Original subtitles

Can someone tell me what I'm doing here ?

I don't remember, I'm not stupid, I say that without conceit.

I lose myself, I should do things for myself, practical things.

But here I am, with this girl on top of me whose name I don't remember.

Spank me !

Yes ! like that !

Harder !

- I can hit too. - Yes, hit me !

Slap me !

Yeah ! like that !

I hope she doesn't ask if she can sleep here.

I hate sleeping with someone I don't love.

- Who's that ? - Are you expecting someone ?

No, are you ?

- It's your flat. - True...

Who the fuck can it be ?

- All right, I'll go. - Go where ?

I know who it is, I'm not stupid. I've realised !

- Realised what ? - That you've got a girlfriend.

You've got a girlfriend, right ? You're violent and you're spoken for.

- They're coming up ! - Who ?

- Hide under the bed. - Are you nuts ?

- Please, I beg you, please ! - No way. Pass me my shirt.

I'll put mine on too, but you have to hide under the bed.

It's very important that you do this.

I beg you, listen, this...

might seem absurd, but there's a reason for it. I'll explain it all later.

All of it.

- Asshole. - You're right.

I'd realised you were an asshole.

- Come on, lift this bed up ! - Great ! Thanks a lot.

Not everyone would be so understanding. I can tell you're...

intelligent.

And you're a dickhead.

Thanks. I'll make it up to you, we'll go out one evening...

then seeing you enjoy it, I'll beat you up.

Go fuck yourself !

Are you off your hinges ?

Yes.

Come inside.

You could have phoned.

What's up ? What's wrong ?

Why the long face ? Has something happened to the baby ?

I'm not well, Franci.

Don't call me Franci...

- Put that gun down ! - I'm not well.

Okay, Paolo, you can tell me all about it.

But put that gun down.

Give me this fucking gun ! Are you nuts ?

- I'm not well. - I know you're not well.

- Will you let me out of here ? - Who's that ?

Fuck ! No, it's a... Hold this a minute.

- Sorry ! - Get a move on !

Okay, I'll lift it up...

- Paolo, can you come here a sec ? - Hurry up !

Don't worry, it's stuck, but... Can you give me a hand ?

- What's going on ? - Help me.

- Who is she ? - A friend of mine, Simona.

Patrizia, you dickhead ! My name's Patrizia.

Yes, sorry, Patty. Ready ? One, two, three.

- Will you get me out of here ! - Wait, we're brainstorming.

- Don't worry. - Is it nailed to the floor ?

I don't know, it's new.

Let's take the mattress off first.

There we are !

All right...

- How's that ? - Get me out of here !

- What shall we do ? - Remove the slats.

- Can we ? - They're made for that.

- Hurry up ! - We'll have you out in a minute.

We'll slide these...

- They won't move. - Of course not, they're fixed slats.

You said they're made to slide out, now they're fixed ?

- Will you get this off me ? - He says something, then denies it.

- Thinks he's some expert. Now what ? - We'll saw them.

- Saw them ? - Saw them ? How ?

- How ? With a saw. - But it's a new bed.

- You can't saw it... - Who cares if it's new, get me out !

I'm having a panic attack.

- Calm down. - Do you want some Xanax ?

Stuff it up your arse !

I'll go and get the saw.

- I'll buy a new bed. - What's your birth sign ?

I want to die !

What are you doing ?

Are you jerking off ? Yes, you are !

- You were jerking off. - No, I was... weren't you asleep ?

You masturbate when you hear the people upstairs doing it.

You're disgusting, you're a peeping Tom.

- Peeping Toms watch. - Then you're a listening Tom.

- And you still disgust me. - Want some herbal tea ?

Yes... but wash your hands first.

- Perhaps you'd better not drink it. - Why not ?

- It's a diuretic. - So ?

- You'll wake me to go to the toilet. - It's your fault I can't go myself.

- Let's not start that again, please ! - I'm not starting it.

You won't give me any tea and you jerk off in bed.

- Okay, do you want herbal tea ? - Yes, two cups.

- I'll see to it. - Thanks.

You're welcome.

And don't make rude gestures.

- Where did you get this ? - I stole it from Elena's father.

Why ?

I don't know.

I wanted...

I don't know.

- Paolo, what's wrong ? - I'm not well.

You haven't been since I met you, what's so different about today ?

Can I sleep here tonight ?

I reckon so, because you...

- That's right. - Do you mind ?

Of course not. Do you want a hit ?

No, I'm doped up on Xanax.

You ?

- It's Elena. - No ! Don't answer it.

- Don't answer it. - Why not ?

She's pregnant, in the hospital, what if she's giving birth ?

All right, answer it.

- No, I'll answer it. - But keep calm, you're too...

Calm down.

Darling ! Hi !

Fine, fine.

No, the battery died...

I just called by a minute... I'll tell Francesco you said hi.

He says hi back. How's little Bean ?

Thank goodness. Good.

I'll see you tomorrow, love.

So do l, my love. Bye.

You're a really nasty pair.

- In what way ? - Wait a minute.

- Have we met ? - No, thank goodness !

Then shut up ! Have you seen yourself ?

You look like one of those dancers on TV, except you're short.

- How dare you ! - No, how dare you !

You were hiding under his bed.

Before that you were on top screwing a guy who doesn't even know your name.

- That's enough now. - What's her name ?

- What's my name ? - That's enough !

- We said enough. - Why are you crying, you idiot ?

Cut that out ! Drink this and calm down.

- Dust yourself off and go. - Moron !

- Who's that ? - I'm not going back under the bed !

- Shall I open it ? - Open it.

Hide that gun.

- Have you got a condom ? - No, I've run out.

Pig.

Pig ? You took them all !

- What do I do now ? - Dunno, I've got some cling film.

Who's here ? Hi, Paolino.

- Hi. - What's going on ?

- Nothing, she was leaving... - Why are you crying ?

Are you the one on the TV ?

- You're great. - Thanks, I know.

- And you are ? - Patrizia, hello.

- Alice. - Can I take a photo with you ?

Of course.

- Let me take it. - No.

- It's nice. Thanks. - You're welcome.

Bye.

- You don't have to see me out. - Yes, I do. Be right back.

- Who's she ? - How do I know !

- You don't have a condom, do you ? - No, sorry.

- Okay, I'll give him a blow-job. - Right.

How cute ! You've still got sawdust...

Leave it.

Thanks.

- Is everything okay ? - Yes.

- See you, take care. - Thanks.

Do you know I've been obsessed with men in uniform lately ?

I've discovered I really like men in uniform.

- Any kind of uniform ? - Any kind.

Nice.

I have to go, the security guard still has to do his rounds.

- Are you okay ? - Yes.

- You don't look it ! - I'm fine. Don't worry.

I'll be off then. Bye, Paolino.

- Alice ! - Yes ?

Is everything okay ?

- Freeze ! - No, they're friends.

- We're friends. - Put that gun down.

- Was that you ? - No.

- What about you ? - No.

- Who was it then ? - Downstairs maybe.

Freeze !

Pietro !

Can you open the door, please ?

Thanks.

Anna !

Can I buy you a cappuccino ?

Yes.

We're out of toothpaste.

Already ?

- I just bought it. - I know, but it's all gone.

- Is there enough for today ? - No, all gone.

Look.

Sorry, I did it on purpose.

- You're looking good. - You're not.

I've only just got up.

- So much happened last night. - Is that so ?

Not in that way...

In what way ?

My neighbour shot himself.

- Which neighbour ? - The guy who lives...

You don't... remember the old lady downstairs ? She died two months ago.

- So ? - Her son, who had moved in there...

shot himself last night.

Where were you going ?

To see my therapist.

Thanks.

- Sorry. - No, no...

Are you still seeing...

- Who ? - I don't remember... what's his name ?

Francesco.

Francesco.

- Are you still with... - Yes, I'm still with him.

Are you happy ?

I'm pregnant.

- How far gone ? - Four months.

- That was quick. - Yes, these things happen.

- What about you ? - No, I'm not pregnant.

- Are you seeing anyone ? - No.

How come ?

I don't know... because I love you.

Why did you cheat on me ?

Because I'm a fool.

Why did you let another man get you pregnant ?

You're beautiful.

Thanks.

Do you feel it too, or is it just me ?

I feel it too.

- What ? - That'll be 5 euros.

- So... - For the cappuccinos.

I know, but... right now ?

When else ?

Come and pay at the till.

- I have to get to the gallery. - Sorry, but...

Five euros then...

- Can I pay by credit card ? - For five euros ?

- What's wrong with that ? - It's a nuisance.

- A nuisance ? Just swipe it... - I'll pay.

- No, I want to pay. - I'm not paying.

- Hey... - Let her pay, after all...

After all, what ?

Will you let me pay by credit card, please ?

I got up at 5:30, this isn't my line offofworkwork, and I'm tired.

- Let her pay and get it over with. - You can pay me back.

- Here you are, thanks. - Sorry.

- Shall we meet at 5:30 ? - Where ?

- Here. - Yes, why ?

- I need to talk to you. - Of course.

Goodbye.

I'll see you at 5:30.

Yes, but you're not getting a kiss.

- Go and get our snow boots. - You don't need snow boots !

- Why did we buy them then ? - Because you insisted...

we had to have the same snow boots.

- They were on sale. - Of course, it was July.

I wanted us to have something the same.

Remember when we were kids and Mum used to dress us the same ?

Yeah.

I really liked it.

It made me feel...

- Go fetch our snow boots. - What a pain with these snow boots !

- We'll need them today. - For a few snow flakes ?

If anything, you need snow tyres not boots !

Real funny. It's your fault I'm in this state.

- You remind me of that every day. - I hadn't reminded you today.

Hi.

- Why's the neighbour's cat here ? - His name's Arturo.

I thought he could live with us.

- Fennel ? - No.

- What do we do about the neighbour ? - Meaning ?

He had no family, we could have a whip-round for his funeral.

- Who's we ? - The people in the building.

- But you don't even live here... - Come and look at this.

Some nice cutlery, I bought it in the supermarket downstairs.

You can look all over for something different, then find it near home.

- Is everything okay ? - Jesus...

Are you going to make a fuss over a few flowers and cutlery ?

I bumped into Anna.

Anna Anna ?

Anna.

And ?

- She's pregnant, did you know ? - Yes.

- Elena told me. - Why didn't you tell me ?

- Did you speak to her ? - Yes.

- What did she say ? - That she's pregnant.

- I've got that, what else ? - I don't want to feeI bad anymore.

That's enough ! We're always unhappy, you know.

We have to snap out of it.

We'll snap out of it.

- What the fuck are you cooking ? - Cabbage.

- You can hardly breathe in here. - I needed some vegetables.

It might be the nerves, but my bowels are blocked.

What a nice image, thanks.

- Who's that ? - I don't know, shall I go ?

- I'll go. - Kitty !

Come here.

- Hello. - Hello.

Francesca.

Francesco.

Do you know what happened downstairs ? I rang but no one answered.

Hi.

Arturo ?

Has he killed himself ?

Yes.

Yesterday.

- Do you want to come in a minute ? - Yes.

I'll grab your bag.

- Can I sit down ? - Of course.

Do you want something to drink or...

- Have you got a cigarette ? - Yes, here.

Ashtray.

Forgive me, that's my girlfriend. She's in labour.

Hello ? Yes.

Yes, I'm on my way.

- It sounds like this time... - This is it !

This is it !

- I'll let you know. - Yes.

- Paolo, you're wearing an apron. - Yes, of course.

I'll let you know.

- Where have they taken him ? - MedCentre.

- Is it nearby ? - You need a car, but it's not far.

Do you think you could give me a lift ?

Of course.

- Do you want to go straight away... - Yes, if you don't mind.

No, I don't mind.

I'll grab... my jacket and be right with you.

For one last time... answer me.

Do you love me ?

- Then die ! - Ludovico.

Why ? Why are you doing this to me ?

Because you're a harlot !

- Is she dead ? - After two shots to the chest ?!

How do I know...

It depends whether he damaged any vital organs.

Don't you remember her telling us the other day ?

Yes, that's right.

- But she's really good. - Who ?

Alice.

Want some ?

Shall we go out ?

- Where to ? - I don't know.

But let's go out. Why'd we bother dressing like this ?

That's what I was wondering.

- Thanks for the lift. - You're welcome.

How are you feeling ?

Did you know him ?

Not well.

He'd only lived there for two months. His mother died.

She lived there before him.

Had you been together for long or...

I came to tell him it was over between us.

And did he... know that ?

Yes.

Yes, he knew.

Here we are.

- I need to find a hotel. - You can stay at my place.

I don't want to be a burden.

You're not, absolutely.

And I have a wonderful sofa, large and comfortable.

Really, I don't think you should be on your own tonight.

Trust me.

Thanks then.

Shall we go in ?

Here they are !

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Good evening.

- Is anything wrong ? - You are... ?

- Francesco Rossini. - like the composer.

- No, that was Gioacchino. - Write that down.

No, cross it out, it's not interesting.

Is there some problem ?

Your colleagues were here yesterday asking a lot of questions,

asking if there was anything... I don't know.

- Where have you come from ? - The hospital.

She is... or maybe I should say was the girlfriend of...

- Of ? - The man who committed suicide.

- I saw the seaIs and asked him if... - If ?

If he knew him.

- Then he took me to see him. - Write that down.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Are you the actress in that soap opera ?

In the flesh.

Not bad ! And who's this ?

- What did you say your name was ? - Guglielmo.

- Guglielmo. - Good evening, Guglielmo.

- We watch you at the station. - Yes.

- Really ? Which station ? - Fate bene fratelli.

- Yes, I know it. - She's a friend, she lives next door.

- You're a good actress. - Not really, the others are rubbish.

That's funny ! A good actress and funny too.

- It seems you were shot dead today. - Stone dead.

- Hi. - Hi, Paolo.

Good evening.

And you are... ?

- Paolo. - Paolo !

- Bonetti. - Yes.

Paolo Bonetti, I expected you to be more...

- I'm sorry. - It seems we're all here now.

We're not waiting for anyone. So we can go.

- Thank you, goodbye then. - No, we can all go to the station.

We need to ask some more questions.

Come with us.

Right...

You're Mr. Gianni.

Yes, Gianni.

I believe you are the owner of the whole building.

Yes, I'm the owner.

- And you're his brother ? - Twin.

So, homo...

- No, hetero... - Hetero...

- Zygotes. - Then why do you live together ?

Because they're open minded.

It's a long story, I don't think it's relevant right now.

- We have all the time we need. - About 18 months ago...

I didn't mean we had that long. 18 months ago ?

Let's get to the point.

After an accident, which he caused, I lost the use of my legs.

So... Corporal Carnera, write this down:

- Homozygote... - No, hetero.

The heterozygote loses the use of his lower legs, in case...

- Please proceed. - He felt guilty, and as he's rich...

- I'm not rich, I'm well off. - Very rich.

- Write ''rich and well off"'. - I told you, I'm not rich.

- But I am well off. - There's no need to repeat yourself.

- The judge isn't from the tax office. - Inspector !

- Precisely ! - Inspector Cavallo.

I'm not from the tax office but we have contacts there.

Remind me to tell Colonel Azzato

about Mr. Gianni and his building.

- But... thanks a bunch. - It serves you right, wise guy.

So you are the ex-wife

of the corpse, of the deceased.

- We weren't married. - And you're from... ?

- Paris. - Paris.

Whereas you, Rossini, were the deceased's neighbour ?

Yes, though I lived upstairs. Let's say I was adjoining.

- Adjoining ? - An adjoining neighbour.

A neighbour. And you only met the young lady today ?

I met her late this morning, to be precise.

So you take it upon yourself to drive a young lady you've only just met

to identify the deceased at the hospital ? How come ?

- It's just something you do. - Because... yes.

Because yes. That's the explanation.

- ''Because yes''. - It's quite normal.

- Of course. - Why do you think it's suspicious ?

Because...

this gun was found in your home.

- What about it ? - What about it ?

It's identical to the gun this lady's ex-boyfriend shot himself with.

- The same ? - Identical !

Carnera...

for the police lab.

What the fuck are you doing ?

Oh, come on !

The two guns are practically identical.

It's my gun.

- Or rather, I brought it. - Whose gun is it ?

I stole it from my father-in-law. I took it from him.

- What for ? - I was going to kill myself.

- You too ? - Yes.

Why did you want to kill yourself ?

Because...

I think I'm in love with you.

Look, he's not well, he's going through...

- Do you remember when we kissed ? - No.

- What ? You can't have forgotten. - But I have, when did it happen ?

The evening I became a cub scout.

- You're a cub scout ? - Yes.

- So was I ! I was in the cubs, too. - I swear I don't remember.

Franci ! If you try hard you'll remember.

- Don't call me Franci. - Think carefully.

That's enough ! I don't remember.

Mr. Franci, think carefully. Think carefully.

What for ? It must've been about 30 years ago.

That is, if it ever happened.

- Do you really not remember ? - Not again ! Paolo, you're not well.

You're having a hard time, you're depressed, you've a baby on the way.

- Perhaps that's it. - A baby ?

The baby's got nothing to do with it. Yes, I am depressed.

I've been depressed all my life.

And I'm depressed because I think I'm in love with you.

- What ? Can we get back to... - You must.

I was at home last night, nice and quiet...

- Not that quiet. - Paolo !

Sorry.

I was fast asleep, then someone rang the doorbell.

I opened the door and it was my best friend, him, who said...

he was unhappy and had stolen his brother-in-law's gun.

- Father-in-law's. - Okay, it doesn't matter. Then...

There was a shout...

- Who shouted ? - Simona.

Patrizia, it doesn't matter.

Hold it, everyone. Simona and Patrizia shouted. Write it down.

No, only one, her name's Patrizia and she shouted.

But it's not relevant to the inquiry.

Let me decide what is relevant or not to my inquiry.

So this Patrizia shouts and Simona remains silent.

No, just Patrizia. Simona doesn't exist. Patrizia shouted.

Because...

I heard the doorbell in the middle of the night and...

I know it was stupid, I admit it,

aIso because I've nothing to hide, but I asked her to...

to hide under the bed.

You put Patrizia under the bed ? Write it down. What about Simona ?

There was no Simona, we're talking about Patrizia.

- Carry on. - I walked her out of the building.

And while I was in the street, I heard the gun shot.

I ran upstairs convinced he had shot himself,

but luckily when I got upstairs he was still alive. Is that clear ?

It's clear.

But we still have to establish what happened to Simona.

Hi.

Do you like snow ?

I love it. Do you ?

Me too.

You snore really loud, you know.

Yes, it's one of the few things I do well.

Sorry, I've got a bit of a cold.

How are you feeling ?

Would you come to the funeral with me today ?

Yes, of course.

Thanks.

- Do you want some tea ? - Yes.

I'll put the kettle on then.

- What's so funny ? - Nothing, sorry.

- It's not because I snore, is it ? - No.

Then tell me why you're laughing.

- It's silly, really it is. - If it's silly, tell me.

It's just the way you said ''kettle'', it made me laugh.

Kettle.

Kettle.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Can I have a shower ? - Help yourself.

- There's a clean bath-robe in there. - Thanks.

- Quit nodding. Want some tea ? - No. Is there any milk ?

I don't know.

Yes.

- It expired two days ago. - It'll do.

Yes.

- How's Frenchie doing ? - I don't know.

- I can't work her out. And you ? - I just can't believe it.

- believe what ? - That you've forgotten.

- Not again ! - That kiss ruined my life.

Paolo, you're not well, get that into your head.

You're confused, you're scared.

- You'll be fine once the baby's born. - Know what'd clear things up ?

What ?

- If I could kiss you again. - Come on !

- I've idealized that kiss, you see. - In what way ?

I remember that... when our lips touched,

I've never felt with a woman what I felt at that moment.

I don't think I'm homosexual, but I need to know if I love Elena or you.

- And the only way to find out... - I've told you.

..is to kiss you again.

- You're crazy ! - What does it matter, Franci ?

- Don't call me Franci. - Sorry. Just one kiss !

Just one kiss, but what if you like it, what will...

That's my problem and my therapist's. I promise I won't bother you again.

I promise.

- You promise ? - Absolutely !

Just a quick touch of the lips.

- No ? - It has to be like in the cub scouts.

What was it like ?

- With our tongues ? No way ! - Please !

- No tongues. - Please, Franci.

Don't call me Franci, it disgusts me. I haven't even brushed my teeth.

- So what ? Neither have l. - Later then, it's not hygienic.

Come on, please. No tongues.

How disgusting ! Why do I have to do this ?

Take it easy. I'll do it, don't move a muscle.

Disgusting !

- Well ? - I didn't enjoy it.

- Huh ? - I didn't enjoy it.

You didn't enjoy it ? You didn't enjoy it ?

What the fu.. no !

- I didn't enjoy it. - He didn't enjoy it.

I have to go.

- I've heard that before. - Duty calls.

listen, perhaps we could meet up one of these days.

No strings attached, aIso because in my line off work

I travel around a lot.

Okay, never mind. Forget I said anything.

What are you doing tonight ?

- I'm free. - I'll see you then ?

- Will you come in full uniform ? - Okay.

- Wear your soap opera dress. - I'll ask the wardrobe mistress...

- But it's covered in blood. - like the blood rushing to my head.

- Shall I come on my horse ? - Do you mean that ?

No.

- I really like you. - I like you too.

- Where are you going ? - To the funeral.

- It's today ? - I asked them to do it straight away.

- Do you mind if I don't come ? - Of course not.

- Funerals aren't really... - Don't worry.

- Shall we go ? - Yes.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Will you tidy up here ? - Yes, leave it to me.

Thanks.

Don't mention it. But that's enough now.

Enough.

- Good morning, Ms. Emilia. - Good morning.

Remember the rent's due, it's the 31st.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Aren't these great ? - Yes, they're lovely.

- They're rockets. - I gathered that.

- For tonight. - Well done, nice rockets.

They cost a fortune.

- You're going to... - Yes, we're going to...

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Is anything wrong ?

No...

I came about...

About ?

I am elaborating my own theory about the building,

based on which I think...

You left this behind ! Can I keep it ?

- No. - I'll throw it down then.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

You see ?

I am elaborating this theory, which might seem crazy,

maybe, but it's not... Good day...

Well ? I might just be in love.

Of course.

Do you fancy celebrating tonight ? It's New Year's Eve.

- Of course. Would you like to ? - I'd love to.

- We'll meet at my place then ? - It's my place, actually.

I pay the rent, so...

- I'll come. - Obviously.

- Will you tell Paolo ? - Okay.

- All right, let's go. - See you tonight.

I'll go in, I'm all a shiver.

Bye, bye.

So what did they say then ?

Okay, I'll get dressed and be right there.

Darling, that's the doorbell. Hold on.

Darling, I'll ring you back. Anna's here.

Yes, Anna.

I'll speak to you later.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Has the baby arrived ? - No, but very soon...

- Can I come in ? - Of course.

- Did you sleep here ? - Yes.

- Who is she ? - Who ?

The girl Francesco's seeing.

- The girl he just left with. - Francesca ?

- Her name's Francesca ? - Yes.

- Who is she ? - You're expecting another man's baby.

I'm not expecting another man's baby.

It's his.

What ?

The baby's his.

There is no other boyfriend, there never was.

- What are you saying ? - I made it all up.

Why ?

- Because I wanted revenge. - For him cheating on you ?

Does he know that ?

No.

- We bumped into each other yesterday. - He told me.

We arranged to meet but he didn't turn up.

Why did you vanish ?

I thought I didn't love him anymore.

But it's not true.

Then I found out about the baby.

Where has he gone ?

To the funeral of the guy downstairs. He shot himself.

He told me.

Francesco's taken his girlfriend to his funeral.

Francesca ?

That's right.

Don't say anything to Francesco, I want to tell him.

- Give Elena a big kiss from me. - Okay.

How are you doing ?

I'm swell.

I really feeI swell.

- Shall we go ? - Is it time ?

It's 8:00.

Let's wait till the others arrive or we'll look desperate.

What's the problem ? They're friends, no need for these games.

- Trust me, let's just wait. - Fine, we'll wait.

- There, someone's arrived. - Someone's arrived.

- Why are you whispering ? - Let's go.

- So it'll look like a coincidence. - Gianni, you're not normal.

- You're getting worse. - Come on !

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Are you here for... ? - Yes, I'm here for...

It's you !

Good evening.

- You're here for the... ? - I'm here for the...

- For the... ? - The party.

- The party ! - The party.

- There's a party, right ? - Of course. We've got some rockets.

I've brought my sword,

but it's a ceremonial sword, it only has a short blade.

It's nice though.

Let's go upstairs, Gianni. It's late.

- Do you need a hand ? - No, he can manage, thanks.

- Are you sure ? - If you'd be so kind, thanks.

That's quite all right. I'll see you upstairs.

Gianni, get a move on. We're late.

- Be quiet. - Slowly, eh ?

Say ''please''.

- You're here ! - Yes, I'm here.

- I was there before, now I'm here. - It's a small world.

A bit like a ramp of stairs.

What a lovely plume !

- I thought it was a casual gathering. - I don't do casual.

All right, are you coming too, or...

No, I told Paolo we'd be a bit late.

All right then...

- We'll go in, right, Gianni ? - Yes, Mario.

We'll be there right after I show her my ''sword''...

Why are you being so nice to me ?

I don't know...

I think if I were in the same situation...

I'd like someone to take care of me.

Do you have a girlfriend ?

No.

- Do you like me ? - No, no... that is, yes.

But I'm not being nice because of that.

- That, what ? - That I like you, or rather no...

I just felt like helping. And you were so alone and sad.

- I'm sorry. - What for ?

That I said I liked you, that is... I shouldn't have said it.

I like you too.

Really ?

Watch out !

What's going on ? It's Francesco's car.

- What ? - Francesco's run someone over !

- Oh God, it's Anna ! - Come with us in the ambulance.

Franci ! Let's go !

- What's happened ? - Francesco's run Anna over.

- Did he do it on purpose ? - I don't know, I don't think so.

- There's Francesca ! - It's freezing !

- Francesca ! Where's Francesco ? - In the ambulance.

- Where to ? - MedCentre, he said follow him.

- Where are they ? - They've taken her to hospital.

- How's Anna ? - I don't know, but she came round.

Thank goodness !

- Shall we go ? - Why ? I'm not family.

You soon will be.

Shall we go ?

- What about me ? - You go inside, we left the gas on.

Yeah, all right.

You go and get him.

You know her then ?

Yes, I know her well.

- Is it serious ? - I don't think so, it was a hard blow

but I don't think it's serious. What's her name ?

Anna.

- Anna Roselli. - How old is she ?

- 34. - Any medicines, chronic diseases ?

No, no...

- But she's pregnant. - How far gone ?

Four months, I think. Yes, four months.

Are you the father ?

No.

Why are we always left out of things ?

- In what way ? - They've all gone to the hospital.

I stayed behind for you, or I'd have gone to the hospital.

Let's not argue, not on New Year's Eve.

There he is !

- Well ? - They've taken her inside.

- What about the baby ? - I don't know.

- How did it happen ? - She appeared out of nowhere.

I don't know.

Crikey ! I'll go and see how she is.

They won't let you in, inspector.

I'm a dear friend of Dr. Azzato, the consultant. Leave it to me.

- Did you invite her too ? - No, she arrived after you left.

- She said that... - What ?

Nothing, she wanted to talk to you, and I said you were at the funeral.

So she left.

- I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry.

Thanks.

Well ?

She's fine, it wasn't a bad blow. She's just frightened, that's all.

- And the baby ? - She was on her own, fortunately.

- The baby's fine. - Oh, you mean the baby ?

The baby's better than it was before. They've even done...

We did a scan and it's fine.

They're doing a CT scan now to check her head, but...

- It's just the procedure... - We're not worried.

- Just a simple CT scan. - We'll discharge her tonight.

- Really ? - That's good news.

- She had a nasty fright. - A nasty fright, but it's over now.

- I'll go back inside. - Thanks.

- Thanks. - Inspector Cavallo.

Dr. Azzato, thank you. His daughter.

I've brought you something to eat. I've got something for everyone.

You could've told me. I'd have worn a nurse's uniform too.

That's all in the past.

Gianni... look.

Nice.

You look like a sea asshole.

Is there any sushi ?

Let's wait for the others.

Yes ?

I'm on my way ! Yes !

No, I'm already in the hospital. I'll explain later.

I'll be right up.

- This is it. - This is it !

- Let me know. - Yes, go on.

God, all this excitement !

You should've gone to music school.

- What shall we do, eat ? - How can you think about food ?

I just meant, while we wait...

- A piece of sushi. - What ?

A tiny piece of sushi.

- One each ? - Great.

- Which do you want ? - What's there ?

- Salmon, tuna and maki. - I'll have maki.

I'll have salmon. No !

Use the chopsticks.

- What the fuck are you doing ? - It's out of the fridge.

You're not normal, are you ?

- How was yours ? - Good. A bit salty, but tasty.

- I love sushi... - Shall we have more ?

Yes, but I wouldn't mind a drink.

- All we've got is our champagne. - Open it.

- It'll look bad drinking our stuff. - You're so sad !

How can you live like that ? Go on !

Open the champagne, the salmon's swimming back up.

That's what they do.

How are you feeling ?

Fine.

- I'm sorry. - Don't worry.

You appeared out of nowhere and...

I'm sorry.

- Anna. - Francesca.

- Have you calmed down ? - Yes, I'm feeling much better.

- Good evening, everyone. - Thanks, bye.

- I'm Inspector Cavallo. - Anna.

Excuse me.

It's Paolo.

Hello ?

- Really ? - She delivered ?

Congratulations ! Yes, yes !

Yes, first floor. I'll wait here.

- You made me jump. Walking already ? - He's the baby, not me.

- Are you okay ? - Yes.

- He's cute. - The most handsome of them all.

like you.

Why do you love me so much ?

Because you're the most handsome of them all.

What ?

Will you marry me ?

Yes ! Yes !

- Hi ! - You're all here !

- How did it go ? - Fine.

Hi, everybody !

- Which one is he ? - The one with the red blanket.

- like one of Garibaldi's men ! - How sweet !

I'm sorry, but you'll have to go now.

It's late and the babies need to sleep.

Forgive me, but Dr. Azzato in Maternity is a close friend of mine.

Yes, but the rule applies to everybody.

The rule applies to everybody, we have to go.

- Can't I stay ? I'm her husband. - He's the husband.

Those are the rules. You can come back tomorrow morning.

You see, it's who you know...

Bye.

My compliments. He's a beautiful baby.

- Perhaps we overdid it. - You overdid it.

I only ate 12 pieces.

And we shouldn't have opened the bottle.

- Shall we re-refill it ? - Huh ?

The bottle. Shall we re-refill it ?

- We need some lemonade. - Go and see if you can find some.

- They won't see it's not champagne ? - It's New Year's Eve.

''Happy New Year ! Hooray !''

What happened tonight was really crazy.

It's always been like that with us.

Do you love me ?

I'll love you all my life.

Even if I'm expecting another man's child ?

Even if you're expecting another man's child, yes.

Will you tell me a joke ?

- What does a cow on a blender do ? - What ?

Haven't you repaired them yet ?

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Rabid ? - No.

- What about the dog ? - Fuck you !

- Shall we go inside ? - Yes.

That old bitch !

Come on, Gianni, come on !

Come on ! It's nearly in. Come on, Gianni !

Hush ! It sounds like you're sticking it up my arse !

Why are you so uptight ? They're all at the hospital.

There !

Put the cage on it !

Put the cage on it.

Hi. What have you done here ?

I'll go and get the mop.

What happened was we were here, we were thirsty, so we...

The cork just flew out. Bang, bang, it blew its cork !

Just one bang. There's only one bottle.

- How's Anna ? - Fine, she's with Francesco.

- They're coming. - Good.

- And I've become a dad. - All the best !

- Congratulations. - We should eat something.

- Love, is that your stomach talking ? - Yes.

- What's it saying ? - ''He's a dad, let's eat something !''

Get the sushi out of the fridge.

- Sushi in the fridge ? - Yes.

Did you buy it from that restaurant, ''Hahohehi'' ?

- Yes, this morning, why ? - We shut it down this afternoon.

- Me and Inspector Azzato. - Azzato, from the tax office ?

No, his brother, from the Food Standards Agency.

Their fish was bad: 2 victims, 2 wounded, and 1 missing.

- The fish was rotten. - Thank goodness we didn't eat it.

- Thank goodness. - Thank goodness.

Thank goodness... thank goodness.

Let's eat something else then.

- I made cotechino sausage. - I'll warm it up.

And I'll slice it.

Forgive me.

I have to go, I'm going back to Paris.

Stay with us, it's only five minutes to the New Year.

No, I need to go. Not because of you, really.

- But I have to get away from here. - Can't you leave in the morning ?

It's snowing, there aren't any trains.

There's one leaving at 1 a.m. from the station. I took it last year.

Are you sure ?

Yes.

What a pity !

Thanks, you've all been so kind to me.

You're nice people, you've made me laugh, but I have to go now.

Will you come back sometime ? Next year maybe ?

Doubt it. Say goodbye to Francesco and Anna, and...

How sweet !

She said bye to you but got your name confused with your brother's.

- What ? - She said ''Bye, Gianni''.

No, that was French.

- Aren't you going to call him ? - Who ?

Your... what's his name ?

Francesco.

I see, Francesco.

He's with his friends.

One of those boyfriends who's always around.

Shall we go in ?

Yes, wait, I'll open the door.

Give me your hand.

Careful, it's slippery.

- There we are. - It's the first time you've done that.

It's the first time I've run you over.

There are lots of other things I haven't done for you.

- Nearly ready. How many minutes ? - How many ?

Exactly two minutes to go !

Two minutes !

- Gianni, let's light the rockets. - You've got one each.

- Has anyone got a lighter ? - I don't.

I don't smoke.

- The sofa ! - Look at him !

- Look ! - The sofa !

Look ! It's a miracle !

- You son of a... - Leave Mum out of this !

Get some water ! Put it out !

Don't you have any sandbags ? How come ?

Don't you have anything to put out a fire ?

Help me instead of talking crap !

My plume will catch fire !

I'm from the Carabinieri !

Call the fire department !

Come inside, Arturo.

Are you hungry ?

How would my life have been if I'd never met you ?

Would I still be here like this, now ?

I've written ''I love you'' in the cat litter.

I wonder if you'll see it.

Franci...

The baby...

it's ours.

There's never been anyone else, I love you.

FIRE ALARM