All language subtitles for Never.Have.I.Ever

[upbeat music playing]

[McEnroe] To the untrained eye,

it seemed like Devi had just bailed
on her best friends to help a boy...

-[phone dings]
-...who, five minutes ago,

wanted nothing to do with her.

[Fabiola]
Are you coming to the drama room?

[Devi] Just had to do one quick thing.
It's super important.

I'll be there in, like, ten minutes.

[McEnroe] But as you can see,
she had a plan.

She could help out Paxton and Eleanor.

And doesn't that make her
an even better friend,

nay, a better person?

Hi, Paxton. You said you needed me.

It's not me who needs you. It's my sister.

-What?
-She's applying to fashion school,

and was gonna shoot her portfolio today,

but none of her coworkers showed up
to help.

Wait. Your text made it seem like
this was an emergency.

I mean, it's a fashion emergency.

A fashion emergency?

[scoffs]
I just ditched my friends for this.

Come on. Look, she's really upset.

All right?
The photographer's already here, paid for.

-And since you've met Rebecca--
-Paxton, I can't.

Please. Look, it won't take that long.

You just have to model
a few outfits.

Wait. Model?

You want me to model?

Devi. Thank you.

You're a lifesaver.

[upbeat music]

Okay, but we have to do this fast.

What is that?

Tyra says the broken-down baby doll
is the most editorial look.

Can you just, like, stand normal?

Like catalog? Sure.

You're doing great, Devi.

[photographer]
Don't need the hands in the face.

Or in the hair.

Okay, just stand flat to camera

with your arms at your side
like a paper doll.

Kinda thought this would be
more of a collab, but okay.

You look good.

'Cause these clothes are sick.

When you become a famous designer,
could I be your muse,

like Bella Hadid is for Dior?

I'll probably just get a real model.

Fair enough.

I don't know, Becca.
She's kinda pulling it off.

Too many teeth.
I can see all of your teeth.

Please close your mouth.

That's it. It's over.
I'm giving up acting.

Say goodbye to my little friend!

Hope you enjoyed that
because that was my final impression.

[imitating Porky Pig]
That's all folks!

Okay, that was my last impression.

Eleanor, come on,
that's a little dramatic.

You're right.

I shouldn't be so dramatic.

Because from this point on,

drama is no longer part of my life.

Hello. My name is Eleanor.

My favorite color is beige,
and my dream is to be an accountant.

Oh, God. Where's Devi?

She was supposed to be here
an hour ago.

What the hell?

Thanks for helping out today.

It was awesome.

Did I do okay?

Rebecca seemed really happy.

I don't want to make this weird,

but, like, thanks for not telling people
I lied about us.

Well, I don't fake kiss and tell.

Does this mean we can be friends again?

Yeah. We're good.

[McEnroe] Devi felt relieved.

She had dug herself out of a hole
with Paxton,

and while there might be no chance
of romance anymore,

at least she had a friend,

because after all,
isn't friendship the most important--

[Fabiola] You're at Paxton's house?

Oh, God. Fab and Eleanor.

I gotta go.

See you at school.

[Rebecca] Stop.

You don't get to keep the clothes.

Well, I think Gisele usually gets
an outfit for her troubles, so...

Okay.

[Ben's dad] Here's the birthday boy.

Do you like your cake?

Yeah, I love it. It's, uh... It's me.
[chuckles]

I didn't know who you were
a fan of these days,

so I decided to have it made
after my favorite star.

[laughs]

Oh, I want a photo of you
next to your cake head.

Oh, okay.

[Ben's mom] Oh, honey, don't lean back.
That's not attractive.

-There you go. Yes!
-[camera clicks]

[laughing]

Listen, sweetie, I'm so, so sorry.

We have to go away on your birthday.

The moved up the launch
of 2 Chainz's new line of spiced rum,

and he says he needs me there.

Yeah, but we could cancel
if you want us to.

Because I would be more than happy
to not go to the Caribbean today...

and just stay here with my baby boy.

Bubelah, you say the word,

I'll get 2 on the phone
and tell him I'm not coming.

No, you should go.
Sixteen's not like a big birthday.

Uh, it's fine.
We can celebrate when you get back.

Are you sure?

Okay. Well, you know what?

If we're gonna be out of town,
you should throw yourself a party.

Absolutely!

-You have to have a party.
-No, I don't think so.

What?

When I was in high school,
I would've killed to have a birthday party

in a nice house like this.

I'll think about it.

You guys should get going.
You're gonna miss your plane.

Oh, Howard, why don't you give him
some cash, you know, so he doesn't starve.

Thousand dollars sound good?

But if you need more, just call.

Happy birthday, my favorite son.

-You know, he's your only son.
-[Ben's dad] That's why he's my favorite.

[Ben's mom] I know, but it sounds like
you have other children.

-Love you.
-[Ben's dad] Bye, bye.

[sentimental music playing]

Have you seen Eleanor and Fabiola?

Sorry, I haven't.

Then again, my eyes can't really pick up
anything below six.

Ben, I don't have time to listen
to you pretend to have standards.

What's going on? Are you okay?

Birthday acknowledgment, Ben.

-Uh, thanks.
-I don't want to presume it's a happy one.

It's okay if it's a sad one
or a neutral one.

Okay.

However you're feeling is right.

Just have a day.

Is it your birthday?
Why didn't you say something?

This is the one day
I have to be nice to you.

Then why did you punch me?

That was a friendship punch.

So, are you gonna
have a party or something?

Yeah, I don't really make a big deal
about birthdays.

I'm sort of a low-key man of mystery.

You Instagrammed your PSAT score.

Only to inspire others
to try to achieve the impossible.

Yo, Devi.

Rebecca uploaded your pictures
to her Wix site. You want to see?

You look great here.

You know what, David?

I actually think
I am going to have a party tonight.

-Really?
-Yeah.

So you should come if you want.

Okay. Awesome.

I'll be there.

Can Paxton come?

Yeah, definitely.

Cool. And how about Trent?

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Anyone can come.
Party at my house tonight.

[school bell rings]

Guys...

I know you're mad at me,

but I did come
to the drama room eventually.

I can't believe you ditched us for him.

I know, and I am really sorry,
but Paxton had an emergency too.

Was it worse than having your mom
abandon you?

[McEnroe] Let's see.
Paxton's emergency was a fun photo shoot,

so no, it was not worse
than having your mom abandon you.

Keep your mouth shut, Devi.

I'll make it up to you guys.
Did you hear about Ben's party?

We can go together.

We can get everyone drunk
with Fabiola's bomb beer pong skills.

We are going to the party, Devi,
but not with you.

Eleanor, what are you wearing?

You look like a sad librarian.

I'm different since I quit the play.

I'm no longer a creative person,

therefore, I no longer require
a colorful appearance.

Listen, I know I've been a bad friend,

-but I really--
-[Fabiola] Yeah, you have.

You just promised
that you'd be there for us

and then immediately blew us off.

I didn't really blow you guys off.
I just had--

Eric was more compassionate
to Eleanor's pain than you were.

He gave her a baggy of gummy worms
to cheer her up.

They were very old, and hard,
and covered with lint.

I did not eat them.

We're supposed to be best friends.
I left a funeral to be by your side

after Nick Jonas married an Indian woman
that wasn't you.

That was very hard on me.

Oh, yeah? Guess what? My mother leaving
was pretty hard on me too.

Of course. I know that,
and I am so sorry--

Fabiola and I are gonna take
a friend break from you.

I beg your P?

We just need some space right now.

Maybe losing us will make you appreciate
our friendship a little bit more.

I just think it's super unfair of them
to stop speaking to me.

Well, you did abandon them
to do an amateur fashion show

for a boy you barely even know.

But I said I was sorry.

If women didn't accept
each other's apologies,

The View would grind to a halt.

Okay, so you want to talk about
how to make it better with them?

No. I don't care.

I'm just gonna go to this party tonight
and hang out with my cooler friends,

like Paxton and Trent.

We're more alike anyways.

I find it a little hard to believe

that losing both your best friends
isn't bothering you at all.

Well, believe it, because I give zero F's.

I think you give many F's.

If that were me,

I'd be scared to lose two more people
that were that close to me.

You're bringing it back to my dad,
aren't you?

I am.

I'd be a bad therapist if I didn't.

Devi, listen.

You were so traumatized
by your dad's death,

you lost the use of your legs
for three months.

Yeah, I know.
What does that have to do with anything?

This thing with your friends,

baby girl, that's your grief.

So, my dad dies,
and suddenly, my friends are bitches?

Devi, you are so desperate
to not feel sad,

you've made your whole world
about this boy.

I'm a teenager.

My whole world is about boys.

I want you to allow yourself

to acknowledge the pain
you so clearly feel.

So you're saying I should get over
my sadness by getting really sad?

Why would I do that?

So I can be miserable and realize
the person I love the most

is never ever coming back?

Yes!

Because I think that would help you heal.

Well, I think I should get
a different therapist.

And I think you might be right.

What?

I want the best for you.

You know that.

But maybe you would benefit
from a different approach.

Are you serious?
You're breaking up with me too?

-Oh, this is not a breakup.
-You know what?

This is perfect.
I've always hated coming here.

So, peace out. See you never.

[sighs deeply]

[clock ticking]

[Nalini] It's ticking.

[laughs] Good work, Kamala.

Wow, this grandfather clock
is so handsome.

Almost makes me blush.

[door slams shut]

What's going on?
Why do we have a spooky Scooby-Doo clock?

Kamala's future husband
is visiting tomorrow,

and I thought the house could do
with a little touch of elegance.

He's not my future husband yet.
He's a potential future husband.

To that end,
do not touch the clock, Devi.

I'm returning it to the store
as soon as Prashant leaves.

Sure. Well, it feels like I'll just
be in your way if I stay here tonight.

Maybe I should go over to Eleanor's
for a study session.

We have un million French verbs
to conjugate over le weekend.

Verbs like "to party"?

"To drink alcohol"?

"To try opioids"?

Uh-huh, yes.
I know Ben Gross is having a party.

I'm a dermatologist.
Half my patients are acne-faced teenagers,

and boy, do they love to talk.

But it's Ben's birthday,

and you know how sad and lonely he is.

If I don't go, he might hurt himself.

The only person
who hurts themselves at parties is you.

The last one you were at,
you got bitten by a coyote,

the cousin of the wolf!

So you will stay here,
and you will study with Kamala,

the cousin of you.

That's so unfair.

Oh, actually, I was planning to work
at the Caltech library tonight.

Why don't you just work here?

I'm paying through my nose
for ultra-fast internet.

Someone should use it.

Sorry, Nalini Auntie.
Of course, I'll stay here

and take advantage
of your top-notch Wi-Fi.

Great. So you'll supervise Devi.

Where will you be?

I am taking my nurses
to see the musical Waitress

as a bonding exercise.

Apparently, American workplaces
need fun perks

to keep the employees interested
in earning a paycheck.

Anyway, I'll be home by 11:00,

and I expect you to be in bed by then.

[Devi scoffs]

-[grandfather clock chimes loudly]
-[both gasp]

Oh!

[Ben] Hey, Trent. Hey, Marcus.

Uh, can I get a cup of that punch?

Oh, it's not punch. It's grandma juice,

'cause one sip makes you demented.

-Right?
-Ooh.

Whoa, like, whoa.

Tell me what you think, bro.

-[coughs]
-Exactly. [laughs]

How is your grandma, Trent?

She has her good days.

[McEnroe] While most of her classmates
partied the night away at Ben's,

Devi was trapped at home
with only her calculator as company.

Dammit.

[McEnroe] But even the calculator
died of boredom.

[indie music playing loudly]

Kamala, where are the batteries?

Kamala, batteries!

Kamala!

Whoa. Kamala?

Devi!

Uh, this is my co-worker, Steve.

We're doing some research.

On how to hook up?

Oh, God.

I can't imagine what you must think of me.

I'm so ashamed.

Um, I think you're friggin' cool.

You snuck a boy into the house.
Have you done that before?

-No.
-Yep. I know the whole roof by touch.

Steve!

Holy shit.

This is amazing.

You're not perfect.

You're bad like me.

[laughs] Steve, why don't
you go downstairs and get a snack?

Oh, I'm not hungry. Thank you.

[whispering]
I obviously need to talk to my cousin!

Oh.

Gotcha. Will do.

Wow, Kamala. Wow!

Okay, so now you know I have
a secret boyfriend.

I wouldn't normally bring him
into the house while anyone was awake,

but he's been feeling insecure
because Prashant is coming.

Oh, my God. Right.

You're in a legit love triangle.

It's not a triangle.

It's more of a line and a dot
if you're really going to graph it.

But Prashant is just a formality
to appease my parents.

But I'm not going to marry him.

He's a complete stranger.

No offense, Kamala,
but I finally respect you.

That's very rude, Devi.

So, would you mind
not telling your mom about this?

Right.

[hip-hop song playing]

I'm gonna have to blackmail you.

♪ Sip a little bit
When I'm finished, give me another one ♪

♪ Takin' shots to the head
Like an uppercut ♪

♪ Finna to pump it up
Get the party jumpin' up ♪

♪ If you beefin'
You better squash that like butternut... ♪

[McEnroe] Devi had bought herself
two hours at Ben's party.

Unfortunately, those two hours began
with her very uncool arrival.

Promise me you'll be home by 11:00.

If you're late, I can't protect you
from "you know who."

I promise.
I'll make sure I'm home before my mom.

Hey, Kamala,

thanks for being cool
about me blackmailing you.

[exhales]

Don't drink too many sodas,
or you'll be up all night.

-[Devi] Don't be up with Steve all night.
-Ugh!

[McEnroe] Devi felt excited
about going to the party of the year.

That is until she remembered
that her best friends were coming,

and they currently hated her,

but hey, this was a rager.
Maybe she wouldn't even see them.

[hip-hop music playing]

Oh.

Hi.

Hi.

[Oliver] 'Sup, Devi?
You just missed our pre-game.

We ate nachos and watched two SpongeBobs.

What? Oh, right.
We're supposed to be mad at her.

Beat it, Vishwakumar.

Um, I really like your suit, Fab.

Thanks.

Hey, Eleanor, I heard that
there were drinks by the pool.

Oh... yes.

Wow. I'm sensing
a lot of tension right now.

David! You came.

Welcome to mi casa.

Wow. Like, I knew you were rich,

but this is like the house they live in
in The Bachelor.

[chuckles softly]

Wait. Is it that house?

No, but it was used
in a Peloton commercial once.

Here, let me give you a tour.

Take a right.

Oh, my God.
Is this a friggin' screening room?

Can you imagine watching Finding Nemo
on this?

He'd be like this big.

Thanks. My dad tore down
a historical landmark to build it.

Aren't your parents gonna be pissed
you threw a huge party here?

Oh, nah.

They're the ones who told me to throw it.

I think they feel guilty
about ditching me on my birthday.

Oh. I'm sorry. That sucks.

I'm used to it.

My life's kinda like Home Alone,

but if the parents realized
that Kevin got left behind,

and they just like stayed in Paris.
[laughs]

That's messed up, dude.

Well, I brought you a present.

My mom would be mad
if she found out I came here,

but she'd kill me if I came empty-handed.

[laughs] Wow. Thank you.

It's actually the only present I got
other than a postcard from my dentist.

Happy birthday, Ben.

Whoa!

Were you just trying to kiss me?

Uh... No. Yes, I'm sorry.

I don't...
I don't know what I was thinking.

Just forget I did that.

It's cool.

It's cool?

Ben! What the hell?

Don't you have a girlfriend?

Yeah. I'm an idiot. Um...

Okay. Now it's weird.

You've made it weird.

I'm just gonna go get a drink.

Hey, I'm really sorry. I'm kinda drunk.

Yeah, I can tell.

No, I'm serious.
I had way too much of Trent's punch.

Don't drink that, by the way.

Why? Is it laced with something?

LSD? CBD? MDMA?

No, Trent just put his balls in it.

See, they're all laughing
at anyone who drinks it now.

Oh! She's about to drink it.

Fabiola, no!

What the hell, Devi?

This suit is Anjelica Huston for Kohl's.

I spent all my science fair winnings
on it.

I'm sorry.

-Trent put his balls in--
-I don't care.

I don't want to hear another weak excuse
about why you're acting crazy.

[scoffs] What does that mean?

-Fabiola, let's just go. Come on.
-No!

I'm popping off.

I just wanted one night
where I wasn't sucked into your drama,

and now I am drenched in it.

Not everything is about you
and your problems!

[Devi] My problems?

I'm so sorry it's such an inconvenience
for you that my dad died.

Yeah, I know he did,

but that doesn't give you a free pass
to treat us like crap.

I don't treat you guys like crap.

You've turned into this fake person

that only cares about popularity
and Paxton,

and doesn't give a shit
about her real friends,

even when Eleanor's mom abandons her,

or I say that I'm gay!

-[boy] Wait! What?
-[kids murmuring]

Dammit.

You just made me come out
to our whole class!

Um, just to get it out there, I'm gay too.

[boy] Uh, obvi.

[girl] That makes sense.

We just miss our old friend,
but right now, you're not her.

You just seem lost.

Huh.

You know what? I should've just
let you drink Trent's ball juice.

And I'm not lost.

I know exactly where I am.

Oh!

[all laughing]

[sentimental music playing]

Whoa. That was like a crazy nerd fight.

Let's go make out in your parents' room.
Come on.

Maybe I could get more punch
and then just turn it into a pink suit?

Hey, you're gonna wanna use
baking soda on that.

I just stole some from the fridge.

Oh... thanks.

I'm gonna check on Oliver.

♪ No person can tell
Where it came from, what it means... ♪

So, that was pretty rough out there.

Yeah, it was a lot.

I'm not used to popping off.

It was very tiring.

Sure. Coming out to everyone,

and then pushing your friend
into the pool,

that can take a lot out of you.

I didn't push her. She fell.

[laughing] Okay, Big Little Lies.

[chuckles]

Seriously, though,

what you did out there took guts,
even if it was accidental.

Thanks.

I mean, I came out by getting stoned
and tweeting "me gay now."

[both laugh]

I know. It's gonna be a really
touching story to tell my children.

[clears throat]

Eve...

I know that I was weird to you before,

but if I haven't totally blown it,

would you wanna grab food sometime?

It doesn't have to be a date.
It can just be--

That sounds rad. Let's do it.

Aw!

I think you guys are gonna have
a really nice time.

Thanks for letting me borrow your sweats.

This is so embarrassing.

You keep having to rescue me at parties.

It's not embarrassing for me.
I always come out of it looking cool.

At least one of us looks cool.

Shit. What time is it?

Uh, I'd say 10:43.

Dang it. It's 10:45.

Crap! I'm supposed to be home by 11:00.

I'll take you. I've only had Red Bull,

so I'll be better at driving
than a sober person.

Okay.

["Fire For You" by Cannons playing]

♪ I was on fire for you ♪

♪ Where did you go? ♪

♪ I could have died for you ♪

♪ How could you not know? ♪

♪ I was alive with you ♪

♪ But you brought in the cold ♪

♪ Was I being lied to? ♪

♪ Wish I'd never met you ♪

♪ Starting to regret you ♪

♪ My heart just dropped ♪

♪ Thinking about you ♪

[song fades]

[cars shifts into park]

Thanks for bringing me home.

No problem.

Are you okay, by the way?

Yeah. The last bit of water
just drained out of my ear.

No, I meant about that fight
with your friends.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Right now, it kinda feels like
everyone in my life is just...

done with me.

Sorry. Forget I said that.
That was weird. I--

♪ I was on fire for you ♪

♪ Where did you go? ♪

♪ I could have died for you ♪

♪ How could you not know... ♪

Um, thanks for the ride and the kiss--
I mean the kiss--

I mean the clothes.

Yeah, sure.

I'll see you Monday, Devi.

[McEnroe] What?
What the hell just happened?

Do you believe in miracles?

Paxton Hall-Yoshida
just kissed Devi Vishwakumar.

Dr. Ryan and her friends were so wrong.

Devi wasn't lost.

She was a friggin' sexual conquistador

who had just snagged her first kiss
from a teenage Adonis,

and as far as she could tell,

that Jeep ride
just solved all her problems.

[man] Somebody's home late.

[tense music playing]

♪ 'Cause I'm not looking for love ♪

♪ No, I'm not looking for love tonight ♪

♪ I wasn't looking for love ♪

♪ No, I'm not looking for love tonight ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ No, I'm not looking for love ♪

♪ No, I'm not looking for love tonight ♪

♪ Without you ♪