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1
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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
2
00:00:02,913 --> 00:00:04,663
That's it? Just press that?
3
00:00:06,580 --> 00:00:09,579
Hello?
4
00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:13,630
What... oh.
5
00:00:13,632 --> 00:00:15,465
Hi. My name is Bobby Newport.
6
00:00:15,466 --> 00:00:18,315
And as you can see, I'm in Switzerland
7
00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:21,005
at my family's private
Fox hunting estate.
8
00:00:21,007 --> 00:00:22,215
But I haven't caught any yet.
9
00:00:22,216 --> 00:00:23,715
They're so fast.
10
00:00:23,716 --> 00:00:27,048
You get close and it's
like... zoom... they're gone.
11
00:00:27,049 --> 00:00:29,548
Anyway, my friend Leslie Knope
12
00:00:29,549 --> 00:00:33,006
asked me if I would read this message.
13
00:00:33,007 --> 00:00:35,798
"Recently, the cast and writers
of 'Parks and Recreation'
14
00:00:35,799 --> 00:00:37,506
decided to reunite the cast
15
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and make a one-time
special to raise money
16
00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:42,340
for people hurt by the coronas.
17
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:44,590
We, along with NBC Universal,
18
00:00:44,591 --> 00:00:47,167
our neighbors at State Farm,
and our friends at Subaru,
19
00:00:47,169 --> 00:00:49,548
will be matching donations
to Feeding America,
20
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,548
a non-profit organization
21
00:00:51,549 --> 00:00:54,590
that helps people facing
hunger all over the country.
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00:00:54,591 --> 00:00:57,840
Please visit the website
and give if you can.
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00:00:57,841 --> 00:01:01,341
We hope you enjoy this 'Parks
and Recreation' special".
24
00:01:02,882 --> 00:01:04,090
What is she talking about?
25
00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:05,423
Something going on?
26
00:01:05,424 --> 00:01:07,466
I... I haven't watched the news lately.
27
00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:10,923
What?
28
00:01:10,924 --> 00:01:13,923
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
29
00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:17,946
♪♪
30
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:37,838
_
32
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[COMPUTER BEEPING]
33
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Hello, Congressman.
34
00:01:43,632 --> 00:01:45,590
Hey, babe. How are you?
35
00:01:45,591 --> 00:01:47,631
How are you is the question?
36
00:01:47,632 --> 00:01:49,631
I know that shirt and it worries me.
37
00:01:49,632 --> 00:01:51,423
The most incredible thing happened.
38
00:01:51,424 --> 00:01:53,881
Okay, so today I'm cleaning the house.
39
00:01:53,882 --> 00:01:56,048
I get dizzy from the cleaning supplies.
40
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,715
And then, I home-schooled the kids
41
00:01:57,716 --> 00:02:00,652
but they don't learn anything
because of the dizziness.
42
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,840
But then, I had the most amazing idea.
43
00:02:03,841 --> 00:02:06,756
Do you remember this guy?
44
00:02:06,757 --> 00:02:08,173
Oh, no.
45
00:02:08,174 --> 00:02:09,965
Ahh. But here's the twist.
46
00:02:09,966 --> 00:02:13,173
Do you also remember this?
47
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,340
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
48
00:02:14,341 --> 00:02:15,341
Oh, no, no, no, no.
49
00:02:15,342 --> 00:02:16,840
Six words, babe.
50
00:02:16,841 --> 00:02:20,340
"Cones of Dunshire..."
the claymation movie.
51
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,803
The entire story just
popped into my head.
52
00:02:22,805 --> 00:02:25,660
This humble little
nobody living his life,
53
00:02:25,662 --> 00:02:27,340
walking around on a random Tuesday.
54
00:02:27,341 --> 00:02:28,673
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
55
00:02:28,674 --> 00:02:30,816
When suddenly, he finds out
56
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,506
from an ancient scroll,
57
00:02:32,507 --> 00:02:35,756
that he is actually...
58
00:02:35,757 --> 00:02:36,840
The Ledgerman.
59
00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:38,925
Honey, did you put all the caps
60
00:02:38,927 --> 00:02:40,597
back on the cleaning supplies?
61
00:02:40,599 --> 00:02:42,006
Now, the title is either
62
00:02:42,007 --> 00:02:44,340
"Cones of Dunshire:
The Ledgerman's Ascent",
63
00:02:44,341 --> 00:02:45,881
or, of course,
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00:02:45,882 --> 00:02:48,411
"Cones of Dunshire: The Curse
of the Arbiter's Prophecy".
65
00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:50,548
Okay, honey. I'm gonna be
here at work for a while.
66
00:02:50,549 --> 00:02:52,873
I have to start the phone
tree, and then I will be home.
67
00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:54,438
Just hang in there. Keep it together.
68
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,727
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No... take your time.
69
00:02:55,729 --> 00:02:57,273
I'm just gonna start writing a story...
70
00:02:57,274 --> 00:02:58,439
[DISCONNECT CHIME]
71
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,231
Hello, Leslie.
72
00:03:00,232 --> 00:03:03,189
I see you are contacting me again.
73
00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:04,564
This is the system, Ron.
74
00:03:04,565 --> 00:03:06,106
7:00 p.m. phone tree.
75
00:03:06,107 --> 00:03:08,290
I call someone, and then
they call someone else,
76
00:03:08,292 --> 00:03:10,875
and we keep doing it until
everyone has been reached.
77
00:03:10,876 --> 00:03:12,708
This is the system.
You got a better system?
78
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:15,875
Yes. We talk far less than that.
79
00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:18,791
Or we just send each
other a photo of ourselves
80
00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:21,541
holding up today's newspaper
to prove we're okay.
81
00:03:21,542 --> 00:03:23,541
It's impossible to get
everyone on the phone
82
00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,166
at the same time, you know?
83
00:03:25,167 --> 00:03:26,698
And talking is important, Ron.
84
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,347
We have to look out for our
mental and emotional health.
85
00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:31,579
This is the only mental health I need.
86
00:03:31,581 --> 00:03:33,249
What are you doing?
Are you in your cabin?
87
00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:34,416
I am.
88
00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:35,875
I come up here to hunt meat
89
00:03:35,876 --> 00:03:38,375
so I don't have to go
to the grocery store.
90
00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:41,416
I've built up about a 12-year
supply of venison jerky.
91
00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:42,625
I can ship you some.
92
00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:45,166
You'd probably have to get
your incisor teeth sharpened.
93
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,750
Ew. No.
94
00:03:46,751 --> 00:03:49,916
When you travel, are you
practicing social distancing?
95
00:03:49,917 --> 00:03:51,875
I've been practicing social distancing
96
00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:53,416
since I was four years old.
97
00:03:53,417 --> 00:03:54,583
Why are you at work?
98
00:03:54,584 --> 00:03:56,083
Well, I shut down
99
00:03:56,084 --> 00:03:58,333
every national park in my jurisdiction.
100
00:03:58,334 --> 00:03:59,875
Sad but necessary.
101
00:03:59,876 --> 00:04:02,375
And then I volunteered
for several committees
102
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,750
to help us get through this.
103
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:06,250
Did you also create those committees?
104
00:04:06,251 --> 00:04:08,125
I did! So many committees, Ron.
105
00:04:08,126 --> 00:04:11,624
I'm chairing all of them.
It's every girl's dream.
106
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,250
But, you know, between
that and the kids,
107
00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:14,791
I've only been getting
two hours of sleep
108
00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:17,125
instead of my usual four.
109
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,791
This morning, I put
oatmeal on my fingernails
110
00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:21,250
because I thought it was nail polish.
111
00:04:21,251 --> 00:04:22,375
- [BEEP]
- I gotta go.
112
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,406
Keep the phone tree going, Ron.
113
00:04:24,408 --> 00:04:25,501
Who do I have to call
114
00:04:25,502 --> 00:04:27,958
for my second face-to-face conversation?
115
00:04:27,959 --> 00:04:30,125
According to today's random drawing,
116
00:04:30,126 --> 00:04:33,250
you are calling... Garry.
117
00:04:33,251 --> 00:04:35,250
Bully.
118
00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:37,416
[DISCONNECT CHIME]
119
00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:39,625
- Hey.
- Hello.
120
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,300
You got us for the phone tree?
121
00:04:41,302 --> 00:04:44,116
No, I got Garry, but I called you.
122
00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,931
What are you wearing?
123
00:04:45,933 --> 00:04:48,184
Andy and I put all of
our stuff in garbage bags,
124
00:04:48,186 --> 00:04:50,833
and every day I put on the
first five random things I pull out.
125
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,833
Okay. Where's Andy?
126
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,083
Andy! Ron's on!
127
00:04:55,084 --> 00:04:57,833
- Hey, Ron.
- Where are you, son?
128
00:04:57,834 --> 00:04:59,625
Why are you in another room?
129
00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:00,626
Are you quarantining?
130
00:05:00,627 --> 00:05:03,791
No, well, kinda.
131
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:05,958
I locked myself in the
shed. I can't get out.
132
00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,458
Why doesn't April let you out?
133
00:05:07,459 --> 00:05:09,666
Oh, Ron.
134
00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,750
Bert Macklin, FBI,
135
00:05:11,751 --> 00:05:13,666
does not need anyone to help him escape
136
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:14,833
a measly shed.
137
00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:16,416
How long have you been in there?
138
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,166
Two days. I'm pretty hungry.
139
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,666
Well...
140
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:22,291
I am going to go now.
141
00:05:22,292 --> 00:05:23,916
Wait... who are we
supposed to call next?
142
00:05:23,917 --> 00:05:25,833
I suppose you should call Garry.
143
00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:28,000
- Okay.
- [DISCONNECT CHIME]
144
00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:30,541
No [BLEEP] way we're
calling Garry, right?
145
00:05:30,542 --> 00:05:31,625
No. Gross.
146
00:05:31,626 --> 00:05:32,626
- No.
- [CALL CONNECTS]
147
00:05:32,627 --> 00:05:34,375
April Ludgate! Andy Dwyer!
148
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,708
Hi, guys.
149
00:05:35,709 --> 00:05:37,166
Ann Perkins, my beautiful wife.
150
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:39,208
- Hi.
- Why are you guys not together?
151
00:05:39,209 --> 00:05:40,625
Chris?
152
00:05:40,626 --> 00:05:42,375
Did you lock yourself in the shed?
153
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,489
Probably?
154
00:05:43,491 --> 00:05:44,875
I think that's pretty common these days.
155
00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:48,125
Actually, Andy, as I've
explained to you several times,
156
00:05:48,126 --> 00:05:50,375
Ann has gone back to work as a nurse.
157
00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:53,458
So out of an abundance of
caution, she is isolating
158
00:05:53,459 --> 00:05:55,348
in the southeast part of the house
159
00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:57,541
while the kids and I
are in the northwest,
160
00:05:57,542 --> 00:05:59,500
AKA the living room.
161
00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:01,625
- Hi, honey!
- Hi, babe!
162
00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:03,375
I'm just helping with out-patient care.
163
00:06:03,376 --> 00:06:04,875
Gotta do what we can.
164
00:06:04,876 --> 00:06:07,166
Chris is donating
blood four times a week.
165
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,708
- Oh, good for you, man.
- [LOCK CLATTERING]
166
00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:09,875
Who are you giving it to?
167
00:06:09,876 --> 00:06:12,208
Just kind of... whoever wants it?
168
00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:14,750
"Trade with the Postmates
guy" kinda thing?
169
00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:16,250
I used to date that guy.
170
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,500
Oh, no! Andy.
171
00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:19,750
The CDC asked me to donate
172
00:06:19,751 --> 00:06:22,750
because I am extremely healthy.
173
00:06:22,751 --> 00:06:24,916
My red blood cells are so big,
174
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,583
you can see them with the naked eye.
175
00:06:26,584 --> 00:06:28,041
They're like cherry Froot Loops!
176
00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:30,833
And my blood type is just positive.
177
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:32,916
They've designated him a super-healer.
178
00:06:32,917 --> 00:06:34,875
So far, it's just Megan Rapinoe,
179
00:06:34,876 --> 00:06:37,416
him, and a panther at the Miami zoo.
180
00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:39,583
Okay. Well, gotta go.
181
00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:40,916
Uh, remember, everybody.
182
00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:43,584
Wash your hands and throw all your
jewelry in a ditch in the backyard.
183
00:06:43,585 --> 00:06:44,708
- Good-bye.
- [CALL CONNECTS]
184
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:46,666
Hi, everyone. I'm here now.
185
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,541
Hi, Leslie. Bye, Leslie.
186
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,750
One of you has to call Garry now.
187
00:06:49,751 --> 00:06:51,634
- Haaaaah.
- [DISCONNECT CHIME]
188
00:06:51,636 --> 00:06:53,249
I know were not my designated call,
189
00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:55,125
but I had two minutes
before my next meeting,
190
00:06:55,126 --> 00:06:57,541
and I just wanted to say
hi and that I love you
191
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,625
and I miss your beautiful face
192
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,958
and your beautiful voice
and I'm worried about you.
193
00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:03,791
BOTH: Oh, thank you.
194
00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:06,625
Oh. You were talking about Ann.
195
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:07,750
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
196
00:07:07,751 --> 00:07:09,375
- I'll go now.
- [CALL DISCONNECTS]
197
00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:10,625
Hey. How are you?
198
00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,625
I'm okay. You know?
199
00:07:12,626 --> 00:07:13,958
Chris has been a real trooper.
200
00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:15,250
He's working from home,
201
00:07:15,251 --> 00:07:16,791
and he's doing everything with the kids.
202
00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:18,291
How is he exercising?
203
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:20,558
Well, we did have a Stairmaster
204
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,957
but he's been working out so much
205
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:23,625
that now it's just a smooth ramp.
206
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,041
We should call Garry, right?
207
00:07:25,042 --> 00:07:27,625
[BLOWS RASPBERRY] No, thanks.
208
00:07:27,626 --> 00:07:28,791
- [CALL CONNECTS]
- Hello.
209
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,291
Or should I say, "selamat pagi",
210
00:07:31,292 --> 00:07:32,875
as they say here in Bali?
211
00:07:32,876 --> 00:07:34,041
The hell?
212
00:07:34,042 --> 00:07:35,958
His book tour got cancelled,
213
00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:37,833
and it was supposed to
end with a trip to Bali
214
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:38,834
for him and Lucy.
215
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,000
How are you, Tom?
216
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,448
I haven't gotten you on the
phone tree for like a week.
217
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:43,547
Amazing.
218
00:07:43,549 --> 00:07:45,665
Just, uh, blitzing some
entrepreneurial ideas.
219
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:47,625
What do you think about this?
220
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:49,791
- Double-breasted pajamas.
- No.
221
00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:52,833
Protective masks with other
people's teeth printed on them.
222
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:55,833
Stay safe and look fresh as hell
223
00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:57,791
with Timothée Chalamet's smile?
224
00:07:57,792 --> 00:07:58,876
That's just weird.
225
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:00,665
Teeny tiny iPads for each finger?
226
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:01,667
Dumb.
227
00:08:01,668 --> 00:08:03,000
Lasagna...
228
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,291
that's also toilet paper?
229
00:08:05,292 --> 00:08:06,350
[SIGHS]
230
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,333
Yeah, I might be going
a little stir-crazy.
231
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:11,000
Some of these came to me
during my 11:00 p.m. nap.
232
00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,166
Isn't it weird time
has no meaning anymore?
233
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:15,458
Ooh. Is that something?
234
00:08:15,459 --> 00:08:18,041
A clock with dials
that just move randomly?
235
00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:19,208
Hang in there, Tom.
236
00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:20,875
Let's keep this phone tree going, okay?
237
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,541
Yep, yep. Who am I calling?
238
00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:23,542
Garry.
239
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:27,041
[LAUGHING]
240
00:08:27,042 --> 00:08:29,458
I'm not calling Garry.
241
00:08:29,459 --> 00:08:30,833
[DISCONNECT CHIME]
242
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:31,958
What up? What up?
243
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:33,625
Tommy! Oh, damn.
244
00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:35,458
- Are you in Bali?
- You know it.
245
00:08:35,459 --> 00:08:36,500
Hold on. I gotcha.
246
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:37,591
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
247
00:08:37,592 --> 00:08:39,541
Oh, snap. My friend Donna's here too?
248
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:40,958
I'll cheers to that.
249
00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:42,125
BOTH: Clink.
250
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:44,875
So, how's it going? How's Joe?
251
00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:46,375
I'm good. Joe's good.
252
00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:49,375
School is all online now,
so he's teaching from home.
253
00:08:49,376 --> 00:08:51,945
Tom, have you ever witnessed someone
254
00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:54,875
trying to teach a group of
young children something?
255
00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:55,948
Nope.
256
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:58,457
Based on my experiences
playing Fortnite,
257
00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:00,416
children are terrifying
258
00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,916
and make you cry almost immediately.
259
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,416
It's terrible. The man is a saint.
260
00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:05,583
The job is impossible.
261
00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:07,375
And every teacher deserves
262
00:09:07,376 --> 00:09:09,375
a brand-new Mercedes after all this.
263
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,083
Except for Joe, of course, 'cause
264
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,250
you know I already got him a Mercedes.
265
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,916
Oh, damn. Does it match yours?
266
00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:15,916
What you think? Clink.
267
00:09:15,917 --> 00:09:17,708
So who do I get next on the phone tree?
268
00:09:17,709 --> 00:09:19,833
Well, I'm sorry, boo-boo.
269
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,416
I hate to ruin your beach buzz...
270
00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:22,916
Ugh. Okay.
271
00:09:22,917 --> 00:09:25,083
Vacation over. Bye, babe!
272
00:09:25,084 --> 00:09:26,541
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
273
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:27,833
I got an idea.
274
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,250
Okay. Call him now.
275
00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:30,251
Okay.
276
00:09:30,252 --> 00:09:32,583
- [CALL CONNECTS]
- Well, hello there, Donna.
277
00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:34,416
Hey, Tom sent me this meeting number,
278
00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:36,750
and said Brené Brown was
giving an emergency TED talk.
279
00:09:36,751 --> 00:09:38,500
Oh, [BLEEP], Garry.
280
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:39,583
You're not Brené Brown.
281
00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:40,614
Aww.
282
00:09:40,616 --> 00:09:42,175
It's great to see you too, Leslie.
283
00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:44,791
So what's new, Mayor Gergich?
How's Pawnee doing?
284
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:45,875
Uh, well, not bad.
285
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:48,458
But I will tell you, some
people really fought me
286
00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:52,416
when I had to cancel the Annual
Pawnee Popsicle Lick 'N Pass.
287
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,958
Very weird tradition.
Why did we ever do that?
288
00:09:54,959 --> 00:09:56,125
Hold on a second.
289
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,875
I got some frosting in my ear thing.
290
00:09:58,876 --> 00:10:01,458
Okay.
291
00:10:01,459 --> 00:10:02,958
Garry, you're a dog.
292
00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:04,750
Oh, well.
293
00:10:04,751 --> 00:10:07,182
Gayle has called me that
a few times over the years.
294
00:10:07,184 --> 00:10:08,957
Ew, no. Stop.
295
00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:10,791
She means that you're literally a dog.
296
00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,625
You put a dog filter on your head.
297
00:10:12,626 --> 00:10:14,375
Oh, shoot. Okay, hold on.
298
00:10:14,376 --> 00:10:17,298
Um, yeah. Just turn that off.
299
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,290
Mm-kay. Is that better?
300
00:10:19,292 --> 00:10:21,958
I mean, you can see
the screen too, right?
301
00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:23,250
That's clearly not better.
302
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:25,251
- [SIGHS] Geez Louise.
- Okay, Garry.
303
00:10:25,252 --> 00:10:26,958
Ben and I are doing a media blitz
304
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,083
to give people an update
on where things stand.
305
00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:30,500
So, I don't know. Maybe we could
306
00:10:30,501 --> 00:10:33,102
add in some Pawnee outlets. You know?
307
00:10:33,104 --> 00:10:36,165
And remind people about the
official health guidelines
308
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,833
and how important it
is to stay connected.
309
00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,333
That would be awesome.
310
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,000
It is just so important that
311
00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,777
the people hear from
their trusted leaders.
312
00:10:42,779 --> 00:10:45,141
You know in a... in a crucial time
313
00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:48,124
and a crucial moment
in our history bec...
314
00:10:48,126 --> 00:10:50,167
[HOLDING BACK TEARS] I'm sorry.
315
00:10:50,168 --> 00:10:51,833
I'm just getting a little emotional.
316
00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,084
[LAUGHS, SNIFFS]
317
00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:58,834
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
318
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,140
♪♪
319
00:11:02,142 --> 00:11:04,332
Welcome to "At Home With Joan".
320
00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:06,833
I'm your host, Joan Callamezzo.
321
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,958
Today's guests are former
Pawnee City Councilwoman
322
00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:13,041
and current Deputy Director
323
00:11:13,042 --> 00:11:16,000
of the Department of the Interior,
324
00:11:16,001 --> 00:11:17,208
Leslie Knope.
325
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:18,333
Hi, Joan.
326
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:20,549
And her houseboy, Ben Wyatt.
327
00:11:20,551 --> 00:11:23,394
Um, I'm actually a member of
the House of Representatives,
328
00:11:23,396 --> 00:11:24,500
a Congressman.
329
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:26,541
Whatever sex fantasy works for you two.
330
00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:27,875
I'm not here to judge.
331
00:11:27,876 --> 00:11:30,500
So, Joan, during this tough time,
332
00:11:30,501 --> 00:11:31,791
we just wanna make sure
333
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,541
that people in Pawnee and across Indiana
334
00:11:34,542 --> 00:11:38,166
are making use of every
available resource for support.
335
00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,375
I agree with that.
336
00:11:39,376 --> 00:11:41,541
Times like these remind me
337
00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,666
of why I got into news.
338
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:46,041
People need a voice that they can trust.
339
00:11:46,042 --> 00:11:47,708
♪ Especially ♪
340
00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:50,916
♪ One with the voice of an angel ♪
341
00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:53,709
♪ A legend among icons ♪
342
00:11:55,251 --> 00:11:57,541
Uh, Leslie and I just wanna make sure
343
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,083
that people are focusing
on their mental health
344
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,583
as well as their physical health.
345
00:12:01,584 --> 00:12:03,833
Especially those who live alone.
346
00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:06,250
People who've spent a
lot of time on their own
347
00:12:06,251 --> 00:12:08,041
without human contact.
348
00:12:08,042 --> 00:12:09,888
Do you have someone
you can talk to, Joan?
349
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:13,079
Yes. A few years ago,
I accused Jennifer Lopez
350
00:12:13,081 --> 00:12:14,115
of stealing my look,
351
00:12:14,117 --> 00:12:17,916
and I got into quite a back
and forth with her attorney.
352
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:19,875
No. Friends, Joan.
353
00:12:19,876 --> 00:12:21,083
Look around.
354
00:12:21,084 --> 00:12:23,208
I'm surrounded by friends.
355
00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:25,583
Every night, I do a show for them
356
00:12:25,584 --> 00:12:27,916
called "Joan on Joan for Joan".
357
00:12:27,917 --> 00:12:30,583
I recount legendary
Joan Callamezzo moments
358
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,250
like how I scored my EGOT.
359
00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:35,291
- You have an EGOT?
- Yes.
360
00:12:35,292 --> 00:12:37,916
I've been banned from
all four ceremonies.
361
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:39,876
- [UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
- That's it for today.
362
00:12:39,877 --> 00:12:41,375
The show is two minutes long now.
363
00:12:41,376 --> 00:12:43,997
All right. Byeee.
364
00:12:43,999 --> 00:12:45,957
Hi. I'm Dennis Feinstein.
365
00:12:45,959 --> 00:12:49,750
And if you're anything like
me in these uncertain times,
366
00:12:49,751 --> 00:12:53,458
you're searching for a new scent or musk
367
00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:56,916
that also repels and eradicates
368
00:12:56,917 --> 00:12:58,250
any and all viruses.
369
00:12:58,251 --> 00:13:00,291
Introducing Miracle Cure,
370
00:13:00,292 --> 00:13:03,083
the cologne proven to kill anything
371
00:13:03,084 --> 00:13:04,541
it comes in contact with.
372
00:13:04,542 --> 00:13:05,958
How do I know that?
373
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,625
Because every single animal
374
00:13:07,626 --> 00:13:10,083
that smelled it, tasted, or ingested it
375
00:13:10,084 --> 00:13:11,250
died.
376
00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:14,089
And what are viruses but tiny animals
377
00:13:14,091 --> 00:13:15,333
that live in your body?
378
00:13:15,334 --> 00:13:16,334
I know what you're thinking.
379
00:13:16,335 --> 00:13:19,625
Shouldn't this be tested
out by "scientists",
380
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:22,250
or looked at by "doctors"?
381
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:24,458
No. You should listen to me,
382
00:13:24,459 --> 00:13:27,416
Dennis Feinstein, and my rich friends.
383
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,916
We know what's best for you.
384
00:13:29,917 --> 00:13:32,500
Miracle Cure.
385
00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:35,333
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
386
00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:36,625
♪♪
387
00:13:36,626 --> 00:13:38,750
Welcome to "Ya' Heard? With Perd".
388
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:39,916
I'm Perd Hapley,
389
00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:41,666
the Perd I mentioned a second ago
390
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:43,750
when I was telling you
the name of my show.
391
00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:45,782
Now, here today are two people
392
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,458
who are also my guests.
393
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,666
Leslie Knope from the
Department of the Interior
394
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:51,409
and Congressman Ben Wyatt.
395
00:13:51,411 --> 00:13:52,958
- Hi, Perd.
- Hey, Perd. How are you?
396
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:55,832
I guess my first question
is more of a query.
397
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,273
What did you want to talk about?
398
00:13:57,275 --> 00:14:01,625
Well, Perd, self-quarantine
can create a lot of anxiety.
399
00:14:01,626 --> 00:14:04,166
It's important that we
keep in touch with friends,
400
00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:06,291
we go on walks with loved ones,
401
00:14:06,292 --> 00:14:08,375
maybe explore a creative side.
402
00:14:08,376 --> 00:14:11,000
I, for example, am polishing a script
403
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:14,125
that just may be the most
ambitious Claymation epic...
404
00:14:14,126 --> 00:14:15,541
But... but... but... but...
but what my husband
405
00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:16,833
I think is trying to say
406
00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:18,708
is that, you know,
by any means possible,
407
00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:20,625
we should try to stay
connected with each other.
408
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,958
I can't talk to my friends every day,
409
00:14:22,959 --> 00:14:25,708
but I try to check in
with my best friend, Ann,
410
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:28,500
who is smart and beautiful
like a desert Fox.
411
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,666
That sounds scary.
412
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:33,250
She's actually volunteering as
a nurse right now in Michigan.
413
00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:36,389
Which is another way that people
can feel useful. You know?
414
00:14:36,391 --> 00:14:38,541
Please donate your time,
your money, your expertise
415
00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:40,250
in any way you can.
416
00:14:40,251 --> 00:14:41,875
We need everyone's help.
417
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:43,666
You heard it here first,
ladies and gentlemen.
418
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,166
And the "it" that you heard
419
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:47,250
was the things that
these people just said.
420
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:49,375
Now, a word from our sponsors.
421
00:14:49,376 --> 00:14:50,416
- [RELAXING MUSIC]
- Hello.
422
00:14:50,417 --> 00:14:52,041
I'm Dr. Jeremy Jamm.
423
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:55,041
This is a very stressful
time for all of us.
424
00:14:55,042 --> 00:14:57,666
And I'm sure you're all
thinking the same thing.
425
00:14:57,667 --> 00:15:00,498
How am I, Dr. Jeremy Jamm,
426
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,583
doing right now?
427
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:04,166
Well guess what. I'm doing great.
428
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,916
Gave myself this pretty
sweet quarantine haircut.
429
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,416
Totally nailed it.
430
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,000
I'm also offering a brand new service...
431
00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:13,208
Home Dental Delivery.
432
00:15:13,209 --> 00:15:14,625
You give me your credit card.
433
00:15:14,626 --> 00:15:17,125
I drop off at your house
a bunch of needles,
434
00:15:17,126 --> 00:15:19,625
gauze pads, drills.
435
00:15:19,626 --> 00:15:21,291
And then we'll get on the computer.
436
00:15:21,292 --> 00:15:23,291
I'll walk you through
your, uh, your root canal
437
00:15:23,292 --> 00:15:24,541
or whatever you got going on.
438
00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:26,708
Is it legal? Probably.
439
00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:29,375
Is it safe? That's up to you.
440
00:15:29,376 --> 00:15:32,041
You eff this up, it's your own fault.
441
00:15:32,042 --> 00:15:33,875
Jamm Orthodontia.
442
00:15:33,876 --> 00:15:36,458
Now you can Jamm yourself.
443
00:15:36,459 --> 00:15:38,583
Ooooo-OOOOOOO!
444
00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:40,291
Well, hello.
445
00:15:40,292 --> 00:15:42,791
Where have you been hiding,
you sexy little beast?
446
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:45,041
It's your boy, Jean Ralphio.
447
00:15:45,042 --> 00:15:48,250
And guess who just got
run over by a Porsche?
448
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:49,458
[CASH REGISTER CHIMES]
449
00:15:49,459 --> 00:15:50,958
This dude did not wanna go to court.
450
00:15:50,959 --> 00:15:54,083
- So I am flush with cash.
- [CASH REGISTER CHIMING]
451
00:15:54,084 --> 00:15:56,125
Saturated with bills.
452
00:15:56,126 --> 00:15:57,201
First thing I did?
453
00:15:57,202 --> 00:15:59,291
Obviously, I got this enormous house.
454
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,416
- There is no furniture in here,
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
455
00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:03,833
so everything echoes! [ECHOING]
456
00:16:03,834 --> 00:16:06,500
Second thing I did with the
racks on racks on racks...
457
00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:07,625
I got some commercial time.
458
00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:08,626
Now I know what you're thinking.
459
00:16:08,626 --> 00:16:09,626
"Does he have a business?
460
00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:10,791
"No, he doesn't have a business.
461
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,458
So what is he advertising?"
462
00:16:12,459 --> 00:16:13,625
Sha-boosh.
463
00:16:13,626 --> 00:16:15,750
This is my personal phone number.
464
00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:18,000
Call me anytime you want.
465
00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:19,791
I am that bored.
466
00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:22,625
And also, I have been banned from Cameo.
467
00:16:22,626 --> 00:16:26,458
♪ For doing my videos naked ♪
468
00:16:26,459 --> 00:16:28,166
♪ Naked ♪
469
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,666
Please call me.
470
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:32,166
I am very sad.
471
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:35,625
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
472
00:16:35,626 --> 00:16:37,097
And we are back.
473
00:16:37,099 --> 00:16:39,255
Now, I understand
you brought another guest
474
00:16:39,257 --> 00:16:41,833
who is someone who is not either of you.
475
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,875
That's right, Perd.
Someone who used to be
476
00:16:43,876 --> 00:16:46,833
a very popular children's
performer in Pawnee.
477
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:49,208
Jaaa, Johnny Karate!
478
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,833
Whaa! Haaah!
479
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,833
We asked Johnny to come on your show
480
00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,666
and speak to the children of Pawnee.
481
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,666
Chuuh. That's right, children.
482
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,875
Listen, I know things are weird now.
483
00:16:58,876 --> 00:17:01,500
You're at home. You...
484
00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:03,166
miss school. Ha!
485
00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:06,500
How strange is that?
You actually miss school.
486
00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:08,541
Your parents are home as well,
487
00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:10,041
and they're trying to teach you
488
00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:12,500
and it turns out they
can't teach you jack
489
00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,875
because they are so dumb.
490
00:17:14,876 --> 00:17:18,333
Well, kids, Johnny
Karate wants you to know
491
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:20,416
you must stay strong
492
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:22,541
and be nice to your parents.
493
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,875
Also...
494
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:27,583
chh, chh... these... wash them.
495
00:17:27,584 --> 00:17:29,083
Wash your hands.
496
00:17:29,084 --> 00:17:30,916
And I know what you're thinkin'.
497
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,083
I'm a 38-year-old
man, and I've literally
498
00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:35,750
never once washed my
hands in my entire life.
499
00:17:35,751 --> 00:17:37,916
Andy, have you never
washed your hands before?
500
00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:41,541
Point is, if we pull together,
501
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:42,583
you and I
502
00:17:42,584 --> 00:17:44,333
can karate... chop...
503
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:46,750
this... virus! Whhhh!
504
00:17:46,751 --> 00:17:48,708
Things will go back to normal.
505
00:17:48,709 --> 00:17:51,416
They just have to, and...
506
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:53,375
it might not be today.
507
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,375
It might not be tomorrow.
508
00:17:55,376 --> 00:17:57,250
It might not be next week.
509
00:17:57,251 --> 00:18:00,833
Might not be a year or a hundred years
510
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,416
or a thousand years.
511
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:03,906
It might never happen.
512
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,038
Dude.
513
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,082
But it will eventually.
514
00:18:07,084 --> 00:18:10,291
Boys, girls, this is Johnny Karate
515
00:18:10,292 --> 00:18:11,583
signing out.
516
00:18:11,584 --> 00:18:14,583
Chhha! Waai-chi-iii!
517
00:18:14,584 --> 00:18:16,083
[GROANS] Ohh...
518
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:18,541
Oh, when I did the kick,
I pulled something kinda...
519
00:18:18,542 --> 00:18:20,041
Johnny, we can still see you.
520
00:18:20,042 --> 00:18:21,583
Oh, right in my butthole.
521
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:22,731
Thank you, Johnny Karate
522
00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,915
for that very inspiring
and confusing message.
523
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:28,416
I am now gonna close this
little box that you're in
524
00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:32,084
and look at some funny
photos of doggies.
525
00:18:36,709 --> 00:18:37,957
[BEEP, CHIME]
526
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:39,541
- What?
- [SPRAYING SOUNDS]
527
00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:42,459
Ron? Where are you? I can't see you.
528
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:45,666
Good evening, Leslie.
529
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,201
Wow, you're really taking
530
00:18:47,203 --> 00:18:49,000
that protective gear
suggestion to heart.
531
00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:51,500
We're just dealing with a
little bit of an incident.
532
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:53,333
Earlier this evening, Diane and I
533
00:18:53,334 --> 00:18:56,333
took a hike in the woods
to take in the sunset
534
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,250
from atop a nearby crest.
535
00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:00,291
Okay. That sounds nice.
536
00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:03,500
It was. Unfortunately, upon our return,
537
00:19:03,501 --> 00:19:05,833
we discovered that a particularly nasty
538
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,626
little forest varmint
had broken into the cabin.
539
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,500
- What?!
- Hi, Leslie.
540
00:19:11,501 --> 00:19:13,523
Oh, my God, is that Tammy 2?
541
00:19:13,525 --> 00:19:16,666
Yep. Apparently, she's been
camping outside this whole time,
542
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:19,000
waiting for just the
right moment to strike.
543
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:22,708
I think her intention was to
join us in our marital bed...
544
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:24,281
- Mm-hmm.
- Eew!
545
00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:27,791
And then, what, wrap a piano
wire around my throat?
546
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,291
Uh-uh-uh!
547
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,708
Oh, apparently...
548
00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:33,625
- not my throat.
- Ha ha ha ha!
549
00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:35,209
What? Eew! Eew-eew-eew!
550
00:19:35,211 --> 00:19:37,477
In any case, I subdued her rather easily
551
00:19:37,479 --> 00:19:39,958
and Diane tied her to this chair.
552
00:19:39,959 --> 00:19:42,121
We were in the middle
of sterilizing the place
553
00:19:42,123 --> 00:19:43,458
with bleach when you called.
554
00:19:43,459 --> 00:19:44,764
What are you gonna do with her?
555
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,516
I'll probably put a note around her neck
556
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,457
and leave her down at the fire station.
557
00:19:48,459 --> 00:19:50,486
- How are you holding up?
- Not so great.
558
00:19:50,488 --> 00:19:52,708
You know, I just feel guilty
that I can't check in more.
559
00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:56,791
You can't? You forced us
all into a daily phone tree.
560
00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:59,041
But I can only talk to
one person at a time.
561
00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:01,541
And sometimes those people
are talking to each other
562
00:20:01,542 --> 00:20:03,458
without me... it's torture!
563
00:20:03,459 --> 00:20:05,625
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Ohh, okay, I have to take that.
564
00:20:05,626 --> 00:20:08,250
All right... I love you.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
565
00:20:08,251 --> 00:20:10,083
Just make sure you call the next person.
566
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,751
[DISCONNECT CHIME]
567
00:20:13,251 --> 00:20:15,894
Hey. Who were you
supposed to call this time?
568
00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,990
I don't care.
569
00:20:16,992 --> 00:20:20,083
I have an idea, and I need your help.
570
00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:21,751
'Kay.
571
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:26,751
[CONTINUES DRUMMING]
572
00:20:26,752 --> 00:20:28,449
_
573
00:20:28,451 --> 00:20:29,639
[PHONE CHIMES]
574
00:20:29,641 --> 00:20:32,139
- Hi.
- Hey. So I've been
575
00:20:32,141 --> 00:20:33,749
reading over my screenplay...
576
00:20:33,751 --> 00:20:35,750
- And it's nonsense?
- Yeah!
577
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:38,500
I mean, I don't even
remember writing some of this.
578
00:20:38,501 --> 00:20:40,250
I think I need to pay more attention
579
00:20:40,251 --> 00:20:41,916
to my mental and emotional health.
580
00:20:41,917 --> 00:20:43,416
Me too.
581
00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:44,916
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Oh, okay, hold on.
582
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:47,416
- I'm getting another call.
- Oh, uh, merge it.
583
00:20:47,417 --> 00:20:48,625
Trust me.
584
00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:50,291
- Hey!
- Hey!
585
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,625
Hey, guys!
586
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,708
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
587
00:20:53,709 --> 00:20:54,848
What's going on here?
588
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:56,719
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
589
00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:58,125
It finally happened!
590
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,179
Leslie, you said you needed something
591
00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:03,458
to lift your spirits, so Andrew...
592
00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:05,958
take it away.
593
00:21:05,959 --> 00:21:09,791
[GUITAR CHORDS]
594
00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:12,125
[GASPS]
595
00:21:12,126 --> 00:21:14,458
♪ Up in horsey heaven ♪
596
00:21:14,459 --> 00:21:15,660
♪ Here's the thing ♪
597
00:21:15,662 --> 00:21:17,291
Every time with this song.
598
00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:18,791
Wyatt!
599
00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:23,615
- Here we go.
- ♪ Trade your legs for angel's wings ♪
600
00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:25,306
♪♪
601
00:21:25,308 --> 00:21:28,457
♪ Once we go all said good-bye ♪
602
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:30,166
This is a long song.
603
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:31,750
Shut up, Ben!
604
00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:35,083
♪ You take a runnin'
leap and you learn ♪
605
00:21:35,084 --> 00:21:38,250
♪ To fly ♪
606
00:21:38,251 --> 00:21:42,500
♪ Bye-bye little Sebastian ♪
607
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:44,750
♪♪
608
00:21:44,751 --> 00:21:51,333
♪ Miss you in the saddest fashion ♪
609
00:21:51,334 --> 00:21:55,500
♪ Bye-bye, little Sebastian ♪
610
00:21:55,501 --> 00:21:57,750
♪♪
611
00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:02,083
♪ You're 5,000 candles in the wind ♪
612
00:22:02,084 --> 00:22:04,750
I'm gonna run out my entire battery.
613
00:22:04,751 --> 00:22:06,833
[SIGHS]
614
00:22:06,834 --> 00:22:11,541
♪ Though we all miss you every day ♪
615
00:22:11,542 --> 00:22:13,875
♪♪
616
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:18,208
♪ We know you're up there
eatin' Heaven's hay ♪
617
00:22:18,209 --> 00:22:20,041
♪♪
618
00:22:20,042 --> 00:22:23,375
♪ And here's the part that hurts ♪
619
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:26,708
♪ The most ♪
620
00:22:26,709 --> 00:22:29,541
♪ Humans cannot ride ♪
621
00:22:29,542 --> 00:22:31,625
♪ A ghost ♪
622
00:22:31,626 --> 00:22:33,541
Everybody sing it now!
623
00:22:33,542 --> 00:22:38,041
♪ Bye-bye, little Sebastian ♪
624
00:22:38,042 --> 00:22:39,875
♪♪
625
00:22:39,876 --> 00:22:45,958
♪ I miss you in the saddest fashion ♪
626
00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:48,934
♪ Bye-bye ♪
627
00:22:48,936 --> 00:22:51,041
♪ Little Sebastian ♪
628
00:22:51,042 --> 00:22:52,458
♪♪
629
00:22:52,459 --> 00:22:55,416
♪ You're 5,000 candles ♪
630
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:57,416
♪ In the wind ♪
631
00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,083
♪♪
632
00:22:59,084 --> 00:23:03,416
♪ Maybe some day we'll saddle up again ♪
633
00:23:03,417 --> 00:23:05,666
♪♪
634
00:23:05,667 --> 00:23:08,833
♪ I know I'll always miss ♪
635
00:23:08,834 --> 00:23:11,875
♪ My horsiest friend ♪
636
00:23:11,876 --> 00:23:15,916
♪♪
637
00:23:15,917 --> 00:23:19,666
♪ Spread your wings and fly ♪
638
00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:23,500
♪ Spread your wings and fly ♪
639
00:23:23,501 --> 00:23:24,750
[ALL WHOOPING, CHEERING]
640
00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:27,250
Oh, that was amazing!
641
00:23:27,251 --> 00:23:29,583
Someone needs to stop me
before I accidentally say
642
00:23:29,584 --> 00:23:31,416
this is the best month of my life.
643
00:23:31,417 --> 00:23:32,750
Thank you, everyone.
644
00:23:32,751 --> 00:23:34,250
- Bye!
- Bye, everyone.
645
00:23:34,251 --> 00:23:35,824
Bye! Bye, best friends!
646
00:23:35,826 --> 00:23:36,958
Bye-bye!
647
00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:39,958
Thank you very much for
doing this for me, Ron.
648
00:23:39,959 --> 00:23:42,291
It was easy. I just
called all your friends
649
00:23:42,292 --> 00:23:44,791
and told them I thought
you needed a little help.
650
00:23:44,792 --> 00:23:46,467
They cleared their schedules.
651
00:23:46,469 --> 00:23:48,741
I miss you very much, and I Love you.
652
00:23:48,743 --> 00:23:50,765
Now, go take Tammy to the fire station.
653
00:23:50,767 --> 00:23:52,906
We actually just covered her in deer fat
654
00:23:52,908 --> 00:23:54,458
and left her out for the wolves.
655
00:23:54,459 --> 00:23:55,791
- Ron!
- Don't worry.
656
00:23:55,792 --> 00:23:57,958
She's fine. She chewed through her ropes
657
00:23:57,959 --> 00:24:00,041
and went running off into the night.
658
00:24:00,042 --> 00:24:02,625
I'm actually a little
worried for the wolves.
659
00:24:02,626 --> 00:24:05,786
Leslie... don't spend all your time
660
00:24:05,788 --> 00:24:07,958
looking after other people.
661
00:24:07,959 --> 00:24:10,708
Look after yourself once in a while.
662
00:24:10,709 --> 00:24:13,125
That's good advice.
I'll call you tomorrow.
663
00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:14,791
I'm sure you will.
664
00:24:14,792 --> 00:24:16,500
[PHONE CHIMES]
665
00:24:16,501 --> 00:24:18,750
Leslie, can you help me fix my computer?
666
00:24:18,751 --> 00:24:22,613
Damn it, Garry!
667
00:24:22,615 --> 00:24:24,637
Thank you for watching, everyone,
668
00:24:24,639 --> 00:24:27,165
and if you can, please
donate to Feeding America
669
00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:28,666
at the website below
670
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:30,833
or any other charity that supports
671
00:24:30,834 --> 00:24:34,166
front line healthcare workers,
food insecure people,
672
00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:35,500
or citizens in need.
673
00:24:35,501 --> 00:24:37,000
And if you need to talk to someone,
674
00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:39,416
contact the National
Alliance on Mental Illness
675
00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:41,489
at nami.org.
676
00:24:41,491 --> 00:24:43,592
or any other organization
designed to help us
677
00:24:43,594 --> 00:24:44,666
through this tough time.
678
00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:47,416
Stay safe and hang in there.
We love you.
679
00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:48,583
- We love you.
- Stay safe.
680
00:24:48,584 --> 00:24:50,583
God bless you, stay safe.
681
00:24:50,584 --> 00:24:52,166
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
682
00:24:52,167 --> 00:24:53,939
- Stretch!
- Stay healthy, stay sane.
683
00:24:53,941 --> 00:24:55,941
This is... kind of weird.
684
00:24:58,988 --> 00:25:01,988
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
48341
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