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1
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:20,247
When a man buys a ticket for a Magical
Mystery Tour, he knows what to expect.
2
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:25,919
We guarantee him the trip of a lifetime -
and that's just what he gets.
3
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:30,190
The incredible Magical Mystery Tour!
4
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,658
Ceaseless nagging!
Come on, we're going to be late
5
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,327
I can't go any quicker!
6
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,664
- Stop it!
- Come on!
7
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:50,671
Richard B. Starkey and his Aunt Jessica are
always arguing about one thing or another.
8
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,540
- Oh, I'm going!
- Oh, go! Go on!
9
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:59,079
And on a Sunday with the weather looking up
you'd think they'd have given it a rest.
10
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:03,383
For goodness' sake, stop sitting down!
All right, all right, what's your hurry?
11
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,453
But no - on and on they go.
12
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,992
"Good morning" said Richard.
"Good afternoon, sir", said the courier.
13
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,194
They were late
14
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,797
'Allo, Flo, you all right, girl?
I'll sit here.
15
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:21,068
Yes, I'll have the window seat - All
right, so you'll have the window seat!
16
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,573
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
17
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:29,710
Welcome to Magical Mystery Tours!
18
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:35,348
I am your courier, Jolly Jimmy Johnson!
19
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:39,019
All my friends call me Jolly Jimmy -
and you are all my friends!
20
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:43,590
Over here is your hostess, that lovely,
delightful, delectable... Wendy Winters!
21
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:50,030
And over here, our driver for the trip,
that wonderful driver, we hope...
22
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,934
Alf! Off you go, Alf!
Here we go now. Splendid!
23
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:57,037
Fasten your safety belts, please.
Away-way-way we go!
24
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:04,678
Away we go, Alf, splendid!
Very comfy in the back there, is it? Lovely
25
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:08,115
I say it's lovely. Get your popcorn out!
26
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:13,186
Right hand down. There we are, splendid.
And away we go.
27
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,491
Anyway, I'll tell you something,
you ain't coming away with me any more.
28
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,895
Who bought the tickets for this trip? I did.
Yeah, with my money. I gave you the money
29
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,533
I'm taking you out. You're not taking
me anywhere. Remember that.
30
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,504
And you've done nothing but eye all the
fellas on the coach since we got here
31
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,874
I dunno, since Uncle Jack died,
you've never been the same.
32
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:39,212
Of course I ain't, I ain't got Uncle Jack, have I?
- I remember him... I remember him...
33
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:44,317
If I ain't got him, I've got to get somebody
else. You should know, you're old enough at 21!
34
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:48,455
You should do a bit of knitting.
Do you good - Who for? You?
35
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,758
Should I knit for you?
No, don't knit for me.
36
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,701
Who is that man?
37
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,607
Oh, that's Mr Bloodvessel. He's quite
harmless, he comes on all the trips.
38
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,743
He thinks he's a courier.
39
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,212
Last trip, he thought he was the driver.
40
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:18,819
Well, you know when I saw your first film
I really thought you had something.
41
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,454
But it was...
I was only about six...
42
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:25,458
Wasn't it "Blue Lady"? "Lady in Blue"?
Something like that.
43
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:30,363
How old are you?
Myself, I'm 30...
44
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,024
but I look a little younger
due to the Fair Isle sweater which...
45
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:36,903
Excuse me, sir, I'd like to take a
photograph of the young lady. Do you mind?
46
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:42,175
I don't mind if Miss Gabriella doesn't.
Well, Miss Gabriella doesn't mind.
47
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,648
Can I have you up there?
48
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,455
My lucky day!
49
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,935
Good morning, lads and lasses.
My name is Miss Winters.
50
00:08:56,102 --> 00:09:00,974
Good morning Miss Winters,
Miss Winters, Miss Winters!
51
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:06,946
Yes, I just wanted to say if there's anything
I can do for you, you know what to do.
52
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:11,818
We at Magical Mysteries only have
your best interests at heart...
53
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,821
and your every wish is our command.
54
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:48,159
As the bus leaves the town behind
and heads for the country...
55
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,024
everything begins to change.
56
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:55,462
Well, almost everything.
57
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,172
And already the magic
is beginning to work
58
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:23,456
(The army sergeant is speaking
unintelligible nonsense)
59
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,471
Jolly good!
60
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:57,724
(Still speaking nonsense)
61
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,729
- Why?
- Why?
62
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,063
Why?
63
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,100
(Still speaking nonsense)
64
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,707
and get your bloody hair cut!
65
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,296
Jolly good, Sarge, carry on.
66
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:08,147
On your marks... Get set...
67
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,350
Go!
68
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,960
Second gear! Come on!
69
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,676
Who's getting in that car?
Who is it?
70
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,583
Come on, come on.
We've gotta win those with the bikes!
71
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:55,054
Stop it! Out of the road, you stupid...
He's picking the vicars up!
72
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,156
Hold on, we've got 'em now, folks!
73
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:52,572
If you look to your left, ladies and
gentleman, the view is not very inspiring.
74
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,541
Ah... but if you look to your right...
75
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:49,455
Beyond the blue horizon,
far above the clouds...
76
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:51,791
in a land that no-one knows...
77
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:57,530
live four or five magicians who spend
their days casting wonderful spells.
78
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:03,803
Come with me now into that secret place
where the eyes of man have never set foot.
79
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,787
Where's the bus?
80
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,499
Where's the bus?
81
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,876
Where's the bus?
82
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,213
It's coming.
83
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:51,884
Where's the bus?
84
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,386
The bus?
85
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:01,861
The bus is ten miles north
on the Dewsbury road.
86
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,865
It's only ten miles away.
87
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,534
Bus... ten miles! Soon be here.
88
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:18,410
Oh, ladies and gentlemen,
quickly, look to your left.
89
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:21,147
Now there you see
the ancient Roman ruins.
90
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:24,316
Now they really have been there
an awful long time.
91
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:29,622
They are in fact a little difficult to see because
they're almost flattened to the ground...
92
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:35,461
Meanwhile, back on the bus,
things are happening - and life lobbies on.
93
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:39,999
Indeed, the magic is so powerful that even
Mr Bloodvessel emerges from his shell.
94
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,700
He turns to speak.
95
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,837
If I may take the liberty, Mr...
96
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,073
Be my guest - Give over!
97
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,478
My dear lady...
98
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:57,817
My dear lady, doesn't intuition
tell you what I feel?
99
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:01,220
Don't interrupt.
100
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,522
You bring out my...
101
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,629
I... love you!
102
00:22:57,576 --> 00:23:00,546
Love you! Love you!
103
00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:29,068
I am the courier.
104
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:34,807
Good morning, men... and women.
105
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:40,746
Welcome. I am your friendly courier.
106
00:24:42,548 --> 00:24:45,818
Mr Bloodvessel is my name.
107
00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:48,687
Buster Bloodvessel.
108
00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:54,693
I am concerned for you
to enjoy yourselves...
109
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:59,164
within the limits of British decency.
110
00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:01,800
You know what I mean... don't you?
111
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:05,304
Well? Don't you?
112
00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:08,841
Yes, Mr Bloodvessel.
113
00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,449
What about Five little Dickie birds
sitting on your head...
114
00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,185
one named Charlie and one named Fred.
Yes.
115
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,855
Do that one then.
You do it with me.
116
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:56,428
OK. Five little Dickie birds
sitting on your head, one named...
117
00:29:56,595 --> 00:30:01,800
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, whoops!
Charlie, whoops! Charlie, Charlie...
118
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:04,803
- Can you do that one?
- No.
119
00:30:04,903 --> 00:30:07,806
Yes - No!
120
00:30:07,906 --> 00:30:09,441
Yes - No!
121
00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:12,210
I've got a present for you. Do you know what it is?
- No.
122
00:30:12,344 --> 00:30:14,146
Have a guess - No!
123
00:30:14,246 --> 00:30:17,215
Go on, have a guess - No.
124
00:30:17,316 --> 00:30:19,885
- Have a guess!
- No!
125
00:30:20,852 --> 00:30:23,455
Well you're going to get it anyway.
126
00:30:25,524 --> 00:30:28,226
What's that?
Wait a Mo, wait a Mo.
127
00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:32,130
- Do you want to blow it?
- No.
128
00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:42,374
All right, should we give it to George?
Yeah.
129
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:46,044
There you are, George. Thank you
130
00:30:47,312 --> 00:30:53,018
George, George, George, George,
Oops! George, Oops! George, George...
131
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:56,321
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
132
00:30:56,488 --> 00:31:02,861
Our estimated time of arrival for luncheon
is approximately 1:15. Thank you.
133
00:31:03,562 --> 00:31:06,031
- Now shut up!
- Shut up?
134
00:31:06,131 --> 00:31:11,002
I've had enough of it. I can't stand it
any more! I'm getting off! Off!
135
00:31:11,336 --> 00:31:12,904
Don't get historical!
136
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:31,490
Aunt Jessie's hungry.
137
00:31:32,691 --> 00:31:34,860
And she's dreaming.
138
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,798
She's dreaming about food...
food... food.
139
00:31:40,432 --> 00:31:42,667
Beautiful food.
140
00:31:42,768 --> 00:31:45,637
Oh, lettuce (food)...
141
00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:48,373
potatoes (food)...
142
00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:50,409
apples (food)
143
00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:53,378
Oh, lovely food.
144
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:57,215
Lots and lots of spaghetti.
145
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,868
This time I mean it!
146
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:55,740
I can't breathe any more. It's too much.
147
00:33:09,621 --> 00:33:13,825
All this... mud... in 45 minutes!
148
00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:16,862
I can hardly get my breath!
149
00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:21,967
It's intake, Jessie, not output
150
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:25,370
lam, I am!
151
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:29,241
I am already!
Three times this week already!
152
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:34,713
For goodness' sake, Jessie, sit down.
Remember!
153
00:33:38,149 --> 00:33:41,853
I don't care! This is the way
he would have wanted it.
154
00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:13,585
Pirandello!
Help me up the stairs.
155
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:16,955
Yes, lady.
156
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,134
Wake up, Jessie.
157
00:35:17,716 --> 00:35:22,420
There's no business like show business,
there's no business I know.
158
00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:26,124
Everything about it is so appealing.
159
00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:30,295
Let's go on wit' show.
160
00:36:04,462 --> 00:36:06,531
Ta da!
161
00:36:06,731 --> 00:36:09,868
Here we are again! Everybody up
and quickly in your seats.
162
00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:11,769
Well, well, well. They are a happy crowd.
163
00:41:12,670 --> 00:41:16,341
Go on. Come along, back on the bus.
Come on.
164
00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:32,090
Ooh... Wonder what the magicians
are cooking up now!
165
00:41:32,924 --> 00:41:34,425
Ready!
166
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,763
Tea up, fellas.
167
00:41:40,465 --> 00:41:45,770
Ooh, talk about your magical mysteries, I've
spent half an hour looking for that sugar!
168
00:41:46,371 --> 00:41:48,539
I was half an hour
looking for the sugar.
169
00:41:48,706 --> 00:41:51,709
Is there one for me?
Aye, there's one over here, Richard.
170
00:41:51,809 --> 00:41:56,014
Oh, how are you, Bonzo? All right?
Any news of the bus?
171
00:41:56,114 --> 00:42:00,284
The bus? It's ten miles north
on the Dewsbury road.
172
00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:02,820
And they're having a lovely time.
173
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,958
They're having a lovely time!
They're having a lovely time!
174
00:42:07,592 --> 00:42:09,994
Can you tell me what's next
on the agenda?
175
00:42:10,161 --> 00:42:11,562
A song.
176
00:42:14,232 --> 00:42:16,667
No! No!
177
00:42:16,768 --> 00:42:20,505
Not you... them! On the bus!
178
00:42:22,907 --> 00:42:28,413
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!Have you then? Ah!
179
00:42:28,513 --> 00:42:31,582
There they are a-standing in a row!
180
00:42:33,951 --> 00:42:36,387
Come on, join in.
What's the matter with you?
181
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:45,730
Toot Toot Tootsie goodbye!...
182
00:43:10,822 --> 00:43:16,694
Val-deri, Val-dera, Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
183
00:43:27,705 --> 00:43:32,910
When Irish eyes are smiling...
184
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:54,492
Ladies and gentlemen,
when the coach stops...
185
00:44:55,293 --> 00:45:00,298
would the gentlemen please follow Mr
Johnson and the ladies stay with me.
186
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,635
Here we are now, off we go.
187
00:45:04,735 --> 00:45:07,738
In for a jolly evening with Jolly Jimmy.
This way!
188
00:45:14,178 --> 00:45:16,214
Everybody comfortable?
189
00:45:20,585 --> 00:45:22,019
Come on, where are they?
190
00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:54,345
And that was a Magical Mystery Tour
191
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:56,280
I told you. Goodbye
15729
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