Original subtitles

How long are we supposed to wait...

to feel comfortable with women having power?

How much time do we give people to adapt to change?

- I feel sick.

- [sighs] That's not a fever.

That's just a naturally hot head.

- Daddy. - Shush, mate.

I'll stick some frozen peas on his forehead.

- [retches]

- Luke, please wake up, babe.

He won't wake up.

- Could you please come with me, Mr. Worsley?

[footsteps running]

- Sorry. - Ooh!

- Luke Worsley.

- Are you looking for a patient?

- Yes, Luke Worsley.

He's in isolation in the Adams Ward.

Where's the Adams Ward?

[indistinct conversation]

- Hi, excuse me.

We're looking for Luke Worsley. - Luke Worsley.

- He's 7. Admitted earlier today.

We're told he's in an isolation ward up here.

- He was in there.

- [exhales sharply]

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

[phone rings]

What's happening?

- We're in an ambulance.

Luke's been transferred to the acute neurology unit

at Heddon Street Hospital.

They specialize in pediatric cases.

- Has he got worse?

- Yeah. He's developed these seizures.

- Oh, Jesus.

- He's having trouble recognizing things and people.

He didn't recognize me earlier. - Fucking hell.

- They're worried about encephalitis.

Listen, I shouldn't be on the phone in here, hon.

I'm sorry.

I will see you at Heddon Street.

- Come on.

You can lean on me, honey.

I'll support you.

Oops. Tight squeeze.

[siren blaring]

[equipment beeping]

- What's wrong? Is he--

- I'm just trying to stabilize him.

- Okay, yeah.

- What did he say, Paul?

- What does he say?

- What does who say?

- Come on--him. Captain Piss Stick.

- Oh. Well--

[laughs]

Captain Piss Stick...

he says...

We're gonna have a baby!

- No. - Yes.

- Big, hairy Christ. - Huge, hairy Christ.

- Digby, the hairiest Christ in the world.

We've made a baby.

- Well, no.

We've made a collection of cells

that have the potential to become a baby.

Yeah.

- I mean, are you sure you want this?

'Cause I realize it's mainly been me

who's talked about having kids.

- Well, I better fucking want it,

'cause I am the one who is gonna get sick

and eat burnt toast.

- Mm.

- And not sleep

and, like, have tits the size of fucking Space Hoppers,

and then suffer the most horrific pain

a human being can stand.

- Can we still...

- Oh. Mm... no, sorry.

'Cause then we'll end up having twins

that look like your cock.

Blah. - Well...

- To be honest, I'd get it while you can, mate,

because there's gonna be precious little of this

happening for the next few years.

- Message received, Skipper.

- [laughs]

- I'm coming in.

Fucking hell. - I know!

Hi.

- Hey. Come here.

Come here.

Luke's having an MRI.

- Oh, okay.

- I'll take you to see his main consultant in a bit.

She can tell you everything she's told me.

- Paul, is Luke gonna die?

- I don't know.

They're just trying to keep him stable at the moment.

Stop the seizures.

I'm so sorry, Ally. This is my fault.

- No, it's not. I was away, so--

- Well, you have to be away for your work.

- Yeah, and you did ask me to stay away this weekend.

- Well, because your work was disrupting them.

- My work. - Yeah, it's your work, hon.

- It's for us though, Paul.

I am doing all of this for us.

- No, I know.

- Where's Ava?

- You like egg on toast?

Because that's all I can cook.

I can't do pasta.

Don't understand it.

It needs to be soft and hard at the same time?

Shove off.

It's just boiled dough, and the idiots go mad for it.

Sausages I'm not bad at.

But there's none in.

- I like nuggets.

- I wouldn't know what a nugget was, I'm afraid, love.

So let's have fried eggs, eh?

Great, thick doorsteps of toast.

Loads of brown sauce.

- I want nuggets!

- You'll have what you're given.

We still had rationing when I was your age.

Three ounces of cheese a week.

A shilling's worth of meat.

We've never been healthier as a nation.

Or hungrier, or more miserable.

So fried eggs?

[exhales]

- Oh.

- Hi. - Sorry.

Sorry, that was a rude "oh."

I've just been thinking about this as my smoking spot

the last couple of days.

Didn't think anyone else knew about it.

- Well, I can go somewhere else.

- No, no, stay.

- Kay.

- Are you...

- Yeah, my son's in pediatric ANU.

- Right. Mine's in pediatric cardiology.

- Mm.

- We don't need to ask each other how they are?

'Cause obviously they're both quite ill.

- Yeah. Uh, here.

We're waiting for the results of Luke's MRI.

They're worried about encephalitis.

- My Matt's just gone into surgery.

Atrioventricular septal defect.

Hole in his heart.

To repair the hole, they need to stop his heart.

And, it turns out, mine.

- Scary, innit?

How old is Matt?

- 7. - Same as Luke.

- It's a long op. - Hmm.

- All we can do now is trust the surgeons and pray.

- I was saying earlier, I've been praying.

Don't know who to,

'cause I've got no, well, religion,

but I've definitely been praying to this being,

this vague shape of a being.

And I've just realized who it is.

- Who?

- Bowie. - David Bowie?

- Yeah. [both laugh]

- That's so... - I don't know.

- The last couple of days, I've found it helps

to think back to specific moments with Matt.

Not significant ones particularly,

not first steps or first words.

Mundane moments around the house,

doing crayon drawings in the kitchen

or eating pasta bake.

- I--yeah.

- And I relive those moments over again,

and it helps.

- That's useful. Thank you.

- Just random moments replayed.

- What the fuck have you done now?

- It jumped out of my hand.

[toothbrush buzzing]

- Open the fucking door, Luke.

[sighs]

You're a waste of space, mate.

[door slamming]

[phone dings]

Mm.

They need to show us Luke's scan.

Gotta go.

Good luck. - Thank you.

- Luke's been intubated and sedated,

but his seizures aren't stopping,

and the pressure on his brain isn't decreasing.

So we'd like to place him

into a pentobarbital-induced coma.

- No. No.

- Just for two or three days to reduce the swelling

caused by the encephalitis.

- What are the risks with that?

- They can be substantial.

Respiratory depression,

liver dysfunction, kidney dysfunction,

and an increased risk of cardiac arrhythmias.

- I won't. I won't let them do it.

I won't let you do it.

- Honey.

- [softly sobbing]

- What if we say no?

- The type of encephalitis Luke has

carries a mortality rate of about 30%.

Because of the brain swelling,

the skull can push down onto the brain stem,

which affects breathing and circulation.

- Could we have five minutes to talk about it?

- Of course. - Right.

Just to be clear,

the extent of the swelling

is what we can see on the scan here?

- He's got a big head, hasn't he?

- We don't know if it's a boy yet.

- It had better bloody be, head that size.

No, big-headed women have a tough time.

Wedding hats and so on.

- I was convinced Paul was gonna be a girl.

Yep, convinced. 100%.

Instinct, intuition, whatever you call it.

I bought all pink things, little dresses,

and then out he pops with his little prawn.

- More like a Morgan Bay shrimp.

- Can you not penis-shame me as a baby please?

You actually do this quite a lot,

and it's just--it's just weird.

Baby boys have small penises.

A baby boy with a huge, adult penis,

then you'd have to worry.

- We didn't have any boys' names ready

'cause I had chosen all girls' names.

Paula, Pauline--

- Hang on, I think I can see where this is headed.

- No idea.

- Anyway-- [both laugh]

Congratulations.

- We didn't wanna tell you before 12 weeks.

- No, 'cause so much can go wrong.

- Yeah. - But it's all gonna go right.

- Can you pay extra for color?

Or are these all in black and white?

- I think she's right. - No.

- Ally, he could die. - Okay, then fine, fine.

You do it. You put him into this coma.

Go ahead.

- Don't you fucking dare put this on me.

This has to be our decision, both of us.

- A coma, Paul? - Yeah, I know.

- Deliberately putting our baby boy into a coma.

- I know. I know.

But it could save his life, right?

So I think we have to take the risk.

- Mummy!

- Hi! - Hey, darling.

- Hey, darling. - Sorry.

He's brought her back.

- We had a set-to about nuggets,

and it all went wrong.

She wants to see you.

She wants to see Luke.

I couldn't hit her, so I just did what you said.

- Where's Luke?

- Luke is...

about to have a bit of a sleep, darling.

So you can see him after.

- I'll tell Dr. Webb.

- I don't even know what a bloody nugget is.

- We saw your mum downstairs.

She'll be up in a minute.

She was just buying co-codamol and a protein bar.

What is happening with Luke?

- Baby.

They are putting him into a coma.

- Putting him into one?

Aren't they meant to get you out of them?

- They're doctors, Jim. They know what they're doing.

- Well, I hope so.

Mum. - Come here.

- What is a nugget then?

- Do you remember Birds Eye cod balls?

- Yeah.

- It's like that, but chicken.

- Oh. God.

Okay.

They sound fantastic.

- So now, let's just remind ourselves about pain relief.

Hmm?

Now, we've chatted about gas and air.

You'd like some of that, wouldn't you, Robert?

- Well, it sounds like it could--

- And we've talked about TENS machines and water births,

but do you know one aspect of pain relief in labor

that people don't tend to talk about?

No?

[moaning dramatically]

[moaning dramatically]

I was making a noise. - No shit.

- Now, when we make these kind of animal noises,

we release oxytocin and endorphins,

and we relieve our pain.

All right. On all fours please, ladies.

Let's do that.

That's it. Okay, down we go.

And...

[moaning dramatically]

[women moaning dramatically]

- [moaning dramatically]

- Good. Right, let me hear those moans.

- [moaning dramatically]

[laughs]

- Good, good.

Right, partners, let's have some solidarity please.

I want you all to join in, so on your knees.

And...

[all moaning dramatically]

Come on, and you, Mr. Odd One Out.

Down you go.

Hands and knees.

Good.

[all moaning dramatically]

- [moans dramatically]

[both laugh]

- Can you stop fucking laughing?

- I'm so sorry.

It's just if your worst enemy

wanted to devise a torture you'd hate the most,

it would've been that.

- Yeah, I know, hon, I know.

- Your little face! [laughs]

- Christ.

Do you think that's her sex noise?

- That, but louder. - Mm.

- Hey.

I am very, very happy

that I'm having a baby with you.

- And I'm really happy

that I'm having a baby with you.

[moans] - [laughs]

- [moans] - See, it's fun!

- It's all right, innit? - Yeah.

- [moans] - That's really good!

[laughs]

[machines beeping]

- [lightly snoring]

- Dad.

You should go home. Get some sleep.

- No, I'm fine.

I wanna feel like I'm useful.

Do you want anything from the snack machine?

- No, no. God no, thanks.

I'm already half man, half Mini Cheddars.

[chuckles]

I met this woman outside when I was smoking.

- Right.

- We were weirdly flirty

given that our children are both seriously ill.

- Human beings are complicated.

You forget I used to work in an off-license.

- Well, how's this for a complication?

For a minute, I wished her son would die.

- You what?

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, he's having open heart surgery,

and just for a minute, I wished he would die.

- Why?

- Because I thought that,

you know, if one of our children has to die

to appease the gods

or to be punished for some sin or whatever,

I'd rather it was her son and not mine.

- That's not how it works, Paul.

We're not fucking Aztecs. - Mm-hmm.

But it's where this stuff takes you.

- Christ almighty.

I'm gonna get some chocolate.

- Hey, Bowie?

If you're listening, I'm gonna ask this one more time.

If you let Luke live and recover,

no complications, I promise you,

I'm gonna be the best dad in history.

I won't shout.

I won't rage.

I won't swear.

I mean that.

I fucking mean it.

Please, please, Bowie.

Do what you can.

Thank you.

And "Hunky Dory" is possibly the best album ever made.

- Talking to yourself?

- Probably.

[somber music]

*

- Hey. - Hey.

- You all right? - Yeah.

Listen, I couldn't sleep

in the gaps between Luke's feeds,

so I just thought I'd get up.

- Don't be angry with Luke. - I'm not.

- His first night at home.

- Hon, I know.

- Is that weed? - No.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not.

It's hash and tobacco.

- Since when did you smoke dope?

- Since a couple of weeks ago,

when I fully realized I was gonna be a father.

- Mm.

- Hmm?

- I'm breastfeeding. - Sorry, of course.

- One of us needs to not be stoned.

- I'm not stoned.

Tiny bit of resin in there.

It's like having half a shandy.

I just needed to...

- Nah, I get it.

*

[sighs]

This is it, isn't it? - Yep.

- [chuckles]

- Never properly at peace ever again.

- You don't really realize it, do you,

until he's at home with you?

*

- It's wonderful, isn't it?

- It's sort of magical.

- When you're handed this gift,

and at the same time, it's a curse

'cause you suddenly have the possibility

that the worst thing in the world

could happen to you.

*

- We'll keep him alive, Paul.

I guarantee that we will keep Luke alive.

- Hmm.

*

[baby crying]

- Oh, he's hungry.

*

[machines beeping]

- He's hungry. That's a good sign.

- You say he still has quite a bit of dizziness?

- Yes, we'll keep him in a couple more days

to monitor him,

but he looks like he'll be able

to continue his recovery at home.

- Christ.

Thank you so much for everything.

- Luke's been very lucky.

He's avoided the complications

that often come with this kind of inflammation.

- We have been hoping and praying

very, very hard for this.

- Well, whoever you were praying to

came through for you.

- [sighs]

- Darren, hi! You got my text.

- I did. Such brilliant news about Luke.

You must be so relieved.

Wondered whether I might say hi to him.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

It's still no visitors outside family.

- Right. Okay.

- I'm sorry, you've come all this way.

- No, no, don't worry. I'm here with Karen anyway.

- Oh. Is she--

- Oh, there's nothing wrong with her.

In fact, it's the opposite. She's...

she's pregnant with twins.

- Oh, my God, Darren! That is amazing news!

- I know!

The balls have finally done their job.

- Well done, your balls. Your excellent balls.

- Thank you. - [laughs]

I'm so pleased for you.

- Karen's in and out for monitoring,

which is the IVF way.

- Yeah.

- I didn't wanna tell you our news

until you were sure that Luke was, you know...

- Oh, that's-- I really appreciate that.

And I know that we should talk about Berlin

at some point too.

- Yes. - Yeah.

- We should.

Nick's sort of holding the fort out there,

but he's not you.

- No, no, I know, but obviously,

with Luke, I can't guarantee--

- Well, let's not talk about it now,

but we should talk about it very soon.

I'll get back to Karen and the fetuses.

- Kay. [laughs]

Go, your balls!

- Yay. Go, my balls!

Sorry.

- Give me Giraffe! - No, you can't have it!

Luke: Mine! - Can you get me pepper?

Ava: Give it to me! - Hmm?

Yeah. Luke: I don't want to!

Luke: Because it's mine! Ava: It's mine!

- Hey, do you fancy eating out one night soon?

- Yeah, great. That'd be nice.

- Hmm. - Thanks.

- We haven't really left Luke alone with anyone else since--

- Yeah, I know.

We'll have to get used to that, 'cause school gets back soon.

- Yeah, yeah. - And I need to...

- Go back to Berlin? Ava: It's mine!

Luke: No! No!

- I do have to go back, Paul, like, soon.

- Sure. No, I know.

- Because if the Berlin office fails,

then the whole company collapses.

Like, UK operation as well.

- No, absolutely. I totally get it.

Yeah.

[kids shouting]

- And you'll wanna take

that think tank job Daniel offered you?

- Well, yeah, I'm not sure I can now

if you have to be heading back.

- Yeah, but do you want to take it?

- Yeah, of course I wanna take it.

It's exciting,

and I haven't been excited by anything at work

since the Ronaldo and bird flu era.

[kids shouting]

- So.

- So.

[kids shouting]

- Mum thinks that all this has the potential to ruin us.

- Well, yeah, it could.

But it won't. - 'Cause we're solid, right?

- No, we're not solid. - What?

- I think that's a good thing, though.

We're bendy.

Solid things get knocked over and bendy things don't.

- We're good.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah, of course we're good. - Good.

[kids screaming]

Good, 'cause I mean, after all we've been through, I just--

I don't think I could bear-- - Jesus Christ!

Just give her the fucking giraffe,

you spiteful little prick!

- Okay, Paul. How can I help you?

- I think I might have some anger issues

regarding my children.

[upbeat music]

*

COLIN: They had come highly recommended

by a mutual vampire associate of ours,

but nevertheless, I found it prudent

-to run the traditional credit checks... -(yawns)

...and reference protocols.

Suffice it to say, I am part of the 33%

who find it necessary to utilize my complementary credit check

every year.

(snoring)

(hisses)

(up-tempo music plays)

(laughing)

(squeaking)

Aren't you Lil Dicky?

* Yes, I know That I'm a rapper *

-* At the end of the day * -(gasping)

* But I think It's time you knew me By my government name *

-* Hi, I'm Dave * -ANNOUNCER: Dave.

All-new Wednesday at 10:00 on FXX.

And next day, FX on Hulu.

Whoa!

How bad is it for the environment?

-Really bad. -(groans)

-Mom, this car doesn't fit all of us. -I know.

Oof. Do we look alike?

-Are our gabilas the same? -My God, Mom!

(snickers) Ooh!

-(howling) -I see what's on the other side.

(laughing)

Welcome to my midlife crisis!

(birds chirping)

Hi.

MAN: This is your station.

But what am I actually doing here?

I'm not gonna tell you.

Don't worry. You're gonna figure it out.