Original subtitles

[SIGHS LOUDLY]

Aw, what's wrong?

Not having a care in the world getting you down?

It's Nora's and my three-month anniversary.

- Aww. - Aww.

And I want to take her out and do something nice.

- Aww! - Aww!

So, can I have 40 bucks?

Aww! No!

- Mom, please! - Here's $20.

Fold it in half, and it looks like $40.

But I want to do something really big and special.

Aw, you heteros and your grand gestures

to cover up your bad communication.

Girls don't need all that. Just be nice to her.

Tell her she's pretty. It's classic.

And it's free.

If you're done giving bad advice, can I go?

Tonight there is a supermoon.

You just take Nora's hand and look up

and let the magic of the supermoon do the rest.

Actually, the supermoon is just a regular moon

that's in its closest position to the Earth's orbit,

making the lunar disk look larger than usual.

Go before you catch this.

Pero cuidado!

The supermoon makes people do super-romantic things.

♪ This is it ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, whoa ♪

♪ One Day at a Time ♪

This is so beautiful.

I really outdid myself.

If I wasn't already pregnant, I'd say, "Let's go make a baby."

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I can't wait to see our little Schnavery!

- Schnavery. - Ha ha!

- Do you love it? - No, I hate it.

But I love you.

I love you, too.

I have never been so happy in my life.

Oh, me, too.

Which is crazy, because I literally own one of everything.

I own three.

Whoever said rich people can't be happy hasn't met us.

If somebody would have told me 10 years ago that I'd be sober

and with the love of my life, I would have said,

"Hey, bartender, you're not my therapist."

I was always too scared to let anyone in.

Figured if they saw the real me, they'd head for the hills.

Or the ocean, depending on traffic.

But you saw me.

And you stayed.

I'm always going to stay.

Forever.

Avery, I can't wait to have this baby with you.

[CHUCKLES]

Then we have to have two more,

'cause, you know, three of everything.

Well, I guess there's only one thing left for me to do...

Clean up after myself.

I'll get the tape measure.

Let's go back downstairs.

Ah. You did such a great job on the rooftop.

They're gonna love it.

I love it!

Everything looks beautiful, especially in the light

of the exactly-the-same-size- as-every-other-night moon.

You know, scientifically speaking,

the actual name of the supermoon is...

- perigee syzygy. - Perigee syzygy.

I love when you talk nerdy to me!

- Perigee syzygy. - Ohh.

I'm really so happy we're staying together for college.

It takes a load off,

and now I really can't wait till I'm at Yale.

And I can't wait till I'm at

the equally prestigious Quinnipiac University.

They call it the "Yale of Connecticut."

It really is beautiful up here.

Yeah.

I wonder who did all of this.

I mean, at least we get to use it.

Think of it as recycled romance...

Great for the environment.

That's so hot.

I mean, the Earth, but also you.

So, we're up here...

alone.

Should we, you know...

watch the new episode of "Batwoman"?

Ruby Rose in a bat-suit? Sign me up!

I love how we're so open with each other about our crushes.

Totally.

Who else do you have a crush on?

Ellen Page, Halsey, Samira Wiley, Hermione Granger.

Wow.

Four people just flew right out...

one on a broomstick.

Come on. You've got some, too.

Okay. I guess...

Emma Gonzalez and Janelle Monáe and Tanya the barista.

Who's Tanya?

That super-cute barista

that works in the coffee shop on the corner.

Oh. I thought we were doing celebrity crushes,

not real people who work and/or live in our neighborhoods.

I'm so sorry.

I probably only have a crush on her

because she gives me coffee.

I just have a crush on caffeine.

Elena, it's okay.

- This is good. - Yeah.

Look at us just freely talking about who we find attractive.

We're so evolved.

Great.

Great!

- Great. - Great.

[FOOTSTEPS]

Someone's coming.

It's probably who all of this is for.

- Will they be mad? - Yeah.

I ate all of these chocolate hearts before you got here.

This is so romantic.

I can't believe you did all this for me.

I did do all of this.

I know how much you like flowers.

And tablecloths.

And, wow, banners that are really banking on us making it.

Relax. You can't fold a $20 enough times

to pay for all this.

I'm sorry.

I just brought you up here to look at the moon.

I've been trying to figure out something special to do

for our three-month anniversary.

You don't have to do anything special.

Just, like, be nice to me and tell me I'm pretty.

I guess my mom knows how to get chicks.

- What? - Nothing.

Nora, I think you're the coolest,

prettiest girl I've ever known.

That works. Come here.

Hold it!

We were never here.

Enjoy the perigee syzygy.

I don't know those people.

Where were we?

I think we were about to be over here.

- I don't want to get a divorce! - What?!

Uh, I don't know. Forget I said it.

I can't forget it 'cause it was weird.

Sometimes I just say random stuff.

Two months ago, the In-N-Out cashier said, "Have a good day,"

and I said, "Thanks, Mommy."

I really freaked that dude out.

Come on, Alex.

What's going on?

Dime.

It's just...

you know, there's, like...

sex, right?

[SIGHS] And then the next thing you know, you're married,

and then you get a divorce,

and then I'm a single mother struggling to have it all!

I guess my parents' divorce kind of shook me up.

I get it.

But not every marriage ends in divorce.

That's true.

My abuelos were madly in love...

always like, "Ay, mi vida."

[DEEP VOICE] "Ay, mi amor."

[NORMAL VOICE] I mean, she still goes on dates with him,

and he's been dead 10 years.

That's so sweet!

Creepy but still really sweet.

Anyway, there's nothing to worry about.

We just started dating, and we're definitely not having sex.

Oh, we're not?

You just said you didn't want to.

Yeah, but I'm good now.

You're cute.

So, am I looking at a man now?

Mom, Elena's being mean to me!

Asked and answered.

Come here.

Look, I just want to say that I think it's really cool

that you set all that stuff up for Nora.

- I didn't set that stuff up. - I knew it!

You're not that smooth!

Alright, but if you didn't do it, then who did?

I don't know. I guess somebody's getting proposed to.

Hey. You guys know pudding can last for a year?

I'm gonna buy this in bulk.

Oh, by the way, Max is coming over.

He's super excited to take me to the roof to see the supermoon.

That's all he can talk about.

I'm like, "Easy, nerd. It's just a freakin' moon."

Wait, wait, wait.

Max invited you up to the roof to see the moon?

Yeah. I just said that. What, did you just get here?

Well, it's just because this is all happening so fast.

I just don't know how I feel about you going up to look at the moon.

What are you talking about? She's got to go up there!

This could be her last chance to see a moon!

No! 40 is the new 30!

There will be plenty of moons. Jupiter has four.

Okay.

I'm freaking out.

Mom is about to get surprise proposed to on the roof.

How do you feel about it?

- Max makes her happy. - Mm-hmm.

Not pudding happy, but happy.

And as far as cis white men go, you probably can't do better.

Wait.

Are you gonna go look at the moon wearing that?

Yeah. Why? Is there some sort of supermoon dress code?

No, just maybe a little lipstick

instead of the pudding you stole out of the earthquake kit.

Oh.

I'm gonna replace it.

Yeah, a woman shouldn't have to dress up

just to satisfy a cultural ideal created by men for men.

- Exactly! - Except for tonight.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- Hello. - Hey, you.

Hey.

Mwah!

So, uh, you excited?

- Yes, you have our blessing. - You're the bestest white guy!

Oh, nice.

No.

Hell, no. No, no, never, no.

Hell, no. No, no, never.

- Whoa! - No, I'm sorry, Max. I am.

I'm... The... The... The decorations, they're beautiful.

The flowers, the candle.

Oh, my God, the freakin' moon. It's perfect!

But I can't marry you.

No, never, ever, like, never.

J-Just to clarify, the answer is no.

Cool.

Wow. You bounce back real quick.

Yeah. I didn't do all this.

Do I look like the kind of guy that has to work this hard?

[SIGHS] No, I wasn't planning on proposing.

I just wanted to come up to the roof,

maybe get some under the light of the supermoon.

Oh. [LAUGHS]

That was almost awkward.

I like your plan. I do.

I like it. Let's go.

Yeah, ah, just... just wait a second.

Now that you turned down my non-proposal, I'm, uh...

I'm wondering what it is about me that made you

do a one-woman show about the word "no."

Oh, Max, it's not like that.

I made a promise to myself to never get married again,

no matter what the circumstances,

even if I was lucky enough to fall in love again.

I can't risk bringing someone into my home

and have it be torn apart.

I won't put my family through that pain again.

Oh, babe.

Okay.

But I love you.

You're so sweet and charming and great with my family.

And you drive me crazy.

You're perfect for me.

You're the husband I never want to marry.

That's something I never thought I'd want to hear.

[LAUGHS]

Well, it's not like you want to get married anyway, right?

You're too busy traveling around the world,

being this hot superhero medic

whose power is stopping dysentery.

Well, actually, since we're being really, really,

really honest,

uh, maybe we should talk about my job.

Okay.

Look, when I took the job,

I-I just needed to get out of the city.

Everything here reminded me of you.

But I wound up loving it.

The thing is, I'm away a lot...

and I can't promise you when that's gonna end.

Is that okay with you?

[SIGHS]

So, you're telling me you're here for a couple months

and then you're gone for a couple of months?

- Yeah, pretty much. - Yeah.

That's, like, my dream.

Mine, too.

Split my time between my two great loves... you...

and dysentery.

[LAUGHS]

See? You are like my supermoon.

Every couple months, you come around and light things up.

Penelope...

will you agree to never live together...

never take my name...

never file joint taxes...

but hang out with me a lot when both of us want to?

I hate that we're on the same eye level, but yes.

Yes, yes, Max!

Yes! A thousand times, yes!

Mommy, congratulations!

- Hey! - Welcome to the family!

Can I be your person of honor?

'Cause I was thinking we could go to the Museum of Tolerance

for your bachelorette party.

Ooooooh! Sounds like a rager!

Hey.

I'm sorry, guys. Max and I are not getting married.

It was the sweatpants, right?

Max and I love each other very much,

and we are deeply committed to each other,

but we're never getting married... like, never.

- It's... Never, ever. We're n... Okay. - Yeah, they get it.

Okay, but if Max didn't do this

and neither did we, then who did?

Because something romantic's going down.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

- Well, someone's coming. - Hide!

- No, no. Not in the awning. - There's a giant spider in there.

We locked eyes.

[GASPS] Ah!

- [CHUCKLES] - Ah! [LAUGHS]

Leslie!

Oh, oh, oh.

Perfect.

I waited so long to do this.

Oh, I'm just glad we're finally going to do it.

- Are you sure you're ready? - I am ready!

Should we just jump off the roof?

Leslie, help me take this top off.

It's really snug.

No, Mami! Keep your top on!

[BOTH SCREAM]

What are you doing?!

Don't scare an old man like Leslie like that!

Are those Papi's ashes?

Yes, and this top is hard to get off.

I heard voices. Are we starting?

Yes. Come in.

I was about to call you all to come up here.

And, Schneider, the roof is perfect.

Thank you. Thank you for helping Leslie decorate.

Hey, there's nothing we Alvarezes

won't do for each other.

Mami, I... What's going on?

I thought you and Dr. Berkowicz scattered Papi's ashes in Cuba.

Yeah. Well, that was the plan.

But, uh, after we got there, I-I couldn't do it.

It was not the Cuba that I remembered.

Everything was still there.

But it wasn't home anymore.

I guess I wanted to walk back into a photograph.

But you never can.

Berto wanted his final resting place to be at home,

and I realized that wherever we are...

is home.

Berto belongs with us, aquí.

- That's beautiful, Mami. - Mm.

I'm so glad you're doing this up here.

Actually, it was Leslie's idea

to spread Berto's ashes in the rooftop garden.

Since the first day I met Lydia,

she always spoke so lovingly of Berto's perfect zucchini.

At first it made me uncomfortable.

And then I realized she was talking about his garden.

And I thought this is the place he should be.

Papi loved coming up here.

He stayed for hours, planting flowers, growing vegetables.

Even at night, I'd find him working up here.

I know it in my heart that this is where Papi would want to be.

Papito, empieza.

Abuelita always says I remind her of you.

I get it. You were a good-looking man.

I'm gonna try really hard to live up to who you were.

Te quiero.

I wish you could see me now, Abuelito.

I mean, you were old-fashioned, but you loved me,

and I know you would have accepted me.

It makes me miss you even more.

I love you.

[SIGHS]

I miss you every day, Papi.

But you never feel far away because I see you in the kids.

Papito's smile and Elena's spirit, you're always there.

You'll always be with us.

Te quiero, Papi.

My dearest Berto...

...there is nothing I would not do for you.

Juntos...

para siempre, mi amor.

You can rest now.

You are home.

I'll see you tonight.

Papi, Papi, Papi.

We're done.

sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com