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1
00:00:03,038 --> 00:00:05,886
Hey, welcome back to Sploopers.
2
00:00:06,386 --> 00:00:10,028
Big top 10 bloopers sports countdown.
Watch out, hey.
3
00:00:10,528 --> 00:00:14,523
Number two: Baseball.
Wow, bats, balls, players.
4
00:00:14,565 --> 00:00:18,535
Here we go. Dugout. Peanuts.
Watch out. Look out. It's...
5
00:00:19,035 --> 00:00:20,334
Number two.
6
00:00:20,834 --> 00:00:23,249
Oh, my... Oh, my...
7
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:30,366
Right in the resin bag.
Oh, right in the edamame, yep.
8
00:00:30,581 --> 00:00:33,746
All right, number one. Here we go,
what we've all been waiting for.
9
00:00:34,246 --> 00:00:38,411
American gymnast, Dave Stewie,
going for the gold.
10
00:00:42,077 --> 00:00:45,763
Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!
11
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,605
Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!
12
00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:05,512
No medal that year,
never been heard from again.
13
00:01:06,012 --> 00:01:09,325
Dave Stewie, where are you now?
14
00:01:17,779 --> 00:01:21,127
Hi, Mr. Stewie.
- Hey.
15
00:01:21,627 --> 00:01:24,262
Hey, Mr. Stewie. How you doing?
16
00:01:56,284 --> 00:02:00,735
Okay, let's go. Give it to Champ.
Move your feet, move your feet.
17
00:02:01,235 --> 00:02:02,306
Okay, defense, heads up.
18
00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:03,705
Heads up.
19
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:06,344
Move your feet, reach out. Hold that.
20
00:02:06,844 --> 00:02:09,649
Down low. Who's good?
- Over here!
21
00:02:10,365 --> 00:02:12,365
My house.
22
00:02:13,535 --> 00:02:15,535
Yup, next period.
23
00:02:15,882 --> 00:02:17,786
Class is over already?
- Man, it can't be.
24
00:02:18,286 --> 00:02:19,790
Come on, Mr. Stewie,
five more minutes.
25
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,523
You wanna be late to your next class?
- It's just math.
26
00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:26,462
I hear that, Derek. But is it my fault
I teach the only class that's fun here?
27
00:02:26,962 --> 00:02:30,630
Come on, off with the jerseys.
You've got numbers to triangulate...
28
00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:35,274
or whatever it is they teach you
in math these days. Come on, hustle.
29
00:02:35,774 --> 00:02:40,789
There's more to life
than just shooting basketballs all day.
30
00:02:42,931 --> 00:02:44,068
Oh, beware the bean, Bob.
31
00:02:44,568 --> 00:02:46,814
It'll explode the old
ticker, just like that.
32
00:02:47,314 --> 00:02:50,585
You kidding me? It's the only way
I keep my edge over those miscreants.
33
00:02:51,085 --> 00:02:53,089
Turn your back,
they'd swarm on you like locusts.
34
00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:56,789
Bob, kids follow leadership.
Gotta build respect, takes time.
35
00:02:57,289 --> 00:03:00,729
Yeah, well, I don't have any more time.
They suck me dry like vampires.
36
00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:03,964
You know, you're not fooling anybody.
You're no different than us.
37
00:03:04,464 --> 00:03:07,022
I bet you're this close to giving up.
38
00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:12,197
I'm a gym teacher, Bob.
Quitting isn't in my vocabulary.
39
00:03:17,232 --> 00:03:19,357
Dave.
- Principal Hoffman.
40
00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:21,743
Abby. Are those new shorts?
41
00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:28,178
No.
- Really? They seem so fitted.
42
00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:30,492
Not that you don't usually wear
fitted shorts...
43
00:03:30,992 --> 00:03:34,137
but they just seem exceptionally fit.
44
00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:36,600
Thank you.
- Oh, Dave.
45
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,400
Did you get my memo about
the square dancing requirement?
46
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,473
Yeah, I gotta say, dancing,
not really physical education.
47
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,474
Could not agree with you more.
48
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:48,377
I'll trust your animal instincts, Dave.
Animal.
49
00:03:48,877 --> 00:03:50,413
But the board of ed tends to differ.
50
00:03:50,913 --> 00:03:53,315
Why don't I drop by, you and I do
a demonstration for the kids.
51
00:03:53,815 --> 00:03:58,405
I would love nothing more
than to have you box my gnat.
52
00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:06,996
I'll try to get to it
this marking period.
53
00:04:07,082 --> 00:04:09,346
Make sure you do-si do.
54
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,919
He can do a Chinese split.
55
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,348
Street shoes.
56
00:04:57,866 --> 00:05:00,916
Didn't I already have you in class?
- We're supposed to be in science.
57
00:05:01,416 --> 00:05:03,088
Yeah, but how many frogs can you dissect?
58
00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:08,577
Hey, what are you kids trying to do
around here, get me in trouble?
59
00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:11,627
One game of dodge ball.
- Yeah.
60
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,795
Are we your favorite class?
- You bet you are.
61
00:05:14,295 --> 00:05:16,631
And you know why? Because
there's not a loser among you.
62
00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:18,134
Well, what about Derek?
63
00:05:18,634 --> 00:05:21,103
Hey. Now clearly,
Derek is no brain trust.
64
00:05:21,603 --> 00:05:23,539
He's proven that to me
beyond my satisfaction.
65
00:05:24,039 --> 00:05:25,474
And let's face it, hey...
66
00:05:25,974 --> 00:05:27,809
wouldn't wanna meet him
in a dark anywhere.
67
00:05:28,309 --> 00:05:31,247
But what's important here
is Derek is no spaz.
68
00:05:31,747 --> 00:05:34,616
And trust me, I'm a gym teacher,
if there's one thing I know...
69
00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:37,241
I can always spot a spaz.
70
00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:14,646
Three schools in two years.
Are you an agitator, Roland?
71
00:06:14,989 --> 00:06:17,190
I don't like agitators in this school.
They agitate me.
72
00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:20,315
You understand what I'm saying?
They agitate me.
73
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,815
I try to fit in.
74
00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:26,667
Oh, my good Lord.
I think I'm losing my hearing.
75
00:06:27,167 --> 00:06:29,774
Maybe I should see the health teacher
and get my ears checked.
76
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:32,274
I try to fit in.
77
00:06:32,527 --> 00:06:34,779
Let me tell you,
I can't put up with any shenanigans.
78
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,558
I'm too old for it,
I'm not dressed for it.
79
00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:38,867
You understand me?
80
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:40,651
What's up with that helmet?
81
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,451
Well, my mom likes me to wear it
when I take gym.
82
00:06:43,951 --> 00:06:45,652
I think it's weird. Are you a weirdo?
83
00:06:46,152 --> 00:06:47,421
I try not to be.
84
00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:50,292
You're not a freak? You're not a nut?
I'm allergic to nuts.
85
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,582
Don't ever bring me nuts,
you understand me?
86
00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:56,082
Welcome to Hamm Lake.
87
00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:58,651
I'm watching you.
88
00:07:06,194 --> 00:07:08,194
Good one, good one.
89
00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:12,257
Hey, remember, Champ,
bend like wind.
90
00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:15,466
What the heck?
- Did it sting?
91
00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:18,971
Tagged by a girl.
92
00:07:23,278 --> 00:07:26,338
Sorry, Morgan. Resume play.
93
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:10,854
You okay, Mr. Stewie?
- Fine.
94
00:08:11,493 --> 00:08:17,103
Nothing to see here. Just go back
to hitting each other with balls.
95
00:08:17,632 --> 00:08:21,131
Hi. I hate to interrupt.
96
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,950
Would you mind
giving that green button a bit of a tap?
97
00:08:24,450 --> 00:08:26,450
Okay.
98
00:08:33,815 --> 00:08:36,280
That will straighten you out.
99
00:08:36,364 --> 00:08:38,902
I'm the new English teacher,
taking over Miss Tiffy's classes,
100
00:08:39,402 --> 00:08:42,024
Winnie Bleeker.
- I bet you unfurl a mean ribbon.
101
00:08:42,524 --> 00:08:44,524
Excuse me?
102
00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:45,538
Hello.
103
00:08:46,038 --> 00:08:48,477
Hi, I wanted to talk to you about...
- Dave Stewie!
104
00:08:48,977 --> 00:08:53,096
I've got something for you,
Dave Stewie.
105
00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:57,829
Am I interrupting?
106
00:09:00,141 --> 00:09:02,811
No.
- Don't you have history class to teach?
107
00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:05,726
English.
- What word did you not understand?
108
00:09:06,226 --> 00:09:10,816
No, I teach English.
- Then why aren't you teaching it?
109
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:16,504
Dave, wait till you see this.
110
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:20,043
Is there a reason you dragged a TV
across my gym floor?
111
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:22,410
The president's
gonna make an announcement.
112
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,111
Hello, fitness instructors of America.
113
00:09:25,611 --> 00:09:28,415
Obesity among children
is the main problem...
114
00:09:28,915 --> 00:09:31,706
our administration
is going to tackle this year.
115
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:33,423
That is why I have created...
116
00:09:33,923 --> 00:09:36,257
the National
Gym Teacher of the Year Award...
117
00:09:36,757 --> 00:09:38,261
to recognize all the men and women...
118
00:09:38,761 --> 00:09:42,495
who work hard every day to get
our nation's children into shape.
119
00:09:42,995 --> 00:09:44,697
Each year,
we'll chose a different grade.
120
00:09:45,197 --> 00:09:46,933
This year, it's the eighth grade.
121
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,973
Everyone will participate,
no exceptions.
122
00:09:50,473 --> 00:09:51,999
And the gym teacher that drives...
123
00:09:52,499 --> 00:09:54,496
their class across the
finish line first...
124
00:09:54,996 --> 00:09:58,978
will get a $ 10,000 check
for their school, a huge trophy...
125
00:09:59,478 --> 00:10:03,051
and best of all, they'll get their face
on a box of Wheaties.
126
00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:06,387
So good luck, gym teachers.
127
00:10:06,887 --> 00:10:08,588
All of America is watching.
128
00:10:09,088 --> 00:10:11,994
The spotlight's on you.
You better not blow it.
129
00:10:12,494 --> 00:10:14,494
God bless America.
130
00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:18,235
We should start practicing now.
- Let's take it easy.
131
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:21,372
I knew if I hung around this school
something good would happen.
132
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,907
Slow down, man.
- We're gonna kill Burberry Prep.
133
00:10:24,407 --> 00:10:25,942
Sportsmanship, Champ,
part of your grade.
134
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:31,797
Can I talk to you in the hall, please?
Squat thrusts, 1000, now.
135
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:34,301
Yeah.
- Yes.
136
00:10:37,305 --> 00:10:40,423
Dave, what's going on?
You don't look so well.
137
00:10:40,923 --> 00:10:42,689
I'm talking about your face,
the rest of you...
138
00:10:43,189 --> 00:10:44,694
Soccer balls. Abby, stay focused.
139
00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:46,865
I don't think
we should enter this contest.
140
00:10:47,365 --> 00:10:48,499
You're the best gym teacher...
141
00:10:48,999 --> 00:10:52,333
It's not about me, it's about those kids.
I don't wanna build up their hopes...
142
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:55,924
just to have them
come crashing down if we don't win.
143
00:10:56,424 --> 00:10:59,399
Are you talking about them, or you?
144
00:10:59,594 --> 00:11:01,143
Is there a difference?
- I don't know.
145
00:11:01,643 --> 00:11:03,579
Everybody tells me
what a great gym teacher I am.
146
00:11:04,079 --> 00:11:07,448
But sometimes I think I don't deserve
to be calling myself a gym teacher.
147
00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:10,717
Gosh, I can't imagine you with a job
where you had to wear pants.
148
00:11:11,217 --> 00:11:14,787
Come on, Dave,
everything is gonna be fine.
149
00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:18,094
Okay, just imagine,
you know, picture the big crowds...
150
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:22,079
and the TV cameras
all chanting your name.
151
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:26,534
'Dave Stewie! Dave Stewie!'
It will be just like the old days.
152
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,881
Go, Dave Stewie! Go, Dave Stewie!
153
00:11:38,166 --> 00:11:40,417
You want another one?
- Make it a double.
154
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:41,782
What, two bananas?
155
00:11:42,282 --> 00:11:44,956
Whatever.
Put a kumquat in for all I care.
156
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:48,255
Well, if it's not the future
Gym Teacher of the Year.
157
00:11:48,755 --> 00:11:51,985
Yeah, right.
- What's the matter, Dave?
158
00:11:52,647 --> 00:11:54,026
I'm worried about the contest.
159
00:11:54,526 --> 00:11:57,600
Oh, please. Pound for pound, you're
the best gym teacher I've ever seen.
160
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:00,637
Well, yeah, right, Alice.
What do I know about winning?
161
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,505
You were an Olympic athlete.
- We all know how that turned out.
162
00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:06,807
Well, this is your chance
to turn it around.
163
00:12:07,307 --> 00:12:08,980
Let's hear it for Dave Stewie...
164
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,615
the president's first annual
Gym Teacher of the Year.
165
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:14,526
Come on, guys.
166
00:12:17,572 --> 00:12:22,191
Dave Stewie,
Gym Teacher of the Year.
167
00:12:22,691 --> 00:12:24,691
Well, that is...
168
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:27,698
I'm sorry,
I thought I was going to choke.
169
00:12:28,198 --> 00:12:32,278
But I guess that's what you do,
isn't it, Choker?
170
00:12:32,653 --> 00:12:34,693
What do you want, Bragg?
171
00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:37,556
Wheat grass.
172
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:41,709
Let me tell you something, Chokey.
173
00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:43,746
I'm gonna win this one for Burberry Prep.
174
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,601
And I'm gonna win it
just so that you don't.
175
00:12:47,101 --> 00:12:49,396
Because you are a disgrace.
176
00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:52,841
It sickens me that you're even allowed
around children.
177
00:12:53,341 --> 00:12:56,492
Hold him, hold him, hold him.
Bye-bye.
178
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:59,372
I'll see you around, Chokey.
179
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:08,869
His final vault here.
Dave Stewie, the American...
180
00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:11,638
heart, determination
and gorgeous hair...
181
00:13:12,138 --> 00:13:14,138
has to better a 9.4.
182
00:13:14,143 --> 00:13:17,309
He needs just to stick one here
and claim the gold.
183
00:13:17,809 --> 00:13:20,215
Dave Stewie,
about to make history here in Seoul.
184
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:24,085
An inspiration to anyone
who has had the courage to dream.
185
00:13:24,585 --> 00:13:29,626
Poised now before his final vault.
A crowd favorite going for the gold.
186
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:32,336
Now, here is his approach.
187
00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:35,431
He has good speed, good balance,
focus, determination.
188
00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:39,598
Yes, that's...
Oh, the humanity, the horror.
189
00:13:40,098 --> 00:13:43,972
At one time, destined
to be the face on a cereal box...
190
00:13:44,472 --> 00:13:46,841
now the highlight
of late-night blooper shows.
191
00:13:47,341 --> 00:13:50,745
Tear up your history books, folks,
and go live in a cave.
192
00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:53,046
The tragedy
of what I have just witnessed...
193
00:13:53,546 --> 00:13:57,929
will haunt me forever.
Let's watch it again.
194
00:14:10,451 --> 00:14:12,578
Hey.
- Hey.
195
00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:17,456
Want some?
196
00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:21,043
What is it?
- I found it in my backpack.
197
00:14:21,543 --> 00:14:23,543
I think it's meat.
198
00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:41,728
Hey, new kid, what's with your head?
- Are you talking to me?
199
00:14:42,228 --> 00:14:45,453
No, I'm talking to the other moron
with a spaceship on his skull.
200
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:48,418
Oh, no, it's a safety helmet.
201
00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:52,406
I just outfitted it, so that it looks
like the Ziggurat battle trooper.
202
00:14:52,906 --> 00:14:54,396
Safety helmet, huh?
203
00:14:54,896 --> 00:14:56,612
What are you protecting your head from?
204
00:14:57,112 --> 00:15:00,002
Oh, you know,
just bangs and bumps.
205
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,036
What about flying metal objects?
206
00:15:03,204 --> 00:15:05,204
Yeah.
207
00:15:12,313 --> 00:15:14,577
Mind if I sit down?
208
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:17,249
Yeah, sure.
209
00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:24,156
How's your head?
210
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:27,709
You know, it's ringing a bit.
211
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:31,694
Good thing you had that helmet on.
- Yeah.
212
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,367
I'm Suzie.
- Roland.
213
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:44,838
Hey, it's the Burberry bus.
214
00:15:49,717 --> 00:15:54,954
Hey, Hamm hock. We'll see you
at the gym-teacher contest.
215
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:59,874
You'll get yours, Booberry.
I totally burnt that guy.
216
00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,861
Jokers.
217
00:16:28,889 --> 00:16:31,473
Are you okay, Mr. Stewie?
- All right...
218
00:16:31,973 --> 00:16:34,707
touch your toes or your ankles
or some other part of your legs.
219
00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:37,713
Shouldn't we be practicing
for the Gym Teacher of the Year...?
220
00:16:38,213 --> 00:16:41,082
No, because we're not entering.
221
00:16:41,582 --> 00:16:44,587
How about less flapping of the holes
and more slapping of the toes?
222
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,420
Oh, come on, Stewbags,
we have to go.
223
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:47,856
Yeah.
- Come on, Mr. Stewie.
224
00:16:48,356 --> 00:16:52,413
You're not even giving us a chance.
- Hey, what is it with you people?
225
00:16:52,913 --> 00:16:57,077
Can't your ears hear
what my mouth is saying?
226
00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:02,739
Sure, you'll work hard,
you'll get your hopes up...
227
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:07,064
and just when the world
is within our grasp...
228
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:11,614
we'll face-plant our dreams
against the side of a vaulting horse.
229
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,448
Maybe you're just protecting yourself.
230
00:17:14,948 --> 00:17:18,840
How dare you try
to derail my emotional rant with logic.
231
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:22,092
Look, Mr. Stewie, we don't care
about what happened in the past.
232
00:17:22,592 --> 00:17:24,959
I mean, you are the best gym teacher
that we've ever had.
233
00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:26,259
Right.
- Yeah.
234
00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:29,529
Come on, man.
- What do you say, Mr. Stewie?
235
00:17:30,029 --> 00:17:32,029
Pretty please?
236
00:17:44,432 --> 00:17:46,642
You wanna know what I say?
237
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:52,162
What do I say?
238
00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:56,858
You crazy, stupid kids.
239
00:17:57,358 --> 00:17:59,159
You wanna beat up
on those losers at Burberry?
240
00:17:59,659 --> 00:18:00,358
Yeah.
241
00:18:00,858 --> 00:18:03,500
You ready to work harder
than you've ever worked before?
242
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,036
Well, then cinch up those jockstraps
and tighten up the training bras...
243
00:18:07,536 --> 00:18:11,676
because we are entering
the Gym Teacher of the Year contest...
244
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,961
and we will rock that house.
245
00:18:17,064 --> 00:18:19,901
Qualifying round is in two weeks.
Hit the ropes.
246
00:18:20,401 --> 00:18:24,651
All right, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on.
247
00:18:47,161 --> 00:18:49,161
What are you?
248
00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:58,103
'Roland Waffle.'
249
00:19:01,175 --> 00:19:03,640
'Transfer from Dover Middle.'
250
00:19:06,113 --> 00:19:07,695
And what is that we have on our head?
251
00:19:08,195 --> 00:19:12,530
It's an exact replica
of the Galmerian space helmet?
252
00:19:12,998 --> 00:19:14,468
You can't be wearing it in my class.
253
00:19:14,968 --> 00:19:17,073
It's not regulation
for any sports that I know of.
254
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,777
But my mom says I have to wear it.
- Let's have the helmet.
255
00:19:21,277 --> 00:19:23,109
Nothing to fear here, Mr. Waffle.
256
00:19:23,609 --> 00:19:27,549
We don't do anything in class
that causes any head injuries.
257
00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:29,500
I'm not very good at gym.
258
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,386
What are your strengths?
- Geometry.
259
00:19:32,886 --> 00:19:35,946
Why don't we start with sit-ups, 50.
260
00:19:45,553 --> 00:19:48,204
Wear this for the first few days.
- Thank you.
261
00:19:48,704 --> 00:19:52,574
Coach, this loser's not coming with us
to the competition, is he?
262
00:19:53,074 --> 00:19:54,577
We'll get laughed out of the gym.
263
00:19:55,077 --> 00:19:56,747
All right,
I have to run out for one moment.
264
00:19:57,247 --> 00:20:00,987
I want the rest of you
to give me a few laps.
265
00:20:39,473 --> 00:20:41,473
Yes!
266
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:47,279
My goodness.
267
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,133
Are you okay?
268
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:54,535
Yeah, yeah,
just checking for door drafts.
269
00:20:55,035 --> 00:20:57,269
Gotta protect the health of the kids
during flu season.
270
00:20:57,769 --> 00:20:59,769
Isn't this gym period?
271
00:21:01,195 --> 00:21:02,479
Yes, it is.
272
00:21:02,979 --> 00:21:04,913
Now that this draft situation
is under control...
273
00:21:05,413 --> 00:21:08,936
I should get back to my class
before they pull a muscle.
274
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,587
Mr. Stewie,
there is something I'd like to...
275
00:21:12,087 --> 00:21:15,287
Well, I don't know if I'm running
a middle school or a cocktail party.
276
00:21:15,787 --> 00:21:20,207
You two can't seem
to keep your hands off each other.
277
00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:30,322
Door draft.
278
00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:33,209
Abby, I wanted to talk to you...
- Principal Hoffman.
279
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,380
Principal Hoffman, I wanted
to discuss with you this new student.
280
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,681
'Roland Waffle.' Okay, I'll start.
I've decided to take your advice...
281
00:21:41,181 --> 00:21:43,286
and enter the
Gym Teacher of the Year competition.
282
00:21:43,786 --> 00:21:46,423
I don't think he should compete...
- The rules simply state...
283
00:21:46,923 --> 00:21:49,459
that every student in your
eighth-grade class must compete.
284
00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:53,029
I know, I couldn't agree with you more.
But see the...
285
00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:55,997
I was hoping that maybe
we could bend the rules a little bit.
286
00:21:56,497 --> 00:21:57,763
Hope again.
- I'm sorry?
287
00:21:58,263 --> 00:22:01,101
I'll try to say this
in the plainest English I know. No.
288
00:22:01,601 --> 00:22:02,902
No?
- Lf you have a problem...
289
00:22:03,402 --> 00:22:05,638
with comprehension,
go ask the woman you were pawing.
290
00:22:06,138 --> 00:22:07,373
She teaches English, doesn't she?
291
00:22:07,873 --> 00:22:12,123
Why don't you stand up straight?
You look pathetic.
292
00:22:20,874 --> 00:22:23,934
Hey, guys, come on.
Okay, very funny.
293
00:22:34,588 --> 00:22:37,957
Someone wanna explain this game
to me? I don't recognize it.
294
00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:40,859
You okay?
- I've been better.
295
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:46,030
Derek, Champ,
I'll give you 10 seconds to untie him.
296
00:22:53,507 --> 00:22:56,482
What is the matter with you people?
297
00:22:58,178 --> 00:23:00,728
Go on, get to your next class.
298
00:23:01,248 --> 00:23:03,248
Now!
299
00:23:07,755 --> 00:23:10,170
How you feeling?
- I think my head's gonna pop.
300
00:23:10,670 --> 00:23:13,645
You'll be fine. Shake it off. Okay.
301
00:23:14,795 --> 00:23:17,286
So, Mr. Waffle...
302
00:23:18,932 --> 00:23:24,287
it would seem that destiny
has chosen our paths to collide here.
303
00:23:25,139 --> 00:23:27,688
As of now, you are a member
of Hamm Lake Fitness Team.
304
00:23:28,188 --> 00:23:30,188
But...
305
00:23:32,212 --> 00:23:33,058
No buts.
306
00:23:33,558 --> 00:23:36,464
Now, considering our time crunch,
we gotta get you in shape pronto.
307
00:23:36,964 --> 00:23:40,704
So why don't we start
with the climbing rope.
308
00:23:41,221 --> 00:23:42,539
Now come, Mr. Waffle.
309
00:23:43,039 --> 00:23:48,649
It's a simple twisted fiber
stretching nearly 30 feet into the sky.
310
00:23:48,707 --> 00:23:50,747
Nothing to be afraid of.
311
00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:53,165
Give it a shot.
312
00:23:54,234 --> 00:23:56,234
Faith, my boy, faith.
313
00:24:04,011 --> 00:24:06,901
Go to your next class, Mr. Waffle.
314
00:24:11,585 --> 00:24:14,583
Hello, Roland.
- Hey.
315
00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:17,970
So how's your second day going?
316
00:24:18,470 --> 00:24:21,870
You know,
just trying to get my bearings.
317
00:24:22,129 --> 00:24:24,795
Whoa, I love your backpack.
Did you draw that yourself?
318
00:24:25,295 --> 00:24:27,781
Yeah. It's supposed to be
an intergalactic space trekker.
319
00:24:28,281 --> 00:24:32,003
It's so cool.
- Thank you.
320
00:24:34,041 --> 00:24:37,271
Can I tell you something?
- Yeah, sure.
321
00:24:37,878 --> 00:24:41,041
Well, I think you're really cute.
322
00:24:42,015 --> 00:24:44,015
Thanks.
323
00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:52,874
I really think there might be
something wrong with this kid.
324
00:24:53,374 --> 00:24:55,411
He can't do one pushup.
- Not even a girly one?
325
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,779
Do you have any idea what this kid's
score is gonna do to my average?
326
00:24:59,279 --> 00:25:03,070
I'll be laughed out of the competition.
- Not if he gets kicked out of school.
327
00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:05,570
Excuse me?
328
00:25:06,073 --> 00:25:09,590
Darkburger is the name.
Mr. Darkburger.
329
00:25:10,090 --> 00:25:13,027
I used to teach
over at Grover Cleveland Elementary.
330
00:25:13,527 --> 00:25:16,065
Till they tossed me out.
- Why'd they do that?
331
00:25:16,565 --> 00:25:19,202
I added the noble sport of cockfighting
to the curriculum...
332
00:25:19,702 --> 00:25:22,762
and they called it gross negligence.
333
00:25:22,873 --> 00:25:25,773
Anyway, I had a similar problem.
334
00:25:26,273 --> 00:25:29,710
I had a kid in my class who just
wouldn't get with the program.
335
00:25:30,210 --> 00:25:31,977
You know what I mean?
- Not really.
336
00:25:32,477 --> 00:25:35,984
So I did what I had to do.
- What did you have to do?
337
00:25:36,484 --> 00:25:39,931
I got him expelled.
- Expelled?
338
00:25:42,442 --> 00:25:45,195
How'd you do that?
- It was easy.
339
00:25:45,695 --> 00:25:47,561
I just put these in his locker.
340
00:25:48,061 --> 00:25:50,296
Are those pirated movies?
- That's right.
341
00:25:50,796 --> 00:25:52,869
I got all the latest releases.
I download them.
342
00:25:53,369 --> 00:25:56,203
Anyway, a couple of these
show up in a kid's locker...
343
00:25:56,703 --> 00:25:58,674
enough to show clear intent to sell...
344
00:25:59,174 --> 00:26:02,941
and getting expelled
will be the least of his problems.
345
00:26:03,441 --> 00:26:06,649
Thank you, Mr. Darkburger.
That's very helpful.
346
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:08,684
But Dave is a gym teacher.
347
00:26:09,184 --> 00:26:13,859
He doesn't resort
to those kind of tactics. Right, Dave?
348
00:26:14,241 --> 00:26:17,493
Yes. Of course not.
349
00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:21,143
I'm a gym teacher.
I'm a gym teacher.
350
00:26:21,882 --> 00:26:23,882
Suit yourself, sport.
351
00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:25,765
But if you change your mind...
352
00:26:26,265 --> 00:26:28,371
I work at the Flip a Frog
down on the boardwalk.
353
00:26:28,871 --> 00:26:32,123
Just ask for a Triple Tadpole ticket.
354
00:26:36,163 --> 00:26:38,628
That guy's weird.
- You think?
355
00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:40,665
Cuckoo.
356
00:26:50,210 --> 00:26:52,207
Don't even think about it.
You can't do it.
357
00:26:52,707 --> 00:26:55,561
What are you talking about?
You have to do it, you have no choice.
358
00:26:56,061 --> 00:26:59,036
The kid's gonna cost you the award.
359
00:27:00,354 --> 00:27:02,354
Bruce.
360
00:27:03,624 --> 00:27:07,959
You've gotten the gold.
You've broken world records.
361
00:27:07,995 --> 00:27:10,122
Got great hair.
362
00:27:12,032 --> 00:27:14,242
Tell me, what should I do?
363
00:27:18,205 --> 00:27:21,038
So silent, so mysterious.
364
00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:26,077
I don't know.
365
00:27:28,415 --> 00:27:30,415
Dave, you can't do it.
366
00:27:30,464 --> 00:27:33,988
He's just a child.
It will ruin his life forever.
367
00:27:34,488 --> 00:27:36,171
You know, Dave,
I have to agree with him.
368
00:27:36,671 --> 00:27:38,173
It feels a little creepy.
369
00:27:38,673 --> 00:27:40,673
What do you guys know?
370
00:27:56,677 --> 00:27:57,590
Hey, hey, flip a frog.
371
00:27:58,090 --> 00:28:02,278
Hey, flip a frog,
win the lady a prize, only $2.
372
00:28:03,050 --> 00:28:05,177
Flip a frog.
373
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:10,077
One Triple Tadpole ticket, please.
374
00:28:30,644 --> 00:28:35,274
Juice boxes.
All that sugar. No wonder.
375
00:28:36,416 --> 00:28:39,385
Soccer balls.
- Mr. Stewie.
376
00:28:39,986 --> 00:28:42,069
Miss Bleeker.
- I've been hoping to catch you.
377
00:28:42,569 --> 00:28:45,107
I wanted to talk to you about...
- Now is not a good time.
378
00:28:45,607 --> 00:28:49,876
You're right. Certain people do seem
to be getting the wrong idea about us.
379
00:28:50,376 --> 00:28:52,755
It's sticky.
- Sticky?
380
00:28:53,533 --> 00:28:56,550
A sticky situation.
You and I talking alone in the hallway.
381
00:28:57,050 --> 00:28:59,773
I'm sure both of us don't want...
- Running down my leg.
382
00:29:00,273 --> 00:29:01,355
Excuse me?
383
00:29:01,855 --> 00:29:03,622
We should run out and get a bite to eat.
384
00:29:04,122 --> 00:29:06,008
To discuss whatever it is
you need to discuss.
385
00:29:06,508 --> 00:29:08,799
Okay. Tonight?
- Yes. Sounds urgent.
386
00:29:09,299 --> 00:29:12,132
Why wait until it's in the sneaker.
It's in the sneaker now.
387
00:29:12,632 --> 00:29:15,834
Yeah. I'm sorry.
Are we having the same conversation?
388
00:29:16,334 --> 00:29:19,071
Yup. Dinner tonight. Be there.
389
00:29:19,571 --> 00:29:25,387
Okay. Good, I guess.
Thank you, Mr. Stewie.
390
00:29:59,699 --> 00:30:02,350
Hey.
- Hey.
391
00:30:02,850 --> 00:30:06,675
Why aren't you taking the bus?
- I don't know.
392
00:30:06,886 --> 00:30:08,956
You know,
you don't have to worry about Derek.
393
00:30:09,456 --> 00:30:14,281
I know he's like 5 years older than us,
but he's clinically childlike.
394
00:30:14,781 --> 00:30:17,926
I'm not worried about Derek.
- Really?
395
00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:21,269
And why are you not on the bus?
396
00:30:21,769 --> 00:30:24,305
Because... Well, let's say...
397
00:30:24,805 --> 00:30:26,741
it's a much easier target
for the Galmerians...
398
00:30:27,241 --> 00:30:29,663
and their ion-based tracking device.
399
00:30:30,163 --> 00:30:33,045
That's crazy.
- Is it?
400
00:30:33,545 --> 00:30:36,450
Yeah. I mean,
the large yellow surface of the bus...
401
00:30:36,950 --> 00:30:38,886
would cause
cascading binary light switches...
402
00:30:39,386 --> 00:30:41,524
that would confuse
the Galmerian coordinates.
403
00:30:42,024 --> 00:30:43,322
How do you know that?
404
00:30:43,822 --> 00:30:47,993
Issue 26. Battle Station Galmerian:
Attack From Beyond the Nebula 7.
405
00:30:48,493 --> 00:30:51,128
You read that?
- More than once.
406
00:30:51,618 --> 00:30:55,748
Yeah, that was a good one.
- Yeah.
407
00:30:58,058 --> 00:31:02,393
Listen, I don't know
if you're not doing anything...
408
00:31:02,744 --> 00:31:04,611
but do you wanna come over
to my house later?
409
00:31:05,111 --> 00:31:07,582
I could show you my model
of the Treponian way station.
410
00:31:08,082 --> 00:31:10,207
That sounds fun.
- Really?
411
00:31:10,253 --> 00:31:12,253
No one else thinks so.
412
00:31:26,553 --> 00:31:30,503
What? Hey, I did what I had to do.
I'm just glad I never have to see...
413
00:31:31,003 --> 00:31:33,109
that bumbling misfit
ever again in my entire life.
414
00:31:33,609 --> 00:31:35,928
Now scram. I got a date.
415
00:31:47,207 --> 00:31:49,368
Hey, Mr. Stewie.
416
00:31:50,210 --> 00:31:52,210
Roland.
417
00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:56,543
What are you doing here?
- I live here.
418
00:31:57,617 --> 00:31:59,617
Hey.
419
00:31:59,853 --> 00:32:04,103
Do I seem flushed? I feel flushed.
- You seem fine.
420
00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:07,402
Good. Okay. Let's go. I feel flushed.
421
00:32:07,894 --> 00:32:09,611
I won't be out long.
Double lock the door.
422
00:32:10,111 --> 00:32:13,426
All right, I will. Bye, guys. Have fun.
423
00:32:18,838 --> 00:32:21,090
I never got the chance to tell you
Roland is my son.
424
00:32:21,590 --> 00:32:24,694
No, you didn't.
I mean, I may have figured it out...
425
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:26,959
but you two don't have
the same last names.
426
00:32:27,459 --> 00:32:28,761
Oh, yeah, he has his father's name.
427
00:32:29,261 --> 00:32:31,333
I wanted him to at least be able
to hold on to that.
428
00:32:31,833 --> 00:32:35,337
Good. That's great.
And where is Dad?
429
00:32:35,837 --> 00:32:38,852
Oh, he passed away five years ago.
430
00:32:40,694 --> 00:32:42,753
Fatherless too.
431
00:32:43,797 --> 00:32:47,962
Is something the matter?
- Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
432
00:32:48,668 --> 00:32:51,813
It's all just such a shock, you know?
433
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,753
I'm sorry. I thought you knew.
434
00:32:54,253 --> 00:32:56,826
Could we make a tiny little stop
before we hit the restaurant?
435
00:32:57,326 --> 00:32:58,326
It's right on the way.
- Sure.
436
00:32:58,826 --> 00:33:00,826
Okay. Great.
437
00:33:05,852 --> 00:33:07,434
What were you thinking?
This isn't you.
438
00:33:07,934 --> 00:33:10,072
This isn't what a gym teacher does.
439
00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:12,572
Busted!
440
00:33:13,259 --> 00:33:15,173
That's Roland Waffle's locker.
What are those?
441
00:33:15,673 --> 00:33:17,130
Illegal DVDs, but...
442
00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:21,965
Jesus. No, no. Watch my...
I wasn't putting them in.
443
00:33:22,081 --> 00:33:24,085
I was taking them out.
- How did they get in there?
444
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:25,772
I put them in there.
445
00:33:26,272 --> 00:33:28,889
Jeez, what is that thing?
- It's a Filipino fighting stick.
446
00:33:29,389 --> 00:33:30,757
That smarts.
What are you doing here?
447
00:33:31,257 --> 00:33:32,896
I'm the principal.
Why shouldn't I be here?
448
00:33:33,396 --> 00:33:35,228
It's after school.
- I wasn't following you.
449
00:33:35,728 --> 00:33:37,033
Are you following me?
450
00:33:37,533 --> 00:33:39,769
I know what you and your lady friend
have been up to.
451
00:33:40,269 --> 00:33:41,655
Look, Abby...
452
00:33:42,155 --> 00:33:45,454
No, no, wait! Your eyes. Your eyes.
453
00:33:46,092 --> 00:33:51,645
Your delicate, small,
rodent-like eyes.
454
00:33:52,145 --> 00:33:57,619
I know what this is about, Abby. I do.
And I feel the same way.
455
00:33:58,119 --> 00:34:00,487
But it never would have worked out
between us.
456
00:34:00,987 --> 00:34:04,557
You, the principal.
Me, just a gym teacher.
457
00:34:04,891 --> 00:34:08,180
I mean, we're from different worlds.
458
00:34:08,848 --> 00:34:10,999
You're a good one.
I can't stay mad at you forever.
459
00:34:11,499 --> 00:34:14,049
Go on, get out of here. Go on.
460
00:34:23,363 --> 00:34:27,018
I wonder what
the wood-shop teacher's up to.
461
00:34:34,274 --> 00:34:36,569
Everything okay?
- Oh, yeah.
462
00:34:36,722 --> 00:34:41,730
I thought I'd left a kickball
dangerously over-inflated.
463
00:34:42,230 --> 00:34:44,525
What happened to your face?
464
00:34:46,386 --> 00:34:48,386
It turns out I did.
465
00:34:48,788 --> 00:34:49,938
But that's all behind us now.
466
00:34:50,438 --> 00:34:54,261
So why don't we
grab something nutritious to eat, huh?
467
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,761
Those are my rockets.
468
00:34:56,830 --> 00:34:59,526
Impressive collection.
- Thanks.
469
00:35:02,335 --> 00:35:06,431
So those are my rockets.
470
00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:09,140
I saw them.
471
00:35:11,377 --> 00:35:13,377
So...
472
00:35:13,613 --> 00:35:15,911
What do you wanna do now?
473
00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:19,347
Well, I don't know.
474
00:35:20,019 --> 00:35:22,484
How about we get comfortable?
475
00:35:23,423 --> 00:35:25,423
Okay.
476
00:35:41,141 --> 00:35:43,989
Thanks for dinner. Do you always
have your food blended?
477
00:35:44,489 --> 00:35:47,549
No, not always.
Occasionally, I chew.
478
00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:49,927
Tell me about Roland.
479
00:35:50,427 --> 00:35:54,098
Oh, he's such a special kid.
Wonderful imagination.
480
00:35:54,598 --> 00:35:57,706
Not so coordinated.
I guess he takes after his father.
481
00:35:58,206 --> 00:36:00,206
Bless his soul.
482
00:36:00,426 --> 00:36:02,745
Do you mind me asking
how his father died?
483
00:36:03,245 --> 00:36:07,580
He was killed during a picnic.
- Oh, that's so rare.
484
00:36:07,912 --> 00:36:10,182
It was during the potato-sack race.
485
00:36:10,682 --> 00:36:14,689
Well, that's an unusual way to go.
- Yeah. Sorry, it's just so senseless.
486
00:36:15,189 --> 00:36:17,990
I mean, if a man can lose his life
hopping, is anything safe?
487
00:36:18,490 --> 00:36:22,159
Hey, gym teacher. Did you nail
that namby-pamby little kid yet?
488
00:36:22,659 --> 00:36:23,665
Do you know him?
- Nope.
489
00:36:24,165 --> 00:36:26,100
Seems like he knows you.
- I don't think he does.
490
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:31,360
How'd he know you're a gym teacher?
- Must be my posture.
491
00:36:37,230 --> 00:36:39,982
Do you remember what happened
at the end of issue 43?
492
00:36:40,482 --> 00:36:42,714
'The Princess From the Mirror Galaxy.'
493
00:36:43,214 --> 00:36:45,424
Oh, yeah. I love that one.
494
00:36:45,517 --> 00:36:47,718
Commander Guerto
has to return the Venuvian princess...
495
00:36:48,218 --> 00:36:50,191
to her own galaxy, she
can't breathe in the atmosphere.
496
00:36:50,691 --> 00:36:54,094
So he puts her in that electro-pod
and then he surprises her with...
497
00:36:54,594 --> 00:36:56,594
a kiss.
498
00:36:57,750 --> 00:36:59,535
Getting back to Roland,
he's very delicate.
499
00:37:00,035 --> 00:37:03,701
I don't like him taking any risks.
Simple calisthenics are fine...
500
00:37:04,201 --> 00:37:06,640
but no team sports,
no contact sports...
501
00:37:07,140 --> 00:37:09,976
nothing involving a ball,
and certainly no ropes.
502
00:37:10,476 --> 00:37:13,700
I don't want him climbing them,
jumping them or swinging from them.
503
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,750
You can't shelter him forever.
504
00:37:18,037 --> 00:37:22,542
I'd never forgive myself
if something happened to him.
505
00:37:22,942 --> 00:37:28,212
And now that you're his gym coach,
well, I'd never forgive you.
506
00:37:28,648 --> 00:37:31,617
So please, just promise me...
507
00:37:32,418 --> 00:37:36,869
you'll bend the rules just a little
so that he can participate in gym...
508
00:37:37,369 --> 00:37:40,004
without actually participating.
509
00:37:40,193 --> 00:37:42,998
Winnie, can I be honest with you?
510
00:37:44,831 --> 00:37:47,679
Since the day
I decided to become a gym teacher...
511
00:37:48,179 --> 00:37:50,252
I've dedicated myself
to a strict code of ethics.
512
00:37:50,752 --> 00:37:52,855
It's something I can't be swayed from.
- Please?
513
00:37:53,355 --> 00:37:55,355
I'll do it.
514
00:37:56,009 --> 00:37:58,009
Thank you, Dave.
515
00:38:02,715 --> 00:38:04,933
This turned out to be a great date.
516
00:38:05,433 --> 00:38:07,845
Date? This is a date?
- No.
517
00:38:08,421 --> 00:38:10,335
I thought we were just meeting
as colleagues.
518
00:38:10,835 --> 00:38:15,641
Yes. I meant the date.
The date, October 7th.
519
00:38:16,141 --> 00:38:17,780
I do that a lot.
People always mistake it...
520
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:22,591
Yeah.
- I just... You know, because I'll say:
521
00:38:23,102 --> 00:38:27,300
'I'm having a fine time on this date.'
522
00:38:28,675 --> 00:38:32,441
And so they think that,
but I meant this.
523
00:38:33,346 --> 00:38:34,793
Because I'm not ready to date.
- No.
524
00:38:35,293 --> 00:38:38,743
No. No, no, no.
525
00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:41,585
No.
526
00:38:44,791 --> 00:38:47,172
Maybe I should drive you home
so we can get up tomorrow.
527
00:38:47,672 --> 00:38:49,244
On tomorrow's date.
- Yeah.
528
00:38:49,744 --> 00:38:52,291
Okay. Good.
- Okay.
529
00:38:52,999 --> 00:38:55,582
Why don't we take the long way.
- Okay.
530
00:38:56,082 --> 00:38:58,586
Does the atmosphere
feel thin in here to you?
531
00:38:59,086 --> 00:39:00,920
Because it feels thin to me.
532
00:39:01,420 --> 00:39:05,075
You know,
being a Venuvian princess and all.
533
00:39:06,179 --> 00:39:09,842
Guess I'd better leave,
get in my pod.
534
00:39:10,383 --> 00:39:12,383
Forever.
535
00:39:13,986 --> 00:39:15,535
What do you think about that,
captain?
536
00:39:16,035 --> 00:39:18,035
Commander.
- Whatever.
537
00:39:21,728 --> 00:39:23,923
Good night, princess?
538
00:39:41,714 --> 00:39:43,932
See how I maneuver the board
around the saw blade...
539
00:39:44,432 --> 00:39:47,747
like a cat on a fence.
Still got all 10.
540
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,920
Hey, check that out.
541
00:39:50,356 --> 00:39:56,391
That doesn't look like a bookend.
- That's because it's a Roland Waffle.
542
00:40:05,071 --> 00:40:07,071
This is you now...
543
00:40:07,273 --> 00:40:09,457
and this
is what you're gonna look like...
544
00:40:09,957 --> 00:40:11,997
after the competition...
545
00:40:13,813 --> 00:40:17,374
if you blow this for us.
Got it, dork?
546
00:40:18,684 --> 00:40:21,065
That's just great. My one good eye.
547
00:40:21,565 --> 00:40:24,965
Why don't I have goggles on?
Why don't I?
548
00:40:26,926 --> 00:40:28,926
Dave Stewie.
549
00:40:30,430 --> 00:40:32,555
Who wants to know?
- I do.
550
00:40:32,580 --> 00:40:34,250
You a cop?
- Why would a cop be looking for you?
551
00:40:34,750 --> 00:40:36,183
Mistaken identity?
- I know who you are.
552
00:40:36,683 --> 00:40:39,788
Then you got me. I don't know
anything about pirated DVDs.
553
00:40:40,288 --> 00:40:42,925
I'm a reporter from the Daily Tabloid.
- I knew that.
554
00:40:43,425 --> 00:40:46,258
I'm doing a story about you and
the Gym Teacher of the Year contest.
555
00:40:46,758 --> 00:40:48,883
Why me?
- Are you kidding?
556
00:40:49,026 --> 00:40:51,999
This is one of the greatest
human-interest stories of the century.
557
00:40:52,499 --> 00:40:56,003
It's got everything: A young athlete
poised for fame and fortune...
558
00:40:56,503 --> 00:40:59,203
humiliating defeat,
20 years of humbling obscurity...
559
00:40:59,703 --> 00:41:01,344
and finally a chance
to redeem himself.
560
00:41:01,844 --> 00:41:04,176
Can he do it?
Can he rise to the challenge?
561
00:41:04,676 --> 00:41:07,845
Or will he just blow it again
and shrivel back into oblivion...
562
00:41:08,345 --> 00:41:10,937
dragging innocent schoolchildren
with him?
563
00:41:11,437 --> 00:41:13,437
No comment.
564
00:41:44,103 --> 00:41:46,103
Mr. Stewie?
565
00:41:50,910 --> 00:41:52,910
Mr. Stewie?
566
00:41:54,747 --> 00:41:57,079
Are you crying?
- No.
567
00:41:58,417 --> 00:42:01,978
Gym teachers don't cry.
It's allergies.
568
00:42:09,562 --> 00:42:14,534
What is it, Roland? Can't you see
that I'm busy having my life unravel?
569
00:42:15,034 --> 00:42:18,138
Well, the class
has been giving me a hard time.
570
00:42:18,638 --> 00:42:20,456
And I'm worried I'm gonna let them down.
571
00:42:20,956 --> 00:42:24,577
Well, you don't have to worry
about that, because the dream is over.
572
00:42:25,077 --> 00:42:27,694
Even I was able to summon
all my secret gym-teacher powers...
573
00:42:28,194 --> 00:42:32,359
and magically de-spaz you,
I still couldn't do it.
574
00:42:34,287 --> 00:42:37,590
Because I promised your mother
I wouldn't, so that's that.
575
00:42:38,090 --> 00:42:40,105
No. I'm tired of being afraid.
576
00:42:40,605 --> 00:42:44,090
I wanna compete.
I just wanna feel normal.
577
00:42:44,797 --> 00:42:47,178
Look, I know that I make it seem...
578
00:42:47,678 --> 00:42:50,252
like I wear this helmet
because my mom wants me to.
579
00:42:50,752 --> 00:42:54,553
But I'm beginning to think that
I'm the one who's afraid to take it off.
580
00:42:55,053 --> 00:42:59,048
Good speech, Roland,
but a promise is a promise.
581
00:43:02,748 --> 00:43:07,685
But what if you trained me
and my mother didn't find out?
582
00:43:10,590 --> 00:43:12,590
Me likey. Keep talking.
583
00:43:12,892 --> 00:43:16,578
Well, we could meet after school.
I'll tell my mom that I joined a club.
584
00:43:17,078 --> 00:43:19,479
And with your help,
I'll be just like all the other kids.
585
00:43:19,979 --> 00:43:21,414
Okay, let's take it easy there,
Roland.
586
00:43:21,914 --> 00:43:26,072
Why don't we strive for something
attainable, like less disturbed?
587
00:43:26,572 --> 00:43:28,572
Welcome to gym.
588
00:43:30,776 --> 00:43:33,562
Well, you and I will be meeting here
after school every day...
589
00:43:34,062 --> 00:43:36,164
until your middle name
is no longer Spazatron.
590
00:43:36,664 --> 00:43:37,997
Now, your mom thinks you're where?
591
00:43:38,497 --> 00:43:40,366
Bird-calling club.
- She went for that?
592
00:43:40,866 --> 00:43:42,370
She told me I'm not allowed to do hawks.
593
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:45,170
Perfect. We've got two days
until the qualifying round.
594
00:43:45,670 --> 00:43:47,506
So we've got our work cut out of us,
don't we?
595
00:43:48,006 --> 00:43:50,680
Why don't we start by getting and idea
of your athletic aptitude.
596
00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:53,113
Well, should I try
to climb the rope first?
597
00:43:53,613 --> 00:43:56,882
Why don't we start with something
a little less taxing, like, movement?
598
00:43:57,382 --> 00:43:59,718
Give me a lap.
- Okay.
599
00:44:00,218 --> 00:44:02,791
Wanna take off the helmet?
- I'd better keep it on for a while.
600
00:44:03,291 --> 00:44:06,606
Right. On your mark, get set,
be normal.
601
00:44:23,262 --> 00:44:25,262
How'd I do?
602
00:44:25,564 --> 00:44:27,046
At least now we've got our baseline.
603
00:44:27,546 --> 00:44:29,280
Okay, why don't we start
with the rope climb.
604
00:44:29,780 --> 00:44:32,600
Maybe your first attempt
was an aberration.
605
00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:35,100
Go at it.
606
00:44:40,780 --> 00:44:42,694
Excellent.
Why don't we give you a head start.
607
00:44:43,194 --> 00:44:45,194
One, two, three, up.
608
00:44:45,284 --> 00:44:48,598
And great. You're doing great, Rolo.
Clutch and release.
609
00:44:49,098 --> 00:44:49,935
Mr. Stewie?
- Yes, Roland.
610
00:44:50,435 --> 00:44:52,440
My arms are beginning
to pull out of their sockets.
611
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:57,564
I know you're terrified, but the only
thing you have to fear is... Winnie.
612
00:44:58,064 --> 00:45:00,064
Hey, wait...
613
00:45:00,533 --> 00:45:02,380
Hi. What are you doing out here
right now?
614
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,554
Hey. Well, I just saw you stand...
615
00:45:05,054 --> 00:45:06,987
Should that be hanging
where the kids have access?
616
00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:11,477
That menace, I'm getting rid of it.
That's what I'm doing out here.
617
00:45:11,977 --> 00:45:16,630
Well, I just saw you standing out here
and thought I'd come and say hello.
618
00:45:17,130 --> 00:45:19,130
Hello.
619
00:45:21,487 --> 00:45:24,457
Would you like to come to my house
for dinner on Friday night?
620
00:45:24,957 --> 00:45:26,957
What?
621
00:45:30,262 --> 00:45:32,472
Well, I got a new blender.
622
00:45:32,676 --> 00:45:36,671
And I know how
you like your food mulched and...
623
00:45:37,536 --> 00:45:39,536
No. See, that's not it.
624
00:45:39,686 --> 00:45:44,354
I was just thinking that maybe
it would be okay if it were a date?
625
00:45:44,854 --> 00:45:49,869
And not like a date on the calendar
date, but a 'date' date.
626
00:45:50,182 --> 00:45:52,222
I'd like that very much.
627
00:45:53,753 --> 00:45:54,936
What's that?
- What?
628
00:45:55,436 --> 00:45:57,668
What? Raccoons.
- Raccoons?
629
00:45:58,168 --> 00:46:01,608
Don't look them in the eye. They'll think
we're trash cans. I'm not a bad person.
630
00:46:02,108 --> 00:46:05,593
Oh, I know that, Mr. Stewie.
Gosh, I know.
631
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:11,640
Okay, I will see you on Friday night.
- Yeah.
632
00:46:12,271 --> 00:46:13,651
On our date.
- Our date.
633
00:46:14,151 --> 00:46:15,588
On Friday's date.
- That's right.
634
00:46:16,088 --> 00:46:18,088
Okay.
635
00:46:22,815 --> 00:46:26,415
Roland. Roland. Roland.
636
00:46:26,915 --> 00:46:29,582
Roland? Roland.
637
00:46:32,691 --> 00:46:35,028
Did you hear? Friday night dinner.
638
00:46:35,528 --> 00:46:38,145
I think I landed on a squirrel.
- Shake it off, shake it off.
639
00:46:38,645 --> 00:46:41,148
I wanna quit.
- What? We're making great progress.
640
00:46:41,648 --> 00:46:43,549
We are?
- No. But we've got two days to go.
641
00:46:44,049 --> 00:46:45,620
Let's just keep going.
- No, I wanna quit.
642
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:47,621
You just pushed me into a bush.
643
00:46:48,121 --> 00:46:53,561
I lost my head a little bit,
but from now on it's just you and...
644
00:47:00,252 --> 00:47:03,813
Roland. Roland.
645
00:47:44,663 --> 00:47:47,468
Okay. Gather round, gather round.
646
00:47:48,634 --> 00:47:51,420
This is the first step on our way
to the national finals, huh?
647
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,853
We know we're the best.
This is ours to lose.
648
00:47:54,353 --> 00:47:57,155
Why would we wanna lose?
- We don't wanna lose, Derek.
649
00:47:57,655 --> 00:48:00,593
The point is, we'd actually
have to try to lose in order to lose.
650
00:48:01,093 --> 00:48:03,563
Okay, why would we try to lose?
- Shut up, Derek.
651
00:48:04,063 --> 00:48:06,933
Now, I want you to know that
I know you're gonna do your best...
652
00:48:07,433 --> 00:48:10,336
and no matter what happens, I'm
proud of each and every one of you.
653
00:48:10,836 --> 00:48:13,205
And me and Rolo, we've been
up late into the night working.
654
00:48:13,705 --> 00:48:16,142
So I know that he's ready.
Right, Rolo?
655
00:48:16,642 --> 00:48:19,146
Okay.
- Mr. Stewie, can you come with me?
656
00:48:19,646 --> 00:48:22,350
Yeah. Stretch what's tight,
warm up what's cold.
657
00:48:22,850 --> 00:48:25,065
Good luck.
- Thanks.
658
00:48:40,686 --> 00:48:43,736
You better not blow this for us.
- All right? Don't screw it up.
659
00:48:44,236 --> 00:48:47,140
I'll do my best.
- He's gonna do his best.
660
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,442
Big deal, man. Even Morgan
runs circles around you.
661
00:48:50,942 --> 00:48:52,446
What's that supposed to mean,
chunkhead?
662
00:48:52,946 --> 00:48:54,400
What?
- What you said.
663
00:48:54,900 --> 00:48:57,652
I'm saying he's a boy, you're a girl...
- So?
664
00:48:58,152 --> 00:49:00,587
Morgan, I was just saying, he's a...
- Just shut up, Derek.
665
00:49:01,087 --> 00:49:03,465
Jeez, I was just saying...
666
00:49:06,211 --> 00:49:08,125
Heard a lot about your program.
It's topnotch.
667
00:49:08,625 --> 00:49:10,625
Thanks.
668
00:49:13,118 --> 00:49:15,609
Hey, guys. How's it going?
669
00:49:19,191 --> 00:49:22,761
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Shelly Bragg.
670
00:49:25,431 --> 00:49:28,601
Look, why don't we just bury the
hatchet, huh? May the best man win.
671
00:49:29,101 --> 00:49:32,161
The sight of you makes my butt itch.
672
00:49:34,473 --> 00:49:37,956
Okay, I get it. Trying to get in my head
with a little friendly trash-talking.
673
00:49:38,456 --> 00:49:41,158
I don't think you do get it,
Mr. Choky Chokerton.
674
00:49:41,658 --> 00:49:44,378
I find your lifestyle offensive.
675
00:49:44,861 --> 00:49:47,368
Now, I'm sure you can't wait
to shake your little patootie...
676
00:49:47,868 --> 00:49:50,303
on top of the main float
in the loser parade.
677
00:49:50,803 --> 00:49:53,605
But I'm gonna hit you
with everything I've got.
678
00:49:54,105 --> 00:49:56,105
Now do you get it?
679
00:49:57,496 --> 00:49:59,877
Sorry about that.
Welcome, gym teachers...
680
00:50:00,377 --> 00:50:04,712
to the National
Gym Teacher of the Year state final.
681
00:50:05,537 --> 00:50:07,384
Congratulations.
There's five activities.
682
00:50:07,884 --> 00:50:11,088
Each one testing a different aspect
of physical fitness.
683
00:50:11,588 --> 00:50:15,359
Every student has to compete and
nobody can compete in two events.
684
00:50:15,859 --> 00:50:18,230
Got it? We'll be starting off
with the chin-up bar.
685
00:50:18,730 --> 00:50:21,803
Then going on to the shuttle run,
tumbling, the calisthenics drill...
686
00:50:22,303 --> 00:50:24,169
and then, of course,
my favorite, the rope.
687
00:50:24,669 --> 00:50:27,540
Top three schools in the district
move on to the finals.
688
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,713
I'm excited. Are you guys excited?
Let's get started.
689
00:50:31,213 --> 00:50:33,213
That's kind of awkward.
690
00:50:34,967 --> 00:50:37,262
One, two, three!
- Burberry!
691
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:45,927
Rules are simple, go around
every cone and jump over the bars.
692
00:50:46,427 --> 00:50:48,429
Tag your partners.
Fastest team wins.
693
00:50:48,929 --> 00:50:52,244
Come on, Morgan.
You got it, you got it.
694
00:50:52,651 --> 00:50:54,132
Come on! Come on, go, go!
695
00:50:54,632 --> 00:50:56,632
Go, Burberry, go!
696
00:50:58,323 --> 00:51:02,020
Come on, go, go!
- Come on!
697
00:51:05,230 --> 00:51:06,548
Thirty-second limit on this one.
698
00:51:07,048 --> 00:51:11,553
One point for each time
that your chin passes the bar.
699
00:51:14,473 --> 00:51:17,703
Come on, Derek!
You can do it, come on!
700
00:51:18,911 --> 00:51:20,911
Go Hamm Lake!
701
00:51:22,481 --> 00:51:26,476
Let's go. Come on, let's do it.
- You can do it.
702
00:51:27,486 --> 00:51:29,486
It's all yours.
703
00:51:40,466 --> 00:51:42,466
Burberry!
704
00:51:48,740 --> 00:51:50,740
Let's go.
705
00:51:53,178 --> 00:51:55,059
All right, Hamm Lake,
let's go! Let's go!
706
00:51:55,559 --> 00:51:57,882
Come on, Champ! Go, go!
707
00:52:01,954 --> 00:52:03,954
Oh, man.
708
00:52:08,026 --> 00:52:10,153
Hamm Lake Hams!
709
00:52:16,535 --> 00:52:18,628
Burberry!
710
00:52:19,538 --> 00:52:23,258
Okay, onto our final event.
The rope is for three points.
711
00:52:23,758 --> 00:52:25,259
You get to the top and ring that bell...
712
00:52:25,759 --> 00:52:27,525
I'm gonna give you
five extra bonus points.
713
00:52:28,025 --> 00:52:30,349
All right? Burberry, Hamm, let's go.
714
00:52:30,849 --> 00:52:33,101
Come on, Ming. Go, Ming.
715
00:52:33,601 --> 00:52:38,014
Whoa, hasn't she participated
in the shuttle run?
716
00:52:39,892 --> 00:52:42,357
I don't remember it that way.
717
00:52:46,598 --> 00:52:49,080
Roland Waffle hasn't participated yet.
718
00:52:49,580 --> 00:52:51,580
Here he comes.
719
00:52:56,241 --> 00:52:58,241
Rolo, you're up.
- Yes.
720
00:53:01,980 --> 00:53:03,360
You're going down.
721
00:53:03,860 --> 00:53:04,831
Ready.
722
00:53:05,331 --> 00:53:06,631
Set.
723
00:53:07,131 --> 00:53:09,579
Go, go, go!
724
00:53:16,528 --> 00:53:18,653
Come on. Come on, Roland.
725
00:53:20,632 --> 00:53:21,849
Burn that baby! Get up!
726
00:53:22,349 --> 00:53:23,682
Come on.
- Get up higher.
727
00:53:24,182 --> 00:53:26,698
He's beating you by a lot.
728
00:53:27,472 --> 00:53:29,472
Go, go, go!
729
00:53:43,388 --> 00:53:45,437
You lose, Choker.
730
00:53:45,937 --> 00:53:49,082
On three. One, two, three!
- Burberry!
731
00:53:49,461 --> 00:53:51,544
Just hang in there.
I'll be with you all the way.
732
00:53:52,044 --> 00:53:54,084
I won't leave your side.
733
00:53:54,967 --> 00:54:00,067
Can I have your attention, please?
- See you at the hospital.
734
00:54:02,074 --> 00:54:06,154
Settle down.
We're about to announce the winners.
735
00:54:06,645 --> 00:54:09,796
The qualifying schools for
the Northeastern Region, District 12...
736
00:54:10,296 --> 00:54:12,296
are as follows:
737
00:54:13,452 --> 00:54:15,511
Burberry Prep.
738
00:54:20,792 --> 00:54:22,953
Ripperton Middle School.
739
00:54:24,863 --> 00:54:30,473
And finally, the last school
to be moving on to the nationals is...
740
00:54:34,773 --> 00:54:36,773
Colgate Catholic.
741
00:54:36,990 --> 00:54:38,990
Way to go, gang.
742
00:54:40,245 --> 00:54:42,828
If you didn't qualify,
it doesn't mean that you're a loser.
743
00:54:43,328 --> 00:54:45,765
It just means
that you're not a winner, so...
744
00:54:46,265 --> 00:54:48,265
Okay.
745
00:55:11,510 --> 00:55:13,510
Cheater!
746
00:55:16,581 --> 00:55:19,766
What? Are you kidding me?
His feet are sticky. So, what?
747
00:55:20,266 --> 00:55:21,402
They're sticky! I got a whistle.
748
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:24,539
Here's my whistle.
What do you think about this whistle?
749
00:55:25,039 --> 00:55:26,472
What do you think about that?
750
00:55:26,972 --> 00:55:29,352
Colgate cheaters.
- You suck.
751
00:55:32,531 --> 00:55:34,878
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
752
00:55:35,378 --> 00:55:40,988
I have never been so embarrassed
for a community in my entire life.
753
00:55:41,151 --> 00:55:43,151
Ladies and gentlemen.
754
00:55:43,289 --> 00:55:44,824
In light of the recent developments...
755
00:55:45,324 --> 00:55:47,125
I'm sad to announce
that Colgate Catholic...
756
00:55:47,625 --> 00:55:49,928
has been disqualified
from the competition.
757
00:55:50,428 --> 00:55:54,035
The school with the next highest score
that will be moving on to state finals is:
758
00:55:54,535 --> 00:55:56,535
Please, please, please.
759
00:55:58,190 --> 00:56:00,190
Hamm Lake.
760
00:56:06,031 --> 00:56:08,046
You may have squeaked through
this time, Choker.
761
00:56:08,546 --> 00:56:10,781
But no technicality's
gonna help you guys in the finals.
762
00:56:11,281 --> 00:56:12,454
All right, crew, let's move out.
763
00:56:12,954 --> 00:56:14,685
No shaking hands.
Failure's contagious.
764
00:56:15,185 --> 00:56:18,567
Burberry, Burberry, Burberry!
765
00:56:24,916 --> 00:56:28,587
I mean how hard is it
to hold on to a piece of rope?
766
00:56:29,087 --> 00:56:33,507
What a ridiculous mess of a little kid.
I ought to...
767
00:56:35,660 --> 00:56:40,791
I love that boy. Oh, doc.
768
00:56:41,666 --> 00:56:44,386
I didn't see you standing there.
769
00:56:44,569 --> 00:56:47,306
I was privately lamenting my own pain.
Is he gonna be okay?
770
00:56:47,806 --> 00:56:51,093
He'll recover. He's bruised some ribs,
I taped him up pretty good...
771
00:56:51,593 --> 00:56:54,730
but he won't be able to do
much physical activity for a while.
772
00:56:55,230 --> 00:56:57,816
I'm just happy
my little man is gonna live.
773
00:56:58,316 --> 00:57:00,467
He was never really
in any danger of dying.
774
00:57:00,967 --> 00:57:04,133
There he is. Excuse me.
Hey, I'll take over from here.
775
00:57:04,633 --> 00:57:07,652
Hey, how about ice cream?
Come on.
776
00:57:08,427 --> 00:57:09,908
We're gonna go get some ice cream.
777
00:57:10,408 --> 00:57:15,495
And just celebrate
the day we cheated death.
778
00:57:20,906 --> 00:57:23,966
So are we still going for ice cream?
779
00:57:27,145 --> 00:57:29,430
I'm sorry I screwed up.
- Look, it's not your fault.
780
00:57:29,930 --> 00:57:33,452
What was I thinking trying to make
something out of nothing.
781
00:57:33,952 --> 00:57:36,671
What am I, a miracle worker?
- I'll do better at the finals.
782
00:57:37,171 --> 00:57:39,572
No, no.
783
00:57:40,072 --> 00:57:45,342
You are not getting another
opportunity to embarrass me. Again.
784
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:49,482
Why are you stopping here?
785
00:57:49,982 --> 00:57:52,885
Well, not the best idea to have your
mother seeing us together. Right?
786
00:57:53,385 --> 00:57:54,251
But you're coming over.
787
00:57:54,751 --> 00:57:58,175
Come on, why would I do that?
- Dinner.
788
00:58:05,350 --> 00:58:07,067
Everything just tastes better
with garlic.
789
00:58:07,567 --> 00:58:11,437
Not only that, we don't get sick
nearly as often as we used to.
790
00:58:11,937 --> 00:58:13,007
Do we, honey?
791
00:58:13,507 --> 00:58:15,840
I wasn't sure
if you took your pasta blended too.
792
00:58:16,340 --> 00:58:18,041
No. Pasta, I blend in my mouth.
Thank you.
793
00:58:18,541 --> 00:58:21,133
Boy, this all looks delicious.
- Good. Scoot in, Roland.
794
00:58:21,633 --> 00:58:25,118
Come on, why are you sitting so far away?
795
00:58:25,303 --> 00:58:27,487
So Roland...
796
00:58:27,987 --> 00:58:30,687
is it strange for you
seeing your gym teacher out of class?
797
00:58:31,187 --> 00:58:32,489
Well...
- I don't know about him...
798
00:58:32,989 --> 00:58:35,529
but it sure is strange for me.
I barely recognize the boy.
799
00:58:36,029 --> 00:58:38,363
You sure he's your son?
Maybe he's an imposter.
800
00:58:38,863 --> 00:58:41,368
Let's see some ID.
Do little boys carry ID?
801
00:58:41,868 --> 00:58:44,770
This pasta's fantastic.
I haven't chewed in months.
802
00:58:45,270 --> 00:58:46,570
Well, I'm glad you like it.
803
00:58:47,070 --> 00:58:50,178
It's been a long time since I've cooked
for someone besides Roland and me.
804
00:58:50,678 --> 00:58:51,746
Have some bread.
- I'm fine.
805
00:58:52,246 --> 00:58:53,415
It's your favorite.
- No, thanks.
806
00:58:53,915 --> 00:58:55,415
I cooked it fresh for you.
- Okay.
807
00:58:55,915 --> 00:58:57,715
Know what else I made fresh
was the croutons.
808
00:58:58,215 --> 00:59:00,720
I have figured out the key
to the perfect crouton.
809
00:59:01,220 --> 00:59:05,388
It's all in the double roasting. You
do a little toast, add some olive oil.
810
00:59:05,888 --> 00:59:08,429
Perfect crunch.
- I'll say.
811
00:59:08,929 --> 00:59:10,531
So I'm not sure if you knew this...
812
00:59:11,031 --> 00:59:14,332
but Roland here has been taking
a bird-calling class after school.
813
00:59:14,832 --> 00:59:16,155
How would I know that?
814
00:59:16,655 --> 00:59:18,457
Come on, give us a call, Roland.
- No.
815
00:59:18,957 --> 00:59:21,209
No, no.
- Why?
816
00:59:21,709 --> 00:59:25,178
He may be so good that a thousand
birds will descend and steal our pasta.
817
00:59:25,678 --> 00:59:29,248
Haven't we learned anything
from Hitchcock?
818
00:59:29,568 --> 00:59:32,286
I'm sure he's not that good yet,
Mr. Stewie.
819
00:59:32,786 --> 00:59:35,506
Come on, Roland. Give us a call.
820
00:59:36,374 --> 00:59:39,036
Yeah, sure. Okay. I guess.
821
00:59:39,578 --> 00:59:44,083
This one is called
the blue and gold African Bohawkus.
822
00:59:55,427 --> 00:59:58,912
That was beautiful.
- That was unexpected.
823
00:59:59,998 --> 01:00:01,998
My little songbird...
824
01:00:02,701 --> 01:00:04,182
What? Are you okay?
Are you in pain?
825
01:00:04,682 --> 01:00:06,653
I saw a bird in the window.
- I saw it too.
826
01:00:07,153 --> 01:00:12,226
You silly little monkey.
Such a silly kid.
827
01:00:12,726 --> 01:00:13,957
Roland?
828
01:00:14,457 --> 01:00:15,928
He looks so tired.
829
01:00:16,428 --> 01:00:19,629
I really think we should call a doctor.
- Oh, no, no, I think he'll be fine.
830
01:00:20,129 --> 01:00:23,869
He's just going through
a lot of adjustments.
831
01:00:24,856 --> 01:00:26,856
Thanks, Dave.
832
01:00:28,493 --> 01:00:31,978
I'm gonna go get his soothing temple rub.
833
01:00:40,205 --> 01:00:41,354
Boy, do I owe you.
834
01:00:41,854 --> 01:00:44,323
I mean, you came through for us
with that bird call, huh?
835
01:00:44,823 --> 01:00:45,521
How did you do that?
836
01:00:46,021 --> 01:00:48,196
I learned one
just in case I got put on the spot.
837
01:00:48,696 --> 01:00:50,991
Good game, Rolo. Good game.
838
01:00:51,750 --> 01:00:53,775
Okay, well...
839
01:00:56,221 --> 01:00:57,269
Heal up.
840
01:00:57,769 --> 01:00:59,204
When are we gonna start training again?
841
01:00:59,704 --> 01:01:02,310
Wow, Rolo. I mean, your ribs.
842
01:01:02,810 --> 01:01:05,210
It's not like the floors
are gonna be getting any softer.
843
01:01:05,710 --> 01:01:09,479
And all this lying to your mom is giving
me pain in the pit of my stomach.
844
01:01:09,979 --> 01:01:13,486
I think that's called a conscience.
- Yeah, I was hoping it was indigestion.
845
01:01:13,986 --> 01:01:19,060
Look, you let the old ribs heal, and
when we come back from the finals...
846
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:24,064
come on by my office and I'll let you
stare at the trophy all you want, okay?
847
01:01:24,564 --> 01:01:26,941
But I wanna go with you.
848
01:01:27,852 --> 01:01:29,867
Bad idea.
- But I have to climb that rope.
849
01:01:30,367 --> 01:01:35,105
No. Very bad idea.
- Wait. Do you know what it's like...
850
01:01:35,605 --> 01:01:39,579
to have to live your life every day
a loser?
851
01:01:40,079 --> 01:01:43,224
Having people laugh behind your back?
852
01:01:43,568 --> 01:01:45,568
And then one day...
853
01:01:45,904 --> 01:01:51,092
after all the taunting
and the mocking and the ridicule...
854
01:01:51,592 --> 01:01:55,514
that loser finally has a chance
to turn everything around.
855
01:01:56,014 --> 01:02:00,678
You can understand that, right?
- It's not resonating.
856
01:02:01,252 --> 01:02:04,847
Just, please, give me that chance.
857
01:02:08,927 --> 01:02:10,927
You got it, Rolo.
858
01:02:14,032 --> 01:02:17,432
You don't own a cat, do you?
It's just...
859
01:02:17,936 --> 01:02:20,953
Mr. Stewie?
- Yes, Roland.
860
01:02:21,453 --> 01:02:25,188
I think I'm bleeding on my insides.
- We all are, a little bit.
861
01:02:25,688 --> 01:02:29,513
No, I mean, I think I really am.
I taste iron.
862
01:02:30,682 --> 01:02:33,412
Sweet dreams, little spaceman.
863
01:02:51,970 --> 01:02:55,040
Morning wind sprints?
- That helmeted dork has gotta go.
864
01:02:55,540 --> 01:02:57,989
He's a fellow student now.
He has the right to compete.
865
01:02:58,489 --> 01:03:01,549
Not if he gets kicked out of school.
866
01:03:01,846 --> 01:03:03,260
Pirated DVDs.
867
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,351
Throw a few of these suckers
in his locker...
868
01:03:06,851 --> 01:03:10,506
I'm shocked.
What a ridiculous idea that is.
869
01:03:11,003 --> 01:03:12,803
None of you
were the picture of coordination...
870
01:03:13,303 --> 01:03:14,909
when you stumbled into my gym.
871
01:03:15,409 --> 01:03:19,149
Now, what's important here
is we do our best.
872
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,360
Not winning.
873
01:03:21,413 --> 01:03:24,895
Really? Then what about this?
874
01:03:27,972 --> 01:03:29,318
This is not even me.
875
01:03:29,818 --> 01:03:31,791
I never said it was.
- Well, it's not.
876
01:03:32,291 --> 01:03:33,928
Look, guys, I know a lot of times...
877
01:03:34,428 --> 01:03:36,564
I make winning seem
more important than anything...
878
01:03:37,064 --> 01:03:41,059
and usually it is,
but maybe this time it isn't.
879
01:03:43,188 --> 01:03:47,183
Maybe this time,
what's important is friendship.
880
01:03:48,860 --> 01:03:51,545
Because Roland needs us.
And I know with your help and mine...
881
01:03:52,045 --> 01:03:54,700
we can win this thing
and we can feel good about it.
882
01:03:55,200 --> 01:03:57,716
You don't wanna be like those creeps
from Burberry, do you?
883
01:03:58,216 --> 01:04:01,956
That's not what we're about.
What do you say?
884
01:04:03,141 --> 01:04:05,141
All right.
- Sure.
885
01:04:07,045 --> 01:04:09,214
Just give me one crack at him.
- Derek.
886
01:04:09,714 --> 01:04:11,714
All right.
887
01:04:12,150 --> 01:04:16,769
Come here. Come here. You...
888
01:04:17,269 --> 01:04:22,199
I knew I could count on you guys.
Now get out of my office.
889
01:04:45,516 --> 01:04:48,864
Thattaboy. Come on, now. Hit it.
890
01:04:49,364 --> 01:04:55,318
Pull it! Pull. Pull. Pull.
891
01:05:05,203 --> 01:05:09,538
Keep your head up.
Up and down, come on. Keep going.
892
01:05:16,581 --> 01:05:18,581
Hey.
893
01:05:23,521 --> 01:05:25,521
I can't, I can't.
894
01:05:27,725 --> 01:05:29,725
Stop.
895
01:05:30,194 --> 01:05:32,194
Go.
896
01:05:34,098 --> 01:05:36,098
Stop.
897
01:05:37,568 --> 01:05:39,568
Go.
898
01:05:42,373 --> 01:05:44,373
Come on, Roland.
899
01:05:44,489 --> 01:05:48,059
Come on, baby.
- Keep going. You can do it.
900
01:05:48,292 --> 01:05:52,032
Come on, Roland.
- You're almost there. Yeah!
901
01:06:01,659 --> 01:06:02,504
He can't go.
902
01:06:03,004 --> 01:06:03,706
What?
- What?
903
01:06:04,206 --> 01:06:06,910
But we talked about this, Winnie.
- Yeah, the whole team's going.
904
01:06:07,410 --> 01:06:09,179
You don't want him
to be left out of this.
905
01:06:09,679 --> 01:06:14,609
No. The people in the world
and the traffic and the sharks.
906
01:06:15,173 --> 01:06:17,790
Okay. But the only way
I would possibly consider this...
907
01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:23,215
is because he's going to be with
you, and he's not participating, right?
908
01:06:23,715 --> 01:06:26,149
Tummy hurts.
- Are you okay?
909
01:06:26,918 --> 01:06:28,918
L...
910
01:06:29,654 --> 01:06:32,805
I'm just the team manager. I'll be
by Mr. Stewie's side the entire time.
911
01:06:33,305 --> 01:06:34,789
Safe.
912
01:06:35,289 --> 01:06:36,842
Okay, you can go. You can go.
- Yes.
913
01:06:37,342 --> 01:06:39,644
No talking to strangers.
Look before you cross the street.
914
01:06:40,144 --> 01:06:44,402
And if you see a pack of wild dogs,
remember, just hide until they're gone.
915
01:06:44,902 --> 01:06:47,877
I won't let anything happen to him.
916
01:06:48,272 --> 01:06:49,821
Good luck, Dave.
- Thanks.
917
01:06:50,321 --> 01:06:51,993
And just remember,
no matter what happens...
918
01:06:52,493 --> 01:06:54,426
you're still
Gym Teacher of the Year to me.
919
01:06:54,926 --> 01:06:57,839
Stewie's got a girlfriend.
920
01:06:58,483 --> 01:07:00,483
Shut up, Derek.
921
01:07:04,355 --> 01:07:05,437
I miss you.
922
01:07:05,937 --> 01:07:09,191
Let's go kick some butt.
- Bye.
923
01:07:13,931 --> 01:07:19,130
Bye. Seatbelt! Sit dow... Sit down.
924
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,264
This is it, boys and girls, huh?
925
01:07:31,764 --> 01:07:34,909
What we've worked so hard for.
- Yeah.
926
01:07:35,853 --> 01:07:37,853
Let's do it.
927
01:07:38,856 --> 01:07:39,870
Yeah.
- Yeah.
928
01:07:40,370 --> 01:07:43,387
Yeah.
- Yes.
929
01:07:51,369 --> 01:07:56,956
Okay, guys, this way. Come on, we'Il...
Just come on over here for a sec.
930
01:07:57,456 --> 01:08:02,386
Okay. So we're gonna...
- Look at this place. It's awesome.
931
01:08:07,785 --> 01:08:10,132
There sure are gonna be
a lot of people watching.
932
01:08:10,632 --> 01:08:11,435
Thousands.
933
01:08:11,935 --> 01:08:14,108
Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!
934
01:08:14,608 --> 01:08:17,053
Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!
935
01:08:20,631 --> 01:08:23,316
Back to the bus.
Everyone back to the bus.
936
01:08:23,816 --> 01:08:25,953
Well, if it isn't Chokels the Clown.
937
01:08:26,453 --> 01:08:29,407
What, are you looking
for the parking lot?
938
01:08:29,907 --> 01:08:33,817
Yeah, to board the bus
and drive it to victory.
939
01:08:34,745 --> 01:08:35,928
What's that supposed to mean?
940
01:08:36,428 --> 01:08:37,997
That's for me to know
and you to find out.
941
01:08:38,497 --> 01:08:41,472
Guys, I'm signing us up. Wait here.
942
01:08:41,586 --> 01:08:44,372
I gotta hand it to you, Stewie.
You never knew when to quit.
943
01:08:44,872 --> 01:08:47,069
Well, quitting isn't in my vocabulary,
Bragg.
944
01:08:47,569 --> 01:08:50,976
Well, I guess choking is.
- Hey, what is your problem, man?
945
01:08:51,476 --> 01:08:53,446
I'll tell you what my problem is, man.
946
01:08:53,946 --> 01:08:56,016
Twenty years ago,
you disgraced this country.
947
01:08:56,516 --> 01:08:58,652
Now you're a black mark
on the spirit of competition.
948
01:08:59,152 --> 01:09:01,688
And I'm gonna make sure
that nobody forgets that.
949
01:09:02,188 --> 01:09:03,975
Gentlemen, there's a line forming.
950
01:09:04,475 --> 01:09:06,909
After you, Chokey.
951
01:09:17,889 --> 01:09:19,889
My arm!
952
01:09:20,525 --> 01:09:22,525
Burberry!
953
01:09:22,843 --> 01:09:24,175
You're going down, dipwad.
954
01:09:24,675 --> 01:09:27,650
Shut up, Ming.
- Let me handle this.
955
01:09:28,933 --> 01:09:33,268
Get back in there. No, I got it.
Your hats are dumb.
956
01:09:34,939 --> 01:09:38,057
All right, Burberry, let's roll out.
On three. One, two, three. Hey!
957
01:09:38,557 --> 01:09:41,022
Burberry, Burberry, Burberry!
958
01:09:42,914 --> 01:09:44,914
Thank you.
959
01:09:47,718 --> 01:09:50,470
Get settled in your rooms
and we'll meet down in the restaurant.
960
01:09:50,970 --> 01:09:51,971
What are you gonna do, coach?
961
01:09:52,471 --> 01:09:54,406
Hit the bar and drown my panic
in a protein shake.
962
01:09:54,906 --> 01:09:56,544
You gonna be okay?
- I'm fine, stop asking.
963
01:09:57,044 --> 01:09:59,078
I'm a gym teacher.
Gym teachers are fine. I'm fine.
964
01:09:59,578 --> 01:10:02,500
But you don't seem fine.
- Go to your rooms.
965
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,083
Mr. Stewie?
- What is it, Roland?
966
01:10:05,583 --> 01:10:07,485
I'm nervous about tomorrow.
- Well, get in line.
967
01:10:07,985 --> 01:10:09,985
I wish my mom was here.
968
01:10:10,286 --> 01:10:11,988
You know as well as I do
that if she were...
969
01:10:12,488 --> 01:10:13,790
that means that you wouldn't be.
970
01:10:14,290 --> 01:10:16,295
If she knew you were competing,
you'd be home...
971
01:10:16,795 --> 01:10:18,432
and I'd be going to jail
for kidnapping.
972
01:10:18,932 --> 01:10:20,264
Why don't you relax in your room...
973
01:10:20,764 --> 01:10:24,249
while I introduce myself
to a banana mash.
974
01:10:32,163 --> 01:10:33,543
Hello.
975
01:10:34,043 --> 01:10:36,043
This is his mother.
976
01:10:37,101 --> 01:10:38,982
Consent form?
No, there must be some mistake.
977
01:10:39,482 --> 01:10:41,122
My son isn't competing.
He's team manager.
978
01:10:41,622 --> 01:10:42,886
I'm holding a registration form...
979
01:10:43,386 --> 01:10:45,358
filled out by his gym teacher,
Mr. Dave Stewie.
980
01:10:45,858 --> 01:10:47,360
We call to get parental consent...
981
01:10:47,860 --> 01:10:49,463
before tomorrow morning's competition.
982
01:10:49,963 --> 01:10:51,963
We wanna be covered.
983
01:10:52,065 --> 01:10:54,235
In case your child is involved
in any sudden mishap...
984
01:10:54,735 --> 01:10:59,580
resulting in loss of limbs,
severe facial disfigurement...
985
01:10:59,738 --> 01:11:02,821
Hello? Hello?
986
01:11:04,195 --> 01:11:07,653
Ming! Hang that up.
987
01:11:20,778 --> 01:11:23,303
Would you pass me that?
988
01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:31,445
Are you okay, Mr. Stewie?
989
01:11:31,722 --> 01:11:33,372
Because you hardly ate anything, so...
990
01:11:33,872 --> 01:11:35,727
I'm fine, Morgan, thank you.
991
01:11:36,227 --> 01:11:38,512
If you're not gonna finish that,
do you mind if l...?
992
01:11:39,012 --> 01:11:41,013
Did I say I was finished?
- You haven't touched it.
993
01:11:41,513 --> 01:11:44,247
Well, maybe I'm saving it for later,
did you ever think of that?
994
01:11:44,747 --> 01:11:47,935
Maybe I'm saving it for tomorrow.
995
01:11:48,472 --> 01:11:50,853
After I'm laughed out
of the gym-teacher business.
996
01:11:51,353 --> 01:11:52,492
Forced to wander the streets...
997
01:11:52,992 --> 01:11:55,460
picking up cans for nickels here
and nickels there.
998
01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:58,430
At least I'll be able to reach
into my pocket and go:
999
01:11:58,930 --> 01:12:05,279
'Boy, oh, boy, look at me.
I've still got a nutritious meal.'
1000
01:12:12,430 --> 01:12:14,430
I'm sorry.
1001
01:12:16,100 --> 01:12:19,968
A gym teacher's supposed to lead and...
1002
01:12:20,638 --> 01:12:24,718
I'm sorry,
I'm feeling the pressure a little bit.
1003
01:12:25,910 --> 01:12:27,757
Well, no matter what happens tomorrow...
1004
01:12:28,257 --> 01:12:31,657
we'll still be a team,
right, Mr. Stewie?
1005
01:12:34,652 --> 01:12:36,701
You said it, Roland.
1006
01:12:37,201 --> 01:12:40,091
We'll always be a team, huh, guys?
1007
01:12:40,391 --> 01:12:42,474
Hamm Lake Hams!
1008
01:12:42,974 --> 01:12:44,510
I don't know what it was booked under.
1009
01:12:45,010 --> 01:12:47,243
For all I know the reservation
was under 'Big Fat Liar.'
1010
01:12:47,743 --> 01:12:50,716
He's wearing sweatpants, a whistle,
and he has kidnapped my son.
1011
01:12:51,216 --> 01:12:53,216
Tummy ache.
1012
01:12:55,206 --> 01:12:57,756
How could you? You lied to me.
1013
01:12:58,188 --> 01:13:00,057
Roland, sweetie, are you okay?
How's your face?
1014
01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:02,730
I'm fine, l...
- I will have you brought up on charges.
1015
01:13:03,230 --> 01:13:06,462
Mom, it's okay. I'm fine.
- No, it is not okay.
1016
01:13:06,962 --> 01:13:08,433
Lucky for Roland I got a phone call...
1017
01:13:08,933 --> 01:13:11,038
telling me that he's registered
to compete?
1018
01:13:11,538 --> 01:13:12,769
You... But, Winnie...
1019
01:13:13,269 --> 01:13:16,309
Okay, I fudged the truth a little bit,
Winnie, but...
1020
01:13:16,809 --> 01:13:18,743
Winnie, he can do it.
You should see him.
1021
01:13:19,243 --> 01:13:22,748
I see him every day. I am his mother
and that is what mothers do.
1022
01:13:23,248 --> 01:13:25,385
No, you don't see him, Winnie.
He's strong.
1023
01:13:25,885 --> 01:13:27,285
And he's got me for a gym teacher.
1024
01:13:27,785 --> 01:13:30,891
Well, we'll just have to rectify that,
won't we?
1025
01:13:31,391 --> 01:13:32,844
Go.
1026
01:13:33,344 --> 01:13:35,369
Where's your helmet?
1027
01:13:38,449 --> 01:13:43,549
Probably would have been
a good idea to ask his mother first.
1028
01:13:47,458 --> 01:13:49,583
Are you even on the team?
1029
01:14:00,771 --> 01:14:04,008
We'll stay here tonight,
drive home in the morning.
1030
01:14:04,508 --> 01:14:08,069
Mom, please.
- I don't wanna hear a word.
1031
01:14:12,550 --> 01:14:13,564
Good morning, competitors.
1032
01:14:14,064 --> 01:14:17,719
Buses are now loading
at the lobby entrance.
1033
01:14:18,255 --> 01:14:20,465
Well, this is humiliating.
1034
01:14:20,724 --> 01:14:23,341
I knew something was up
when he wouldn't let me eat his food.
1035
01:14:23,841 --> 01:14:25,841
Shut up, Derek.
1036
01:14:27,465 --> 01:14:29,615
I wanna get out of here.
Where's Stewie?
1037
01:14:30,115 --> 01:14:32,800
I banged on his door. Nothing.
1038
01:14:33,838 --> 01:14:37,068
You guys wait here.
I'm gonna find him.
1039
01:14:43,547 --> 01:14:46,164
I still can't believe
you could lie to me.
1040
01:14:46,664 --> 01:14:48,932
Look, I'm sorry I lied to you, Mom.
I really am.
1041
01:14:49,432 --> 01:14:52,303
But I knew that you wouldn't let me
do it if I told you the truth.
1042
01:14:52,803 --> 01:14:55,206
I wouldn't let you do it
because it is dangerous for you...
1043
01:14:55,706 --> 01:14:58,874
to do things like that, Roland.
It's all so dangerous.
1044
01:14:59,374 --> 01:15:01,813
It's not dangerous, Mom,
it's just gym.
1045
01:15:02,313 --> 01:15:04,547
All kids do it and Mr. Stewie's
the first gym teacher...
1046
01:15:05,047 --> 01:15:07,338
who taught me that I could do it.
1047
01:15:07,838 --> 01:15:09,454
You've been scared ever since Dad died.
1048
01:15:09,954 --> 01:15:10,990
Scared of everything.
1049
01:15:11,490 --> 01:15:12,992
And you know what?
I was scared too.
1050
01:15:13,492 --> 01:15:19,442
But Mom, I'm not scared anymore.
Mr. Stewie taught me not to be scared.
1051
01:15:19,498 --> 01:15:23,663
He showed me that I could do it
and not be scared.
1052
01:15:24,054 --> 01:15:27,369
Mr. Stewie taught me
I could take the helmet off my head.
1053
01:15:27,869 --> 01:15:32,119
Maybe it's time
you took the helmet off your heart.
1054
01:15:37,601 --> 01:15:40,365
Regrets? Sure, I've had a few.
1055
01:15:42,006 --> 01:15:44,522
Being born,
that's probably numero uno.
1056
01:15:45,022 --> 01:15:47,627
You do realize those drinks
have nothing stronger in them...
1057
01:15:48,127 --> 01:15:49,695
than fruit and protein powder,
right?
1058
01:15:50,195 --> 01:15:53,935
How about
a little less... and a little more:
1059
01:15:54,184 --> 01:15:57,414
Mr. Stewie, there you are.
- Here I am.
1060
01:15:57,700 --> 01:15:59,805
We've been looking all over for you.
1061
01:16:00,305 --> 01:16:02,305
You found me.
1062
01:16:02,726 --> 01:16:04,726
We wanna go.
1063
01:16:06,830 --> 01:16:09,765
Banana mash. Try it.
1064
01:16:13,771 --> 01:16:17,187
How was your night, loser?
1065
01:16:17,687 --> 01:16:23,013
Loose lips sink ships.
- What are you talking about, Bragg?
1066
01:16:23,781 --> 01:16:27,568
Dragging a kid across state lines
without a parental-consent form?
1067
01:16:28,068 --> 01:16:29,866
Well, I couldn't let that slip by,
now could I?
1068
01:16:30,366 --> 01:16:35,381
I mean, what kind of a gym teacher
would I be if I did that?
1069
01:16:35,407 --> 01:16:36,639
Come on, Ming, let's roll out.
1070
01:16:37,139 --> 01:16:40,964
I got a Wheaties box
I need to get fitted for.
1071
01:16:52,643 --> 01:16:55,203
Dave.
- Winnie.
1072
01:16:55,946 --> 01:16:59,346
What are you doing back?
Look, I'm sorry.
1073
01:16:59,395 --> 01:17:01,034
I overreacted and...
- I didn't know how...
1074
01:17:01,534 --> 01:17:03,068
I've been so scared.
- I never meant to...
1075
01:17:03,568 --> 01:17:04,266
And here we are.
1076
01:17:04,766 --> 01:17:08,004
There's so much I have to say to you.
- There's so much I have to say to you.
1077
01:17:08,504 --> 01:17:09,542
You first.
- There's no time.
1078
01:17:10,042 --> 01:17:12,409
What do you mean?
- We have a contest to win.
1079
01:17:12,909 --> 01:17:15,611
The time. We'll never make it.
1080
01:17:16,111 --> 01:17:20,733
Dave Stewie, you can make it.
You are a gym teacher.
1081
01:17:25,476 --> 01:17:29,071
Hamm Lake Hams!
Come on, let's go.
1082
01:17:34,685 --> 01:17:37,336
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time to introduce our finalists...
1083
01:17:37,836 --> 01:17:43,276
in the first annual National
Gym Teacher of the Year Competition.
1084
01:17:59,443 --> 01:18:03,098
Please give a warm welcome
to our finalists.
1085
01:18:06,984 --> 01:18:09,331
And now
that all the schools have arrived...
1086
01:18:09,831 --> 01:18:15,186
I can finally, formally proclaim
that the competition has begun.
1087
01:18:30,874 --> 01:18:33,158
I am proud to introduce
today's head judge...
1088
01:18:33,658 --> 01:18:35,658
Wait!
1089
01:18:39,450 --> 01:18:42,000
We're here. Hamm Lake is here.
1090
01:18:42,419 --> 01:18:46,105
Hamm Lake is here.
- It's too late, you can't compete.
1091
01:18:46,605 --> 01:18:48,039
I've already blown the whistle.
- What?
1092
01:18:48,539 --> 01:18:51,875
The whistle, I already blew it. Surely
you understand, you're a gym teacher.
1093
01:18:52,375 --> 01:18:55,166
The whistle.
- Yeah, but we're here now.
1094
01:18:55,666 --> 01:18:58,002
Blow it again. You know you want to.
1095
01:18:58,502 --> 01:19:00,502
Blow it again?
1096
01:19:01,505 --> 01:19:03,885
I don't know. Can I do that?
1097
01:19:04,641 --> 01:19:07,258
You can't blow that.
Not again, that's a whistle.
1098
01:19:07,758 --> 01:19:09,458
I know it's a whistle.
- It's a whistle.
1099
01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:12,098
Doesn't that mean anything
to any of you people?
1100
01:19:12,598 --> 01:19:14,566
Stay out of this, Bragg.
Just blow it again.
1101
01:19:15,066 --> 01:19:16,433
But...
- Blow it again, please.
1102
01:19:16,933 --> 01:19:17,632
I just don't know.
1103
01:19:18,132 --> 01:19:20,139
Yeah, but once it's blown,
you can't blow it again.
1104
01:19:20,639 --> 01:19:23,541
That's like refrying beans.
- They can do that. Please.
1105
01:19:24,041 --> 01:19:26,809
What about the ramifications?
The precedent it would set?
1106
01:19:27,309 --> 01:19:31,384
Blow the whistle. Blow it again.
- Come on, blow it again.
1107
01:19:31,884 --> 01:19:35,029
Blow it again, you bum.
Blow it again.
1108
01:19:35,083 --> 01:19:37,257
Come on, blow it again.
- Blow it again.
1109
01:19:37,757 --> 01:19:40,456
Blow it again. Blow it again.
1110
01:19:40,956 --> 01:19:42,562
Blow it again. Blow it again.
1111
01:19:43,062 --> 01:19:45,930
Blow it again! Blow it again!
Blow it again!
1112
01:19:46,430 --> 01:19:50,085
Blow it again! Blow it again!
Blow it again!
1113
01:19:59,129 --> 01:20:01,393
Oh, the heck with it.
1114
01:20:10,941 --> 01:20:13,091
Hamm Lake Hams!
1115
01:20:13,591 --> 01:20:15,324
I'm proud to introduce
today's head judge...
1116
01:20:15,824 --> 01:20:18,763
one of the greatest
Olympic champions of all time:
1117
01:20:19,263 --> 01:20:23,610
The one, the only Bruce Jenner.
1118
01:20:33,297 --> 01:20:34,812
He's even more perfect in person.
1119
01:20:35,312 --> 01:20:37,522
Let's go, Bruce! Let's go!
1120
01:20:37,768 --> 01:20:41,295
Okay, guys, take a knee.
Take a knee.
1121
01:20:42,506 --> 01:20:45,421
Well, we had a bit of a rough night,
but we're here now.
1122
01:20:45,921 --> 01:20:48,726
So remember what I've taught you.
1123
01:20:49,062 --> 01:20:51,861
You can do anything you put your
mind to, each and every one of you.
1124
01:20:52,361 --> 01:20:54,996
You're stronger, you're faster.
1125
01:20:55,367 --> 01:20:58,556
And what's most important
is you're teammates.
1126
01:20:59,056 --> 01:21:00,807
So help each other out there.
1127
01:21:01,307 --> 01:21:02,240
Hamm Lake Hams!
1128
01:21:02,740 --> 01:21:06,140
Okay, go get them.
Roland, not you. Wait.
1129
01:21:07,564 --> 01:21:10,281
I know you want this as badly as I do.
1130
01:21:10,781 --> 01:21:12,906
You wanna know something?
1131
01:21:12,984 --> 01:21:18,309
Right now I can't think of anyone
I'd rather have on that rope than you.
1132
01:21:18,809 --> 01:21:19,654
Really?
1133
01:21:20,154 --> 01:21:22,357
Well, now I'm thinking
of a lot of alternative names...
1134
01:21:22,857 --> 01:21:25,850
but that's only because
you got me thinking about it.
1135
01:21:26,350 --> 01:21:27,501
Do your best.
- I think we're ready to go.
1136
01:21:28,001 --> 01:21:28,197
Do your best.
- I think we're ready to go.
1137
01:21:28,697 --> 01:21:33,182
Ladies and gentlemen,
let the games begin.
1138
01:21:45,936 --> 01:21:47,985
Very strong performance
in the chin-up event...
1139
01:21:48,485 --> 01:21:51,967
and the Long Horn Sharks
take the lead.
1140
01:21:53,677 --> 01:21:56,544
Go, Hanson,
show him what you got.
1141
01:22:01,985 --> 01:22:04,602
Big relay win
for the South Hill Bulldogs...
1142
01:22:05,102 --> 01:22:07,549
and they move ahead.
1143
01:22:16,500 --> 01:22:18,500
Solid jousting victory.
1144
01:22:18,785 --> 01:22:22,901
And the Burberry Bobcats
have seized the lead.
1145
01:22:30,948 --> 01:22:32,232
With that obstacle course win...
1146
01:22:32,732 --> 01:22:36,982
the Hamm Lake Hams
pulled into a tie with Burberry.
1147
01:22:39,156 --> 01:22:41,942
As the competition
enters the home stretch...
1148
01:22:42,442 --> 01:22:46,947
Burberry takes the lead
by four points over Hamm Lake.
1149
01:22:47,046 --> 01:22:50,617
Shelly Bragg, poised to take
Gym Teacher of the Year.
1150
01:22:51,117 --> 01:22:54,687
Only one competitor remains,
Roland Waffle.
1151
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:57,323
If he reaches the top of
the climbing rope and rings the bell...
1152
01:22:57,823 --> 01:23:00,792
Hamm Lake scores five points
and wins the competition.
1153
01:23:01,292 --> 01:23:04,329
If he fails,
Burberry will be the champion.
1154
01:23:04,829 --> 01:23:06,829
Okay, guys.
1155
01:23:07,351 --> 01:23:12,623
Every one of you has done a great job,
but it all comes down to this, huh?
1156
01:23:13,123 --> 01:23:17,968
We're a little behind.
This is the last event. This is it.
1157
01:23:18,095 --> 01:23:19,310
Roland, it's up to you.
1158
01:23:19,810 --> 01:23:23,210
We believe in you.
- You can do it, Rolo.
1159
01:23:24,001 --> 01:23:26,001
Derek?
1160
01:23:26,348 --> 01:23:27,605
Yeah, what they said.
1161
01:23:28,105 --> 01:23:30,105
Go get them, Rol.
1162
01:23:31,441 --> 01:23:34,416
Come on, Roland.
- Get them, Roland.
1163
01:23:34,678 --> 01:23:39,013
Roland, come on. You can do it.
We know it. Come on.
1164
01:23:43,253 --> 01:23:45,585
Come on, kid.
- Come on.
1165
01:23:47,724 --> 01:23:49,954
All right.
1166
01:23:51,261 --> 01:23:53,743
Roland, you okay?
- I'm pretty scared.
1167
01:23:54,243 --> 01:23:56,463
Okay, okay. Hey.
1168
01:23:58,969 --> 01:24:02,879
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
1169
01:24:06,343 --> 01:24:08,662
I want to.
- That's the answer I wanna hear.
1170
01:24:09,162 --> 01:24:12,743
You can do it. You can do it.
1171
01:24:22,859 --> 01:24:26,939
Climb that rope, Roland.
You can do it. Climb it.
1172
01:24:39,776 --> 01:24:41,776
Choker.
1173
01:24:48,018 --> 01:24:49,999
Roland, what's the matter?
- I can't do this.
1174
01:24:50,499 --> 01:24:51,902
What do you mean?
You have to do this.
1175
01:24:52,402 --> 01:24:54,338
You said if I didn't want to, I didn't...
- I lied.
1176
01:24:54,838 --> 01:24:59,938
That was a pep talk.
I say that to everyone. I don't mean it.
1177
01:25:00,230 --> 01:25:02,949
If you don't climb this rope right now,
the stink of failure...
1178
01:25:03,449 --> 01:25:05,647
will be hanging off you
the rest of the school year.
1179
01:25:06,147 --> 01:25:08,147
Do you want that?
1180
01:25:08,605 --> 01:25:10,605
Face your fears.
1181
01:25:11,441 --> 01:25:13,651
You're a hypocrite.
- What?
1182
01:25:14,092 --> 01:25:16,764
You want me to face my fears,
but you've been running from yours.
1183
01:25:17,264 --> 01:25:19,231
Who are you to tell me
about facing fears?
1184
01:25:19,731 --> 01:25:21,731
But the horse...
1185
01:25:22,452 --> 01:25:25,367
it's scary. I don't like...
- Come on, what's the hold-up here?
1186
01:25:25,867 --> 01:25:26,635
The horse.
1187
01:25:27,135 --> 01:25:29,174
Hey, guys.
Guys, is there a problem?
1188
01:25:29,674 --> 01:25:32,345
Come on, pacing.
We're losing the audience, ratings...
1189
01:25:32,845 --> 01:25:34,845
Bruce Jenner.
1190
01:25:35,665 --> 01:25:39,418
My whole life, you've been my hero.
Every night I've dreamt of meeting you.
1191
01:25:39,918 --> 01:25:41,785
Other things in the dream,
I don't wanna discuss.
1192
01:25:42,285 --> 01:25:44,688
But I'm in the middle of something.
So back off, Jenner.
1193
01:25:45,188 --> 01:25:49,013
Jeez, obviously,
you've never done television.
1194
01:25:49,092 --> 01:25:50,128
Come on, helmet boy.
1195
01:25:50,628 --> 01:25:53,300
You're right, I am a hypocrite.
I've been running my whole life.
1196
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:54,495
Come on.
1197
01:25:54,995 --> 01:25:57,367
Maybe it's time for both of us
to stop running.
1198
01:25:57,867 --> 01:25:59,303
What do you mean?
1199
01:25:59,803 --> 01:26:02,192
I think it's time
to vault over the horse of fear.
1200
01:26:02,692 --> 01:26:06,108
So you're gonna vault over the horse?
- I'm speaking metaphorically, Roland.
1201
01:26:06,608 --> 01:26:11,198
I'm not going anywhere
near that thing. Good luck, pal.
1202
01:26:12,536 --> 01:26:15,334
Hey, loser. Love the helmet.
1203
01:26:28,185 --> 01:26:30,480
We don't have all day, boy.
1204
01:26:30,666 --> 01:26:31,467
You can do it.
1205
01:26:31,967 --> 01:26:35,092
If you like it so much,
why don't you keep it.
1206
01:26:35,592 --> 01:26:37,592
Suck it up, Ming.
1207
01:26:43,667 --> 01:26:45,999
You can do it, Roland.
1208
01:26:52,242 --> 01:26:54,242
Come on, Roland.
1209
01:26:59,616 --> 01:27:01,709
Come on, Roland.
1210
01:27:09,759 --> 01:27:11,759
You can do it.
1211
01:27:15,632 --> 01:27:17,632
Come on, come on.
1212
01:27:26,910 --> 01:27:29,003
Hamm Lake wins.
1213
01:27:46,429 --> 01:27:48,556
We were so near.
1214
01:27:57,674 --> 01:28:00,224
On behalf of the National
Gym Teacher of the Year awards...
1215
01:28:00,724 --> 01:28:05,059
I would like to congratulate
our winners, Hamm Lake.
1216
01:28:06,983 --> 01:28:10,723
And the Gym Teacher of the Year,
Dave Stewie.
1217
01:28:10,831 --> 01:28:12,134
Congratulations on a job well done.
1218
01:28:12,634 --> 01:28:14,369
Now, for winning,
I would like to give you...
1219
01:28:14,869 --> 01:28:18,376
this ridiculously giant representation
of a check. Put it right down here.
1220
01:28:18,876 --> 01:28:20,876
And our winning trophy.
1221
01:28:21,311 --> 01:28:23,112
Congratulations, Dave,
you did a great job.
1222
01:28:23,612 --> 01:28:26,916
Thank you, Bruce.
And I'm sorry I got mad at you before.
1223
01:28:27,416 --> 01:28:29,353
Maybe we can go have coffee,
talk Olympics later.
1224
01:28:29,853 --> 01:28:32,828
I don't think so. I don't like you.
1225
01:28:32,942 --> 01:28:37,777
Thank you, Bruce Jenner
and thank you, Mr. President.
1226
01:28:38,448 --> 01:28:43,636
You know, as I always tell my kids...
1227
01:28:44,136 --> 01:28:46,638
you can't win without trying.
1228
01:28:47,138 --> 01:28:50,227
And when you do try,
you gotta try your best.
1229
01:28:50,727 --> 01:28:54,637
And that's where
a good gym teacher comes in...
1230
01:28:54,744 --> 01:28:56,382
to help these kids go for the gol...
1231
01:28:56,882 --> 01:29:00,352
Shut up.
Who doesn't remember 1988...
1232
01:29:00,852 --> 01:29:04,823
then this one man dashed the hopes
of an entire nation?
1233
01:29:05,323 --> 01:29:09,057
You discredit the word 'competition.'
You don't represent winning.
1234
01:29:09,557 --> 01:29:12,702
You are marked by shame and dishonor.
1235
01:29:12,732 --> 01:29:15,779
This man is an embarrassment.
1236
01:29:16,486 --> 01:29:20,718
Winning doesn't make a loser
a winner, you loser.
1237
01:29:22,459 --> 01:29:24,839
Face your fears, Mr. Stewie.
1238
01:29:35,505 --> 01:29:37,505
Come on.
1239
01:29:41,378 --> 01:29:43,378
Watch it, Stewie.
1240
01:29:43,680 --> 01:29:45,705
I'm a yellow belt.
1241
01:29:55,658 --> 01:29:57,241
I told you this man is a degenerate.
1242
01:29:57,741 --> 01:30:01,311
There are children here.
Somebody stop him.
1243
01:30:07,203 --> 01:30:11,755
Stewie! Stewie! Stewie!
1244
01:30:12,255 --> 01:30:14,259
Dave Stewie. Dave Stewie.
Dave Stewie.
1245
01:30:14,759 --> 01:30:16,092
Stewie! Stewie!
1246
01:30:16,592 --> 01:30:19,006
Stewie! Stewie! Stewie!
1247
01:30:44,441 --> 01:30:46,923
I did it. I actually did it.
- Stewie, you did it.
1248
01:30:47,423 --> 01:30:50,713
Hey, who's up for an x-ray, huh?
1249
01:30:51,247 --> 01:30:56,177
What a great day. I can't feel my feet.
- Okay, here we go.
1250
01:30:56,719 --> 01:30:59,552
I'm so proud of you guys.
1251
01:31:01,825 --> 01:31:05,996
All right, let's load up, Burberry.
On three. One, two, three. Burberry.
1252
01:31:06,496 --> 01:31:12,492
I think I shattered my arches.
We did it. We did it.
1253
01:31:15,805 --> 01:31:18,525
Hey, has anyone seen the trophy?
1254
01:31:34,924 --> 01:31:37,041
Hey, what are you guys doing,
playing in here...
1255
01:31:37,541 --> 01:31:39,510
unsupervised after school hours?
1256
01:31:40,010 --> 01:31:42,778
That's all I need is for people to realize
my job's unnecessary.
1257
01:31:43,278 --> 01:31:45,202
Roland was just showing us a great game.
1258
01:31:45,702 --> 01:31:49,206
Yeah, Galmerians versus the Ziggurats
in an intergalactic battle of doom.
1259
01:31:49,706 --> 01:31:51,586
Sounds ridiculous.
Guess what came out today?
1260
01:31:52,086 --> 01:31:54,126
What?
- New Wheaties box.
1261
01:31:54,210 --> 01:31:55,461
Way to go, Mr. Stewie.
1262
01:31:55,961 --> 01:32:00,041
And I personally think
it's better than Jenner's.
1263
01:32:11,561 --> 01:32:13,561
You put us all on?
1264
01:32:13,863 --> 01:32:15,732
Well, we're teammates, aren't we?
1265
01:32:16,232 --> 01:32:18,232
Yeah!
- Yeah!
1266
01:32:18,646 --> 01:32:20,652
So you got room for two new players?
1267
01:32:21,152 --> 01:32:23,986
No, no, I couldn't possibly...
- Oh, come on.
1268
01:32:24,486 --> 01:32:27,206
Yeah, come on, Mom.
- Well, okay.
1269
01:32:27,660 --> 01:32:29,660
Well, okay, let's play.
1270
01:32:30,313 --> 01:32:34,648
Time to pay the piper.
Time to pay the piper, Derek.
101690
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