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0
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:23,152
Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe,
1
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ripe I cry fools and fair ones come and buy!
2
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:40,997
Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe, ripe I cry...
3
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,639
Alice...
4
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,639
what's the matter, child?
5
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,199
You look as pale as a ghost.
6
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,997
I can't do it, Nanny!
7
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,438
They don't expect you to sing until after tea...
8
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,516
you've got another half an hour to practice.
9
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,039
And relax... drink a strong cup of herbal tea...
10
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,958
it's what I used to do when
I was on the boards...
11
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,474
I can't do it. I can't sing.
12
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,112
It's just stage fright...
13
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,832
there's nothing to be afraid of...
14
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,438
I shall be with you...
15
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,909
it's all in the mind, child.
16
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,153
You can't make me sing!
17
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,310
I won't! I won't!
18
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,476
Now, we'll have none of that, young lady.
19
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,716
Everyone's here. Have you seen my...
20
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,400
Mummy, please don't make me sing!
21
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,079
She's a little nervous, Ma'am.
22
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,912
Perfectly natural... I've seen it often.
23
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,716
Alice, you promised me and your father.
24
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,631
All the guests are so looking forward to it.
25
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,676
It's expected.
26
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,157
Of course, dear, if you really don't want
to your father and I will understand
27
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,589
though we'll be very disappointed.
28
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,797
I don't want to disappoint you and daddy.
29
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,999
Don't worry darling...
30
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,032
I'm sure you'll make us all very proud.
31
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,474
And remember Alice, whatever happens...
32
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,638
flood or earthquake... the show must go on.
33
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,156
"Cherry ripe, cherry ripe,
34
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:15,634
ripe I cry... fools and fair
ones come and buy...
35
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,592
Oh what am I going to do, Dinah?
36
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,395
Of all the songs I have to sing "Cherry Ripe"!
37
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,752
How can they expect me to sing
in front of all these strangers.
38
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,720
I'll go back later when it's all over!
39
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,035
Oh dear, oh!
40
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,550
Oh me! Oh, oh,
41
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:04,989
oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
42
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:09,989
I'll be so late! Oooh, Oh me.
43
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,115
Oh dear.
44
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:25,072
I wonder what Latitude
or Longitude I've got to?
45
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:29,433
I've no idea what Latitude and
Longitude are, but they're grand words
46
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,191
Longitude and Latitude
47
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:43,960
Oh my furry ears and whiskers,
look how late it's getting!
48
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:56,477
Perhaps I fell right through the earth,
and come out the other side...
49
00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,315
I shall have to ask somebody
the name of the country...
50
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,109
"Please Ma'am, is this New
Zealand or Australia?"
51
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,871
That's strange...
52
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,390
Now that I'm in, how do I get out?
53
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,714
If only I was smaller...
54
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,594
That wasn't there before,
55
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,513
I wonder if it's alright to drink.
56
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,160
If you drink too much from
a bottle marked poison
57
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,596
it's almost certain to disagree
with you sooner or later.
58
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,035
This bottle's not marked "Poison".
59
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,115
Hmm...
60
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,948
Oh no.
61
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,994
Now what am I supposed to do?
62
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,828
Curiouser and curiouser.
63
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:27,279
If it makes me grow taller
then I can reach the key...
64
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:31,952
and if it makes me grow smaller
I can creep under the door...
65
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,638
either way I'll get into the garden!
66
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,719
I'm stuck,
67
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,316
I'm stuck. What am I suppose to do?
68
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,395
Oh! The Duchess'll be absolutely
savage if I keep her waiting.
69
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,869
Please sir, can you help me?!
70
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,872
Are you crying?
71
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,515
Yes.
72
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,312
Well, fortunately I speak "crying"
and "sobbing" fluently...
73
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,959
but I can't stay...
74
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,754
- I'm late!
- No.
75
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,840
Yesterday everything was so normal...
76
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,709
Now look at me. I'm huge, and I'm stuck!
77
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,669
I wonder what's making me grow smaller?
78
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,311
It must be this fan.
79
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,274
Mr Mouse!
80
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,553
Mr Mouse...
81
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,508
Mr Mouse.
82
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,876
How did you know my name, young lady.
83
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,679
You did look like a mouse...
84
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,557
I'm late. Come with me,
85
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:22,236
I've a very important lecture to
deliver and everyone will be there!
86
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:30,471
My lectures, my lectures have to be
seen and heard to be depreciated...
87
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,994
of course they divide people...
88
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,759
Last time the whole audience hissed.
89
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,394
Hissed! All except one man.
90
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,351
He was applauding the hissing.
91
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,239
What am I going to talk about?
What am I going to do?
92
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,991
Whatever it is I'll talk about,
you can be sure it isn't new
93
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,997
Not new.
94
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,878
Not new.
95
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,232
I am an English lecturer
96
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,231
The most famous of my time.
97
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,198
Because I stick with the same old words
98
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,670
And never change a line.
99
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,515
Not a line,
100
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:23,077
not, not a line...
101
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,000
Not a line...
102
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:31,028
My mother couldn't carry a
tune not even if it had handles.
103
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,833
Silly old trout.
104
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,190
A most depressing venue...
105
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,875
The distemper's coming off at the knees...
106
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,352
Still the audience look lively enough.
107
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,749
That's the main thing...
108
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,468
I mean they're not dead. Not yet...
109
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,799
What's your name, if it isn't a rude question?
110
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,955
Alice.
111
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,672
Oh well,
112
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,039
that's not your fault...
113
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,998
Err... you're wet!
114
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,359
Sit down...
115
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,949
I'll soon make her dry enough.
116
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:19,113
My lecture is the driest
thing I've ever heard of.
117
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,073
Settle down everybody
whilst I clear my throat.
118
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,555
Get on with it!
119
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,755
Walnuts!
120
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,034
Oh well,
121
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,593
now then...
122
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,553
"William the Conqueror,
123
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,354
whose cause was favored by the Pope,
124
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,953
Ooooh...
125
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,149
Did you speak?
126
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,357
I don't think so.
127
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,589
"Edwin and Morcar, the Earls
of Mercia and Northumbria,
128
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,272
declared for him...
129
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:02,076
and even Stigand, the patriotic
Archbishop of Canterbury
130
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:07,314
found it advisable to go with
Edgar Altheling to meet William
131
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,829
and offer him the crown.
132
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,672
How are you getting on now, my dear?
133
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,669
I'm as wet as ever, it doesn't
seem to dry me at all.
134
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,354
Are you sure?
135
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,110
I don't like the sound of it.
136
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,434
None of use do...
137
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:26,673
in which case I move that
the meeting adjourn...
138
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,879
And we immediately, if not sooner,
139
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:37,637
adopt more energetic remedies to
facilitate a cure for wetness, per se...
140
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,789
Speak English!
141
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,668
What I was going to say was, ipso facto...
142
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:49,029
the best thing to get her dry would be...
143
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,868
a caucus-race!
144
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,599
What's a caucus-race?!
145
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,639
A caucus-race! A caucus-race!
146
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,199
What's a caucus-race?
147
00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,838
I'll pack a few things!
148
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,989
Now you're talking.
149
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,311
Yes I'm talking, now what's a caucus-race?!
150
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:09,354
The best way to explain a
caucus-race is - to do it.
151
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,350
On your marks,
152
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,157
get set...
153
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,153
go!
154
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,672
It's a blistering race!
155
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:37,869
An extraordinary display of skill,
determination and sheer stupidity!
156
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,148
They're all cheating!
157
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,911
That's caucus-race!
158
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,313
So perish all enemies of the Tsar!
159
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,755
And there's more where that came from!
160
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,552
So you think I'm a cheat do you?!
161
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,278
No just deformed.
162
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,750
No man calls me deformed
unless he's certified!
163
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,070
Look! Look... the finishing post!
164
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,635
Who's won?!
165
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,749
Who's won?!
166
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,072
I vouchsafe that everybody won...
167
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,076
and that we must all have prizes.
168
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,912
Who's going to give the prizes?!
169
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,753
Why, Alice of course!
170
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,516
Um...
171
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,269
Ha!
172
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,670
I think it's time we were all in
bed with a cup of hot chocolate.
173
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,030
Indubitably!
174
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:25,875
Wait.
175
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,758
Where are you all going.
176
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,389
Wait!
177
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,269
Oh the Duchess!
178
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,679
Oh the Duchess!
179
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,752
Oh, my sweet paws. Oh my fur and whiskers!
180
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,236
She'll get me executed as
sure as ferrets are ferrets.
181
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,713
Oh what've you lost, sir?
182
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,791
A pair of white kid gloves and a fan.
183
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,439
Oh... I'll help you find them.
184
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,155
Hm hm, what are you doing here?!
185
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,233
I'm trying to get into the beautiful garden.
186
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,113
Run home and fetch me another
pair of gloves and a fan!
187
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,589
Quick!
188
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,951
He's treating me as if I'm his housemaid!
189
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,155
Frederick Rabbit's house!
190
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,196
He lives very well for a rabbit.
191
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,834
Some of these things must be priceless...
192
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,796
or even more expensive.
193
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,795
It doesn't say "Drink Me" like the other bottle.
194
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,910
I'm sure it'll make something
interesting happen.
195
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,590
I just hope it makes me grow large again.
196
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,312
Err - that's enough!
197
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,433
Oh dear - what am I going to do?!
198
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,629
Oh, dear!
199
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,035
Hm...
200
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,356
It's stuck.
201
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,308
I'll try the back window.
202
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,719
Wah!
203
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,156
Uh - oh...
204
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,392
Pat! Pat!
205
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,791
I'm here, your honour, I'm here.
206
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,474
I was er, out the front digging for apples...
207
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:49,393
Ah, for sure, it's a dewy dawn when the
larks on the wing and the snail's on the horn.
208
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,472
What? Oh not now, Pat...
just help me out of this.
209
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,751
Alright, come on, up come on.
210
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,114
Lets have you.
211
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,556
Oh, oh no. That won't do the
vegetables any good, your honour.
212
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,636
Why're we growing cucumbers, Pat?
213
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,551
Because they're green, your worship.
214
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,428
I thought so... Now tell me,
Pat, what's that in the window?
215
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,032
Let's have a look. Hang on a sec.
216
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,474
That's an arm your worship!
217
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,791
An arm! Whoever saw an arm that size?
218
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,552
No-one, but sure, it's still an arm.
219
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,239
Well it's no business there... remove it!
220
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,556
Me, your worship?
221
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,870
Yes, you. Are you a coward?
222
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,393
Oh no, not at all...
223
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,159
I might have coward's legs but
the rest of me's brave as a lion.
224
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,117
There's nothing to be afraid of.
225
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,349
Well then you do it!
226
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,238
I'm too rich, I can't afford to die.
227
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,394
Will somebody please help me?
228
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,755
I'm stuck!
229
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,188
I'm stuck!
230
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:51,279
Why won't anyone help
me? I can't do it by myself!
231
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,555
Why do you keep failing
like that. Your honour?
232
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,959
I like it!
233
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,434
- Oh help me up.
- Oh, right so.
234
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,750
Here take me right hand, there we go...
235
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,916
No that... That's me right hand!
236
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,991
Oooo, ooo. Bill!
237
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,476
Hello!
238
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:06,675
You're needed, lad!
239
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,508
What's the matter, sirs?
240
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,239
The Master's got a terrible case of the 'falls'!
241
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:13,349
Get a ladder!
242
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,039
Oh! Right.
243
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,758
Now be careful with the ladder, lad
244
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,195
You might... hit... Oh!
245
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,269
Oh...
246
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,395
Sorry sir!
247
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,631
Oh. Put the ladder up against the house.
248
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,030
Oh, yes, yes that's good.
249
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,712
Now climb up.
250
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:36,876
What for?
251
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:41,238
You've got to get on the roof, slide down
the chimney and see who's in the house.
252
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:42,070
Why?
253
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:44,873
Because I can't get through
the door or windows.
254
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,036
Ah now sir, that's a mighty clever idea.
255
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,236
But you see, I've got a
bad back for chimneys.
256
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:50,719
I inherited it from my mother.
257
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,671
We've always had terrible
backs for chimneys!
258
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,716
Oh you do it, Bill!
259
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:55,510
Who me?
260
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,788
Yes you!
261
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,950
Oh... alright then.
262
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,949
Quick. Hurry!
263
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,317
Now careful, Bill, there's a loose
slate up there somewhere.
264
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,314
Ah, good man, you've found it!
265
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,835
Pat, tell him to climb down the chimney.
266
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:32,676
Bill.
267
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:33,431
Ow.
268
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:34,674
...climb down the chimney!
269
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,039
He shouldn't do that?!
270
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,357
Not down the chimney... don't try it!
271
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,630
Ya-hoo!
272
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:11,715
There goes Bill.
273
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,276
Oh. Oh dear.
274
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,120
Bill! Bill! What happened, lad?
275
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,515
Hold up his head... here's brandy
276
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,312
Ah thank you, your worship
277
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,913
Not you!
278
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,357
Ah sorry, purely medicinal, runs in the family.
279
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,668
What happened, Bill?
280
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,917
Well something comes at me,
281
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,632
like a Jack-in-the-box, and then
up I goes like a sky-rocket.
282
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,915
Spoken like a true Irishman, Bill.
283
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,638
I don't like the look of this.
284
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,159
There's nothing for it!
285
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,714
We must burn down the house!
286
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,954
Good thinking, your worship.
287
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,315
Would you like me to sing
some melodies of Old Ireland?
288
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,790
No, just burn down the house!
289
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,233
Oh, no you don't!
290
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,593
You're not burning down
this house while I'm inside!
291
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,033
Ha ha. A barrow full should do!
292
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,115
Ready, aim...
293
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:13,956
Fire!
294
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:21,192
Ah, stop it. You'd better not do that again!
295
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:35,230
Hmm.
296
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,070
They're not real pebbles
297
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,839
They're soft like sponge cakes...
298
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,396
Now I must go and find that lovely garden.
299
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,990
No one will think of looking for me there.
300
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,519
Everything seems different from down here.
301
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,518
I have to keep looking up.
302
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,835
I'm sure little people must
get very bad neck strain.
303
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,629
It's enough to make a cat bark.
304
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,952
I used to read fairy tales,
305
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,032
I never thought I would end
up in the middle of one.
306
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,991
There ought to be a book written about me.
307
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,109
Maybe when I grow up I'll write one.
308
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,148
Sir.
309
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,600
Sir, who do I have the honour of addressing?
310
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,230
Major Caterpillar, ribbon and bar...
311
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,072
Late of "Her Majesty's Foot and Light"...
312
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,628
A true son of England and it's flag what...
313
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:43,990
Who're you?
314
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,991
I don't really know.
315
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,917
If you don't, I don't!
316
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,156
I know who I was this morning
317
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,198
but I think I've been changed
several times since then.
318
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,556
Explain yourself or you'll
find yourself on a charge.
319
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:03,716
Well, I can't explain myself, sir,
because I'm not myself, you see.
320
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,159
No, I don't see.
321
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,673
Everyone should be the
right size, shouldn't they.
322
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,158
But I've been so many different
sizes in one day it's very confusing.
323
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,468
Why?
324
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,318
Well, if you were to change...
325
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,234
into a butterfly say you'd find
it quite strange, wouldn't you?
326
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,589
Not a bit of it! Nothing's strange to me!
327
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,671
I don't think you should talk to me like that.
328
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:26,357
Like what?
329
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:27,759
In short sentences.
330
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,518
Oh, ah a ooo-
331
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,199
All I know is that it's very disturbing,
332
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,271
sometimes I start crying.
333
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,031
Why?
334
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,953
Because I don't remember
things like I used to
335
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,958
and I can't keep the same
size for ten minutes together.
336
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,473
That's a rum do.
337
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,317
I'd keep an eye on it if I were you...
338
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,436
Can't remember what things exactly?
339
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:47,959
Songs and poems.
340
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,037
Gad, it's worse than having a beri-beri.
341
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:56,438
Umm, recite "You Are Old, Father William".
342
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,275
Stand up, girl... you can't sing
or recite without standing up.
343
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,112
Well that's just it... I don't want to!
344
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,713
No, no elbows all wrong.
345
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,279
Tuck'em in! Tuck'em in!
346
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,351
Good! Try and keep in tune!
347
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,993
"You are old, Father
William", the Young Man said
348
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,469
"And your hair has become very white;
349
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,712
And yet you incessantly stand on your head.
350
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,833
Do you think, at your
age, this is right?" Hmm?
351
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:32,988
I don't know if you were trying for the
"Paganini Variations" for voice and trumpet,
352
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:34,991
but you missed five verses.
353
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,350
Some of the words did get a little altered.
354
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,591
Young lady, it was wrong
from beginning to end.
355
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,279
And you can't get wronger than that!
356
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,670
I'm afraid that's what always
happens when I have to perform!
357
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,595
You mustn't be afraid, that's
worse than not remembering.
358
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,119
Oh... dear!
359
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,553
What size do you want to be?!
360
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,318
Speak up! Speak up!
361
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,873
I don't care about the size,
362
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,071
just so long as I'm not changing
all the time, you know.
363
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:01,269
No, I don't know.
364
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,635
There you go again with short sentences!
365
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,359
There you go, losing your temper.
366
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,317
It's against Queens Regulations!
367
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,197
Do you like your size right now?
368
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,590
I'd like to be little taller...
this is a terrible height to be.
369
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,473
Terrible?! Gad, woah!
370
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:22,598
One side will make you taller and
the other side will make you shorter.
371
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,517
One side of what?
372
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:27,794
The mushroom...
373
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,472
that's what it's there for...
374
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,594
everything has a purpose even here.
375
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,398
Thank you, Major.
376
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,438
Ha ha ha ha ha...
377
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,679
One side makes me taller.
378
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,072
The other side will make me shorter.
379
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,630
I wonder which one is which.
380
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,149
Mmmm...
381
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:45,557
I think I'll keep these, they
may come in handy later.
382
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,796
That looks respectable,
383
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,112
I wonder if they'll be able
to give me directions...
384
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:15,749
For the Duchess, an invitation
from the Queen to play croquet.
385
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,469
From the Queen, an invitation
for the Duchess to play croquet.
386
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,879
An invitation to play croquet,
from the Queen, for the Duchess.
387
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,159
I've got the gist.
388
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:29,995
Are you sure?
389
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,790
Yes, it's an invitation from the Queen
for the Duchess to play croquet.
390
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:41,311
Hm, I wouldn't put it quite like
that, but it'll have to do I suppose.
391
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,232
It's no good you knocking like that.
392
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,948
Why not?
393
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,832
Two good reasons.
394
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:20,198
One, because I'm on the same
side of the door as you...
395
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,479
Oh yes.
396
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:27,390
Two, they're making so much
noise inside, no-one can hear you.
397
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,995
But how am I going to get inside?
398
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,877
That is the question.
399
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:37,439
The problem. You might even
say, the conundrum or riddle.
400
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,238
Yes, I might.
401
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,551
There'd be some sense in you
knocking if we had a door between us.
402
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,512
I could go and get a spare door
but that would take too long.
403
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,349
On the other hand, if you
were inside the house,
404
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,000
you could knock, and I could let you out...
405
00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,828
Knock, knock...
406
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,789
This way out, Madame.
407
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,470
But I don't want to go out, I want to go in!
408
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,629
Of course, but if you did want
to go out it'd be much easier.
409
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:19,037
Meanwhile, I'm going to
sit here until tomorrow.
410
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,791
Or the next day perhaps,
411
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:26,476
or even for a whole week,
412
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,349
then I can come back by popular demand.
413
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,639
But how am I supposed to get inside?
414
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,757
I need to ask them a question.
415
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,192
Will you ever get in, is the
question you should be asking?
416
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:44,154
I'm going to sit here for days
thinking about it and singing
417
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,195
"Coming Through the Rye".
418
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:53,472
Dee da dada dar dee dar
da dar dee dar dee dar dum
419
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:57,434
It's no use talking to you!
I'll just have to do it myself.
420
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,317
That's the spirit!
421
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,436
Pepper!
422
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,998
I want pepper!
423
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:18,029
Pepper! More pepper...
424
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,031
More pepper!
425
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:28,634
More pepper!
426
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,750
Please could you tell me why your
cat is grinning at me like that?
427
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,277
He's a Cheshire-Cat.
428
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,555
Cheshire-Cat's always grin.
429
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,673
Isn't that so, Piggy?
430
00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:55,312
I didn't know Cheshire-Cats always grinned.
431
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,392
In fact I didn't know cats could grin.
432
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,829
Uh ho, well you don't know
very much then do you.
433
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,148
Isn't that so Piggy!
434
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,679
Are you really a Duchess?
435
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:11,629
Every inch!
436
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:17,428
Pepper! Pepper! Pepper!
437
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,560
Be careful! You almost
hit his poor little nose!
438
00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:23,869
Nonsense!
439
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,799
He can already play "Three
Blind Mice" on his nose-flute!
440
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:31,953
What do you want little Miss?!
441
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,150
I want to know how to get into the garden?
442
00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:36,515
Oh - now you're talking,
443
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,990
but I prefer singing to talking, don't you?
444
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,235
Let's have a song.
445
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,791
"Speak roughly to the little boy,
446
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:50,311
And beat him when he sneezes.
447
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,437
He only does it to annoy.
448
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:58,395
Because he knows it teases."
449
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:19,155
"I speak severely to my boy,
450
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:22,915
I beat him when he sneezes.
451
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:31,317
For he can thoroughly enjoy
the pepper when he pleases"
452
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:54,992
Here you nurse for a bit...
453
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,476
I've got an appointment... can't wait.
454
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:03,469
Pepper! More pepper!
455
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,028
I best get you out of here.
They're sure to kill you!
456
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:11,394
More pepper! Pepper!
457
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,508
I thought you wanted to go in?
458
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,079
I've been in... now I'm coming out.
459
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,076
Life is so complicated!
460
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:30,558
You mustn't grunt like that. You
sounds as if you've turned into a pig.
461
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,871
You have turned into a pig!
462
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,993
I'd best let you go.
463
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,356
Go on.
464
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,399
When he gets older he'll
make a very ugly child...
465
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,232
or a very handsome pig...
466
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,351
Now which way?
467
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,798
Ah!
468
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,637
Cheshire-Puss, can you
tell me which way to go?
469
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,599
Well that depends on
where you want to get to.
470
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:12,750
The garden!
471
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:14,359
Why do you want to go there?
472
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:15,959
It looks safe.
473
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:20,039
Sometimes things that
look safe turn out nasty...
474
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,112
and things that look nasty turn out safe.
475
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,713
That's immoral.
476
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,999
What sort of people live around here?
477
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:32,437
Well a Hatter lives over there.
478
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,109
Follow my pointed paw.
479
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:47,994
And a gentleman called Hare
nicknamed March lives there.
480
00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:50,356
They're probably having a tea party.
481
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:51,520
They're both mad.
482
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,440
They're both mad.
But I don't want to meet mad people.
483
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:53,873
But I don't want to meet mad people.
484
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,559
Oh, but you can't help it,
everyone here is mad.
485
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,279
I'm mad, you're mad.
486
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,432
It's only by chance and
careful planning if you're not.
487
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,351
How do you know I'm mad?
488
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,039
Because you're here!
489
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,674
And everyone here is mad.
490
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,912
I went to a Hunt Ball once, I didn't like it...
491
00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:17,630
Terrible people. They all started hunting me!
492
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,956
Hm... Life must be hard for you?
493
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,758
But I grin a bear it...
494
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,797
By-the-by, what became of the baby?
495
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:29,118
It turned into a pig.
496
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,836
I knew it would, it's the same
with crows and moor-hens.
497
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,714
Did you say "pig" or "fig"?
498
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:41,912
I said "pig".
499
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:45,316
And I wish you wouldn't keep appearing
and disappearing so suddenly.
500
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:46,952
You're making me very dizzy!
501
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,433
So sorry... is this better?
502
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:01,757
Which way shall you go?
503
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:03,512
Which path shall you take?
504
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,956
If you don't take any you will make a mistake.
505
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,718
Which way shall you go?
506
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,472
Which path shall you take?
507
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,951
You have to move on though
you tremble and quake...
508
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:21,036
Hmm the Cheshire Cat was
right. They are having tea.
509
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,509
I wonder if they'd mind if I joined them?
510
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,795
Have you any more food down there, Dormy?
511
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,838
Any spoilt sandwiches or strawberries?
512
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,195
I love strawberries, don't you? Aha ha ha ha.
513
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,350
I'm sure he's hoarding them!
514
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:38,555
Oh haw haw haw...
515
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,632
I'm lost... could I... get
516
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,073
No room.
517
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:44,513
There's no room.
518
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,837
There's plenty of room.
519
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,877
Why didn't you report this sooner, Hatty?
520
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,433
I overslept.
521
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,990
Why're you here?
522
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,719
Well, I've been looking for
the pretty garden all day...
523
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,512
and now I'm tired, and hungry.
524
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,511
Oh, that's different.
525
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,194
We've been eating for hours.
526
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:06,395
And we've not finished yet.
527
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,671
Waiter, waiter, there's a hair in my soup!
528
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,638
Is it blonde? We're missing a waitress.
529
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,273
Have some wine!
530
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,869
I don't see any wine.
531
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,588
There isn't any and you're too young.
532
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,274
Then it wasn't very nice of you to offer it.
533
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:37,199
It wasn't very nice of you to
sit down without an invitation.
534
00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:40,437
This is a private soiree.
535
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,670
Well I suppose I should've just barged in.
536
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:47,311
I know I wasn't invited but the table
was laid out for a lot of people.
537
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,153
My response to that is both
profound a meaningful.
538
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,879
Get your hair cut!
539
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,798
You shouldn't make personal
remarks, it's very rude.
540
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,796
I didn't know that. Personal
remarks are rude?
541
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:05,829
Hm hmm.
542
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,116
E'gad, you learn something new everyday.
543
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:11,357
Make a note of that, Marchy,
it might come in useful.
544
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,633
Now I have one for you...
545
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,558
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
546
00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:21,629
Why is a raven...?
547
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,512
I'm not talking to you...
548
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,438
Why not, aren't I good enough?
549
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,516
You've heard it before.
550
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,672
But you were looking at me when
you said "Why is a raven...?"
551
00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:33,039
I'm asking Alice!
552
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:42,079
Um, why is raven like a writing desk.
553
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,913
You know - I'm pretty sure I can guess.
554
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,994
You mean you think you know the answer?
555
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:50,396
Yes.
556
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,272
Then you should say what you mean.
557
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,993
Well I do... at... at least...
558
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,752
At least I mean what I say...
559
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,273
That... that is the same thing.
560
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,151
It's not the same thing at all.
561
00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:05,677
You might as well say "I see what I eat"
is the same thing as "I eat what I see"
562
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:12,556
You might as well say "I like
what I get" as "I get what I like."
563
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:14,509
Ahhh! Oh!
564
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,192
You or you might as well say
565
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:23,356
"I breathe when I asleep" is the same
thing as "I sleep when I breathe."
566
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:25,118
Well it is the same with you!
567
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:30,157
No no, oh I need some sleep.
568
00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:31,355
Clean cups!
569
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,230
Time marches on it's stomach! Ah ha ha ha.
570
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,270
It's an army that marches on its stomach.
571
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,877
Odd sort of army, marching on it's stomach.
572
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:49,230
I don't like the idea. Yuck!
573
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,313
What day of month is it?
574
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:52,796
The fourth.
575
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,757
Ah-ah! Two days wrong!
576
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,155
I told you not to use butter.
577
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,915
- It was the best butter.
- Danish.
578
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,912
Some crumbs must've got into it as well...
579
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,709
I said, "don't put butter in the
works with a bread knife".
580
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,718
I couldn't put it in with a fork could I?
581
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,153
Here, let me see.
582
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:16,195
I don't want to give it to you - but I will.
583
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:19,997
Ohh!
584
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:21,354
Ahhgh!
585
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:26,393
I don't understand it... it was the best butter.
586
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:27,629
Danish.
587
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,119
That's a funny watch.
588
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,553
It tells the day of the month but not the time.
589
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,192
Why should it... does your
watch tell you what year it is?
590
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,389
No. Because it stays a year for so long.
591
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:43,873
Oh well then I rest my case.
592
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:44,955
Where?
593
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:45,916
There!
594
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,673
I know when I'm beaten.
595
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:55,036
Oh look. Mr Dormouse is asleep again.
596
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,438
It tells you a lot about your conversation...
597
00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:01,631
Sparkle, Miss, sparkle!
598
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,199
Of course, of course,
599
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,989
I was just going to say that myself... I'm...
600
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,036
I'm asleep... again...
601
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,393
Have you guessed the
riddle about the raven yet?
602
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:17,120
Um hmm no, I give up... what's the answer?
603
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,236
I haven't the slightest idea.
604
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,799
Nor me.
605
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:22,877
I think you should all do
something better with the time
606
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,713
than wasting it on asking stupid riddles.
607
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,952
If you knew Time the way I do, you
wouldn't talk about wasting "it".
608
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,991
Time is a "him".
609
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,235
"It" isn't polite.
610
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,197
I don't know what you mean.
611
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:37,798
Of course you don't!
612
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,155
Because you've never
spoken to Time have you?
613
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,159
Well I have.
614
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,993
We used to be very good friends...
615
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:49,279
We served the Empire, in many a distant
post before they all got woodworm.
616
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,600
But we quarreled last March...
617
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,597
just before he went mad.
618
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,193
Flatterer!
619
00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:00,113
It was at the great concert
given by the Queen of Hearts!
620
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,476
Quick, stop him, he's going to sing... too late!
621
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,233
Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
How terribly sweet of you.
622
00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:12,473
And now for a little encore I'd like to a
song entitled "Auntie's Wooden Leg".
623
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,476
Maestro, if you please...
624
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:22,033
"Oh Auntie's wooden
leg, Auntie's wooden leg.
625
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,755
We'll paint it red and call
it Fred or Ned or Ted.
626
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:29,509
Oh, Auntie's wooden leg.
Auntie's wooden leg.
627
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:35,112
Everybody said it was well and truly
dead, oh Auntie's wooden leg...
628
00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:36,832
I say, I say, I say!"
629
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,798
How dare you interrupt my
song with "I say, I say, I say!"
630
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:40,949
I say, I say, I say...
631
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:44,077
In this world it's not what you
know, but who you know.
632
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,639
I don't know either one of them.
633
00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:47,756
Kindly leave the stage by the red door.
634
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,434
There's a fifty foot drop on the other side!
635
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,431
But we're still good friends...
636
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:53,919
Dohh!
637
00:51:54,280 --> 00:52:02,312
Auntie's wooden ohh...
638
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:09,749
Uh ha, oh dear dear dear dear dear.
639
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:14,478
Auntie's wooden leg.
Aunties wooden leg, we'II...
640
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,596
That's enough of that... or she'll walk out.
641
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,270
That's what the audience did at the concert.
642
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,793
Try another song.
643
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,152
We're desperate men.
644
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:28,199
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
645
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:32,068
How I wonder what you're at!
646
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:39,555
Up above the world you fly.
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
647
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:43,559
Twinkle, twinkle, little twinkle,
648
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:47,400
You don't speak but you will twinkle.
649
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:54,280
Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, little bee,
650
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:57,511
Twinkle, twinkle,
651
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:12,960
I'm so glad it isn't me...
652
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,677
Lovely isn't it? It could
almost pass for singing.
653
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:33,670
"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..."
654
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,237
Anyway, I'd hadn't finished the
second verse at the concert
655
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,915
when the Queen bawls out...
"He's murdering the tunc!
656
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,274
Off with his head!"
657
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:46,189
How terrible for you.
658
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:49,750
You're very understanding for a small girl.
659
00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:52,913
Anyway, if you'll pardon the expression,
660
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,151
Time took offence to our performance.
661
00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:57,753
Uh - your performance!
662
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:03,554
And ever since then he won't do a
thing we ask... he stopped time.
663
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,557
Could he stop time for me?
664
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:09,952
I have to sing a song.
665
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:14,551
Oh wonderful! We're all performers here.
666
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:18,275
The roar of the greasepaint,
the smell of the crowd...
667
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:19,873
nothing like it!
668
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,399
But I don't want to!
669
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,718
Don't want to perform?
670
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:30,116
- It's unnatural.
- No, no, no. Stage fright.
671
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:35,913
I remember my first performance,
I shook so much my hat fell off.
672
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,596
If Time stopped time for you,
he could stop time for me.
673
00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:41,756
But he only stops time at tea-time.
674
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:43,919
So it's always tea-time here?
675
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:45,759
Tell us a story.
676
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:48,109
I don't know any.
677
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,475
Then Dormy will.
678
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:51,954
Wake up, Dormy!
679
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:56,390
Ahhrgh! I wasn't asleep.
680
00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:02,117
Oh no... I heard every
word you fellows said...
681
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,430
Tell us a story!
682
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,316
Please do!
683
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,119
And do it quick, otherwise you'll fall
asleep before you've finished it.
684
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:09,918
Once upon a time there were three sisters,
685
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,992
Elsie, Lacie and Tillie and they
lived at the bottom of a well.
686
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:14,593
What did they live on?
687
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:18,237
What did they live on? Treacle!
688
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,998
That would've made them ill.
689
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:23,072
It did. It made them very ill.
690
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:24,389
Have some more tea!
691
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,357
More tea! More tea!
692
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,195
I've had nothing yet so I can't have more!
693
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:31,799
You mean you can't have less.
694
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:33,916
It's very easy to have more than nothing.
695
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,678
Especially if you're poor.
696
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,829
I'd still like to know why they
lived at the bottom of the well?
697
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,430
Ah, oh well, it was a treacle-well!
698
00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:48,549
A treacle well?! There's no such thing!
699
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:53,519
Disgraceful! You'll hear from
my solicitor in the morning!
700
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,757
Outrageous! What about a
letter to the "The Times"?!
701
00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:00,276
If you can't be civil you can
finish the story yourself.
702
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:01,799
No, no... I'm sorry...
703
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,632
I won't interrupt you again...
704
00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:05,950
I'm sure there must be,
at least, one treacle-well.
705
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:07,433
Now, where was I?
706
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:12,435
Oh yes... so these three
sisters were learning to draw...
707
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:14,035
Draw what?
708
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:15,753
Treacle!
709
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,479
Hole in one!
710
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,993
I want another clean cup... everyone move!
711
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,751
What I don't understand is,
how they could draw treacle?
712
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,519
You can draw water out of
a water-well, can't you?
713
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,238
Good one, Hatty! Good one!
714
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,916
I don't think I like this Tea Party
as much as I thought I would.
715
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,275
Then you shouldn't talk, just hum...
716
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,237
because we know you socially, Alice.
717
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,039
It doesn't mean we're going to
introduce you to our friends.
718
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:52,599
We haven't got any.
719
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:53,590
But if we had!
720
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:55,716
Ah, if we had!
721
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,995
I'm no staying here
listening to you being rude!
722
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,588
You'll find better places for that I'm sure!
723
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,114
Of course she will, if she's lucky!
724
00:57:03,240 --> 00:57:05,117
Besides it's going to rain.
725
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,040
It never rains but it pours.
726
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:16,280
If it does, we carry on... we're
little heroes, aren't we, Dormy?
727
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,836
Officer, these men are criminals!
728
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:23,512
Who's got his ear trumpet?!
729
00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:26,718
It's the most stupid
tea-party I've ever been to.
730
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:28,279
I told you he wouldn't fit.
731
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,875
He'll fit, we have to try harder.
732
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,991
I heard that... try harder.
733
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,072
Oh ah. No that's my nose.
734
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:42,029
No mind my ears...
735
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,193
That's curious...
736
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:21,953
Hmm... This time I'll manage things better.
737
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:15,989
Mmm...
738
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:20,991
At last. The perfect place to hide.
739
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,551
Oh look out there, Mr Five,
you're splashing paint!
740
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,473
I couldn't help it, Mr Two,
Mr Seven jogged my elbow.
741
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,478
Oh that's right, shifting
the responsibility again!
742
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:38,754
Ha, you can talk.
743
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,035
I heard the Queen say you
deserved to be beheaded.
744
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:41,711
What for?
745
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,471
Tulip-roots.
746
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:43,396
What?
747
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,153
For bringing the Cook
tulip-roots instead of onions.
748
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:47,758
Is that all?
749
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,956
That's a mistake anyone can make!
750
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:53,790
Hello...
751
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,035
Hello!
752
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,276
Why are you painting the roses red?
753
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:04,196
The fact is, Miss, this tree ought by
rights to've been a red rose-tree,
754
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,191
and we planted a white one by mistake.
755
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:07,918
Easy thing to do.
756
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:08,790
Yes.
757
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:10,233
If the Queen was to find out...
758
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,436
well, the fact is we'd all
have our heads cut off.
759
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,159
So you see, Miss, we're doing
our best to put things right.
760
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:16,389
Before she comes.
761
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,078
Ah! She's coming now!
762
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,633
The Queen! The Queen!
763
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:54,355
Left right, left right, left right, left,
764
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:55,469
Halt!
765
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,273
And who is this?
766
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:09,758
I agree entirely.
767
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,635
Don't be ridiculous!
768
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,557
Would I lie to you, Your Majesty?
769
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:15,550
Yes.
770
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:18,518
Oh well thank you, compliments
are always welcome.
771
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:21,998
You're an idiot!
772
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,752
That's right your Majesty.
773
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,114
Only you could spot that,
it takes one to know one.
774
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:30,431
A complete idiot!
775
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,389
Your name, child?
776
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:39,072
Alice, if it please Your Majesty.
777
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:40,955
Why have we stopped?
778
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,955
And who are these?
779
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,232
How should I know? I'm a stranger here.
780
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,713
Off with her head!
781
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,199
Off with her head!
782
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,916
Off with her her head!
783
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,958
Stop losing your temper... it's vulgar!
784
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:04,598
Consider, my dear, she's just a child.
785
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,192
You think so?
786
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,915
Yes that would account for it.
787
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:19,197
Children have no respect
for their betters these days.
788
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:23,710
You three get up!
789
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,712
Stop doing that! You're making me dizzy!
790
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:28,715
What is this?
791
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:31,309
If you please Your Majesty, we're trying...
792
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:36,235
Yes, you are aren't you...
793
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:43,551
Very trying... ha ha ha...
794
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,955
Off with their heads.
795
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:00,278
I won't let you be beheaded.
796
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:02,234
Quick jump in here.
797
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,197
Do you play croquet?
798
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:33,759
Who, me?!
799
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,918
Yes, you!
800
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:40,632
I'm not in the habit of talking to myself
801
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:46,238
if that's the only way I can get an
intelligent conversation round here...
802
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:52,518
Can you play Croquet?
803
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:54,190
Yes.
804
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:56,678
Come on then!
805
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,034
Nice day.
806
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:06,191
Very... Where's the Duchess?
807
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,953
Oh - Hush... Hush...
she's due to be executed.
808
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:14,074
Get to your places!
809
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,716
Don't look at me... look down.
810
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:12,631
Off with his head.
811
01:06:09,140 --> 01:06:11,131
Off with his head.
812
01:06:11,460 --> 01:06:13,610
Off with her head.
813
01:06:14,540 --> 01:06:17,179
Off with her head.
814
01:06:17,300 --> 01:06:21,339
I don't like it here... they're too
fond of beheading people...
815
01:06:26,020 --> 01:06:28,170
Ah it's the Cheshire Cat!
816
01:06:30,740 --> 01:06:31,695
Hello, there...
817
01:06:31,940 --> 01:06:33,168
How do you like the game?
818
01:06:33,660 --> 01:06:35,332
They don't play very fair.
819
01:06:35,380 --> 01:06:37,689
But nobody does if they think
they can get away with it.
820
01:06:37,780 --> 01:06:39,418
That's a lesson you'll have to learn.
821
01:06:39,540 --> 01:06:41,974
Well, I should've croqueted
the Queen's hedgehog
822
01:06:42,060 --> 01:06:44,051
but my hedgehog wouldn't roll into a ball.
823
01:06:44,140 --> 01:06:47,337
Well you've got to look at it from
the hedgehog's point of view.
824
01:06:47,460 --> 01:06:49,371
Yes, I suppose I should have.
825
01:06:50,100 --> 01:06:51,692
How do you like the Queen?
826
01:06:52,660 --> 01:06:57,017
I don't... she's so extremely...
827
01:07:01,020 --> 01:07:04,933
...likely to win, that it's hardly
worth finishing the game.
828
01:07:08,020 --> 01:07:10,295
There's a good, good little girl.
829
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:11,929
Charming.
830
01:07:12,900 --> 01:07:14,299
Charming.
831
01:07:16,580 --> 01:07:17,695
Who're you talking to?
832
01:07:18,260 --> 01:07:21,332
A friend of mine. Cheshire
Cat, this is the King.
833
01:07:21,900 --> 01:07:25,256
Urghh - I don't like this at all...
834
01:07:25,460 --> 01:07:27,974
but as you're in the presence
you may kiss my hand.
835
01:07:28,100 --> 01:07:29,419
I'd rather not.
836
01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:30,535
What?!
837
01:07:30,620 --> 01:07:34,135
That's rank insubordination and
you know what that leads to...
838
01:07:35,820 --> 01:07:37,538
And don't look at me like that!
839
01:07:37,620 --> 01:07:39,451
A cat may look at a King.
840
01:07:40,100 --> 01:07:41,135
What does that mean?
841
01:07:41,220 --> 01:07:42,494
I read it in a book somewhere.
842
01:07:42,580 --> 01:07:44,298
I haven't, but it sounds immoral.
843
01:07:44,380 --> 01:07:46,496
It has undertones. That
book should be banned.
844
01:07:46,580 --> 01:07:49,048
I like the sound of that.
845
01:07:49,100 --> 01:07:52,490
Ah, my dear, how do we
get rid of a floating cat?
846
01:07:52,980 --> 01:07:54,572
Off with its head!
847
01:07:54,860 --> 01:07:55,929
Brilliant!
848
01:07:56,020 --> 01:07:58,056
I knew I could rely on you, my dear.
849
01:07:58,140 --> 01:07:59,619
I'll just go and fetch the executioner!
850
01:08:02,420 --> 01:08:03,933
Do you know where my hedgehog went?
851
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:06,655
He rolled away over there.
852
01:08:37,180 --> 01:08:41,890
Now stop it, it's alright
I'm not going to hurt you.
853
01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:46,333
All that's necessary is a swift
chop to the back of the neck!
854
01:08:46,580 --> 01:08:47,774
It's difficult!
855
01:08:47,980 --> 01:08:50,175
But I must have a ruling!
856
01:08:50,260 --> 01:08:51,739
I appeal to you, little girl!
857
01:08:51,780 --> 01:08:54,169
You've still got a good
head on your shoulders!
858
01:08:54,660 --> 01:08:57,015
No thanks to you.
859
01:08:57,140 --> 01:08:58,209
What?!
860
01:08:58,300 --> 01:08:59,892
Ohh!
861
01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:02,614
I can't hear what you say.
862
01:09:02,820 --> 01:09:04,572
One at a time please!
863
01:09:04,700 --> 01:09:07,168
I'm sorry about my altitude.
864
01:09:07,300 --> 01:09:10,019
It smacks of revolution! You're above us!
865
01:09:10,100 --> 01:09:14,457
My argument is simple and
based on irrefutable logic.
866
01:09:14,540 --> 01:09:16,417
I'm Chief Executioner.
867
01:09:16,500 --> 01:09:20,015
But I can't cut off an head unless
there's a body to cut it from.
868
01:09:20,100 --> 01:09:22,330
This here cat, hanging up there,
869
01:09:22,420 --> 01:09:26,299
large as life and twice as
repulsive, has no body...
870
01:09:26,380 --> 01:09:29,770
ipso facto, I cannot separate
it from hit's head...
871
01:09:29,860 --> 01:09:32,932
My argument is, I venture
to say, overwhelming.
872
01:09:33,020 --> 01:09:36,092
Anything that has a head can be beheaded.
873
01:09:36,180 --> 01:09:39,092
And don't forget I'm also
a Justice of the Peace.
874
01:09:39,220 --> 01:09:42,974
There's too much talk and not enough action.
875
01:09:43,060 --> 01:09:45,369
And if something doesn't happen in a minute,
876
01:09:45,420 --> 01:09:48,856
I'm going to have everybody executed!
877
01:09:48,980 --> 01:09:50,698
You choose, little girl.
878
01:09:50,980 --> 01:09:54,655
To behead or not to behead,
that is the question.
879
01:09:54,780 --> 01:09:58,136
What's the answer, girl?!
880
01:09:58,700 --> 01:10:03,615
You have to tread with care
when dealing with cats.
881
01:10:03,860 --> 01:10:09,651
They have influence and are
seen in all the smart places.
882
01:10:10,620 --> 01:10:12,975
You remember the Great Cat Massacre.
883
01:10:13,780 --> 01:10:17,056
Ah, yes, I was forgetting.
884
01:10:17,180 --> 01:10:18,738
Catastrophe.
885
01:10:18,820 --> 01:10:21,618
I'd think carefully before acting rashly.
886
01:10:22,060 --> 01:10:25,177
Sound advice, little girl.
887
01:10:32,580 --> 01:10:34,491
And another thing,
888
01:10:35,180 --> 01:10:37,819
the cat belongs to the Duchess.
889
01:10:38,260 --> 01:10:42,048
She's in prison... fetch her!
890
01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:49,857
I remember the Great Cat
Massacre of '28... nasty business.
891
01:10:49,980 --> 01:10:54,576
Yes it was just after the Great
Flamingo Plague of '26 wasn't it?
892
01:10:54,660 --> 01:10:56,139
- Shhh.
- What?!
893
01:10:56,980 --> 01:10:59,130
Ahh... Duchess.
894
01:11:03,140 --> 01:11:05,859
Think carefully before
answering this question...
895
01:11:06,780 --> 01:11:10,090
Is this your cat?!
896
01:11:14,780 --> 01:11:15,815
No!
897
01:11:15,900 --> 01:11:18,494
No? It isn't?
898
01:11:18,660 --> 01:11:21,891
I was told... ahh, it's gone!
899
01:11:21,980 --> 01:11:24,016
It's your fault! It was in your custody!
900
01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:29,214
It wasn't official, so it's nothing to
do with me, mate. I'm in the clear!
901
01:11:29,300 --> 01:11:32,212
Help me find it! Everybody help!
902
01:11:47,020 --> 01:11:49,056
Quick, quick. Quick.
903
01:11:51,940 --> 01:11:56,491
Oh, you can't think how glad I am
to see you again, you old thing.
904
01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:57,969
Thank you.
905
01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:00,573
You look worried, my dear?
906
01:12:00,660 --> 01:12:03,094
I don't want to go back and sing that song.
907
01:12:03,140 --> 01:12:04,892
The show must go on.
908
01:12:04,940 --> 01:12:06,089
Why?
909
01:12:06,180 --> 01:12:08,489
Life would be very dull if it didn't.
910
01:12:08,660 --> 01:12:10,935
Off with your head.
911
01:12:11,020 --> 01:12:12,578
The game's going better now.
912
01:12:12,660 --> 01:12:14,252
And the moral of that is...
913
01:12:14,620 --> 01:12:19,136
"the more there is of mine,
the less there is of yours".
914
01:12:19,260 --> 01:12:23,173
Or you could say "fortune favours the brave".
915
01:12:23,260 --> 01:12:24,898
I could and I will...
916
01:12:24,980 --> 01:12:29,292
"fortune favours the brave".
Oh that's a good moral.
917
01:12:29,340 --> 01:12:31,729
You are a clever old thing you. Ohh!
918
01:12:33,980 --> 01:12:36,369
Fine day, Your Majesty.
919
01:12:37,660 --> 01:12:41,335
I gave you fair warning.
920
01:12:41,540 --> 01:12:54,248
Either you or your head must be OFF!
921
01:12:58,420 --> 01:13:03,733
Now, my dear, we can finish
our game, before you leave.
922
01:13:04,100 --> 01:13:06,056
I'm frightened of going back.
923
01:13:06,100 --> 01:13:08,819
They want me to do things I don't want to do.
924
01:13:08,940 --> 01:13:13,331
To stay, you have to know the password.
925
01:13:13,660 --> 01:13:15,252
I don't know it.
926
01:13:15,380 --> 01:13:16,779
Guess.
927
01:13:18,140 --> 01:13:19,368
"Penny-whistle".
928
01:13:20,140 --> 01:13:21,175
Guess again.
929
01:13:22,340 --> 01:13:23,853
"Lions and Unicorns".
930
01:13:23,940 --> 01:13:28,650
Almost but not quite. It's "Honeycomb".
931
01:13:29,020 --> 01:13:30,931
Can you write that word down?
932
01:13:31,020 --> 01:13:32,339
Mmm yes.
933
01:13:32,940 --> 01:13:34,168
Blindfolded?
934
01:13:34,780 --> 01:13:35,735
Well...
935
01:13:35,820 --> 01:13:37,048
I thought not!
936
01:13:41,100 --> 01:13:47,619
Come, come, this won't do. Everybody play!
937
01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:54,058
Off with their heads.
938
01:13:55,060 --> 01:13:57,620
Off with their heads.
939
01:13:57,820 --> 01:14:04,134
Off with everyone's heads!
940
01:14:06,380 --> 01:14:09,577
This isn't such a lovely garden after all.
941
01:14:10,540 --> 01:14:12,417
Now where have I got to?
942
01:14:22,940 --> 01:14:27,138
Hmm... That looks like the coat
of arms we have at home.
943
01:15:00,540 --> 01:15:04,613
Hello. Who are you?
944
01:15:04,820 --> 01:15:06,014
Alice.
945
01:15:06,140 --> 01:15:10,577
Alice? That sounds familiar.
946
01:15:10,660 --> 01:15:11,979
And who are you?
947
01:15:12,340 --> 01:15:14,058
A gryphon...
948
01:15:14,140 --> 01:15:19,055
part eagle, part lion.
949
01:15:19,140 --> 01:15:21,734
The best of each I always say.
950
01:15:21,860 --> 01:15:24,852
Hmm, I thought you were
a mythical creature?
951
01:15:24,900 --> 01:15:31,135
I am... that makes me even more fascinating.
952
01:15:31,220 --> 01:15:33,654
Is there a way out of this maze, sir?
953
01:15:33,740 --> 01:15:36,254
Let's ask Mr Mock Turtle.
954
01:15:36,620 --> 01:15:40,932
He's my best friend... splendid fellow.
955
01:15:41,660 --> 01:15:44,493
True blue through and through...
956
01:15:57,460 --> 01:15:59,894
Rise and shine, old chum.
957
01:16:31,060 --> 01:16:33,176
Oh, is there something wrong?
958
01:16:33,260 --> 01:16:35,728
No, no, no. It's his fancy.
959
01:16:35,820 --> 01:16:42,373
Who knows what sad thoughts tiptoe
through the mossy glades of his mind.
960
01:16:48,020 --> 01:16:49,692
I know how to cheer him up.
961
01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:54,052
Ah, Mockers tell this
young lady about yourself.
962
01:16:55,060 --> 01:16:59,133
She's come to right person for
that... sit down, both of you.
963
01:16:59,260 --> 01:17:00,739
Er no thanks, I've heard it before.
964
01:17:00,780 --> 01:17:03,692
Sit down... it's the least you can do.
965
01:17:12,100 --> 01:17:20,735
Once, ahhh haaa... I was a real turtle
966
01:17:20,820 --> 01:17:24,256
I was a real... I was a real...
967
01:17:29,460 --> 01:17:32,099
Thank you for that very interesting story sir.
968
01:17:32,180 --> 01:17:33,613
I haven't started yet!
969
01:17:33,740 --> 01:17:35,890
Stay, you may learn something.
970
01:17:36,300 --> 01:17:38,973
You must've learned a lot
since you've been down here?
971
01:17:39,140 --> 01:17:41,210
Yes I suppose I have.
972
01:17:41,620 --> 01:17:45,295
When Gryph and I were little, we
went to school in the same sea,
973
01:17:45,420 --> 01:17:49,254
and the Master was an old turtle.
We used to call him "tortoise".
974
01:17:49,380 --> 01:17:53,419
Why would you call him
"tortoise" if he wasn't one?
975
01:17:54,660 --> 01:17:58,289
We called him " tortoise
"because he taught us.
976
01:17:58,380 --> 01:18:04,137
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
asking a simple question like that.
977
01:18:05,700 --> 01:18:10,171
He taught us reeling and writing, and
the basic fundamentals of Arithmetic.
978
01:18:10,220 --> 01:18:14,816
Ambition, Distraction, Qualification
and we also learnt Drawling
979
01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:18,210
The Drawling Master was an old conger-eel.
980
01:18:18,300 --> 01:18:23,738
He taught us Drawling.
Stretching and Fainting in Coils.
981
01:18:23,860 --> 01:18:24,849
Whoao!
982
01:18:24,940 --> 01:18:26,419
What was that like?
983
01:18:27,940 --> 01:18:28,895
I'll show you.
984
01:18:36,500 --> 01:18:37,649
I'll have it in a minute.
985
01:18:53,740 --> 01:18:55,492
I can't show it to you myself.
986
01:18:55,580 --> 01:18:57,298
I'm a little too stiff.
987
01:18:57,900 --> 01:19:00,619
Old age is not for weaklings.
988
01:19:00,780 --> 01:19:02,736
And Gryphon, here, never
learnt it, did you, Gryph?
989
01:19:02,820 --> 01:19:04,458
I didn't time...
990
01:19:04,540 --> 01:19:09,216
I went to the Classical Master
though... what an old crab he was.
991
01:19:09,340 --> 01:19:11,251
Tell her about the games!
992
01:19:11,300 --> 01:19:13,097
Woo Cho cho cho cho choo -
993
01:19:13,140 --> 01:19:16,655
You may never have lived in the sea
994
01:19:16,740 --> 01:19:19,334
so you've probably never
been introduced to a lobster.
995
01:19:19,500 --> 01:19:21,536
I once tasted a Io...
996
01:19:21,660 --> 01:19:22,979
You what-what-what-what?!
997
01:19:23,060 --> 01:19:24,379
Nothing.
998
01:19:24,740 --> 01:19:27,174
You've never seen a Lobster-Quadrille then?!
999
01:19:27,260 --> 01:19:29,615
No, what sort of dance is that?
1000
01:19:29,700 --> 01:19:31,258
Ha da cha cha cha chaa...
1001
01:19:31,300 --> 01:19:33,177
This will give you some
idea of what it looks like.
1002
01:19:33,260 --> 01:19:36,411
First you have to clear away all the jelly-fish.
1003
01:19:36,540 --> 01:19:39,691
You don't want to dance on top
of a lot of jelly-fish, do you?
1004
01:19:39,740 --> 01:19:42,413
Yah! Woo, Mmmm.
1005
01:19:43,340 --> 01:19:45,217
You have a line of dancers...
1006
01:19:45,340 --> 01:19:49,333
turtles, salmon, cod, skate.
Whoever's available.
1007
01:19:49,420 --> 01:19:51,615
And each one has a lobster
Don't forget about the lobsters!
1008
01:19:51,700 --> 01:19:56,854
Yes, then you advance twice, change
lobsters and retire in the same order...
1009
01:19:57,140 --> 01:20:02,168
Then, you throw the lobsters into the air.
1010
01:20:03,620 --> 01:20:05,531
Then you change lobsters again.
1011
01:20:07,060 --> 01:20:10,689
And that, little girl, is the
first figure of the dance!
1012
01:20:10,820 --> 01:20:12,048
It's a beautiful dance.
1013
01:20:12,100 --> 01:20:15,058
Oh, it is and it costs a pretty penny.
1014
01:20:15,140 --> 01:20:16,812
And a few ugly ones too.
1015
01:20:17,140 --> 01:20:19,290
Now, we'll show it to you.
1016
01:20:23,220 --> 01:20:27,498
"Will you walk a little faster?"
Said a whiting to a snail.
1017
01:20:27,540 --> 01:20:31,772
"There's a porpoise close behind
us, and he's treading on my tail,
1018
01:20:31,860 --> 01:20:36,058
See how eagerly the lobsters
and the turtles all advance!
1019
01:20:36,100 --> 01:20:40,457
They are waiting on the shingle.
Will you come and join the dance?
1020
01:20:59,700 --> 01:21:03,818
See how eagerly the lobsters
and the turtles all advance!
1021
01:21:03,900 --> 01:21:08,212
They are waiting on the shingle.
Will you come and join the dance?
1022
01:21:08,300 --> 01:21:10,097
Dance!
1023
01:21:10,300 --> 01:21:14,213
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1024
01:21:14,300 --> 01:21:14,857
Dance!
1025
01:21:14,940 --> 01:21:19,968
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you - join the dance?"
1026
01:21:20,060 --> 01:21:21,209
Dance!
1027
01:21:22,900 --> 01:21:26,859
Thank you. It was a very
interesting dance to watch.
1028
01:21:27,100 --> 01:21:30,012
And no wise fish would ever go
anywhere without a porpoise.
1029
01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:32,218
- Wouldn't it really?
- Course not.
1030
01:21:32,260 --> 01:21:34,455
Why, if a fish came to me and
said he was going on a journey,
1031
01:21:34,540 --> 01:21:36,417
I'd say "with what porpoise?"
1032
01:21:36,940 --> 01:21:38,339
So you like performing then?
1033
01:21:38,820 --> 01:21:40,492
No... I hate it.
1034
01:21:40,620 --> 01:21:42,815
Oh you know you mustn't it's such fun.
1035
01:21:42,860 --> 01:21:43,770
Stand up.
1036
01:21:43,860 --> 01:21:45,259
Oh you are standing up.
1037
01:21:45,300 --> 01:21:48,337
Recite "Tis voice of the sluggard".
1038
01:21:48,420 --> 01:21:49,535
She doesn't know that!
1039
01:21:49,620 --> 01:21:50,530
I do.
1040
01:21:50,620 --> 01:21:51,939
Recite it then!
1041
01:21:54,620 --> 01:21:57,259
"Tis the voice of the Lobster
I heard him declare.
1042
01:21:57,300 --> 01:21:59,256
You have baked me too
brown. I must sugar my hair
1043
01:21:59,300 --> 01:22:02,531
As a duck with its eyelids,
so he with his nose.
1044
01:22:02,620 --> 01:22:05,817
Trims his belt and his buttons
and turns out his toes"
1045
01:22:08,820 --> 01:22:10,094
You've got it wrong.
1046
01:22:12,580 --> 01:22:15,333
I keep getting things wrong today...
1047
01:22:15,500 --> 01:22:19,288
I think you'd better sing "Turtle Soup" instead,
1048
01:22:19,380 --> 01:22:20,972
if you would, Old Fellow.
1049
01:22:21,100 --> 01:22:22,658
You don't have to ask me twice.
1050
01:22:22,700 --> 01:22:24,019
He'll sing at the drop of a hat.
1051
01:22:24,060 --> 01:22:26,290
I haven't got a hat, but if
I had and it dropped it,
1052
01:22:26,380 --> 01:22:27,699
I'd sing before it touched the ground.
1053
01:22:27,780 --> 01:22:30,089
You're in for a treat, Alice...
1054
01:22:31,580 --> 01:22:35,937
Master... an undiscovered virtuose.
1055
01:22:36,100 --> 01:22:40,696
And he plays the spoons...
show her your reviews.
1056
01:22:40,780 --> 01:22:44,568
Later... Later, I'm in my
singing mode right now.
1057
01:22:47,700 --> 01:22:54,890
"Beautiful Soup so rich and green,
1058
01:22:54,980 --> 01:23:01,055
Waiting in a hot tureen!
1059
01:23:01,180 --> 01:23:07,972
Who for such dainties, would not stoop?
1060
01:23:08,100 --> 01:23:12,218
Soup of the evening,
1061
01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:15,736
Beautiful Soup!
1062
01:23:15,820 --> 01:23:24,569
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
1063
01:23:24,700 --> 01:23:28,454
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1064
01:23:28,540 --> 01:23:31,498
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1065
01:23:31,620 --> 01:23:36,296
Soo-oop of the e-e-evening.
1066
01:23:36,420 --> 01:23:44,373
Beau-ootiful, soo-oo... take it Alice!
1067
01:23:44,540 --> 01:23:48,818
Soo-oop!
1068
01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:51,454
Needs a little work, but we'll get it.
1069
01:23:52,820 --> 01:24:00,579
Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish.
1070
01:24:00,660 --> 01:24:06,178
Game or any other dish!
1071
01:24:06,300 --> 01:24:10,612
Who would not give all else
1072
01:24:10,660 --> 01:24:22,618
for two Pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup!
1073
01:24:22,700 --> 01:24:26,329
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1074
01:24:26,420 --> 01:24:30,299
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1075
01:24:30,380 --> 01:24:35,659
Soo-oop of the e-e-evening.
1076
01:24:35,780 --> 01:24:50,855
Beau-oooo...
1077
01:24:50,980 --> 01:24:57,169
...tiful soooo-oooop!"
1078
01:24:57,980 --> 01:25:02,770
And now my dear - I think
you're ready to find your way
1079
01:25:02,900 --> 01:25:07,337
And they say this sort of
thing is only for the rich.
1080
01:25:07,780 --> 01:25:10,010
One more chorus, dear fellow!
1081
01:25:11,340 --> 01:25:15,015
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1082
01:25:15,100 --> 01:25:19,013
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1083
01:25:19,100 --> 01:25:23,935
Soo-oop of the e-e-evening.
1084
01:25:24,100 --> 01:25:39,812
Beau-oooo...
1085
01:25:39,980 --> 01:25:45,008
...tiful soo-oop.
1086
01:25:49,820 --> 01:25:53,256
Beau-ootiful soup so...
1087
01:26:02,740 --> 01:26:04,378
Oh dear.
1088
01:26:04,580 --> 01:26:06,411
I was forgetting...
1089
01:26:20,100 --> 01:26:24,013
Ah, perhaps this is the way out.
1090
01:27:20,220 --> 01:27:23,735
Ahoy! Ahoy! She's my prisoner, you know!
1091
01:27:23,820 --> 01:27:25,651
And I've come to rescue her.
1092
01:27:25,740 --> 01:27:27,617
We'll have to fight for her.
1093
01:27:27,700 --> 01:27:30,339
You'll observe the rules of battle, of course.
1094
01:27:30,420 --> 01:27:32,331
I always do.
1095
01:27:32,580 --> 01:27:33,569
Good man.
1096
01:27:43,500 --> 01:27:45,172
Take that! Oh!
1097
01:28:05,740 --> 01:28:07,537
Curse my weak wrists!
1098
01:28:07,700 --> 01:28:10,055
You're worthy opponent, sir.
1099
01:28:10,140 --> 01:28:11,858
Another day perhaps?
1100
01:28:11,940 --> 01:28:13,168
Another day, sir!
1101
01:28:37,180 --> 01:28:38,454
Thank you very much...
1102
01:28:38,700 --> 01:28:41,612
That was a glorious victory, wasn't it?
1103
01:28:41,700 --> 01:28:45,010
As an encore I do the Battle of Agincourt.
1104
01:28:45,140 --> 01:28:47,893
- Here let me help you take your helmet off.
- Yes...
1105
01:29:01,140 --> 01:29:05,452
Oh, I can breathe now.
1106
01:29:10,140 --> 01:29:11,209
Thank you.
1107
01:29:25,340 --> 01:29:28,093
I see you're admiring my box.
1108
01:29:28,300 --> 01:29:31,497
It's my own invention to keep sandwiches in.
1109
01:29:31,580 --> 01:29:36,335
You see I carry it upside-down so
they don't get wet when it rains.
1110
01:29:36,580 --> 01:29:40,209
But they can drop out, the lid is open.
1111
01:29:41,580 --> 01:29:45,175
So that's what happened to my sandwiches!
1112
01:30:01,460 --> 01:30:03,212
Do you know why I did that?
1113
01:30:03,340 --> 01:30:04,409
No.
1114
01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:06,172
It's now a bee's nest.
1115
01:30:06,700 --> 01:30:08,895
I should be getting some honey very soon.
1116
01:30:10,340 --> 01:30:12,900
But you already have a bee-hive.
1117
01:30:12,980 --> 01:30:14,857
Oh, one of the best...
1118
01:30:14,940 --> 01:30:16,851
but the bees won't come near it.
1119
01:30:16,980 --> 01:30:18,208
Same with this.
1120
01:30:18,260 --> 01:30:20,137
It's better mouse-trap.
1121
01:30:21,540 --> 01:30:23,337
Come to think of it
1122
01:30:23,460 --> 01:30:27,897
I shouldn't be surprised if the
mice don't keep the bees out...
1123
01:30:27,980 --> 01:30:31,131
or the bees keep the mice
out... one or the other.
1124
01:30:32,940 --> 01:30:34,976
But why would you need a mouse-trap?
1125
01:30:35,020 --> 01:30:38,456
You won't find many mice running
around on the backs of horse's.
1126
01:30:38,580 --> 01:30:43,335
But if there were he'd be
protected, wouldn't you old chap.
1127
01:30:49,820 --> 01:30:50,935
Are you alright?
1128
01:30:52,220 --> 01:30:55,530
I hope you've got your hair fastened on tight?
1129
01:30:57,700 --> 01:31:00,009
Only in the usual way.
1130
01:31:00,260 --> 01:31:03,491
Well, that's not good enough.
1131
01:31:04,300 --> 01:31:08,134
The wind is as strong as soup around here.
1132
01:31:08,260 --> 01:31:10,296
You must be ready for anything.
1133
01:31:10,380 --> 01:31:12,735
Then nothing can frighten you.
1134
01:31:30,300 --> 01:31:32,860
You don't seem to have much riding practice.
1135
01:31:32,900 --> 01:31:34,413
What makes you say that?
1136
01:31:34,540 --> 01:31:36,178
You keep falling off your horse.
1137
01:31:36,300 --> 01:31:38,939
I've had plenty of practice
at that... plenty of practice.
1138
01:31:39,380 --> 01:31:40,938
Yes, I suppose you have.
1139
01:31:41,020 --> 01:31:43,375
The art of riding is to keep your balance.
1140
01:31:43,620 --> 01:31:44,575
Hold this.
1141
01:31:45,100 --> 01:31:45,850
What is it?
1142
01:31:45,980 --> 01:31:48,813
I forget but I know it was a bargain...
1143
01:31:50,580 --> 01:31:54,653
Plenty of practice... plenty of practice...
1144
01:31:58,260 --> 01:31:59,613
Mr Knight!
1145
01:32:19,500 --> 01:32:23,732
You see, our bodies are driven by our legs
1146
01:32:23,820 --> 01:32:26,812
and our legs are driven by our feet...
1147
01:32:26,940 --> 01:32:29,579
How can you go on talking
when you're like this?
1148
01:32:30,060 --> 01:32:31,288
Like what?
1149
01:32:31,420 --> 01:32:34,298
Head-downwards and body in the air.
1150
01:32:37,100 --> 01:32:40,376
What does it matter where
my body happens to be?
1151
01:32:40,460 --> 01:32:43,577
My mind goes on working just the same.
1152
01:32:43,660 --> 01:32:46,572
It's a hive of activity.
1153
01:32:46,660 --> 01:32:50,733
Ideas! Ideas! Ideas!
1154
01:32:50,820 --> 01:32:55,496
In fact the more head-downwards I
am, the more I keep inventing things.
1155
01:32:55,580 --> 01:33:00,176
The cleverest thing I ever invented
I thought of head-downwards.
1156
01:33:00,260 --> 01:33:01,693
And what was that?
1157
01:33:01,780 --> 01:33:03,099
A new pudding.
1158
01:33:03,620 --> 01:33:06,339
Come to think of it, I don't believe
that pudding was ever cooked.
1159
01:33:07,380 --> 01:33:09,575
Why, what was it made of?
1160
01:33:10,020 --> 01:33:11,214
Blotting-pepper!
1161
01:33:11,820 --> 01:33:14,209
Uh, that wouldn't have been very nice.
1162
01:33:14,940 --> 01:33:16,658
Not very nice alone...
1163
01:33:16,740 --> 01:33:21,495
but mixing it with other things
like gunpowder and sealing wax
1164
01:33:21,580 --> 01:33:25,368
gives it a true taste of the Cordon-Bleus...
1165
01:33:27,820 --> 01:33:29,538
Now I must leave you.
1166
01:33:29,700 --> 01:33:34,376
I've still dragons to slay
and young ladies to rescue.
1167
01:33:35,100 --> 01:33:38,854
You look worried. You're too young to worry.
1168
01:33:38,940 --> 01:33:41,374
Look at me I don't worry.
1169
01:33:41,460 --> 01:33:46,011
Well, I was thinking about the things
I have to do when I go home...
1170
01:33:46,740 --> 01:33:48,253
You're going home?
1171
01:33:49,260 --> 01:33:52,457
I don't want to but perhaps I should.
1172
01:33:52,940 --> 01:33:58,219
Just be brave. And always
get back on your horse.
1173
01:33:59,820 --> 01:34:03,608
Just keep your balance at all times. Yes, yes.
1174
01:34:03,740 --> 01:34:06,254
Can you tell me the how
to get out of the forest?
1175
01:34:06,380 --> 01:34:07,893
Plenty of practice, pl-ahhh!
1176
01:34:07,980 --> 01:34:09,129
Before you go!
1177
01:34:09,220 --> 01:34:12,417
Good-bye! Just be brave!
1178
01:34:12,620 --> 01:34:13,769
Mr Knight!
1179
01:34:46,100 --> 01:34:47,977
Oh, Tiger-lily,
1180
01:34:48,100 --> 01:34:51,410
I wish you could talk so you could
tell me how to get out of this wood?
1181
01:34:51,540 --> 01:34:57,092
I can talk when there's
anybody worth talking to.
1182
01:34:57,980 --> 01:34:59,538
Can all flowers talk?
1183
01:34:59,660 --> 01:35:00,854
As well as you...
1184
01:35:00,940 --> 01:35:03,852
It isn't manner for us to speak first.
1185
01:35:03,940 --> 01:35:06,010
We were wondering if you'd speak.
1186
01:35:06,100 --> 01:35:08,295
I thought your face had got some sense on it.
1187
01:35:08,380 --> 01:35:09,813
Not much, but some.
1188
01:35:09,900 --> 01:35:12,892
Hmm but the colouring's right.
1189
01:35:12,980 --> 01:35:15,369
Oh, I don't care about her colour...
1190
01:35:15,500 --> 01:35:19,049
If only her petals curled
more she'd be all right.
1191
01:35:19,260 --> 01:35:21,376
Aren't you frightened of growing out here,
1192
01:35:21,420 --> 01:35:23,376
with no-one to look after you?
1193
01:35:23,420 --> 01:35:27,049
There's plenty of trees. What
else are they good for?
1194
01:35:27,140 --> 01:35:29,335
But what good are trees
when danger comes near?
1195
01:35:29,420 --> 01:35:31,809
They have a good bark.
1196
01:35:31,940 --> 01:35:34,579
You didn't know that did you?!
1197
01:35:35,060 --> 01:35:36,891
Silence all of you!
1198
01:35:38,740 --> 01:35:42,016
They're only like that
because I can't get at them,
1199
01:35:42,300 --> 01:35:44,211
they're to close to the ground.
1200
01:35:48,620 --> 01:35:51,896
If you're not polite, I'll make you into a chain!
1201
01:35:54,300 --> 01:35:58,213
Daisies are worst of all,
next to Snap-Dragons.
1202
01:35:59,580 --> 01:36:02,538
How is it that all of you can talk so well?
1203
01:36:02,620 --> 01:36:06,374
I've been in lots of gardens and I've
never heard flowers talk before.
1204
01:36:06,460 --> 01:36:07,973
Feel the ground.
1205
01:36:12,380 --> 01:36:13,938
It's very hard.
1206
01:36:14,140 --> 01:36:18,292
Ah, in most gardens the
flower-beds are too soft,
1207
01:36:18,340 --> 01:36:20,251
so the flowers are always asleep.
1208
01:36:20,340 --> 01:36:23,059
I see... I never thought of that.
1209
01:36:23,140 --> 01:36:27,053
In my opinion, I doubt if you ever think at all.
1210
01:36:30,220 --> 01:36:32,814
Hold your tongue, all of you!
1211
01:36:32,980 --> 01:36:34,538
Now which way out of the wood?
1212
01:36:34,860 --> 01:36:35,929
That way.
1213
01:36:36,620 --> 01:36:37,814
That way.
1214
01:36:38,060 --> 01:36:40,494
Ere this way... that way!
1215
01:36:40,580 --> 01:36:42,616
Definitely that way.
1216
01:36:42,700 --> 01:36:46,579
That way! That way... er.
1217
01:36:46,620 --> 01:36:48,850
Over there! Don't step on us!
1218
01:37:14,060 --> 01:37:19,088
Look, we're standing still as waxworks.
1219
01:37:19,260 --> 01:37:20,852
And if you think we're waxworks
1220
01:37:20,940 --> 01:37:23,579
you should pay for the privilege of looking.
1221
01:37:24,220 --> 01:37:26,609
Wax-works aren't made to
be looked at for nothing.
1222
01:37:26,820 --> 01:37:28,811
No-how!
1223
01:37:28,900 --> 01:37:34,213
Contrariwise, if you think we're alive,
we ought to introduce ourselves.
1224
01:37:35,260 --> 01:37:40,459
I am Mr Tweedledum and
this is Mr Tweddledee.
1225
01:37:41,300 --> 01:37:42,210
I'm Alice.
1226
01:37:43,820 --> 01:37:47,096
Does the name Veronica
Buff mean anything to you?
1227
01:37:47,140 --> 01:37:48,653
No, who is she?
1228
01:37:48,740 --> 01:37:51,777
I don't know but we're obviously
doing her a favour mentioning her.
1229
01:37:51,860 --> 01:37:54,420
Do you think she'll be grateful
if she becomes famous?
1230
01:37:54,620 --> 01:37:55,848
No-how!
1231
01:37:56,900 --> 01:37:59,653
I was just thinking of that poem of you two.
1232
01:38:00,340 --> 01:38:02,331
"Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
1233
01:38:02,420 --> 01:38:04,058
Agreed to have a battle.
1234
01:38:04,140 --> 01:38:06,608
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
1235
01:38:06,700 --> 01:38:09,294
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
1236
01:38:09,380 --> 01:38:11,940
Just then flew down a monstrous crow.
1237
01:38:12,020 --> 01:38:14,056
As black as a tar-barrel.
1238
01:38:14,220 --> 01:38:16,290
Which frightened both the heroes so.
1239
01:38:16,380 --> 01:38:18,416
They quite forgot their quarrel.
1240
01:38:22,940 --> 01:38:24,658
There's no monstrous crow!
1241
01:38:24,980 --> 01:38:27,289
You recited that poem very nicely.
1242
01:38:27,380 --> 01:38:29,098
Congratters... but it isn't us,
1243
01:38:29,140 --> 01:38:30,334
No-how!
1244
01:38:30,420 --> 01:38:33,492
No it's another set of er
Tweedledums and Tweedledees.
1245
01:38:33,540 --> 01:38:37,135
Altogether completely different
people, the names are the same.
1246
01:38:37,500 --> 01:38:39,456
Contrariwise, you began all wrong.
1247
01:38:39,500 --> 01:38:42,173
Yes yes. After you said "I'm Alice",
1248
01:38:42,220 --> 01:38:45,132
you should've said "How
do-dee" and shake hands.
1249
01:38:45,420 --> 01:38:46,296
Da-daa,
1250
01:38:46,580 --> 01:38:48,775
Now shake!
1251
01:38:53,140 --> 01:38:54,653
Here we go round the mulberry bush,
1252
01:38:54,740 --> 01:38:56,332
the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush.
1253
01:38:56,420 --> 01:38:58,251
Here we go around the mulberry bush,
1254
01:38:58,300 --> 01:39:00,131
On a cold and frosty morning.
1255
01:39:03,660 --> 01:39:05,696
Twice around is enough for any dance!
1256
01:39:06,100 --> 01:39:07,931
I hope you're not too tried?
1257
01:39:08,740 --> 01:39:12,813
No way, no way. Thank you for asking.
1258
01:39:15,940 --> 01:39:20,809
As we began with poetry and
song, let's continue that way.
1259
01:39:20,900 --> 01:39:23,619
I'm sorry I haven't the time.
1260
01:39:25,580 --> 01:39:28,617
Neither have we. We never carry a watch.
1261
01:39:28,740 --> 01:39:30,378
No-how!
1262
01:39:31,860 --> 01:39:35,091
The poem's called "The
Walrus and the Carpenter".
1263
01:39:35,180 --> 01:39:36,249
You'll love it.
1264
01:39:39,860 --> 01:39:41,088
Da-daa!
1265
01:39:41,660 --> 01:39:42,979
You start brother mine.
1266
01:39:45,020 --> 01:39:47,488
The sun was shining on the sea.
1267
01:39:47,580 --> 01:39:49,138
Yes, yes, yes...
1268
01:39:49,260 --> 01:39:51,012
The Sun was shining on the sea.
1269
01:39:51,100 --> 01:39:52,692
Shining with all his might.
1270
01:39:52,780 --> 01:39:55,578
He did his very best to make
the billows smooth and bright.
1271
01:39:55,620 --> 01:39:58,259
And this was odd, because it
was the middle of the night.
1272
01:39:59,580 --> 01:40:03,493
The Walrus and the Carpenter
were walking close at hand.
1273
01:40:03,580 --> 01:40:07,414
They wept like anything to
see Such quantities of sand.
1274
01:40:07,500 --> 01:40:10,890
If this were only cleared away...
1275
01:40:10,980 --> 01:40:12,857
It really would be grand!
1276
01:40:12,940 --> 01:40:16,979
If seven maids with seven
mops swept it for half a year,
1277
01:40:17,100 --> 01:40:21,412
do you suppose that they could get it clear?
1278
01:40:21,660 --> 01:40:23,651
I doubt it very much...
1279
01:40:24,180 --> 01:40:26,740
And he shed a bitter tear.
1280
01:40:34,420 --> 01:40:35,409
Sorry!
1281
01:40:38,340 --> 01:40:39,375
Hello!
1282
01:40:40,340 --> 01:40:42,490
Oooo!
1283
01:40:44,180 --> 01:40:48,059
Oh Oysters, will you walk with us?
1284
01:40:48,220 --> 01:40:49,892
The Walrus did beseech.
1285
01:40:50,380 --> 01:40:55,215
A pleasant walk, a pleasant
talk along the briny beach.
1286
01:40:55,620 --> 01:41:01,092
But we cannot do with more
than four, to give a hand to each.
1287
01:41:01,300 --> 01:41:04,417
The eldest Oyster looked at
him, but never a word he said.
1288
01:41:08,180 --> 01:41:11,650
Meaning to say he did not
choose to leave the oyster-bed.
1289
01:41:13,340 --> 01:41:17,299
But four young Oysters hurried
up, all eager for the treat.
1290
01:41:17,420 --> 01:41:19,536
Their coats were brushed,
their faces washed,
1291
01:41:19,620 --> 01:41:22,851
Their shoes were clean
and neat, and this was odd.
1292
01:41:22,900 --> 01:41:24,219
And why was that?
1293
01:41:24,300 --> 01:41:26,097
Because they hadn't any feet.
1294
01:41:27,980 --> 01:41:33,976
"The time has come", the Walrus
said, "to talk of many things."
1295
01:41:34,100 --> 01:41:37,570
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax.
1296
01:41:37,700 --> 01:41:41,488
Of cabbages and king.
1297
01:41:41,980 --> 01:41:46,212
And why the sea is boiling hot,
1298
01:41:46,300 --> 01:41:50,339
And whether pigs have wings.
1299
01:41:51,020 --> 01:41:54,979
"Wait a bit!" the Oysters cried,
"before we have our chat."
1300
01:41:55,060 --> 01:41:58,689
For some of us are out of
breath, and all of us are fat.
1301
01:41:59,660 --> 01:42:01,651
There really is no hurry.
1302
01:42:01,780 --> 01:42:04,010
We thank you very much for that.
1303
01:42:04,140 --> 01:42:07,132
A slice of bread is what we chiefly need.
1304
01:42:07,220 --> 01:42:12,419
Pepper and vinegar besides
are very good indeed.
1305
01:42:12,540 --> 01:42:18,092
So if you're ready, Oysters
dear, we can begin to feed.
1306
01:42:18,780 --> 01:42:21,135
But not on us! Not on us!
1307
01:42:21,220 --> 01:42:23,734
See we're turning a little blue.
1308
01:42:23,860 --> 01:42:28,172
After such kindness, that
would be a dismal thing to do!
1309
01:42:28,260 --> 01:42:34,176
Yes, it was very kind of you to
come! And you're very nice
1310
01:42:34,260 --> 01:42:37,809
Give another slice, my
friend give us another slice.
1311
01:42:37,900 --> 01:42:41,859
I wish you were not quite so
deaf, I've had to ask you twice!
1312
01:42:42,940 --> 01:42:48,572
Well, it seems a shame I must
confess to play them such a trick.
1313
01:42:48,900 --> 01:42:54,054
When we've brought them so far,
and made them trot so quick!
1314
01:42:55,460 --> 01:42:59,931
Look at this, oh look at this
The butter's spread too thick!
1315
01:43:00,820 --> 01:43:10,092
I weep for you, I really
do: I deeply sympathize
1316
01:43:10,500 --> 01:43:14,618
With sobs and tears he sorted
out those of the largest size.
1317
01:43:14,700 --> 01:43:18,454
Holding his pocket handkerchief
before his streaming eyes.
1318
01:43:18,580 --> 01:43:19,854
Oh Oysters,
1319
01:43:20,700 --> 01:43:24,090
I have to say, you've had a pleasant run!
1320
01:43:24,580 --> 01:43:26,730
Shall we be trotting home again!
1321
01:43:27,100 --> 01:43:29,660
But answer came there none.
1322
01:43:29,780 --> 01:43:32,340
And this was scarcely odd because
1323
01:43:32,580 --> 01:43:35,492
They'd eaten every one.
1324
01:43:38,380 --> 01:43:43,329
O woeful, weeping Walrus,
your tears are all a sham.
1325
01:43:43,460 --> 01:43:47,419
You're greedier for oysters
than children are for jam.
1326
01:43:54,060 --> 01:43:55,334
So what's the verdict?
1327
01:43:57,020 --> 01:43:59,090
I like the Walrus best
1328
01:43:59,180 --> 01:44:02,138
because he did feel a
little sorry for the oysters.
1329
01:44:02,580 --> 01:44:05,811
Chaa! He ate more than Carpenter.
1330
01:44:06,220 --> 01:44:09,735
In that case I like Carpenter better...
1331
01:44:09,820 --> 01:44:12,209
if he didn't eat as many as Walrus.
1332
01:44:12,660 --> 01:44:14,252
He ate as many as he could get.
1333
01:44:14,580 --> 01:44:17,094
Then they're both very nasty characters...
1334
01:44:18,340 --> 01:44:19,295
Duh!
1335
01:44:27,100 --> 01:44:28,772
Is that a lion or a tiger?
1336
01:44:29,580 --> 01:44:30,569
Worse!
1337
01:44:31,540 --> 01:44:32,336
What is it?
1338
01:44:32,620 --> 01:44:34,372
It was the Red King snoring.
1339
01:44:34,940 --> 01:44:37,738
Yes he's the King of Heart's
lazy, no-good brother.
1340
01:44:37,820 --> 01:44:39,253
Every family has one.
1341
01:44:39,340 --> 01:44:40,329
Except ours...
1342
01:44:40,460 --> 01:44:42,098
We've got two.
1343
01:44:42,860 --> 01:44:44,293
Come let's have a look at him.
1344
01:44:57,860 --> 01:44:59,896
He'll catch a cold lying there.
1345
01:45:00,140 --> 01:45:02,335
He won't mind, he's dreaming about you.
1346
01:45:02,420 --> 01:45:04,092
You're only a sort of thing in his dream.
1347
01:45:04,220 --> 01:45:07,417
Yes if he woke up now, you'd go out... puff!
1348
01:45:08,780 --> 01:45:09,974
I would not!
1349
01:45:10,020 --> 01:45:13,695
Besides if I'm only a sort of thing in
his dream, then what are you two?!
1350
01:45:19,580 --> 01:45:20,410
I'm going!
1351
01:45:22,700 --> 01:45:24,258
Well, all's well that ends well.
1352
01:45:26,780 --> 01:45:28,532
What is that?!
1353
01:45:32,300 --> 01:45:33,415
It's your rattle.
1354
01:45:33,500 --> 01:45:35,650
You left it in the grass!
1355
01:45:36,220 --> 01:45:37,494
It looks a bit battered.
1356
01:45:38,180 --> 01:45:41,172
Uh! It's spoilt!
1357
01:45:41,500 --> 01:45:44,253
Don't get so upset about an old rattle.
1358
01:45:44,340 --> 01:45:47,093
Old! It isn't old!
1359
01:45:47,340 --> 01:45:50,616
I bought yesterday. It's brand spanking new!
1360
01:45:52,820 --> 01:45:54,253
There's only one thing for it.
1361
01:45:55,740 --> 01:45:56,889
Get a new one.
1362
01:45:56,980 --> 01:45:58,618
Nothing so simple. No, no, no.
1363
01:45:58,660 --> 01:46:02,255
We have to fight for the
honour of the Tweedles.
1364
01:46:02,540 --> 01:46:03,450
Right!
1365
01:46:04,900 --> 01:46:09,928
Ned Tweedledum versus the superior
strength and skill of Fred Tweedledee.
1366
01:46:10,380 --> 01:46:12,496
Frankly it's a bitone-sided.
1367
01:46:12,540 --> 01:46:16,089
I know... I was an advisor
to the British Army. Wha!
1368
01:46:16,180 --> 01:46:18,535
I advised them not to take
him but they wouldn't listen.
1369
01:46:19,060 --> 01:46:21,290
This is fighting talk.
1370
01:46:26,220 --> 01:46:30,816
Urrrrxxx... knikk... grrrrrgninch... so is this!
1371
01:46:31,900 --> 01:46:36,690
She must help us dress for it...
amour... to protect our vital parts.
1372
01:46:41,740 --> 01:46:45,972
Whatever the outcome dear brother,
I shall remember you in my will.
1373
01:46:46,060 --> 01:46:50,338
No money of course, but I shall
write "I remember you Fred".
1374
01:46:50,860 --> 01:46:54,978
I appreciate the thought but
I'd rather have the cash, Ned.
1375
01:46:58,300 --> 01:47:00,018
Why are you only wearing one sock?
1376
01:47:00,660 --> 01:47:01,729
I'm trying to save money.
1377
01:47:03,420 --> 01:47:04,455
Do I look pale?
1378
01:47:05,420 --> 01:47:06,296
A little.
1379
01:47:06,460 --> 01:47:09,736
Generally of course I'm very brave
but today I have a headache.
1380
01:47:10,460 --> 01:47:13,179
And I've got a... a toothache...
1381
01:47:13,260 --> 01:47:14,739
Which makes us even!
1382
01:47:15,300 --> 01:47:17,131
You'd better not fight today then.
1383
01:47:17,220 --> 01:47:20,098
Oh, we must have a bit
of a fight, it's expected
1384
01:47:20,580 --> 01:47:22,252
And all because of a rattle!
1385
01:47:22,340 --> 01:47:25,093
Yes, well I wouldn't have
minded but it was brand new!
1386
01:47:25,260 --> 01:47:27,649
It seems a bit petty.
1387
01:47:27,740 --> 01:47:31,016
Yes, indeed! That's exactly
why it's so important.
1388
01:47:33,420 --> 01:47:35,172
Arrghh!
1389
01:48:15,340 --> 01:48:17,171
The Blues!
1390
01:48:17,260 --> 01:48:18,818
The Blues!
1391
01:48:53,700 --> 01:48:54,928
It's the crow!
1392
01:48:55,340 --> 01:48:57,774
The monstrous crow!
1393
01:49:23,620 --> 01:49:26,498
Alice, you are hereby
and forewith summoned
1394
01:49:26,540 --> 01:49:29,259
to attend the trial of Sir
Jack, the Knave of Hearts.
1395
01:49:50,180 --> 01:49:51,454
How do I look?
1396
01:49:51,580 --> 01:49:53,889
Too early to say.
1397
01:50:08,260 --> 01:50:10,933
Try it again on soprano-sax.
1398
01:50:27,660 --> 01:50:28,854
What are they doing?
1399
01:50:29,020 --> 01:50:32,376
They can't have anything to
write, the trial hasn't begun yet.
1400
01:50:32,460 --> 01:50:33,973
They're putting down their own names
1401
01:50:34,060 --> 01:50:36,972
in case they forget them
by the time the trial is over.
1402
01:50:38,500 --> 01:50:40,058
Stupid things.
1403
01:50:41,100 --> 01:50:43,170
How do you spell stupid?
1404
01:50:43,420 --> 01:50:45,809
S-T-
1405
01:50:46,460 --> 01:50:47,495
What's after T?
1406
01:50:47,660 --> 01:50:51,369
Dinner! Is it dinner time?
1407
01:50:51,460 --> 01:50:52,813
It's dinner time!
1408
01:50:52,940 --> 01:50:54,134
No it isn't.
1409
01:50:55,260 --> 01:50:57,490
I was sure it was dinner time, my
stomach feels like my throat's been cut...
1410
01:50:57,580 --> 01:50:59,059
Silence in Court!
1411
01:51:07,020 --> 01:51:09,898
Quiet! Silent!
1412
01:51:15,900 --> 01:51:19,688
It's your own fault Cedric. You're too easy.
1413
01:51:19,820 --> 01:51:23,256
Chop off more heads. It's wonderful!
1414
01:51:23,420 --> 01:51:26,093
Chop, chop and there's blood everywhere...
1415
01:51:26,900 --> 01:51:28,970
It makes you proud to be Queen.
1416
01:51:29,660 --> 01:51:30,490
He missed!
1417
01:51:30,580 --> 01:51:33,652
Oh he did? Nevermind, I felt it anyway.
1418
01:51:33,780 --> 01:51:35,691
I'm not going to be called, am I?
1419
01:51:35,820 --> 01:51:37,378
Called what?
1420
01:51:37,460 --> 01:51:40,577
I don't want to stand up in
front of all these people.
1421
01:51:40,660 --> 01:51:41,854
Why am I here?
1422
01:51:42,420 --> 01:51:45,378
To save Jack from a death worse than fate.
1423
01:51:47,540 --> 01:51:49,337
Clerk of the Court, read the accusation!
1424
01:51:52,100 --> 01:51:55,092
The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts.
1425
01:51:55,140 --> 01:51:57,335
All on a summer day.
1426
01:51:57,500 --> 01:52:00,890
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts.
1427
01:52:00,980 --> 01:52:03,335
And took them right away...
1428
01:52:03,420 --> 01:52:04,819
Oh, I confess!
1429
01:52:04,900 --> 01:52:05,969
I didn't do it!
1430
01:52:06,300 --> 01:52:09,451
And I'm glad, glad, glad I didn't do it!
1431
01:52:10,100 --> 01:52:14,457
And if I had my time again, I
probably still wouldn't do it.
1432
01:52:15,060 --> 01:52:17,620
Bang! An open and shut case.
1433
01:52:17,700 --> 01:52:19,372
That can't be right!
1434
01:52:19,460 --> 01:52:21,052
Did you say something, Alice?
1435
01:52:21,140 --> 01:52:22,778
No.
1436
01:52:22,860 --> 01:52:23,975
I'm glad that's over.
1437
01:52:24,100 --> 01:52:27,536
Members of the jury,
twelve good pigs and true
1438
01:52:27,660 --> 01:52:30,697
you must retire and consider your verdict.
1439
01:52:30,860 --> 01:52:32,657
- Not yet!
- Why not?
1440
01:52:33,180 --> 01:52:35,535
There's a great deal more to
come before you can say that.
1441
01:52:36,300 --> 01:52:40,088
That's odd - not to say strange.
1442
01:52:40,540 --> 01:52:45,216
Gentlemen of the jury it's
obvious the accused is guilty.
1443
01:52:46,100 --> 01:52:50,890
Put aside the evidence and look at his face...
1444
01:52:51,260 --> 01:52:54,775
It is the face of a habitual criminal.
1445
01:52:54,860 --> 01:52:58,136
A hardened felon, a recalcitrant rogue...
1446
01:52:59,260 --> 01:53:00,898
What is it?
1447
01:53:00,980 --> 01:53:03,448
We're lawyers for the defence!
1448
01:53:03,580 --> 01:53:06,777
Oh, I... er... rest my case.
1449
01:53:07,020 --> 01:53:08,419
Call the first witness.
1450
01:53:08,540 --> 01:53:10,496
Call the first witness!
1451
01:53:10,700 --> 01:53:12,895
CALL the first witness!
1452
01:53:12,940 --> 01:53:14,817
Call the first witness!
1453
01:53:14,860 --> 01:53:16,657
Call the first witness!
1454
01:53:17,260 --> 01:53:18,898
Call the first witness!
1455
01:53:19,700 --> 01:53:21,691
Call the first witness!
1456
01:53:22,140 --> 01:53:24,574
Call the first witness!
1457
01:53:28,580 --> 01:53:29,251
Good day!
1458
01:53:29,460 --> 01:53:30,097
Good day!
1459
01:53:30,180 --> 01:53:31,329
Snap!
1460
01:53:32,380 --> 01:53:34,689
I'm sorry about bringing
these things in with me
1461
01:53:34,780 --> 01:53:37,897
but I hadn't quite finished
my tea when I was sent for.
1462
01:53:38,100 --> 01:53:39,931
He never finishes his tea.
1463
01:53:40,060 --> 01:53:43,973
It isn't healthy, all those cucumber
sandwiches. Look at his legs!
1464
01:53:44,300 --> 01:53:45,130
I can't.
1465
01:53:45,220 --> 01:53:46,335
That's what I mean!
1466
01:53:46,420 --> 01:53:48,570
He's got a case of "cucumber legs".
1467
01:53:48,660 --> 01:53:52,175
The worst I've ever seen and
I've seen a few in my time.
1468
01:53:52,300 --> 01:53:54,495
Well you're a fine one to talk tubby!
1469
01:53:54,580 --> 01:53:56,411
You ought to have finished tea.
1470
01:53:56,620 --> 01:53:58,019
What time did you start?
1471
01:53:58,100 --> 01:53:59,738
I'll have to ask Mr Hare.
1472
01:53:59,780 --> 01:54:00,690
Send for him...
1473
01:54:04,580 --> 01:54:05,695
I didn't finish the sentence.
1474
01:54:05,940 --> 01:54:09,171
- You haven't passed one yet, Your Majesty.
- Oh, that's right.
1475
01:54:09,380 --> 01:54:12,053
When did we start tea? Fourteenth, wasn't it?
1476
01:54:12,300 --> 01:54:13,289
Fifteenth.
1477
01:54:13,420 --> 01:54:14,489
Sixteenth.
1478
01:54:14,740 --> 01:54:16,253
Write that down.
1479
01:54:17,540 --> 01:54:20,100
Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen.
1480
01:54:21,180 --> 01:54:25,458
Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen.
1481
01:54:25,540 --> 01:54:33,049
Now, subtract, multiply, and
convert to grams and kilos.
1482
01:54:34,860 --> 01:54:36,691
What's the answer?
1483
01:54:38,420 --> 01:54:40,138
They're slow.
1484
01:54:40,260 --> 01:54:42,649
They should be able to do it in their heads.
1485
01:54:42,980 --> 01:54:44,732
Off with them.
1486
01:54:49,940 --> 01:54:52,738
That hat! Disrespect of this Court. Take it off!
1487
01:54:53,220 --> 01:54:55,370
And his head with it.
1488
01:54:55,500 --> 01:54:57,297
I can't, Your Honour.
1489
01:54:57,420 --> 01:54:58,853
Why can't you take it off, pray?
1490
01:54:58,940 --> 01:54:59,975
It isn't mine.
1491
01:55:00,100 --> 01:55:01,772
Stolen!
1492
01:55:02,060 --> 01:55:03,778
Members of the Jury, write that down!
1493
01:55:05,580 --> 01:55:09,129
Stolen hat, one. This man
is a self-confessed thief
1494
01:55:10,540 --> 01:55:13,452
and he has the gall to come into
this court as a character witness!
1495
01:55:13,540 --> 01:55:15,212
The King seems very prejudiced.
1496
01:55:15,300 --> 01:55:16,619
Oh thank you, Alice.
1497
01:55:16,660 --> 01:55:19,015
That's what makes me so
eminently qualified to be a judge.
1498
01:55:19,060 --> 01:55:19,890
Oh yes!
1499
01:55:19,980 --> 01:55:21,891
Don't I know you?
1500
01:55:25,540 --> 01:55:29,692
I sell hats. I've none of my own.
1501
01:55:29,740 --> 01:55:31,059
I'm um um a hatter.
1502
01:55:31,140 --> 01:55:33,859
Then why didn't you say so. That's
the first thing you should've said.
1503
01:55:39,100 --> 01:55:42,809
Now give us your evidence.
1504
01:55:43,900 --> 01:55:45,015
Don't be nervous...
1505
01:55:45,140 --> 01:55:46,255
Oh no no no...
1506
01:55:46,340 --> 01:55:48,695
Or we'll execute you on the spot.
1507
01:55:54,260 --> 01:55:55,739
I'm not nervous.
1508
01:55:55,900 --> 01:55:58,255
I've nothing to hide.
1509
01:55:58,660 --> 01:56:00,855
Done my duty, served my country...
1510
01:56:00,980 --> 01:56:02,777
I do know you.
1511
01:56:04,580 --> 01:56:08,255
Didn't we meet in Biarritz in the summer
of '41? Or wasn't it Heidelberg?
1512
01:56:08,340 --> 01:56:09,534
Hatter! Your evidence!
1513
01:56:09,780 --> 01:56:11,896
He' s just making him more nervous.
1514
01:56:12,180 --> 01:56:13,852
Stay calm, Mr Hatter!
1515
01:56:14,420 --> 01:56:18,811
I'm a poor man, Your Honour,
and I haven't had my tea.
1516
01:56:19,180 --> 01:56:22,729
And what with the sandwiches getting
ruined after being eaten once...
1517
01:56:22,820 --> 01:56:24,651
and the twinkling of the tea cups...
1518
01:56:24,780 --> 01:56:25,895
Twinkling?
1519
01:56:26,020 --> 01:56:28,090
You're the "Twinkler"!
1520
01:56:28,540 --> 01:56:35,093
I remember, you sang at my
concert "Twinkle, twinkle little..."
1521
01:56:37,020 --> 01:56:38,612
Twinkle, Twinkle little gnat.
1522
01:56:38,700 --> 01:56:40,292
How I wonder what you're at.
1523
01:56:40,340 --> 01:56:43,855
You are very small indeed
you can vanish up my sleeve.
1524
01:56:43,940 --> 01:56:45,578
Up my sleeve, up my sleeve.
1525
01:56:45,620 --> 01:56:50,819
You can vanish up my sleeve.
1526
01:56:59,140 --> 01:57:00,573
We don't do encores.
1527
01:57:00,700 --> 01:57:03,851
But we're available for
weddings and funerals.
1528
01:57:03,980 --> 01:57:10,089
You did sing at my concert.
But this was even worse!
1529
01:57:10,940 --> 01:57:12,931
I've been practicing!
1530
01:57:14,180 --> 01:57:17,729
It's an offence against all we hold dear.
1531
01:57:18,420 --> 01:57:25,019
Cedric, this man ruined my concert
just as he's ruining your trial!
1532
01:57:25,180 --> 01:57:27,216
Oh! Sire, I'm a poor man,
1533
01:57:27,300 --> 01:57:30,451
I stand before you full of
remorse and malnutrition.
1534
01:57:30,500 --> 01:57:32,252
When Mr March Hare said...
1535
01:57:32,420 --> 01:57:33,409
I deny it!
1536
01:57:33,500 --> 01:57:34,330
I object.
1537
01:57:34,380 --> 01:57:35,290
Objection denied.
1538
01:57:35,420 --> 01:57:36,296
Ask Dormouse.
1539
01:57:36,380 --> 01:57:37,495
Ask Dormouse what?
1540
01:57:37,540 --> 01:57:38,416
I can't remember.
1541
01:57:38,500 --> 01:57:40,536
You must remember or I'll have you executed!
1542
01:57:40,780 --> 01:57:42,577
Stand your ground, Mr Hatter!
1543
01:57:43,580 --> 01:57:47,050
I'm a very poor man, Your Majesty.
1544
01:57:47,260 --> 01:57:49,251
And a very poor actor!
1545
01:57:49,380 --> 01:57:50,938
Ooooo.
1546
01:57:51,180 --> 01:57:52,533
Suppress that cheering.
1547
01:58:04,100 --> 01:58:06,694
If that's all you know, you may stand down.
1548
01:58:06,780 --> 01:58:09,374
Well I can't get down any
lower, I'm on the floor as it is.
1549
01:58:09,460 --> 01:58:10,336
You may go.
1550
01:58:10,420 --> 01:58:11,739
Would you like another chorus of "Twinkle"?
1551
01:58:11,780 --> 01:58:12,735
GO!
1552
01:58:13,580 --> 01:58:15,775
Take off his head outside!
1553
01:58:16,140 --> 01:58:17,334
Call the next witness.
1554
01:58:17,780 --> 01:58:18,769
What about me?
1555
01:58:18,860 --> 01:58:20,498
What about you?
1556
01:58:22,380 --> 01:58:24,132
I'm the accused.
1557
01:58:24,220 --> 01:58:26,859
All you do is call witnesses!
1558
01:58:26,940 --> 01:58:28,259
It's not fair.
1559
01:58:28,340 --> 01:58:30,376
I should have the most important part here.
1560
01:58:30,900 --> 01:58:33,460
I haven't said a word for pages and pages...
1561
01:58:33,940 --> 01:58:36,249
What did you want to say?
1562
01:58:36,580 --> 01:58:39,617
I'd just like you to know that
I have no need to steal.
1563
01:58:39,700 --> 01:58:42,737
I'm independently wealthy.
1564
01:58:42,820 --> 01:58:45,732
I've all the money I need for the rest of my life
1565
01:58:46,140 --> 01:58:48,608
provided I die by one
am tomorrow morning...
1566
01:58:54,700 --> 01:58:56,691
We'll try and arrange it.
1567
01:58:57,020 --> 01:58:59,011
Well, that's all right then.
1568
01:59:01,180 --> 01:59:02,818
Jack's an idiot.
1569
01:59:02,900 --> 01:59:04,253
He's your nephew.
1570
01:59:04,380 --> 01:59:06,769
Only on my Father's side.
1571
01:59:19,140 --> 01:59:21,335
That's my cook. How dare she!
1572
01:59:30,580 --> 01:59:32,013
Give your evidence.
1573
01:59:32,140 --> 01:59:33,129
Shan't!
1574
01:59:34,380 --> 01:59:35,529
Shan't?
1575
01:59:35,620 --> 01:59:37,338
Shan't... shan't!
1576
01:59:38,660 --> 01:59:39,456
What now?
1577
01:59:39,540 --> 01:59:42,259
Your worship must
cross-examine the witness.
1578
01:59:42,340 --> 01:59:45,173
- Oh must I?
- Be a man, Cedric.
1579
01:59:45,260 --> 01:59:46,898
Be a man!
1580
01:59:47,660 --> 01:59:49,378
Oh, very well.
1581
01:59:50,780 --> 01:59:52,293
What are the tarts made of?
1582
01:59:53,300 --> 01:59:58,249
Ere what about repeating
the question, kind sir?
1583
01:59:58,380 --> 02:00:01,497
I recognize your accent... Girton College?
1584
02:00:01,580 --> 02:00:04,048
No, I went to Oxford, Misses.
1585
02:00:04,100 --> 02:00:06,898
You poor devil, and what did you study?
1586
02:00:07,020 --> 02:00:09,739
Ow to speak like this!
1587
02:00:17,740 --> 02:00:20,334
The witness will answer the question.
What are the tarts made of?
1588
02:00:20,420 --> 02:00:22,058
Pepper, mostly.
1589
02:00:22,580 --> 02:00:23,695
Treacle.
1590
02:00:23,780 --> 02:00:24,815
What did he say?
1591
02:00:24,860 --> 02:00:26,134
Treacle!
1592
02:00:26,180 --> 02:00:27,659
That's Mr Dormouse!
1593
02:00:27,740 --> 02:00:30,698
He's no right to be here.
Off with his whiskers!
1594
02:00:30,780 --> 02:00:31,929
Call the next witness!
1595
02:00:32,020 --> 02:00:34,295
Call Alice!
1596
02:01:04,660 --> 02:01:05,695
I'm sorry.
1597
02:01:06,420 --> 02:01:08,138
What's the matter Alice?
1598
02:01:08,900 --> 02:01:11,494
I don't like being called up here like this.
1599
02:01:11,620 --> 02:01:14,088
I should like it, if it happened to me.
1600
02:01:14,180 --> 02:01:17,490
Yes, most people like being
the centre of attention.
1601
02:01:17,540 --> 02:01:23,137
Now, what do you know about
this business with the tarts?
1602
02:01:24,180 --> 02:01:25,852
Nothing whatsoever!
1603
02:01:26,580 --> 02:01:28,172
That's very important.
1604
02:01:28,260 --> 02:01:30,694
Unimportant, Your Majesty.
1605
02:01:30,820 --> 02:01:33,573
Unimportant, of course,
is what I mean to say...
1606
02:01:33,740 --> 02:01:35,378
Unimportant.
1607
02:01:37,420 --> 02:01:39,251
Unimportant.
1608
02:01:39,700 --> 02:01:41,179
Important.
1609
02:01:41,740 --> 02:01:43,458
Unimportant.
1610
02:01:43,540 --> 02:01:47,328
I've told you all I know. I'd like
to go back to my seat now.
1611
02:01:47,420 --> 02:01:50,298
We're moved by your plea, but I
am reminded of Rule Forty-Two:
1612
02:01:50,380 --> 02:01:54,214
All persons more than a mile
high have to leave Wonderland.
1613
02:01:54,300 --> 02:01:55,938
I'm not a mile high.
1614
02:01:56,020 --> 02:01:57,499
You are.
1615
02:01:57,580 --> 02:01:59,616
More like two miles high!
1616
02:01:59,660 --> 02:02:01,332
You just invented that rule.
1617
02:02:01,380 --> 02:02:02,972
It's the oldest rule in the book.
1618
02:02:03,100 --> 02:02:05,216
Then it should be Rule Number One!
1619
02:02:06,100 --> 02:02:09,649
Careful Cedric, they're taking over the Court,
1620
02:02:09,780 --> 02:02:12,578
especially that girl.
1621
02:02:13,700 --> 02:02:15,019
Punish somebody.
1622
02:02:15,260 --> 02:02:17,899
You've too much to say for yourself Alice.
1623
02:02:18,700 --> 02:02:22,249
Jury consider your verdict.
1624
02:02:22,380 --> 02:02:28,171
No! Sentence first, verdict after.
1625
02:02:28,260 --> 02:02:29,613
That's stupid!
1626
02:02:30,300 --> 02:02:32,211
Have a care, Alice!
1627
02:02:32,340 --> 02:02:34,695
I can't let you condemn an innocent man.
1628
02:02:34,820 --> 02:02:36,936
Why not? It happens all the time.
1629
02:02:37,260 --> 02:02:38,454
Off with her...
1630
02:02:38,540 --> 02:02:40,371
Don't keep shouting "Off with her head"
1631
02:02:40,420 --> 02:02:43,253
in case someone shouts "Off with yours".
1632
02:02:43,820 --> 02:02:47,290
You've lost your last chance of staying here.
1633
02:02:47,380 --> 02:02:50,417
It's back to the real world for you, young lady!
1634
02:02:50,460 --> 02:02:51,654
I don't care!
1635
02:02:51,860 --> 02:02:55,375
All the tarts are here so how could
the prisoner have stolen them?!
1636
02:02:55,460 --> 02:02:57,416
There is no crime!
1637
02:02:58,660 --> 02:03:01,970
Alice! Don't you care what people think?
1638
02:03:03,140 --> 02:03:04,653
Not when I'm right.
1639
02:03:04,780 --> 02:03:06,975
Are you so confident, young lady?
1640
02:03:07,060 --> 02:03:08,539
Yes I am.
1641
02:03:09,500 --> 02:03:11,889
Yes I am confident!
1642
02:03:14,180 --> 02:03:17,456
Then you don't need us anymore.
1643
02:04:06,860 --> 02:04:08,009
Alice!
1644
02:04:09,100 --> 02:04:10,294
Alice!
1645
02:04:11,420 --> 02:04:12,694
I'm coming
1646
02:04:26,140 --> 02:04:28,256
I'm here, I'm here.
1647
02:04:28,300 --> 02:04:29,619
I'm back! Sorry, I'm late!
1648
02:04:29,660 --> 02:04:31,139
We were getting worried.
1649
02:04:37,060 --> 02:04:41,212
And now, our daughter,
Alice, is going to sing for us.
1650
02:04:53,300 --> 02:04:55,894
It's "Cherry Ripe" isn't it, dear?
1651
02:05:14,020 --> 02:05:15,135
No.
1652
02:05:17,900 --> 02:05:19,492
I've got a better one.
1653
02:05:21,220 --> 02:05:24,815
"Will You Walk A Little Faster
Said A Whiting To A Snail".
1654
02:05:25,340 --> 02:05:26,773
Are you sure, dear?
1655
02:05:26,860 --> 02:05:28,612
Yes, I'm sure.
1656
02:05:29,620 --> 02:05:35,297
"Will you walk a little faster?"
Said a whiting to a snail,
1657
02:05:35,380 --> 02:05:40,932
There's a porpoise close behind
us, and he's treading on my tail,
1658
02:05:40,980 --> 02:05:46,532
See how eagerly the lobster
and the turtles all advance!
1659
02:05:46,580 --> 02:05:51,859
They are waiting on the shingle.
Will you come and join the dance?
1660
02:05:51,900 --> 02:05:57,099
Will you won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1661
02:05:57,140 --> 02:06:03,454
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1662
02:06:03,540 --> 02:06:12,130
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1663
02:06:12,300 --> 02:06:13,858
Well done!
1664
02:06:14,660 --> 02:06:16,218
Enchanting!
121626
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