All language subtitles for Infinity Baby (2017)

- Hi, yeah you must be Ben.

- I'm, uh, 40 friendly.

- Yes, married before
and I'm actually 43

but maybe we could slow
down a little bit.

- Do you wanna get
married again?

- I do, yes, of course.

And children?

- No children.

This is a story
about what happens

to this baby.

Our story takes place in
the not distant future.

- I'll do whatever it
takes to keep this job,

'cause I wanna excel.

I wanna be part of
the corporate elite,

I don't wanna sit with
the scum of the earth.

Middle class.

I wanna be on the winning team.

- What's another name
for the metal shackles

slaves wear around their necks?

- Yeah.

You get it, don't you?

Babies that don't age.

People called me crazy when
I got into this business.

Where's the profit in a
business like that, they said.

I said, I don't know.

But look at us now.

Hey, sorry, I hate being late.

- We should have
brought her something.

- No no no no no, she
doesn't need anything,

she doesn't like things.

- What do you mean she
doesn't like things?

- My brother's a hoarder,
he hoards things,

he keeps like receipts
and junk mail,

piles of books, clothes.

She doesn't like stuff, it
reminds her of my brother.

- Well flowers are nice, we
could have brought her flowers.

- Flowers remind her of funerals

which remind her of death.

I'm ringing, okay?

You look pretty.

- You look beautiful,
you do, you do.

- Thanks.

- Just don't be nervous,
she's gonna love you.

- I know it.

Hey Ma, it's me.

- It's Ben, Mom, Ben.

- Come in, have a seat.

- I, uh...

- Looks like a lot of
fun in those pants.

- Sorry!

He's sorry.

- Like a lot of fun
in those pants.

Bubble ass.

- He's sorry.
- No I'm not.

- You are, sorry.

- Looks like a can of
biscuits popping out.

- You're embarrassing me.

- Yeah you're a real
paragon of virtue.

- Thank you.

What's paragon?

- Shining example.

Look it up, I can't be your OED.

Oxford English Dictionary.

- Saw one of those once.

Neat.

- Agreed, neat.

A lot of what you say
isn't, what's the word?

Interesting.

- Ben tells me you're a florist.

- Ben tells me you hate flowers.

- What kind of person
hates flowers?

Gosh Ben didn't happen
to mention to you

that I had both knees
replaced last winter?

Just like new.

I can do everything you can
do except that when I do it

I'm in excruciating pain.

- Ben, could you help me
out a little bit here?

- Yeah, uh Mom, don't do this.

- You gotta be nice.

- So let me ask
you Terry, Terry?

Terry, yes.

- Terry, let me ask you.

What kind of career is that,
making floral arrangements?

- Well it's not so much a
career as it is just a job.

I went to college, I just
have a semester left

before I get my degree.

- Yeah.

I'm only asking
because you look like

you should be teaching
school, but you're not.

You're in school and you're
making flower arrangements.

- Well I'm actually majoring
in French literature

and I spent a little time
abroad in between semesters.

- I do actually.

- An attribute!

- So you're a snob.

- That's just a typical
American attitude.

- Look I don't wanna be rude...

- Sounds like you two
are having a nice talk.

- You couldn't even
understand us!

- Yeah but your French
sounded amazing.

I had no idea you spoke so
well, we could have used that.

You know, on nights when...

Please stop trying to be funny.

I'm not trying.

Why did you insist on us meeting

if she's like this?

- She's normally very sweet.

- She didn't even
give me a chance,

she was just mean to me
right from the gate.

You know what?

You guys have some
serious Oedipal issues.

- Oh, we should
have prepared more.

- What do you mean we
should have prepared more?

What am I like on trial?

- That's one way to put it.

When I'm in a relationship...

- Yeah, when you're
in a relationship...

- To a point in where you know

for the relationship to proceed
you have to meet my mother.

- Okay well I met your mother.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes, no, but you know in
order for the relationship

to proceed...
- Okay wait a second, hey.

Jesus. - Look at me.

You keep saying in order for
the relationship to proceed,

what does that mean?

- No I mean in order for the
relationship to proceed.

I told you this already.

My mother has to like you
and don't make me say it,

she doesn't like you.

- Wait are you trying
to break up with me

because your mother
doesn't like me?

- Well I don't wanna do this.

I don't wanna do
this it's just that

my mother's everything to me.

- Well your mother's a bitch.

- Oh, come on, that's not nice.

God I really don't like
that kind of talk.

Watch it, okay?

See this never would
have worked out anyway

with that kind of
pejorative attitude.

- Are you...
- This is for the best.

You know what?

You are the biggest
dick I have ever met.

- Sure.

Jesus!

- We had a good three months.

We were good right
out of the gate,

like the start of a horse race.

We were in the lead.

And then this happened, the
race is over now, and we lost.

It's okay, there
are other races.

There are other horses to ride.

Don't do that.

Don't walk away like the last
three months didn't happen.

Yeah.

Yeah means hello.

Hello?

- Hello.

Ben, it's Malcolm.

- Yeah.

- Our three o'clock appointment
isn't answering the door.

- Well we've buzzed the buzzer
thingy and she's not...

She's not letting us in.

- She's just not
coming to the door.

- Are you in the
apartment building?

- No.

We're outside.

- Well how do you know she's
not coming to the door?

Spit it out, I'm in 100
degree heat with a cell phone

to my head, I can actually
feel a tumor growing

as I talk right now.

- Stop yelling at me.

- Well get to the point!

- We've tried the buzzer thingy
and she's not answering,

she's not letting us in.

- Yeah, of course.

- Well let me talk to him.

- But he's holding the baby.

- Put the phone to his ear!

- Give me the fucking phone.

You know, we're
just hanging out.

- Uh huh.

- Well the doctor says
I gotta quit drinking

and I'm like fuck that.

He says if I don't quit my
liver's gonna give out.

I feel good about at
least having the courage

to tell him how much I drink.

- Larry.

I need to know
where you guys are

in that three o'clock
appointment.

- Yeah, she's not home.

- I mean no, she could
be dead up there.

She's not buzzing us
up for some reason.

Hey that's a good question.

If you're dead, are
you still home?

- What apartment are
you guys buzzing?

What apartment are we buzzing?

- We are buzzing four.

- Okay buzz 11.

- Because she lives
in apartment 11,

you were buzzing the
wrong apartment buddy.

- Oh okay, that happens.

- Yeah, it sure does buster.

Look I got a date in half an
hour so I gotta skedaddle.

What a doll.

- Terry and I broke up.

- And you're already going
out on another date.

- I like to play the field.

- Me too, I'm just
not that good at it.

- I don't wanna talk anymore
so I'm hanging up now.

- Yeah alright.

Yeah, of course.

You too big daddy.

No, you're the man.

Yeah, I love you too.

Okay, bye Ben.

- He hung up.

- Here.

Do you think maybe she
needs to be changed?

Buzz 11.

- She smells like she does.

- It's just once a week.

- Buzz 11.

- I don't get it.

We're standing out
there an eternity.

You're sitting here.

It's not right.

You're not right.

- I'm sorry.

Sorry.

- I do.

- I'll take it.

- Well you have the baby.

- You take the baby.

- You say what a lot.

Have you thought about
getting your hearing check?

- Yes I have thought about it.

- Come on in, fellas.

Watch your step.

- Why, is there something
we can trip on?

- No, you're carrying a baby.

Just watch your step.

- Oh I never thought about that.

I wonder how many babies have
been injured or even died

because someone was careless
and tripped on something

while they were holding one.

- I never thought
about that either.

- I guess we have to be
responsible with these things.

- Nevermind, do you want
something to drink?

- Oh a scotch and
soda on the rocks.

- I don't have scotch or
soda but I can offer you

a glass of ice.

- Thank you.

- I like ice.

- Two glasses of ice it is.

- Nothing, what's
wrong with you?

- Scotch and soda.

Let me do the talking.

- I like your apartment.

It's... nice.

Is that the right word?

- Do you think the baby
would like it here?

- I think she'd love it here.

I was kinda hoping
it was a girl.

What's her name?

- That's up to you, you can
call her whatever you want.

- Oh no, I'm afraid of babies.

- Surely that can't be the case

if you filled out
an application.

- My brother thinks
I should do this.

He says I'm cold, he says
I need a baby to nurture,

that it'll make me focus on
something other than myself.

- That's a wonderful
reason to have a baby.

- It's as good a reason as any.

- No.

- My brother said his
life meant nothing

until he had his little ones.

Everyone says that, right?

My life meant nothing
until I had my children.

Now my life is complete.

Thank god for my children, I'll
do anything for my children.

So.

The truth is I feel empty.

- Sure.

- I think about killing
myself on a daily basis.

- Um, I've been seeing
your company everywhere.

They don't age.

- That's right, Infinity
Babies don't age.

Malcolm.

- Well there is a benefit
in it, actually.

Because you hear a lot
of parents lament

the child growing up.

They leave the nest, they
don't call, they don't visit.

And invariably they
grow more distant.

- I thought most
parents couldn't wait

until their kids left.

My parents couldn't
conceal their glee.

I don't see how having a baby
not age changes anything.

Still shackles you.

- But it not aging really
takes the pressure off.

I'm not sure I can
explain this to you.

- When abortion was made
illegal on a federal level,

congress passed stem cell
laws to placate the left.

The republicans said
you give us abortion

and we'll give the democrats
stem cell research.

That allowed pharmaceutical
giants like our

parent company to
proceed with a number

of stem cell experiments
on human fetuses.

Now at some point there
was a botched experiment.

1,000 or so babies
inherited this defect.

No one could figure out what
caused it and no one knows

how to reverse it, so
started a subsidiary,

Infinity Baby, to find
homes for these babies.

And that's what we do.

- In any case, Infinity
Babies sleep a lot.

And they don't cry much.

- They coo.

- The coo of a baby

is the most beautiful
sound in the world.

Or at least it's way up there.

- Some say it has
healing properties.

- Not the cooing itself
but the presence

of the baby in general.

- My uncle Toby, he had
hemorrhoids and then he got a dog

and well he still
has hemorrhoids,

but they don't flare up as much.

- Well if a dog can
lower the number

of hemorrhoidal
flareups in someone,

imagine what a baby can do.

- Cooing baby may be
pleasant but a crying baby

certainly isn't.

- You don't have to
worry about that.

Infinity Babies primarily sleep,

that's pretty much all they do.

You only have to change
their diaper once a week.

You can adjust the baby's
meds to fit your schedule.

- That's what I was
gonna ask, the meds.

Tell me about the meds.

- Well they're all included
in your three month

Infinity parenting pack.

These drugs make caring for
the baby a piece of cake.

- And they don't do
any harm to the baby.

- Why can't they make a
pill that ages the child?

- Good question.

- Great question.

- It's a she.

- People die, children die,
even babies that don't age die.

Don't they?

Or do they?

- Look it's all in the
instruction manual.

It's two pills once
a week, very easy,

you do that the
baby will be fine.

- Don't take them yourself.

- Well... I mean I for
one don't sleep good

and if I had the choice,
one bowel movement a week

would be ideal.

Regardless, the pills
don't work on adults.

- It's quite alright,
I have my own pills.

I'd like one, what
are they, uppers?

Downer.

- I don't think you two should
be working around children.

- The great thing about
living in this country is

you're entitled to your opinion.

- Another great thing
about this country is

that you don't have to be
mentally stable to work

with children.

- In any case, this isn't
a child, it's a baby.

- She'll remain as she is.

- Innocent and uncorrupted.

- What's the point of taking
care of a perpetual baby

if it's not going to grow
into a sentient being

you can interact with?

Why bother?

- See you have have
several plants, Lydia.

- I do.

- There's your answer.

- I think I'm gonna
pass on this.

- It's $20,000 for
doing nothing.

- Please get out of my house.

- It's an apartment.

Apartment.

- Boy oh boy, she hated us.

- She did.

But that didn't matter so much.

She didn't want the baby,
you could sorta see that

right off the bat.

She invited us up
to pass the time.

- Yeah she didn't
have the confidence

to go through with it.

♪ Gonna walk around

♪ Gonna talk around

♪ Gonna walk around

♪ Gonna talk around and see

- Hi.

- Hi!

- Oh hey.
- Hi Ben.

It's nice to meet
you face to face.

- You too.

Jeez, you're beautiful.

Sorry to be like that.

It's just you look
better in person

than you do in your pictures.

- Well thanks I guess.

- That's not, it
sounds like I'm saying

you look terrible
in your photos.

You don't, you look,
no, you look great,

but it's just in real life.

Wow.

- Well I already like you.

- Sorry I get nervous
at these things.

There's just, there's
a lot of pressure.

- I know, yeah, me too, me too.

And honestly I've been
so busy the last,

well the last few
years actually.

- Right, with your interior
decorating business?

- Mm hmm.

Yeah, I just haven't had
time for anything else.

I mean I'm not making a ton
of money but I'm working

consistently, building clients.

- Yeah, your profile
said you work a lot.

Can I get you a
coffee or a salad?

- I'd love a coffee and a water.

- Okay fuck you,
I'm not a waiter.

That's not funny.

Milk, sugar?

- I'm lactose intolerant.

- Okay, yeah, that's a problem.

I only date tolerant women.

- Well I'm normally very
tolerant, I promise you.

- You could be a serial
killer for all I care.

With a face like
that, forget it.

- Aw, you're sweet.

Go get the coffees
and we'll talk.

- Okay.

Um...

Okay.

Go get the coffees?

She's already bossing me around.

Did I really need to know that
drinking milk gives her gas?

I don't need to know that
right out of the gate.

Why does she want to
reveal so much so quickly?

She laughs so much.

We've talked for two minutes

and she's laughing
at everything.

I mean there's a desperation
in that, isn't there?

And she can't sit 15
seconds alone without

picking up her phone.

Still she's cute.

Really cute.

And if she's an interior
designer that's good,

they make good
money, don't they?

Means I won't have to
pay for everything.

But she said she's not
making good money

which means I will.

She has nice eyes.

There's something
dreamy about her,

she's probably thinking
about marriage and kids.

Can I help you?

Yeah, I'll have a black
coffee and a fucking water.

♪ You push

♪ I'll go

♪ You push

♪ I'll go

♪ I'll go

♪ I'll go

♪ I'll go

And that's how babies are made.

Making babies is easy.

Taking care of them
is a punishment.

- $20,000.

We keep it for ourselves.

In three months we just
tell them the lady

didn't want the baby and then
no one knows the difference.

- Larry, we don't
need the money.

I've been saving.

I've saved $60,000 by
putting away $20 a day

for the last 30 days.

- That's $600.

You're unbelievably stupid.

- We can't take care of her.

- Sure we can, it's easy.

We just give her the pills,
stick her on the sofa,

go about our business.

- But we have to change
her diaper once a week.

- Changing a diaper
once a week, so what?

It's a piece of cake.

- And we just keep the check.

- What are we gonna do
with $20,000 Larry?

- Pay for our wedding
for one thing.

- I told you, I'm undecided
on the topic of weddings.

- I know, but it's
good for taxes.

- I'm not even
sure that I'm gay.

Larry, I don't think
I am exactly.

- Keep telling yourself that.

- I think I might be more
bisexual or pansexual.

- I don't think I
can answer that.

I have to think about this.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Now, let's take it home and
have a drink to celebrate.

- Okay.

Let's celebrate.

But let's drink responsibly
because we're parents now.

- Drink as responsibly
as you want,

I'm getting shitfaced.

- Drink as responsibly as you
want, I'm getting shitfaced.

- Yeah, it's definitely
time for her to be changed.

- I don't wanna do it.

- Come on, you've only changed
her once since we got her.

- I know, but originally
you said you would do it.

- If you love the baby, you
won't mind changing the diaper.

- I don't love this thing.

I don't wanna do it.

- I'm sorry.

I can't believe we have
to do this once a week

for the next three months.

- Two months.

I don't know much

about what happened
at Guantanamo Bay

but if they really wanted
to torture the prisoners

they would have forced
them to do this.

- I don't think you should
be comparing this to that.

- Okay, I'm finished.

- The worst thing
I've ever done.

- We can increase the
baby's medication.

- The constipation medication.

We just give her
double the amount

and then you only have
to do this half as much.

Why me, why?

Sure.

- We could up her dosage
with the red pill too,

then we only have to
feed her half as often.

- That makes sense.

- Uh.

Oh god, I got feces on my arm.

You make a big deal
about everything!

Fuck.

- Larry that's not
cleaner for people,

that's cleaner for countertops.

Ow, Larry ow it burned my eye!

Larry stop, Larry,
Larry, Larry no!

Ah Larry stop, stop it!

Ah!

- We had every reason to
think this was temporary

but it isn't.

Meaning you're blind.

- Jesus.
- Yeah.

- What about in like a year,
will I be blind then?

- I think so.

Good question.

Great question, probably.

- I'm sorry I
pre-ejaculated so quickly.

I thought that's
what you wanted.

- You mentioned you
were impatient.

- You have an answer for
everything, don't you?

- I do now.

Wish that were the
case in college.

I may have graduated.

- I assumed you did
well in school.

- No, I'm dyslexic, I
had trouble reading.

Came in handy though
when my parents asked me

how I was doing.

For the longest time I
thought my GPA was 3.2,

it was actually 2.3.

Wow, now she's laughing

at my lack of intelligence.

Well how did you end
up becoming a manager

at Infinity Baby?

- I dunno, I applied
like everyone else.

It was pretty intense.

Plus my father owned the
company and my uncle runs it.

- I wanna have a baby one day.

Do you?

- Yeah I'd like to have
a baby for one day.

And then give it back.

The truth is I'm just
kinda scared of all that.

- Yeah, well that's fair.

- I'm a coward.

- Is that how you get all the
girls, is that your schtick?

I'm a coward, will
you go out with me?

She really is kinda perfect.

I think maybe I could stay
with her for a while.

Maybe even get married.

As long as we're not
talking all the time

and she's not laughing so
much at everything I say.

I wonder what it's going to
be like two months from now.

Oh, hi.

Get off of me.

Space.

I just want space.

Morning.

- Oh you're really
insatiable, you know that?

- We've got a problem
here at the apartment.

We need you to come over.

- No, I'm not coming over there.

- It's kind of an emergency,
work related emergency.

Just tell me what it is, Jesus!

- Yes, I'll explain
more when you get here.

I'm not happy.

- I know Ben, I'm
not happy either.

As we get older it's
best just to accept

that we're never gonna
be truly happy,

but if you think about it...

You can't appreciate happiness

without experiencing bleakness.

When I'm feeling down, what
I usually do is make myself

a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal.

- I have to go.

- No, don't go!

Yep.

- Then I make a boiled egg,
peel it, say a tantric prayer,

then I throw it out the window.

- I had a dream last night
we were getting married.

And we were both crying and
our tears were filling up

all around us like
we were in a bathtub

and we just kept crying and
then we were lifted up

by this ocean of tears
and carried into heaven.

And when we got there my
grandmother was there

and she was crying and
then all of our particles

just started spinning all
around and there was this

torque of energy
and positivity and

everyone just started
dissolving into this

tornado of goodness.

I love you Ben!

I'm just so in love with you!

- I think you should
meet my mother.

- Yeah, I think it's time.

- But Ben this makes
me really nervous.

You said your mother's
everything to you.

- Yeah, she is for
the most part, yeah.

- You said that if your
mother doesn't approve

of one of your girlfriends
it's usually a sign

you can't continue.

- Let's just say it's difficult.

- This is making
me really nervous.

What if she doesn't like me?

I don't wanna meet her!

How am I supposed to tell
her that I love her son

and I wanna make 100
babies with him?

Why does this always happen?

Every time.

God this is going to
hurt her so badly.

Then I'm gonna feel horrible.

Why do they have
to care so much?

Why can't they just
ride the wave?

Isn't that what this is all
about, just riding the wave?

Look at her, she'll be fine.

Ow!

She's like a six year old.

She'll find the
whole thing funny.

New York could get attacked
by Chinese warships

and she would be laughing until

the very last heartbeat.

- When do you want
me to meet her?

- As soon as possible.

- Hester.
- Yes.

- It's Ben.

- Hello Ben.

- I need to introduce you
to my girlfriend tomorrow.

- Can't do it
tomorrow, I'm busy.

- I'll call you tonight
with the details.

You're gonna have to be
extra hard on this one.

She thinks life is a
bowl of cherries.

- I just told you I'm busy.

- I figure we can start
with interior design,

it's what she does, but
I can't talk right now,

I'll let you know the details...

- Oh my god.

Maybe I need to
stop dating women

and retreat back to girls.

Find a young girl who
likes to have fun.

Maybe do some drugs
and go out dancing.

Go to a rave.

I should do all the
weird shit I did not do

when I was younger.

Maybe go to a goth club
dressed like a vampire.

Now's the time.

No, I love women too much.

I don't love them,
but I need them.

If they could just stop
taking things so seriously.

It's just a relationship.

Why does there always
have to be an ultimatum?

Marriage, babies, why can't
we just keep having fun?

Why do things always
have to be so serious?

- This is serious.

- I think about all the
success I've achieved

and then I ask myself, when
will it ever be enough?

I have an office here
and New York City.

I have people who ask me
what to do, when to do it,

and how to do it
on a daily basis,

and in a company like
this there's a lot to do

and a lot of people to do
it so you do the math.

I'm a busy man.

I sign checks for people.

I sit at the head of long
tables at board meetings

and after everyone's
had a chance to talk,

somebody says, "So Neo,
what do you think?"

And then I say what I think
and then what I think

is the final word.

That's some pretty awesome
shit, is it not, white boy?

- Yes.

- Does it bother you when
I call you white boy?

- No.

- 32.

- You know when I was 22 I was
digging graves in Louisiana.

100 degree heat.

I was putting coffins made
of cardboard in the ground.

The smell of decaying flesh was
so strong I could taste it.

Sounds awful, doesn't it?

- Yeah, it really does.

Unless you like the taste
of decaying flesh.

My nephew, here, now.

How?

Wow.

Yes, bring him in.

What the fuck?

Ben.

- Neo.

- Good to see you, Ben.

You kept the baby for three
months in order to collect

the $20,000 fee for yourselves.

- That's right.

- And then you gave the
baby extra pharmaceuticals

in order to stop it
from defecating.

- That's not entirely correct.

- We initially gave her
two constipation pills

thinking that she would
only use the bathroom

once every two weeks,
but that didn't work.

- Then we stopped giving
her the food pill

in hopes that that would
keep her from defecating.

- It did.

Hi I'm Ava, I can't wait
to meet you in person.

- Oh.

Sorry, I didn't bring
my headphones.

Um, I'll take this outside.

- Don't you want
to listen to this?

- No, I think it's better if
you handle this and them.

I'll take care of this.

You know, I think that's best.

- I just told you I got it.

- Okay, thanks Uncle Neo.

- So you starved the baby.

- We just stopped giving
it one of her pills.

- Yeah, the pill
that nourishes her.

- She didn't start crying
like a baby normally does

when it's hungry, she just
lied there and cooed.

- Laid there, yeah.

She just cooed.

- Until she stopped cooing.

- You know the orientation
specifically stipulates

that you do not under any
circumstances modify

the medication schedule.

There are warning
labels at every step

exhorting you to avoid...

Can you even read?

- Of course.

I could.

- Idiots.

Were you at the orientations?

- I think it was an orientation.

We were at one, crazy tedious.

- Here's what we're gonna do.

There is an easy fix to this.

It's like a paper trail.

Get rid of the trail,
nobody can touch you.

We take the baby to this guy.

- I ask the questions here.

- I wonder who this is.

- You just take the
baby to Fenton

and the problem go bye bye.

- Problem go bye bye.

- Problem go bye bye.

I admire your courage.

You saw an opportunity to get
$20,000 and you went for it.

I like that.

But a baby died.

In order to make money
sometimes you have to

kill a few babies.

My good friend Dick
Cheney, the former CEO

of defense contractor
Halliburton taught me that.

You guys like kombucha?

- There's somebody
here to see you.

- It's Neo Getwell.

It's a very powerful man.

- Well they have a
baby with them.

You look well.

- I'm not.

- I...

I can't really talk about it.

- You know we might have an
opening in the mail room.

It would get you
out of this place,

you could work your way up.

Another year or two
you could have

an office of your
very own maybe.

I'm a little too
old to start over

without it being
ridiculous to me

and everyone around me.

But, my niece needs a job.

- Hi.

Could I hold your baby?

- Hi.

- She's quiet.

- Yeah, she seems to be.

- Yeah, she likes to sleep.

- I'm not the mother.

- Discretion as always.

- Is that why you brought
along an entourage?

- They're training.

- They're part of the team.

- Teamwork makes the dream work.

- Good one.

- I have to take this.

But you can't give
me the results now?

Okay.

I'm on my way.

That was the doctor, I have
to go in and get the results

of my liver function panel.

I'm gonna slip out.

- No wait, Larry, you can't.

- I have to.

- It's fine, they're
gonna take care of her.

- I'm Tiffany.

- You're a very
pretty girl, Tiffany.

How old are you?

- I'll be 19 in April.

I just graduated high school
so I'm looking for a job.

I don't really like this place.

- Well if you ever
need any advice

maybe we can go have
dinner sometime.

- Yeah I dunno, I don't
really love advice.

- Good.

- I have a bad
feeling about this.

- This place seems evil.

- Malcolm, there's no
such thing as evil.

- I know.

Larry this just isn't right.

We killed a baby,
we stole the money,

we're gonna get away with it?

Surely we have to pay a price.

- Wait, now you're scaring
the hell out of me.

- I'm going to get the
results to my panel,

you're making me paranoid!

No, not really.

- Well Skinner made
it pretty clear that

you were done for if
you kept drinking.

True.

- And you've averaged two
quarts of vodka per day

for the last 10 weeks.

- Correct.

- Why do you like
drinking so much, Larry?

- Fuck you.

- There's a virus in the air.

You're feeling it too.

- It's true, I read the
papers, I know what I'm doing

is wrong, I'm covering up
things that should be exposed.

You're doing very bad things.

You're dealing in them.

By doing what I'm an accomplice
to these very bad things.

- That's one way
of looking at it.

- I just, I have a
terrible feeling.

Like maybe, maybe being
selfish and irresponsible

isn't the way to be.

- Malcolm, this isn't
the time or place

to start feeling guilty.

Larry.

What do you like to do?

Have fun.

Yeah?

I'm not really looking to
date anyone right now.

Why not?

- I'm too young, I don't
wanna commit to anybody.

- I think that's an
excellent attitude.

- Absolutely.

What do you do for fun?

- Drugs.

- Okay Tiffany, I'm gonna
have to take her from you.

- You know why.

You're gonna hurt her.

- No I'm not.

- Yes you are, you're
gonna wake her up.

No I'm not gonna wake her up.

What are you talking about?

- Jesus!

Look what you did.

A hug, that's all it took.

Turned out to be
relevant to the process.

When's too early to say I
wish I'd never been born?

- Okay, I'm gonna
leave you here then.

You can get upstairs okay?

- Yeah, I'll manage.

Actually starting to get
used to the darkness,

it's actually kinda comforting.

- You know what, let me
try something real quick.

- Okay.

- Okay, open your eyes.

Can you see?

You know, sometimes we
see what we wanna see.

- Okay.

- So you're okay with
keeping the baby

a few more weeks til
we find her a home?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Dunno what happened
to your friend.

He'll be back to help you take
care of the girl, I assume.

- Yeah, he'll be back later.

- Alright, good luck to you.

Glad everything worked out.

- Goodbye.

I don't know where you
are, but I need you.

Something strange has happened.

Something strange and wonderful.

I dunno if it's a sign but if
it is it's pretty amazing.

It's funny, ever
since you blinded me

I've never seen more clearly.

I feel a strange connection
to the universe.

It's hard to explain.

By not seeing anything it's
like I can see everything.

Phone off.

- Hey Mom.
- Hello Ben.

- This is Alison.

- Hi Alison.
- Hi!

It's so exciting to meet you!

- It's nice to meet you too.

- Alison, my mother hates
that, don't do that.

- Oh I'm so sorry,
I didn't know.

- Yeah that's not a
great way to start.

- Actually it was kind
of nice to be hugged.

Ben never hugs me.

Ben tells me you're...

You're into interior design.

- Oh yeah, that's how
I make my living

but I'm small time.

I work with small budgets
and mainly friends.

- And can you pay
your bills this way?

- Not really.

Sometimes I actually
lose money on a place.

But my parents help me out.

- So you sponge off
of your parents?

- Kind of.

It's terrible, I
know, but I'm lucky.

I really wanna live here and
they insist on helping me

and I need the help sometimes.

- Well, gosh I don't know maybe
if you applied yourself more

and really worked hard you
could become self-sufficient.

- Well I work a lot, I do, but
you're right, you're right.

My mother gets after
me about that too.

I just get distracted so easily.

I mean there's so much to
see and do in the city and

it's all so inspiring.

I just really wanna
take it all in

before I meet the man of
my dreams and have a baby.

- I mean I like interior design,

but I really just
wanna be a mom.

- Wow.

Well I'm not sure
if Ben is ready for

that kind of responsibility.

- Yeah, I know, that's one
of the reasons I love him.

- Yeah.

But I know this probably
isn't permanent.

Really?

And what does that mean?

- Well you know what I mean.

You don't love me.

- Wait, I didn't say that.

- Well right, but you
didn't say you did either,

that's the most important part.

- But that's the
problem, you said it.

- Right.

And I meant it, I felt it and
I meant it so I said it.

- Ben is a child, Alison,
you should move on.

- Mom, what are you
talking about?

- Alison.

Why do you wanna
be a mom so badly?

I dunno, maternal urge?

Well I have a lot of
friends who are writers,

artists, lawyers, you know.

I get invites to book readings
and art openings and I go

and I see how proud my friends
are and I'm proud of them.

Takes a big commitment
to achieve big things.

- That's a little
simplistic, isn't it, Mom?

- Be quiet please.

Continue.

- Well, I just imagine
there's this moment

when someone gets a New
York Times book review

or makes some huge
medical breakthrough

or closes some multimillion
dollar deal where

they're thinking this is it.

You know, I've done it, I've
achieved what I've always

wanted to achieve.

And I'm no genius, but
I'm no idiot either.

I think I could work hard and
achieve things like that.

- Mm hmm.

- But I just don't have
those kind of fantasies.

Probably a lot of people don't.

But...

Well I do have a specific
dream in my head

I'd like to see play out.

I imagine I'm sleeping
in bed with my husband

and it's morning and
the sun is pouring

through the windows or
it's raining outside,

I guess it doesn't
really matter.

But we're sound asleep and
the bedroom door opens

and our two children
come in and they say,

"It's time to get up Mommy,
it's time to get up Daddy!"

And we just pull them
into bed with us

and we all just giggle
and laugh as a family

and it's perfect
and we're happy.

- You're such a sweetheart.

- Yeah but it's never
perfect and you know

that's just an
idealistic fantasy.

The reality is that having
children is very stressful

and I'm not a morning person,
I like to sleep late.

- Oh my god.

- Anyway, I know these
things scare you, Ben.

- Then why are we
still together?

- Because I love you!

- Break up with him.

I should, shouldn't I.

- He brought you here because
he wants to break up with you.

- Mom!

- Oh quit calling me that!

You know what?

I'm not even his mother.

- She's lying.

Mom, seriously.

- Oh come on.

He pays me.

He pays me to pretend
I'm his mother

and I hate all of
his girlfriends

so that he has an excuse
to break up with them.

- This is the fourth one of
you that I've done in a year.

Oh he begged me to
do this one, yeah.

Promised to donate $5,000 to
a koala rescue organization.

- This doesn't seem possible!

- Well, you know, he's a coward.

Well look at her!

She's laughing even at this!

It's cute.

- Yes he does it, he's doing
it, he's doing it right now!

This is him doing
it, here he is!

- Wait, wait a second!

Okay.

- No, this is fascinating.

Tell me more.

- Well, he can't commit.

When he starts getting
antsy and wants to get out

of a relationship, he
faxes me a dossier.

- Fax, nobody faxes!

- And then I have to
pick out the things

that I can use in the meeting

and then I have to denigrate
these poor girls.

- Wow.

- I've even rehearsed lines.
- Wow.

Are you laughing at me?

I mean is this just some
kind of joke to you?

- No, no, I'm sorry.

- No no no no, those
are my lines.

Yeah see, I'm supposed to
grill you about laughing.

Yeah, I'm supposed to make
you feel bad about laughing

so that he can justify
breaking up with you.

That's what we're
dealing with here.

Mm hmm.

I mean I love that you
laugh, I think you have

an adorable laugh, I mean
if I were dating you...

- Okay enough, enough Hester!

I would be like laugh more,

laugh as much as you want!

- I don't know why
you're doing this now

after all these years,
but you know what?

Okay, okay.

And right.

It's probably not the most
ethical way to break up

with someone, but you know what?

It would never have to
come to this if you women

could just be realistic
about things.

Just be realistic.

The soulmate doesn't exist.

And the white wedding,
the perfect marriage,

the perfect death do us part
scenario, it's a fantasy man!

And when I say man, I mean,
you know, I mean, I mean man.

Because to call someone
man denotes a disconnect

and I am disconnected from
both of you right now.

It never, it never fails!

It never fails!

You're in a solid
relationship with a woman,

it's going really well,
and then at some point

the woman has to screw
up everything by being,

you know, this.

Like wanting feminine things.

You know, like I want
a baby because I have

maternal instincts,
I wanna breastfeed.

I wanna get married.

I wanna say my vows
and pledge my love

in front of a bunch of people
I don't even know because...

What?

Why?

I want a baby so I
can unburden myself

from who I thought
I was gonna be.

And then you.

Like what?

You have to go and screw
up this thing we have

because she hugged you?

Is that what it is, a hug?

That's all it took?

- Ben, please calm down.

- Don't tell me
what to do, Alison.

You're always telling
me what to do.

Everyone's always
telling me what to do.

I don't tell you what to do.

I don't tell you not to laugh.

- Why would anyone tell
anyone not to laugh?

- Because it's fucked up
to laugh all the time!

Oh yeah, I'm fucked
up for laughing?

- No Alison, he's fucked up.

I'm fucked up.

You're fucked up.

You too, you're fucked, both,
the world is fucked up!

And having babies, bringing
babies into this fucked up world

and then just
laughing all the time

isn't gonna change anything.

- Drugs.

- I have to go.

Bye, bye Alison, bye.

Bye, bye Mom, bye!

Oh!

I almost forgot.

I dunno, I dunno,
it's the way it is,

you just pay for
things you don't want,

it's what it's all about.

This whole world
of boy meets girls

is actually just a world
of let me spend my money

on temporary happiness
but inevitable misery

because you all just can't
do what you're told.

You can't do what you're told.

- You're a bore.

- Taking this back.

- Please shove it up your ass,

you misogynist, shallow,
self-centered oaf.

- Hi yeah, you must be Ben.

- I'm, uh, 40 friendly.

- Yes, married before
and I'm actually 43

but um maybe we could
slow down a little bit?

- Do you want to
get married again?

- Uh, I do, yes, of course.

And children?

- No children.

- Um, yeah, of course if I'm
blessed enough to have them.

- Blessed, are you
a Jesus freak?

- I consider myself
a spiritual person.

So what, you taking off?

Yeah.

- Uh yeah, you know,
it was, in fact.

You're a 43 year old woman,
you wanna get married,

start a family, and that's
not what I want right now.

- Okay well that's fair.

- I think so.

Hey can I ask you a question?

- Yeah, sure.

That sounds awesome.

That's what the kids say
right, they say awesome?

- I can't believe we've been
together for five years.

The distant future.

Well it's flown by.

- Like a rooster.

- It's flown by like a rooster.

- Like a rooster on drugs.

- A rooster on drugs.

Dad, can we see a movie?

- Yeah of course, we can
do whatever you want.

Can we get some ice cream?

- Absolutely.

Movie and an ice cream sounds
like the perfect Friday night.

Although the last movie we saw

I didn't really care for.

- Well, because the characters
didn't really change much

from the beginning to the end.

They just, they stayed the same.

- Well it's kind of a big deal.

- I'm pretty excited.

Never been to a vampire
goth club before.

- You're gonna like it.

- Yeah.

Because in a movie when
a character's flawed

or makes a mistake or
series of mistakes,

they can change,
they can grow up.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Growing up is important.

- I don't know, it's kinda new.

- Think it's more like meth.

We're gonna be up for several
days but it's kinda herbal.

- I can't wait to grow up.

Yeah, that'll make me
sad but I can't wait

to see that happen too.

- You can't see, why
will you be sad?

- Well, you see one day
you're gonna be big enough

to leave home and you're
gonna go to college

and you're gonna
make new friends

and you're probably gonna
get romantically involved

with someone.

And maybe you'll start a family,

maybe you'll start a career
but you and I probably won't

see each other as much.

- I don't want that to happen.

It's not a bad thing, though.

- Oh, that's good.

Yeah, I think so.

- This is easily the
healthiest relationship

I've ever been in in my life.

- Me too.

I'm pregnant.

♪ I get so tall on being me

♪ Oh I am joy I am a song

♪ There is no place
I don't belong

♪ And now the earth
can't hold me

♪ The earth will never hold me

♪ I know the earth won't
hold me while I want to live

♪ I follow walls
that lead to space

♪ I tumble into what I say

♪ I attack the dark
and find the day

♪ And now the earth
can't hold me

♪ The earth will never hold me

♪ I know the earth won't
hold me while I want to live

♪ I leap into the moving sun

♪ I feel the heat
but I won't burn

♪ I'll use the light
for my return

♪ And now the earth
can't hold me

♪ The earth will never hold me

♪ I know the earth won't
hold me while I want to live

♪ I string the newly
colored beads

♪ I keep no time I reach no fear

♪ I have no way yet all is here

♪ And now the earth
can't hold me

♪ The earth will never hold me

♪ I know the earth won't
hold me while I want to live

♪ I leap into the moving sun

♪ I feel the heat
but I won't burn

♪ I'll use the light
for my return

♪ And now the earth
can't hold me

♪ The earth will never hold me

♪ I know the earth won't
hold me while I want to live

♪ I string the newly
colored beads

♪ I keep no time I reach no fear

♪ I have no way yet all is here

♪ And now the earth
can't hold me

♪ The earth will never hold me

♪ I know the earth won't
hold me while I want to live

♪ I leap into the moving sun