> 01:13:05,921
Wednesday!
844
01:13:08,252 --> 01:13:09,879
Wednesday!
845
01:13:10,922 --> 01:13:12,674
Wednesday!
846
01:13:50,086 --> 01:13:53,260
- What is all this?
- This is a restraining order.
847
01:13:53,422 --> 01:13:55,095
- A restraining order?
- Yes.
848
01:13:55,258 --> 01:13:59,229
It requires you
to keep a distance of 1,000 yards
849
01:13:59,387 --> 01:14:00,388
from this house.
850
01:14:00,555 --> 01:14:02,774
I am restrained from my own house?
851
01:14:02,932 --> 01:14:05,560
Not your house, mustache.
Not anymore.
852
01:14:05,726 --> 01:14:08,229
It belongs to
the oldest living descendant,
853
01:14:08,396 --> 01:14:11,616
the elder brother, Fester Addams.
854
01:14:11,774 --> 01:14:14,903
- Fester adores Gomez.
- No, no, he's afraid of him.
855
01:14:15,069 --> 01:14:18,539
Seeing the twins brought it all back.
You're bitter rivals, Gomez.
856
01:14:18,698 --> 01:14:21,952
- I demand to speak with Fester.
- Sorry. No can do.
857
01:14:22,577 --> 01:14:25,046
He's very hurt. Just leave.
858
01:14:27,623 --> 01:14:29,921
But he isn't even Uncle Fester.
859
01:14:33,546 --> 01:14:36,595
Have no fear. Justice shall prevail.
860
01:14:37,133 --> 01:14:39,056
The courts will decide.
861
01:14:39,552 --> 01:14:43,398
They say a man who represents himself
has a fool for a client.
862
01:14:43,556 --> 01:14:45,900
Well, with God as my witness,
863
01:14:46,058 --> 01:14:48,106
I am that fool!
864
01:14:48,895 --> 01:14:53,071
Therefore, it is with no small amount
of personal satisfaction
865
01:14:53,649 --> 01:14:58,155
that I declare Fester Addams
legal executor of the Addams estate
866
01:14:58,404 --> 01:15:01,533
and rightful owner of all possessions
867
01:15:01,699 --> 01:15:05,749
and properties contained therein,
with one exception.
868
01:15:05,912 --> 01:15:07,710
Gomez Addams,
869
01:15:08,247 --> 01:15:12,127
I believe these are yours.
870
01:16:51,142 --> 01:16:54,487
- You are doing this on purpose.
- That's right, Mother. Isn't this fun?
871
01:16:54,645 --> 01:16:56,397
I'll race you back.
872
01:16:58,399 --> 01:17:00,993
Yes, we've been forced from our home.
873
01:17:01,610 --> 01:17:04,739
Yes, we've been betrayed
by those we trusted,
874
01:17:05,197 --> 01:17:08,622
but we are Addamses,
and we will not submit.
875
01:17:10,286 --> 01:17:13,540
Who recalls the fable
of The Tortoise and the Hare?
876
01:17:13,914 --> 01:17:17,134
The swift yet lazy little cottontail
877
01:17:17,293 --> 01:17:19,921
and his slow
but determined companion?
878
01:17:20,588 --> 01:17:22,215
What does this story teach us?
879
01:17:22,381 --> 01:17:25,180
Kill the hare! Skin it. Boil it.
880
01:17:25,342 --> 01:17:28,095
- Put the tortoise on the highway.
- During rush hour.
881
01:17:28,262 --> 01:17:31,186
Yes. We will survive.
882
01:17:31,891 --> 01:17:35,566
Poison us. Strangle us.
Break our bones.
883
01:17:35,728 --> 01:17:37,822
We will come back for more.
884
01:17:38,606 --> 01:17:39,983
And why?
885
01:17:40,149 --> 01:17:43,574
- Because we like it.
- Because we're Addamses.
886
01:17:43,736 --> 01:17:45,283
We're Addamses.
887
01:17:53,162 --> 01:17:55,210
Here, Lurch. On the house.
888
01:18:12,932 --> 01:18:16,402
We have so many homemakers
re-entering the workforce.
889
01:18:16,560 --> 01:18:19,404
Your domestic skills
can be very valuable.
890
01:18:19,563 --> 01:18:22,237
- College?
- Private tutors.
891
01:18:23,234 --> 01:18:25,407
- Major?
- Spells and hexes.
892
01:18:26,570 --> 01:18:28,072
Liberal Arts.
893
01:18:28,864 --> 01:18:32,243
What about your husband?
Is he currently employed?
894
01:18:33,494 --> 01:18:36,213
He's going through a bad patch
at the moment,
895
01:18:36,372 --> 01:18:37,874
but it's not his fault.
896
01:18:38,040 --> 01:18:39,542
Of course not.
897
01:18:40,709 --> 01:18:43,258
What is he, a loafer?
A hopeless layabout?
898
01:18:43,420 --> 01:18:45,218
A shiftless dreamer?
899
01:18:47,383 --> 01:18:48,851
Not anymore.
900
01:18:54,723 --> 01:18:57,567
- Is this made from real lemons?
- Yes.
901
01:18:57,893 --> 01:19:00,567
I only like all-natural
fruits and beverages
902
01:19:00,729 --> 01:19:03,528
organically grown with no preservatives.
903
01:19:03,858 --> 01:19:06,907
- Are you sure they're real lemons?
- Yes.
904
01:19:07,361 --> 01:19:09,409
Well, I'll tell you what.
905
01:19:09,572 --> 01:19:10,698
I'll buy a cup
906
01:19:10,865 --> 01:19:13,869
if you buy a box
of my delicious Girl Scout cookies.
907
01:19:14,034 --> 01:19:15,456
Do we have a deal?
908
01:19:15,619 --> 01:19:18,168
Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
909
01:19:30,426 --> 01:19:32,849
And so,
the witch lured Hansel and Gretel
910
01:19:33,012 --> 01:19:36,642
into the candy house
by promising them more sweets.
911
01:19:36,891 --> 01:19:39,189
And she told them to look in the oven.
912
01:19:39,351 --> 01:19:43,072
And she was about to push them in
when, lo and behold,
913
01:19:43,439 --> 01:19:46,534
Hansel pushed the poor,
defenseless witch
914
01:19:46,692 --> 01:19:50,413
into the oven instead,
where she was burned alive,
915
01:19:50,571 --> 01:19:52,244
writhing in agony.
916
01:19:55,451 --> 01:19:59,752
Now, boys and girls,
what do you think that feels like?
917
01:20:53,676 --> 01:20:55,349
Welcome to the show.
918
01:20:55,511 --> 01:20:57,184
Voodoo witch doctors
here in the United States.
919
01:20:57,346 --> 01:20:58,347
Here, kitty, kitty.
920
01:20:58,514 --> 01:21:02,894
Do they really exist
or is this just tabloid hooey?
921
01:21:03,060 --> 01:21:05,154
We'd love you to call in
with your comments.
922
01:21:07,898 --> 01:21:10,151
After lunch, we'll try again.
923
01:21:11,652 --> 01:21:13,074
Yes, Mother.
924
01:21:16,865 --> 01:21:18,867
We'll find the money.
925
01:21:19,660 --> 01:21:22,834
Meanwhile, we have this little nest,
quiet and cozy
926
01:21:22,997 --> 01:21:25,466
without that dreadful family.
927
01:21:26,875 --> 01:21:28,297
Yes, Mother.
928
01:21:28,961 --> 01:21:31,805
So, you claim that your son
was brainwashed
929
01:21:31,964 --> 01:21:35,810
by voodoo witch doctors
and forced to recruit others.
930
01:21:36,385 --> 01:21:37,477
Let's take a call.
931
01:21:37,636 --> 01:21:39,058
Hello, Sally.
932
01:21:39,221 --> 01:21:41,815
Mr. Addams, please stop calling.
933
01:21:42,308 --> 01:21:44,151
We do not know where they meet.
934
01:21:44,310 --> 01:21:46,312
Let's take another call.
935
01:21:47,980 --> 01:21:50,733
Gomez, why don't we go for a drive?
936
01:21:51,233 --> 01:21:53,327
- The whole family.
- A drive?
937
01:21:54,320 --> 01:21:57,369
- And miss Gilligan?
- Dinner's gonna be late.
938
01:21:58,157 --> 01:22:00,159
Here, boy. Here, boy.
939
01:22:08,417 --> 01:22:09,634
Gordon.
940
01:22:10,794 --> 01:22:12,046
Gordon!
941
01:23:19,363 --> 01:23:22,162
I would like to
speak with Fester, please.
942
01:23:30,999 --> 01:23:35,049
You're a desperate woman
consumed by greed and bitterness.
943
01:23:35,712 --> 01:23:38,886
- We could have been such friends.
- Gordon, let's get started.
944
01:23:39,049 --> 01:23:40,551
- But, Mother...
- Stop stalling.
945
01:23:40,717 --> 01:23:43,516
I'm not stalling. Stop badgering me.
946
01:23:45,889 --> 01:23:49,735
- The vault, Mrs. Addams, any thoughts?
- None whatsoever.
947
01:23:49,893 --> 01:23:52,021
Tully, take over. Tighten it.
948
01:23:52,187 --> 01:23:53,905
But I got this stomach thing
when I torture people.
949
01:23:54,064 --> 01:23:55,236
Do it.
950
01:23:58,694 --> 01:23:59,866
Again.
951
01:24:08,620 --> 01:24:09,963
Tighter.
952
01:24:14,126 --> 01:24:16,128
You've done this before.
953
01:25:03,509 --> 01:25:06,638
Who is it?
We're paid through Thursday.
954
01:25:07,763 --> 01:25:09,481
Morticia.
955
01:25:09,932 --> 01:25:13,152
Morticia. Morticia what?
956
01:25:13,894 --> 01:25:16,943
Slow down!
It's terrible when you stutter.
957
01:25:30,285 --> 01:25:34,540
Morticia in danger.
958
01:25:35,123 --> 01:25:36,295
Stop.
959
01:25:36,458 --> 01:25:40,554
Send help at once. Stop!
960
01:25:43,215 --> 01:25:45,889
You can't! Not with red-hot pokers!
961
01:25:46,802 --> 01:25:49,430
- Is this gonna smell?
- Tully Alford,
962
01:25:49,596 --> 01:25:52,975
charlatan, deadbeat, parasite.
963
01:25:54,059 --> 01:25:56,061
How Gomez adored you.
964
01:25:56,228 --> 01:25:58,572
Well, not enough.
965
01:25:59,523 --> 01:26:02,652
Morticia, please.
966
01:26:02,818 --> 01:26:06,539
And dear Fester, which is the real you?
967
01:26:07,322 --> 01:26:10,417
The loathsome,
underhanded monster you've become
968
01:26:10,867 --> 01:26:14,337
or the loathsome, underhanded monster
we came to love?
969
01:26:14,538 --> 01:26:15,755
Don't ask me.
970
01:26:33,432 --> 01:26:35,776
I know what you're feeling, Fester.
971
01:26:35,934 --> 01:26:37,186
Gordon!
972
01:26:38,437 --> 01:26:41,862
Gordon, I have a thought.
Just a notion, top of my head.
973
01:26:42,024 --> 01:26:43,867
Tell me what you think?
974
01:26:44,026 --> 01:26:47,530
Since you and Mrs. Addams
are so very close,
975
01:26:49,239 --> 01:26:50,866
be my guest.
976
01:26:53,577 --> 01:26:54,874
Addams!
977
01:26:57,205 --> 01:26:59,082
Darling, take care.
978
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:02,844
Dirty pool, old man. Never again!
979
01:27:14,014 --> 01:27:15,687
One for you, Tully.
980
01:27:16,600 --> 01:27:17,943
And now...
981
01:27:27,986 --> 01:27:29,329
One for me.
982
01:27:29,488 --> 01:27:32,241
- Gomez, I'm on retainer.
- Let him up.
983
01:27:42,292 --> 01:27:45,136
That's right. Now get moving, Addams.
984
01:27:48,632 --> 01:27:50,509
Take him to the vault,
985
01:27:51,343 --> 01:27:53,892
and if you're not back in one hour,
986
01:27:54,680 --> 01:27:56,557
I displace her.
987
01:28:01,144 --> 01:28:04,023
Tish, seeing you like this,
988
01:28:04,189 --> 01:28:05,691
my blood boils.
989
01:28:05,857 --> 01:28:07,359
As does mine.
990
01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:11,364
- This wheel of pain.
- Our wheel.
991
01:28:11,530 --> 01:28:14,704
To live without you,
only that would be torture.
992
01:28:15,283 --> 01:28:18,787
A day alone, only that would be death.
993
01:28:21,123 --> 01:28:22,545
Knock it off.
994
01:28:24,376 --> 01:28:26,549
The vault, Addams, right now.
995
01:28:36,513 --> 01:28:39,312
- But, Mother, can't we...
- Can it, Gordon.
996
01:28:39,474 --> 01:28:42,819
Stop dragging your feet.
You disgust me!
997
01:28:43,520 --> 01:28:45,943
You're nothing
but a useless, sniveling baby.
998
01:28:46,106 --> 01:28:48,029
A stone around my neck.
999
01:28:48,358 --> 01:28:50,281
What was I thinking?
1000
01:28:50,444 --> 01:28:52,196
I should have left you
where I found you.
1001
01:28:53,488 --> 01:28:55,991
No tricks, Gomez!
1002
01:28:56,950 --> 01:28:58,952
That's the wrong book.
1003
01:29:08,211 --> 01:29:09,633
Allow me.
1004
01:29:12,424 --> 01:29:14,142
Good show, old man.
1005
01:29:16,887 --> 01:29:20,562
Put that book down, Gordon.
You don't know what it can do.
1006
01:29:21,391 --> 01:29:24,770
- It's not just literature.
- Oh, really?
1007
01:29:26,772 --> 01:29:27,864
Quickly, darling.
1008
01:29:28,023 --> 01:29:30,025
Gordon, I'm your friend.
1009
01:29:30,442 --> 01:29:34,367
- Think of the doubloons.
- They're not yours, Tully.
1010
01:29:35,030 --> 01:29:36,031
Back off!
1011
01:29:36,198 --> 01:29:39,122
Leather straps. Red-hot pokers.
1012
01:29:39,743 --> 01:29:41,120
Later, my dearest.
1013
01:29:41,286 --> 01:29:44,130
Keep the book closed, Gordon.
Listen to Mother.
1014
01:29:44,289 --> 01:29:48,089
I'll never listen to you,
never ever again.
1015
01:29:48,251 --> 01:29:51,551
I had to be strict with you
because I cared. Put it down!
1016
01:29:51,713 --> 01:29:54,057
You never really loved me.
1017
01:29:54,466 --> 01:29:55,558
Fester, this way!
1018
01:29:55,717 --> 01:29:57,357
Stop whining,
you little good-for-nothing.
1019
01:29:57,385 --> 01:29:58,807
Be a man!
1020
01:29:59,304 --> 01:30:02,399
You were a terrible mother!
1021
01:30:02,974 --> 01:30:05,227
There! I said it.
1022
01:30:56,528 --> 01:30:58,030
Are they dead?
1023
01:30:58,405 --> 01:31:00,032
Does it matter?
1024
01:31:18,008 --> 01:31:19,726
Trick or...
1025
01:31:24,556 --> 01:31:26,024
Here we come!
1026
01:31:26,725 --> 01:31:29,274
- Pugsley, old man.
- Why, look at you.
1027
01:31:33,815 --> 01:31:35,237
How do you like it?
1028
01:31:37,027 --> 01:31:40,076
What can I say?
He's gonna break hearts.
1029
01:31:40,238 --> 01:31:41,831
Trick or treat.
1030
01:31:44,159 --> 01:31:46,412
Hello, Margaret. Cousin It.
1031
01:31:46,578 --> 01:31:49,878
- I almost didn't recognize you.
- Isn't he handsome?
1032
01:31:50,332 --> 01:31:53,461
Everyone keeps asking
where he bought his costume.
1033
01:31:53,627 --> 01:31:55,220
It is a wonderful hat.
1034
01:31:56,421 --> 01:31:59,391
What are you, darling?
Where's your costume?
1035
01:31:59,549 --> 01:32:02,052
This is my costume.
I'm a homicidal maniac.
1036
01:32:02,218 --> 01:32:04,596
They look just like everyone else.
1037
01:32:09,142 --> 01:32:12,521
I'm so glad
I can spend this night with my family,
1038
01:32:12,687 --> 01:32:14,564
now that I've got my memory back.
1039
01:32:14,731 --> 01:32:18,907
Thank God for that lightning.
Knocked some sense into you.
1040
01:32:22,030 --> 01:32:23,577
You remember, old man.
1041
01:32:23,740 --> 01:32:25,993
Dr. Pinder-Schloss
really did find Fester
1042
01:32:26,159 --> 01:32:28,833
tangled in a tuna net 25 years ago,
1043
01:32:29,371 --> 01:32:30,839
with amnesia.
1044
01:32:30,997 --> 01:32:33,045
From the Bermuda Triangle.
1045
01:32:36,419 --> 01:32:39,263
How true.
Stranger things have happened.
1046
01:32:39,422 --> 01:32:41,220
Please, Uncle Fester.
1047
01:32:42,050 --> 01:32:44,394
- Pugsley.
- For the picture.
1048
01:32:51,518 --> 01:32:54,863
All right, everybody, time for a game.
1049
01:32:55,188 --> 01:32:58,032
What shall it be? Bobbing for apples?
1050
01:32:58,191 --> 01:32:59,317
Charades?
1051
01:33:00,652 --> 01:33:03,121
Of course. Wake the dead.
1052
01:33:03,279 --> 01:33:06,658
- Wake the dead!
- Wake the dead!
1053
01:33:07,242 --> 01:33:09,119
Out to the cemetery!
Come on, everyone.
1054
01:33:09,285 --> 01:33:11,162
I've never played this before.
1055
01:33:11,329 --> 01:33:13,423
- How does it go?
- Did you bring a shovel?
1056
01:33:13,581 --> 01:33:16,505
- Uncle Fester, will you be on my team?
- No, mine.
1057
01:33:16,668 --> 01:33:18,428
I tell you what.
We'll give you a head start.
1058
01:33:18,503 --> 01:33:21,131
Three skulls and a pelvis. How is that?
1059
01:33:24,217 --> 01:33:26,970
My own dear brother.
1060
01:33:36,479 --> 01:33:38,823
- Come on.
- We'll catch up.
1061
01:33:42,527 --> 01:33:45,155
Wake the dead! Wake the dead!
1062
01:33:46,489 --> 01:33:48,366
Uncle Atlas, wake up.
1063
01:33:49,951 --> 01:33:53,330
- Come on, Aunt LaBorgia, wake up.
- No, no, no, children.
1064
01:33:53,496 --> 01:33:56,841
You have to dig. That's half the fun.
1065
01:34:08,344 --> 01:34:10,688
Oh, Tish, what more could we ask?
1066
01:34:13,266 --> 01:34:14,643
Gomez.
1067
01:34:20,690 --> 01:34:23,864
Cara mia, is it true?
1068
01:34:24,527 --> 01:34:25,619
Oui.
1069
01:34:26,196 --> 01:34:27,493
Mon amour.
1070
01:34:38,708 --> 01:34:41,006
Wake up, Grandpa Addams.
It's Halloween.
1071
01:34:41,169 --> 01:34:43,638
Children, look! Great-Aunt Lavinia!
1072
01:34:43,797 --> 01:34:46,346
She was beheaded by her own children!
1073
01:34:46,508 --> 01:34:47,885
- Yay!
- Yay!
71612
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