Original subtitles

Youth is like toilet papers.

There seems to be much.

However, it runs out quickly.

As a 23-year-old otaku,

for women,

I have to admit:

I kissed some of them,

I loved some of them,

I saw some of them.

I kissed countless women.

I saw many of them, naked.

I often wondered when I was a kid:

Will my girl friend be an air stewardess?

Or, will she be a super model?

Moreover, will she be an nurse?

However, growing up, I just realized

those were just my imaginations.

Up until this point,

lam still, no doubt,

A VIRGIN!

Hey, can I borrow some?

O.K., take it.

Mine are out.

Thank you.

That is enough...

I still need some tomorrow.

He is my roommate: Mr. Cheap.

If we were all like him,

then, need not to worry about global warming.

The sea level will not rise,

and, we need no nuclear power plant.

Can I borrow your tooth paste?

Unfortunately, I just ran out of it.

I thought you said there is none.

Three things about Korean soap opera:

Car accident, consanguinity, fatal disease.

Three things about otaku:

Online dating, porn star, being so nice.

His name is Ning.

Nick name: Blind.

Computer, cell phone, tablet,

he confesses his feeling through all the channels

His believe:

As long as you confess: either a YES or a NO,

half half, quite fair.

If you kept your mouth shot, there would be none.

Three things about Jay Chou:

Oh oh, not bad, this is great.

Three things about local Taiwanese (Taiker):

Holy shit, fucking, what do you want.

Dee is a typical Taiker

We all call him: Go-Go-Dee.

This is our dorm.

The paradise of otaku.

OMG, can you be more disgusting?

How are we going to use this?

I take my bath, and you brush your teeth.

Mind your own business.

What are you doing?

You take your bath, and I do my No.1, what about that?

Let me finish it.

Otakus with different personalities,

but we have one thing in common:

Women, especially like this.

This one, the E-Goddess.

Eason is the goddess with E-cup.

OMG, this is too much!

From all these behaviors,

You can tell that we are all virgins.

Because we don't have cars, so we have no girlfriends.

Then, obviously, we don't have sex.

If we have a car, there would be women,

and, we can have some nice sex.

That is the rule: Sex comes with cars!

Rich people have nice cars, houses, and women

Poor people like us have mortgages for tuition, car, and house.

How can we compete with them?

Rich people like them

are the public enemy for otakus like us.

Hey, lady, close the door, please!

Hey, lady, your camera, your camera!

What the F are you talking about?

O.k., leave it, just leave it.

Hey, that is my camera!

Hey, that is my camera!

OMG!

What the F is going on?

When otaku meets his goddess,

his heart will be pumping like crazy.

The wind will blow through the goddess' hair.

Every otaku has his goddess.

When I first saw Ling,

I knew that she will be my goddess forever.

From Liu's: Biographies of Exemplary Women

There was a lady named: Chung-Li

Even though she was the queen, she was very ugly.

She had very dark skin and no boobs.

So, now, I would like you to give me some adjectives

to describe ugly people.

- Hideous. - Good!

- Plain. - Good!

- Grotesque. - Good!

Who is snoring?

How dare you! Sleeping in my class?!

You!

Give me an adjective

to describe ugly people.

O.K., give me a minute...

Just-like-you...

How dare you! Out, now!

You are late!

My grandma is very sick.

Go to your seat.

Thank you.

The meaning here is the head.

She was the queen of King Qui.

She was very ugly.

The meaning here is the head.

Are we clear about this article?

You are late.

My grandma is very sick.

Go to your seat.

Thank you.

The meaning here is the head.

OK, class if you want to learn English well.

Shakespeare is your best teacher.

To be or not to be

to be or not to be

Hey, you, over there.

The one with the bra.

Are you following us?

Stand up, and repeat it again.

To "e" or not to "e"

to be or not to be

to "e" or not to "e"

- be... -e...

- be... -e...

Do you have B?

Of course.

Sir, my morn says that B is a dirty word.

That B, which your mother is referring is a bad word.

However, my B is fine.

It is for foreigners.

Sir...

The yoga center next door

is the paradise for our otakus.

We all save our allowance for classes.

Here, tons of beauties,

with all those boobs.

"Execution by shooting."

"Please cover my eyes."

Dismiss.

Class is over.

The film festival of Media Study is on!

The movie combines reality and imaginary.

The most special thing is these are all amateurs.

But, they are so real on screen.

Yes.

So, we would like to cast amateurs,

in order to emphasis the reality of my film.

Wow, that bitchy lady is good!

She is...

a lawmakers.

What about that guy? The cheater?

A paparazzi.

This does not matter.

I would like to devote this to my goddess: Ling.

Ling!

Well, it is quite normal,

for a pretty girl like her,

to be with Wu, the tall-and-handsome rich guy, seems right.

Or, will she ever notice me?

Speaking the truth,

What is the difference between me and people like Wu?

Well, the biggest difference is:

Our dads...

He is my dad.

I am the only boy in the family.

He is illiterate.

So, he puts all his hope on me.

The only thing that my dad can write is his name:

Carrot Kuan.

At the night when my grandma was about to have my father,

She dreamed a golden Parrot.

So, she named his son: Parrot Kuan

However, her spelling was too bad,

so, my dad's name has become: Carrot Kuan.

When my dad was young, he got a weird disease.

The doctor said the only medication is human milk.

Luckily, the widow next door just had an abortion.

She just had too many milk.

So, my dad came to her house for milk every afternoon.

The sad widow and my sick dad

then had some connections day in and day out.

One day, that widow could not fight her feeling,

so she said to my dad:

What do you want from me?

I will say YES anyway!

My dad replied: Really?

For sure.

O.K.

Then, may I...

ask for...

a cookie?

That, I will have something to go with my milk.

You crazy stupid kid?!

Well, days later...

My dad married that widow, and they had me soon after.

My mother passed away 5 years ago.

However, my dad missed her boobs and milk too much.

He ran away from home.

Entering a world with boobs.

In here,

he even discovers the reason for Mad Cow Disease.

Think about it, if someone touches you every day,

but that person will not sleep with you at all.

You will go mad sooner or later.

A brand new day with brand new hopes.

Otakus are looking for girlfriends.

Ning is still trying all the ways.

Hi!

What?

Hello, do you have a plug here?

I work here.

I need to find a plug.

What do you want?

I am going to call the police, try me?

Why are you talking like this?

Why so serious? I just need to find a plug.

For your cell?

What else?

I thought you were looking for the plug for your cell.

O.K., we should all calm down.

Sorry, it was a mistake.

How should I know what you were thinking?

What was I thinking?

My mom says that we all need to be alert.

Not all people are good.

Well, your morn is quite right about this.

But, I look quite normal, right?

Hey, lady!

When will you be off?

What are you doing?

I just want to know when you will be off.

I need to work.

I am not telling you that I will be off at 9:30 PM.

Partying is also important for otakus.

Even though we are the wallflowers,

but, we always try to be the best.

Try not to be a virgin anymore.

All those rich people have those expensive cloth.

But, in the end, we are all the same.

The cloth is not the point, the face is!

Em odnu.

Read this, the other way

Undo me.

Pen...

Wow, your lifeline is long.

You should have a long life.

However, your loveline is not so good, so complicated.

O.K., that's take a look of your businessline.

Wow, very good!

You will make a good business in the future!

Ohhh, not a person with good temper.

Lleh ot og.

Repeat, the other way.

Go to hell.

Hahaha...

Just you?

No, I am not.

I have a date later.

However, I don't mind to have another.

Do you have a house or a car?

No.

I have a villa, so I don't need a house.

I have a driver, so I don't need a car.

However, my company went bankruptcy.

So, everything was gone.

But, now, my company is in the market again.

So, I have everything back.

For real?

Ohhh, you are so bad, tricking me all the time.

Let's play a game.

When I say one word, you should say the first word that comes to your mind.

O.K.

When I say:

- Teacher - Student

- Smart - Idiot

- Beauty - Beast

- Present - Card

- Dinner - Instant noodle

- Computer - Porn

Hey, otaku, stop pretending!

- I am asking you - What?

Can you swim?

No, I can't, what?

My dog is better than you.

My dog can swim, hahaha...

- Then, you must swim well - Of course.

Then, what is the difference between you and your dog? Hahaha...

Is it good?

Yeah!

Let me have a bite.

Let me have a bite.

O.K., put it there, behind your neck.

O.K., done.

May I?

Sure, smell it.

What are you doing?

Do you like me?

You look good, really.

Take me away.

Go where?

Anywhere, here we go!

Ling, you had too much.

Ling!

I am so sorry...

Mei...

What is happening here?

I think I smell something...

something like lemon.

Also, there is something more...

a bit like yeast.

If I am right, this should be...

Red-Whirlwind from France, 1968, am I right?

Yeah, should be...

We should have more conversations about red in the future.

I can't believe it.

Stop gargling.

I would like to know, how many family members do you have?

Only me.

Eleven?

No, not eleven,

just me.

Twenty-one?

You are wrong again.

Only one.

Seventy-one?

Are you really listening to me?

Just one person.

Ninety-one?

You dumb ass, just me.

Two-hundred and fifty-one?

Actually, just one.

Cheers!

Do you have a handkerchief?

Yes, do.

Wow, seldom people still have that.

I like to bring one with me all the time.

So old-fashion.

Is this clear?

Sure!

That night, we were on the bike for 2 hours.

The goddess had 8 beers.

She went to the bathroom 3 times.

She also cried 5 times.

I know I am not her first choice.

But, as long as I am with her, I am happy.

For what I have,

I should be lucky to her second choice.

I will be the best for being the second.

No regrets, I just want to be with my goddess.

When I was a kid,

my dad was broke.

He got tons of debt.

However, he did not want us to worry about this.

One night,

He jumped off here.

Then,

My sister had a serious car accident.

Her legs were broken.

All we had was my morn and her breakfast shop.

I am tired of being poor.

Wu, he is nice to me.

He is also rich.

He buys me everything.

He likes me wearing pretty cloth.

Even though I am mad,

he always have one night stand with other girls.

It is the first time for me to be this close to a girl.

And, she is telling me all about her.

Seeing her like this, she is so beautiful.

I think I am the happiest person on earth.

No.

Correction: the second happiest person.

OMG, he never came back last night.

I saw him kissing Ling last night.

- Fuck, that is not possible. - I mean it.

- I thought Ling is Wu's girlfriend? - Who knows?

Hey, were you and Ling together last night? How did it go?

I don't know where she lives.

So, I took her to a hotel.

A hotel!?

How much for one night?

What is the smell of her? Like lavender?

- Is she shaved? - Is she a C?

Is she wearing Victoria's Secret?

Or, Chanel No.5?

What is that?

I only remember her red nail polish.

You were deeply asleep yesterday, so I left earlier.

Thank you.

I know there is a Japanese all-you-can-eat restaurant, only NT 199.

Do you want to go together?

Thank you for your help yesterday.

Thank you!

You are so nice.

Ling...

I am sorry about yesterday night.

This is for you.

You must regret that

you did not take your move when she was sleeping last night.

Well, a goddess is untouchable.

I would rather just be around her.

I finally understand that the goddess in every boy's heart

is untouchable, and she was so far away.

If a goddess could be that easy,

she won't fit that name.

Then, that is not my goddess.

Here you are.

Yes.

Why are you here?

I would like to make a No.2, can't you tell?

Then, when are you leaving?

I will leave,

when I am done.

Then, after that, can you come here?

Hey, you must have the wrong person.

I am not gay, so I not coming.

O.K...

I am off now.

The idiot next door talks back all the time.

Come...

You are here for me.

Everybody wants my shoes, very good looking.

However, those are a little slippy.

Why are you here?

Can I ask you out?

Whatever, I am all O.K.

How about some hot pots?

Hot pots?

I will get pimples after eating that.

Then, how about the buffet next to the main entrance?

The last time I was there.

There were so many flies.

Come to my dorm, and I'll make you some instant noodles.

Instant noodles are delicious.

But, you can't have it too often.

Let's go get a coffee instead.

Last time, I had coffee, I couldn't sleep for two days.

We can't do this, and we can't do that. What can we do then?

I'm whatever.

Fine. I'll take you home.

Okay.

Let's take the bus.

Bus...

You know it is the traffic time now.

Then, take the taxi.

It's not far from home.

Don't you think you're

wasting money?

How about we walk home?

I haven't eat all day.

My stomach is rumbling.

Can't walk anymore.

Then, let's eat.

What would you like to eat?

I told you I'm flexible.

Just tell me what you want.

Okay... Fine...

Hot pot then.

Hot pot it is.

Let's...

Hot pot is too much.

I'm in my puberty...

Hi, how odd to see you here!

It is pretty odd.

I saw you running like hell over there.

So you pretend to bump into us coincidentally

You got me.

That's cute.

By the way, you need to bring a date to tonight's party.

Are you available?

Cause I don't have a date yet.

I can't.

I'm going with someone else.

- Oh... - Sorry...

Those handsome and wealthy jerks,

always hit on girls at school.

Then, they dump them afterward.

Don't say that cause you don't have a date.

Please. I have plenty of dates.

Just don't know which one to pick.

Don't worry. I'll be responsible for this.

Well, I'm available for sure.

Wanna come with me?

I need a date for tonight's party.

Those three can't find a date.

So they're there as performers.

Did they wear any cloth?

Awesome!

Excuse me.

Cool, right?

Where did you rent this?

It's my gift for Valentine's Day.

How nice! I want one, too.

Fuck yourself.

Here.

No one can stop me from getting dead drunk today.

What?

If you want someone to remember you,

then owe them money.

So, I want to owe you money.

Then, you'll remember me forever.

Nice try.

That's alright.

Are you alone today on Valentine's Day?

What? With a ghost?

Hahaha...

Alright, get your stuff and get going.

Fuck you.

Fuck away.

Bye, HaHa...

Excuse me.

Why are you alone?

Found a date so soon?

Nice suit.

Her present?

Oh...

Your girlfriend?

More like my backup.

Like I am yours, the second choice.

The suit suits you.

Is he here?

He'll be late.

It's Valentine's Day.

He better not leaves you here alone.

He'll be here in a sec.

Oh, you should be back.

You're backup is looking for you.

Alright then, happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

I heard you went horse riding to lose weight?

Ya. I lost like 11 pounds.

Can't tell.

Because it's the horse who lost 11 pounds. Hahaha!

Hahaha... You're back.

You'll remember this day.

2/14. Our anniversary.

"We should break up..."

Sorry, wrong person.

Don't forget me.

What's up with you?

You're too naive.

You don't get it.

What's wrong?

You can always talk to me.

I can stay with you.

You had a girlfriend before?

What about kissing?

No...

I've been thinking

If one day I met the one,

then everything would be better.

Then, I met Wu.

But, now, I have to forget about him.

Close your eyes.

This is my Valentine's gift for you.

I hope your first kiss

is to someone who truly loves you.

Not like me.

I hope...

I hope you can find someone you love.

And, the person loves you back.

He's proposing!

He's proposing.

That's super romantic.

That's beautiful.

Those texts are just jokes.

How about that? Romantic?

I'm dizzy. Take me home.

"See you later at the yoga room."

To be honest, I have tons of money.

I'm pursuing the mental relationship,

which is true love.

You get it?

These are all fine wines.

My dad collects wines, but he never drinks them.

Your house is huge!

Your heart beats fast. Wanna feel mine?

Let's drink.

I want you to know,

I take this seriously.

Otherwise, I'm ruthless.

I took your first kiss, did I?

No...

Don't bluff.

It isn't.

You don't have to be shy.

What I told you earlier about

that I have plenty of dates, all lies.

This is my first as well.

Good thing is I'm not a virgin.

I am.

Scream my name. Squeeze me. Spank me.

My dad is home.

Be careful. See you at school tomorrow.

I want to see you naked.

Did you lose your virginity?

What?

No...

Look at him.

This is the real tragedy.

That's gross.

Mei...

Why! Why are you doing this to me?

You for sure don't remember me?

I'm not bad looking.

You just have to see me more.

You'll get used to it.

People laugh at me. Saying you're ugly,.

And it's stupid for me to still be with you.

You don't want me, for me being ugly.

Since that day, I swore to lose weight.

I went through plastic surgeries. I even changed my name.

I endure all these pain just for that one day,

I want you to feel what I felt before.

Surprise?

Ten years gone by like that.

Even I didn't see this coming.

What a shame?!

Embarrassing, isn't it?

Look back. What?

Shiao-Mei... Sorry.

How pity.

You met the "wrong" people

at the "wrong" time.

It is called "trouble."

What if I met the "right" people at the "wrong" time?

That's called "pity."

What is "right" people at the "right" time?

Then that's "lucky."

LUCKY!

What?

A good news for you losers.

I heard there's a naked party tomorrow night.

Off campus.

Girls are free.

USD 100 for guys.

How about that!

And, there's a secret password.

It took me some efforts,

to get that password.

Anyone coming?

Not interested...

No.

Naked girls. You're saying no to naked girls?

Did I hear it wrong?

I can't afford it.

Unless you pay it for me.

It's on me.

Fuck you, otaku.

You'll be a virgin for life.

Useless shit.

Password?

Okay.

Pain in the ass.

Correct.

Hey, cutie.

You talking to me?

No...

I see. Your dick is talking to me.

No.

Go take a shower.

I'll Wait.

Hey, handsome.

You talking to me?

No.

I hear your ass is talking to me.

Shit.

Pain in the ass.

Miss me? Hi!

Hear this. I saw a statistic report.

It says how many men should women have to sleep with.

One is wasteful.

Five is balanced. Twenty is too many.

Fifty is killing ourselves.

Don't want to take advantages, and don't want to be taken by others.

Worried that we can't get a

good pay off for our love and hymen.

But, you know, who's the most helpless one?

Those ugly but smart women.

Men are assholes.

Men are driven by their dicks all the time.

I would walk away if I were them.

To be honest, I don't want to date her.

Or, listen to her.

I don't know she can be this talkative.

I'm sick of her mouth.

In talking or kissing.

Look at that, I'm all wet.

But, I don't want to hurt her feeling.

She is very proud of herself, too shy to admit.

My dad helped me getting into the Harvard MBA program.

I want you to come with me.

Married me after graduation.

For a couple years, you'll be an American citizen. How about that?

You don't like my plan?

Not really.

I want to be a teppanyaki apprentice after graduation.

I got this all figured out. USD 70 per month for apprentice.

USD 340 for professional.

Soon, we'll have enough for the down payment for a house.

Like in 20 years, this will do.

20 years!

I'll fly over tomorrow for some applications.

I'll come back for you after I'm done.

Fine. I'll trust you on this.

But for one condition. You have to be completely honest.

If you ever lied...

Let's just say...

I learned some martial arts when I was little.

Whoever fuck with me, I split them in half.

Why are you not eating?

YOU can open your EYES HOW.

Open your eyes.

Take whatever you like.

It's all on me.

Take everything you like.

I'll pay for them.

Wish me a happy birthday.

Happy birthday to me.

It's on me.

Truth or dare!

I pick Fei.

How many men did you sleep with?

Me...

Speaking the truth,

it's not that I don't want sex.

Life is cruel,

so, I was forced

to be a virgin for life.

You're lying. Take the shot.

Bring it on!

I pick...

I pick Kuan.

What?

Kiss your goddess right now.

Kiss...

What the hell? How embarrassed!

I like you.

I really like you.

I don't want to lie.

I really don't.

I've been thinking...

If one day,

I could met the one.

Everything would be alright.

I have something to tell you.

You're a nice person.

But you're too gay. It's not my type.

I think I like muscular guys.

So, I'm with Dee now.

Sorry...

I'm sorry. I know you're upset.

You can't force a relationship.

Take care.

Okay...

I got Ling's home address.

Even though it's not my concern.

I still want to share her feelings and troubles.

So that I can understand her more.

Hello?

Who are you? I don't know you.

I'm a friend of Ling.

Are you the boyfriend driving the supercar?

I don't have a supercar.

My sister isn't home. Can you take me out?

Will you buy me some expensive bags?

My sister always gets lots of bags from other people.

And, she sells them for cash, then she saves those for me.

That's enough. Thank you.

Thanks.

I'm doing a surgery on my knees.

My sister is gathering money for this operation.

She often has fights with my mother.

Is it my fault that we are like this?

Why can't I say it?

It's all true.

I wish we were rich.

Morn and my sister won't fight anymore.

Time to go home.

If you want to go to USA, then go.

You have no home here. This isn't your home.

Don't come back if you leave the place.

I don't want to come back anyway.

You're complaining every single moment.

We won't be this miserable if it wasn't for you.

If I stayed here any longer,

I'll be just like you one day.

What about it?

Shame on it?

That year, when your dad died, I should die with him.

Give birth to you son of...

Go on!

Do whatever you like. It has nothing to do with me.

Ling!

Bye.

You still brought a handkerchief?

Is it clean?

It's clean, has been washed.

I saw pictures of Wu flirting with other women

in his phone, again.

But, I'm not sad this time.

You know why?

So many people in nowadays get together

for the sake of money.

I'm exhausted.

Really exhausted...

I want to stop this.

I don't want to live in other people's expectation anymore.

The truth is, nothing can compare

to the one who treats you nicely.

Do you know what is love?

Do you have anyone who loves you?

I'm leaving the day after tomorrow.

Do you have anything you want to say to me?

Do you have enough money for your sister's surgery?

I can ask my dad for help.

When I am in USA, I'll take my sister there with me as well.

Wu will pay for the rest of the money for the surgery.

Do you really have to fight with your mother like that?

At that moment, we both know,

we won't have any chance to talk like this, alone.

Why does that two people in love,

usually try to hurt the other half?

I know what happens now,

will all be memories.

But, right now it's not just a memory.

It's a present in the present.

I look at her.

'Cause she's so beautiful.

Why you never tell me you love me?

'Cause I thought you don't want to hear that.

What if I do?

I just want you to be happy.

Cause you're my goddess, my muse.

You can't fulfill of others but yourself.

It's not love.

I don't want to be worshiped like a goddess.

I just want to be loved, for real.

Promise me you won't go to the airport the day after tomorrow.

I don't like to say goodbye.

You're a wonderful girl.

Whoever marries you,

it's his fortune.

You deserve to be loved, to be cherished.

No matter what...

Always remember that

The second choice, me, will be here waiting for you forever.

Two days after, the goddess migrates to USA.

I agreed not to go to the airport.

I couldn't help but to see her for the last time.

Even just a peek would be enough.

When I was little, I liked to sleep on mom's back.

Listened to her voice from the back.

Smelled her sweat from the back.

It's a sense of security.

You smell, too.

It's the smell of a man.

I like you.

I really do.

I'm sorry.

A person said to me that

once in a lifetime,

give if all for someone else,

not for ourselves,

and expect nothing in return.

I don't expect much,

but just pray to God that

we shall meet in my most beautiful moment.

Destiny is a book.

Details are missed if we browse through the book quickly.

We'll cry if we read it carefully.

Regardless of what happened,

life must go on.

The sex tape of Shiao-Mei

with that rich bastard is posted online.

That's enough!

Dirty! Filthy!

Let's hit him.

Stop! What do you want?

You fat ass.

Thanks for your concern.

I will never pick you even if all the men on the earth are dead.

I would rather be naked than to see you in the face.

Do worry. I got this.

Let's do this based on this picture.

How much would it be?

Ning finally understood that

nothing is impossible.

With enough money,

we can make another one identically to the first.

Shiao-Mei

Hey... Driver.

You're new?

How do you know?

Professionals don't drive like this.

How does a professional drive?

Watch the road! What the fuck?!

Tried to get yourself killed?

Do you even have a license? Get lost!

Fucking go home if you don't know how to drive!

Get Off! I'll drive.

You're so cool! Are you glad you meet me?

Before I knew you,

my life is black and white.

And, what happened after you met me?

Now it's all black!

You troll!

Hey brother...

Come. Have some for the nerve.

It's nothing.

Just drink it.

Okay.

You, too.

Drink. Don't be so polite.

Let's drink...

You, come on.

Not now... Wait till the police.

The love story of Mr. Cheap and Mei.

It's no different from most of the couples.

First starts with "sweetness."

Then, the second stage: "endurance."

Let me have a bit.

No way.

Just one bit.

Fuck off!

Till this stage.

They already forget why they fight.

I can't stand you anymore.

Always give me these shitty bags.

You said those are the best of the world.

My friends are teasing me at my back.

Now, that's a really good bag.

Passed down by generations, real leather.

The one I love, already have the other half.

The one that loves me,

so terrible.

In the next few months,

Ling totally disappeared.

No news at all, not even a word.

OMG, These are all eggs!

Stewed eggs.

Salted eggs.

Iron 9995

Moreover, century eggs. Eggs everywhere.

I might get a test score shaped like an egg after eating all these eggs.

There's no way that you'll get a zero.

Give me the chopstick.

Have two eggs and one chopstick, then you will get a hundred.

Hello.

Corning...

This is... I mean: Hi.

Hi...

Hi, I'm the dad.

Thank you for taking care of my son these days.

No fun for having eggs every day. Here.

What does that mean?

Nothing.

Just a little something.

Ohh, this is not something.

I told you before, did I?

Just something, please take it.

Then, I have nothing.

Why are we doing this?

Do you have something in your mind?

OMG, I told you it is nothing.

Here...

Oh... HaHaHa...

Thank you.

It is too much.

Here. I got this...

Okay...

You're interesting.

What?

Excuse me.

Since I arrived at USA,

I suddenly found out that I'm pregnant.

In the end of a relationship,

it's either getting married or breaking up.

Are we gonna get married?

You want to?

You wanna break up?

You must be kidding...

You miss home, don't you.

I'm pregnant.

For sure?

How could you be this careless?!

You don't want the baby?

It's not that I don't want this baby.

We're not ready for this.

And, you're yet so young.

Are you serious?

No.

I am going-

I didn't tell him about this.

He didn't come to me.

I am due in 2 days.

I don't want to give birth alone.

Will you be with me?

Don't worry. You got me.

Now I realized that

what I really want is

when I need a hug,

you will be there.

Moreover, you hold me even tighter.

Breath...

Breath...

I can see the head...

Harder...

More, harder...

Happy birthday to you cha cha cha

Happy birthday to you cha cha cha

Happy birthday to baby

Here it comes...

The baby is here!

Congrats! The baby has arrived

Congratulations!

Happy birthday to you

I woke up early this morning and made you something.

Here, some chicken soup and stew.

Woman needs to be taken good care of after giving birth.

Remember not to wash your hair.

Otherwise, you will catch a cold. Understand?

Morn...

Do you hate me?

After dad was gone,

my heart ached severely.

That kind of ache,

I can't bare it anymore.

And, you threaten to die with dad?

I was really scared.

I was so scared that you might really kill yourself.

I don't want to be hurt again.

So, I was afraid to love you.

I even try to hate you.

But, I realize

I just can't.

You dummy.

You're my child.

My blood and flesh.

How could I ever hate you?

Sweet... You got balls.

I'm gonna be a grandpa!

Here...

Take it! Both of you are too tired and need some rest.

You can only have the rest.

Congratulations, mother in law!

Thank you. Congratulations to you, too.

Men from my family might be useless.

However, we will take full responsibility if someone is knocked up.

Father in law.

A real man keeps him words.

Keep your promise.

I will, for sure.

It's your son who will take the responsibility, not you.

Oh... Yeah.

You thought that you're young,

and you have seen it all,

then life is over?

There's actually a love in the afternoon.

That might be the best time of your life.

Excuse me. May I ask about your age?

Thirty-eight.

I don't think so...

Forty.

Come on. Don't fake it.

It's pretty obvious.

Fine. Forty-two!

I saw a news yesterday.

A mouse drinks gas after it eats rocks.

Rocks? Holy shit, come on!

I'm fifty now, and I have never heard anything like this.

How old are you?

Fifty-ish...

How old exactly?

Honey“.

My love, it is OK...

It doesn't matter anyway.

"A year later..."

Does it help after watching all those foodtubes?

It's not like you are better with cooking now.

Then, what about all your porns?

You're not getting better in bed anyway.

Have you been drinking?

No.

Then, how come I smell alcohol?

Just some beers.

Beer is alcohol.

- Is ice water? - Nope.

- Is soda water a soda? - No.

- Is computer chip a computer? - No.

Is that a waterfall?

Guess not.

- Is beer alcohol? - No.

Right.

Here is the milk.

If you don't want it,

I will give it to our neighbor.

Are you giving me the milk or not?

Make your decision, now!

I should get of the car two hour ago.

Now, it is about to reach the final destination.

Are you crazy?

- Kenny. - Here.

- Ning. - Here.

- G.G.Dee. - Sup

That's different.

Like Sup?

SUP

O.K., stand over there.

And say "Sup" for a hundred times as a punishment.

Sup...

Who the fuck is commanding us?

The doctor, of course.

I just got my tooth extraction.

I forgot how to take the medicine.

Is it swelling?

If not, then no need to take it.

I am totally fine.

Yeah, right.

Chicken!

Say that again? I will take it.

I am not a chicken.

my father's pan. Bull shit>

Cut it as same as the sample shown in this book.

Same as the book.

Lic69