Original subtitles

B'efor'e th'e t'el'escop'e,

p'eopl'e thought th'e moon was a hug'e mirror,

and th'e mountains and oc'eans on its luminous surfac'e

w'er'e m'er'ely th'e r'efl'ection of our own mountains and oc'eans.

Lat'er, in th'e 20th c'entury, wh'en th'e first Sovi'et lunar prob'e

s'ent back imag'es of th'e far sid'e w'e n'ev'er s'e'e,

th'e world was stunn'ed to find th'e moon had a s'econd visag'e,

mor'e d'e'eply scarr'ed by th'e pounding of m'et'eorit'es

and oth'er c'el'estial d'ebris.

NASA lik'ed to call it "th'e disfigur'ed fac'e of th'e moon."

This irony mostly r'efl'ect'ed th'e fact that from th'en on

all crat'ers on that sid'e would b'e nam'ed

aft'er Sovi'et cosmonauts and gr'eat Russian writ'ers.

Th'e first crat'er was nam'ed Tsiolkovsky,

aft'er Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, th'e gr'eat 'engin'e'er

who originat'ed th'e formula

that allows us to br'eak fr'e'e of Earth "s gravity.

Tsiolkovsky also conc'eiv'ed th'e first liquid-fu'el rock'et

that d'etach'ed in stag'es

during its asc'ent, allowing th'e Russians, 50 y'ears lat'er,

to launch...

Sputnik, th'e first official sat'ellit'e 'emitting a signal

that could b'e h'eard on radios

all around th'e world.

Tsiolkovsky"s gr'eat'est pr'ediction...

was that, on'e day,

man would walk and liv'e in w'eightl'essn'ess on th'e moon:

Th'e id'eal r'efug'e, h'e said, for thos'e who find lif'e h'eavy.

[Buzzing]

[Indistinct radio communication]

The Far Side of the Moon

- May I speak to the lady of the house?

Hello, Mme Raynald Brochu.

L'e Sol'eil is currently soliciting subscriptions.

We're offering a free 2-week trial period,

after which, if you're still interested,

you'll get 15% off the normal price.

Would you be interested?

Pardon me?

No, that's the Journal d'e Qu�b'ec.

This is L'e Sol'eil.

No, they're a tabloid.

We're a real newspaper.

The big format.

Doesn't fit in your mailbox...

That's no reason not to subscribe!

We'll take note of it. Thanks, goodbye.

Hello, Andr�?

Philippe.

Where were you last night?

No, I waited half an hour at the laundromat.

You never showed up.

You can't give a dead person's clothes to charity

without washing them first.

Do me a favour?

Adopt her goldfish?

It's a little fish in a bowl.

You're allergic when you eat fish, not when you feed fish.

It's the last living thing Mom had! I can't flush it.

When do we meet about the will?

Would you mind showing up this time?

- Going somewhere?

It's not even 1:00. - Well...

I thought, since I sold my quota, I'd leave.

- If you hadn't made personal calls, you could've sold 13.

- I didn't make calls, plural, I made one...

to my brother.

- He was verbose. - Family stuff... you know?

- No. - You have a family?

- No, 2 dogs. - Are you married?

- No.

- Never wanted to have kids?

- A dog's housebroken at 3 months. At 10 years, it's dead.

In a rush?

- My thesis defence is at 2:00 at Laval University.

- Thesis? What's it about?

- Narcissism.

The theory of my dissertation

tries to demonstrate that space exploration in the 20th century

was motivated by narcissism.

To support my theory, I'll refer to the work

of the Russian engineer, Konstantin Tsiolkovsky.

If you go to page 25 of the paper

I sent you last week, you'll find

a photo of Tsiolkovsky

visiting the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Tsiolkovsky had conceived a structure...

tall enough to exceed the stratosphere,

and reach into space.

This structure

had a small elevator to carry people

to an observation deck located at the top.

He called this "the space castle."

So, we clearly see the influence

of fairy tales

on his engineering. The only thing

hindering construction of such a structure,

is that there exists no material strong enough

to support its weight. But if this problem were solved,

it would cost approximately...

40 U.S. Dollars

in electricity for each ascent,

compared to the $400,000,000 U.S. It currently costs

for every space-shuttle launch.

Tsiolkovsky is famous

for saying, "The Earth is the cradle of Man,

but Man can't spend his whole life in a cradle."

With these fine words,

I proceed to the main argument of my thesis.

Careful. This vanity's an antique.

Cover the mirror and carry it separately. OK?

No, leave this here.

My brother will get it later.

- Sign here.

[Wind howling]

- Our satellite picture shows the storm system

prevailing over most of North America,

bringing heavy rains to the American west coast,

changing to blizzards once they reach Canada.

This will move east overnight, changing into freezing rain.

If you live in the Gasp� region, you should take tomorrow off,

and be careful on the roads in eastern Quebec.

Closer to home, as expected,

t'emp'eratur'es ar'e way abov'e s'easonal norms,

starting with a high of-8 for Toronto,

- 10 in Ottawa, a littl'e cold'er in Sudbury at -15,

- 14 in Chicoutimi, - 10 for th'e Montr'eal ar'ea,

and a cozy -12 for th'e Qu'eb'ec City ar'ea.

That's it for now. On behalf of all of us,

I'd like to wish you all a very happy holiday season.

Use the money to go to Florida! It's only $5,000.

What can I do with that?

You're 42, you've never flown. It's weird. When I try to help,

it's always the same story. You thwart me.

Know what your problem is? Pride. Too much self-esteem.

Where do I sign?

That's it? - She had nothing:

About $5,000 in savings bonds

and no life insurance. - Did her fish have a name?

- She called him Beethoven.

- He's deaf, or plays the Ninth when he's fed?

How did your defence go?

- Badly. I was rejected again.

- Really? What will you do?

- I dunno, find a sympathizer and appeal. What else?

- You got more guts than me.

Two rejections, I would've given up.

Know what? The problem isn't the content.

I'm sure it's the way you present yourself.

Whenever you address a group, you get flustered, you mumble,

you babble. Try the exercise we did in announcer school.

Every day, we stood in front of the class and said,

"I speak loudly, and I'm not ridiculous!"

"I speak loudly, and I'm not ridiculous!"

Repeat this until you muster the volume

and energy for your delivery.

What if you don't get your Ph.D.?

Planning to live forever on loans and bursaries?

- What else? - You're so chicken.

There's this amazing woman...

- I don't need financial advisors.

- She's not an advisor, she's a financial medium.

She reads wallets like tarot cards.

To see if you respect money. Otherwise, it won't respect you.

She examines your wallet.

Is it real leather or vinyl?

Is it wrecked? Are 5's with 5's,

10's with 10's, 20's with 20's?

She helps you get rid of things you don't need,

to make room for new money!

She thinks money is like a guest.

If it doesn't feel welcome, it won't stay.

- I don't have a wallet.

- How do you carry credit cards?

- I don't have any.

- Your money?

- Easy. I have none. - You would,

if you took the 5 measly grand Mom left me

as my Christmas gift to you.

Mom's dead, Philippe.

She'll never know her last wishes were adjusted.

Everything she owned...

clothes, furniture, and goldfish...

Instead of having a yard sale,

you bring it all here where there's no room to breathe.

You don't make room in your life for new things to happen.

It's unhealthy to stay in your childhood home!

Where did you put my coat?

- In the closet on the left.

- Would you look at this?

If I were money,

I could never fit into this.

Bye!

Call me when you're not moody.

- Now, a s'erious qu'estion.

Ar'e w'e alon'e in th'e univ'ers'e? Or do'es th'er'e 'exist

anoth'er form of int'ellig'enc'e asking th'e sam'e qu'estion?

With us this morning is Mari'e-Mad'el'ein'e Bons'ecours

from th'e Canadian bur'eau of SETI,

who"ll outlin'e a n'ew approach to this qu'estion

of 'extra-t'err'estrial lif'e. W'elcom'e, Mm'e Bons'ecours.

- H'ello, Moniqu'e. - What do'es SETI stand for?

- SETI

m'eans S'earch for Extra-T'err'estrial Int'ellig'enc'e.

- Excus'e my rudim'entary English. - Min'e"s th'e sam'e!

- It"s an organization d'evot'ed to th'e s'earch for int'ellig'enc'e

or forms of int'ellig'enc'e b'eyond Earth.

It was cr'eat'ed in 1959

by 2 physicists from Corn'ell who thought

that by transmitting radio wav'es

w'e could communicat'e with oth'er solar syst'ems.

- And now you"r'e soliciting th'e public"s participation.

- Y'es. So far, our program has focus'ed on list'ening

for m'essag'es s'ent by 'extra-t'err'estrial civilizations.

Now, w'e"r'e asking th'e public to s'end

th'eir m'essag'es on hom'e vid'eo,

int'end'ed for unknown civilizations.

- R'eally? I could s'end

a tap'e of my son falling asl'e'ep in his ic'e cr'eam?

[Laughter]

- No, not r'eally...

Th'e s'el'ection will b'e quit'e s'erious. This is a cont'est.

W'e"ll choos'e 10 vid'eotap'es, conv'ert th'em to binary cod'e,

and s'end th'em into spac'e.

- To participat'e, h'er'e"s th'e addr'ess:

Proj'ect SETI,

267 Cactus Driv'e, Box 105,

Pho'enix, Arizona, 95020.

Again, thos'e who wish to participat'e

should s'end th'eir tap'es

to Proj'ect SETI...

Stay tun'ed. Aft'er th'e br'eak,

ch'ef Alb'eric d'e Ti'ers will b'e d'emonstrating Norw'egian cooking.

W'e can alr'eady sm'ell th'e salmon!

- When we Earthlings seek protection from the elements,

we take refuge in "houses."

We less fortunate ones take shelter in "rented apartments."

So, this is my rented apartment. We're in the "living room."

Entire families once lived in such places.

They'd gather here at night around the fireplace

telling stories, talking about their day.

Of course, TV has now replaced the fireplace.

TV tells the stories. TV talks about the day it had.

This is what's called a "sofa."

It's very practical, especially for guests.

If you visit, you'll sleep here, so keep that in mind.

Unfortunately, there's only 1 bed in my place.

We have all kinds of beds: Single, double, twin.

But sleeping in a single bed doesn't mean you're single.

Sleeping in a double doesn't make you a couple.

And twins are rarely slept in by twins.

It's often a couple, bitterly wishing they were still single.

Here, we have the kitchen.

This is a very important room where we prepare

the vital elements of nutrition. Hence, the appliances.

But in my kitchen, the best appliance

is the phone.

It's essential to my nutrition. It allows me to order food.

Then, we have...

the toilet. Some think calling it a "bathroom" is more elegant,

but when it's dirty, leaky and unrenovated for 40 years,

I would call it a "toilet."

There's also a storage room but it's pretty boring,

except for some of my parents' furniture.

There are boxes of old clothes,

women's shoes.

My mother had dozens of them. She found it very important

to have a pair of shoes for each dress.

She loved showing off her legs,

the anatomical part she was most proud of.

But in the end, she couldn't wear her pretty shoes.

The doctors started by amputating her toes.

Then, it was her feet.

Then they had to amputate her legs.

It was a catastrophe. My mother had gorgeous legs.

[1950s music]

[Music]

[Heart beating]

- Even though

he was preordained to be a painter,

his interest

in aviation led to piloting jets

and studying engineering.

Among his many exploits, he executed,

on March 18, 1965,

the first walk in space,

and, in 1975, he participated

in the Apollo-Soyuz mission,

the first one to join together

Soviet and American spaceships.

That was when I had the pleasure of meeting Alexei Leonov,

and I had the good fortune to be his interpreter.

[Applause]

- You cannot get any closer, sir.

- Um, do you think that, uh, afterwards,

it would be possible for me to, uh, to meet him?

Just for a few minutes.

Because I have a document I'd like him to, uh, to read.

- You can leave the document to me, and I'll pass it on to him.

- Yes, that's very nice of you,

but I prefer that nobody else than myself...

- We have to inspect all suspect parcels.

- Yeah, but it's...

- Is it compromising material?

- No, no, no, no, no. It's just a th�ori'e.

- A theory about what?

- Just... just give me back my document. Give me back my document.

Would you give me back my document?!

- Sir, please... - But my document.

- Come on. Come on, come on. - Yeah, but...

[applause]

I'm often asked

about the difference

between a cosmonaut and an artist.

But for me, it's the same thing.

Both must have curiosity...

and a sense of adventure.

[Applause]

- I just wanted him to read my thesis.

If he agrees with it, I'll ask him to endorse my Ph.D.

That's all. I'm not a terrorist.

- Yeah? And what's all this?

- Those are receipts.

- Ever heard of a wallet?

- Mr Leonov has agreed to meet you Thursday night

at 10:00 in the bar of his hotel

to discuss your theory.

- In that case, he should keep it.

- It's fine. We made a photocopy.

- Hey! You photocopied my thesis?

- You can go. - That bozo Xeroxed my thesis!

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

- Hello.

- The lady of the house, please.

No. Mommy.

Go get Mommy!

Mommy.

Go g'et Mommy.

- Hello, Daddy?

- Wait, sweetie. I'm coming... - Mommy.

Mommy. Go g'et Mommy.

- Coming...

Here...

Hello. Hello, hello.

- H'ello, l"m calling from Le Soleil.

W'e"r'e soliciting subscriptions, and our sp'ecial off'er

is a fr'e'e 2-w'e'ek trial p'eriod. Aft'er this,

if you"r'e int'er'est'ed... - Philippe?

- Excus'e m'e?

- Is that you, Philippe?

- Yes, it is. Who's speaking?

- Don't you recognize me?

- No, sorry...

Who is it?

- Nathalie.

- Nathalie?

I'm really sorry. I'm trying to reach...

I'm confused. I was calling Mme...

- Rodrigue Brochu. - Right.

- That's my name. - What do you m'ean?

- It's my husband's name.

- Wh'en did you marry?

- It's been... 3 years at least.

- R'eally? I had no id'ea!

- Why not? - No on'e told m'e.

- No, that's impossible. We sent you an invitation. Did you move?

- No, sam'e addr'ess and phon'e numb'er.

- Yes, 692-5400, I remember...

- No, that"s not my phon'e numb'er.

That"s my moth'er"s numb'er.

I m'ean, it was my moth'er"s numb'er...

Sh'e di'ed 2 w'e'eks ago.

- Really?

My God.

Forgive me.

Sorry... I don't know what to say.

- You don"t hav'e to say anything. That"s how it go'es.

Anyway, h'er quality of lif'e at th'e 'end wasn"t gr'eat...

- Was she sick? - H'er kidn'eys w'er'e shot.

Sh'e had dialysis 3 tim'es a w'e'ek.

She had to calculate the amount of water she could drink daily.

She probably miscalculated,

and the excess water filled her lungs and heart.

When your kidneys don't work, water builds up.

- Oh...

- But... are you OK? - I'll be fine. Don't you worry.

It'll be fine.

Listen, this is really an incredible coincidence!

- Listen, Philippe...

You're not soliciting for a living?

- Right now, yes, but it's temporary.

- But I heard you were teaching at Limoilou College.

- God, I haven't taught there for at least 2 years.

- It must've paid well?

- Substitute teaching, not very lucrative.

And I never had any authority over the class.

It took them 5 minutes to realize they could walk all over me.

Do you still teach?

- Oh, no, no, no.

No, I... No. No.

- Well, if you're living at... 57225 St. Louis Road in Sillery,

you sure don't need to work.

- What are you insinuating?

- Nothing. It's just that...

you needn't feel guilty about hitting the jackpot.

- Are you saying I'm a kept woman?

- I didn't say that. - That's what you meant.

- You're misinterpreting again. - How should I interpret it?

- You're being paranoid.

[Dog barking]

- I was waiting for that.

- Let's just stop. - Why, you want to cop out?

- I know how this'll end.

Getting shit from my ex wasn't on my agenda today.

Listen...

I'm sorry...

I'm glad to catch up with you.

- Sure, but I won't be taking a subscription.

- Fine.

Nathalie, I wish you all the best.

Bye.

- Bye. [Dial tone]

[Bell ringing]

- Coffee break. Ten minutes.

Second time I catch you making personal calls.

One more time,

and you're out. Get it?

- It's almost like baseball.

- Hey! Cut the crap and make up the time you already wasted.

[Beep!] - Ignition s'equ'enc'e start.

Six, fiv'e, four,

thr'e'e, two, on'e...

z'ero.

Liftoff! W'e hav'e a liftoff!

- Rog'er.

- And w'e"r'e g'etting th'e pictur'e on th'e TV.

Okay, N'eil, w'e can s'e'e you coming down th'e ladd'er now.

- Hop'e you hav'e a good pictur'e.

- Ah, th'er'e"s a gr'eat d'eal of contrast in it.

- What's on?

- Go back to bed. - Turn it off!

- G'etting back up to that first... - Hey!

Gimme that!

- That"s on'e small st'ep

for man...

- Philippe?

...on'e giant st'ep for mankind.

- Mommy!

- Good.

Look up.

Down.

What happens when I do this?

- It's a little blurry, but I can see.

- And this side?

- I can't see anything.

- Listen. We got the results from this morning.

On the X-ray,

we spotted

a lump developing under one of his cerebral lobes,

pinching the optical nerve,

and obstructing the circulation.

That's why he has trouble seeing from that eye.

There's a new treatment.

It's called chemotherapy.

It shrinks the tumour before removal.

Of course...

it's still quite experimental, and the operation is delicate.

- Th'e w'elcoming parad'e

for Apollo 11...

- You collect rocks?

You'd make a good astronaut. That's all they did up there:

Pick up rocks.

- It occurred to me that if you wanted to visit us,

you'd probably have to locate us.

So I prepared this little demonstration.

First, according to scientists,

our solar system is inconspicuous,

located somewhere in the suburbs of our very ordinary galaxy,

which is in the suburbs of the universe.

Take a left after the mall and you'll find us.

But if you hit a planetary alignment like this,

we live on the third planet

from the sun. In any case,

you can't miss it. It's a blue planet.

It's marbled, from the maelstrom

of organic elements that foster life on Earth.

The planet's overpopulated,

with over 6-billion inhabitants.

So you should park on a nearby planet.

It's crowded here.

Here on Earth,

we know the universe is infinite, yet we live as if in a fishbowl.

We simply can't accept that the universe might contain

a superior intelligence.

So we swim in circles, contemplating our navel.

Man is so convinc'ed h'e"s th'e most compl'ex and p'erf'ect of cr'eations,

h'e s'e'eks mirrors 'ev'erywh'er'e

to gaz'e at hims'elf.

H'e"s always m'easuring and comparing hims'elf.

In his s'earch for p'erf'ection,

h'e push'ed his narcissism so far as to cr'eat'e God in his own imag'e.

[Techno music]

Excuse me, is that the right time?

- Yes, it is.

- Is this the only bar in the hotel,

or are there other meeting places?

- This is basically it.

- I was supposed to meet someone at 10:00.

Obviously, he's not coming.

- Maybe you missed him.

- I would've recognized him. I was meeting Alexei Leonov.

- Who?

- Alexei Leonov.

- Who's that? A hockey player?

- No!

A cosmonaut.

He's probably...

one of the most important in the Soviet space program.

- The Russians had a space program too?

- Of course!

- When?

- The same time as the Americans.

- How do you know this?

- Because everyone knows it!

- Good night. - Good night.

- And the guy I was supposed to meet tonight

is very...

inspired. He's an artist.

A painter. He paints. That's why I wanted...

to have a chance to talk to him,

ask him questions. Not just scientific ones, personal ones.

Like, I dunno... how he manages everyday life.

I guess...

I dunno, let's say...

you spend your life exploring the cosmos, orbiting Earth.

You know things others don't. And how, when you get back,

do you handle things like broken vacuum cleaners and dishwashers.

How do you manage to reconcile the infinitely banal

with the infinitely essential?

How do you cope?

That's something I'd really like to understand.

If the Americans hadn't won the race,

Leonov was the one

the Soviets picked to be the 1st man on the moon.

Can you imagine how bitter he could be?

And we think we have ego problems.

You gotta be Zen to transcend that and agree to take part

in a cooperative space program with the Americans,

the Soyuz-Apollo mission.

Although you're the loser,

you carry on and get over it,

have your space encounter, shake the American's hand,

invite him to your capsule...

- Yeah, well...

- That interests me.

Bitterness is ultimately

the main obstacle to reconciliation.

You can't reconcile 2 peoples or individuals

if you harbour bitterness.

Take me.

I have a brother.

He may be, I dunno, the only blood relative I still have

living here on Earth. I dunno...

It's like I feel the need to...

get close to him...

To get over my bitterness and reconcile,

but I can't get motivated.

- Why not?

- He's an asshole.

A terminal bourgeois, a compulsive liar,

talks incessantly about money...

His fancy car, the condo he just bought in Old Quebec

with his "boyfriend."

I don't care if he's gay, but, like most gays I know,

he's carefree, rich and lucky.

- What does he do?

- Weather.

The weather channel, the guy with the goatee.

The guy with the colonial accent.

He's so pathetic.

Standing there every day by his satellite image.

He basically thinks that, from space,

the Earth looks exactly like that:

With dotted lines and arrows that show how things work.

And borders. You can also see borders.

From outer space! Ladies and gentlemen!

This is the border between Gaza and Israel,

the civilized world and the Third World.

Here's Quebec and the other Canadian provinces.

All compartmentalized. Nothing can change.

The worst that could happen is freezing rain and hail!

- Just calm down.

- He's not aware how complicated things are. Diplomacy's complex.

From space, Earth's a big pizza where people have trouble coping.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Sure, I'm jealous, but not of his cash, his car,

or his historic condo,

but of his minimal conscience, curiosity,

and compassion for others. What makes my life hard

and makes me suffer...

my awareness, my education, my curiosity,

and my great compassion... it's all over his head!

Anyway.

- What's all this mean?

- Last call.

- What time is it?

- Time to knock it back and give us a break.

- You close early!

Is Montreal still in Quebec, or has it merged with Ottawa?

- No, we're closing.

- What's your problem? You want to finish early,

or you find me boring?

Just say so. Am I boring?

Speak up. People have been telling me that for 40 years.

- Not boring. Just drunk and loud.

- The place is empty, damn it.

- This is ridiculous.

- No, it's not...

I speak loudly, but I'm not ridiculous.

I speak loudly and I'm not ridiculous!

I speak loudly and I'm not ridiculous!

Excuse me, Miss...

Is it too late to call a guest here?

- Depends. What's his name?

- Mr Alexei Leonov.

[Typing]

- Sorry, the Russian delegation checked out at 2:00.

- That's impossible...

How come? - There's a blizzard coming.

They wanted to get a flight back.

- But there's not a cloud in the sky!

- What can I say? Can't always trust the weatherman.

- Excuse me... I don't mind, but that's really not my thing.

- Oh... that!

No, no, no...

Don't get me wrong.

Aren't you Philippe?

- That's my name. - I'm Carl.

Carl. Andr�'s boyfriend.

- Oh, Carl!

You're Carl!

Oh!

- I knew it was you. You're identical.

- You think? - Come on.

Like two peas in a pod.

[Chuckling]

We probably would've met at Christmas,

but your mother died, so no Christmas Eve this year.

- Probably not.

- It's dry in here.

Are you a member here, too?

- No, I had a coupon for a 1 -day trial.

- It's handy for me. I work at the Finance Ministry.

- What do you do?

- P.R. For the Minister.

- Really?

- You're still at school.

- Sort of...

I'm in Philosophy of Scientific Culture.

- What's that?

- Great scientific events

and their impact on pop culture: The space race

between the U.S. And Russia.

- If they ever let civilians into space,

I'll volunteer for sure.

There's no gravity in space. Gravity's my worst enemy.

- How come?

- I train like a maniac, but it pulls everything down.

I look in the mirror.

Even my face sags. - Sure. Over time,

you turn into a caricature.

Know what?

You must excuse me. The heat... raises my blood pressure.

Bye.

- You undid your make-up. - I gotta go.

Tell R�al I'll be back in an hour.

Bye, Monique.

- Bye.

- Ah! My God.

[Singing "Holy Night"]

[Buzzing]

[Singing] [Banging]

[Banging]

[Singing]

[Phone ringing]

- H'ello?

- Carl? It's Andr�. Sorry to bother you,

but l"m stuck in an 'el'evator.

- Where? The studio?

- No, Mom's old-folks' home. - What?

Aren't you anchoring at 6:00?

- I st'epp'ed out. I want'ed to pick up

that huge shelf Philippe used when we were kids,

as a barrier to stop me going through his stuff.

Mom call'ed it "Th'e Wall of Sham'e."

- I met him today. - Who?

- Philippe.

- Where? - Th'e gym. I kn'ew imm'ediat'ely.

You're identical. Even the ass.

- Come on. We may share a family resemblance, but...

There's no time for this! I'm almost out of oxygen here.

- What should I do? - Call th'e studio. T'ell th'em

I can't make it. - Why m'e?

- If I call them, they won't believe me.

- Why not?

- I told them I was stuck in an elevator last time.

- What shall I say? - I dunno...

I'm stuck in my car, the bridges are closed,

b'ecaus'e som'e oth'er idiot said it would snow...

- I can't tell them that!

- Make something up!

- I won't lie for you. - It"s not lying!

You don't know about lying, I do. This is a fib.

- So, I'm unimaginative.

- No, you're just mentally lazy.

Do your b'est.

Then call me here and tell me what happened.

Do it now, please.

[Music]

B'e'en daz'ed and confus'ed for so long it"s not tru'e

Want'ed a woman n'ev'er bargain'ed for you

Lots of p'eopl'e talk and f'ew of th'em know

Soul of a woman was cr'eat'ed b'elow

Y'eah...

You hurt and abus'e t'elling all of your li'es

Run around sw'e'et baby Lord how th'ey hypnotiz'e

Sw'e'et littl'e baby I don"t know wh'er'e you"v'e b'e'en

Gonna lov'e you baby h'er'e I com'e again

- Rather than see the countryside,

we'll visit the battlefield of the Plains of Abraham,

so you know what Nature looks like.

As its name indicates, Battlefield Park

was once a site of conflict and fighting. Now, it's rather peaceful.

A place where people come in summer to picnic or fly kites.

I must admit that...

I prefer it in winter because it's less crowded.

It's also a great place for star-gazing.

In fact, I clearly remember the first time I came here in winter.

I was 15.

That was when I'd started experimenting with LSD.

[Led Zeppelin playing]

[Led Zeppelin blaring]

B'e'en daz'ed and confus'ed for so long it"s not tru'e

Want'ed a woman n'ev'er bargain'ed for you

Tak'e it 'easy baby I'et th'em say what th'ey will

Will your tongu'e wag so much wh'en I s'end you th'e bill

[music blaring]

- Mommy!

Ma!

[Baby crying]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing] - Carl, answer it.

- I'm refinishing.

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

- Hello.

- It's me. Sorry to bother you.

I can't talk long.

I want to ask you a small favour.

Remember the guy at the Cosmodome who Xeroxed my thesis?

He works at the Tsiolkovsky Institute in Moscow.

He's organizing a huge conference with speakers from all over.

Someone withdrew. He wants me to replace him.

Amazing, eh? I'm going!

- When? - Next week.

So, could you pass by the apartment occasionally,

to check the fish, the plants and my mail?

- I'd love to, but my car's in the garage this week.

- Come on!

For once, I need your help!

This is my big chance to address my peers!

- Fine! Don't freak out. I'll send Carl.

- Cut the pity, for once.

Do it out of solidarity!

- Yes, Ma'am.

Yes, very well. - That's enough!

No more fooling around.

- Philippe?

- Pack up and get out.

I'll be back. If you're still here, I'll kick you out myself.

Back to work!

- We have come to visit you in peace.

And with goodwill.

- If you ever get my message,

it'll mean you already received millions of hours of television,

broadcast from Earth.

To me, the best reflection of the contradictions of the human soul

is poetry.

Unfortunately, there's not much poetry on TV these days,

so I felt like reciting a poem.

This is by one of our greatest French-Canadian Romantic poets.

His name was �mile Nelligan.

"My moth'er...

I ador'e h'er old portrait,

from th'e glorious days of h'er youth.

H'er skin lily-whit'e, h'er 'ey'es shining,

lik'e a stunning V'en'etian mirror.

H'er'e sh'e is, profoundly chang'ed.

Lin'es hav'e cr'eas'ed h'er ivory brow.

Sh'e"s lost th'e t'end'er brillianc'e that sang lik'e a blushing po'em.

L"m fill'ed with sorrow at th'e comparison.

On'e fac'e, suffus'ed with joy.

Th'e oth'er, in d'espair.

Gold'en suns'et.

Mist dancing, as y'ears r'ec'ed'e.

And y'et, my h'eart is myst'erious.

How can I smil'e at th'es'e with'er'ed lips?

B'efor'e such radianc'e, how can I w'e'ep?"

- I took out last year's X-ray to compare it with this year's.

Follow me. We'll do the scan before it gets too busy.

- Doctor, is it dangerous to fly after you've had brain surgery?

- Where'd you hear that? - On TV.

The specialists were saying that, after brain surgery,

you must avoid pressurized areas to prevent haemorrhaging.

- That's a wives' tale. You've flown before.

- No. And I'm leaving for Moscow tonight.

- Moscow on your first flight? What an initiation!

- Doctor L'evass'eur r'equ'est'ed in Obst'etrics.

- By the way, I'd like to offer my condolences.

For your mother.

It's sad. I admired her a lot.

She was very brave.

I saw her doctor. He told me how it ended.

What a pity.

It was better that way.

Once you start amputating, patients soon get discouraged.

Most get suicidal much sooner.

But she was stoic in her pain.

Her desperate act

was understandable under the circumstances.

- Excuse me...

What "desperate act"?

- Let's not start playing word games...

Let's call a spade a spade.

- Yes, but...

You're not implying...

- You talked to her doctor? - Yes.

- Well. What did he tell you?

- To read her death certificate.

- That only charts physical cause of death.

He couldn't write she killed herself by drinking water!

Why're we discussing this now?

You should've consulted her doctor long ago.

- Nothing was ever mentioned!

- Maybe you wouldn't listen.

[Russian-language instructions]

[Beeping]

- Aha!

- Glad to see you.

[Beeping]

[Beeping stopping]

[Speaking Russian]

- I don't speak Russian...

I'm attending the conference.

No, no, no, no...

That's the wrong time.

[Resonating]

[Feedback]

- We waited for you,

you know...

Now, everyone's gone.

Wait. I'll come down.

- I'm a bit relieved you decided not to wait. To be honest...

I don't know if I could've done it.

I'm very sorry I was late.

I've been preoccupied. I forgot to adjust my watch upon arrival.

- You mustn't be bitter.

- May I request a reference, at least?

- No. I can't.

Sugar?

- Why not?

- Because I disagree with your theory.

- Why did you invite me?

- To fuel the discussions.

I agree with you that... since the beginning of Humanity,

Man has sought mirrors to gaze at himself.

But he doesn't do it solely out of narcissism,

but out of a desire to know himself.

If this desire didn't exist,

there would be

no science.

There would be no art

to show us both...

our virtues and our flaws,

our physical wounds and wounds to our self-esteem.

Voil?

- In fiv'e,

four, three, two...

- So, tonight, freezing rain, violent winds,

with gusts up to 75 kph.

You should stay home to avoid slippery roads.

Accidents have been reported.

Same forecast next week in our capital,

where more than 40,000 viewers

have no electricity.

[Tow-truck alarm sounding]

[Clicking]

Thought so. No power for 2 days.

- It's freezing in here.

- Go check the pipes, while I get the mail.

- Doesn't work!

- Really?

- Andr�, come and see this.

- What?

Look at what?

What's wrong?

- Maybe it's just frozen.

If we thaw it, it might revive.

- This isn't Walt Disney, it's a fish!

It's frozen stiff.

- What now?

- What else? Measure it and get another.

- What for?

- To replace it! I can't tell him!

- Why not?

- He'll decapitate me!

He'll accuse us of neglect!

Listen, find an open pet shop. I'll do the rest.

- Maybe he'll react...

- Listen, I know my brother. He's non-negotiable.

- Why? - He thinks I'm an asshole.

- Well...

When's he back? - What was that?

- When's he coming back? - Before that.

I said, He thinks I'm an asshole,

and you mumbled something. What was it?

- Mumbling, that's all.

Too bad he thinks that.

- Is it what you think?

- Andr�, don't start.

- Truth or Consequences. Is that what you think?

- No, it isn't.

Maybe a bit. - Really?

- Yeah.

- Out with it, then!

- Mistruth is one thing, but lying to your brother...

- Enough petty moralizing already!

I won't be lectured to by a dim bureaucrat.

- Christ.

- Where're you going?

Carl!

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, I accept.

Yes.

Philippe?

Yes! How're you?

You're in Moscow? Listen...

I can't talk, Phil. It's an emergency.

Call me later. My taxi's waiting.

I'll leave my cell on.

I'm at your apartment, actually.

He's fine.

Yes. He looks a little stunned, but he's fine.

Okay, listen, Philippe...

I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm afraid...

Beethoven's dead.

Not the composer, Mom's fish. It's not my fault. I came over.

There's an ice storm, no power.

The place is freezing, the fish is frozen.

It's not my fault. I did what I could.

I hope you're grateful I fed it for a week,

and I'm honest enough to say he's dead!

I could've gone to a pet shop and replaced it with another!

You'd never have known!

I know it's the last living thing Mom had!

Now l"m the last living thing Mom had!

So you better change your damn attitude!

Philippe?

Philippe?

Are you really crying or is this bullshit?

But why?

Not for a damned fish! So why are you crying?

This isn't fair. We're a world apart.

I can't help you if you won't confide.

- Did you know Mom's death was probably a suicide?

- Yes, I did.

- Did h'er doctor t'ell you?

- No, she did.

She often talked about it when I visited.

- Why didn"t sh'e talk to m'e?

- I don't know...

You took such good care of her, I guess...

she didn't want you to think you did it all for nothing...

- Sh'e f'elt sorry for m'e?

- Of course not.

If she felt sorry for either of us, it was probably me.

- Did I get any mail?

- There's a letter from some organization in the U.S.

- Y'eah? Ar'e you sur'e?

- The stamp has Elvis on it. You applied for immigration?

- Gimm'e a br'eak.

- I don't know how deep your despair is.

- Op'en it.

- It says, "Dear sir,

We're pleased to tell you

that the video message you created for SETI

was s'el'ect'ed among hundr'eds,

and will b'e on'e of 10 m'essag'es broadcast into spac'e...

to be received by extra-terrestrial civilizations."

What the hell is this?

- A contest I entered.

- Wh'en"d you mak'e th'e tap'e? - Keep reading!

- "Your original technique and unusual ideas

were unanimously accepted by our international scientific jury.

PI'eas'e r'espond promptly,

M. M. Bons'ecours, Dir'ector, SETI Canada. "

Congratulations!

- Don"t forc'e yours'elf.

- But I mean it!

- Your snide tone...

- What tone should I use?

- You"r'e n'ev'er proud of m'e. - Sure, I am! Your first video,

and it wins.

You say no one listens to you. Now the whole cosmos will.

Something to celebrate!

- Still coming back Tuesday? - Y'eah, 'early 'ev'ening.

- What time? - I dunno, 7:00-7:30.

- Via Toronto or Montreal? - Why?

- If it's Montreal, I can come get you in the car.

We don't have to come...

straight back. We can eat out. You're flying business class?

- No. - You'll be starving.

- Don"t tak'e m'e anywh'er'e fancy.

- There's the new new-media district they're building.

- What n'ew-m'edia district? - New shops, hip restaurants.

Gotta hurry. It'll last 6 months.

- At that hour, would a caf'e or a r'estaurant b'e b'ett'er?

- Well, that depends...

on what you want to eat. - I dunno.

Do w'e hav'e to d'ecid'e right now?

- How can I reserve if you can't decide?

- You d'ecid'e. - You're the guest of honour!

You decide. - W'ell, I'et m'e think about it.

- How about sushi?

"FOREVER HIGHER"

DVD subtitling by CNST, Montreal