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1
00:00:10,442 --> 00:00:16,319
� Why must I be a teenager in love?
2
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,467
� Each time we have a quarrel
3
00:00:19,625 --> 00:00:22,504
� it almost breaks my heart
4
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:25,473
� 'Cause I'm so afraid
5
00:00:25,729 --> 00:00:28,206
� that we will have to part
6
00:00:28,594 --> 00:00:34,470
� Each night I ask the stars up above
7
00:00:34,471 --> 00:00:39,763
� Why must I be a teenager in love?
8
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,000
� Each time we have a quarrel
9
00:00:43,817 --> 00:00:46,288
� it almost breaks my heart
10
00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:49,035
� 'Cause I'm so afraid
11
00:00:49,710 --> 00:00:52,135
� that we will have to part
12
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,040
God in Heaven.
13
00:00:54,353 --> 00:00:56,155
Must be yonks
since he was a teenager.
14
00:00:56,605 --> 00:00:57,557
In or out of love.
15
00:00:58,606 --> 00:00:59,462
Yeah. Well. There you go.
16
00:01:00,315 --> 00:01:02,772
If he keeps this up,
he'll empty the place.
17
00:01:03,948 --> 00:01:06,151
-He can do what he likes, can't he?
-Oh?
18
00:01:06,838 --> 00:01:07,345
Can he?
19
00:01:08,619 --> 00:01:10,070
He is only the bloody owner, enn'e?
20
00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:13,170
I mean, it's his place, darling.
21
00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:16,114
� if you should say we're through
22
00:01:16,121 --> 00:01:19,306
� Well if you want to make me cry
23
00:01:19,884 --> 00:01:22,064
� that won't be so hard to do
24
00:01:22,788 --> 00:01:25,149
� If you should say goodbye
25
00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:28,335
� I'd still go on loving you
26
00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:34,713
� Each night I ask the stars up above
27
00:01:34,848 --> 00:01:40,712
� Why must I be a teenager in love?
28
00:01:40,812 --> 00:01:43,885
� I cried a tear
(1: DINSDAG)
29
00:01:44,005 --> 00:01:46,547
� for nobody but you
30
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:51,949
� I'll be a lonely one if you should say we're through
31
00:01:52,307 --> 00:01:58,812
� Well if you want to make me cry
that won't be so hard to do
32
00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:02,701
� and if you should say goodbye
I'll still go on...
33
00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:03,758
Loving you
34
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:08,072
On what?
-Sorry?
35
00:02:08,405 --> 00:02:09,277
Oh nothing, I...
36
00:02:10,568 --> 00:02:13,736
This is all a bit undignified, isn't it?
37
00:02:14,315 --> 00:02:17,165
I think I was thinking about something else,
38
00:02:17,239 --> 00:02:21,821
at least...
I hope I was thinking about thinking about something else.
39
00:02:23,575 --> 00:02:28,316
Well, Mr Feeld, I'm now going
to insert this soft tube into your rectum.
40
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,754
I'm now definitely thinking about something else,
41
00:02:30,805 --> 00:02:32,677
spare me the guided tour,
please.
42
00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:34,802
Oh, it's not too uncomfortable I assure you.
But...
43
00:02:34,816 --> 00:02:36,697
you'll feel as though you want to defecate,
44
00:02:36,963 --> 00:02:39,797
Needless to say, I'd be extremely grateful if you didn't.
45
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:44,585
God, no. I've been well and truly purged anyway,
and. Oops. Sorry.
46
00:02:45,004 --> 00:02:46,406
I don't mind coming out that end.
47
00:02:46,419 --> 00:02:49,974
But if you could resist the urge
to -um- OK?
48
00:02:58,763 --> 00:02:59,685
Here it goes.
49
00:03:03,854 --> 00:03:06,111
The liquid barium is going in.
50
00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:09,188
Comfortable?
All right?
51
00:03:10,296 --> 00:03:14,506
You'll be able to see what's going on in your intestines
by looking at that little monitor above...
52
00:03:15,715 --> 00:03:17,658
Not my sort of drama, doctor.
53
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,674
And I didn't play with frog spawn
when I was a kid either.
54
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,923
And on to your tommy.
55
00:03:35,473 --> 00:03:38,190
EACH TIME WE HAVE A QUARREL
56
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,988
IT ALMOST BREAKS MY HEART
57
00:03:41,161 --> 00:03:43,054
He can do what he likes,
can't he?
58
00:03:47,422 --> 00:03:49,467
Could you say that again,
please, sir?
59
00:03:49,653 --> 00:03:51,377
CLA RIJJIS.
60
00:03:51,671 --> 00:03:54,477
No, no. Her adress
here in the United Kingdom.
61
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:58,806
Her home here.
-What?
62
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,619
In England.
63
00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:02,041
Where does she live?
64
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:06,351
I said. I said.
CLA RIJJIS.
65
00:04:06,749 --> 00:04:10,861
Cla Rijjis. How do you...
66
00:04:11,611 --> 00:04:14,017
Oh, Claridge's? The hotel?
67
00:04:14,139 --> 00:04:17,952
I said. I said. CLA RIJJIS.
-Sorry sir. I'm sorry.
68
00:04:18,598 --> 00:04:21,101
And if I could just have your - um -
69
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,201
your mother's date of birth.
70
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:26,108
What? What.
What do you say?
71
00:04:26,115 --> 00:04:28,541
Her age sir. Please.
72
00:04:29,256 --> 00:04:30,537
How old is she?
73
00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:32,631
When was she born?
74
00:04:32,902 --> 00:04:35,175
???
75
00:04:35,657 --> 00:04:38,016
???
76
00:04:39,474 --> 00:04:42,824
61. She is 61.
77
00:04:42,924 --> 00:04:44,982
61? Oh, but...
78
00:04:45,082 --> 00:04:49,090
6-1. 6-1.
Sixty bloody one.
79
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,137
That was a great year for St Emilion,
80
00:04:51,144 --> 00:04:53,063
but I should be drunk now, OK?
81
00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:54,199
Who in charge here? Eh? Eh?
82
00:04:54,299 --> 00:04:56,912
Well Ben. That wasn't as bad
as my thoughts had made it to be.
83
00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:59,896
My dignity does not, after all,
reside in my bum-hole.
84
00:04:59,996 --> 00:05:02,759
Good. Good. But it took longer
than my thoughts, Daniel.
85
00:05:02,777 --> 00:05:05,257
And I think I'm going to be date for my late.
86
00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:09,961
It was the second bit I didn't like very much.
The barium was fine... well, ish...
87
00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:12,912
but then they go and pump air up your arse.
88
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:17,145
Air? What do you mean air?
- It's to extend the lower bowel or something.
89
00:05:18,954 --> 00:05:21,937
Christ, I thought I was going to float out of there
like the Graf Zepplin.
90
00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:25,126
Wish you had been able to float, Daniel.
91
00:05:25,144 --> 00:05:28,855
Why the heck don't you finally,
finally learn to drive?
92
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,610
Surely it'd make a sot of lense.
93
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:33,641
Now. Now. Your spoonerisms are showing, Ben!
94
00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:37,626
Look - if I can't call on you,
as my agent,
95
00:05:37,644 --> 00:05:41,042
for the occasional if demeaning bit
of comfort and chauffeuring.
96
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:45,037
then I'm pretty sure
that there are few other grand literary agents in this town
97
00:05:45,385 --> 00:05:49,670
who would be quite willing to oblige.
And without getting their words back to front!
98
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,262
Dan. Are you all right?
99
00:05:54,317 --> 00:05:56,535
How much did I earn last year, Ben?
100
00:05:56,553 --> 00:06:02,505
Hey now. What's all this. You know very well
I don't mind driving you to something like this
101
00:06:02,523 --> 00:06:06,317
but I mo have a deeting.
- No. Come on. How much? Last year?
102
00:06:06,808 --> 00:06:11,523
488.724,80 pond, bruto.
103
00:06:11,523 --> 00:06:14,178
Jesus Christ on a bike!
104
00:06:14,278 --> 00:06:16,353
And you know it
just like that.
105
00:06:16,371 --> 00:06:20,225
To the pearest nenny. Nearest p-penny.
106
00:06:20,495 --> 00:06:23,509
You know, I had no idea it would be as much as...
107
00:06:23,527 --> 00:06:28,003
When are they going to catch on,
those studios paying for drafts they never actually make... ?
108
00:06:29,498 --> 00:06:30,646
So... let's see...
109
00:06:30,927 --> 00:06:35,732
you yourself, Ben Baglin, you make forty-eight thou...
110
00:06:35,832 --> 00:06:41,094
No, nearly forty-nine thousand pounds in twelve months
from my scratchy old pen, eh?
111
00:06:41,113 --> 00:06:43,266
And then you kick up a fuss about...
-No, you look.
112
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:47,364
I mean, heavens... I mean, it's not as though
you haven't done it often enough before, now is it?
113
00:06:48,446 --> 00:06:51,907
I don't want to do it with him at all,
thank you very bleed'n much.
114
00:06:53,503 --> 00:06:55,181
But they are speaking my...
115
00:06:56,494 --> 00:06:59,762
It's not as though you got to
keep on doing wiv him, now is it?
116
00:06:59,772 --> 00:07:02,862
I don't wanna do it at all,
fanks very much.
117
00:07:02,962 --> 00:07:07,467
I mean, Christ... I mean,
it's not as though you ain't done it often enough before...
118
00:07:07,477 --> 00:07:10,423
What do you mean?
- Oh, come on Angel
119
00:07:10,441 --> 00:07:13,658
You have done more bleeding blokes than I had bleed'n...
120
00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:16,457
Daniel. Daniel what are you saying here? Come on.
121
00:07:16,557 --> 00:07:17,937
You're joking, right?
122
00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:20,578
They were speaking my lines.
- No, no, no.
123
00:07:20,605 --> 00:07:22,633
It's been happening to me all morning, Ben.
124
00:07:23,471 --> 00:07:29,166
This man burbling on the radio when I woke up...
OK, OK, it was in a different context, yes, all that...
125
00:07:30,193 --> 00:07:33,943
but suddenly he comes out
with an excact same sentence from my Karaoke script.
126
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,523
And then...
- But that is cure poincidence.
127
00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:38,697
And then when I was about
to have the barium enema,
128
00:07:38,715 --> 00:07:40,710
I distinctly heard
129
00:07:40,749 --> 00:07:43,541
the song that begins the whole story...
130
00:07:43,559 --> 00:07:46,927
you know, `Why must I be a...'
-What do you mean, heard?
131
00:07:46,945 --> 00:07:49,340
Like Joan of Arc,
do you mean...
132
00:07:49,358 --> 00:07:54,078
And then afterwards, the nurse,
she... or I thought she...
133
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,675
Oh, what's the point.
134
00:07:58,376 --> 00:08:03,939
All I know is... All I know is...
something very strange is...
135
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,166
You've just been feeling a bit low, Daniel.
136
00:08:10,184 --> 00:08:13,350
That stomach ache,
and... forgive me,
137
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,864
but I'll say it just once more,
I promise.
138
00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:18,822
Don't you think you're drinking
just a bit too much?
139
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,392
Drop me here, stop.
- Aw, Daniel, come on...
140
00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,277
No, no, it's just that... No.
141
00:08:25,295 --> 00:08:27,314
I've decided not to go
to the cutting room.
142
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:30,497
This bloody tummy-ache, it's...
143
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,579
No. If you put me down here,
144
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,918
I can beat that one-way system
and cut through to my flat.
145
00:08:36,936 --> 00:08:41,273
I need to lie down for a bit.
Or walk for a bit. Or something..
146
00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:55,668
You want me to call
the cutting room? Or anybody?
147
00:08:55,686 --> 00:08:58,370
I'm seeing flap, flap, rush, rush Anna
for dinner tonight, anyway.
148
00:08:58,388 --> 00:09:01,743
We are going to that brasserie
where they filmed the opening. Yuk.
149
00:09:01,761 --> 00:09:06,433
She'll talks about drink too.
150
00:09:06,451 --> 00:09:08,891
And to as little effect,
I promise you.
151
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:32,016
� Your cheatin' heart
152
00:09:32,034 --> 00:09:35,470
� Will make you weep
153
00:09:35,704 --> 00:09:39,567
� You'll cry and cry
154
00:09:39,585 --> 00:09:43,138
� And try to sleep...
155
00:09:43,156 --> 00:09:46,817
� But sleep won't come
156
00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:50,704
� The whole night through
157
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:54,546
� Your cheatin' heart
158
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:58,220
� Will tell on you
159
00:09:58,238 --> 00:10:01,970
� When tears come down
160
00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:04,748
� Like falling rain
161
00:10:05,718 --> 00:10:09,236
� You'll toss around
162
00:10:09,254 --> 00:10:13,311
� And call my name
163
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:16,814
� ... you'll walk the floor
164
00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:20,247
� The way I do
165
00:10:20,256 --> 00:10:24,683
� Your cheatin' heart
166
00:10:24,701 --> 00:10:27,125
� Will tell on you
167
00:10:30,117 --> 00:10:32,032
Oh. It's the fan.
168
00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:36,381
Of course.
169
00:10:38,714 --> 00:10:41,358
Sorry, Mr Morse...?
- What?
170
00:10:41,868 --> 00:10:44,444
Sorry, I thought you spoke...
- I ?
171
00:10:44,871 --> 00:10:46,709
No, no. My mistake.
172
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:49,603
Ah. I see. You think that I
talk to myself, do you?
173
00:10:49,621 --> 00:10:51,694
No Mr Morse. Of course not.
174
00:10:51,713 --> 00:10:53,397
Then why are you hovering?
175
00:10:55,431 --> 00:10:57,885
I just thought you wanted something...
176
00:10:57,903 --> 00:10:59,617
Oh, but I do.
177
00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:04,377
All old men want to call back yesterday.
178
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:11,543
But I don't imagine for one moment
that this establishment could offer up...
179
00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:13,806
Dear God.
180
00:11:31,627 --> 00:11:35,328
I mean... it's not as though you got to
keep on doing it wiv him, now is it?
181
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,067
Don't want to do it with him at all,
fanks bleed'n much.
182
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:42,533
I mean, Christ...it's not as though
you haven't done it often enough before.
183
00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:45,574
What do you mean?
- Oh. come on, Angel.
184
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:49,520
You've had more bonks wiv more blokes
than I've had bleed'n Weetabix.
185
00:11:49,538 --> 00:11:53,299
Now look
I've hardly ever never done it for the...
186
00:11:55,495 --> 00:11:56,724
No! Not for the money!
187
00:11:59,361 --> 00:12:02,052
I want a thousand down on
the table before I even...
188
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:07,061
You've got a bloody cheek, Peter. Sod off!
- Hey. Hey. Watch that lip
189
00:12:10,811 --> 00:12:14,148
No, no, no. I know what you... No.
190
00:12:14,184 --> 00:12:18,045
No. It's very clearly her
we want to see, Ian.
191
00:12:18,081 --> 00:12:20,180
Is it?
- I know it is.
192
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:21,089
Are you sure?
193
00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:24,778
I know it is. Full stop.
- Fine. Period.
194
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:27,361
I'm not saying I disagree, Nick
195
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,578
But I think Ian has something of a point when he...
- Who was that?
196
00:12:30,614 --> 00:12:33,426
On the phone.
- Oh, Ben Baglin.
197
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,490
`Back-to-front-Ben'.
Daniel Feeld's agent.
198
00:12:36,516 --> 00:12:39,575
Daniel Feeld. Words never back to front.
199
00:12:39,615 --> 00:12:44,791
In his scripts they are supposedly
in a perfect pre-ordained by Almighty God himself.
200
00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:46,894
Daniel Feeld. The precious bastard.
201
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:50,174
I.. It seems he can't come to the cutting room
until tomorrow. He is not very...
202
00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:53,478
Thank God for that. Perhaps we can get on a bit at last.
203
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,946
But he'll have his say, you know.
Especially about the music.
204
00:12:56,982 --> 00:13:04,404
Och now... he will! And his funny old agent
will tell you to take a junnig rump.
205
00:14:11,969 --> 00:14:20,942
EEC Counsel Directive
89 stroke 622.
206
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:25,826
You pig. You indulgent pig.
207
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,494
Obey the EEC! Obey!
208
00:14:46,404 --> 00:14:50,780
Aaaaaagh! The health Police!
209
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,579
I confess.
- Daniel.
210
00:14:57,650 --> 00:15:00,137
Good afternoon. Nigel here.
211
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:04,527
I've had the plates biked around me,
and I think I can safely tell you what's wrong with you.
212
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:08,043
Well. Join the queue, Doctor,
it's like a Harrods sale.
213
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:13,203
You are suffering from sigmoid spastic colon, Daniel.
214
00:15:13,257 --> 00:15:16,201
It's these spasms which gave you the pain.
215
00:15:16,255 --> 00:15:19,187
You can actually see what is going on
when you look at the plates.
216
00:15:19,232 --> 00:15:21,620
Anyway, I've got your prescription ready.
217
00:15:21,674 --> 00:15:25,778
I'll have it biked around to Ben's office
and someone there will file it and bring you the pills.
218
00:15:25,832 --> 00:15:29,666
They're called Spasmonal.
Stop the spasms. OK?
219
00:15:32,114 --> 00:15:33,395
And then let's see.
220
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:36,051
Spastic colon?
221
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,139
Is that what you're calling it? Sounds sweet.
222
00:15:39,184 --> 00:15:42,435
Or what is popularly known as IBS...
223
00:15:42,444 --> 00:15:44,310
Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
224
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:48,226
Use witchever diagnoses
impresses whomsoever the most.
225
00:15:48,235 --> 00:15:50,641
I'm sorry it's not a little more dramatic.
226
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:54,450
Well, I've known for a long time
that I've got an irritable head syndrome...
227
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:58,011
But is that all it is?
And what causes it?
228
00:15:58,137 --> 00:16:00,245
In a word, stress.
229
00:16:00,281 --> 00:16:02,897
Fucking nonsense. Stress. Me?
230
00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:06,143
I'm as gentle as the beat of an angel's wings.
231
00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:51,322
The words of the song come up
on the lower half of the screen, in English,
232
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,674
sandwiched by Japanese.
233
00:16:53,710 --> 00:17:00,648
At the same time, from the start,
a male voice is singing badly with an East End accent,
234
00:17:00,684 --> 00:17:06,685
the same words as they march
across the screen, darkening on cue...
235
00:17:08,747 --> 00:17:10,401
Slow dissolve.
236
00:17:11,344 --> 00:17:14,309
� I cried a tear
237
00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:17,039
� for nobody but you
238
00:17:17,075 --> 00:17:19,559
� I'll be a lonely one...
239
00:17:19,595 --> 00:17:22,393
� if you should say we're through
240
00:17:22,429 --> 00:17:25,838
� Well if you want to make me cry
241
00:17:25,874 --> 00:17:28,623
� that won't be so hard to do
242
00:17:28,659 --> 00:17:31,974
� and if you should say goodbye
243
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,871
� I'll still go on loving you
244
00:17:34,907 --> 00:17:41,013
� Each night I ask the stars up above
245
00:17:41,049 --> 00:17:46,950
� Why must I be a teenager in love?
246
00:17:46,986 --> 00:17:50,318
� I cried a tear
247
00:17:50,318 --> 00:17:52,689
� for nobody but you
248
00:17:52,725 --> 00:17:56,702
I'll be a lonely one if you should say...
249
00:17:56,738 --> 00:18:01,802
What? Oh yes. That song...
250
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,843
The song at the start of Karaoke.
251
00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:08,811
The baptismal bounce.
252
00:18:08,864 --> 00:18:11,971
Well... yes.
- What do you mean?
253
00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:15,758
Aren't you sure, Ms Producer?
- Sure?
254
00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:20,607
Hey, babe. What's that steak made off?
Asbestos. Cork. What?
255
00:18:20,617 --> 00:18:24,833
Maybe. Or my brain.
- Your what?
256
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,307
You live alone, don't you, Daniel?
257
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,800
No wife, no misstres.
258
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:39,850
The occasional sleazy and
all but commercial sneeze-like bonk,
259
00:18:39,860 --> 00:18:43,283
preferably with someone
who has more to lose than I have.
260
00:18:43,293 --> 00:18:46,492
No children. No commitments. No cleaner.
261
00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:52,596
And, please note,
and a capacity for minding my own business.
262
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:56,675
Well, that's all very nice.
- Except?
263
00:18:56,685 --> 00:18:59,242
Except it makes you forget
how to talk to people.
264
00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:01,648
And how to treat your colleagues.
265
00:19:01,748 --> 00:19:08,753
Or even how to be even halfway polite.
- But it was a crucial, comic opening song in my script, Anna...
266
00:19:08,763 --> 00:19:11,013
Where we first see that sleazy place,
267
00:19:11,023 --> 00:19:13,539
and Arthur Mallion bellowing the words so badly.
268
00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:19,401
`Pig' Mallion, the blackmailer, the real, foul-mouthed heavy.
269
00:19:20,141 --> 00:19:23,985
Why do they do it, restaurants?
270
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:25,872
Muzak, or whatever?
271
00:19:25,882 --> 00:19:29,613
To fill the empty and divert the bored.
272
00:19:29,623 --> 00:19:31,765
What else? Showbiz. Essence off.
273
00:19:31,775 --> 00:19:33,874
I usually manage to shut it out.
274
00:19:33,884 --> 00:19:39,162
I mean, if you let background music get to you,
you'd hardly ever be able to eat out at all.
275
00:19:39,172 --> 00:19:42,229
They even do it in funeral parlours nowadays.
276
00:19:42,239 --> 00:19:48,071
`On the Sunny Side of the Street' or... um...
`Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries'. Eh?
277
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:53,121
Each night I ask the stars up above,
278
00:19:54,232 --> 00:19:58,335
why must I be a teenager in love?
279
00:20:01,028 --> 00:20:05,143
Too on the nose.
- That's the point. Smack on the schnoz, my love.
280
00:20:05,153 --> 00:20:07,551
No, I mean to be really funny, or...
281
00:20:08,398 --> 00:20:11,843
And it just sort of lies there, that song.
282
00:20:11,943 --> 00:20:15,087
Nick isn't... well, you know what Nick's like...
283
00:20:15,187 --> 00:20:16,601
But he isn't happy with it.
284
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:18,532
Aaa, poor lickle ting!
285
00:20:18,632 --> 00:20:21,126
And he wants to change it.
- Well, he can't.
286
00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:23,913
And in any case he's alresdy shot it.
287
00:20:24,501 --> 00:20:27,361
It was on one of those bloody awful
casettes you sent me.
288
00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:30,329
He shot an alternative version.
- He what?
289
00:20:30,339 --> 00:20:32,658
He's... Daniel, it's not a bad choice as such...
290
00:20:32,758 --> 00:20:34,375
same sort of...
291
00:20:34,385 --> 00:20:37,523
He's used `Your Cheatin'Heart'.
The Hank Williams number. And it...
292
00:20:37,533 --> 00:20:39,019
Wait there.
293
00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:42,604
Don't move.
294
00:20:45,749 --> 00:20:47,541
... and that was what he said.
295
00:20:47,551 --> 00:20:50,276
God, I was in stitches!
- Hurry up.
296
00:20:50,286 --> 00:20:54,106
`Wot? Wot'? he said. `All bloody right then,' he said.
297
00:20:54,116 --> 00:20:57,206
What do you call a fish
that hasn't got an eye...
298
00:20:57,216 --> 00:20:58,682
Are you going to be long?
299
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,514
Oh, God, Annie... wait for it...
300
00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,480
I said are you...
301
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:06,238
It's a fish. Get it? A fish. No ``i'', see.
302
00:21:13,222 --> 00:21:17,547
Oh, shit.
- ...Listen to her.
303
00:21:45,422 --> 00:21:48,306
REALITY ... OR NOTHING
304
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:01,217
At last! Ben... what the... Ben, this is Daniel...
305
00:22:01,227 --> 00:22:04,228
What the hell are you doing, man?
- Doing? Doing?
306
00:22:04,238 --> 00:22:09,367
I'm up to my neck in scripts as usual,
what do you think I'm ducking fooing?
307
00:22:09,377 --> 00:22:12,624
Well, you certainly take half a decade to answer!
The point is this...
308
00:22:12,634 --> 00:22:16,922
that snotty, chinless bastard Nick Balmer
309
00:22:16,932 --> 00:22:19,772
has taken it in into his puffed-up
apology for a head
310
00:22:19,782 --> 00:22:22,594
to tamper with Karaoke, and I want you
311
00:22:22,604 --> 00:22:26,573
straight at once! Ben! I want you...
- Is everything all right madam?
312
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:30,019
Oh, yes. Splendid, thank you.
Dinner with a lunatic.
313
00:22:30,029 --> 00:22:32,846
It's part of the community care programme.
314
00:22:38,362 --> 00:22:41,871
Well, we'll soon have
that sorted out. I hope.
315
00:22:41,881 --> 00:22:45,174
Daniel. For Christ sake.
- Oh. You haven't finished eating, have you?
316
00:22:45,274 --> 00:22:50,371
Didn't you like it, or... Hey.
And your glass is empty! I'm sorry.
317
00:22:50,381 --> 00:22:54,560
Oh God. Haven't you had enough already?
- I knew you'd say that.
318
00:23:00,258 --> 00:23:05,457
I'm sorry. Look.
I'm not the sort of writer
319
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:12,307
who thinks that his words on the page
are some kind of holy writ in tablets of stone.
320
00:23:12,317 --> 00:23:17,313
No? Well then...
put down your chisel.
321
00:23:32,348 --> 00:23:36,527
This is... weird. Sort of creepy.
- How do you mean?
322
00:23:36,537 --> 00:23:38,807
Well, I felt a bit unsettled
eating here in the first place.
323
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:41,060
Your choice, fella.
324
00:23:41,070 --> 00:23:48,251
I mean, the place where you lot
filmed on that Sunday all those months ago.
325
00:23:48,351 --> 00:23:52,989
The self-same place. And here they are playing
the first song in the script.
326
00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:58,008
And it will be, Anna.
It will be!
327
00:24:00,457 --> 00:24:02,985
I don't like the song, of course,
328
00:24:03,085 --> 00:24:07,017
but I hate the other one...
and it doesn't have the same resona...
329
00:24:08,770 --> 00:24:11,709
What is the matter?
330
00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:18,095
Oh. It's the fan.
- Daniel.
331
00:24:18,105 --> 00:24:21,359
The fan... reflected on the top of the...
332
00:24:22,528 --> 00:24:28,210
For a moment I thought I was getting a message
from somewhere else... or...
333
00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:32,760
or... the way the...
on the surface of the...
334
00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:36,764
Daniel. Why are you repeating
your own lines?
335
00:24:36,774 --> 00:24:48,823
Am I? Yes. I...
Oh, this stomach. God in heaven.
336
00:24:49,785 --> 00:24:55,740
Speaking my own lines?
Well... isn't that rather the point?
337
00:24:55,750 --> 00:24:58,724
Isn't that what my script's about?
Karaoke!
338
00:24:58,734 --> 00:25:00,600
As a metaphor, I mean.
339
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:04,592
The music's written and performed by someone else
340
00:25:04,602 --> 00:25:08,503
and there's this pidding little space left
341
00:25:08,603 --> 00:25:11,992
for you to sing yourself,
but only to their lyrics,
342
00:25:12,002 --> 00:25:14,621
their timing, it's a feeling that...
343
00:25:15,853 --> 00:25:19,439
Dan. Are you all right?
344
00:25:20,066 --> 00:25:26,697
The fee...
The feeling that...
345
00:25:26,707 --> 00:25:34,474
what we hear... see... think that what is so...
say out of there. In front of us...
346
00:25:34,474 --> 00:25:41,147
the way we feel it's somehow or other
been arranged in advance by... by...
347
00:25:41,247 --> 00:25:46,057
Oh, I don't know how to call it...
- Paranoia?
348
00:25:54,060 --> 00:25:59,261
I've always longed to be
an artsy-fartsy arsehole, Anna,
349
00:25:59,271 --> 00:26:01,959
which is why I want to work for the Arts Council
350
00:26:02,059 --> 00:26:09,781
or that magazine, what is it?
Sight and Sound. I'd make a...
351
00:26:18,812 --> 00:26:20,432
It's straight out of it...
352
00:26:21,569 --> 00:26:23,494
it's the second page of my...
353
00:26:24,807 --> 00:26:26,188
What's happening here?
354
00:26:26,288 --> 00:26:29,147
Just... look, hang about a sec.
355
00:26:29,157 --> 00:26:31,782
If you just hold your bleed'n horses a minute.
356
00:26:31,882 --> 00:26:33,512
I don't...
357
00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:36,674
`If you just hold your bleed'n horses a minute...'
358
00:26:36,774 --> 00:26:40,595
What?
- Look... is this some sort of set-up...
359
00:26:40,695 --> 00:26:43,351
Are you lot trying out a joke on me,
or what?
360
00:26:43,361 --> 00:26:45,606
Daniel? What on earth are you on about?
361
00:26:45,616 --> 00:26:47,676
They are speaking my lines.
362
00:26:47,686 --> 00:26:49,969
Now look, Sandra!
- No! You look.
363
00:26:50,069 --> 00:26:53,663
I mean, it's not as though you haven't done it
often enough before, now is it?
364
00:26:53,763 --> 00:26:56,755
I don't want to do it with him at all,
thank you very bleed'n much.
365
00:26:56,855 --> 00:27:03,004
Christ, I mean... it's not as though you ain't done it
often enough before, honey.
366
00:27:03,014 --> 00:27:06,996
What do you mean?
- What I mean? Blimey. Wake up!
367
00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:11,929
You've had more blokes than I've had bleed'n...
- Weetabix.
368
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:15,029
I've never hardly ever never done it for the...
No! Not for money!
369
00:27:15,129 --> 00:27:18,363
What do you think I am?
370
00:27:18,463 --> 00:27:20,914
I'd want a thousand on the table before I even...
371
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:24,130
You've got a bloody cheek, Peter.
Sod off!
372
00:27:24,230 --> 00:27:27,373
Hey. Hey.
Watch that lip.
373
00:27:30,264 --> 00:27:32,183
I'm sorry, love... I...
374
00:27:33,572 --> 00:27:38,947
I thought for a minute there I thought that
those two... over there... you see?...
375
00:27:42,483 --> 00:27:44,286
They are too far away, aren't they?
376
00:27:44,790 --> 00:27:46,597
Can you hear what they're saying?
377
00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:48,301
Anna? Can you?
378
00:27:48,737 --> 00:27:50,956
Your speech is gettig slurred.
Do you know that?
379
00:27:50,966 --> 00:27:52,669
Anna! Can you hear what they're saying!
380
00:27:52,679 --> 00:27:55,935
Of course I can't. And why would I even want to,
for heaven's sakes?
381
00:27:56,874 --> 00:28:00,890
Daniel. Please.
Surely you've had enough.
382
00:28:02,173 --> 00:28:05,317
And it can't be doing
that stomach of yours much good.
383
00:28:05,327 --> 00:28:07,626
Haven't they told you that, the doctors?
384
00:28:07,636 --> 00:28:09,799
Why don't you look at me
when I am talking to you?
385
00:28:10,418 --> 00:28:13,497
What the hell's going on
in that pretty little head? Eh?
386
00:28:14,365 --> 00:28:16,659
That guy. Keeps staring at me.
387
00:28:16,759 --> 00:28:19,862
What. Him?
388
00:28:21,024 --> 00:28:22,404
He's nothing.
389
00:28:22,504 --> 00:28:24,909
And you should be used
to all that by now.
390
00:28:24,919 --> 00:28:28,721
You're something you are, Sandra.
Real special.
391
00:28:28,731 --> 00:28:31,743
No, all the time...
eyes sticking out of his head.
392
00:28:31,965 --> 00:28:35,722
So long as he's not
from your actual Customs and Excise...
393
00:28:36,526 --> 00:28:40,038
Nah. Nah. Looks to intelligent.
394
00:28:40,138 --> 00:28:44,312
You'd think I was in the bleed'n
Top Shop window or something.
395
00:28:44,322 --> 00:28:47,982
I've had enough of this!
- Hey! None of that!
396
00:28:49,340 --> 00:28:52,243
You dragged up
in a pigsty or what?
397
00:28:52,343 --> 00:28:54,678
I'll assume service is included?
398
00:28:54,778 --> 00:28:57,138
Oh, but... but...
Anna. That was my invite...
399
00:28:57,148 --> 00:29:00,262
You're not here, Daniel.
You're off on some other planet.
400
00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:03,105
The one you can only see
through the bottom of a bottle.
401
00:29:03,515 --> 00:29:06,582
Come on! Eh? Get yourself home
and sleep it off.
402
00:29:06,592 --> 00:29:09,765
You're due in the cutting room tomorrow,
and I'd like your head clear.
403
00:29:09,775 --> 00:29:11,804
Yeah. To assess the mess.
404
00:29:11,904 --> 00:29:12,549
What mess?
405
00:29:12,559 --> 00:29:13,666
Hah?
- No. What mess?
406
00:29:13,676 --> 00:29:15,625
Thank you ver' much. I hope you enjoy.
407
00:29:15,635 --> 00:29:17,604
Come again please.
408
00:29:19,228 --> 00:29:23,442
We all know what Nick's like... but I think he's done
a pretty good job on your script, Daniel.
409
00:29:23,452 --> 00:29:25,518
He's too arrogant! It's that twit-twit bray!
410
00:29:25,528 --> 00:29:27,626
That uppah uppah class thing,
411
00:29:27,627 --> 00:29:30,378
cousin-or-something of the Queen thing.
412
00:29:30,388 --> 00:29:33,912
A trenchful of blue shite.
- Must go, Daniel.
413
00:29:33,922 --> 00:29:36,895
It's my work, my sweat,
he's fucking up!
414
00:29:36,995 --> 00:29:40,350
I'm not going to be knocked down
by his bloody Rolls Royce!
415
00:29:40,450 --> 00:29:42,055
There's a long way to go yet.
416
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:44,932
Lots of things happen in the cutting room,
as you well know.
417
00:29:45,255 --> 00:29:47,100
You didn't bother
to come on location once,
418
00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:50,920
and you've only seen a few rushes on casette,
so why don't you wait and...
419
00:29:52,994 --> 00:29:55,076
And anyway you don't mean half of this.
420
00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:57,015
You 're drunk, Dan.
It's gibberish.
421
00:29:57,025 --> 00:29:59,380
It's more tiredness than the...
422
00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:03,855
And deep disappointment,
I'm sorry to say...
423
00:30:03,955 --> 00:30:06,609
deep, deep disapp...
424
00:30:06,619 --> 00:30:08,293
...Aeh... Hang on!
425
00:30:08,862 --> 00:30:12,448
Anna! Anna!
426
00:30:19,464 --> 00:30:21,555
Anna!
427
00:30:23,692 --> 00:30:27,594
That girl in my Karaoke...
God. She has such a horrible death, doesn't she?
428
00:30:27,604 --> 00:30:31,547
Will I see any of that in the cutting room tomorrow?
The killing?
429
00:30:31,557 --> 00:30:33,706
We're still on the first reel.
Of course not.
430
00:30:33,716 --> 00:30:36,592
The poor girl. It's such
a horrible way to die.
431
00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:41,538
Why can you never get
a taxi when it's raining?
432
00:30:41,548 --> 00:30:43,691
Oh, but you can if you've got an umbrella...
433
00:30:43,701 --> 00:30:46,791
Rucking fain, as Ben'd say...
434
00:30:46,801 --> 00:30:49,342
Half a mo'... didn't I have an umbrella?
435
00:30:49,442 --> 00:30:51,354
When `why must I be a teen...
436
00:30:51,454 --> 00:30:55,846
Oh, no. That was the old man
in my... um... my...
437
00:30:59,118 --> 00:31:00,689
Here's one!
438
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,281
Do you want a lift... ?
Daniel?
439
00:31:13,278 --> 00:31:15,339
No. Don't go!
440
00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:18,947
Anna! Wait! Wait... !
441
00:31:22,140 --> 00:31:25,603
Shall I stop?
- No, thank you. Not on your bloody life!
442
00:31:26,817 --> 00:31:29,634
And there is this guy... `Listen,' he says.
443
00:31:29,734 --> 00:31:32,474
`He's got one hell of a serious condition. Fatal!'
444
00:31:32,574 --> 00:31:37,840
And I am thinking, God, no,
do you mean Aids or the big C or...
445
00:31:37,850 --> 00:31:40,845
Worse, ' he said. `He's undercapitalized!'
446
00:31:54,903 --> 00:31:58,598
He should press his conk
up against a drug store window.
447
00:32:18,185 --> 00:32:24,577
`And then the groteskly patterned tie
comes over his head and around her throat.
448
00:32:25,147 --> 00:32:31,199
She thinks at first that it is some other kind of game
in the manner she had come to expect from him.
449
00:32:32,247 --> 00:32:35,296
But then the choking begins'
450
00:32:43,253 --> 00:32:46,695
My God. There's some bloody lunatics about,
Mr Balmer.
451
00:32:46,795 --> 00:32:49,831
You don't know how exactly right you are,
for once.
452
00:32:49,931 --> 00:32:53,585
Sorry?
- Well, it so happens that that particular lunatic was My Writer.
453
00:32:53,685 --> 00:32:57,481
I would have given you a bonus
if you'd flattened the cocky little bugger...
454
00:32:57,581 --> 00:33:01,418
And I've doubled it had you reversed back
over whatever was left of him!
455
00:33:01,428 --> 00:33:03,992
Squishy guts. A great sound.
456
00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:07,228
Sounds good to me.
Will I get another go at it, sir?
457
00:33:07,328 --> 00:33:08,864
I'll make sure you do, Tom.
458
00:33:13,331 --> 00:33:14,256
Come on.
459
00:33:14,899 --> 00:33:15,748
Come on.
460
00:33:16,894 --> 00:33:18,741
It's only a story.
461
00:33:22,203 --> 00:33:23,522
A... story.
462
00:33:38,415 --> 00:33:41,456
I know this is the second time
I've changed my mind...
463
00:33:41,477 --> 00:33:43,040
Don't matter a bit to me, miss.
464
00:33:43,058 --> 00:33:46,261
B'if you could wait here. I shouldn't be longer
than fifteen minutes at the most.
465
00:33:46,287 --> 00:33:49,464
As long as you like, love.
- And then take me to where I first said, Muswell Hill.
466
00:33:49,493 --> 00:33:52,612
Couldn't be better. That's my neck of the woods,
and then I'm done. - Okay.
467
00:34:08,145 --> 00:34:10,423
� When tears dum dee.
468
00:34:11,354 --> 00:34:13,516
� Like ralling fain.
469
00:34:14,838 --> 00:34:16,735
� You'll dum dee dum.
470
00:34:19,308 --> 00:34:21,404
� And tall my came... !
471
00:34:24,032 --> 00:34:25,672
No!
472
00:34:26,112 --> 00:34:29,602
He'll be very, very cross with me, my dear.
473
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,640
I shall be made to go to bed early.
474
00:34:32,989 --> 00:34:35,989
Oh, but I'm sure...
475
00:34:36,670 --> 00:34:39,350
Mother! No! What have I always said?
476
00:34:39,410 --> 00:34:40,825
Mother! How could...
477
00:34:41,816 --> 00:34:45,872
Anna! You really, really...
- She's a nice girl, Ben.
478
00:34:45,905 --> 00:34:49,555
Bo to ged!
- I'm going. I'm going.
479
00:34:50,627 --> 00:34:53,381
A nice girl. Nice, nice girl.
480
00:34:57,467 --> 00:35:02,394
That's what you should be
thinking of, Ben! Ben... !
481
00:35:07,260 --> 00:35:11,385
Oh dear. I...
- This is my leasure hour.
482
00:35:11,406 --> 00:35:14,775
My private time.
- Yes, I'm...
483
00:35:14,802 --> 00:35:23,574
Oh, God. I'm sorry to barge in on you like this,
but I've just been with your client Daniel Feeld, and I...
484
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:31,390
My, my nephew... what!
Ah! My youngest sister's youngest boy.
485
00:35:31,431 --> 00:35:34,997
She won't let him... so I... well...
during the day, you know...
486
00:35:35,023 --> 00:35:39,256
I'm out, after all... So I...
- But isn't it wonderful.
487
00:35:40,111 --> 00:35:42,013
Is it?
488
00:35:42,023 --> 00:35:47,351
The boy must be a genius, it's so...
489
00:35:48,545 --> 00:35:53,606
Really, Ben. This is something
I am very glad to have seen.
490
00:35:53,614 --> 00:35:57,324
I thought all these sort of things,
all those sort of skills had...
491
00:35:57,335 --> 00:36:00,769
gone with the wind!
- Well. Yes. I know what you...
492
00:36:02,797 --> 00:36:07,758
I must admit I'm sometimes tempted
to hend a land on it myself...
493
00:36:08,156 --> 00:36:13,533
Pardon?
- Lend a hand! Lend a hand!
494
00:36:13,552 --> 00:36:16,480
You know I have this pittle troblem know and then?
495
00:36:16,522 --> 00:36:19,284
Usually when agitated.
- I...
496
00:36:19,758 --> 00:36:26,909
Yes, Ben. But everyone thinks it's rather endearing,
if you'll forgive me saying so.
497
00:36:26,935 --> 00:36:33,650
I... and I'm truly sorry to have caused you any...
um... agitation by baring in like this...
498
00:36:33,805 --> 00:36:39,979
She's been fine up until about
eighteen months ago, my dear old Ma...
499
00:36:39,995 --> 00:36:44,366
Eighty-seven years old.
Been all around the world in all sorts of conditions,
500
00:36:44,431 --> 00:36:49,051
and never once been in hospital.
My Father was a colonel, y'see.
501
00:36:49,112 --> 00:36:53,493
Army. No... fit as a fiddle, old Ma.
502
00:36:53,613 --> 00:36:56,703
Didn't even go into hospital when I came along.
503
00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:59,740
I was born on the lack of a borry. Uh...
504
00:36:59,879 --> 00:37:05,278
But nowadays, I'm afraid,
the old head has sort of packed in a bit.
505
00:37:05,335 --> 00:37:08,740
Well, there you are, there you are.
506
00:37:09,231 --> 00:37:12,746
What did you want to see me about, Anna?
507
00:37:12,756 --> 00:37:15,495
Kucking Faraoke, I suppose.
508
00:37:33,482 --> 00:37:35,780
It was only drizzling when we came into that dump.
509
00:37:35,813 --> 00:37:37,608
Now look at it! Pissing down.
510
00:37:37,647 --> 00:37:40,014
You got a real nice way
of putting things, I'll give that.
511
00:37:40,054 --> 00:37:43,104
Up you.
- I mean, a bloke could take you anywhere.
512
00:37:43,136 --> 00:37:45,175
Well, my hair will get soacked.
513
00:37:45,184 --> 00:37:48,619
Moan, moan. Christ,
you've only got to walk a few yards.
514
00:37:48,675 --> 00:37:52,109
You haven't got enough up top
to worry about, haveya? Outside or in.
515
00:37:52,139 --> 00:37:53,666
Hey!
- Well it's right.
516
00:37:53,677 --> 00:37:56,540
Here. Have my bloody coat, willya!
517
00:37:56,580 --> 00:37:59,539
Put it over your head and shut up.
- Ta.
518
00:38:08,464 --> 00:38:12,346
... and I was just so worried.
He's obviously not very well,
519
00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:16,442
and there's going to be such a terrible blow-up
when he finally does come to the cutting room.
520
00:38:16,671 --> 00:38:18,374
I dread it.
521
00:38:18,405 --> 00:38:20,905
And I think it's going to threaten
the show, Ben. Really.
522
00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:24,523
Nick Balmer is not my client, thank God...
523
00:38:25,017 --> 00:38:27,876
but I've had previous dealings, my girl,
524
00:38:27,902 --> 00:38:31,586
and he can be a very, very pifficut derson.
525
00:38:31,596 --> 00:38:35,915
Dear old Dan, whom I dearly love,
in case you doubt it...
526
00:38:36,175 --> 00:38:39,265
well, he's only half of your problem, if that.
527
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,904
You'll have to be the boxing referee
528
00:38:41,915 --> 00:38:45,815
who gets a right hook from one
and an upper-cut from t'other.
529
00:38:45,872 --> 00:38:50,543
Be strong. And wear metal underwear, eh?
530
00:38:51,494 --> 00:38:58,091
The trouble is, I'm not in a very strong position
on this project, to be absolutely honest.
531
00:38:58,109 --> 00:39:02,628
Yes. I know that, my dear.
Very awkward for you.
532
00:39:02,645 --> 00:39:05,782
It's not easy to step up
from being a line producer...
533
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:10,116
You see, Nick has invested nearly three-quarters
of a million pounds of his own loot in the film.
534
00:39:10,158 --> 00:39:13,567
He owns the script...
- With certain contractual restraints.
535
00:39:13,577 --> 00:39:15,234
Of course. But what I'm saying is...
536
00:39:15,267 --> 00:39:18,719
What you're saying is
that Nick Balmer is appointed you
537
00:39:18,745 --> 00:39:21,530
and make damned sure
that in the last resort you...
538
00:39:21,548 --> 00:39:23,618
do... what... he... wants.
539
00:39:23,662 --> 00:39:25,971
He who fays the piddler.
- Oh,
540
00:39:28,179 --> 00:39:33,836
Yes.
You're dead right, of course.
541
00:39:34,484 --> 00:39:36,936
I may well have to resign...
542
00:39:37,036 --> 00:39:43,235
throw it all up.
Walk off into what won't be a sunset.
543
00:39:43,245 --> 00:39:48,418
No, no, no. Hang on in there.
Do what you can. Come on.
544
00:39:48,428 --> 00:39:50,924
You know this business
almost as well as I do.
545
00:39:50,924 --> 00:39:52,827
It's as tightly packed
as a bolf gall
546
00:39:52,860 --> 00:39:57,179
with idiots, charlatans,
strutting egoists, flundering bools!
547
00:39:57,217 --> 00:40:02,966
So. - So?
- So... you'll meet him? Yeah?
548
00:40:03,093 --> 00:40:06,141
At least meet him.
Wontcha!
549
00:40:06,973 --> 00:40:12,192
And it's a real nice hotel, love. Sandra!
- What?
550
00:40:12,209 --> 00:40:16,614
You're a bitch! A real bitch!
- But what do I get out of it? You tell me that?
551
00:40:16,637 --> 00:40:19,993
It's not what you get, Angel.
It's what you don't get!
552
00:40:19,992 --> 00:40:24,558
Whatchewmean?
- You don't get that clip round the ear'ole for a start, my girl.
553
00:40:24,795 --> 00:40:29,515
And you won't be needing no work off
of no plastic surgeon, willya?
554
00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:33,481
Got to save her, I've got to...
rewrite,
555
00:40:33,501 --> 00:40:38,722
or... or...
New lines!
556
00:41:06,223 --> 00:41:09,733
No. I've got my own reason for working here.
And it's a very special one.
557
00:41:09,775 --> 00:41:12,343
What is it then? Come on? What?
- Never you mind!
558
00:41:12,894 --> 00:41:16,532
I know what goes on in there.
God Almighty!
559
00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:19,628
You know damned well it's just
a posh sort of knocking-shop!
560
00:41:19,654 --> 00:41:22,968
Ha! That's what you think!
You got no bloody idea at all!
561
00:41:23,816 --> 00:41:25,248
Bastard.
562
00:41:25,484 --> 00:41:27,871
You shit!
563
00:41:46,179 --> 00:41:52,240
� How much is that doggie in the window? Arf, arf
564
00:41:52,266 --> 00:41:57,314
� The one with the waggly tail
565
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:03,027
� How much is that doggie in the window? Arf, arf
566
00:42:03,052 --> 00:42:05,503
� I do'hope that doggie's for sale
567
00:42:08,365 --> 00:42:13,317
� I must take a trip to California
568
00:42:13,977 --> 00:42:19,536
� And leave my poor sweetheart alone
569
00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:24,941
� If he has a dog he won't be lonely
570
00:42:25,025 --> 00:42:29,117
� And the doggie will have a good home
571
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:32,459
Happy ending!
572
00:42:32,536 --> 00:42:40,331
Happy ending! Must...
write... a happy ending!
573
00:42:40,593 --> 00:42:44,586
Got to help her!
Got to save her!
574
00:42:44,741 --> 00:42:47,760
� In the window? Arf, arf
575
00:42:47,825 --> 00:42:52,233
� I do'hope that doggie's for sale
576
00:42:53,426 --> 00:42:57,956
� How much is that doggie in the window?
577
00:42:57,970 --> 00:43:02,342
Well, hi! It's still raining then!
578
00:43:02,419 --> 00:43:07,440
How's about a nice dry champagne?
- Um. Well, OK. Yes.
579
00:43:07,547 --> 00:43:10,564
Would you like it brought over
to one of the alcoves over there?
580
00:43:10,575 --> 00:43:13,221
It's much more comfy and one of the young ladies...
- No.
581
00:43:13,252 --> 00:43:17,155
No? Oh, but you'll be so much...
- I'll just stand here, thanks.
582
00:43:17,434 --> 00:43:19,607
I'm not going to stay very long.
583
00:43:19,637 --> 00:43:24,309
I presume I'm allowed to do that.
And I'm very fond of dogs.
584
00:43:24,339 --> 00:43:27,759
You can do what you like.
That's the whole point darling.
585
00:43:28,007 --> 00:43:31,046
So, just relax, OK?
586
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:36,238
Thanks. I'll just crack my knuckles
in rythm, from time to time.
587
00:43:46,338 --> 00:43:49,790
They all somehow sort of look
the bloody same, don't they?
588
00:43:49,815 --> 00:43:53,326
Yeah. Scumbags.
- It's wet...
589
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,053
might not be many in,
that's the trouble.
590
00:43:57,052 --> 00:43:59,405
And he looks too pissed to try a poke.
591
00:44:09,431 --> 00:44:15,122
Hi! My name is Angie. I was looking at you...
- No.
592
00:44:18,181 --> 00:44:23,261
Hi, I'm Angie. I was looking at you
when you came in and I fought, he's...
593
00:44:23,334 --> 00:44:26,421
Who?
- Sorry?
594
00:44:26,861 --> 00:44:28,166
Who did you fight?
595
00:44:31,110 --> 00:44:34,544
What are you laughing at, then?
- I've used that line before.
596
00:44:35,083 --> 00:44:37,031
Pardon?
- But so have you...
597
00:44:37,069 --> 00:44:39,700
Look... I'm only trying to be...
- Go away.
598
00:44:40,433 --> 00:44:41,418
What... ?
599
00:44:41,454 --> 00:44:45,991
No. Please. I know you're only doing your...
600
00:44:46,029 --> 00:44:48,361
but... I've got this... this...
601
00:44:48,769 --> 00:44:52,124
Don't know whether my head's in my belly
or my belly's in my head.
602
00:44:52,149 --> 00:44:53,780
They're both a fucking mess.
603
00:44:53,809 --> 00:44:55,696
Christ.
604
00:44:56,234 --> 00:45:01,444
So if you'll leave me be.
605
00:45:01,474 --> 00:45:03,841
Oh, all right then. Cheers.
606
00:45:07,758 --> 00:45:11,392
Perhaps you'd rather have
a nice little chat with one of the others...
607
00:45:12,667 --> 00:45:16,282
No. I only came in...
608
00:45:21,264 --> 00:45:27,268
Lovely. Isn't she.
I... Yes. Yes she is. Very lovely.
609
00:45:28,510 --> 00:45:30,465
Even in that garb.
610
00:45:37,763 --> 00:45:41,170
... and with a face like a fucking bent fiddle!
611
00:45:41,196 --> 00:45:44,286
I'm sorry, Mr Mailion, but I just had this row
with my boyfriend as was and...
612
00:45:44,296 --> 00:45:49,780
I don't give a pint of horse piss
for your private life, my gal.
613
00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:51,903
This is where you get paid
614
00:45:51,921 --> 00:45:56,550
this is where you should bring
your pretty little arse on time
615
00:45:56,565 --> 00:45:58,546
and this is where
616
00:45:59,453 --> 00:46:07,239
you-should-crack-your-fucking-fizzog-
in-a-fucking-smile. Right?
617
00:46:08,267 --> 00:46:09,341
Right.
618
00:46:10,210 --> 00:46:12,158
Excuse me, Mr Mailion.
619
00:46:12,332 --> 00:46:14,818
But the gentleman down there
at the other end of the bar
620
00:46:15,005 --> 00:46:16,816
would like to have a drink with Sandra.
621
00:46:19,886 --> 00:46:21,943
What?
622
00:46:23,743 --> 00:46:26,610
Dom fucking Perignon, right?
623
00:46:45,779 --> 00:46:47,739
Such a horrible way to...
624
00:46:52,453 --> 00:46:55,812
Hi! I was looking at you when you came in
and I fought...
625
00:46:55,845 --> 00:46:59,288
You fought?
- Beg pardon?
626
00:46:59,321 --> 00:47:02,000
These lines keep cropping up.
The same lines...
627
00:47:02,007 --> 00:47:06,029
I mean... you'd...
like a drink? Please?
628
00:47:06,477 --> 00:47:09,831
Well, thanks very much... yeah!
... But, hey, why don't we have a bottle?
629
00:47:09,841 --> 00:47:12,696
Certainly.
- Dom Perignon.
630
00:47:12,717 --> 00:47:15,370
Ab-so-lutely. The best for the best.
631
00:47:20,383 --> 00:47:23,547
You where staring at me, weren't you?
In that caf� place.
632
00:47:23,612 --> 00:47:28,004
I... Yes.
- And you followed me in here, didn'tya?
633
00:47:28,061 --> 00:47:31,958
Yes. I did.
- What you want? What you playing at?
634
00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:34,782
Please. What is your name?
- Sandra.
635
00:47:36,123 --> 00:47:37,481
What's the matter?
636
00:47:38,979 --> 00:47:41,656
And the man you where with,
he was called Peter, wasn't he?
637
00:47:41,717 --> 00:47:45,608
Yeah. But what's that got to do with you?
You know him or what?
638
00:47:51,111 --> 00:47:55,853
I... I'm a writer.
I put words into people's mouths.
639
00:47:55,886 --> 00:48:02,047
And at the moment, I...
oh, God! My stomach!
640
00:48:03,479 --> 00:48:05,818
It's all coming true in front of me.
641
00:48:05,844 --> 00:48:10,705
So listen. I said I put words
into people's mouths. Well, I also...
642
00:48:10,747 --> 00:48:13,251
Are you getting any of this?
Can you understand at all?
643
00:48:13,268 --> 00:48:15,969
Hey! Steady on, Romeo.
- It's not just marks on a page.
644
00:48:15,987 --> 00:48:20,812
It's not just words in other people's mouths.
I make them do things.
645
00:48:20,853 --> 00:48:25,975
I even let them screw each other
or lie to each other or
646
00:48:26,020 --> 00:48:29,288
or or
or kill each other...
647
00:48:29,318 --> 00:48:32,750
Yes! Kill! Kill!
- Hey! Somebody! Quick!
648
00:48:32,775 --> 00:48:38,496
And you... it's you, Sandra!
They're going to kill you...
649
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,901
Somebody!
650
00:48:43,789 --> 00:48:49,243
Help, somebody! Help...
651
00:48:49,284 --> 00:48:51,670
'Ere! You can't do that in my place!
652
00:48:52,616 --> 00:48:58,320
Why must I be a teenager in love
653
00:49:08,343 --> 00:49:12,024
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