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1
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:11,135
Encoded by ? jDev. ?
2
00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:57,974
Yeah.
Feel nice and tired.
3
00:01:58,019 --> 00:02:00,612
But, I don't think
I've ever felt this way before.
4
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,866
Yeah.
Move over.
5
00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:04,493
Oh!
6
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,566
Hello, Mr. Humpty
7
00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:10,118
Oh.
8
00:02:18,245 --> 00:02:19,912
Mom...
9
00:02:21,152 --> 00:02:22,647
Sorry.
10
00:02:23,242 --> 00:02:24,715
Where should we get to?
11
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,345
- See "the looking-glass".
- Hhh.
12
00:02:29,944 --> 00:02:33,555
I'll tell all my ideas about
the little looking-glass house.
13
00:02:34,134 --> 00:02:35,722
What is a looking-glass?
14
00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:38,194
It's a mirror.
Like that one.
15
00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:43,365
Mom...
16
00:02:45,074 --> 00:02:47,862
I'm sorry.
Right.
17
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,038
First, there's a room
you can see through the glass.
18
00:02:51,106 --> 00:02:54,073
There is a room through the glass.
I've seen it.
19
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,137
Look at you?
20
00:02:55,235 --> 00:02:57,190
I expect it is probably
like this room, isn't it?
21
00:02:57,228 --> 00:02:58,449
Just the other way around.
22
00:02:58,494 --> 00:03:00,899
No, different.
Completely different.
23
00:03:00,952 --> 00:03:01,978
You look.
24
00:03:02,151 --> 00:03:03,642
Go over there and
look through there?
25
00:03:03,695 --> 00:03:05,335
- Let's look on your face...
- Please...
26
00:03:05,409 --> 00:03:07,508
Oh, you're such mean bully.
27
00:03:07,591 --> 00:03:09,315
- Go on.
- All right.
28
00:03:15,726 --> 00:03:17,206
Can you see it?
29
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,381
I see you...
30
00:03:19,478 --> 00:03:20,962
and me.
31
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:24,356
I rather not see me at the moment.
32
00:03:24,446 --> 00:03:27,181
What's about the room?
The one with the glass?
33
00:03:27,525 --> 00:03:30,733
No, just this one.
And all of your things.
34
00:03:31,084 --> 00:03:33,100
You're not looking hard enough.
35
00:03:33,182 --> 00:03:36,502
You got to believe it
before you can see it.
36
00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:53,618
First, there's room
you can see through the glass.
37
00:03:53,836 --> 00:03:57,470
That's the same as our drawing one.
And all the things go the other way.
38
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,455
I know that because I held up
one of our books to the glass,
39
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,010
and then they hold one up
in the other room.
40
00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:12,714
How nice it would be if any we could
get into the looking-glass house?
41
00:04:12,799 --> 00:04:14,811
Go on, try.
42
00:04:19,506 --> 00:04:21,220
Go on, try.
43
00:04:42,053 --> 00:04:45,427
They didn't keep this room
nearly as tidy as they should.
44
00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:56,608
Here are the White Queen and
the White King walking arm in arm.
45
00:04:57,195 --> 00:04:59,173
I don't think they can hear me.
46
00:04:59,345 --> 00:05:01,668
And I'm nearly sure they can't see me.
47
00:05:02,022 --> 00:05:05,047
I feel somehow as if
I would get invisible.
48
00:05:06,362 --> 00:05:09,120
Aaaah!
It's the voice of my child.
49
00:05:09,188 --> 00:05:13,302
My precious Lily.
My imperial little kitten.
50
00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:19,423
I'm coming.
51
00:05:19,483 --> 00:05:20,547
Ah.
52
00:05:22,765 --> 00:05:23,724
Ah.
53
00:05:23,896 --> 00:05:25,094
Ohhh!
54
00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:32,940
Mind the volcano!
55
00:05:33,008 --> 00:05:34,268
What volcano?
56
00:05:34,348 --> 00:05:36,417
It blew me up here.
57
00:05:36,477 --> 00:05:38,560
You come up the regular way.
58
00:05:38,612 --> 00:05:41,085
Don't get blown up!
59
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,396
You'll be hours and hours
getting to the table at that rate.
60
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:50,310
I'd better help you, hadn't I?
61
00:05:50,408 --> 00:05:52,187
Uh-ah.
Oh oh!
62
00:05:52,659 --> 00:05:54,626
Oh, please, don't make such faces.
63
00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:57,548
Make me laugh so much,
I can hardly hold you.
64
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,232
Water.
65
00:06:03,099 --> 00:06:04,449
I assure you, my dear.
66
00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:06,720
I turned cold to the very end
of my whiskers.
67
00:06:06,763 --> 00:06:09,872
- Huh, call those whiskers?
- Oh the horror of that moment,
68
00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,970
I shall never, never forget it.
69
00:06:12,053 --> 00:06:15,670
You will forget it if you don't
write it down in the memorandum.
70
00:06:21,953 --> 00:06:23,085
Ah.
71
00:06:28,557 --> 00:06:30,271
"The Jabberwocky."
72
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,775
"Twas brillig, and slithy toves,"
73
00:06:33,799 --> 00:06:36,828
"Did gyre and gimble in the wabe."
74
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:40,135
It's rather hard to understand.
75
00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:43,987
Seem to fill my head with ideas.
76
00:06:44,496 --> 00:06:46,931
Only I don't exactly know
what they are?
77
00:06:47,135 --> 00:06:49,742
If I don't make haste, I shall have
to go back through the looking-glass,
78
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:52,257
before I've seen what the rest
of the house is like.
79
00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:53,952
Have a look at the garden first.
80
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:55,773
My dear, I really must
get the thinner pencil.
81
00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:57,084
I can't manage this one a bit.
82
00:06:57,122 --> 00:06:59,767
It writes all manner
of things I don't intend.
83
00:06:59,955 --> 00:07:01,737
What sort of things?
84
00:07:02,776 --> 00:07:07,327
'The White Knight slid down the poker.
He balanced very badly."
85
00:07:07,522 --> 00:07:09,886
That's not a memorandum of your feelings.
86
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:11,166
Uh, oh.
87
00:07:35,408 --> 00:07:39,394
I should see the garden far better
if I could get to the top of that hill.
88
00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:42,570
And here is the path
that leads straight to it.
89
00:08:05,097 --> 00:08:06,652
O Tiger-lily,
90
00:08:06,743 --> 00:08:08,679
I wish you could talk.
91
00:08:12,802 --> 00:08:13,926
We can.
92
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:15,935
When there's anybody worth talking to.
93
00:08:15,965 --> 00:08:17,006
Exactly.
94
00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:19,702
- Ooh, ogle her.
- Ooh, ogle her.
95
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,543
How is it you all talk so nicely?
96
00:08:22,708 --> 00:08:25,562
I've been in many gardens,
but, none of the flowers could talk.
97
00:08:25,659 --> 00:08:29,264
Put your hand on the ground.
Then you'll know why.
98
00:08:29,946 --> 00:08:32,366
In most gardens,
they make the beds too soft.
99
00:08:32,419 --> 00:08:34,384
So, the flowers are always asleep.
100
00:08:34,482 --> 00:08:35,913
I've never thought of that before.
101
00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:38,064
It's my opinion that
you never think at all.
102
00:08:38,109 --> 00:08:39,949
- Absolutely.
- Ooh.
103
00:08:40,356 --> 00:08:42,971
Are there any other people
in the garden besides me?
104
00:08:43,032 --> 00:08:46,313
There's one of the flowers in the garden
that can move about like you.
105
00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:49,574
But, she's more bushy than you are.
106
00:08:49,619 --> 00:08:50,968
So, she's not like me?
107
00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:53,134
Well, she has the same
awkward shape as you,
108
00:08:53,164 --> 00:08:55,801
but, she is redder and
her petals are shorter.
109
00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:59,149
Yes, not tumble about, naturally.
110
00:08:59,194 --> 00:09:01,503
But, that's not your fault.
111
00:09:04,204 --> 00:09:05,983
You're beginning to fade,
you know?
112
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,691
- Hhh!!!
- You are.
113
00:09:07,774 --> 00:09:11,872
And then one can't help
one's petals getting a little untidy.
114
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:36,023
Where do you come from?
Where are you going?
115
00:09:36,069 --> 00:09:37,635
Look up.
Speak nicely.
116
00:09:37,695 --> 00:09:40,355
And don't twiddle
your fingers all the time.
117
00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:44,672
I've lost my way.
118
00:09:44,696 --> 00:09:47,707
I don't know what you mean by "your way"?
All the ways about here are mine.
119
00:09:47,784 --> 00:09:49,807
But, why did you come out here at all?
120
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:53,044
Curtsey while you try to think what to say.
It saves time.
121
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,861
It's time for you to answer now.
122
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,063
Open your mouth a little wider
when you speak.
123
00:09:58,109 --> 00:10:01,053
And always say: Your Majesty.
124
00:10:01,526 --> 00:10:04,336
I only wanted to see
what the garden was like.
125
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,232
- Your Majesty.
- That's right.
126
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,446
Now, when you say "garden",
127
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:14,654
I've seen gardens, compare with which
this would be a wilderness.
128
00:10:14,976 --> 00:10:17,238
And then I thought I'd try
to get to the top of that hill.
129
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,650
When you say "hill",
130
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:23,483
I could show you hills, in comparison
with which you'd call that a "valley".
131
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,168
No, I shouldn't.
132
00:10:25,252 --> 00:10:28,953
A hill can't be a valley, you know?
That would be nonsense.
133
00:10:36,061 --> 00:10:38,562
You may call it "nonsense" if you like.
134
00:10:38,645 --> 00:10:40,391
But, I've heard nonsense,
135
00:10:40,437 --> 00:10:44,115
compare with which that would be
as sensible as a dictionary!
136
00:10:49,624 --> 00:10:52,551
It's marked out just like
a large chessboard.
137
00:10:53,732 --> 00:10:58,092
It's a great huge game of chess
that is being played all over the world.
138
00:10:58,402 --> 00:11:01,307
O how I wish
I was one of the players.
139
00:11:02,576 --> 00:11:05,266
That's easily managed.
140
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:10,342
You can be the White Queen's pawn
since Lily's too young to play.
141
00:11:26,096 --> 00:11:29,972
Now, you're in the second square
to begin with.
142
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:33,917
When you get to the eighth square,
you'll be a Queen.
143
00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:35,462
Queen?
144
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,339
- Are you thirsty?
- Terribly.
145
00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:39,867
Have a biscuit.
146
00:11:41,961 --> 00:11:47,116
While you're refreshing yourself,
I'll just take the measurements.
147
00:11:48,194 --> 00:11:50,724
After two yards,...
148
00:11:51,641 --> 00:11:54,095
I should give you directions.
149
00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:57,535
- Have another biscuit.
- No, thank you.
150
00:11:57,625 --> 00:11:59,596
Thirst quelched, I hope?
151
00:11:59,779 --> 00:12:02,011
After three yards,
152
00:12:02,086 --> 00:12:05,188
I should repeat the directions
for fearing you'd forgotten them.
153
00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:08,477
After four yards,
I should say goodbye.
154
00:12:08,545 --> 00:12:11,318
And after five yards,
I should go.
155
00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:12,810
Now,...
156
00:12:13,177 --> 00:12:17,962
the pawn goes two squares
in its first move.
157
00:12:17,986 --> 00:12:23,801
So, you'll go very quickly through
the third square, by train, I should think.
158
00:12:23,891 --> 00:12:27,629
And find yourself in
the fourth square in no time.
159
00:12:27,658 --> 00:12:29,967
And that belongs to
Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
160
00:12:30,005 --> 00:12:32,575
The fifth square is mostly water.
161
00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:35,912
The sixth square belongs to Humpty Dumpty.
162
00:12:36,878 --> 00:12:39,074
But, you make no remark.
163
00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:41,793
I didn't know I had to make one,
just then.
164
00:12:41,838 --> 00:12:43,082
You should have said:
165
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:46,328
It's extremely nice of you
to tell me all this.
166
00:12:46,361 --> 00:12:49,448
However, we'll suppose it said.
167
00:12:49,555 --> 00:12:51,518
The seventh square is forest.
168
00:12:51,556 --> 00:12:54,096
However, one of the knights
will show you the way.
169
00:12:54,163 --> 00:12:58,696
And in the eighth square,
we'll be Queens together.
170
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:01,935
And it's all feasting and fun.
171
00:13:02,122 --> 00:13:06,341
Speak in French when you can't
think of the English for a thing.
172
00:13:06,478 --> 00:13:08,614
Turn your toes out when you walk.
173
00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:12,562
And remember...
who you are.
174
00:13:15,432 --> 00:13:16,759
Goodbye.
175
00:13:38,294 --> 00:13:39,786
Tickets, please!
176
00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:49,309
Where's your ticket, child?
177
00:13:49,339 --> 00:13:50,755
Don't keep him waiting, child.
178
00:13:50,779 --> 00:13:53,783
Why, his time is worth
a thousand pounds a minute.
179
00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:56,525
I'm afraid I don't have one.
180
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,447
There wasn't a ticket-office
where I came from.
181
00:13:59,484 --> 00:14:01,550
There wasn't room for one
where she came from.
182
00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:03,925
The land there is worth
a thousand pounds an inch.
183
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,491
Don't make excuses.
184
00:14:05,537 --> 00:14:07,807
You should have bought one
from the engine-driver.
185
00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:09,230
The man that drives the engine.
186
00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:12,310
Why, the smoke alone is worth
a thousand pounds a puff.
187
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:14,520
- I don't know what to say.
- Better say nothing at all.
188
00:14:14,557 --> 00:14:17,075
Language is worth
a thousand pounds a word.
189
00:14:17,099 --> 00:14:19,443
I'll dream about a thousand pounds,
tonight, I know I shall.
190
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,530
You are traveling the wrong way.
191
00:14:22,839 --> 00:14:23,888
Sorry, but...
192
00:14:23,941 --> 00:14:26,871
so young a child ought to know
which way she's going.
193
00:14:27,054 --> 00:14:29,192
Even if she doesn't know
her own name.
194
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,156
She ought to know her way
to the ticket-office,
195
00:14:31,224 --> 00:14:32,880
even if she doen't know her alphabet.
196
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:35,816
She'll have to go back,
from here as luggage.
197
00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:38,130
Lovely.
Like a parcel.
198
00:14:38,154 --> 00:14:39,607
Change engines.
199
00:14:39,659 --> 00:14:41,301
It sounds like a horse.
200
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,943
You might make a joke on that.
201
00:14:43,011 --> 00:14:45,138
Something about horse and hoarse,
you know?
202
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:47,761
She can go by post.
She's got a head like a stamp.
203
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:51,151
You could be sent as a message
by telegraph.
204
00:14:51,185 --> 00:14:55,497
She must draw the train herself
for the rest of the way.
205
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,719
Never mind what he says.
206
00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,881
Get a return ticket
every time the train stops.
207
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:01,901
Indeed, I shan't.
208
00:15:01,932 --> 00:15:04,839
I don't belong to
this railway journey at all.
209
00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:07,992
I was in the woods just now.
I wish I was back there.
210
00:15:08,053 --> 00:15:09,304
You might make a joke on that.
211
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:12,069
Something like,
you would if you could, you know?
212
00:15:12,143 --> 00:15:15,328
If you're so anxious to have a joke made,
why don't you make it yourself.
213
00:15:15,359 --> 00:15:18,407
I know you are a friend,
a dear friend and an old friend.
214
00:15:18,445 --> 00:15:21,134
And you won't hurt me.
Though I am an insect.
215
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,394
What kind of insect?
216
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:25,178
What? Then you don't know
that I'm a gnat?
217
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,305
It's only a brook.
218
00:15:26,329 --> 00:15:28,644
We have to jump over
to the fourth square.
219
00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:32,009
Fourth square?
Fourth square!
220
00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:36,062
Fourth square.
Who tends fourth square?
221
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,226
You don't like all insects?
222
00:15:40,579 --> 00:15:42,392
I like ones that can talk.
223
00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:44,789
None of them talk where I come from.
224
00:15:45,785 --> 00:15:49,126
What kind of insects
do you rejoice in?
225
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:52,416
I... I don't rejoice in insects at all.
226
00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:54,611
Because I'm rather afraid of them.
227
00:15:55,232 --> 00:15:57,168
At least, the large ones.
228
00:15:57,459 --> 00:15:59,872
But, I could tell you
the names of some of them.
229
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:02,541
And of course,
they answer to their names?
230
00:16:02,788 --> 00:16:04,152
I never knew them do it.
231
00:16:04,194 --> 00:16:07,065
What's the use to having names
if they don't answer to them?
232
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:08,855
Hmm.
No use to them.
233
00:16:08,892 --> 00:16:11,477
But, useful to the people
that name them, I suppose.
234
00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:14,588
If not, why do things have names at all?
235
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:15,801
I can't say.
236
00:16:15,876 --> 00:16:18,896
Furthermore, in the woods over there,
they have no names.
237
00:16:18,964 --> 00:16:21,451
Howver, go on with your list.
You're wasting time.
238
00:16:21,504 --> 00:16:24,350
Oh, um...
well, there's the horse-fly.
239
00:16:24,478 --> 00:16:27,647
Halfway up that bush,
you'll see a rocking-horse-fly,
240
00:16:27,677 --> 00:16:29,116
made entirely of wood,
241
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,068
and it gets about by swinging itself
from branch to branch.
242
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:33,671
What does it live on?
243
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:36,183
Sap and sawdust.
244
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,513
Go on with your list.
245
00:16:39,619 --> 00:16:43,221
Um, then there's the dragonfly.
246
00:16:43,245 --> 00:16:46,219
Look on the branch above your head,
you'll see a snap-dragonfly.
247
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,925
Its body is a cornish pasty.
248
00:16:49,015 --> 00:16:50,641
Its wings are holly leaves.
249
00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:54,110
And its head is a small raisin,
burning in brandy.
250
00:16:54,185 --> 00:16:55,541
And what does it live on?
251
00:16:55,601 --> 00:16:57,115
Frumenty and mince pie.
252
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:59,902
And it makes its nest in a Christmas box.
253
00:17:00,015 --> 00:17:02,195
And then there's the butterfly.
254
00:17:02,569 --> 00:17:03,880
- Crawling at your feet,
- Hmm.
255
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,760
you'll observe a bread-and-butterfly.
256
00:17:05,806 --> 00:17:08,151
Its wings are thin slice
of the bread-and-butter.
257
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:11,425
Its body is a crust,
and its head is a lump of sugar.
258
00:17:11,727 --> 00:17:13,613
And what does it live on?
259
00:17:13,703 --> 00:17:16,506
Weak tea with cream in it.
260
00:17:16,962 --> 00:17:18,723
But, suppose it couldn't find any?
261
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:20,926
Well, then it would die, of course.
262
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,972
That must happen very often?
263
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,198
But, it always happens.
264
00:17:30,224 --> 00:17:32,726
I suppose you wouldn't want
to lose your name?
265
00:17:32,808 --> 00:17:33,789
No, indeed.
266
00:17:33,842 --> 00:17:35,790
And yet, I don't know.
I mean,...
267
00:17:36,031 --> 00:17:39,374
imagine how convenient it would be
if you manage to go home without it.
268
00:17:39,398 --> 00:17:42,754
For instance, if the governess wanted
to call you to your lessons,
269
00:17:42,823 --> 00:17:45,055
she would shout out: Come here.
270
00:17:45,404 --> 00:17:48,138
And there she had to stop for
there would be no name for her to call.
271
00:17:48,162 --> 00:17:50,830
And of cause, you wouldn't have to go.
272
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,527
Oh, that would never do, I'm sure.
273
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,360
A governess wouldn't
excuse me lessons for that.
274
00:17:56,536 --> 00:17:59,526
Well, if she said 'Miss' and
then said nothing else,
275
00:17:59,587 --> 00:18:03,445
and of course,
you'd miss your lessons.
276
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,715
That was a joke.
277
00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:07,888
I wish you had made it.
278
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,567
Why do you wish I had made it?
It was very bad one.
279
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:15,972
You shouldn't make jokes
if it makes you so unhappy.
280
00:18:16,504 --> 00:18:17,935
Mmm.
281
00:18:34,885 --> 00:18:38,099
This must the wood
where things have no names.
282
00:18:38,279 --> 00:18:41,493
I wonder what'll become
of my name when I go in?
283
00:18:49,146 --> 00:18:51,741
Beware of the Jabberwock, my son.
284
00:18:51,872 --> 00:18:53,702
Jaws that bite.
285
00:19:18,568 --> 00:19:21,468
[The House of Tweedledum]
[To The House of Tweedledee]
286
00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:26,599
I do believe that they live
in the same house.
287
00:19:58,408 --> 00:20:01,991
I suppose they got the tweedle
on the back of the collar.
288
00:20:02,141 --> 00:20:04,269
If you think we're wax-works,
you ought to pay.
289
00:20:04,315 --> 00:20:07,318
Wax-works weren't made
to look at for nothing, all right?
290
00:20:07,813 --> 00:20:10,369
If you think we're alive,
you ought to speak.
291
00:20:10,436 --> 00:20:12,362
Sure, I'm very sorry.
292
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,605
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agree to have a battle.
293
00:20:15,644 --> 00:20:18,416
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
294
00:20:18,474 --> 00:20:21,209
I know what you're thinking,
but it ain't so, all right.
295
00:20:21,264 --> 00:20:23,539
Yeah? Because if it was so,
it might be.
296
00:20:23,585 --> 00:20:24,978
And if it was so,
it would be.
297
00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:26,656
But as it isn't, it ain't.
298
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,357
That's logic.
299
00:20:29,705 --> 00:20:30,896
I was thinking,
300
00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:33,348
which is the best way out
of these woods?
301
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:36,298
It's getting so dark.
302
00:20:36,815 --> 00:20:39,048
Would you please tell me, please?
303
00:20:41,049 --> 00:20:42,495
- First boy.
- Eh eh.
304
00:20:42,569 --> 00:20:44,458
- Next boy.
- I'm sorry.
305
00:20:44,892 --> 00:20:46,249
See, you've begun wrong.
306
00:20:46,294 --> 00:20:48,030
The first thing you do in the visit,
you say:
307
00:20:48,069 --> 00:20:50,144
- How d'ye do?
- And shake hands.
308
00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:04,604
Twas is really enough
for one dance.
309
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,787
It would never do to say
"How do you do?" now.
310
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,163
We seem to have got
beyond that, somehow.
311
00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:11,725
I hope you're not much tired.
312
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,501
No, all right.
But, uh...
313
00:21:13,696 --> 00:21:15,225
thank you very much for asking.
314
00:21:15,532 --> 00:21:17,307
So much obliged.
315
00:21:17,456 --> 00:21:19,053
So, you like poetry?
316
00:21:19,443 --> 00:21:20,902
Yes.
317
00:21:21,173 --> 00:21:22,492
Pretty well.
318
00:21:22,641 --> 00:21:24,394
Some poetry.
319
00:21:24,605 --> 00:21:26,164
Would you tell me
a way out of the wood?
320
00:21:26,194 --> 00:21:27,970
What shall I recite to her?
321
00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,066
"The Walrus and the Carpenter"
is the longest.
322
00:21:30,138 --> 00:21:31,251
How long is it?
323
00:21:31,295 --> 00:21:33,702
Tell you what?
We'll do "The Walrus and the Carpenter".
324
00:21:33,747 --> 00:21:34,742
Greet her.
325
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:36,817
If it is very long,
could you tell me first?
326
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:40,131
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
327
00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:42,339
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright.
328
00:21:42,376 --> 00:21:45,029
And this was odd,
Because it was the middle of the night.
329
00:21:45,808 --> 00:21:47,449
The moon was shining sulkily,
330
00:21:47,509 --> 00:21:50,087
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
331
00:21:50,132 --> 00:21:51,615
After the day was done.
332
00:21:51,809 --> 00:21:54,613
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"
333
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:57,759
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
334
00:21:57,797 --> 00:22:00,449
You could not see a cloud,
Because no cloud was in the sky:
335
00:22:00,621 --> 00:22:04,840
No birds were flying overhead.
There were no birds to fly.
336
00:22:05,327 --> 00:22:08,220
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
337
00:22:08,258 --> 00:22:11,531
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
338
00:22:11,774 --> 00:22:15,008
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"
339
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:19,863
"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
340
00:22:19,953 --> 00:22:21,524
- Do you suppose,"
- The Walrus said,
341
00:22:21,563 --> 00:22:23,534
"That they could get it clear?"
342
00:22:23,806 --> 00:22:27,680
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.
343
00:22:31,275 --> 00:22:35,637
"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
344
00:22:35,697 --> 00:22:39,975
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
345
00:22:40,210 --> 00:22:43,828
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."
346
00:22:43,965 --> 00:22:47,329
The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
347
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:50,911
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head
348
00:22:50,941 --> 00:22:53,653
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.
349
00:22:53,755 --> 00:22:57,226
But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
350
00:22:57,316 --> 00:22:59,406
Their coats were brushed,
their faces washed,
351
00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:01,161
Their shoes were clean and neat.
352
00:23:01,272 --> 00:23:04,276
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.
353
00:23:04,357 --> 00:23:06,628
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
354
00:23:06,681 --> 00:23:10,097
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more
355
00:23:10,471 --> 00:23:14,900
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
356
00:23:15,529 --> 00:23:18,496
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
357
00:23:18,585 --> 00:23:21,987
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
358
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:25,434
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.
359
00:23:25,577 --> 00:23:28,285
- "The time has come,"
- The Walrus said,
360
00:23:28,316 --> 00:23:30,654
"To talk of many things:
361
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:33,631
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
362
00:23:33,683 --> 00:23:37,924
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings."
363
00:23:37,976 --> 00:23:39,813
- "But wait a bit,"
- The Oysters cried,
364
00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,274
"Before we have our chat;
365
00:23:41,311 --> 00:23:44,203
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
366
00:23:44,278 --> 00:23:45,874
- "No hurry!"
- Said the Carpenter.
367
00:23:45,972 --> 00:23:47,943
They thanked him much for that.
368
00:23:48,062 --> 00:23:49,839
- "A loaf of bread,"
- The Walrus said,
369
00:23:49,891 --> 00:23:50,986
"Is what we chiefly need:
370
00:23:51,037 --> 00:23:55,197
Vinegar and Pepper besides
Are very good indeed
371
00:23:55,383 --> 00:23:57,998
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
372
00:23:58,672 --> 00:24:00,157
We can begin to feed."
373
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:03,580
"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
374
00:24:03,662 --> 00:24:07,042
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
375
00:24:07,521 --> 00:24:09,320
- "It seems a shame,"
- The Walrus said,
376
00:24:09,343 --> 00:24:10,391
"To play them such a trick,
377
00:24:10,429 --> 00:24:13,621
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
378
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:16,050
The Carpenter said nothing but
379
00:24:16,264 --> 00:24:18,323
"The butter's spread too thick!"
380
00:24:18,486 --> 00:24:20,448
- "I weep for you,"
- The Walrus said:
381
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:21,986
"I deeply sympathize."
382
00:24:22,026 --> 00:24:25,286
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
383
00:24:25,373 --> 00:24:28,882
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
384
00:24:28,957 --> 00:24:30,778
- "O Oysters,"
- Said the Carpenter,
385
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:33,660
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
386
00:24:33,691 --> 00:24:36,012
But answer came there none
387
00:24:36,816 --> 00:24:38,886
And this was scarcely odd, because
388
00:24:38,967 --> 00:24:41,919
They'd eaten every one.
389
00:24:44,819 --> 00:24:46,236
I like the Walrus best,
390
00:24:46,273 --> 00:24:49,000
because he was little sorry
for the poor oysters.
391
00:24:49,068 --> 00:24:51,031
He ate more than the Carpenter, though.
392
00:24:51,091 --> 00:24:52,530
You see?
393
00:24:52,776 --> 00:24:54,605
He hield his handkerchief in front,
394
00:24:54,643 --> 00:24:57,573
so that the Carpenter couldn't count
how many he took.
395
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,981
Know what I'm saying?
396
00:24:59,055 --> 00:25:00,593
That was mean.
397
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:04,586
Well then, I like the Carpenter best
if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus.
398
00:25:04,621 --> 00:25:06,719
But, he took as many
as he could get.
399
00:25:06,825 --> 00:25:09,852
Well then, they were both
very unpleasant characters.
400
00:25:13,693 --> 00:25:15,746
Are there any lions
or tigers about here?
401
00:25:15,851 --> 00:25:19,253
No, it's only the Red King, snoring.
402
00:25:19,944 --> 00:25:21,912
Come and have a look.
403
00:25:34,487 --> 00:25:36,068
What a lovely sight!
404
00:25:36,217 --> 00:25:37,866
Fit to snore his head off.
405
00:25:38,025 --> 00:25:41,342
I'm afraid he'll catch cold
with lying on the damp straw.
406
00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:43,126
He's dreaming now.
407
00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:45,373
What do you think
he's dreaming about?
408
00:25:45,658 --> 00:25:47,636
Nobody can guess that.
409
00:25:47,756 --> 00:25:49,382
Why, about you.
410
00:25:49,622 --> 00:25:53,889
If he left off dreaming about you,
where do you suppose you'd be?
411
00:25:54,137 --> 00:25:55,920
Where I am now, of course.
412
00:25:55,980 --> 00:25:58,872
Nah. God bless you.
Nah. Not you.
413
00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:00,655
You'd be nowhere.
414
00:26:00,738 --> 00:26:03,803
Why, you're only a sort of thing
in his dream.
415
00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:07,234
If that a King was to wake up there,
you'd disappear.
416
00:26:07,377 --> 00:26:09,476
Poof.
Just like that.
417
00:26:09,820 --> 00:26:10,891
Like that.
418
00:26:10,989 --> 00:26:12,593
No, not like that.
419
00:26:12,667 --> 00:26:13,642
Like that.
420
00:26:13,718 --> 00:26:15,358
Like that.
421
00:26:15,806 --> 00:26:17,754
If I'm just a sort of thing
in his dream,
422
00:26:17,815 --> 00:26:19,628
what does that make you,
I shall like to know?
423
00:26:19,666 --> 00:26:20,683
Ditto.
424
00:26:20,707 --> 00:26:22,429
A ditto.
Ditto!
425
00:26:22,535 --> 00:26:25,509
Harsh. You'll be waking him
if you make so much noise!
426
00:26:25,674 --> 00:26:28,529
Why, there's no use
you two talking about waking him
427
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,250
when you're only one
of the things in his dream.
428
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:33,025
You know very well
you're not real.
429
00:26:33,123 --> 00:26:34,577
I am real.
430
00:26:34,674 --> 00:26:36,577
I am real.
431
00:26:41,145 --> 00:26:43,536
You won't make yourself
a bit realer by crying.
432
00:26:43,574 --> 00:26:45,679
There's nothing to cry about.
433
00:26:48,621 --> 00:26:51,494
If I wasn't real,
I wouldn't be able to cry.
434
00:26:52,843 --> 00:26:56,260
I don't suppose you have
there are real tears?
435
00:26:57,714 --> 00:26:59,848
Well, at any rate,
I better be getting out of this wood.
436
00:26:59,872 --> 00:27:02,052
For really it's coming on very dark.
437
00:27:03,177 --> 00:27:05,161
You think it's going to rain?
438
00:27:05,544 --> 00:27:07,050
No, I don't think so.
439
00:27:07,267 --> 00:27:08,639
At least, it's not under here now.
440
00:27:08,699 --> 00:27:10,639
But, it may rain outside?
441
00:27:10,762 --> 00:27:11,899
Well, it may.
442
00:27:11,996 --> 00:27:13,944
If it chooses.
We have no objection.
443
00:27:13,959 --> 00:27:15,615
- Don't we?
- No.
444
00:27:15,892 --> 00:27:17,705
Selfish things.
445
00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:19,106
Oh?
446
00:27:19,735 --> 00:27:21,961
See that?
You see that?
447
00:27:22,021 --> 00:27:23,984
- You see it?
- It's only a rattle.
448
00:27:24,329 --> 00:27:26,284
Not a rattlesnake.
449
00:27:26,426 --> 00:27:28,442
Used rattle.
Quite old and broken.
450
00:27:28,540 --> 00:27:31,349
Shouldn't ruin it or spoiled it.
451
00:27:32,210 --> 00:27:34,884
You needn't to get so angry
about an old rattle.
452
00:27:35,091 --> 00:27:38,328
It's not an old rattle.
It's a new one.
453
00:27:38,427 --> 00:27:40,465
I only bought it yesterday!
454
00:27:40,524 --> 00:27:42,817
It's my nice new rattle.
455
00:27:42,915 --> 00:27:45,380
Of course, you agree to have a battle?
456
00:27:45,568 --> 00:27:47,313
I suppose so.
457
00:27:47,590 --> 00:27:50,452
Only she must help us
to get dress up though.
458
00:28:09,463 --> 00:28:12,654
I hope you're good at
pinning and tying things.
459
00:28:12,723 --> 00:28:14,889
Everyone of these has to go on somehow.
460
00:28:14,972 --> 00:28:16,432
Yeah.
461
00:28:20,663 --> 00:28:21,877
You know?
462
00:28:21,982 --> 00:28:25,038
It's one of most serious things
that can possibly happen in a battle,
463
00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:27,939
get one's head cut off.
464
00:28:28,141 --> 00:28:30,486
- Do I look pale?
- Oh, yes, a little.
465
00:28:30,531 --> 00:28:32,997
Yeah, I'm generally very brave.
But today, I have a bit headache.
466
00:28:33,087 --> 00:28:35,066
I... I've got a bit of toothache.
467
00:28:35,222 --> 00:28:37,043
I am far worse than you.
468
00:28:37,149 --> 00:28:39,022
Well then, perhaps,
you'd better not fight today.
469
00:28:39,095 --> 00:28:41,636
- Gone.
- Well, we'll get a bit of battle.
470
00:28:41,704 --> 00:28:44,245
But, I don't care for an hour
or long one. What's the time now?
471
00:28:44,303 --> 00:28:45,442
Half past four.
472
00:28:45,503 --> 00:28:47,743
Well, we'll fight till six
then have dinner, yeah?
473
00:28:47,795 --> 00:28:50,312
Yeah, well, yeah.
And she can watch us, so.
474
00:28:50,384 --> 00:28:52,415
Only you, you'd better
not come very close.
475
00:28:52,444 --> 00:28:54,730
I mean I generally hit
everything I can see.
476
00:28:54,767 --> 00:28:56,438
When I get really excited.
477
00:28:56,498 --> 00:28:59,016
Yeah, and I hit everything within reach,
whether I can see or not.
478
00:28:59,062 --> 00:29:01,512
Well then, you must hit
the trees very often.
479
00:29:02,058 --> 00:29:05,296
I don't suppose there'll be any tree
eft standing by the time we've finished.
480
00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:06,854
All the best.
481
00:29:06,878 --> 00:29:10,705
Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
482
00:29:10,756 --> 00:29:15,661
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.
483
00:29:16,309 --> 00:29:17,770
Sounds like a crow.
484
00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:19,845
Slowly.
Just a step back or so.
485
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,553
Don't run.
Don't run!
486
00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,127
Run!
487
00:29:37,278 --> 00:29:39,001
Crow can never get at me here.
488
00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,511
It's far too large to squeeze itself in.
489
00:30:06,866 --> 00:30:08,237
Oh!
490
00:30:09,361 --> 00:30:10,350
Oh!
491
00:30:10,425 --> 00:30:12,763
Oh, I'm, I'm very glad
I happened to be in the way.
492
00:30:12,882 --> 00:30:14,921
Bread and butter.
Bread and butter.
493
00:30:15,064 --> 00:30:16,772
Bread and butter!
494
00:30:16,937 --> 00:30:18,728
Am I addressing the White Queen?
495
00:30:18,781 --> 00:30:22,617
Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing?
It isn't my notion of the thing at all.
496
00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:25,539
Well, if Your Majesty will only
tell me the right way to begin, then
497
00:30:25,584 --> 00:30:26,723
I'll do it as well as I can.
498
00:30:26,755 --> 00:30:28,686
But, I don't want it done at all.
499
00:30:28,717 --> 00:30:32,193
I've been a-dressing myself
for the past two hours.
500
00:30:32,304 --> 00:30:35,376
- May I help you put your shawl straight?
- I don't know what's mater with it.
501
00:30:35,432 --> 00:30:38,137
It's out of temper, I hink.
I pin it here,
502
00:30:38,212 --> 00:30:40,588
and I pin it there,
but there's no pleasing it.
503
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:44,963
Well, it, it can't go straight, you know,
if you, you pin it all on one side.
504
00:30:45,383 --> 00:30:46,642
There.
505
00:30:46,709 --> 00:30:48,859
Oh, dear me.
What a state your hair is in?
506
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:51,362
The hair brush has got entangled in it.
507
00:30:51,462 --> 00:30:54,097
And I lost the comb yesterday.
508
00:30:54,337 --> 00:30:56,600
What you need is a lady's maid.
509
00:30:57,028 --> 00:30:58,122
Well,...
510
00:30:58,173 --> 00:31:00,301
I'll take you with pleasure.
511
00:31:00,377 --> 00:31:03,396
Twopence a week,
and jam every other day.
512
00:31:03,478 --> 00:31:05,524
No, I don't mean you should hire me.
513
00:31:05,562 --> 00:31:06,828
And I don't care for jam.
514
00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:09,414
It's very good jam.
515
00:31:09,945 --> 00:31:12,358
Well, I don't want any today,
at any rate.
516
00:31:12,553 --> 00:31:14,920
Well, you couldn't have it
even if you did want it.
517
00:31:15,138 --> 00:31:21,073
The rule is, jam tomorrow and
jam yesterday, but never jam today.
518
00:31:21,657 --> 00:31:22,714
But,...
519
00:31:22,759 --> 00:31:25,093
it, it must come sometimes to jam today.
520
00:31:25,148 --> 00:31:30,145
Oh, no, it can't.
It's jam every other day.
521
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,142
I don't understand you.
It's dreadfully confusing.
522
00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:37,690
That's the effect of living backwards.
It makes one a little giddy to begin with.
523
00:31:37,743 --> 00:31:39,684
Living backwards?
I've never hread of such thing.
524
00:31:39,708 --> 00:31:44,172
But, there is one great advantage.
In that, one's memory works both ways.
525
00:31:44,226 --> 00:31:46,369
Well, I'm sure,
mine only works one way.
526
00:31:46,407 --> 00:31:48,347
I can't remember things
before they happen.
527
00:31:48,392 --> 00:31:53,202
It's a poor sort of memory
that only works... ha ha... backwards.
528
00:31:56,454 --> 00:31:58,244
What sort of things
do you remember best?
529
00:31:58,297 --> 00:32:01,923
Oh, things that happen
the week after next.
530
00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,627
For instance,
there's the King's messenger.
531
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:06,524
He is in prison,
being punished.
532
00:32:06,569 --> 00:32:09,169
And the trial doesn't even begin
till next Wednesday; and of course,
533
00:32:09,207 --> 00:32:11,588
the crime comes last of all.
534
00:32:11,642 --> 00:32:13,569
Suppose he never commits the crime?
535
00:32:13,620 --> 00:32:16,085
Well, that would be
all the better, wouldn't it?
536
00:32:17,190 --> 00:32:18,875
Well, of course,
it would be all the better.
537
00:32:18,899 --> 00:32:20,996
But, it wouldn't be all the better
his being punished.
538
00:32:21,026 --> 00:32:22,643
You're wrong there, at any rate.
539
00:32:22,698 --> 00:32:23,873
Were you never punished?
540
00:32:23,903 --> 00:32:24,885
Only for fault.
541
00:32:24,923 --> 00:32:26,601
And you were all the better for it, I know.
542
00:32:26,631 --> 00:32:28,834
Oh, yes. But then, I'd done
the things I was punished for.
543
00:32:28,858 --> 00:32:29,943
That makes all the difference.
544
00:32:29,981 --> 00:32:33,943
But, if you hadn't done them,
that would have been better still.
545
00:32:34,127 --> 00:32:35,349
Better.
546
00:32:35,684 --> 00:32:36,853
Better.
547
00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:43,820
Better. Better. Better.
Better. Better. Bet...ter!
548
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,690
Oh, oh! My finger's bleeding.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
549
00:32:46,749 --> 00:32:48,068
What's matter?
You've pricked it?
550
00:32:48,099 --> 00:32:49,560
I haven't yet.
But, I soon shall.
551
00:32:49,605 --> 00:32:50,826
Well, when do expect to do it?
552
00:32:50,864 --> 00:32:54,416
When I fasten my shawl again,
the brooch would come undone directly.
553
00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:57,466
But, be careful.
You're holding it all crooked.
554
00:33:00,337 --> 00:33:02,841
That accounts for the bleeding.
555
00:33:03,165 --> 00:33:06,283
Now, you understand
how we do things here?
556
00:33:06,449 --> 00:33:08,729
Well, aren't you going to scream again?
557
00:33:08,940 --> 00:33:10,199
Why?
558
00:33:10,623 --> 00:33:12,353
I've done all the screaming already.
559
00:33:12,384 --> 00:33:15,410
What would be the good
of having it all over again?
560
00:33:15,618 --> 00:33:17,381
Well, I'm glad.
561
00:33:18,003 --> 00:33:20,408
I wish I could've managed to be glad.
562
00:33:20,475 --> 00:33:22,281
But, I can never remember the rules.
563
00:33:22,326 --> 00:33:27,182
You must be happy, living here
and being glad whenever you like?
564
00:33:27,237 --> 00:33:29,811
Yes.
Only it's so very lonely here.
565
00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:32,974
Oh...
566
00:33:33,034 --> 00:33:35,753
Don't go on like that.
567
00:33:35,965 --> 00:33:39,003
Consider what a great girl you are.
568
00:33:39,146 --> 00:33:42,900
Consider what a long way
you've come today.
569
00:33:43,158 --> 00:33:45,070
Consider what o'clock it is.
570
00:33:45,309 --> 00:33:49,722
Consider anything.
Only, don't cry.
571
00:33:49,790 --> 00:33:51,948
Can you keep from crying
by considering things?
572
00:33:52,001 --> 00:33:53,243
That's the way it's done.
573
00:33:53,296 --> 00:33:55,979
No-one can do two things at once,
you know?
574
00:33:56,053 --> 00:33:59,208
Now, let's consider
your age to begin with.
575
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:00,662
How old are you?
576
00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:02,325
I'm seven and a half, exactly.
577
00:34:02,370 --> 00:34:04,962
You don't have to say "exactly".
I can believe it without that.
578
00:34:05,082 --> 00:34:06,955
Now, I'll give you something to believe.
579
00:34:07,038 --> 00:34:08,409
I'm just...
580
00:34:08,485 --> 00:34:12,305
one hundred and one,
five months and a day.
581
00:34:12,447 --> 00:34:14,418
Oh, I can't believe that.
582
00:34:14,606 --> 00:34:16,127
Can't you?
583
00:34:16,194 --> 00:34:18,210
Try again.
584
00:34:19,093 --> 00:34:22,142
Draw long breath, and shut your eyes.
585
00:34:22,277 --> 00:34:25,619
There is no use trying.
One can't believe impossible things.
586
00:34:25,657 --> 00:34:27,298
I daresay you haven't had
much practice.
587
00:34:27,344 --> 00:34:30,042
When I was your age,
I did for half an hour every day.
588
00:34:30,086 --> 00:34:37,316
Why sometimes, I believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
589
00:34:39,398 --> 00:34:41,959
There goes my shawl again!
590
00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:49,411
I hope your finger is better now.
591
00:35:15,762 --> 00:35:17,627
What is it you wish to buy?
592
00:35:18,145 --> 00:35:19,268
Um...
593
00:35:19,321 --> 00:35:21,420
I don't quite know yet.
594
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:24,297
I should like to look
all around me first if I might.
595
00:35:24,386 --> 00:35:25,944
You may look in front of you.
596
00:35:26,005 --> 00:35:27,391
Or on both sides if you like.
597
00:35:27,414 --> 00:35:31,347
But, you can't look behind you, unless
you have eyes in the back of your head.
598
00:35:34,862 --> 00:35:37,047
Things flow about so here.
599
00:35:39,258 --> 00:35:40,756
It's the most provoking.
600
00:35:40,807 --> 00:35:43,453
Are you a child or a spinning top?
You make me giddy.
601
00:35:43,494 --> 00:35:45,057
Turning around like that.
602
00:35:45,289 --> 00:35:46,466
Um...
603
00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:48,390
I should like to buy...
604
00:35:48,517 --> 00:35:50,870
an egg, please.
605
00:35:52,605 --> 00:35:54,423
How do you sell them?
606
00:35:56,019 --> 00:36:00,253
Fivepence farting for one,
twopence for two.
607
00:36:00,388 --> 00:36:01,760
Then two is cheaper than one?
608
00:36:01,790 --> 00:36:05,147
But, you must eat them both
if you buy two.
609
00:36:05,530 --> 00:36:06,864
Then I'll have one, please.
610
00:36:06,894 --> 00:36:08,932
They might not be at all nice,
you know.
611
00:36:12,596 --> 00:36:15,151
I've never put things
into people's hands.
612
00:36:17,409 --> 00:36:19,174
That would never do.
613
00:36:27,279 --> 00:36:29,279
You must get it yourself.
614
00:36:31,032 --> 00:36:33,333
I wonder why it wouldn't do?
615
00:36:36,285 --> 00:36:40,819
Oh, the egg seems to get further away
the more I walk towards it.
616
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:51,858
How very odd to find trees growing here.
617
00:36:52,548 --> 00:36:55,754
Well, this's the very queerest shop
I ever saw.
618
00:37:26,311 --> 00:37:27,849
Humpty Dumpty.
619
00:37:28,036 --> 00:37:30,007
It can't be anybody else.
620
00:37:30,197 --> 00:37:32,404
And how exactly like an egg he is.
621
00:37:32,486 --> 00:37:35,649
It's very provoking
to be called an egg.
622
00:37:35,716 --> 00:37:36,856
Very.
623
00:37:36,944 --> 00:37:39,477
I said you looked like an egg, sir.
624
00:37:39,605 --> 00:37:42,234
And, and some eggs are very pretty,
you know?
625
00:37:42,302 --> 00:37:46,400
Some people have no more
sense than a baby.
626
00:37:47,174 --> 00:37:51,027
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
627
00:37:51,104 --> 00:37:53,251
All the King's horses
and all the King's men
628
00:37:53,289 --> 00:37:55,724
Couldn't put Humpty in his place again.
629
00:37:56,398 --> 00:37:59,284
That last line is much
too long for a poetry.
630
00:38:00,902 --> 00:38:02,745
Why do you sit out here all alone?
631
00:38:02,813 --> 00:38:04,192
Why?
632
00:38:04,304 --> 00:38:06,424
Because there is nobody with me,
of course.
633
00:38:06,476 --> 00:38:08,701
Well, don't you think you'll be
much safer on the ground?
634
00:38:08,791 --> 00:38:10,043
That wall is very narrow.
635
00:38:10,081 --> 00:38:15,221
What tremendously easy riddles, you ask.
Why, of course, I don't think so.
636
00:38:15,318 --> 00:38:18,248
Why, if I did fall,
which there's no chance of.
637
00:38:18,354 --> 00:38:20,954
But, if I did, if I did fall,
638
00:38:21,051 --> 00:38:23,388
the King has promised me...
639
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:27,465
ahhhh... you didn't think
I was going to say that, did you?
640
00:38:27,689 --> 00:38:30,746
The King has promised me,
with his very own mouth,
641
00:38:30,792 --> 00:38:33,692
- to...
- Send all his horses and all his men.
642
00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:36,000
Now, I declare that's too bad.
643
00:38:36,053 --> 00:38:38,773
You've been listening at doors,
and behind trees, and down chimneys
644
00:38:38,802 --> 00:38:41,177
- or you couldn't have known it.
- I haven't indeed. It's in the book.
645
00:38:41,223 --> 00:38:43,815
Well, they may write
such thing in the book.
646
00:38:44,745 --> 00:38:46,782
Now, take a good look at me.
647
00:38:46,857 --> 00:38:50,049
I'm one that has spoken to the King, I am.
648
00:38:50,123 --> 00:38:54,559
And to show I'm not proud,
you may shake hands with me.
649
00:38:59,897 --> 00:39:01,778
How old did you say you were?
650
00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,636
I'm uh seven years and six months.
651
00:39:03,673 --> 00:39:05,142
You never said a word like it.
652
00:39:05,225 --> 00:39:07,038
Yeah, but, I thought
you meant how old am I.
653
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,992
If I meant that,
I'd have said it.
654
00:39:10,050 --> 00:39:15,329
Now, if you'd ask my advice,
I'd have said: Leave off at "seven".
655
00:39:15,407 --> 00:39:17,048
But, it's too late now.
656
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:19,416
You seem very good at explaining things.
657
00:39:19,503 --> 00:39:22,840
I wonder would you tell me, please,
the meaning of the poem "Jabberwocky"?
658
00:39:23,117 --> 00:39:27,178
I can explain every poem
that were invented.
659
00:39:27,291 --> 00:39:31,231
And a good deal
that haven't been invented yet.
660
00:39:31,971 --> 00:39:37,091
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves.
661
00:39:41,474 --> 00:39:46,265
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
662
00:39:46,431 --> 00:39:51,380
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
663
00:39:51,814 --> 00:39:56,624
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
664
00:39:56,684 --> 00:40:01,029
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!
665
00:40:03,304 --> 00:40:08,603
He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought
666
00:40:08,845 --> 00:40:14,320
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.
667
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:20,614
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
668
00:40:20,746 --> 00:40:25,759
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
669
00:40:26,623 --> 00:40:31,769
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
670
00:40:31,877 --> 00:40:36,327
He left it dead, and with its head
He left it dead, and with its head
671
00:40:37,495 --> 00:40:42,119
And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
672
00:40:42,232 --> 00:40:47,705
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!�
He chortled in his joy.
673
00:40:47,853 --> 00:40:53,303
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
674
00:40:53,459 --> 00:41:00,082
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
675
00:41:03,052 --> 00:41:06,601
Plenty of hard words there
for you, huh, huh?
676
00:41:07,620 --> 00:41:09,950
Well, Briling means 4 o'clock
in the afternoon,
677
00:41:10,003 --> 00:41:12,108
the time when you start
broiling things for dinner.
678
00:41:12,142 --> 00:41:14,596
That would do very well.
And, and "slithy"?
679
00:41:14,620 --> 00:41:17,834
Well, "slithy" means "lithe and slimy".
680
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:20,410
You see, it's like a portmanteau,
681
00:41:20,455 --> 00:41:22,666
there're two meanings
packed up into one word.
682
00:41:22,740 --> 00:41:24,523
I can see that now.
683
00:41:24,643 --> 00:41:27,145
Hhh, what's "gyre" and "gimble"?
684
00:41:27,206 --> 00:41:28,764
To gyre...
685
00:41:28,832 --> 00:41:31,567
is to go round and round
like a gyroscope.
686
00:41:31,609 --> 00:41:34,362
To gimble is to make a hole like a gimlet.
687
00:41:34,412 --> 00:41:37,883
And a wabe is a grass-plot
around a sundial, I suppose.
688
00:41:37,987 --> 00:41:39,177
Well, of course, it is.
689
00:41:39,230 --> 00:41:40,436
It's called the wabe
690
00:41:40,488 --> 00:41:44,182
because it goes a long way before it
and the long way behind it.
691
00:41:44,220 --> 00:41:46,512
And the long way
beyond it on each side?
692
00:41:46,536 --> 00:41:47,531
Exactly.
693
00:41:47,561 --> 00:41:50,319
And "mimsy" means
"flimsy" and "miserable".
694
00:41:50,378 --> 00:41:52,558
There's another portmanteau for you.
695
00:41:52,619 --> 00:41:54,080
And a "borogove", ooh,
696
00:41:54,140 --> 00:41:57,032
a thin, shabby-looking bird with
feathers sticking out all around.
697
00:41:57,070 --> 00:41:58,770
Something like a live mop.
698
00:41:58,823 --> 00:42:00,442
And what's "outgrabe"?
699
00:42:00,478 --> 00:42:02,531
Well, "outgribing"
700
00:42:02,584 --> 00:42:05,027
is something between
bellowing and whistling,
701
00:42:05,087 --> 00:42:06,832
with a sort of sneeze in the middle.
702
00:42:06,907 --> 00:42:11,118
However, you�ll hear it done,
maybe, down in the wood yonder.
703
00:42:11,192 --> 00:42:13,073
And once you�ve heard it,
704
00:42:13,291 --> 00:42:15,486
you�ll be quite content.
705
00:42:15,996 --> 00:42:18,117
That's all.
Goodnight.
706
00:42:20,451 --> 00:42:22,122
Goodbye.
Till we meet again.
707
00:42:22,182 --> 00:42:24,122
Well, I should know you again
if we did meet.
708
00:42:24,302 --> 00:42:26,206
You're so like other people.
709
00:42:26,274 --> 00:42:29,668
Two eyes, so, nose in the middle,
mouth under.
710
00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:31,249
It's always the same.
711
00:42:31,294 --> 00:42:35,049
Now, if you have the two eyes
on the same side of your nose,
712
00:42:35,101 --> 00:42:37,716
and the mouth on top,
that would be some help.
713
00:42:37,753 --> 00:42:38,922
But, it wouldn't look nice.
714
00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:41,746
Wait!
Till you've tried.
715
00:42:42,885 --> 00:42:44,136
Goodbye.
716
00:42:54,082 --> 00:42:56,217
All the unsatisfactory...
717
00:42:58,917 --> 00:43:02,326
All the unsatisfactory people
I've ever met.
718
00:43:03,348 --> 00:43:06,742
Wait.
Till you've tried.
719
00:44:31,985 --> 00:44:34,070
I've sent them all.
720
00:44:35,633 --> 00:44:38,511
Did you happen to meet any soldier,
my dear, as you came through the woods?
721
00:44:38,781 --> 00:44:42,092
Yes, I did.
Several thousand, I should think?
722
00:44:42,271 --> 00:44:44,492
Four thousand, two hundred and seven.
723
00:44:44,778 --> 00:44:46,232
That's the axact number.
724
00:44:47,488 --> 00:44:49,091
I couldn't send all the horses,
you know,
725
00:44:49,121 --> 00:44:51,362
because two of them
are wanted in the game.
726
00:44:51,643 --> 00:44:53,646
I haven't sent the two messengers either.
727
00:44:53,737 --> 00:44:55,534
They're both gone to town.
728
00:44:56,194 --> 00:45:00,293
Just... look around along the road
and tell me if you can see either of them.
729
00:45:02,115 --> 00:45:04,265
I see nobody on the road.
730
00:45:04,715 --> 00:45:07,458
I only wish I had such eyes
to be able to see "nobody".
731
00:45:07,615 --> 00:45:09,541
And at that distance too.
732
00:45:10,036 --> 00:45:14,269
Why, it's as much as I can do to see
real people, by this light.
733
00:45:14,515 --> 00:45:16,853
No, I can see somebody now.
734
00:45:17,295 --> 00:45:19,475
But, he's coming very slowly.
735
00:45:19,534 --> 00:45:21,970
What curious attitudes he goes into!
736
00:45:22,023 --> 00:45:23,259
Not at all.
737
00:45:23,364 --> 00:45:27,410
He's an Anglo-Saxon messenger
and those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes.
738
00:45:29,087 --> 00:45:31,097
He only does them when he's happy.
739
00:45:31,576 --> 00:45:34,978
Hie name is Haigha.
740
00:45:35,202 --> 00:45:36,177
With an "H".
741
00:45:36,201 --> 00:45:39,264
I love my love with an "H",
because he is happy.
742
00:45:39,523 --> 00:45:42,727
I hate him with an H,
because he is hideous.
743
00:45:42,803 --> 00:45:47,195
I feed him with
ham sanwiches and hay.
744
00:45:47,404 --> 00:45:49,104
His name is Haigha...
745
00:45:49,150 --> 00:45:51,480
- and he lives in...
- He lives on the hill.
746
00:45:51,925 --> 00:45:53,646
The other messenger is called Hatta.
747
00:45:53,754 --> 00:45:56,069
I must have two, you know,
to come and go.
748
00:45:56,700 --> 00:45:58,632
One to come, one to go.
749
00:45:58,759 --> 00:46:00,056
I beg your pardon?
750
00:46:00,166 --> 00:46:02,204
It isn't respectable to beg.
751
00:46:02,422 --> 00:46:05,621
No, I mean I don't understand.
Why one to come and one to go?
752
00:46:05,651 --> 00:46:06,949
But, don't I tell you?
753
00:46:07,016 --> 00:46:09,039
I must have two,
to fetch and carry.
754
00:46:09,208 --> 00:46:11,465
One to fetch, one to carry.
755
00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,614
This young lady loves you with an H.
756
00:46:19,521 --> 00:46:22,130
You alarm me.
I feel faint.
757
00:46:22,386 --> 00:46:24,468
Give me a ham sandwich.
758
00:46:29,939 --> 00:46:33,005
- Another sandwich.
- There's nothing but hay left now.
759
00:46:33,168 --> 00:46:34,802
Hay then.
760
00:46:39,507 --> 00:46:41,822
Nothing like eating hay when you faint.
761
00:46:42,130 --> 00:46:44,827
I should think throwing cold water
over you would be better.
762
00:46:44,864 --> 00:46:48,295
I didn't say there was nothing better.
I said there was nothing like it.
763
00:46:48,415 --> 00:46:50,843
- Who did you pass on the road?
- Nobody.
764
00:46:50,941 --> 00:46:53,203
Quite right.
This young lady saw him too.
765
00:46:53,346 --> 00:46:56,133
So, of course,
nobody walks slower than you.
766
00:46:56,215 --> 00:46:57,714
I do my best.
767
00:46:57,827 --> 00:47:00,097
I'm sure nobody walks
much fater than I do.
768
00:47:00,156 --> 00:47:03,538
He can't do that.
Or else he'd have been here first.
769
00:47:05,161 --> 00:47:06,989
However, now you got your breath,
770
00:47:07,050 --> 00:47:08,975
you may tell us
what's happening in the town.
771
00:47:09,052 --> 00:47:11,016
I'll whisper it.
772
00:47:11,414 --> 00:47:13,212
They're at it again!!!
773
00:47:13,301 --> 00:47:14,620
You call that a whisper?
774
00:47:14,681 --> 00:47:16,720
If you do such thing again,
I'll have you buttered.
775
00:47:16,771 --> 00:47:18,921
It went through and through
my head like an earthquake!
776
00:47:18,981 --> 00:47:20,870
It would have to be
a very tiny earthquake.
777
00:47:20,931 --> 00:47:22,025
Huh?
778
00:47:22,183 --> 00:47:23,755
Who are at it again?
779
00:47:23,912 --> 00:47:26,273
Why, the Lion and the Unicorn,
of course.
780
00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:28,138
- Fighting for the crown?
- Yes.
781
00:47:28,205 --> 00:47:32,250
To be sure, and the best of the joke is,
it's my crown, all the while.
782
00:47:32,318 --> 00:47:34,139
Let's run and see them.
783
00:48:05,991 --> 00:48:08,516
You're... my prisoner.
784
00:48:18,394 --> 00:48:21,313
- Ahoy! Ahoy!
- Check!
785
00:48:31,797 --> 00:48:34,226
She's my prisoner.
You know?
786
00:48:34,317 --> 00:48:37,202
Yes.
But, I came and rescued her.
787
00:48:37,358 --> 00:48:40,514
Well, we must fight for her then.
788
00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:42,656
You'll observe the Rule of Battle,
of course?
789
00:48:45,850 --> 00:48:47,376
I always do.
790
00:48:59,899 --> 00:49:03,654
What I wonder now,
what the Rules of Battle are?
791
00:49:07,524 --> 00:49:08,888
One rule seems to be that...
792
00:49:08,948 --> 00:49:12,552
if one knight hits the other,
he knocks him off his horse.
793
00:49:16,739 --> 00:49:19,541
And if he misses it,
he tumbles off himself.
794
00:49:23,755 --> 00:49:25,613
And another rule seems to be
that they...
795
00:49:25,755 --> 00:49:27,876
hold their clubs with their arms
as if they are...
796
00:49:28,167 --> 00:49:30,034
Punch and Judy.
797
00:49:34,489 --> 00:49:38,013
And another rule seems to be that
they always fall on their heads.
798
00:49:45,798 --> 00:49:47,567
Battle's over.
799
00:50:00,968 --> 00:50:02,391
Oh.
800
00:50:05,855 --> 00:50:09,781
That was a glorious...
801
00:50:10,119 --> 00:50:12,208
victory, wasn't it?
802
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:13,310
Well, I don't know.
803
00:50:13,334 --> 00:50:14,892
I don't want to be anybody's prisoner.
804
00:50:14,936 --> 00:50:17,507
- I want to be a Queen.
- So you will be.
805
00:50:18,062 --> 00:50:20,632
When you've crossed the next brook.
806
00:50:21,499 --> 00:50:23,740
I'll see you save
to the end of the wood.
807
00:50:23,891 --> 00:50:25,396
And...
808
00:50:25,591 --> 00:50:27,921
then I must go back, you know?
809
00:50:28,273 --> 00:50:30,311
That's the end of my move.
810
00:50:30,420 --> 00:50:32,200
Thank you very much.
811
00:50:32,237 --> 00:50:34,171
Would you like me
to help you off with your helmet?
812
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,687
Yes, please.
813
00:50:52,676 --> 00:50:55,958
I see you're admiring my little box.
814
00:50:57,005 --> 00:50:58,752
It's my own invention.
815
00:50:58,991 --> 00:51:01,067
To keep clothes and sandwiches in.
816
00:51:01,411 --> 00:51:04,235
I carry it upside down,
you see?
817
00:51:04,333 --> 00:51:06,432
So, the rain can't get it.
818
00:51:06,558 --> 00:51:08,566
But, the things can get out.
819
00:51:08,686 --> 00:51:10,657
Do you know the lid's open?
820
00:51:12,343 --> 00:51:14,276
No, I didn't know it.
821
00:51:14,538 --> 00:51:17,086
That means all the things had fallen out.
822
00:51:18,512 --> 00:51:21,015
The box is no use without them.
823
00:51:35,215 --> 00:51:36,535
Can you...?
824
00:51:37,675 --> 00:51:40,171
Can you guess why I did that?
825
00:51:41,796 --> 00:51:45,303
I hope some bees may make a nest in it.
826
00:51:45,595 --> 00:51:47,581
Then I should get the honey.
827
00:51:48,356 --> 00:51:50,244
But, you've got a beehive.
828
00:51:50,305 --> 00:51:54,193
Or something very like one,
fastened to the saddle.
829
00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:00,805
Yes, I have.
830
00:52:01,727 --> 00:52:05,331
It's a very good beehive.
One of the very best kind.
831
00:52:05,488 --> 00:52:07,961
But not a single bee has come near it yet.
832
00:52:08,141 --> 00:52:09,527
Um...
833
00:52:09,890 --> 00:52:12,075
And the other thing is a mouse-trap.
834
00:52:12,761 --> 00:52:15,916
I suppose the mice keep the bees out,
or the bees keep the mice out.
835
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,587
Or the other,
I don't know which.
836
00:52:17,744 --> 00:52:20,142
Ah, I was wondering
what the mouse-trap's for.
837
00:52:20,261 --> 00:52:23,102
It isn't very likely there would be
any mice on the horse's back.
838
00:52:23,131 --> 00:52:24,697
Not very likely, perhaps.
839
00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:25,762
But, if they do come,
840
00:52:25,807 --> 00:52:28,728
I don't choose to have them
running all about.
841
00:52:29,261 --> 00:52:31,929
It's as well to be provided
for everyhting, you see.
842
00:52:32,101 --> 00:52:33,682
I mean that's the reason...
843
00:52:33,757 --> 00:52:36,403
the horse has these anklets
round his feet.
844
00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:39,623
What are they for?
845
00:52:40,940 --> 00:52:44,074
To guard against the bites of sharks.
846
00:52:46,075 --> 00:52:49,154
It's an invention of my own.
And now, help me on, please.
847
00:52:49,312 --> 00:52:51,889
I'll walk with you to the end of the food.
848
00:52:52,975 --> 00:52:54,632
What's that dish for?
849
00:52:54,827 --> 00:52:56,108
Um...
850
00:52:56,244 --> 00:52:58,364
it's meant for plum cake.
851
00:52:58,662 --> 00:53:00,266
Ah, we'd better take it with us.
852
00:53:00,297 --> 00:53:02,747
It might come in handly
if we find any plum cake.
853
00:53:02,853 --> 00:53:05,024
Help me to get it into this thing.
854
00:53:06,170 --> 00:53:08,897
Yes, hold it tight, please.
855
00:53:08,987 --> 00:53:12,187
There're a lot of candlesticks in here.
856
00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:18,135
Have you got your hair well fastened on?
857
00:53:18,218 --> 00:53:19,957
Only in the usual way.
858
00:53:20,016 --> 00:53:23,680
That's hardly enough.
The wind is so very strong here.
859
00:53:23,940 --> 00:53:25,416
It's as strong as soup.
860
00:53:25,484 --> 00:53:28,063
Have you invented a plan for keeping
the hair from being blown off?
861
00:53:28,100 --> 00:53:29,380
Not yet.
862
00:53:29,515 --> 00:53:32,062
But, I've got a plan
for keeping it from falling off.
863
00:53:32,151 --> 00:53:34,153
Well, I should like to hear it,
very much.
864
00:53:34,228 --> 00:53:36,558
Well first, you take an upright stick.
865
00:53:36,626 --> 00:53:39,354
Then you make your hair creep up it,
like a fruit tree.
866
00:53:39,458 --> 00:53:42,028
Now, the reason hair falls off is
because it hangs down.
867
00:53:42,103 --> 00:53:44,561
Things never fall off upwards.
868
00:53:44,883 --> 00:53:47,311
You see, it's a plan of my own invention.
869
00:53:50,308 --> 00:53:52,518
You may try it if you like.
870
00:53:53,158 --> 00:53:56,163
I'm afraid you haven't had
much practice in riding.
871
00:53:56,298 --> 00:53:57,947
What makes you think that?
872
00:53:58,089 --> 00:54:01,858
Because people don't fall off quite
so often when they've had much practice.
873
00:54:05,447 --> 00:54:08,183
I've had plenty of practice.
874
00:54:08,393 --> 00:54:09,840
Plenty of practice.
875
00:54:14,375 --> 00:54:16,336
Plenty of practice.
876
00:54:16,404 --> 00:54:17,970
Indeed.
877
00:54:33,799 --> 00:54:36,911
The great art of riding's he...
878
00:54:37,444 --> 00:54:39,136
The great art of...
879
00:54:40,822 --> 00:54:43,362
I hope no bones are broken?
880
00:54:46,371 --> 00:54:48,153
None to speak of.
881
00:54:50,904 --> 00:54:52,792
Mmm...
882
00:54:52,656 --> 00:54:55,302
It's too ridiculous.
883
00:54:55,355 --> 00:54:58,074
You ought to have a wooden horse
on wheels, that you ought.
884
00:54:58,126 --> 00:55:01,736
- Does that kind go smoothly?
- Much more smootly than a live horse.
885
00:55:01,766 --> 00:55:02,938
Well then, I'll get one.
886
00:55:03,027 --> 00:55:05,561
Well, one or two.
Several.
887
00:55:06,509 --> 00:55:09,447
I'm a great hand at inventing things,
you know?
888
00:55:09,665 --> 00:55:13,276
I daresay you noticed,
the last time you picked me up,
889
00:55:13,366 --> 00:55:15,344
I was looking rather thoughtful.
890
00:55:15,509 --> 00:55:17,488
You were a little grave.
891
00:55:17,623 --> 00:55:19,945
Just then, I was thinking a new way
of getting over the gate.
892
00:55:19,975 --> 00:55:22,186
- Would you like to hear it?
- Very much, indeed.
893
00:55:22,253 --> 00:55:24,560
But uh, I'll tell you
how I came to think of it.
894
00:55:25,774 --> 00:55:27,835
You see, I said to myself.
895
00:55:27,895 --> 00:55:31,776
The only difficulty is with the feet.
The head is high enough already.
896
00:55:31,971 --> 00:55:32,938
Now...
897
00:55:33,015 --> 00:55:36,368
First, I put my... head on the gate.
898
00:55:36,489 --> 00:55:38,099
Then the head's high.
899
00:55:38,817 --> 00:55:42,123
Then I stand on my head,
my feet are high now.
900
00:55:42,401 --> 00:55:43,488
You see?
901
00:55:43,537 --> 00:55:45,960
And I'm over.
You see?
902
00:55:47,459 --> 00:55:50,433
I suppose you'd be over
by the time you'd done that, but...
903
00:55:50,621 --> 00:55:52,921
don't you think it would be rather hard?
904
00:55:55,725 --> 00:55:58,692
Well, I haven't tried it yet,
so I can't tell for certain.
905
00:55:58,925 --> 00:56:00,049
But,...
906
00:56:00,125 --> 00:56:02,029
I'm afraid it would be a little hard.
907
00:56:05,750 --> 00:56:09,017
How can you go on talking so quietly,
head downwards?
908
00:56:09,063 --> 00:56:11,902
What does it matter where my body...
909
00:56:11,933 --> 00:56:14,009
- Argh... Oh...
- happens to be?
910
00:56:14,877 --> 00:56:18,452
My mind goes on working all the same.
911
00:56:19,028 --> 00:56:22,497
In fact, the more head-downwards
I happen to be,
912
00:56:22,550 --> 00:56:24,865
the more I keep inventing new thngs.
913
00:56:25,457 --> 00:56:28,544
The cleverest thing I ever did...
914
00:56:33,375 --> 00:56:36,814
The cleverest thing
I ever did... of the sort...
915
00:56:37,077 --> 00:56:39,670
was inventing a new pudding
during the meat cource.
916
00:56:39,715 --> 00:56:41,736
In time to have it cooked
for the next course?
917
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:43,431
Well, that was quick work, certainly.
918
00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:45,193
No, not the next course.
919
00:56:45,230 --> 00:56:47,305
Certainly, not the next course.
920
00:56:47,351 --> 00:56:48,940
Then it would have to be the next day?
921
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:52,385
I suppose, you wouldn't have
two pudding-courses in one dinner?
922
00:56:52,633 --> 00:56:55,306
No, not the next day.
923
00:56:56,186 --> 00:56:58,163
No, not the next day.
924
00:57:00,590 --> 00:57:01,924
In fact,...
925
00:57:02,388 --> 00:57:04,278
I don't believe
that pudding ever was cooked.
926
00:57:04,307 --> 00:57:06,585
In fact, I don't believe
that pudding ever will be cooked.
927
00:57:06,682 --> 00:57:10,143
And yet, it was a very
clever pudding to invent.
928
00:57:12,190 --> 00:57:14,377
What did you mean it to be made of?
929
00:57:15,435 --> 00:57:17,329
It began with blotting-paper.
930
00:57:17,427 --> 00:57:19,614
That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid.
931
00:57:19,674 --> 00:57:21,180
Not very nice alone.
932
00:57:21,203 --> 00:57:22,799
You've no idea
the difference it makes,
933
00:57:22,836 --> 00:57:26,043
mixing it with other things
like gunpowder and sealing-wax.
934
00:57:27,576 --> 00:57:29,437
And here, I must leave you.
935
00:57:36,112 --> 00:57:37,716
You're sad.
936
00:57:41,098 --> 00:57:43,081
Let me tell you a tale...
937
00:57:43,291 --> 00:57:44,700
to comfort you.
938
00:57:45,104 --> 00:57:46,730
Is it very long?
939
00:57:46,843 --> 00:57:48,821
Yes, it's long.
940
00:57:49,570 --> 00:57:51,518
But, it's very, very beautiful.
941
00:57:52,522 --> 00:57:54,785
Everybody that hears me say it,
942
00:57:54,943 --> 00:57:57,873
it either brings the tears
into their eyes, or else...
943
00:57:57,984 --> 00:57:59,663
Or else what?
944
00:58:01,405 --> 00:58:03,248
Or else, it doesn't, you know?
945
00:58:05,318 --> 00:58:07,931
The name of the tale is called
"Haddocks' Eyes".
946
00:58:08,734 --> 00:58:10,629
That's the name of the tale, is it?
947
00:58:11,981 --> 00:58:14,098
No, it's something quite different.
948
00:58:15,529 --> 00:58:17,342
That's what the name of the tale is called.
949
00:58:17,388 --> 00:58:21,052
The name really is: The Aged, Aged Man.
950
00:58:21,441 --> 00:58:26,184
Oh! So, I ought to have said:
That's what the tale is called?
951
00:58:26,970 --> 00:58:28,619
No, you oughtn't.
952
00:58:28,717 --> 00:58:30,545
That's quite another thing.
953
00:58:30,919 --> 00:58:33,159
The tale is called...
954
00:58:33,925 --> 00:58:36,936
Ways and Means.
But, that's only what the tale is called.
955
00:58:37,132 --> 00:58:38,795
- You see?
- Hmm...
956
00:58:38,862 --> 00:58:40,721
What is the tale then?
957
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:42,691
I'm coming to that.
958
00:58:45,674 --> 00:58:48,407
The tale really is...
959
00:58:50,088 --> 00:58:52,066
A-sitting On a Gate.
960
00:58:54,133 --> 00:58:57,872
I'll tell thee everything I can:
There's little to relate.
961
00:58:58,687 --> 00:59:02,075
I saw an aged, aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
962
00:59:02,866 --> 00:59:05,588
"Who are you, aged man?" I said,
963
00:59:07,318 --> 00:59:09,372
"And how is it you live?"
964
00:59:09,796 --> 00:59:13,432
And his answer trickled through my head,
Like water through a sieve.
965
00:59:14,157 --> 00:59:19,472
He said "I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat,
966
00:59:19,685 --> 00:59:23,620
I turn them into mutton-pies,
Ans sell them in the streets.
967
00:59:24,334 --> 00:59:27,644
I sell them unto men," he said,
"Who sail on stormy seas;
968
00:59:27,854 --> 00:59:31,902
And that's the way I get my bread
A trifle, if you please."
969
00:59:33,740 --> 00:59:37,735
But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
970
00:59:38,034 --> 00:59:41,412
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
971
00:59:42,217 --> 00:59:45,454
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
972
00:59:45,776 --> 00:59:49,612
I cried "Come, tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head.
973
00:59:50,962 --> 00:59:54,858
His accents mild took up the tale:
He said "I go my ways,
974
00:59:55,060 --> 00:59:58,769
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
975
00:59:58,980 --> 01:00:02,810
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowlands' Macassar-Oil
976
01:00:03,476 --> 01:00:06,900
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil."
977
01:00:09,710 --> 01:00:14,955
But I was thinking of a way
To feed oneself on batter,
978
01:00:15,112 --> 01:00:19,496
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
979
01:00:20,874 --> 01:00:25,730
I shook him well from side to side,
Until his face was blue:
980
01:00:25,906 --> 01:00:31,428
"Come, tell me how you live," I cried,
"And what it is you do!"
981
01:00:33,332 --> 01:00:38,985
He said "I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
982
01:00:39,235 --> 01:00:44,060
And work them into waistcoat-buttons
In the silent night.
983
01:00:45,402 --> 01:00:50,924
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
984
01:00:51,471 --> 01:00:55,653
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.
985
01:00:56,716 --> 01:01:01,787
"I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs:
986
01:01:02,136 --> 01:01:07,088
I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of Hansom-cabs.
987
01:01:07,470 --> 01:01:11,015
And that's the way" he gave a wink
"By which I get my wealth
988
01:01:11,330 --> 01:01:15,646
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour's noble health."
989
01:01:20,282 --> 01:01:25,617
I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
990
01:01:26,156 --> 01:01:31,012
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
991
01:01:32,578 --> 01:01:37,051
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
992
01:01:37,342 --> 01:01:42,315
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health.
993
01:01:45,108 --> 01:01:48,064
And now, if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
994
01:01:48,117 --> 01:01:52,687
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
995
01:01:53,113 --> 01:01:55,737
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
996
01:01:55,775 --> 01:02:00,270
I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know
997
01:02:01,027 --> 01:02:07,089
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
998
01:02:07,201 --> 01:02:11,546
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
999
01:02:11,682 --> 01:02:16,200
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
1000
01:02:16,260 --> 01:02:20,418
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
1001
01:02:20,515 --> 01:02:22,995
Who snorted like a buffalo
1002
01:02:24,158 --> 01:02:26,383
That summer evening long ago,
1003
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:29,297
A-sitting on a gate.
1004
01:02:42,098 --> 01:02:44,466
You've only a few yards to go now.
1005
01:02:45,081 --> 01:02:48,609
Down the hill and over that brook,
and you'll be a Queen.
1006
01:02:48,934 --> 01:02:50,763
But, I need you...
1007
01:02:50,913 --> 01:02:53,146
to stay and see me off first.
1008
01:02:53,220 --> 01:02:55,176
I, I shan't be long.
1009
01:02:55,858 --> 01:03:00,144
You'll wait and wave your handkershief
when I get to that turn in the road.
1010
01:03:01,133 --> 01:03:03,597
I think it'll encourage me, you see?
1011
01:03:03,957 --> 01:03:05,546
Of course, I will.
1012
01:03:05,751 --> 01:03:07,913
And thank you so much
for coming this far.
1013
01:03:07,989 --> 01:03:09,315
And for the tale.
1014
01:03:09,404 --> 01:03:11,195
I liked it very much.
1015
01:03:11,353 --> 01:03:12,843
I hope so.
1016
01:03:14,132 --> 01:03:16,815
But, you didn't cry so much
as I thought you would.
1017
01:03:27,542 --> 01:03:31,331
It won't take long to see him off,
I expect.
1018
01:03:32,626 --> 01:03:34,276
There he goes.
1019
01:03:34,344 --> 01:03:36,479
Right on his head as usual.
1020
01:03:37,281 --> 01:03:39,888
However, he gets on again pretty easily.
1021
01:03:40,001 --> 01:03:43,171
That comes of haing so many things
hung around the horse.
1022
01:03:52,101 --> 01:03:54,342
I hope it encouraged him.
1023
01:03:56,372 --> 01:03:59,539
And now for the final brook
and to be a Queen.
1024
01:03:59,672 --> 01:04:02,107
How grand it sounds!
1025
01:04:19,752 --> 01:04:22,352
My old bones.
1026
01:04:24,226 --> 01:04:26,518
My old bones.
1027
01:04:26,848 --> 01:04:29,275
My old bones.
1028
01:04:29,410 --> 01:04:30,819
Oh.
1029
01:04:31,664 --> 01:04:34,737
It's rheumatism, I should think.
1030
01:04:35,355 --> 01:04:37,019
I hope you're not in much pain?
1031
01:04:37,102 --> 01:04:40,434
Oh,... dear, indeed.
1032
01:04:40,676 --> 01:04:42,690
Can I do anything for you?
1033
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:44,258
Yeah.
1034
01:04:47,518 --> 01:04:49,465
Aren't you rather cold here?
1035
01:04:49,533 --> 01:04:50,844
How you go along!
1036
01:04:50,897 --> 01:04:54,419
Worrity, worrity.
There never was such a child!
1037
01:04:55,243 --> 01:04:57,266
Won't you let me walk you
round to the other side?
1038
01:04:57,318 --> 01:04:59,485
- Ohh...
- You�ll be out of the cold wind there.
1039
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:03,155
Worrity, worrity, worrity!
1040
01:05:03,939 --> 01:05:06,306
Can�t you leave a body alone?
1041
01:05:06,468 --> 01:05:08,259
Would you like me
to read you a bit of this?
1042
01:05:08,289 --> 01:05:12,522
You may read it if you�ve a mind to,
Nobody�s hindering you that I know of.
1043
01:05:22,324 --> 01:05:23,599
Latest News.
1044
01:05:23,652 --> 01:05:26,398
The Exploring Party have made
another tour in the Pantry,
1045
01:05:26,445 --> 01:05:28,999
and have found
five new lumps of white sugar.
1046
01:05:29,164 --> 01:05:31,255
Large and in fine condition.
1047
01:05:31,447 --> 01:05:33,980
- In coming back,...
- Any brown sugar?
1048
01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:37,093
N... no.
It says nothing about brown.
1049
01:05:37,138 --> 01:05:38,861
No brown sugar.
1050
01:05:38,995 --> 01:05:41,367
A nice exploring party.
1051
01:05:42,528 --> 01:05:45,200
In coming back,
they had a sad accident.
1052
01:05:45,246 --> 01:05:47,367
Two of their party were engulfed.
1053
01:05:48,106 --> 01:05:49,389
Where what?
1054
01:05:49,554 --> 01:05:50,910
Engulfed.
1055
01:05:51,450 --> 01:05:53,886
There's no such word in the language.
1056
01:05:54,254 --> 01:05:55,767
But, it's in this paper.
1057
01:05:55,811 --> 01:05:57,699
Let it stop there.
1058
01:06:01,292 --> 01:06:03,057
You're not well at all.
1059
01:06:03,154 --> 01:06:05,365
Can I do anything for you?
1060
01:06:07,894 --> 01:06:10,790
It�s all along of the wig.
1061
01:06:11,390 --> 01:06:12,364
Along of the wig?
1062
01:06:12,402 --> 01:06:15,308
You would be cross too
if you had a wig like mine.
1063
01:06:15,451 --> 01:06:17,743
They jokes at one.
And they worrits one.
1064
01:06:17,804 --> 01:06:20,404
And then I gets cross.
And I gets cold.
1065
01:06:20,450 --> 01:06:22,226
And I gets under a tree.
1066
01:06:22,359 --> 01:06:25,409
And I gets a yellow handkerchief.
1067
01:06:25,492 --> 01:06:27,823
And I ties up my face.
1068
01:06:28,017 --> 01:06:30,333
As at the present.
1069
01:06:30,538 --> 01:06:32,898
Tying up the face is very good
for the toothache.
1070
01:06:32,932 --> 01:06:34,929
And it�s very good for the conceit.
1071
01:06:34,997 --> 01:06:36,315
Is that a kind of toothache?
1072
01:06:36,376 --> 01:06:38,421
Well, no.
1073
01:06:38,579 --> 01:06:44,656
It�s when you hold your head up,
so, without bending your neck.
1074
01:06:44,861 --> 01:06:46,214
Oh, you mean stiff-neck.
1075
01:06:46,253 --> 01:06:48,291
Oh, that�s a new fangled name.
1076
01:06:48,362 --> 01:06:50,616
It was called "conceit" in my day.
1077
01:06:50,692 --> 01:06:52,249
Conceit isn�t a disease at all.
1078
01:06:52,273 --> 01:06:53,869
It is, though.
1079
01:06:54,116 --> 01:06:56,252
Wait till you have it,
and then you�ll know.
1080
01:06:56,343 --> 01:06:58,284
And when you catches it,...
1081
01:06:58,404 --> 01:07:00,180
just try...
1082
01:07:00,270 --> 01:07:02,526
tying a yellow handkerchief...
1083
01:07:02,629 --> 01:07:04,346
round your face.
1084
01:07:04,473 --> 01:07:07,882
It will cure you in no time!
1085
01:07:13,907 --> 01:07:16,117
Your wig would be much neater
if you have a comb.
1086
01:07:16,170 --> 01:07:19,152
What?
You�re a Bee, are you?
1087
01:07:19,287 --> 01:07:21,647
And you�ve got a comb.
1088
01:07:21,722 --> 01:07:22,831
Mmm-hhh.
1089
01:07:22,891 --> 01:07:24,471
Much honey?
1090
01:07:24,549 --> 01:07:27,655
Not that sort of comb.
It�s to comb hair with.
1091
01:07:28,195 --> 01:07:30,766
Your wig is so very rough, you know?
1092
01:07:31,390 --> 01:07:34,228
I�ll tell you...
1093
01:07:34,505 --> 01:07:37,150
how I came to put it on.
1094
01:07:40,211 --> 01:07:46,321
�When I was young, my ringlets waved
And curled and crinkled on my head:
1095
01:07:46,593 --> 01:07:52,428
And then they said �You should be shaved,
And wear a yellow wig instead.�
1096
01:07:52,874 --> 01:07:57,030
But when I followed their advice,
And they had witnessed the effect,
1097
01:07:57,156 --> 01:08:01,664
They said I did not look so nice
As they had ventured to expect.
1098
01:08:02,076 --> 01:08:08,425
They said the wig did not fit, and so
It made me look extremely plain:
1099
01:08:08,637 --> 01:08:13,471
But what was I to do, you know?
My ringlets would not grow again.
1100
01:08:14,038 --> 01:08:20,153
And now that I am old and grey,
And all my hair is nearly gone,
1101
01:08:20,360 --> 01:08:26,230
They take my wig from me and say
�How can you put such rubbish on?�
1102
01:08:26,881 --> 01:08:32,171
And still, whenever I appear,
They hoot at me and call me �Pig!�
1103
01:08:32,842 --> 01:08:38,397
And that is why they do it, dear,
Because I wear a yellow wig.�
1104
01:08:40,801 --> 01:08:43,155
I am very sorry for you.
1105
01:08:43,709 --> 01:08:44,998
And I think...
1106
01:08:45,051 --> 01:08:49,135
if your wig fitted a little better, then
they wouldn�t tease you quite so much.
1107
01:08:49,246 --> 01:08:52,408
Your wig fits very well.
1108
01:08:52,499 --> 01:08:55,338
It�s the shape of your head that does it.
1109
01:08:55,503 --> 01:08:58,230
Your jaws are not well shaped, though.
1110
01:08:58,298 --> 01:09:01,228
I should think you couldn�t bite well.
1111
01:09:01,542 --> 01:09:05,692
- I can bite anything I want.
- Not with a mouth as small as that.
1112
01:09:06,609 --> 01:09:08,483
If you was a fighting now,
1113
01:09:08,558 --> 01:09:11,930
Could you get hold of the other one
by the back of the neck?
1114
01:09:12,250 --> 01:09:13,436
I�m afraid not.
1115
01:09:13,481 --> 01:09:15,916
Well, that�s because
your jaws are too short.
1116
01:09:16,051 --> 01:09:20,204
But, the top of your head
is nice and smooth.
1117
01:09:21,222 --> 01:09:23,177
Then, your eyes...
1118
01:09:23,799 --> 01:09:26,055
they�re too much in front.
1119
01:09:27,185 --> 01:09:31,794
One would have done as well as two,
if you must have them so close.
1120
01:09:33,577 --> 01:09:37,039
I think I must be going on now.
Goodbye.
1121
01:09:37,608 --> 01:09:39,287
Goodbye.
1122
01:09:39,429 --> 01:09:41,317
And thank-ye.
1123
01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:50,879
And now for the last brook,
and to be a Queen.
1124
01:09:50,963 --> 01:09:52,971
How grand it sounds!
1125
01:09:53,138 --> 01:09:55,372
The eighth square at last.
1126
01:10:12,889 --> 01:10:14,815
Well, it is grand.
1127
01:10:15,408 --> 01:10:18,390
I never expected to be a Queen so soon.
1128
01:10:18,659 --> 01:10:20,854
And I'll tell you what to do, Your Majesty.
1129
01:10:20,938 --> 01:10:23,860
It'll never do for you
to be lolling about like that.
1130
01:10:24,081 --> 01:10:26,399
Queens have to be dignified, you know?
1131
01:10:27,089 --> 01:10:29,083
I really am a Queen.
1132
01:10:37,868 --> 01:10:41,330
- Please, would you tell me...?
- Speak when you're spoken to.
1133
01:10:41,803 --> 01:10:43,503
But, if everybody obeyed that rule,
1134
01:10:43,549 --> 01:10:45,355
and if you only spoke
when you were spoken to,
1135
01:10:45,379 --> 01:10:47,348
and you always waited for
the other person to begin,
1136
01:10:47,369 --> 01:10:50,262
- then nobody would ever say anything.
- Ridiculous.
1137
01:10:50,589 --> 01:10:52,725
What do you mean
if you were really a Queen?
1138
01:10:52,838 --> 01:10:55,378
You can't be a Queen untill
you've passed the proper examination.
1139
01:10:55,437 --> 01:10:58,434
And the sooner we begin it, the better.
1140
01:10:59,237 --> 01:11:00,914
I only said "if".
1141
01:11:01,169 --> 01:11:04,085
She says she only said "if".
1142
01:11:04,183 --> 01:11:09,345
But, she said more than that.
Oh, ever so much more than that.
1143
01:11:09,393 --> 01:11:11,753
So, you did, you know?
1144
01:11:11,859 --> 01:11:13,484
Think before you speak.
1145
01:11:13,507 --> 01:11:16,856
Always speak the truth
and write it down afterwards..
1146
01:11:16,955 --> 01:11:20,454
- I'm sure, I didn't mean...
- That's just what I complain of.
1147
01:11:20,491 --> 01:11:22,154
You should have mant.
1148
01:11:22,316 --> 01:11:25,797
What do you suppose is the use
of the child without any meaning?
1149
01:11:25,834 --> 01:11:27,977
Even a joke should have some meaning.
1150
01:11:28,015 --> 01:11:30,585
And a child is more important
than a joke, I hope.
1151
01:11:30,637 --> 01:11:33,612
You couldn't deny that,
even if you try with both hands.
1152
01:11:33,678 --> 01:11:35,792
I don't deny things with my hands.
1153
01:11:35,859 --> 01:11:38,272
No-one said you did.
I said you couldn't if you tried.
1154
01:11:38,319 --> 01:11:42,962
She has it in her mind to deny something,
but, she doesn't know what to deny.
1155
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,765
A nasty, vicious temper.
1156
01:11:49,504 --> 01:11:54,944
I invite you to Alice's dinner party,
this afternoon.
1157
01:11:55,678 --> 01:11:58,937
And I invite you.
1158
01:12:00,523 --> 01:12:03,559
I didn't know I was
to have a party at all. But,...
1159
01:12:03,663 --> 01:12:06,391
if there is to be one,
I think I ought to invite the guests.
1160
01:12:06,428 --> 01:12:09,702
We gave you the opportunity to do so.
1161
01:12:09,965 --> 01:12:14,004
But, I daresay you haven't had
many lessons in manners yet.
1162
01:12:16,357 --> 01:12:18,462
No!
1163
01:12:18,867 --> 01:12:20,987
Manners are not taught in lessens.
1164
01:12:21,355 --> 01:12:24,224
Lessons teach you to do sums,
and things of that sort.
1165
01:12:24,666 --> 01:12:26,225
Can you do addition?
1166
01:12:26,307 --> 01:12:29,672
What's 1 and 1 and 1
and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1?
1167
01:12:29,806 --> 01:12:31,462
Well, I don't know.
I lost count.
1168
01:12:31,507 --> 01:12:32,617
She can't do addition.
1169
01:12:32,670 --> 01:12:34,880
Can you do subtraction?
Take 9 from 8.
1170
01:12:35,011 --> 01:12:36,603
9 from 8?
That can't, you know?
1171
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:39,072
She can't do subtraction.
Can you do division?
1172
01:12:39,211 --> 01:12:42,602
If you divide a loaf with a knife,
what's the answer?
1173
01:12:42,775 --> 01:12:45,840
- I suppose...
- Bread and butter, of course.
1174
01:12:45,929 --> 01:12:50,545
Try another subtraction sum.
Take a bone from a dog, what remains?
1175
01:12:51,009 --> 01:12:54,403
Well, the bone wouldn't remain
if I'm taking it.
1176
01:12:55,078 --> 01:12:58,128
And the dog wouldn't remain.
It would come after me.
1177
01:12:58,175 --> 01:12:59,779
And I'm sure I shouldn't remain.
1178
01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:03,076
So, you think nothing would remain?
1179
01:13:03,158 --> 01:13:06,762
- Yes, I think that's the answer.
- Wrong as usual.
1180
01:13:06,830 --> 01:13:09,056
The dog's temper would remain.
1181
01:13:09,101 --> 01:13:10,066
I don't see how.
1182
01:13:10,090 --> 01:13:12,794
Look, the dog would lose its temper,
wouldn't it?
1183
01:13:12,831 --> 01:13:13,806
Perhaps, it would.
1184
01:13:13,830 --> 01:13:17,453
So, if the dog went away,
the temper would remain.
1185
01:13:17,514 --> 01:13:19,582
They might go different way.
1186
01:13:20,309 --> 01:13:23,726
She can't do sums a bit.
1187
01:13:24,990 --> 01:13:27,673
Can you answer useful questions?
1188
01:13:28,161 --> 01:13:30,041
How is bread made?
1189
01:13:30,467 --> 01:13:33,981
- Well, you, you take some flour.
- Where do you pick the flour?
1190
01:13:34,102 --> 01:13:36,634
You don't pick it at all.
It's ground.
1191
01:13:36,806 --> 01:13:38,492
How many acres of ground?
1192
01:13:38,583 --> 01:13:41,077
You mustn't miss out so many things.
1193
01:13:41,159 --> 01:13:42,643
Fan her head.
1194
01:13:42,732 --> 01:13:45,782
She'll be feverish after all that thinking.
1195
01:13:45,827 --> 01:13:49,221
Do you know languages?
What's the French for "fiddle-de-dee"?
1196
01:13:49,401 --> 01:13:52,353
- "Fiddle-de-dee" isn't English.
- Who ever said it was?
1197
01:13:52,488 --> 01:13:54,765
If you can me
what language "fiddle-de-dee" is,
1198
01:13:54,804 --> 01:13:56,107
I'll tell you the French for it.
1199
01:13:56,146 --> 01:13:59,279
Queens never make bargain.
1200
01:13:59,346 --> 01:14:01,654
I wish Queens never asked questions.
1201
01:14:03,692 --> 01:14:07,266
I'm so sleepy.
1202
01:14:08,083 --> 01:14:10,008
She's tired.
1203
01:14:10,121 --> 01:14:13,628
Smooth her hair and
sing her a soothing lullaby.
1204
01:14:13,762 --> 01:14:16,295
I don't know any soothing lullabies.
1205
01:14:17,906 --> 01:14:23,495
Hush-a-by lady, in Alice's lap!
1206
01:14:23,810 --> 01:14:28,350
Till the feast's ready,
we've time for a nap.
1207
01:14:28,500 --> 01:14:32,097
When the feast's over,
we'll go to the ball.
1208
01:14:32,214 --> 01:14:39,766
Red Queen, and White Queen,
and Alice, and all!
1209
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,585
Now that you heard the words,
sing it through to me.
1210
01:14:43,638 --> 01:14:45,488
I'm a bit tired now.
1211
01:14:48,155 --> 01:14:50,021
Hush...
1212
01:14:55,026 --> 01:14:56,651
Hush...
1213
01:15:06,961 --> 01:15:10,432
[ QUEEN ALICE ]
1214
01:15:17,602 --> 01:15:20,071
[ VISITORS BELL ]
[ SERVANTS BELL ]
1215
01:15:20,225 --> 01:15:22,114
I am not a visitor,...
1216
01:15:22,301 --> 01:15:24,294
and I'm not a servant.
1217
01:15:24,541 --> 01:15:26,415
There ought to be one marked "Queen".
1218
01:15:26,482 --> 01:15:28,693
No admittance till the week after next.
1219
01:15:34,856 --> 01:15:36,213
What is it now?
1220
01:15:36,242 --> 01:15:38,850
Where is the servant whose business
it is to answer the door?
1221
01:15:38,947 --> 01:15:41,300
- Which door?
- This one, of course.
1222
01:15:41,344 --> 01:15:43,945
- What's it been asking of?
- I don't know what you mean.
1223
01:15:44,008 --> 01:15:46,308
I speak English, don't I?
Or are you deaf?
1224
01:15:46,353 --> 01:15:47,904
- What did it ask you?
- Nothing.
1225
01:15:47,935 --> 01:15:49,630
- I knocked at it.
- Shouldn't do that.
1226
01:15:49,691 --> 01:15:51,699
Shouldn't do that.
It wexes it, you know?
1227
01:15:51,756 --> 01:15:54,336
You let it alone,
and it'll let you alone.
1228
01:17:25,612 --> 01:17:28,122
You've missed the soup and the fish.
1229
01:17:28,205 --> 01:17:29,974
Bring on the joint.
1230
01:17:39,207 --> 01:17:40,399
You look a little shy.
1231
01:17:40,466 --> 01:17:42,691
Let me introduce you to this leg of lamb.
1232
01:17:42,759 --> 01:17:44,931
Alice, Mutton.
Mutton, Alice.
1233
01:17:48,514 --> 01:17:51,075
- May I cut you a slice?
- Certainly not.
1234
01:17:51,254 --> 01:17:54,341
It isn't etiquette to cut anuone
you've been introduced to.
1235
01:17:54,379 --> 01:17:56,326
Remove the joint.
1236
01:18:02,529 --> 01:18:05,549
I won't be introduced to the pudding,
please, or we shall get no dinner at all.
1237
01:18:05,579 --> 01:18:08,779
Pudding, Alice. Alice, pudding.
Remove the pudding.
1238
01:18:09,516 --> 01:18:11,666
Waiter, bring back the pudding.
1239
01:18:16,696 --> 01:18:18,030
What impertinence!
1240
01:18:18,105 --> 01:18:19,656
How would you like it
if I were to cut a slice out of you?
1241
01:18:20,642 --> 01:18:21,979
Make a remark.
1242
01:18:22,054 --> 01:18:25,628
It's ridiculous to leave all
the conversation to the pudding.
1243
01:18:30,848 --> 01:18:35,419
You know, I've had such a quantity
of poetry repeated to me today. And...
1244
01:18:35,635 --> 01:18:37,457
it's a curious thing,
1245
01:18:37,644 --> 01:18:39,352
all of it seems to be...
1246
01:18:39,473 --> 01:18:41,811
about fishes in some way.
1247
01:18:48,967 --> 01:18:53,336
- Queen Alice's health.
- Queen Alice's health.
1248
01:19:04,488 --> 01:19:07,806
You can return thanks
by making a neat speech.
1249
01:19:09,022 --> 01:19:10,877
We must support her.
1250
01:19:12,787 --> 01:19:15,695
- I rise to...
- Take care of yourself.
1251
01:19:15,926 --> 01:19:18,113
Something is going to happen.
1252
01:19:36,697 --> 01:19:38,853
Or a bee?
1253
01:19:40,891 --> 01:19:42,173
Ooh!
1254
01:19:47,668 --> 01:19:50,333
I can not stand this any longer.
1255
01:19:53,055 --> 01:19:54,839
Mom...
1256
01:20:01,566 --> 01:20:03,720
I'm sorry, darling.
1257
01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:07,152
So, we'll read some more tomorrow night.
1258
01:20:07,235 --> 01:20:08,344
Okay.
1259
01:20:08,376 --> 01:20:10,197
Huh, Mr. Walrus.
1260
01:20:10,497 --> 01:20:11,898
How are you?
1261
01:20:20,580 --> 01:20:23,037
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
1262
01:20:25,064 --> 01:20:27,349
That's not a memorandum of your feelings.
1263
01:20:27,379 --> 01:20:28,429
It's the end of my move.
1264
01:20:28,481 --> 01:20:30,789
All feasting and fun.
1265
01:20:33,216 --> 01:20:35,082
Goodnight, Humpty.
1266
01:21:09,330 --> 01:21:11,594
A BOAT beneath a sunny sky,
1267
01:21:11,773 --> 01:21:13,797
Lingering onward dreamily
1268
01:21:14,076 --> 01:21:16,385
In an evening of July.
1269
01:21:16,686 --> 01:21:19,274
Children three that nestle near,
1270
01:21:19,646 --> 01:21:22,073
Eager eye and willing ear,
1271
01:21:22,467 --> 01:21:24,853
Pleased a simple tale to hear.
1272
01:21:25,316 --> 01:21:27,591
Long has paled that sunny sky:
1273
01:21:27,705 --> 01:21:30,098
Echoes fade and memories die:
1274
01:21:30,391 --> 01:21:33,163
Autumn frosts have slain July.
1275
01:21:33,613 --> 01:21:36,693
Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
1276
01:21:36,940 --> 01:21:39,131
Alice moving under skies
1277
01:21:39,258 --> 01:21:41,735
Never seen by waking eyes.
1278
01:21:41,922 --> 01:21:44,275
Children yet, the tale to hear,
1279
01:21:44,483 --> 01:21:46,634
Eager eye and willing ear,
1280
01:21:46,766 --> 01:21:48,963
Lovingly shall nestle near.
1281
01:21:49,092 --> 01:21:50,741
In a Wonderland they lie,
1282
01:21:50,778 --> 01:21:52,906
Dreaming as the days go by,
1283
01:21:53,236 --> 01:21:55,573
Dreaming as the summers die:
1284
01:21:55,882 --> 01:21:58,024
Ever drifting down the stream.
1285
01:21:58,189 --> 01:22:00,544
Lingering in the golden gleam.
1286
01:22:00,878 --> 01:22:04,399
Life, what is it but a dream?
99829
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