Original subtitles

[Muzak playing]

"Total protection from the sun."

[up-tempo folk music]

-VOCALIST: Hey! -[bat squeaks]

[Barbara Acklin's "Am I the Same Girl" playing]

♪

♪ Why don't you stop

[horn blares]

Yeah, and there we go.

Across the border into Wiltshire.

-Wey hey! -No turning back.

We're on a bus!

PAUL: No, it's not a bus, darling.

It's bigger than a bus.

Oh, it's good to get away from the rat race.

I'm sure they have rat races round here,

but they're probably on a village green

and they all wear tiny little shorts.

-[both laugh] -Thank you, Darren.

Can I have the iPad?

Uh, no, darling, I didn't pack it.

-Why? -Why?

Because this trip is about unplugging.

We're going Apple cold turkey.

We're going iTurkey.

-LUKE: Dad? -Yep?

Is your bum hot?

Uh...

Yeah, I suppose it is a bit.

Oh, that's the under-seat heating.

-PAUL: Mm. -I have it on routinely.

For my, uh, balls.

Need to keep them temperate, or fertility-wise...[whistles]

MAN [over radio]: Playing more music.

Sorry. Probably too much information.

Well, it's quite a lot of information.

MAN [over radio]: Have you been affected by an accident at work

that wasn't your fault?

Orbital Claims is here to help--

-[radio chimes off] -Is that an Orbital Claims ad?

-No. Don't think so. -[radio chimes on]

At Orbital Claims, we take--

-[radio chimes off] -Yes, it is.

But Orbital Claims are our clients.

-Oh, not on this campaign. -Yes, this campaign.

They booked studio space for this advert last month.

He's about to say, "Count on reliability,"

-or something tautological. -[radio chimes on]

Reliability you can depend on.

-Orbital Claims. -[radio chimes off]

And we are very nearly there, guys.

-Good-o. -LUKE AND AVA: Yay!

PAUL: At last.

[upbeat music]

♪

PAUL: Okay, kids. Come on.

God, who'd you buy this house from,

Blofeld or Jamiroquai?

It's architect designed.

Well, all houses are, aren't they?

No one lives in a house designed by a newsagent.

-[both chuckle] -Right, let's unpack.

Look at these emails.

That campaign was promised to us.

They gazumped us. I'm calling them now.

No, no, don't. We weren't gazumped.

They completely gazumped us, Darren!

-PAUL: Ally? -What?

Do you want me to bring Michael?

-LUKE: I bet you can't catch me.-AVA: No, wait!

Oh, God, oh, yes. Yes. Of course.

PAUL: Okay. Come on, big man.

Ooh, Christ!

Hey, hey, kids, don't run, please.

Don't break anything.

Everything in this house costs...

I'm guessing a million pounds.

Darren, are you an actual arms dealer?

[laughs] No, I just invested wisely.

What, in the destabilization of the Middle East?

Give me one good reason not to ring Orbital

-and call them wankers. -[sighs]

They moved on, Ally.

I mean, when it came down to it,you weren't available.

Because?

[sighs] Of Michael's...passing.

Death.

He died.

-Sorry, you know that. -Oh.

That meant we were in violation,so Orbital went elsewhere.

You were the reason they signed with us.

Oh, that was a five-figure contract, Darren.

Shit a grab-bag of fuck!

-LUKE: Dad? -PAUL: Mm-hmm?

There's a naked ladyon the wall of Darren's bedroom.

Oh, it's--it's a painting, an old one.

-Okay. -Not porn, art.

And it's not even erotica.

Luke, what have I told you

about going into other people's bedrooms?

Get outside. Explore the garden.

Don't kill or eat anything.

Go. Go.

-Sorry, Darren. -Oh, it's fine.

♪

You sure this is the right one?

Is this the spare room? [laughs]

ALLY: I know.

Where did Darren get his money from?

-Sheer bloody hard work. -[chuckles]

That and his stepdad was a hedge fund manager.

[laughs]

-Thank you, by the way. -Hmm? For what?

For taking on all the random stuff

-for the kids. -Oh.

I know how much you hate stuff.

Oh, it's not a problem.

-[sighs] -It's not a pleasure either,

but it's not a problem.

Can't believe I-- Oh, my God!

This bed is so comfy.

I can't believe I screwed up the Orbital thing.

Oh, come on, your dad had just died.

There was nothing that you could--

Fucking hell, you're not kidding.

-I know. -Fuck!

The Orbital thing's not your fault.

You might as well say 9/11's your fault,

when we both know you hadvirtually nothing to do with it.

[laughs]

Mm.

You all right?

Think you're doing really well.

-Mm. -Yeah.

-Ally, you okay? -Yeah, I heard you, Paul.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm on my way

to psycho-fucking-therapy.

So I'm brilliant. I'm great.

-[sighs] -Fair enough.

Listen, don't be worried if you fancy him.

I've seen documentaries. I know it happens.

It's a woman.

PAUL: Oh.

This is where I don't say the thing

that you think I'm gonna.

Hey.

-Don't be anxious. -I'm not.

That was easy. I should be a therapist.

[Ally chuckles]

You going in?

So it's all great, really-- I mean,

ups and downs with the family and Mum

and obviously, uh, Michael, et cetera.

But, you know, I'm just, you know,

rolling with the punches and getting on with it.

[chuckles] I mean, yeah, it's just--it's all fine.

Ally, I'm just gonna stop you there.

Am I doing this wrong?

No, you're not doing it wrong.

Because you saidthat I could just use this time

to talk about what I like, so--

Yes, yeah.

And you're doing a great job of showing me

how everything is fine and working well,

but there must be a reason you're here.

You seem very young. Are you--are you a trainee?

-Excuse me? -Um, are you on a course?

'Cause I'm assuming not just anyone

can call themselves a therapist.

Actually, they can.

It's not a legally protected title.

That is mental.

Sorry, no offense, but...

I just don't like the thought of someone

tearing around my brain with L plates on.

I'm in my third year of training

as a psychodynamic psychoanalysist,

so not quite fully qualified but--

So have you at least got some GCSEs?

-What's seven 8s? -This isn't about me.

-It's 56. -Why are you here, Ally?

♪

I know that your dad died recently.

Yep. Yeah.

So why don't we start with that?

Tell me--tell me about him.

Mm...

nah.

[door clicks open]

Hey. That was quick.

-Pay for the hour? -No.

It was a bit crap, to be honest.

-Shit, really? -Yeah.

Maybe it's not for me and I should just

try something else.

Dad liked Reiki, so that might possibly be--

Pseudoscience bullshit?

Oh, oh, I'm sorry, Paul.

It was just-- it was a bit brutal.

Oh.

-ALLY: Mm. -PAUL: Right?

ALLY: Yeah.

-PAUL: Hmm. -[door slams, echoes]

Okay.

Well...

worth a go, I suppose.

[siren wailing]

I meant--when I say brutal, I mean, like--

I mean in a good way.

You know, unearthing old bones,

old--old psychological bones.

So, what, it was actually okay--

-It was--it was okay. -Yeah.

It was okay, and I'm--you know,

it's certainly something I would try again.

-Oh, really? -Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Good. I'm really pleased to hear it.

All right, let's get you home.

Okay, so not Wookey Hole. No.

Not Silbury Hill.

Not the donkey sanctuary.

Never understood what donkeys needed sanctuary from.

-Mm. -Perverts or horses?

Are horses the enemy?

Right, so, um, what about this?

Cowley Henge says,"The finest Neolithic monoliths

"in this part of Wiltshire

if you discount Stonehenge itself."

Bloody Stonehenge, spoiling it for all the other henges.

That's not bad. He was into all that shit.

It might be worth a go.

-PAUL: Mm? -ALLY: Mm-hmm.

You ready for this?

Yeah. I mean, I guess. Why not?

-PAUL: Mm. -Just get it done.

-Might make me feel better. -Okay.

LUKE: Are there wolves in the woods?

DARREN: No. Not since the 15th century.

Don't worry, there's nothingin these woods to be scared of.

I mean, adders can kill, but rarely.

-And they caught that guy. -LUKE: Okay.

-LUKE: Ava, wait! -ALLY: Listen, I reckon

there's a way that we can loop back into

the whole Orbital thing.

'Cause before the financial year's over,

they're gonna be looking at waysto cut costs, and that's

-when we could step in-- -No, no, no, no.

Are you interrupting me, Darren?

No. Well, yes.

I just think the last thing you need to do this weekend

-is think about work. -But I quite like

to think about work, and I can think about

more than one thing at a time, you know.

Sometimes I even do a Sudoku when I'm taking a shit.

Lovely. Um... [sighs]

Look, we're fine for the minute.

Just put it out of your mind.

You're not ready for it.Just focus on the task at hand.

[Ally exhales sharply]

These should have handles. Quite a poor design.

-Do you want me to help? -Nah, it's fine.

Actually, quite good for the abs, I think.

In a respectful way.

[melancholic music]

♪

I'm bored of stones.

-These aren't just stones. -What are they?

They're...

really old stones.

They're ancient rocks.

What's Mummy doing?

Mummy's taking her time.

She's thinking.

She's getting ready to say good-bye to Michael.

LUKE: Can't she hurry up?

PAUL: No, it's notthe sort of thing you can rush.

-She has to think about it. -Why?

Because this is a big deal, mate.

That's her dad. She needs it to be special.

But you said he's just ashes.

Yeah, but it's what those ashessymbolize, isn't it?

-What do they symbolize? -Christ!

Go and-- go and count the stones, Luke.

You know, legend has it

that when you try to count these stones,

you never get the same number twice.

-Is that true? -No.

-There are 19. -Mm.

I need a wee.

Well, go against one of the 19 stones.

[cell phone ringing]

Gonna answer that?

I feel it's a bit inappropriate.

Well, silence it, then.

It's relatively important.

Well, answer the fucking thing!

Anspert, guten tag. Hi. Yeah.

Yes? You all good?

You'll have to hold it in, Luke.

But I'm desperate.

I'm hungry, Daddy.

Quiet, okay? Mummy is nearly finished.

-I'm hungry too. -Did I just say be quiet?

Did I just say that? I think I did, didn't I?

So shut up so Mummy can get all this done with.

No, no, that's not what we agreed, is it?

No, seriously, Anspert,

you're gonna have to come towards me a bit on this.

Hey, you know what? I'm not really feeling it.

Oh.

Come on, then, Dusty. Kids, get your coats.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds a bit more reasonable.

See, I used to watch him go, like, get in a cab.

He was away a lot.

And now he's away forever.

Some people look to their partners at times like this

to take the wheel, as it were.

Yeah, he's never gonna be that guy.

He's never gonna be the guy

that gives me space for my feelings.

He's not a space...man.

What kind of a man is he, then?

Paul? Um, he's--he's there. He's...

he's a there man.

And this, they call espalier.

-Okay. -From the--

-Morning. -Hiya.

Sit down, and I will do you

a huge bowl of whole wheat porridge.

A cup of tea will be fine.

No, no, no, you need warmth. You need care.

You need oats.

Like a homeless horse.

I'll get you a cup of tea, babe.

Thanks.

Where are the kids?

Oh, I plugged them into the VR rig in the snug.

AVA: Oh, what's that?

-What are they playing? -No idea.

So do you wanna give the old boy

another chance to ride the wind today?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just not ready yet.

Oh.

What?

-Nothing. -That wasn't nothing.

You did a big, pregnant "oh." Heavily pregnant.

Well, we do need, uh,

to talk at some point about Berlin, et cetera.

I mean, only when you've got closure.

So when I've bunged the fucker somewhere.

Well, um...

I wouldn't say "bunged,"

and I'd probably avoid "fucker."

Right, well, I guess we'd betterget a shift on, then.

Less nattering, more scattering.

For fuck's sake!

[upbeat music]

♪

Why does Mummy still have Granddad Michael?

PAUL: Uh, it's a long good-bye,innit?

Hard to let go.

LUKE: Will she let go soon?

Well, you can't hurry these things.

Apparently.

DARREN: Where do you think she's going?

PAUL: I don't know.

DARREN: Why do you think she's going in there?

It's quiet.

Maybe it's God.

It's not God. He-- She hates God.

[sighs] What do you reckon? Just wait?

[sighs] Yeah--uh, yeah.

Okay.

-[children laughing] -PAUL: Nicely, you two.

-LUKE: You can't catch me. -AVA: Yes, I can!

How is Ally doing, generally?

She's been seeing someone.

-Okay. -Mm.

And you're all right with that?

Well, the million quid will come in handy,

and apparently it's only for one night.

I meant she's been seeing a therapist, Darren.

-Sorry. Of course. -[both chuckle]

Well, I'm sure we could all benefit from a dose of that.

[exhales] Definitely.

Have you ever thought

-of talking to someone? -Mm...

Let's acknowledge that this is an important step

-you've taken, Paul. -Fuck this.

-It's probably not for me. -[children chattering]

I remember when I was having issues.

-Mm-hmm. -And one night,

I woke up with a fizzy brain,

as you do, and I'd lost all sense of Darren.

You know, the elemental Darren.

Scary.

But Karen made sense.

-I could feel her next to me. -Right.

And I thought...

I've got this rock,

this completely silent and utterly still thing.

Mm-hmm.

-And that felt very nice. -Mm.

Karen joining us this weekend?

-Uh, no. -Hmm.

That's a shame.

Prior engagement?

No, she just didn't wanna come.

How you doing?

You all right?

Do you remember you once gave me a lift to college

on your scooter and I made you stop round the corner

'cause I didn't want my mates to see?

I'm sorry about that.

You were many things, but...

I was never ashamed of you.

[children chattering]

[exhales sharply] She's been in there awhile.

Half an hour. Should you check on her?

Yeah, probably. Will you watch the kids?

-Copy that. -Thanks.

All my friends at school

thought you were the coolest dad.

Their dads were dull and disappointing and predictable.

But, you know, they were around.

LUKE: Dad!

-Who's Mummy talking to? -Shh, shh, shh.

Sorry, they wouldn't listen to me.

PAUL: Be quiet, please.

Sorry.

[sighs]

Thanks for coming back to see me, though.

Those last few weeks, I, um--

I really felt a shift in our relationship.

But it's time.

It's time now to let you go.

-AVA: I'm bored! -PAUL: Hey, hey.

That's enough.

-[cell phone ringing] -PAUL: Oh, Christ!

Mate, put it on vibrate.

-DARREN: Sorry. -PAUL: Please.

Sorry. Sorry.

Can all of you shut the fuck up?

Ava, shut up!

Luke, shut the fuck up!

I am trying to talkto my fucking dead fucking dad,

but none of you will shut the--

[cell phone ringing]

Darren, fuck off with your fucking phone

and your fucking, fucking stupid fucking wellies

and your useless fucking ba--

[horn blaring]

Oh, it's his answerphone.

Hi, Darren.

Hi, I'm so, so sorry for what I said about you.

I'm sorry, can you hear me?

You probably can't hear me

'cause it's really, really loud.

But I am--I'm just--I'm so-- I'm sorry for everything.

I've been going through some stuff,

and you've been amazing, and I'm just--

-I'm so sorry for what I said---[horn blaring]

For what I said about your useless balls!

Excuse me?

Could you move that, please? It's blocking the vestibule.

Uh, not really. I mean, everyone's got bags.

Not everyone's got an urn. It's in the way.

Oh, listen, we have just paid the equivalent

of a trip to Center Parcs

for the privilege of standing in this--

let's call it what it is, fucking palace of a vestibule,

so maybe just let this one go, eh?

Are you escalating this situation, sir?

-Oh, mate, please. -'Cause if you force me

to escalate this situation, sir,I will escalate it.

-What, with extreme prejudice? -I'm not prejudiced.

-We've all been on a course. -All right, fine!

PAUL: Hon. Hon!

CONDUCTOR: Hey!What do you think you're doing?

You can't just chuck stuff off a train, you idiot!

Shut up. Shut up!

The charred remains of my wife's dead dad

were in that fucking urn!

She's been trying to let go of him all week.

That was her doing it.

It's not easy to let things go,and I'm very proud of her.

So if she can let that go, mate,

then maybe you can let it go.

Now, can you do that? Can you let it go?

Just, you know, I've got a job to do.

Sure, understood.

[upbeat music]

Hey. Hey, hey.

♪

[exhales] I can't believe I did that.

Seems right.

You dumped your dad

somewhere between Didcot and Reading.

-[chuckles] -Two arbitrary points.

It's fitting really, for him.

I've just realized that for the first time ever,

I don't have to worry about when I'm gonna

-see him again. -Yeah.

You know, that was the worst thing:

never knowing.

Ugh. Right, can you get everyone into a cab?

I'm gonna try and get Darren again.

Yep, will do.

-Hey. -Bloody hell!

What are you doing here?

Well, I knew I could beat you back to London

if I drove 20 miles above the speed limit

-all the way. -Christ, Darren, why?

[sighs] I just wanted to apologize.

I mean, that was a terrible thing I did.

You know, you needed time, and I shouldn't have

-put you under pressure like-- -Oh, God. No, no.

It was me. I'm so sorry. Come here.

Is Mummy allowed to cuddle Darren?

Yeah. Mate, she's allowed to do anything she wants.

But no, not really.

♪

[exhales heavily]

Kids are in bed.

-Bins are out. Heating's on. -Mm.

I've made some tea.

I mean, I'm not saying I'm Gandhi, but...

I know it sounds weird, but I don't want you

to touch me or to sit on the sofa with me right now,

if that's all right.

Okay, this is quite Soviet foreplay.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Paul.

And I don't wanna talk either, if that's all right.

Okay, do you-- I mean, do you want me

-to be in another room or-- -No. No, no, no.

Can you just...

sit on the floor and just be there?

Yeah.

-Thanks. -Ah.

Oh.

ALLY: Ah.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

Love you.

I love you too.

No, don't move, ever. Just be there.

[indistinct chatter over TV]

-I said don't move. -Right, yeah.

-Shh. -[sighs]

[light music]

-[Ally laughs] -[Paul sighs]

♪

[upbeat music]

♪

Captioned by Captionmax

CHILDREN: Mummy! Mummy!

[high-pitched voice] Mummy isn't here. Try next door.

CHILDREN: Mummy!

WOMAN: Oh, my God. No, got the wrong house.

-I'm a once-in-a-generation artist. -Oh.

Who just got verified on Twitter, about, what, nine days ago?

I'm glad you feel good that a robot told you you're worth it.

♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪

-Mom. -Yes?

-Okay. I want a big party this year. -Serious?

-I want a quinceañera. -Quinceañera?

We can't do that. We're too white for that. We're not allowed.

-[shouting] -[screaming]

What the hell is going on out here?

Ta-da!

-Whoo-hoo! -[splashes]

-[roars] -You've got 20 seconds to decide-- arms or legs?

Decide. Decide!

-[drill whirring] -[screaming]

We're just getting started. [grunting]

-[shrieks] -[farting, grunts]

Ow.

What is Devs?

What is Devs?

What is Devs?

[screams]

The ERA is not about, uh, equality.

It's about power.

There are more of us than there are of you.

I wouldn't be so sure.