All language subtitles for Archer - 3x03 - The Limited.HDTV.2HD.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,196 --> 00:00:03,963 Lemme go! 2 00:00:03,965 --> 00:00:05,937 You have no jurisdiction over me! 3 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,071 I'm a Canadian citizen! 4 00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,653 Yeah, and we're taking you to Canada, so-- Help! 5 00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:11,020 Help! 6 00:00:11,022 --> 00:00:11,890 Extraordinary rendition! 7 00:00:11,892 --> 00:00:12,525 Extraordinary rendition! 8 00:00:13,261 --> 00:00:15,661 Light him up, newbie. 9 00:00:15,663 --> 00:00:17,428 Sorry in advance. 10 00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:18,194 Owww! 11 00:00:18,196 --> 00:00:19,628 That hurts like, insanely bad. 12 00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:22,566 That's why I said sorry in advance. And you have to have to 13 00:00:22,568 --> 00:00:24,970 stop yelling "extraordinary rendition." 14 00:00:24,972 --> 00:00:25,972 A, nobody cares. 15 00:00:25,974 --> 00:00:27,643 And -- Be careful! 16 00:00:27,645 --> 00:00:29,344 You big lummox! 17 00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:32,682 - I swear to God, if you scuff my bags... - Oh, 18 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,382 I wouldn't dream of it, ma'am. 19 00:00:33,384 --> 00:00:35,616 And I can do without the sarcasm. 20 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,020 Oh, no ma'am, that wasn't -- Enough! 21 00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:39,055 With the backchat! 22 00:00:39,057 --> 00:00:41,290 Ugh, Lana, maybe you can talk to him. 23 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:41,724 Um?! 24 00:00:41,726 --> 00:00:44,429 So this is the infamous Kenny Bilcoe? 25 00:00:44,431 --> 00:00:47,265 - You don't look like much of a terrorist... - That's because I'm a 26 00:00:47,267 --> 00:00:47,832 freedom fighter! 27 00:00:47,834 --> 00:00:49,969 For a free and sovereign Nova Scotia! 28 00:00:49,971 --> 00:00:51,939 Is that why you blew up a donut shop? 29 00:00:51,941 --> 00:00:52,807 Allegedly! 30 00:00:52,809 --> 00:00:55,676 If you believe Canada's illegitimate, so-called "government!" 31 00:00:55,678 --> 00:00:58,680 - I'm pretty sure we do... - Which is why we're taking 32 00:00:58,682 --> 00:00:59,915 you back to Ottawa. 33 00:00:59,917 --> 00:01:04,020 And once we do, hopefully the Mounties will start sending us all kinds of 34 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,188 lucrative work. 35 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:05,789 How noble. 36 00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:08,092 Speaking of work, can I put what I just assume is 37 00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:10,195 your rock collection on the stupid train? 38 00:01:10,197 --> 00:01:12,065 Yes, the -- nooope! 39 00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,501 Nice try, Pam. 40 00:01:13,503 --> 00:01:13,935 What? 41 00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:16,103 You want to get on that train so you can stowaway! 44 00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:20,073 Okay, no biggie. 45 00:01:20,075 --> 00:01:20,806 Have a nice trip. 46 00:01:20,808 --> 00:01:22,675 I -- wait a minute. 47 00:01:22,677 --> 00:01:23,675 What now? 48 00:01:23,677 --> 00:01:24,576 Too easy. 49 00:01:24,578 --> 00:01:25,877 Pam's up to something. 50 00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:27,811 Booooarrrd! 51 00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:30,847 - Well, I doubt she'll make it on now... - Ditto for Archer. 52 00:01:30,849 --> 00:01:31,314 Wh-? 53 00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:32,448 He's not here? 54 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,350 Mmmmmm... nope. 55 00:01:35,352 --> 00:01:37,018 Need to get these bags on, ma'am. 56 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:38,019 I heard him! 57 00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:38,552 George! 58 00:01:38,554 --> 00:01:42,089 - Malory, don't call him that... - My name actually is George. 59 00:01:42,091 --> 00:01:42,624 Really? 60 00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:45,727 Dammit, I told Sterling six o'clock! 61 00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:47,862 I thought you meant six a.m.! 62 00:01:47,864 --> 00:01:50,699 No, six -- Sterling are you drunk? 63 00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:51,800 Winnerrrr! 64 00:01:51,802 --> 00:01:52,367 Nice. 65 00:01:52,369 --> 00:01:54,737 - Archer... - You knew we were transporting a dangerous 66 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:55,571 terrorist to Canada! 67 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,874 So how and why are you drunk at six o'clock? 68 00:01:58,876 --> 00:02:04,045 Well the how's pretty self-explanatory, and the why is because, hic, 69 00:02:04,047 --> 00:02:06,716 I thought we were leaving at six a.m. 70 00:02:06,718 --> 00:02:07,350 tomorrow. 71 00:02:07,352 --> 00:02:10,520 Ergo, Latin, plenty of time to sleep it off. 72 00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:12,856 Well drink some coffee, because there's a good chance 73 00:02:12,858 --> 00:02:15,425 Bilcoe's terrorist pals -- Alleged terrorist pals! 74 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,360 -- are going to attack the train at some point, 75 00:02:17,362 --> 00:02:18,795 and try to bust him loose. 76 00:02:18,797 --> 00:02:19,796 Awesome! 77 00:02:19,798 --> 00:02:20,396 Right? 78 00:02:20,398 --> 00:02:22,765 I'm sorry, how is that "awesome?" 79 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,801 Because, hic, pretty much my whole life I've 80 00:02:24,803 --> 00:02:27,571 wanted to fight some guys on the roof of a speeding train. 81 00:02:27,573 --> 00:02:30,974 Well if I know my boys, you may just get your wish, big guy. 82 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,676 Thanks, Freddy Foreshadowing. 83 00:02:33,678 --> 00:02:35,178 Who is this? 84 00:02:36,047 --> 00:02:39,482 Please tell me he's a renowned chicken-and-waffle chef. 85 00:02:39,484 --> 00:02:43,352 Because I am starving. 86 00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:53,982 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 87 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:23,440 - So listen, you look like a pretty smart guy... - Well thanks, 88 00:03:23,442 --> 00:03:26,043 - I like to think so... - So why dontcha do yourself a pretty-smart-guy 89 00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:27,911 favor and just let me go? 90 00:03:27,913 --> 00:03:30,080 - Uh, because Ms. - Archer would kill me? 91 00:03:30,082 --> 00:03:32,783 Well what do ya think's gonna happen when my boys storm this train? 92 00:03:32,785 --> 00:03:34,051 Oh, I'm not too worried about that. 93 00:03:34,053 --> 00:03:35,118 Ya should be. 94 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:35,852 My boys are bad ass. 95 00:03:35,854 --> 00:03:37,955 Well, so am -- Lana. 96 00:03:37,957 --> 00:03:39,123 And I'm learning. 97 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:40,858 Oh, and don't forget about Archer. 98 00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:41,559 The drunk guy? 99 00:03:41,561 --> 00:03:44,795 He may have seemed drunk, but he's-- Still drinking? 100 00:03:44,797 --> 00:03:46,864 Relax, Lana it's just a bloody mary. 101 00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:49,233 And by the way, not a great one. 102 00:03:49,235 --> 00:03:50,935 Mr. Vodka and Ketchup. 103 00:03:50,937 --> 00:03:53,671 Archer, at any time in the next twelve hours this train could be 104 00:03:53,673 --> 00:03:56,140 attacked by radical Nova Scotian separatists. 105 00:03:56,142 --> 00:03:57,675 Armed with what? 106 00:03:57,677 --> 00:04:00,845 Pamphlets about Canada's responsible gun control laws? 107 00:04:00,847 --> 00:04:02,613 The New Scotland Front has guns, 108 00:04:02,615 --> 00:04:05,283 and they're not afraid to use them, so -- So okay! 109 00:04:05,285 --> 00:04:06,952 God, I'll switch to coffee. 110 00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:09,522 Hey Heinz 56, can I get an Irish coffee. 111 00:04:09,524 --> 00:04:09,889 No! 112 00:04:09,891 --> 00:04:11,357 Lana, I have to taper off. 113 00:04:11,359 --> 00:04:16,362 Trust me, if these Noma Scojens are a real threat, you do not want me hungover. 114 00:04:16,364 --> 00:04:18,864 Do you even still get hangovers? 115 00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:21,134 Normally no, but I drank about two gallons of 116 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,568 mamajuana this afternoon. 117 00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:27,439 I was playing dominoes with a, Dominican bike gang, or was it Mahjong. 118 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,039 I don't remember. 119 00:04:28,041 --> 00:04:29,374 Ridiculous! 120 00:04:29,376 --> 00:04:31,977 This thing's a sardine can. 121 00:04:31,979 --> 00:04:34,079 How are people supposed to travel like this? 122 00:04:34,081 --> 00:04:35,881 Most people bring less luggage. 123 00:04:35,883 --> 00:04:37,416 Most people fly. 124 00:04:37,418 --> 00:04:40,920 So your days of sullen superiority are numbered. 125 00:04:40,922 --> 00:04:42,922 I have no response to that. 126 00:04:42,924 --> 00:04:43,756 They never do. 127 00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:45,958 Now let's go find a bigger compartment. 128 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,493 I'm afraid there aren't any. 129 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,497 Nonsense, I'm sure there's one here somewhere. 130 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,998 Why are these all locked? 131 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,432 They're occupied. 132 00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:58,269 So if you don't mind -- What I mind is your familiar tone, young man. 133 00:04:58,271 --> 00:04:59,137 What's through here? 134 00:04:59,139 --> 00:05:00,905 Those are private cars, ma'am. 135 00:05:00,907 --> 00:05:02,173 What do you mean, "private?" 136 00:05:02,175 --> 00:05:05,542 I mean they're not -- Not for you to be knocking on! 137 00:05:05,544 --> 00:05:09,746 Now I have to insist that you -- Get yer panties untwisted! 138 00:05:09,748 --> 00:05:11,314 - Damn... Wh-? 139 00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:12,548 I knew it! 140 00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:16,985 I want this train stopped immediately and this stowaway forcibly disembarked! 141 00:05:16,987 --> 00:05:19,220 Afraid I can't do that, ma'am. 142 00:05:19,222 --> 00:05:21,822 You can and you will, or I'll have your job! 143 00:05:21,824 --> 00:05:23,289 No, she won't, George! 144 00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:24,123 Carol? 145 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,458 What are you doing here? 146 00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:27,793 Uh, trying to perform my ablutions? 147 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,962 But -- This is Miss Tunt's private car. 148 00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:32,764 How do you have a private train car? 149 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,766 Uh, cause she owns the railroad? 150 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:35,400 Well, half. 151 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,369 And I knew you wouldn't let us go on this stupid trip to Canada, so I had my 152 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,437 cars hooked up. 153 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:40,471 Cars? 154 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,306 Plural? 155 00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:45,609 This car, two sleeping cars, a private dining car, 156 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:48,978 and one that's just a teeny tiny skating rink. 157 00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:51,613 Er, two sleeping cars? 158 00:05:51,615 --> 00:05:54,616 Do you think there might be room for -- Nooope. 159 00:05:54,618 --> 00:06:01,588 It's already cramped back there, what with that piss-reeking ocelot. 160 00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:03,757 Plus George says you stiffed him. 161 00:06:03,759 --> 00:06:04,224 Wh-? 162 00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:06,192 No I didn't, I gave him a tip! 163 00:06:06,194 --> 00:06:07,127 A stick of gum? 164 00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:08,061 Well? 165 00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:08,528 Really? 166 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:09,729 Did you not have a button? 167 00:06:09,731 --> 00:06:11,330 You button it, missy! 168 00:06:11,332 --> 00:06:15,034 Oh we don't know the meaning of private, lets all pile in. 169 00:06:15,036 --> 00:06:15,901 Lana check it out! 170 00:06:15,903 --> 00:06:16,434 Actual gas lamps! 171 00:06:16,436 --> 00:06:19,337 Amazing, Archer, yes, so you think we can go guard the 172 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:21,705 prisoner now, or -- RROWR! 173 00:06:21,707 --> 00:06:24,007 Is that Babou? 174 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:24,975 Or not. 175 00:06:24,977 --> 00:06:25,809 Apparently. 176 00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:27,077 Okay -- Wowww! 177 00:06:27,079 --> 00:06:27,777 Lana! 178 00:06:27,779 --> 00:06:28,244 Cyril! 179 00:06:28,246 --> 00:06:28,845 Jesus! 180 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:29,545 Lana! 181 00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:30,546 And Pam. 182 00:06:30,548 --> 00:06:31,414 Lanaaaaa! 183 00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:31,881 What? 184 00:06:31,883 --> 00:06:32,915 He remembers me! 185 00:06:32,917 --> 00:06:35,617 Cyril, why are you in here? 186 00:06:35,619 --> 00:06:37,418 I didn't know where you guys were. 187 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:40,087 It doesn't matter where we are, Newb Gingrich -- 188 00:06:40,089 --> 00:06:41,121 Then get out! 189 00:06:41,123 --> 00:06:42,522 where's the prisoner? 190 00:06:42,524 --> 00:06:44,791 In my compartment. 191 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:49,261 - At least, he was... - Although he doesn't seem to be in here now. 192 00:06:49,263 --> 00:06:50,596 No kidding. 193 00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:52,831 Mmmmmm... nope. 194 00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:53,765 ARCHER Lana! 195 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:54,132 Cyril! 196 00:06:54,134 --> 00:06:56,234 - Oh my God... - Too late, he's gone. 197 00:06:56,236 --> 00:06:57,235 Thanks to Cyril. 198 00:06:57,237 --> 00:07:00,138 Well he's not gonna jump off a train going eighty miles an hour, so -- 199 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:00,772 So, yeah. 200 00:07:00,774 --> 00:07:02,573 We'll sweep car by car, moving from front to back. 201 00:07:02,575 --> 00:07:06,043 Good, you guys do that, I'll get a big raw steak from the kitchen. 202 00:07:06,045 --> 00:07:08,646 Are you talking about the ocelot? 203 00:07:08,648 --> 00:07:09,246 Are you not? 204 00:07:09,248 --> 00:07:10,681 I'm talking about the prisoner! 205 00:07:10,683 --> 00:07:12,215 - Oh. - Well, maybe they're together. 206 00:07:12,217 --> 00:07:14,384 Although I doubt it, Babou's kind of a loner. 207 00:07:14,386 --> 00:07:16,118 Like Paul Newman in Hud. 208 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:25,260 If Paul Newman had constantly sprayed piss all over, um... oh what was her... 209 00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:26,859 Patricia Neal! 210 00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,539 Who I hate. 211 00:07:33,698 --> 00:07:34,954 Sorry for the intrusion, folks. 212 00:07:35,074 --> 00:07:40,304 Nothing to worry about, just some standard, um...train security. 213 00:07:40,306 --> 00:07:42,314 Okay, that's all the regular cars. 214 00:07:42,434 --> 00:07:46,002 Now we get to search all the sleeper cars, thanks to your incompetence. 215 00:07:46,004 --> 00:07:47,737 Well you left me unsupervised. 216 00:07:47,739 --> 00:07:49,139 So this is my fault? 217 00:07:49,141 --> 00:07:50,540 Mmm, fifty-fifty? 218 00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:53,910 Fifty-fifty you accidentally shoot somebody, Newb. 219 00:07:53,912 --> 00:07:56,379 Now come on, it'll take us all night to search this damn train. 220 00:07:56,381 --> 00:07:59,649 - Well, but with Archer helping... - I wouldn't exactly call it helping. 221 00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:03,087 Here kitty kitty kitty. 222 00:08:03,089 --> 00:08:05,422 Kitty? 223 00:08:05,424 --> 00:08:09,726 Excuse me, is there an ocelot in there? 224 00:08:09,728 --> 00:08:11,629 No no no, what're you doing? 225 00:08:11,631 --> 00:08:13,864 Besides making a ms all over my train? 226 00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:16,533 Looking for a terrorist and an ocelot-- What? 227 00:08:16,535 --> 00:08:18,201 -- not necessarily in that order. 228 00:08:18,203 --> 00:08:20,803 Okay that's it, we're stopping. 229 00:08:20,805 --> 00:08:23,072 - Frank, this is George, we gotta... - Give me that! 230 00:08:23,074 --> 00:08:25,875 He's gotta keep the train at top speed so they can't get off. 231 00:08:25,877 --> 00:08:27,210 So tell him to keep it floored. 232 00:08:27,212 --> 00:08:28,612 I will do no such thing. 233 00:08:28,614 --> 00:08:30,214 Okay then here, hold this? 234 00:08:30,216 --> 00:08:32,149 Why are you giving me a -- oh my! 235 00:08:32,151 --> 00:08:34,185 Sorry, but I'm not letting a terrorist escape. 236 00:08:34,187 --> 00:08:37,990 And obviously an ocelot wouldn't survive in the frozen wasteland 237 00:08:37,992 --> 00:08:39,592 of upstate New York. 238 00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:41,227 So. 239 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,998 Sorry Frank, uh, Miss Tunt says she wants to beat 240 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,399 the record run to Ottawa. 241 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:47,101 Those crazy Tunts. 242 00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:50,471 Okay, hang on... 243 00:08:50,473 --> 00:08:51,373 Jesus! 244 00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:57,979 - Boys, hang on a sec... - Okay boys, make sure you bring the heavy 245 00:08:57,981 --> 00:09:00,381 stuff, cause these crazy ISIS bastards aren't playing... 246 00:09:00,383 --> 00:09:02,484 They just killed a black guy. 247 00:09:02,486 --> 00:09:03,618 I know, right? 248 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,386 Welcome to America. 249 00:09:05,388 --> 00:09:07,555 How is that racist? 250 00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:11,224 Never mind, look -- I treat all servants exactly the same, 251 00:09:11,226 --> 00:09:12,692 regardless of their race. 252 00:09:12,694 --> 00:09:14,394 Hang on, I hear freedom ringing. 253 00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:16,429 At worst I'm elitist. 254 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,530 But not racist. 255 00:09:17,532 --> 00:09:18,164 Whatever. 256 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,967 Cyril and I searched the front half of the train, but we didn't see any sign of 257 00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:23,002 Bilcoe, okay so -- I bet it's hard to see 258 00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:25,504 - anything from that high horse... - So. 259 00:09:25,506 --> 00:09:29,241 - Unless Archer found Bilcoe in the back half of the train... - Which, no, 260 00:09:29,243 --> 00:09:29,608 he didn't. 261 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,409 Jeezy Petes! 262 00:09:30,411 --> 00:09:30,909 Archer! 263 00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:31,777 Is that blood? 264 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:32,411 What? 265 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:32,878 Oh. 266 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,046 Yeah, but it's from a cow. 267 00:09:34,048 --> 00:09:37,449 You shot a cow? 268 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,153 And Bilcoe's not in the back half, so you guys must've missed him. 269 00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:41,788 Which, no, we didn't. 270 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,257 Which, yes, obviously you did -- Or you did. 271 00:09:44,259 --> 00:09:45,024 Or you did. 272 00:09:45,026 --> 00:09:47,394 Because there's no way he got off, we're moving too fast. 273 00:09:47,396 --> 00:09:49,029 Oh my God we totally are! 274 00:09:49,031 --> 00:09:52,332 We might beat the record run! 275 00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:55,369 You guys probably don't understand because don't own a railroad? 276 00:09:55,371 --> 00:09:57,505 But it's actually a pretty huge deal. 277 00:09:57,507 --> 00:09:58,073 To whom? 278 00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,474 Railroad owners? 279 00:09:59,476 --> 00:10:01,910 We're a pretty competitive bunch. 280 00:10:01,912 --> 00:10:02,845 No, Pam! 281 00:10:02,847 --> 00:10:04,713 No means no, now stop it! 282 00:10:04,715 --> 00:10:05,748 Whatsa matter? 283 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:06,515 Ya chicken? 284 00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:08,350 I'm in a wheelchair! 285 00:10:08,352 --> 00:10:08,683 Ow! 286 00:10:08,685 --> 00:10:10,786 Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk! 287 00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:11,486 Ow! 288 00:10:11,488 --> 00:10:14,656 Goddammit Pam I don't wanna race! 289 00:10:14,658 --> 00:10:15,991 Couple skate? 290 00:10:15,993 --> 00:10:18,261 I can't believe you have a skating rink train car. 291 00:10:18,263 --> 00:10:21,764 Yeah, apparently my great-grampa was nuts for skating. 292 00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:22,766 That and the Klan. 293 00:10:22,768 --> 00:10:25,001 I -- okay, so let's try this again. 294 00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:27,471 Car by car, this time back to front. 295 00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:31,308 Good, because Miss Stingy here won't let me eat in her private dining car-- 296 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:33,176 Oh my God we've been over thaaaat... 297 00:10:33,178 --> 00:10:36,112 -- so when you pass the dining car, have a porter bring me a Cobb 298 00:10:36,114 --> 00:10:36,980 salad. 299 00:10:36,982 --> 00:10:39,983 Before or after we locate the dangerous terrorist? 300 00:10:39,985 --> 00:10:41,818 Before. 301 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:45,423 Sorry folks, uh, go back to sleep. 302 00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:47,959 Yeah, just disregard the gun-toting 303 00:10:47,961 --> 00:10:50,428 spies and the blood smeared everywhere. 304 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:51,729 Oh yeah, keep an eye out for pawprints. 305 00:10:51,731 --> 00:10:53,130 Where, in the blood? 306 00:10:53,132 --> 00:10:56,067 Yeah, I assume at some point he'll come out to like... lick it. 307 00:10:56,069 --> 00:10:58,168 Come on, we've only searched two cars, 308 00:10:58,170 --> 00:10:59,770 so we've got a shitload to go. 309 00:10:59,772 --> 00:11:03,707 Uh, speaking of, I need to make use of the facilities here... 310 00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:05,376 Fine, but catch up, okay. 311 00:11:05,378 --> 00:11:07,045 And pay attention. 312 00:11:07,047 --> 00:11:09,080 Yeah, they look just like prints from a housecat, 313 00:11:09,082 --> 00:11:11,249 only bigger and awesomer. 314 00:11:11,251 --> 00:11:14,686 Go. 315 00:11:14,688 --> 00:11:15,921 Hey, welcome to the bathroom. 316 00:11:15,923 --> 00:11:16,588 Well, thank you. 317 00:11:16,590 --> 00:11:17,990 No, no, wait, what're you - 318 00:11:17,992 --> 00:11:19,025 Ungh! 319 00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:21,260 I can tell you never played much hockey, huh? 320 00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:24,497 Probably too busy runnin around shootin black guys. 321 00:11:24,499 --> 00:11:26,566 What's the word, boys? 322 00:11:26,568 --> 00:11:27,400 Fantastic! 323 00:11:27,402 --> 00:11:28,701 They'll never see that coming! 324 00:11:28,703 --> 00:11:30,402 I'll see ya at the border! 325 00:11:30,404 --> 00:11:32,004 Archer, we don't have time for this. 326 00:11:32,006 --> 00:11:33,672 It'll take like, two seconds! 327 00:11:33,674 --> 00:11:34,873 God! 328 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:39,410 - Okay so, a Cobb salad... - I am not taking that woman a salad, 329 00:11:39,412 --> 00:11:40,611 Cobb or otherwise. 330 00:11:40,613 --> 00:11:44,915 George, trust me, you don't want to see my mother with low blood sug -- 331 00:11:44,917 --> 00:11:46,217 Wait, why are we slowing down? 332 00:11:46,219 --> 00:11:47,852 We're at the border. 333 00:11:47,854 --> 00:11:48,319 Of? 334 00:11:48,321 --> 00:11:50,955 Uh, this new place, called Canada? 335 00:11:50,957 --> 00:11:51,422 So? 336 00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:54,192 So, customs, passport control, immigration? 337 00:11:54,194 --> 00:11:56,128 You know, the border? 338 00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:57,763 Yeah, but... with America. 339 00:11:57,765 --> 00:11:59,498 They still guard the border! 340 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,266 Lana, we're going into Canada! 341 00:12:01,268 --> 00:12:03,835 Okay, can you please explain to him-- Don't do that. 342 00:12:03,837 --> 00:12:08,273 Okay, already knowing your answer, I'm going to ask, "Don't do what." 343 00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:10,641 Make this a weird racial thing. 344 00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:13,945 - I knew, and yet I asked... - What, I just don't wanna be ganged up 345 00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:14,245 on! 346 00:12:14,247 --> 00:12:15,046 George, back me up here. 347 00:12:15,048 --> 00:12:18,249 I'm gonna back way up, and not be in here when the 348 00:12:18,251 --> 00:12:20,952 mounties catch you crazy people with all those guns. 349 00:12:20,954 --> 00:12:21,586 Oh, shit. 350 00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:24,855 What, they're Canadian, they don't even know what a gun -- oh, shit! 351 00:12:24,857 --> 00:12:27,591 He said, realizing that -- That what's the perfect 352 00:12:27,593 --> 00:12:30,194 disguise for some terrorists who want to board a train to bust 353 00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:31,762 loose another terrorist? 354 00:12:31,764 --> 00:12:33,129 Oh, shit! 355 00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:35,432 The -- Royal Canadian Mounted Police, folks. 356 00:12:35,434 --> 00:12:38,468 Please have your passports and declarations forms out and ready. 357 00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:39,235 Ready? 358 00:12:39,237 --> 00:12:42,172 Yeah, but what if they're like, actual real mounties? 359 00:12:42,174 --> 00:12:45,008 Well, not to belabor the point, but they'd still be Canadian. 360 00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:47,577 i.e., I doubt we're in any real danger. 361 00:12:47,579 --> 00:12:49,445 Okay, here goes... 362 00:12:49,447 --> 00:12:50,146 Freeze! 363 00:12:50,148 --> 00:12:50,646 Hands up! 364 00:12:50,648 --> 00:12:51,347 Get 'em up! 365 00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:55,051 I swear to God if any of you Canadian fruitcakes move I 366 00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:57,119 will shoot that stupid hat right off your head. 367 00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:58,287 That, that's not okay. 368 00:12:58,289 --> 00:13:00,388 Get 'em up Dudley Douchebags! 369 00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:02,023 Maintain the right, boys. 370 00:13:02,025 --> 00:13:05,059 Whoa, dude, we're serious, we'll shh -- 371 00:13:05,061 --> 00:13:07,562 iiiiiiit! 372 00:13:07,564 --> 00:13:09,230 God damn it, Archer! 373 00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:10,598 What, Lana? 374 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,966 You are so! 375 00:13:11,968 --> 00:13:12,801 Stupid! 376 00:13:12,803 --> 00:13:16,738 Thinking terrorists would be disguised as -- Royal Canadian Mounted Police! 377 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,474 Stand down, boys! 378 00:13:18,476 --> 00:13:19,242 We're mounties! 379 00:13:19,244 --> 00:13:19,942 Piss off! 380 00:13:19,944 --> 00:13:20,643 We're mounties! 381 00:13:20,645 --> 00:13:23,413 Great, good, we're all mounties, so no need for a Mexican 382 00:13:23,415 --> 00:13:24,447 standoff, eh? 383 00:13:24,449 --> 00:13:29,386 Oh yah, hooz aboota co-opt s'moor American stoof there, eh, Cahnada? 384 00:13:29,388 --> 00:13:31,555 Stuff like Mexican standoff? 385 00:13:31,557 --> 00:13:33,623 - Oh, look at that, the race card... Wh-? 386 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,024 Let's all just put down the guns, boys! 387 00:13:35,026 --> 00:13:37,193 C'mon, we're not Americans! 388 00:13:37,195 --> 00:13:37,593 RRROWR! 389 00:13:37,595 --> 00:13:39,261 Unvaccinated animal! 390 00:13:39,263 --> 00:13:39,962 Put him down, boys! 391 00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:40,429 No! 392 00:13:40,431 --> 00:13:41,196 Serpentine, Babou! 393 00:13:41,198 --> 00:13:41,697 RROWR! 394 00:13:41,699 --> 00:13:43,132 Aw jeez, he sprayed me! 395 00:13:43,134 --> 00:13:43,832 That reeks! 396 00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:44,733 Did he get away? 397 00:13:44,735 --> 00:13:47,035 Ya, ugh, he ran right oat past us! 398 00:13:47,037 --> 00:13:47,669 Good. 399 00:13:47,671 --> 00:13:49,037 Then screw this. 400 00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:50,712 Please tell me that's a smoke grenade. 401 00:13:50,832 --> 00:13:52,282 Okay. 402 00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:53,946 It's not, though. 403 00:14:01,071 --> 00:14:06,542 Hoh-lee -- -- shitsnacks! 404 00:14:06,544 --> 00:14:07,310 What was that? 405 00:14:07,312 --> 00:14:09,078 Probably my stomach growling. 406 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,515 I am literally starving to death. 407 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,616 I don't care, Frank! 408 00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:15,052 We are gonna beat that record, so put this stupid train in... 409 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,722 train-gear, and jam it! 410 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:18,089 Rrgh! 411 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:21,226 - I'm surrounded by mediocrity... - In what way? 412 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,395 In what possible way did that work? 413 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:27,698 - Umm A, they're all incapacitated... - And B, 414 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,167 I got to blow up a train. 415 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,268 Well thanks, Gomez -- Nice. 416 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,836 But that doesn't help us find Bilcoe! 417 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,605 He's right there, stupid. 418 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,039 Wh-? 419 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,373 Jesus boys, what happened? 420 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,308 I happened. 421 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,442 Drop it, Bilcoe. 422 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,410 You drop it, ya racist bastard! 423 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:41,611 Gagh! 424 00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:42,279 Oww! 425 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:45,148 Wait, how am I a racist? 426 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:45,648 Really? 427 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:48,451 Shut up and come on and shut up! 428 00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,586 Wait, we don't know which Mounties are the real ones! 429 00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:55,025 What do we do? 430 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,092 Archer! 431 00:14:56,094 --> 00:14:56,993 I'm kidding! 432 00:14:56,995 --> 00:14:59,329 Jesus... Hey, good guys and bad guys! 433 00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:04,134 All of you just got a pretty huge pass, so don't make me regret it later! 434 00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:04,501 Deal? 435 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:06,469 Come on! 436 00:15:06,471 --> 00:15:09,039 I'm taking that as tacit agreement! 437 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,374 Cyril, what the hell are you doing? 438 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,976 Being blind! 439 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,678 Oh my God, I'm blind! 440 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,379 Sweater! 441 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,814 Huh? 442 00:15:15,816 --> 00:15:16,147 Oh. 443 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,716 When will you not suck at this? 444 00:15:17,718 --> 00:15:20,585 When you don't suck at... shut up! 445 00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,254 Go ahead shoot me. 446 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,989 It's better than starving to death. 447 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,124 Everybody shut up! 448 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,761 And then somebody get over here to be my hostage! 449 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,497 Oh for -- way to man up, Ray! 450 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:32,997 Wh-? 451 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,165 I'm in a wheelchair! 452 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,467 Yeah, no offense but we're gonna be, ya know, running around and stuff? 453 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:38,268 Uh, no! 454 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,236 You're not! 455 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,036 Uh, yeah! 456 00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:40,604 I am! 457 00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:44,508 Everybody okay? 458 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,609 Yeah, I think so. 459 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,109 Yeah. 460 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,378 Paralyzed, but other than that, fine. Yeah. 461 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:51,614 - Okay, then Lana, you guard them... - Okay, what's the plan. 462 00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:55,451 And Cyril, you keep sliding down the learning curve like the Banana Splits. 463 00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:56,452 And what are you gonna do? 464 00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:59,989 I am going to fulfill my lifelong dream. 465 00:15:59,991 --> 00:16:03,158 Meeting Mr. Greenjeans? 466 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,326 Snap out of it, boys! 467 00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:05,160 Bilcohhhhhh! 468 00:16:05,162 --> 00:16:07,662 I could use some help on the roof! 469 00:16:07,664 --> 00:16:12,066 Oh my God, this is gonna be awwshiiiit! 470 00:16:12,068 --> 00:16:12,900 Owww! 471 00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:13,534 The dust! 472 00:16:13,536 --> 00:16:18,504 It's like being shot in the eyes by a... glittergun! 473 00:16:18,506 --> 00:16:20,106 There, that oughta do it. 474 00:16:20,108 --> 00:16:23,476 Okay, let's try that agawwwshiit! 475 00:16:23,478 --> 00:16:24,745 Retinas! 476 00:16:24,747 --> 00:16:26,814 Seared, like tuna steaks! 477 00:16:26,816 --> 00:16:29,316 All I want is to fight on top of a train! 478 00:16:29,318 --> 00:16:31,585 Is that too much to ask? 479 00:16:31,587 --> 00:16:34,221 The good news, is now I'm furious. 480 00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:36,557 So, rethinking this, huh? 481 00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:39,294 On top of the train you're still like, on the train, 482 00:16:39,296 --> 00:16:41,796 plus you got all -- oh shit! 483 00:16:41,798 --> 00:16:43,531 Plus you got all that. 484 00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:49,603 Oh shit. Whyyyyyyyyy-- -- do people do this? 485 00:16:49,605 --> 00:16:51,639 You're still just on the train. 486 00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:52,540 I know, right? 487 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:54,375 Although, I guess sometimes there's a helicopter? 488 00:16:54,377 --> 00:16:56,043 Do you have a helicopter? 489 00:16:56,045 --> 00:16:57,945 Mmmmmm... nope. 490 00:16:57,947 --> 00:16:58,479 Just a gun. 491 00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,213 It's empty, dickhead. 492 00:17:00,215 --> 00:17:02,382 Yeah nice try, super-dickhead. 493 00:17:03,785 --> 00:17:04,384 What the...? 494 00:17:04,386 --> 00:17:06,853 You fired eight rounds, ultradickhead. 495 00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:10,891 Am I the only person who ever keeps track of that, -- oww! 496 00:17:10,893 --> 00:17:13,493 - Wow, and I thought I was mad before... - Why, 497 00:17:13,495 --> 00:17:16,063 didja see some old black lady sittin in the front of a bus? 498 00:17:16,065 --> 00:17:18,199 What is your deal with calling me a racist? 499 00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:22,670 Well A, you're American -- That's, oh shit, racists 500 00:17:22,672 --> 00:17:24,104 jingoist, whatever! 501 00:17:24,106 --> 00:17:26,239 And B, you murdered the porter! 502 00:17:26,241 --> 00:17:26,706 Wh-? 503 00:17:26,708 --> 00:17:27,240 No I didn't! 504 00:17:27,242 --> 00:17:27,907 You shot him! 505 00:17:27,909 --> 00:17:29,042 There was blood everywhere! 506 00:17:29,044 --> 00:17:30,843 That was from a steak, you idiot! 507 00:17:30,845 --> 00:17:32,779 I was trying to catch an ocelot! 508 00:17:32,781 --> 00:17:34,681 In Canada? 509 00:17:34,683 --> 00:17:35,782 And I'm the idiot? 510 00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:37,450 Hold it right there, boys! 511 00:17:37,452 --> 00:17:39,952 Royal Canadian Mounted Police! 512 00:17:39,954 --> 00:17:41,087 Dammit, who are the real ones? 513 00:17:41,089 --> 00:17:43,023 Guess that's for me to know and you to find out. 514 00:17:43,025 --> 00:17:45,960 Well I'm gonna find out in like five -- RRROWR! 515 00:17:45,962 --> 00:17:46,460 Babou! 516 00:17:47,129 --> 00:17:48,128 He's corpuscular! 517 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:48,862 Get him, boys! 518 00:17:48,864 --> 00:17:49,530 Nooooo! 519 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,334 Babou, serpentiiiiiiine! 520 00:17:55,336 --> 00:17:58,771 - Yeah, so... - So yeah, put that in your little secret 521 00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:02,342 agent notebook, along with "don't leave prisoners unsupervised." 522 00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:06,046 There's absolutely no reason to ever get on top of a moving train. 523 00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:07,480 Wait, what if there's a helicopter? 524 00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:09,382 Ooh, yeah, or a dragon! 525 00:18:09,384 --> 00:18:11,050 Ooh, yeah, or some sarcasm! 526 00:18:11,052 --> 00:18:12,918 Ooh, yeah, or hang on! 527 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:13,686 What? 528 00:18:13,688 --> 00:18:15,587 Waaaaagh! 529 00:18:16,891 --> 00:18:20,559 Aaaaaa... ungh! 530 00:18:20,561 --> 00:18:21,660 Babooooo! 531 00:18:21,662 --> 00:18:26,098 That's right, buddy, I goww oww oww oww oww, Babou no! 532 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:26,632 Owww! 533 00:18:26,634 --> 00:18:30,736 RRROWWRR! 534 00:18:30,738 --> 00:18:33,906 Oh come on, I wouldn't say it was a complete failure... 535 00:18:33,908 --> 00:18:34,606 Oh, really? 536 00:18:34,608 --> 00:18:37,943 And what parts of this mission would you call a success? 537 00:18:37,945 --> 00:18:39,945 - Well, let's see... - Maybe the part 538 00:18:39,947 --> 00:18:43,549 where my non-recordbreaking train is totally shit-housed? 539 00:18:43,551 --> 00:18:46,085 - Not as shit-housed as my spleen... - Ooh, 540 00:18:46,087 --> 00:18:49,422 or maybe the part where the mounties will never hire ISIS again! 541 00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:52,025 What's it matter, we're all banned from Canada. 542 00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:56,029 - Au revoir, sweet man-whores of Montreal... - Ugh. 543 00:18:56,031 --> 00:18:56,730 Lana? 544 00:18:56,732 --> 00:18:57,531 You were saying? 545 00:18:57,533 --> 00:19:00,968 - Ah, well, we did help with a major arrest... - Kenny Bilcoe, 546 00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:04,271 you're under arrest for violation of sections one through nine of the Canadian 547 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,506 Terrorism Act, buddy. 548 00:19:05,508 --> 00:19:07,641 Sorry to cut into yer donut supply, boys. 549 00:19:07,643 --> 00:19:09,977 Long live free Nova Scotia! 550 00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:13,580 - Oh wait, make that five... - Same goes for you bastards! 551 00:19:13,582 --> 00:19:16,049 Plus impersonating an RCMP constable! 552 00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:17,717 That's not fair, you're doin it! 553 00:19:19,921 --> 00:19:20,920 Oh, wait! 554 00:19:20,922 --> 00:19:22,622 - I guess make that six... - And besides 555 00:19:22,624 --> 00:19:25,493 attempted murder on a black guy, you're under arrest for 556 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:28,930 violating the Exotic Fish and Wildlife Importation Act. 557 00:19:28,932 --> 00:19:32,334 - Yeah whatever, Dudley Douchebag... - Plus you already 558 00:19:32,336 --> 00:19:32,801 used that once. 559 00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:35,403 It was good enough to merit seconds! 560 00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:36,104 You hear that? 561 00:19:36,106 --> 00:19:37,539 They called you exotic! 562 00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:38,107 RROWR! 563 00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:41,343 Which is just people talk for awesome, which is what you are, 564 00:19:41,345 --> 00:19:44,146 which is why I was happy to save your life, buddy. 565 00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:44,980 Rrowr? 566 00:19:44,982 --> 00:19:47,783 No don't worry, probably just thousands of dollars in fines, 567 00:19:47,785 --> 00:19:53,754 maybe a little jail time, hopefully just probation. 568 00:19:53,756 --> 00:19:54,788 Totally worth it. 569 00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:56,490 Rrowr? 570 00:19:56,492 --> 00:19:57,258 No, Babou. 571 00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:59,030 That was all sarcasm. 572 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,047 Rrowr? 573 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,464 Yes, all of it! 574 00:20:03,466 --> 00:20:05,334 You fox-eared asshole! 575 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:15,929 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 40276

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