Original subtitles

Why did you jump?

Well... Because you asked me to!

Why did I ask you to do it?

To put me to the test, I guess.

What kind of test?

I jumped because I trust you,

I have faith in the Soviet Union and the KGB that serves it everywhere...

and in the Communist cause, which transcends

borders and is the future of mankind.

Because I want to serve that cause and I'm ready to die for it.

Do you accept my application for the KGB?

AFRICAN COLONIES

René...

We are lovers

I heard hell

Awaits us

What the hell are you doing, Moulinier?

I... Well... I'm just sorting my stuff.

You're throwing away the Africa files?

No need to keep files on colonies that aren't colonies anymore.

-They just clutter things up. -Really?

These countries no longer exist? They've been wiped off the map?

They been submerged?

Just because they changed their names,

they don't need France anymore?

-They wanted independence. -And?

I thought that meant they were independent.

If your kids come to you and say: "I want my own bedroom",

do you throw away your family register? Do you abandon them?

Do you cut ties with them? Do you consider them to be a drag?

-No... -All right.

So take them out of the trash and get with the program.

France will not abandon its African brothers because they wanted

elections.

All right.

Speaking of elections, let me remind you that one of your new States

still hasn't elected a president.

-The elections are in two weeks. -Right.

So you still have two weeks to decide who they will elect.

You didn't plan on letting them choose for themselves?

Isn't that what elections are all about?

We're talking about Africa, Moulinier. Your region.

If we don't control these people,

they'll be at each others throats.

And the Soviets are just waiting to get ahold of them.

Unbelievable. You need to come back to Earth.

-Not at all... -Get a grip.

Find a president and get him elected. Pronto.

What about my target?

-It can wait. -No, it can't.

I've got every reason to believe she's a category A target.

This president comes first!

Get to work.

And put on a proper suit. This isn't a circus.

Wait! Wait, I want to work for you!

I want to work for the Soviet Union!

I... I want to fight Capitalist oppression!

Stop! Stop the music!

Salam Aleikum, everyone!

Who's got a smoke for me?

Here you go, Colonel.

Twelve o'clock! Who wants to grab lunch?

Ah, Moquard!

What are you doing?

Well... I got some couscous round the corner.

A Moroccan. Not too bad.

Good thing he's not Tunisian. They put too much harissa.

Holy Mother of God.

Put that thing down.

-I'm inviting you for lunch. -Yes...

That's nice, but I'm supposed to meet Sidi Jacky.

Did Jaktar find you an office?

No.

Jaktar!

You haven't found Moquard an office yet?

No.

He'll need to go home eventually. He has a family.

Oh! Families... One day you got one, the next day it's gone.

Your motherland won't disappoint like that.

Tell Schmidt to find him an official job here.

-But... -You know what? Forget about Schmidt.

Moquard, you are now the administrative director,

category C, on a special task force.

We'll have some drinks to celebrate.

But let's go and eat first. Are you coming with us, Jaktar?

I'm afraid Moulinier and Calot need me for a recruiting mission.

Let's go. I'm starving!

Yallah!

Go. Don't rub him the wrong way

or he'll never let you go back.

You can't stay here for too long,

I need a man in Algiers.

So, Moquard, what are you waiting for?

Yes, it's...

Do it for France.

Do it for me.

What about my couscous? When am I going to eat it?

Maybe later, I don't know.

I recognize you! You're the guy who saved me from Mercaillon's minions.

Thanks.

Ostanovki!

Why would you do this to me?

The KGB is powerful enough to save you from anything,

even from the KGB.

Oh, no!

No, stop!

As the President of the Republic,

I'll be committed to promoting individual freedoms,

whether they be religious, political, ethnic...

Thank you! Thank you, sir.

As the elected leader,

I'll take over the reins of my country:

I'll create a political police,

State control of the press and the radio,

I'll set up special jurisdiction courts, a curfew,

reeducation camps for the young and the old...

Next!

Why?

Yeah. Why?

This one's at least got potential.

Next!

My African brothers...

Stop.

We can't... People will notice.

I know the country very well.

That's where I was born. My family owns 7,000 hectares of land there.

I've spent 15 years overseeing the oil rig.

We know you have the skills. But people are biased.

I'm sorry buddy,

you're ahead of your time.

Next!

Dear compatriots, dear friends,

I've sung so much about this low land, where my ancestors are sleeping

under the palm trees, the trade winds...

I know the slightest of its roots,

the Savannah, the sky so vast.

I know its men, so proud,

the children so gay and the mothers sublime.

...the right words to appease men.

Thank you, that'll do.

Who wrote this?

-I did. -It's beautiful.

It's magnificent. This is Africa!

Do you have anything else to tell us?

Yes.

I believe in the fraternity of peoples, if they are led, of course, in peace...

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

I choose the army guy.

He's the best one.

It's the least bad choice.

I agree. An iron grip, charisma, authority.

You don't get it!

That's not how Africa works, you wouldn't know.

I know what a well-managed region is.

I understand your reservations. He lacks finesse.

But there's strong foundation to build on.

We'll write his speeches, get him into a suit.

You can recommend a tailor.

He's the one we need to choose.

-Him? -Are you kidding?

He's intelligent, cultured... Refined!

-He's got heart... -What's that got to do with Africa?

It's my region, I get to decide.

No way!

You wanted a tripartite meeting, we'll make a tripartite decision.

Did you have a nice day, Maurice?

I had veal paupiettes for lunch.

They had some fatty bits, but weren't as tasty

as yours.

Moquard also liked them. Especially the stuffing.

He doesn't even eat pork.

-Is he a Jew? -No.

An Arab.

I swore to him that it was veal stuffing.

He gobbled it up!

-You should've been there! -That's not right.

What's not right?

A civil servant should not mix with natives.

This one's very likable. I'll invite him. You'll see.

He'll tell you about Algeria, you can tell him about the Sarthe region.

This is excellent!

Thank you.

-Would you care for some wine? -Maurice...

You think I'm lying?

Huh? You think I'm lying.

Not at all.

This device is... a lie-detector, right?

Who needs a lie-detector when everybody is lying?

It would be stupid.

The KGB designed a truth-detector.

Any person telling the truth

is immediately spotted by this marvel

of Soviet high-technology.

That's very clever.

Right?

What is your name?

André Merlaux.

You see, it's effective.

Yes, it's effective all right.

Should I lie or tell the truth?

Who asks questions here?

You do.

That's right.

The name of our national newspaper is Pravda.

It means "truth", something that's very dear to us.

Yes, it does seem like it.

53%.

Oh... We want it to be higher

to be an indisputable democratic victory, but not too high,

so it doesn't look rigged.

We need it to be around 85%.

Isn't that a bit too high?

When we went for 78, the protests just wouldn't stop,

there were riots, it was a mess. 85 will do.

Even a little bit higher.

86.56.

Take the mean between the instability threshold,

which you've established is 78%,

and a perfect score, which would be 100%,

adjust it using a popularity coefficient of 3,

and since there's a 0.5% margin of error, we get 86.56.

86.56% of the votes sounds perfect.

It allows for a president who is loved by his people, legitimate,

with only a fraction of the population voting for his rival.

That's a real, beautiful democracy.

I'll go tell the poet we chose him.

The poet? You can't be serious.

-We had an agreement. -Obviously not.

We need the army guy. It's so obvious.

A machete-wielding madman who'll set fire to my region? Never.

It'll be the poet.

Come on, Moulinier, that man's a lunatic!

Say something.

Are you being pressured?

No, not at all. No.

Let's vote, then.

What? It's a legitimate method to select someone.

Then it'll be the poet. That's my final word.

See you tomorrow, gentlemen.

You can't just leave us like that!

And you just say nothing?

He's being pressured.

WHEREVER NECESSITY KNOWS NO LAW

Ismaël!

-Congratulations! -Thanks, Roger. Thanks.

I will not betray your trust.

I know, I know, Ismaël.

I'm going to go home,

to prepare for the noble mission you trusted me with.

-I have a small favor to ask. -What is it?

You're such a talented writer... You are!

Thanks, Roger...

Could you help me draft a few lines?

Of course.

Roger?

You shouldn't have!

I need to put them in a vase.

Have a seat!

It's marvelous.

Do you want a glass of Ambassadeur?

Sure.

Cheers.

Can you pull the curtain first?

-Wait, let me do it. -Turn around, please.

...upon Mr Gromyko's request, to condemn the deal

reached in Antananarivo between Congolese leaders...

What time will you be back, André?

Quiet!

André, use the pads!

So he wants Belgium to be condemned by the United Nations

as the aggressor. Everyone understands the importance

of the vote's result in our départements...

André, don't do anything silly!

So the new Republic, like its neighboring countries,

elected its president: Ismaël Boussa,

was elected with 86% of the votes.

We said 86.56.

Sloppy work. They can't even do that right.

Africa wouldn't be Africa if it didn't all end

in song and dance.

Yet, they always find time to dance.

What country won World War II on its own?

The Soviet Union.

What country liberated the workers from oppression and poverty?

The Soviet Union.

This truth-detector is infallible.

Do you want to join the KGB, Merlaux?

Yes.

I have a surprise for you.

You're giving me an ad for a car?

No!

You're so charming...

No, I think I'm going to order one to take you on a trip.

Listen to this.

"The Floride packs the thrills of the great outdoors

in an elegant and sporty cabriolet that handles like a racehorse."

It would be great for a road trip in Provence.

Or even Italy, if you'd like to go there.

I could take you to Rome.

What do you say about that?

We're not going on a trip together, Roger.

-But... why? -We're not going to see each other again.

It was very enjoyable.

I'm very happy to have met you, but...

I just left my husband, I don't need another one.

I'm free and I plan to stay that way.

"Light woman, Sun woman, I'm singing your beauty.

I'm singing your soft skin, listening to your warm voice.

I enchant your hips.

In the shadow of your hair, I dream as I fall asleep.

Celestial gazelle, flaming lioness.

The sky so vast over the clear Savannah

is too narrow for you.

But my heart is growing so I can love you infinitely."

Did you write this?

Yes... For you.

It's cute.

What the hell are you doing, Moulinier? Why aren't you celebrating?

Your candidate, Ismaël Boussa, has been assassinated.

This soldier here, Ousmane Gorgui, took power.

Well done, Moulinier.

Choosing a puppet to have him whacked by the other guy was nicely played.

Yes, we couldn't have people saying France was involved.

Very skillful. The General sent his congratulations!

Well done, Moulinier.

Well played!

Thanks.

You can now get back to tailing your target.

It turns out that I'm not sure it's worth it.

You were adamant that she was as dangerous as a time bomb.

Her behavior was suspicious for a woman.

No kids, no shopping,

she goes out every night, and she has no husband.

But the truth is she left her husband, there's nothing else to look into.

And why did she leave him?

Apparently, he was a rich old guy with a cushy life

who bored her to death.

Did you see this old guy?

No, but that's how she talks about him.

So how did this old man deal with all this?

Like any other cuckold: not well.

A cuckold?

Does she have a lover?

Not anymore.

Did you find out who that lover is?

He was traveling. It was just a fling. Nothing useful to us.

He was a great guy, though.

Anyway, there's nothing of substance.

No.

Give me the file then.

Wow. These are very nice for tailing mission pictures.

I bought a good telephoto lens.

Good work. I'm glad to see you're back on track.

Hey, Moulinier!

Moulinier!

What?

Why the sad face?

Sacrificing your poet broke your heart? Is that it?

You're the ones who got rid of him. Is that it?

With Calot's help?

No.

Honestly, we did think about it,

but we didn't have the time to do it. We thought it was you.

So it wasn't you?

Oh, yes it was. I did it.

I don't know what his deal is with that poet.

Perhaps he was his friend.

His friend?

You have a native friend too, right?

Although... I don't know much about friends.

Your grade is 47 out of 120.

And... is it good or bad?

It's excellent.

Oh, really?

So I've been admitted at the KGB?

You've been admitted to be tested.

I understand.

What does the test entail?

It's a mere formality.

You're going to kill one of your former colleagues.

She was beautiful,

radiant,

unpredictable, whimsical, naughty...

A perfect housewife.

Dedicated to her family, to her children.

And in the bedroom...

it was fireworks!

A serious, pious spouse.

An unparalleled homemaker.

I don't get it.

We were happy together.

She was happy, too. You could tell.

And her eyes when we were making love...

You should've seen her eyes during mass...

I'd tell her:

"I'm madly in love with you, Irène."

Your chick's name is Irène?

She's not my chick.

She's a woman I could've married.

My wife's name is also Irène.

Really?

That's funny.

Same name, different women.

Subtitle translation by Thomas Isackson