All language subtitles for Jeż Jerzy (2011)

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,475 - I need those samples, fast! - Yes, professor. 2 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,796 Reading sample. Analysis completed. 3 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,556 Project "idol"ready for implementation. 4 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,358 Genetic material needed. 5 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,557 Visualisation of the perfect donor in progress. 6 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,280 What the fuck? A hedgehog? 7 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:10,036 You heard what the computer said. We need to provide genetic material. 8 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,555 Where the hell am I supposed to find a hedgehog in this city? 9 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,230 George the Hedgehog 10 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,157 Is this the kind of law you need? 11 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:38,632 The young are allowed everything and the old nothing? 12 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,232 Hey you, what's in the bottle? 13 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,909 Hey kid! 14 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,795 No, no need for that, really, no. 15 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,072 That's the kind of youngster I support. 16 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,553 Luckily nobody got hurt. 17 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,913 Thank god that I was in the area. 18 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,790 Jeez, those people, what a day. 19 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,394 Professor, I have found a perfect donor. 20 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,551 - A hedgehog? - Yes. A hedgehog. 21 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,473 So what are you waiting for? Get him! 22 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,552 Tofu in 5 flavours, please! 23 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,874 One tofu for the gentleman. Oh sorry, I don't have change. 24 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:06,079 Please, follow me to the back. I have change there. 25 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,390 Woohoo! Boys! 26 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,472 I thought of you because I haven't had anything 27 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,791 - on my mouth for ages - Good eewening, madam. 28 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:14,915 Fuck me! 29 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,038 - With pleasure: call me Lilka. - Got some change? 30 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,432 Why? For that dough you can get much more, 31 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,878 Take me to the candy shop, let me lick your... 32 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,789 George? 33 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,799 Honey, what are you doing in such company? 34 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,393 What company? 35 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,553 - This 100, I was just about to... - Pardon me, the rate is 150. 36 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,678 The lady asked me if I could break a 100 and I can't... so fuck it. 37 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,673 You wanker, you're a pig, not a hedgehog! 38 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,752 Huh, how's things anyway? 39 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,948 I'm cruising around town with my girlfriends. 40 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,918 And that pansy of yours is probably the chauffeur, right? 41 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,514 He might be pansy but he's still my husband. 42 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,319 Kris is rocking at a concert while we speak. 43 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,796 Kriss Kross... huh, huh. 44 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,589 So? Coming or not? Unless you have something better to do? 45 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,910 What the hell, why not? 46 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,229 Girls! 47 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,391 Evening beautiful ladies, how are you doing? 48 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,313 Make some room, this guy can sting. 49 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,674 - Whose ride is this? - What do you mean? It's Michael's. 50 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,751 - Who's Michaels? - Michael, 51 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,435 - the mega-artist from the States. - You're standing on him right now. 52 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,439 No! 53 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,152 Stefan darling? 54 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:13,757 Did you have nightmares again? Would you like some cocoa? 55 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,229 How about a sandwich? 56 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,796 Not enough butter... old witch... 57 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,269 Marian! Check this out! 58 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,750 God! What a great sight! 59 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,277 - See you later girls! - See you G! 60 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,670 You're tickling, huh. 61 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,597 - Hello? Who"s this? - Me. 62 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,193 - Theresa? - What Theresa? 63 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,157 Oh, it"s you, assistant. 64 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,515 Have you collected the genetic material yet? 65 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,432 - No. Not yet. - So what are you waiting for? 66 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,635 Think of something! 67 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,918 I remember you always missed your deadlines as a student. 68 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,114 M ountains, lakes, the sea. 69 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,750 This country has everything it takes to be great 70 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,354 And I can't even afford a beer. 71 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,468 Fuck. 72 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,673 - Maybe it's because we don't have a canyon? - What? 73 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,628 A canyon, you know - a big hole in the ground. 74 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,712 The States have a great big hole and they are great aren't they? 75 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,110 It's not a matter of holes in the ground! 76 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,068 You know what is Poland's biggest problem? 77 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:08,197 Aliens, who drink our blood, steal the land of our fathers 78 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,511 - and disgrace our women. - You mean those aliens? 79 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,600 I have scratches all over me. 80 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,557 Aliens like him? 81 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,668 - Exactly. - What shall we do? 82 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,831 What do you think? Beat the shit out of the hedgehog 83 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,629 and then we'll shave the traitor of our race. 84 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,389 Hey, and why are we so shaven, actually? 85 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,630 Are you coming, you fuck? 86 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,152 White power, white power Can you feel it? 87 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,551 - Hey you, baldy! - What? 88 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,914 Ouch... 89 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,758 Thanks, I would have managed on my own. 90 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,150 I also manage on my own, 91 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,279 but it's better to do certain things together. 92 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,549 What? 93 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,797 What's going on here? 94 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,871 Please, stop immediately! 95 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,349 You're kissing my wife around the area of her lips. 96 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,033 Don't worry, Kris. 97 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,237 Don't tell when to worry and when not, woman! 98 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,518 I'm about to get really angry and you'll regret it, unfaithful. 99 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,715 How dare you? 100 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,111 This gentleman really saved me from these thugs! And you? What have you done? 101 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,953 - Really? - Mrs. Yola almost fainted 102 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,634 When she witnessed the violence that unfolded. 103 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,473 - I had to perform mouth-to-mouth. - What would you like to say about that? 104 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,153 I'm terribly sorry. 105 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,914 I don't know how to express my gratitude. 106 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,548 Chill out. Just sponsor a brew and we're even. 107 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,437 Cheers, Kriss Kross. 108 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,435 She had great boobs. 109 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,357 - Almost like my sister. - I've seen better. 110 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,192 Oh yeah? Where? 111 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,077 - Who the hell are you? - Can't you see? 112 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,719 He's a jedi. 113 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,872 What times do we live in, eh? 114 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,794 One cannot feel safe in his own country. 115 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,395 Gents, would you like to do something for Poland 116 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:45,351 and get rid of the hedgehog and at the same time make loads of money? 117 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,315 Fuck, what is this shithole? 118 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,278 Maybe it's a matter of lighting? 119 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:10,314 Whom have you brought me, assistant? 120 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,995 Professor, let me introduce: Stefan und Zenek. 121 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:22,711 Welcome to my temple, travelers craving knowledge. 122 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:29,360 Temple? I'm warning you, if this is some kind of mason shit... 123 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:36,318 Let's get inside, we'll explain everything there. 124 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,559 See? I told you it's a matter of lighting. 125 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,790 Impressive, right? 126 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,828 No, you don't have to answer. 127 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,675 The older I get the greedier for compliments I become. 128 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,558 Ok, old man, cut the crap 129 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,075 And tell us what to do with the hedgehog. 130 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,879 You seem ready for action, boys. 131 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,998 I used to teach at a university 132 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:09,836 My students were boys like you. 133 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,713 - Are you interested in biology? - No fuckin' way. 134 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,869 Exactly. 135 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,110 Wait a minute, that gentleman promised us money. 136 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:21,831 OK. There will be money but first You need to collect 137 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,911 a DNA sample of George the Hedgehog. 138 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,832 I won't spank the hedgehog's monkey! 139 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,639 All we need is some needles, some blood 140 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,837 and a smear from the inner side of his cheek. That's it. 141 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,629 Once you've collected it, You have to eliminate the hedgehog. 142 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,473 He'll get such an ass kicking that he'll be sorry to live. 143 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:43,236 I think we've misunderstood ourselves. You have to kill him. 144 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,358 - What do you mean, kill him? - Just like that, until he's dead. 145 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,988 It's just a hedgehog after all. 146 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,590 Beer, flowers, Beer, flowers, Beer, flowers, fuck. 147 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,911 Buying anything or you gonna keep on prayin' like this? 148 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,833 Just a sec. I'm wondering what gift to buy for my girlfriend. 149 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,389 With that money you can afford three roses and a brew. 150 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,835 And if she's less of a classy lady then buy one rose and a quarter of vodka. 151 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,152 Of course we want a brew. Two brew in fact. And one rose. 152 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,232 Thief! 153 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,671 Beat the skinheads! 154 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,398 Zenek! Now! Give him a nibble! 155 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:17,234 Are you guys out of your damn minds? I'll have to go to the vet now. 156 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,670 - I've got the blood. - And I've got the spikes. 157 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,678 We rocked. 158 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,512 Years of work. 159 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,240 Years of sacrifices. 160 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,194 At last! 161 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,995 People used to laugh at me and my research... 162 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,076 No, it wasn't easy but we managed. 163 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,878 He yelped like a dog. 164 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,794 At the end I gave him such a Glasgow kiss that all his needles fell off. 165 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,635 - Was there a lot of blood? - Like in a butcher's house. 166 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,712 And what have you done with the body? 167 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,352 It worked, gentlemen! 168 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:13,152 This is the most incredible experiment of my life! 169 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,198 Once I met aliens from outer space. 170 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,113 And for me, that was the most... 171 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,839 Daddy? 172 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,551 - How the fuck did he just get here? - The shit has hit the fan. 173 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,517 Stefan, do something. 174 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,833 "George calling" 175 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,749 Yola! Long time no see. How's things? When can we meet? 176 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,831 What will the opponent do? 177 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,117 In ten minutes outside the building, ok? 178 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,716 Kris, darling, I'm popping out! 179 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,030 What? Oh, yeah, yeah. 180 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,112 Ladies and gentlemen! Phenomenal move on the horse! 181 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,876 - Damn! Check mate. - I can see the coach running to him. 182 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:47,995 They are so happy! 183 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,799 They"ve waited for that for so many years. 184 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,151 This is not George, you idiots! It's a clone! 185 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,231 - Do you know what a clone is? - Aftershave. 186 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,676 Clone-my-ass. Looks like a hedgehog so it will get its ass kicked 187 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,910 - like a hedgehog. - It's a hen that lays golden eggs. 188 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,310 It's a metaphor, of course not like the ones at your 189 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,789 family's place in the countryside The hedgehog has a potential 190 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,555 - That you wouldn't even dream of, morons. - Oh yeah? I have potential too. 191 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,029 - Why don't you clone me? - Very funny. 192 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,636 We've collected lots of data. The calculations took months. 193 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,109 Finally, the computer produced: a hedgehog. 194 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,590 If he's so damn cool why did you tell us to whack him? 195 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,435 He had one key defect, we couldn't control him. 196 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,909 The clone is a different story. 197 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,433 The clone, if it's steered in the right direction 198 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,717 Can become the biggest money-making machine 199 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,997 Since Michael Jackson! 200 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,193 Zenek, please wipe Mr. Clone's nose. 201 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,875 - Years of work. Years of sacrifices. - Not now, professor. 202 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,112 First of all we need to think of a good strategy. 203 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,312 There goes your fucking hedgehog. 204 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,439 - Shall we move on to some sweet lovin'? - Maybe we can order something first? 205 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,673 - OK. Sweet dessert for a start? - Get me the Gondolier's cone, ok? 206 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,798 You're so high maintenance, girl. 207 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,678 Oh, got any dough, by the way? 208 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:11,878 Just kidding... 209 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,715 Wow, a fun park! 210 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,273 Jesus, what's wrong with you? Got hammered again? 211 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:44,436 Get off me! What are you doing? 212 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,996 Don't be embarrassing. 213 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,798 What an animal. 214 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,758 People are watching. 215 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,992 Yola, what's wrong? 216 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,230 What are you on about? 217 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,790 Where are you going? 218 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,752 Yola, wait up! 219 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,948 Stop, in the name of love! 220 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,156 - There he is! - What the hell? 221 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,995 Enough for now. Let's get back to the lab. 222 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,596 Come, son. Daddy will comfort you. 223 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,115 Damn junkies. 224 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,829 Who the hell was that dude? 225 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:46,077 Yoohoo! Hedgehog. Time to go home. 226 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,432 Damn clone. 227 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:57,958 Get out you creep, or else! Get out or it's going to hurt! 228 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,958 Damn you! You've crossed the line. 229 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,038 You just wait, damn it! I'll... 230 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,749 What? 231 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,756 Nice, they really did good on that one. 232 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,315 Got you, motherfucking cutie pie. 233 00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,993 You won't run away! 234 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,831 Stefan, look. 235 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,389 That's not good. If they find out that we didn't kill him 236 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,597 Then there's no way we'll get the money. 237 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:37,319 Ok, we beat the shit out of him and hide him in the bin. 238 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,828 Quick, turn around. 239 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,239 Stefan! 240 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,548 There you are? Got you! 241 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,632 What do we have here, Samantha? 242 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,270 Sir, the animal has no leach, no muzzle. 243 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,351 That's a penalty ticket. 244 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,238 I'm terribly sorry. 245 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:18,349 Next time, I won't let them run around without a muzzle. 246 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,753 Hold it! 247 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,759 I see a fool with a devil riding on a chariot... 248 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,592 Into the car, move it! 249 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,275 Really, they are more stupid than I thought. 250 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:01,756 Ifyour life falls apart, call your politician for a new start 251 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,318 What would you have done without me? 252 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,234 I guess they kicked your head pretty hard. 253 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,911 I'll take you home. 254 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,873 Again?! 255 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,472 Don't ever call me again. 256 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,108 My son has mastered multiplication! 257 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,870 Ergh, well done Professor. 258 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,508 Multiplication-my-ass, you've fucked it up! 259 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,194 - The hedgehog has survived! - Dude, take it easy. 260 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,954 - We couldn't find his pulse, honestly. - Silence! 261 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,078 From now on you're doing everything my way, understood? 262 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,958 Or else get the fuck out! Is that clear? 263 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,792 - Yes sir! - Is that clear? 264 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,188 Yes sir! 265 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,190 Honey, we have a visitor - your hero. 266 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,510 - Good day madam. - The gentleman that saved you. 267 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,272 Get this creep out, Kris. 268 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:18,228 - But we haven't finished the game yet. - Be a man for once! 269 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:22,757 I want this hedgehog out of my house! 270 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,308 - I guess it's time for you. - Yola! 271 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,916 Oh, you know how it is, When she has THOSE days 272 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,516 It's impossible to speak human to a human. 273 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,110 Out! 274 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,840 Yola, I mean Mrs. Yola, what's wrong with you? 275 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,592 You should come later. 276 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:44,389 We'll play a game of chess, talk, have a laugh. 277 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,349 See, I kicked him out, woman. 278 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,589 - And now, gimme a sucky sucky. - What am I supposed to do?! 279 00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:00,355 Cup of tea. Cup of tea, please. 280 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,915 The European hedgehog hunts at night 281 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,390 and loves all sorts of snails and rotten fruits. 282 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,109 Among the rattling forest leaves a handsome female appears. 283 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,271 The hedgehogs then run around 284 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,910 for several hours until they reach an orgasm. 285 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,151 There you go! 286 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,750 Y ep, it's all over now. 287 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,270 And then I told her... you know. 288 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,475 You will never walk alone! 289 00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,349 Poland will be the champion of Poland! 290 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,716 Yola calling 291 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:17,873 Hello? 292 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,758 What"s up George? 293 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,077 I mean, how's things? 294 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,711 I'm more interested in how things are with you, Yola. 295 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,879 Yola? Yola, I'm here! 296 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,914 Yeah, we have to meet, you know. 297 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:41,039 - And sort everything out. - I have nothing to sort out. 298 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,031 I"ll explain everything when we meet. 299 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,272 How about tonight under the Poniatowski bridge? 300 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,271 Where? Under the bridge? 301 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,713 Yeah, I have to be... careful. 302 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:58,308 - My husband, Karl, got so suspicious. - Karl? You mean Kris? 303 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,994 Yeah, sure. Did I say Karl? 304 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,238 So? Will you come or not? Please! 305 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:13,838 Please, please. OK. I'll be there. 306 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,872 Mission completed. 307 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:27,713 I dig your toys. 308 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:09,629 Yola? 309 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,715 Served on a golden platter. 310 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,950 We'll crush you! 311 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:20,919 Freedom!! 312 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:00,835 Fucking hell. 313 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,399 Give it here. 314 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:25,796 Why do I have to do everything on my own? 315 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,315 Throw him into the river. 316 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,276 What are you waiting for? Help me. Go on. 317 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,918 Stefan, can hedgehogs swim? 318 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,716 Camera stop! Cut! Wipe the vomit. Second take. 319 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:33,435 He "s strong, intelli..., ehm, very strong. 320 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,518 And funny. 321 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,237 And his name is: Gheorghe the HeedgehAg, Fak it! 322 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:45,678 George the Hedgehog - the new hero of the youth. 323 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,476 Visit our website and buy a t-shirt. 324 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,354 Perfect! 325 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,751 Our creation was seen by half a million internet users already! 326 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:03,470 Nobel Prize, at last! 327 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:08,839 Soon, thanks to that clone, we'll make millions. 328 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,675 You mean that cologne that has just left? 329 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:26,958 - Where is he? - One second. 330 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,237 Where would I go if I was him? 331 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,159 SEX SHOP 332 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,113 The suspect was caught in a rapid police action. 333 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,511 The level of damages caused By the criminal is as yet unknown. 334 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,796 The estimated numbers point to hundreds of thousands. 335 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,430 We got access to important CCTV recordings. 336 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,752 These are drastic images only for mature viewers. 337 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,873 And I played chess with him! 338 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:53,158 I hope they will teach him in jail How to behave in the civilized world. 339 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,710 It was a black day for the pink business. 340 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,717 And the whole plan got fucked. 341 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,917 - Shut up you idiot. - Yes? - Not everything is lost yet. 342 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,469 I got a year of probation for less serious shit. 343 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,949 Years of work. Years of sacrifices. 344 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,795 - So we won't be millionaires? - Let me think, damn it! 345 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:25,992 Ifyour life falls apart, call your politician for a new start 346 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,277 - Congressman, someone to see you. - Come in. 347 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,515 Good day, sir. I have a delicate matter to discuss. 348 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,079 Start talking. 349 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:41,958 I represent the world-reknown international company 350 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,839 Media Politics Creative Consulting Strategy President. 351 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,956 Me too, punk. 352 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,190 Mind saying that in English? 353 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,555 Our company is carefully observing 354 00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:53,790 the most promising politicians on the globe. 355 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:55,871 Among them, we've been watching you. 356 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,679 You're suggesting that I'm promising most to people? 357 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,956 Who said that? You got that on record? 358 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,793 I meant the most hopeful politicians. Simply: the best ones. 359 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:08,351 We think you have a chance of becoming a president. 360 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:09,589 Me? 361 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:14,275 Exactly, your support among The voters over 59 is impressing. 362 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:20,356 But we both know that everything Nowadays depends on young people. 363 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,279 We know how to win over the youth. 364 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:28,393 Richie, stop the recording! 365 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,514 I checked this morning, two million people have already seen this video. 366 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,912 You mean I should get this creep out of jail 367 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,629 and then it would support me and its popularity 368 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,519 would provide me voters? 369 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:04,229 You get it out and then go straight to the White House! 370 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,793 I guess that creep is an OK bloke. 371 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:13,669 All he wanted was to shag some rubber dolls. 372 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:15,555 So... 373 00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:19,030 Oh, pardon me Do we have a deal? 374 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,232 That won't be easy. 375 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:27,190 I'll have to use my contacts. 376 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,988 But keep your chin up, I'll deal with it. 377 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:39,755 But if you screw me over I'll shove your head up your ass. 378 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,240 So where are we standing? 379 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,479 One more time. 380 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,473 You're funny. 381 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,638 If anybody would like to bone you. Tell them you're Roman's bitch. 382 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,588 - And then they won't bone me? - They'll still bone you. 383 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:25,435 But at least you'll get a smoke afterwards. 384 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:26,919 Fak it! 385 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:34,039 I'm a great fan of his and I think a great career awaits him. 386 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,636 He's just, wow, hedge-hogging awesome! 387 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,872 If you think of the rubber dolls that exploded after encountering 388 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:46,318 the hard needle of the hedgehog, this was de facto a metaphor 389 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,471 Of our expectations and existential hopes 390 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,278 Confronted with the hard crust of reality. 391 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,715 It's nothing else than a sign of rebellion. 392 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,839 The hedgehog has shown what a social frustration could lead to. 393 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,231 George, to many people out there, outside the prison walls 394 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:01,719 You are already a hero. 395 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,793 Do you think that justice will prevail and you will be set free? 396 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,150 - It was an act of art! - Yes. 397 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,709 Uncompromised, great act of art! 398 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:13,869 Of course. 399 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,191 I would even call it an artistic happening. 400 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,351 It was damn brave. 401 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,991 Meanwhile, in this provincial country an artist is treated as criminal. 402 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,391 And we'll end the show with this heated debate. 403 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,551 Please, watch us next week. 404 00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,995 Coming up, a commercial break and then the weather. 405 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,151 So? Speechless, eh? 406 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:39,678 That's how PR is done, hell yeah. Your creep will be set free soon. 407 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,068 Be ready. 408 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,592 Nobody's around. We can pull it out. 409 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,113 Uh, heavy. 410 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,710 It must be an octopus. 411 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:03,589 What's that? 412 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,919 I think it's that hedgehog. 413 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:11,599 A lot of hedgehog equals a lot of five-spice pork. 414 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,838 Yoo hoo! Sweethearts! 415 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,958 Would you like some...? What are you hiding there? 416 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,715 No, no, have nothing. Goodnight, madam. 417 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,348 - We want no blowjob. - Hey, but that's... 418 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:36,115 I know that hedgehog! Know this hedgehog? 419 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,555 What have you done with it? We save. He drown. 420 00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:43,396 - Damn it! They're totally nuts. - Breeding hedgehogs! 421 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:47,872 We bred them at university but only for scientific research. 422 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,999 Which proves that the biology department Brought shame to the school. 423 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,673 Hey, sweethearts 424 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,515 I don't know what this is all about, but you are really cute. 425 00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,593 - How can I ever repay you. - No, no. We want no blowjob. 426 00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,876 You take hedgehog. 427 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,878 His history has moved everybody. 428 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,429 He went from zero to hero within a moment. 429 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,955 As a criminal he went to jail. Now, cleared of charges, 430 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,556 he exits in glory and fame to enjoy the deserved freedom. 431 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:04,232 Twinkle twinke my hegdehog 432 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,438 You"re a real celebrity 433 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,029 Now you"re sleeping in my bed 434 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:18,078 You"ve found your safe harbor 435 00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:20,435 Now you"re only mine 436 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,068 I won "t let anybody hurt you 437 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,800 Cos " I lov... 438 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:29,837 Lilka, you idiot, so many years on the job 439 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,150 hasn't taught you anything. 440 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,634 I"m fuckin"great, eh? I"m fuckin"great, eh? 441 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:52,312 Isn"t he great? The spikes, the charm. 442 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:58,435 I can hear the sound of coins In my pocket. 443 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,593 You"ve rejected a genius! 444 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,274 Now, l"m moving mountains. 445 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:13,110 When I look at my child l"m so very proud. 446 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,757 I hear praises for the clone 447 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:20,196 "Your work brings us joy" 448 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,591 I can hear the Nobel Prize coming 449 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,513 Better late than never! 450 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,956 Even ifyou"re famous And a wallet full of money 451 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:34,511 And hold Grammies, Emmies, MTV A wards And all the other awards 452 00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:39,356 No, don "t call me 453 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,190 Not yet. 454 00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,919 I"m fuckin "great, eh? 455 00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,035 Don "t call me 456 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,440 Fuck this shit! 457 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,751 I guess I love you. 458 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:21,714 I love you. 459 00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:36,073 Remember Aga? 460 00:48:36,240 --> 00:48:38,879 The one that only used to date ginger guys? 461 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,873 Imagine that: she married a blond guy! 462 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,190 Nicolas, cool guy. 463 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:45,914 Remember Michael? 464 00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,992 Imagine that: he's giving a big show tonight. 465 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,196 And you won't believe who else will perform! 466 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,591 That hedgehog of yours! Awesome, right? 467 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:56,109 George... 468 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,908 "Viva the Most Famous!" 469 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:37,389 He's great. 470 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,994 I have to say, I haven't seen anything better 471 00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,355 Than that since the Viennese actionists. 472 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,830 Only America could have produced such genius. 473 00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,670 It's obvious that an event of that scale 474 00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,229 Could not happen without the presence of George the Hedgehog. 475 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:55,393 And mine, his manager. I've created him after all. 476 00:49:56,480 --> 00:50:00,359 Hello, I'm Michael's friend. My name is Yola. 477 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,431 Check the guest list. 478 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,995 Hey, George! George! 479 00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,716 Leave him alone. 480 00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:18,630 Get lost, ok? George, wait up! 481 00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,518 I told you to leave it. 482 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:22,679 Let go of me! Ouch! 483 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,992 - He doesn't want to see you anymore, got it? - What? 484 00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:31,597 Don't let her in again. Our star has got bored with her. 485 00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:41,597 - You could have chosen my sand castle. - Want a Sex On The Beach? 486 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:45,355 What the fuck have you done to yourself? Let's get out of here. 487 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,717 - But I like it here. - What? This place reeks with shit! 488 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,110 At least nobody beats me. 489 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:55,717 - I am respected. - You're pathetic. Out, out, raus! 490 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:15,674 We've just seen an amazing monodrama "Manhattan, 8AM" 491 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:19,071 by our great guest from America, Michael, 492 00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:22,471 Who apparently has a Polish root. 493 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,430 Fuck! What is this shit? 494 00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:29,431 - What did you get me into? - No, no, no. 495 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:34,435 Don't confuse rotten US entertainment with the healthy Polish fun. 496 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:43,508 He's good. 497 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,396 - It's just the beginning. - Sure thing! 498 00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:50,951 It's about time for the creep to state clearly who would be 499 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,998 the best leader of the nation. 500 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,756 I got you a big gig at the National Stadium. 501 00:51:59,920 --> 00:52:02,354 It will be broadcast live on TV. 502 00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:05,478 I'll send you the exact script tomorrow. 503 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,154 But if anything goes wrong... 504 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,116 - I know, my head up my ass. - Exactly. 505 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,440 What's happened darling? 506 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:26,715 Nothing. 507 00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,869 - Your husband left you? - No, the other one. He threw me out. 508 00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,393 From home? 509 00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:34,870 No. From the club. 510 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:41,112 - He didn't even want to speak to me. - What? George? 511 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,028 George! 512 00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,477 I don't really get what's going on here. 513 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:02,756 - Were you at some club tonight? - Are you crazy? 514 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,434 I can hardly move. 515 00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:17,439 - Jesus Lilka, are you high or what? - Looks familiar? 516 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:22,310 - Lilka? - And this? Looks familiar? 517 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,835 Lilka, stop it. Help! 518 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,191 Let go of me! Help! Rape! 519 00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,750 What the hell is this? Can you explain all this to me? 520 00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,558 Fuck me! 521 00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:53,592 What a piece of crap! What have they done with me? 522 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:55,275 George! 523 00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:12,398 George, sometimes we're standing on the edge. 524 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,753 But we have to face the abyss. 525 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,878 Sometimes looking into the mirror, lnside the reality 526 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:23,318 is like casting a glance inside the mirror... 527 00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:30,550 I found that a few days ago by the river. 528 00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:35,193 I thought it could be something important to you. 529 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,912 Lilka, I have never said this 530 00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,548 to anybody in my life before: Thank you. 531 00:54:42,720 --> 00:54:45,917 You're a whore with a golden heart. 532 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,556 ELECTlON ANNOUNCEMENT 533 00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,274 Hey, why are you so uncool? 534 00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:12,954 I'm sad because nobody invited me to an awesome party. 535 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:17,477 "lf your life falls apart, call your politician for a new start" 536 00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:18,834 Fak it! 537 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,468 Me and my homie invite you to 538 00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:25,633 a far out rave at the National Stadium! 539 00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,469 Everybody! Choose... 540 00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,632 To go to the National Stadium on Saturday. 541 00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:35,037 This airtime was paid for by the election committees. 542 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,349 I thought you were not my problem anymore. 543 00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,193 I came to visit a friend. 544 00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,271 Anyway, it's time to talk about splitting the dough. 545 00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,476 You'll get the money after the concert. 546 00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,279 - At least give me a fucking advance. - Don't be greedy! 547 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,750 I got you a monthly travel card, haven't l? 548 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,719 Can I have an autograph? 549 00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:50,077 Wow! Awesome. Fak it! 550 00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:51,879 He's the best. 551 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:55,715 - All the 3rd graders love you! - Scram! Go home! 552 00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,997 He's even better live than on TV. 553 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:10,751 What's up, fak it?! Cock! Fuck! 554 00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,434 Let the artist in! 555 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:21,474 And now, for your pleasure: George the Hedgehog! 556 00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,112 Fuck, how am I supposed to get there now? 557 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:22,070 Ladies and gentlemen, let your idol rest a bit. 558 00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:26,635 Fuck. 559 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:32,348 Zenek, what did we get from all of this? I'm asking you? 560 00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:37,275 What is all this cash good for If we can't do what we really love? 561 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,079 Yeah, it was different with our hedgehog. 562 00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:44,279 We didn't have to ask anybody for permission o kick the shit out of him. 563 00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,829 - Those were the days. - Yes, congressman, 564 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,151 - now it's the time. - Now he'll support me? Good! 565 00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,675 Ladies and gentlemen, George the Hedgehog 566 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:54,512 will be right back 567 00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:59,390 and he'll have something important to tell you. 568 00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:01,711 He's here! He's here. 569 00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:15,958 Howdee, homie! Yo, homie? 570 00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:20,238 Far out! Funky! 571 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,630 I dig your work, dude. 572 00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:28,678 Yo! Fak it! 573 01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:01,992 That was fun but there are also important things 574 01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,993 such as POLAND and the best person to take care of it is... 575 01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:10,437 He got stuck. Quick, get the syringe. 576 01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:23,877 What the fuck is this? 577 01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:27,077 They didn't say they had more of these! 578 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,796 It"s a pretty stinky situation. 579 01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:38,398 You had me at hello! So that"s what"s going on! 580 01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:44,789 Dude, there's only place for one Hedgehog in this town! 581 01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,872 You think it's me? 582 01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,032 This is supposed to be me? 583 01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:53,668 Listen, it's bullshit! It's not me! 584 01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,957 Come, son. Daddy will comfort you. 585 01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,552 Look Zenek, hedgehogs can swim after all! 586 01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,597 Get him! Right now! 587 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,320 Get the hedgehog off him you dumb fucks! 588 01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:16,629 Easy. 589 01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,598 Idiots! It's the wrong hedgehog! 590 01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:51,314 Fak it! 591 01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:14,837 Zenek, we're leaving! 592 01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,475 Think, think, think, think. 593 01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:24,833 Watch out George! 594 01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,309 Yola! Get out from here! 595 01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,158 Congressman! Hello! 596 01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:11,118 - I don't have time right now. - Do something! 597 01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:16,308 - But they will kill each other! - Send an email to my office. 598 01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:59,232 "Take matters into your own hands!" 599 01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:30,835 Daddy! 600 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,438 Yes, son? 601 01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:38,756 Years of work. Years of sacrifices. 602 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,556 And this is what I get. 603 01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:43,759 Let go of me! 604 01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:45,956 I have to get in there. 605 01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:48,272 George is there! 606 01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:53,430 What? You don't like me? 607 01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:55,636 Let her go! 608 01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:07,193 I can't see! 609 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:35,033 Yola, jump! 610 01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:46,470 Disappointed that your boyfriend is not an idol? 611 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:51,953 Pull me up and I'll make you a star. I'll give you so much dough... 612 01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:58,432 - What the hell, Yola? - Thank you darling! 613 01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:03,276 - What are you doing, Yola? - You knew what's good for you. 614 01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:14,118 Damn girl, you know how to build up tension. 615 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,191 - But you know that... - I know. 616 01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:18,828 You'd have managed on your own. 617 01:07:19,960 --> 01:07:22,599 What's the PHD for, they asked? 618 01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:25,752 Unnoticed, unappreciated, badly paid 619 01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,036 My god, it's just like us. 620 01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:32,193 ...Forced to teach a band of morons, 621 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,189 Who instead of mastering the beauty of M-xylen... 622 01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:38,909 I've exposed you so cut the bullshit grandpa. 623 01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:41,196 Better tell me where that smart ass from 624 01:07:41,360 --> 01:07:45,239 Media Politics Fucking President Consulting is. 625 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:55,155 Now you will be kissing my feet. 626 01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:08,399 Son, it has finally happened 627 01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:11,120 You've reached maturity 628 01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:15,512 Go and enjoy every beautiful moment of life. 629 01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:31,958 Fak it. 630 01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:44,917 One question - were we ever supposed to meet under that bridge? 631 01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:46,957 Under the bridge? 632 01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:48,792 That's a funny idea. 633 01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:52,236 It's good that everything came back to normal. 634 01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:54,436 So, nothing has changed between us? 635 01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:59,469 Yeah, unless you'd like to move in with me. 636 01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:03,679 - I can give you the keys. - What?! Into that shithole? 637 01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:04,670 Come on. 638 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:08,879 Well, you know I can't just leave my husband. 639 01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,712 I'm catholic after all. 640 01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:16,796 - So? Everything like in the old times? - No, it will be much better 641 01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:19,713 You just have to be careful when... 642 01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:22,155 - I'm not sure I can reach that. - Congratulations! 643 01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:25,756 I knew right away that you - the real hedgehog 644 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:29,117 - were on the right side. - Hey, not the nose. 645 01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:34,355 "lt wasn't me!" "Super Truth" 646 01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:38,711 Surprise! 647 01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,235 - Thanks George! - What for? 648 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,631 I became famous. 649 01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:48,429 Thanks to you the celebrities of this world have noticed me. 650 01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:51,751 I'm playing in a different league now. 651 01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,798 - Lilka, honey, hop in. - Oh, hi Tiger. 652 01:09:55,480 --> 01:09:58,631 Stefan, the dinner's on the table. 653 01:10:01,480 --> 01:10:05,678 Surprise! Look who came to visit us! 654 01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:11,831 Please, give Michael a hug. Go on, you're brothers after all. 655 01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:17,835 Nice bling-bling. You stole it? 656 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,151 Stefan, Michael made a fortune in the States! 657 01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:24,471 There you go. And everybody was mad at me when 658 01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:28,155 I told him to get the fuck out of this house. 659 01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:34,718 Look, Michael is a Hollywood star! 660 01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:40,549 What great sons I have! 661 01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:45,550 Good afternoon. Can Stefan come out and play? 662 01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:48,509 Zenek! 663 01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,752 Wait up, it's not what you think. 664 01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,478 Zenek, let me explain that. 665 01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:05,031 It's not that simple. 666 01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:09,758 Mother used to work in tourism 667 01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:12,150 and she went to Africa once. 668 01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:14,955 It was all cool until some tribe recognized 669 01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,839 A Mzimu in her, or something. 670 01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:19,797 The blacks massacred the whole group 671 01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:22,679 And they kidnapped and tortured my mother. 672 01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:25,479 She managed to run away and get back to Poland. 673 01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:29,714 But beforehand, a sorcerer from the village had put a spell on her. 674 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,553 And that's how Michael was born. 675 01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:38,353 Fuck, nobody will even spit in my face now. 676 01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:42,072 Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. 677 01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:44,796 Everybody has a secret. 678 01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:49,996 I was once kidnapped by UFO from outer space. 679 01:11:50,760 --> 01:11:51,988 What?! 680 01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:54,231 Fuck. It was nighttime. 681 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,709 I was coming back from an Oi! concert 682 01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:00,509 I got a bit lost and suddenly I saw them: 683 01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:04,719 Aliens from outer space and their ship. 684 01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:08,475 Strong lights, strange silhouettes, 685 01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:12,793 Sweet smell in the air. They invited me on board. 686 01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:16,472 It was amazing, I'm telling you. 687 01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:34,154 And then in the morning, a little problem. 688 01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:38,836 The aliens must have performed some tests on me... 689 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:43,152 You know, my clothes were are messy and that pain... 690 01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:45,834 They must have stuck a probe into my... 691 01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:47,797 No, don't tell me more. 692 01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:51,111 Everybody has the right to his secret. 693 01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:55,755 The most important thing is, guys, that everything came back to normal. 694 01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:00,479 The cameraman is a wanker! 695 01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:10,271 Can I have some of that delicious pork dish 696 01:13:10,440 --> 01:13:13,477 with the exotic name "Fak it" 697 01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:18,755 It's time to start enjoying life! 698 01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:25,038 You know Yolanda, Once, during a friendly game of chess 699 01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:28,237 I think it was in Buenos Aires 700 01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:31,553 One famous check player, listen to this: 701 01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:34,393 He made a finishing move with... 702 01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:36,677 With the queen! 703 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:40,272 Ladies and gentlemen, 704 01:13:40,440 --> 01:13:43,000 This nomination doesn't surprise anybody 705 01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:48,188 The chosen person knows youth and its problems very well. 706 01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,430 Please welcome, The new Education Minister! 707 01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:53,394 To you I say: good morning, 708 01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:57,872 To the dearest youth: yo yo, wussup? 709 01:13:58,040 --> 01:14:01,112 And to the teachers: Fuck you. 710 01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:04,080 Howdee? Halleluyah! 711 01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:10,952 Boss, one vodka please. 712 01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:14,749 - Sit in or take away? - Sit in. 713 01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:18,350 - 15 zloty. - Last time it was 12! 714 01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:21,751 We started charging an extra 3 zloty donation 715 01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:24,150 For the support of Polish science 716 01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,551 I've always supported Polish science. 717 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,320 And that professor, who is disgusted with the student's knowledge says 718 01:15:58,480 --> 01:16:00,835 "You want to finish your studies? " and... The student replies: "yes". 719 01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:04,231 To which the professor says: "You just did". 720 01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:09,431 A little anecdote from Uni. Funny, isn't it? 721 01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,113 I know a better one: 722 01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:14,192 "What does the University President should know most of all? " 723 01:16:14,360 --> 01:16:16,112 "Where the dean is!" 724 01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:18,236 No? How about that? 725 01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:21,949 "There's a Pole, a Russian and a German..." 726 01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:25,311 I love you. 55521

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.