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1
00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:10,052
The one that got away.
2
00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,388
The biggest heartache
of my life was not
3
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:15,057
my husband and the father
of my children leaving me,
4
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:19,937
it was never being able to
truly land Manniford McClaine.
5
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,149
Yes, that was his real name,
6
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,067
and he was fabulous.
7
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:27,653
He was the captain of
my high school football team.
8
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,780
He was the leader of the pack.
9
00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:31,949
He had a jawline you could
stab your sister with.
10
00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,160
He was so gorgeous that
11
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,828
after years of having
my mother tell me,
12
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,205
"Your virtue is a garden,
keep it watered,
13
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,915
but behind a fence,"
14
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,792
I bring him over for dinner,
she takes one look at him,
15
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,043
and suddenly it's like,
"You know what?
16
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,295
"It's not a high fence.
17
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,880
"Just hop on over.
18
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:48,215
Here, step on my hands,
I'll give you a boost."
19
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,217
- We almost
went to prom together.
20
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:53,804
- Ooh!
- As friends, but still.
21
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:56,891
Then his old girlfriend, Satan,
moved back from Rhode Island
22
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,893
and they got back together,
got married,
23
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,145
had four kids
and bought a waterfront mansion
24
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:02,396
- in Oyster Bay.
- Ooh!
25
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,647
Yes. And...
26
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,024
Hey, is there any more
onion dip?
27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,150
Shh!
28
00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,568
Sorry.
29
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:08,944
Is there any more onion dip?
30
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,905
Continue, please.
31
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,866
Anyhow, the other day
I picked up a newspaper
32
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,951
and there on the front page
is a headline:
33
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,872
"Wall Street golden boy,
Manniford McClaine,
34
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:24,335
caught with head of wife
in trunk of car."
35
00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:27,004
That's right.
36
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,506
Manniford murdered his wife,
37
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,007
then drove around
with her head for an hour
38
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,592
before getting caught.
I couldn't believe it.
39
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:34,094
It-it had to be some other
Manniford McClaine.
40
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,430
But there he was,
in the paper, handcuffed,
41
00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:37,973
being perp-walked
into the station.
42
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,726
And I just thought, "My God...
43
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:43,145
he still looks fantastic."
44
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,231
No, I mean it,
45
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,858
better looking than high school.
I know,
46
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,069
my first thought should've been,
"Dodged that bullet."
47
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:54,615
Instead it was, "I don't know,
he's single, I'm single.
48
00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:56,784
If he beats this thing..."
49
00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:59,495
- Okay,
I'm gonna stop talking now.
50
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:01,497
Harriet's brother is supposed
to play something for us.
51
00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:03,207
Tommy? Play me off!
52
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,254
Thank you.
53
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,005
Oh. Thanks.
54
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:12,800
Onion dip.
55
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:19,431
♪ ♪
56
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,142
- ♪ Bye bye love ♪
- Yes!
57
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,396
♪ Bye bye happiness... ♪
58
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,189
Vivian, you're out of glasses.
59
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,984
Thanks for pointing out the
painfully obvious, Frederick.
60
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,861
Stay vigilant!
61
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,530
I think I'm in love
with Frederick.
62
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,532
Frederick?
He's with Letty in toiletries.
63
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,200
Letty dumped him days ago.
64
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:40,327
I heard he was in love
with Carroll in the back office.
65
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,579
- Who's she?
- He.
66
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:42,955
How very Grecian.
67
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,415
That is a terrible rumor
to spread.
68
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,875
These are getting heavy.
69
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,543
Counter.
70
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,378
Use plastic cups next time.
71
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,463
Pay for 'em and I'll use 'em.
72
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,966
Give me that.
Were you raised by bears?
73
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,761
Thanks, Mary.
74
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,096
Coming through!
75
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,475
- ♪ Hello emptiness ♪
- Careful.
76
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,311
Watch it.
77
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,854
This is a balance issue, people.
78
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,565
♪ Bye bye, my love,
good-bye-eye ♪
79
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,775
♪ Bye bye,
my love, good-bye-eye. ♪
80
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,987
Well done.
81
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,494
Oh, I'm so
Dasen-offen-upsetten-gruber.
82
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,038
I'm sorry?
83
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,664
Fraulein, please help me.
I'm so lost.
84
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,917
- I'm looking for the Reichstag.
- The Reichstag?
85
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,752
You don't know this famous
German building?
86
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,754
Gaudy, very big,
and no elevator?
87
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,548
Oy, those steps will leave you
uber-pooped! Ha.
88
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,926
You look
very familiar to me.
89
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,304
Do I know you? -No, no, I just
have one of those punims.
90
00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,056
What's your name?
91
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,599
My name, well, it's Ay-Rolf...
92
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,142
That's the first name...
93
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,393
"Jawohl," that's it.
94
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,062
- Not very common.
- Ay-Rolf.
95
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,313
Uh, and your last name?
96
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,481
Hitler... burg.
97
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,774
Well,
98
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,734
I've got to tell you,
Mr. Ay-Rolf Hitlerburg,
99
00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:56,362
you're a pretty long way
from the Reichstag.
100
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,073
Well, that bitch Himmler sent me
off completely unprepared.
101
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,324
Did I say "Himmler"?
102
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:01,867
I meant "Himmlerstein."
103
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,243
Well, what were his directions?
104
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,120
He said to take a left,
and another left,
105
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,705
- and then the Third Reich.
- "Right."
106
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,957
"Third Reich."
107
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,000
- "Right."
- Glad you agree.
108
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,835
Well,
109
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,504
you are a long way
from the fatherland.
110
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,923
Was is das?
111
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,925
Your German vocabulary's quite
impressive, by the way.
112
00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,844
- Danke.
- You are in New York City.
113
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,013
New York City, interesting.
114
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,307
Any place you can recommend
for a quick bite to eat?
115
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,017
I'm feeling a bit peckish.
116
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,061
Oh, well, there's an excellent
deli around the corner.
117
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,981
Yeah, deli's not really my thing.
118
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,315
Okay, what do you like?
119
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,442
Whatever's fascist. Fastest!
120
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,027
Oy, what a day this has been.
121
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,864
Pizza's here! Everybody pay up!
122
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,660
So, I'm not really
Ay-Rolf Hitlerburg.
123
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,161
Well, you had me fooled.
124
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,080
I'm Randall,
Vivian's fifth favorite cousin.
125
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,456
Midge,
Vivian's 34th best friend.
126
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:50,708
My what?
127
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,084
Nothing.
128
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,253
- Couple of comedians.
- Are you?
129
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,546
- Am I what?
- A comedian?
130
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,089
Oh, bad sign if you can't tell.
131
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,091
- No, you're hysterical.
- I'll take your pity.
132
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,260
Yes, I've been at it a while.
Almost made my living from it.
133
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,805
Got an agent, got a manager,
toured, did a little TV.
134
00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,807
In fact, I got to go.
135
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,935
I got a set downtown
in a half hour. -Oh.
136
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,603
Crappy time slot, but, oh, well.
137
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,689
- You ever try a brisket?
- A brisket?
138
00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:15,065
Personal joke.
139
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,191
See you again.
140
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,401
And don't be funny without me.
141
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,821
You can't have Randall,
I'm in love with him.
142
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,364
He's your cousin, Vivian.
143
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,907
Twice removed.
144
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,200
Let's talk, sweetie.
145
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,661
♪ ♪
146
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:37,463
♪ I'm strictly a female female ♪
147
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:41,258
♪ And my future I hope will be ♪
148
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,011
♪ In the home of a brave ♪
149
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,304
♪ And free male ♪
150
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,348
♪ Who'll enjoy being a guy ♪
151
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:51,268
♪ Having a girl... ♪
152
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,353
Hey, Jack Webb. Do I look like
someone who would use anything
153
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,813
you sell in this store?
154
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,648
Follow the men shopping
for their mistresses.
155
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,941
It's bound to be more fun.
156
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,319
This is a personal favorite.
157
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,196
But this one's a little bit
more dramatic.
158
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,281
You let me know if anything
speaks to you.
159
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,991
Oh, I don't know.
160
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,202
I've never worn
much makeup before.
161
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,495
This was my daughter's idea.
162
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,622
Blue would be a wonderful color
on you.
163
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,040
I don't know.
164
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:15,209
- Which one is that again?
- Mermaid Ice.
165
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,668
Would you like to try it on?
166
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,878
- I don't know.
- Here.
167
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,006
My daughter said
I should try more.
168
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,008
She says I should live a little
before it's all over.
169
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,259
Before what's all over?
170
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,345
My life.
She said it's a failure.
171
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,307
I don't participate; that's why
my husband won't talk to me.
172
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,976
She's been very outspoken
since she went to Radcliffe.
173
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,269
There.
174
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,355
What do you think?
175
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,940
I don't know.
176
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,025
Excuse me, is that Mermaid Ice?
177
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,402
I'm sorry, I'm in a big hurry.
My man's coming over
178
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,987
and I am all out
of my Mermaid Ice eye shadow.
179
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,364
And if I am not wearing that
when he gets home,
180
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,365
all hell breaks loose.
181
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,534
- Really?
- You kidding?
182
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,035
I couldn't get him
to give me the time of day,
183
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,079
much less give me the,
you know, time of day.
184
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,330
And then I came in here...
185
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:54,665
you remember when I came in here?
I do.
186
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,125
You came in here
and we talked about...
187
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,627
I told you my life was crap,
you sold me the Mermaid Ice,
188
00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,213
and now my life
is a fat, fuzzy peach.
189
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,715
I mean, I-I'm going broke 'cause
this stuff costs a fortune,
190
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,050
but, man, is it worth it.
191
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,468
- Well, my goodness.
- Yeah.
192
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,053
If it worked for you...
193
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,972
I'll take two.
194
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,140
Wonderful.
195
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,641
You will not be sorry.
196
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:14,268
Margo, would you mind
ringing up Mrs. Winters
197
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,603
while I help my return customer
over here?
198
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,648
Hello,
I can help you right here.
199
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,150
Well, well, well.
200
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,484
Just call me the closer.
201
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,820
I'm a little surprised
to see you.
202
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:28,240
Well, it's been a while
and last time we...
203
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,741
words were said and...
204
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,745
So, you're sorry?
205
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,789
- Sure.
- Good.
206
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,166
It's behind us.
207
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,834
So, this is where
you hang out now?
208
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,085
Well, you know
I never like to be
209
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,628
more than three feet
from a lipstick.
210
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,881
I do. -It's a good job.
The girls are really nice.
211
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,632
And there's a vending machine
in the employee break room
212
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,843
that's broken, so if you hit it
just right, free Abba-Zabas.
213
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:50,220
- Mm, you are living the dream.
- Sorry to interrupt.
214
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,097
Midge, my parents
are making me throw them
215
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,016
a 25th anniversary party Friday.
216
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,809
- Friday? Short notice.
- I know.
217
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,270
And I have no idea what people
of their age do at parties.
218
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,022
My mom keeps saying
the word canapés.
219
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,064
Is that an old people's dance?
220
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,066
It's a type of hors d'oeuvre.
221
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,152
You always know everything,
so any tips would help.
222
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,403
Hire help.
223
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,821
- And get chairs, lots of chairs.
- Right.
224
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,072
Old people sit.
225
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,199
And invite some of your friends
226
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,450
for a little moral support.
227
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,619
Who the hell would want to come
to something like this?
228
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,953
I'll come.
229
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,205
You will?
230
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,289
Oh, my God, I love you.
231
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,166
I love her.
232
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,792
Ha.
233
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,961
- Booked a gig.
- I'm sorry, what?
234
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,338
It's just this thing
that I've been doing lately.
235
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,839
I've been working
the party circuit.
236
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:26,965
Which means...?
237
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,926
I go to parties and I talk.
238
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,386
- As opposed to...?
- People like to hear me talk.
239
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,430
And so far, it's been young
parties, Viv's age.
240
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,098
I haven't really worked
an older crowd yet,
241
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,516
so this is
a perfect opportunity.
242
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,518
I'll-I'll have to adjust
a few of my references,
243
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,520
but you have to be able
to read an audience, right?
244
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,939
Uh-huh.
245
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,690
Uh, hey, are there large
quantities of narcotics
246
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,900
in these Abba-Zabas of yours?
247
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,193
I can't explain. I...
248
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,694
Just-just come and you'll see.
Friday.
249
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:51,114
- Oh, I can't. I have plans.
- What plans?
250
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,951
Uh, to not be bored or miserable
at some old fuck's party.
251
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,536
Come. You'll-you'll watch,
you'll see, you'll understand.
252
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,788
I'll-I'll call you
with the address.
253
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,081
Wear something... clean.
254
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,631
All right, everybody.
255
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,091
Time's up.
256
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,926
Put your papers on my desk
257
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,303
if they contain
the correct answers,
258
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:16,056
otherwise, just don't.
259
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,558
- Abe.
- Oh, hello, Irving.
260
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,893
What's up?
261
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,395
I want you to meet
Charles Connelly,
262
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,022
Executive Recruiter
from Bell Labs.
263
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,440
Bell Labs.
264
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,817
You got time to talk?
265
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,694
Uh, sure.
266
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,529
We're calling it
Project Echo, Abe.
267
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,323
A quantum leap
in satellite technology.
268
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,992
The commercial ramifications
of this could be huge.
269
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,827
Not to mention
its defense capabilities.
270
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,288
It would revolutionize
the communications industry.
271
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,956
And Bell Labs
is leading the pack.
272
00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,291
Abe, we're gathering
the best and the brightest
273
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,750
to help us get there first.
274
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,128
- May I stop you there?
- Of course.
275
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,214
I want no part of Sputnik panic.
276
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,424
This smacks of that.
277
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,009
There's no panic, Abe.
278
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,093
We're doing this right.
279
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,303
We never rush R&D.
280
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,387
Your colleague, Bill Chernik...
281
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,763
Bill and Abe have known
each other a long time.
282
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,849
Bill Chernik's a good man.
283
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,434
He's been consulting
with us for a while.
284
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,227
Ask him about us.
You'll like what you hear.
285
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,937
There's no way this could work.
286
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,856
My class load is so full.
287
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,899
We can help with that.
Take things off your plate.
288
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,319
No, I'm loath to do that.
289
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903
We'll work around your schedule.
290
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,697
An applied mathematician
of your skills
291
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,324
is in high demand these days.
292
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,200
We need you.
293
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,994
I told you he'd be a tough sell.
294
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,579
Which makes us want you more.
295
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,872
Pending a security clearance,
296
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,290
Bell Labs is
at your beck and call.
297
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:24,333
I need to get home.
298
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,959
Let me walk with you.
299
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,586
Please think it over.
300
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,629
Take some time.
And call with any questions.
301
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,423
- I doubt I'll have any.
- Call anyhow.
302
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,091
I'll give you the pitch
all over again.
303
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,177
And thanks for your time.
304
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,887
See you Monday, Abe.
305
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,225
We're going out to dinner!
306
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,393
Abe?
307
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:45,896
Rose, Rose, get in here.
308
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,898
We are going out to dinner.
309
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,984
Ruby Foo's, Le Pavillon,
name it.
310
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,028
Abe, slow down.
Why are we going out to dinner?
311
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,696
Bell Labs, Rose.
312
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,823
I got an offer to work
at Bell Labs.
313
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,909
- What?
- Bell Labs down in the village!
314
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,369
Oh, my God, Abe!
315
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,497
Oh, oh.
316
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,666
You should have seen me
with that recruiter.
317
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,752
I played it so cool.
318
00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,796
I kind of nodded like this,
319
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,255
was shaking my head
a little bit.
320
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,882
Very serious, very dubious.
321
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,551
Oh, you can look extremely dubious.
322
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,887
And he was eating
out of the palm of my hand.
323
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,098
This is the big leagues, Rose.
324
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,643
This... this is
the hotbed of invention.
325
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,562
That TV that you all
like so much,
326
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:31,233
courtesy of Bell Labs
transistor work. -No.
327
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,443
Grandpa,
I was watching that. -Oh.
328
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:37,948
Bardeen and Brattain and
Shockley won a Nobel for that.
329
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,033
And now I am in their ranks.
330
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,743
Where are we going for dinner?
331
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,161
What about a dinner?
332
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,579
We're going out.
The whole family.
333
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,872
Call Noah and Astrid.
334
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,708
He's got an offer
from Bell Labs.
335
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,086
Wow, Papa, congratulations.
336
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,671
Thank you very much.
337
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,172
You've been obsessing
on Bell Labs
338
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,799
- for, like, 20 years now.
- Mm-hmm.
339
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,217
I haven't been obsessing
on them.
340
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,094
My whole childhood, it was Bell
Labs this and Bell Labs that,
341
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,762
and, "My God,
I'd give up pastrami
342
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,013
for a job at Bell Labs."
343
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,348
I may have mentioned them.
344
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,891
A-And once a year, we'd tour
the building? The outside,
345
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,268
- because we weren't allowed in.
- You kids would play
346
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,936
on the sidewalk while your
father would jump up and down,
347
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,271
and try and peek in the windows.
Yes.
348
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,314
That may have happened
once or twice.
349
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,983
Is that my blouse?
350
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,110
Uh, yes, but it's not quite right.
For what?
351
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:18,238
Okay, I-I'm talking about
very important things here,
352
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,157
and you're talking
about clothes.
353
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:23,577
I have to get dressed.
Congratulations, Papa.
354
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,871
How often do I get
a job at Bell Labs
355
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,707
and no one wants
to celebrate with me?
356
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,585
Oh, Abe, my love, we will find
the perfect night to celebrate.
357
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,128
With Noah and Astrid?
358
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,337
Uh, they will be there.
359
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,755
I mean, it's Bell Labs.
360
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:38,467
And we, we are all
so very proud of you.
361
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,010
Mama, where's your green dress?
362
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,011
At the cleaners.
363
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,512
Oh, shoot.
364
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,767
I'm never sure
about me and peach.
365
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,437
Hmm. I am.
366
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,690
Here.
367
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:54,816
The Dior?
368
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,443
Oh, that's perfect.
369
00:12:56,485 --> 00:13:00,238
So, you're going to another party.
Hmm?
370
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,365
That's the fourth one
this week, isn't it?
371
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,493
Four this week, three last week.
372
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,952
Which, of course,
means they've already seen
373
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,162
everything in my closet.
374
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,705
Enter yours.
375
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:12,542
So, are these friends
of yours and Joel's?
376
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,544
No. New friends.
377
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:15,921
- Girls from work.
- Hmm.
378
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,380
What do you think?
379
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,549
Lovely, understated.
380
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,051
- Understated?
- Mm-hmm.
381
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,553
Next. -You don't want
to be understated?
382
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:24,846
I need to stand out.
383
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,264
Well, you always stand out.
384
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,141
I need to stand out
in a very specific way.
385
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,518
Well, you could wear nothing.
386
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,144
That would get
some sort of attention.
387
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,479
Don't I know it.
388
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,522
Now, tell me about...
389
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,106
Not until my funeral.
390
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:39,486
So tell me, are there men
at these, uh, parties?
391
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,530
They aren't nun parties, Mama.
392
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,823
Well, you know, a girl
standing alone at a party
393
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,575
- says just one thing.
- What's that?
394
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,993
- I'm prey. Hunt me.
- Perfect.
395
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,578
- Miriam.
- No, seriously,
396
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,330
I was looking
for a catchphrase. That's it.
397
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,748
You should wait
to go to these parties.
398
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:52,958
It's too soon.
399
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,334
I'll add some gloves to this.
400
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:55,752
That should give it some zazz.
401
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,379
- Miriam...
- Thanks for the dress, Mama.
402
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,381
Oh...
403
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,015
What are you doing here?
404
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,308
What am I...?
405
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,893
Y-You invited me
to this stupid party.
406
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:12,978
No, I mean on the elevator.
407
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,646
You're not leaving, are you?
408
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,481
No, I've been riding this thing
up and down for an hour
409
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,941
waiting for you to float in here
410
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,609
on your golden fucking
Icarus horse.
411
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,152
You got a pretty loose concept
of time, lady.
412
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,779
Cabs were scarce.
413
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,239
Well, are you waiting
for an engraved invitation?
414
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,490
Get in here.
415
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,911
Got to know
the building pretty well.
416
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,538
Old guy on six has cancer.
417
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,956
Oh, that's terrible.
418
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,833
I inspired him to reach out
to his daughter.
419
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,418
They've been on the outs
since she divorced.
420
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,669
She's here now, cooking for him.
421
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,795
That's nice.
422
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,505
Oh, you hear that?
423
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,299
Couple on the fourth floor,
they've been fighting
424
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,800
for a full half hour.
425
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,844
He pinched some girl's ass,
she saw.
426
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,929
May have been
the cancer guy's daughter.
427
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,181
Oh, I hope she did nothing
to encourage that.
428
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,392
You look nice, by the way.
429
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:53,518
Thanks.
430
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,769
Clean shirt?
431
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,354
Uh, define "clean."
432
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:02,193
Okay, this is the worst party
I've ever been to.
433
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,571
We just walked in the door.
434
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,239
Let's go get a hot dog
or something.
435
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,491
No, no, no, stay.
436
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,160
- Midge, hi.
- Hi, Mary.
437
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,995
This is my friend, Susie.
Susie, Mary.
438
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,164
Hi, Susie, come on in.
Meet the others.
439
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,790
Eh, I feel like I got it.
440
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:16,916
I'll see you inside, Mary.
441
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,544
Nice meeting you.
442
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,713
- What a drip.
- You're the drip.
443
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,506
Come on, get with
the program here.
444
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,925
Why would anyone in their
right mind go to parties?
445
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,719
I mean, just buy
some Sno Balls and a beer,
446
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,430
and take the subway at
rush hour, same fucking thing.
447
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,265
I-I'm sorry,
I just don't get it.
448
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,309
Midge, I think I'm in love.
449
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:36,978
Not again. -Come see him,
tell me if I'm crazy.
450
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,104
He's my dad's boss.
451
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,606
He's 70.
452
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,858
And deaf and married,
but keep an open mind.
453
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,276
That's my cue.
454
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,486
Huh?
455
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,408
Wait a minute.
456
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,913
Wait a minute.
457
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,040
I get it. I get it.
458
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,167
Mary? I get it.
459
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,835
Wow, your silver anniversary.
460
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,545
Your husband looks thrilled.
461
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,924
Maybe we do need a better
motivator for men
462
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,385
to get them to care
about the silver anniversary.
463
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,303
Because what man really cares
about silver?
464
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,890
Maybe 25 years is the Yankees
season tickets anniversary.
465
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,850
Yeah!
466
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,519
Yeah, and then
to get them to 50,
467
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,270
we need something really good.
468
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,648
Maybe it's the "another
woman's boobs" anniversary.
469
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,775
Mm-hmm.
470
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:27,612
Me, personally, I-I was never
great at gift-giving.
471
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,448
Maybe it's because I never
got to celebrate Christmas.
472
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,450
I got Hanukkah.
473
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,160
Doesn't exactly prepare you
the same way.
474
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,287
For Christmas,
a gentile would get a bike
475
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,415
as a reminder
that their parents love them.
476
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,875
For Hanukkah, we would get socks
477
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,086
as a reminder
that we were persecuted.
478
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,508
Hey. You look happy.
479
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:49,634
As a clam.
480
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,927
I ate all the clams, by the way.
481
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,470
See? Parties aren't so bad.
482
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,180
Hmm. I'm just trying to
figure out the best way
483
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,765
to hide a lobster under my hat.
484
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,726
- So, did you catch my set?
- Your what?
485
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,602
Just now. You hear all
the laughs I got?
486
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,979
Yeah, I heard the laughs.
487
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,147
Pretty funny, right?
488
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,314
You're a funny woman.
489
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,899
Could you pass the asparagus?
490
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,360
I did a version of the Hanukkah
run a couple weeks ago,
491
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,028
but I've honed it
a lot since then.
492
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,989
Yeah, that was some
top-notch honing, there.
493
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,283
Darling? Darling, over here!
494
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,951
Uh, yes, dear?
495
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,369
Come over here by the window.
496
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,038
You're gonna want to see this.
497
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,915
- Shh.
- What am I looking at?
498
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,834
Well, nothing, silly,
the curtains are closed.
499
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,627
I'm incorrigible.
500
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,463
Let's open the curtains here.
501
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,006
There, see?
502
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,507
It's the neighbors
across the way again.
503
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,967
The wife just got home.
504
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,719
She's taking off her coat,
505
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,512
and here comes her husband
to say hello,
506
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,680
and... oh!
507
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,848
Did you see that?
508
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,183
He fell hard.
509
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,018
What the heck did he slip on?
510
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,603
Whatever it is,
he's picking it up.
511
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:44,272
It looks like a towel... nope,
it's the cat.
512
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,232
- He slipped on the cat?
- And he is angry.
513
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,442
The cat or the man?
514
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,651
Well, they're both
pretty verklempt.
515
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,320
Oh, you're Jewish.
I never knew that.
516
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,113
20 years of marriage
and we're still learning things
517
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,157
- about each other.
- I like that about us.
518
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,909
He's struggling with the cat...
519
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,495
- The cat knocked his toupee off!
- The cat did him a favor.
520
00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,954
And he's thrown
the cat out the window.
521
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,498
Oh, my God!
522
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,707
And the car had to have
523
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,083
a fancy garage and a fancy
mansion to go with it.
524
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,127
But I didn't
expect you to get the money
525
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,879
He wouldn't
care where I get it from!
526
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,801
I told you to get it
and get out of that.
527
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,053
Poor Virginia.
528
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,680
Peter never listens to her,
now look at the mess he's in.
529
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,099
Men only hear men...
and bartenders.
530
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,644
She really thinks getting angry
will work?
531
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,355
Why don't these writers just
give her a boyfriend, or a gun?
532
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,190
- My God. So hostile today.
- I'm sorry.
533
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,650
I'm just a wreck right now.
534
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,276
- Everything's falling apart.
- Hold it.
535
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,278
What's the
best way to reduce?
536
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,280
Commercial. -Eat plenty?
Or starve yourself?
537
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,490
A half-empty...
538
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,617
Okay.
539
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,869
Miriam stopped wearing
her wedding ring.
540
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,538
Oh, we're gonna need the ball.
541
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,331
And Joel moved in
with that girlfriend.
542
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,083
- The secretary.
- The home-wrecker.
543
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,584
Like Sasha from
Edge of Night,
544
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,127
always spreading it around.
545
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,796
She's a nothing.
I know it won't last.
546
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:51,297
If the secretary were just
out of the picture,
547
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,674
Joel would come back.
548
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,217
You want her out of the picture?
549
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,052
I have cousins.
They have skills.
550
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,012
- I'm sorry?
- Nothing.
551
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,098
I'm looking at the ball.
552
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,016
I see a new man
walking toward Miriam.
553
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,476
Oh, my God, no.
554
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,395
But he walked right past.
Yes, he's gone.
555
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,855
- Feel better?
- It doesn't matter.
556
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,231
There'll be another man
and another
557
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,024
and another;
she's on the prowl.
558
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,694
Every night she gets all dolled
up and goes to these parties.
559
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,780
Like she's given up on Joel
and is trolling for husbands.
560
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,282
She doesn't understand.
561
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,867
Being a divorcée
is terrible, yes,
562
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,368
but being on your
second marriage is...
563
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:21,953
- Worse.
- So much worse.
564
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,621
Second marriage says failure.
565
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,957
At least divorcée
sounds continental.
566
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,084
It'd be better if Joel had died,
then she'd be a widow.
567
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,627
At least there's dignity
in that.
568
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,004
You want Joel to die?
569
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,797
Again, with the cousins.
570
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,341
- I don't understand.
- Okay, I give up.
571
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,760
I see an open path for Miriam.
572
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,971
She will find her way.
I promise.
573
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,390
Tell you what,
I'll make a tonic.
574
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:45,518
Pour it in her soup,
it will help the luck stick.
575
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,062
- Thank you, Drina.
- You still look worried.
576
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,981
I have the perfect thing.
577
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,357
A distraction.
578
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,196
♪ ♪
579
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,240
Shh, shh.
580
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:03,828
I think you'll love the color,
Mrs. Maracek. See you again.
581
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,790
And what color
would you recommend
582
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,834
for my unique complexion, Miss?
583
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,461
Pasty?
I'd recommend Spackle.
584
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,087
- And a putty knife.
- I'll pass.
585
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:15,048
- So what are you doing here?
- I have a proposition.
586
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,591
Oh, blessed day.
587
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:17,800
The ring department's
on the third floor.
588
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:18,927
Remember the four "C" s.
589
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,219
A business proposition.
590
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,387
But not here.
591
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,555
You have time later today?
592
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,349
I'm off in an hour.
593
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,142
Can you meet me at the Stage Deli?
Sure.
594
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,602
Great.
595
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,771
Point me to the
shoplifting department?
596
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,814
- Second floor, south side.
- Oh.
597
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,942
- Excellent service.
- Oh.
598
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:41,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
599
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,496
Oh. Hello there.
600
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,498
Midge, this is my karate
instructor, Lew Fogelman.
601
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,083
I'm Randall's agent.
602
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,251
He's with William Morris,
so look impressed.
603
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:53,878
I am impressed.
604
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,296
Midge Maisel.
605
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,714
I've heard good things.
606
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,091
I like you already.
607
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,343
We're sitting now.
608
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:03,054
So... my boy told me he was
having a bite with you,
609
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,472
and I was in the neighborhood.
610
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,182
Hope you don't mind
my stopping by.
611
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,184
The Stage Deli is open to all.
612
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,686
He's headed toward great things,
this one.
613
00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,187
- Just not in entertainment.
- Oh, will you shut up?
614
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,563
You're annoying us both.
615
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,815
I'm winningly self-deprecating.
616
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,400
It says so right there
on the new resumes
617
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,610
- you made me pony up for.
- Anyhow, he mentioned
618
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,362
that the two of you have been
teaming up lately,
619
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,655
which I find very interesting.
620
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,949
- Teaming up?
- Just at parties.
621
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,534
Just for fun. However,
622
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,036
have you ever thought about
doing it professionally?
623
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:29,706
- I-I don't understand.
- Sometimes a charming, funny guy
624
00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:32,959
with a cute, dizzy broad
on his arm is a good sell.
625
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,003
- And I'm the dizzy broad?
- Fine.
626
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:37,255
I'll be the dizzy broad and
you be the charming, funny guy.
627
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,840
Perfect.
628
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,425
So you want to do an act...
with me?
629
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,552
They're always looking
for duos like us
630
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:44,721
for commercials,
radio, industrials.
631
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,389
Company events...
You tell a few jokes,
632
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:47,849
you mention the product
a bunch of times,
633
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,183
you look pretty.
634
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,935
You can make decent money
at this.
635
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,521
Seriously? -RANDALL: We'd be
a booker's dream.
636
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:55,898
Who knows, we may be the next
Nichols and May.
637
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,360
- You don't know Nichols and May?
- Should I?
638
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:01,696
The next time they're in town,
you're going.
639
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,114
- We're going.
- Speaking of going,
640
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,782
I'll leave the two of you
to talk more.
641
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,826
Food's on me; keep it under
a thousand bucks.
642
00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:08,411
It's been a pleasure.
643
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:10,705
I'll send ten percent of
my matzo balls to you, Lew.
644
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,915
And I'll take it.
645
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:14,751
He's picking up our tab.
646
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,502
Excellent.
647
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:19,005
Next time, let's meet in
the shoe department at Saks.
648
00:22:19,047 --> 00:22:20,840
I don't care what
your fucking title is.
649
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,675
- It's house manager.
- Your dirtbag friends come in
650
00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:24,552
and sit in my section,
they got to order.
651
00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:26,846
They don't got to order, they're
guests of the house manager.
652
00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:28,890
Then sit them
in another section.
653
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,975
There's only one section,
your section.
654
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,393
I fucking quit, Susie.
655
00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:33,686
I'm heartbroken.
656
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:37,815
- Gaslight.
- Hey, it's Midge.
657
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,942
I left a bunch of messages
for you with Jackie.
658
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,861
- Did he give them to you?
- Hang on.
659
00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:44,697
Jackie, did you have messages
from Midge for me?
660
00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:46,949
- Possibly. -Asshole.
- Asshole.
661
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:50,078
You can't just throw in a random
off-topic "asshole."
662
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,370
An asshole has to be motivated.
663
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:52,789
You breathe. It's motivated.
664
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,665
Hey, you guys have got to get
a divorce.
665
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,084
I mean it.
666
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,543
What was your message?
667
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,587
I was just calling
to touch base.
668
00:22:59,629 --> 00:23:01,297
You left early the other night.
669
00:23:01,339 --> 00:23:03,633
- Well, they ran out of butter.
- Butter. Okay.
670
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:06,677
Uh, well, we should
get together again.
671
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,763
- Soon, okay?
- Yeah, sure.
672
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,224
Hey, what was the deal
with you and that guy?
673
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:14,060
- What guy? You mean Randall?
- I guess.
674
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,354
We've been doing these bits
together at parties for a while.
675
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:18,106
- They're a big hit.
- What, does he think
676
00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:19,982
- he's funny or something?
- He is funny.
677
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:22,693
You're kidding. -No.
He's a professional comedian.
678
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:25,154
He was even thinking we could
get some work doing industrials.
679
00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:27,073
- Industrials?
- Yeah.
680
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:29,575
What, you're gonna spin around
on a platform hawking Buicks?
681
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,994
What's wrong with that? Buicks
are very fine automobiles.
682
00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:33,704
Miriam,
he just sold you some line
683
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,665
'cause he wants
to get in your pants.
684
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,458
He does not want
to get in my pants.
685
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,836
- He wants to fuck you.
- He wants me to work with him..
686
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,004
He says we'll be like
Nichols and May.
687
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:43,422
Nichols and May don't fuck.
688
00:23:43,464 --> 00:23:45,091
Nichols and May totally fuck.
689
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,301
- That's not what he says.
- I walked in on them once
690
00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:49,512
in the bathroom here... even
their fucking was hilarious.
691
00:23:49,554 --> 00:23:51,514
Now you're just being
coarse and crude.
692
00:23:51,556 --> 00:23:52,682
Randall is totally legit.
693
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:54,308
I met his agent and everything.
694
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:56,310
You-you met his agent?
695
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:57,937
At the Stage Deli.
696
00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:00,273
Uh, Lew something,
from William Morris.
697
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:02,108
Nice guy. Bought us lunch.
698
00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,734
Susie, toilet's broken again.
699
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:06,779
You might want to send
the house manager to manage it.
700
00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,281
You did that on purpose.
701
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:09,532
Look, I got to go.
702
00:24:09,574 --> 00:24:11,534
Good luck with the Buicks.
703
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,290
I can't find my cuff links.
704
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,083
Did you check your cuffs, Papa?
705
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,836
These are my Gimbels' cuff
links, my everyday cuff links.
706
00:24:21,878 --> 00:24:24,380
- I need my Finchley cuff links.
- Abe, you look fabulous
707
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,424
- without them. Oh...
- It's a Finchley night.
708
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,009
I'm gonna check the kids' room.
709
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,011
The kids do not have
your Finchley cuff links.
710
00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:31,888
I had cuff links,
your kids moved in,
711
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,181
- I don't have cuff links.
- Mm.
712
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:34,515
Draw a conclusion.
713
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,392
Shalom! It's Astrid!
714
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:39,520
- Come on in, Astrid.
- Oh, hi!
715
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,813
Hello, you.
716
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:42,106
- Mwah!
- Where's Noah?
717
00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:43,900
Astrid, please
let me stop the car
718
00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:45,568
- before you get out.
- I'm sorry.
719
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:47,486
- We discussed this.
- I couldn't help it.
720
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:49,488
I-I got presents
from our trip to Israel.
721
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:51,699
Where are Esther and Ethan?
Where are my little pishers?
722
00:24:51,741 --> 00:24:53,451
Oh, they're already
at the babysitter's.
723
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,078
Oh, no. -Don't worry,
she tends to bring them back.
724
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,748
No cuff links. -Oh, you're
looking very handsome, Abe.
725
00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,708
I might as well be naked.
726
00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:02,168
That's an image
we're all happy to have.
727
00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:04,212
Pop, I got my hands
on the Bell Labs schematics
728
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:06,088
from a friend...
Lots of info, tons of specs.
729
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,256
Study. Now.
730
00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:08,799
He walks right past his mother?
731
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:11,385
Sorry, Ma. Good to see you.
Mwah. Mwah. -Mwah.
732
00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:12,887
Midget, good to see you, too.
733
00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:14,764
Eh. You I could take or leave.
734
00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:16,599
Really, Astrid,
my arms are getting tired.
735
00:25:16,641 --> 00:25:18,476
- Please put those down.
- It's just that your apartment's
736
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,102
so beautiful,
and I know you like everything
737
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,230
in a certain way,
so maybe Noah can just take them
738
00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:24,190
back to the car
until the kids get home, or...
739
00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,858
- Give this to me.
- Oh, thank you.
740
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,360
What's in the bag?
741
00:25:27,401 --> 00:25:28,694
Gefilte fish.
742
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:31,239
- My next guess.
- I tried a new recipe.
743
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,116
You'll be very happy... there are
no onions in this one, Rose.
744
00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:35,993
"Happy" doesn't
quite describe it.
745
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:37,912
- I'll take it, ma'am.
- Thank you, Zelda.
746
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:39,914
- You know where to...
- Yes, I do.
747
00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:41,582
Here. This is for you.
748
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:43,668
Honestly, Astrid,
you don't have to bring us gifts
749
00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:45,336
every time you go to Israel.
750
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:47,713
I... -What was this,
your sixth, seventh trip?
751
00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:49,090
- 11th.
- Oh.
752
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:52,134
Can't get enough
of the Holy Land.
753
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:58,933
What a beautiful mezuzah.
754
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:01,602
I'd never seen one
that big before.
755
00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:03,938
It looks like it ate
all the other mezuzahs.
756
00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:05,273
Is that bad?
757
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,400
- Oh. No.
- I could return it.
758
00:26:07,441 --> 00:26:10,278
To Israel? -Rose,
Bell Labs has two cafeterias.
759
00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:12,029
Different cuisines in each one.
760
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:13,906
I can choose.
I get to choose.
761
00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:15,574
I better start easing them out,
762
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:17,451
or they'll lose all interest
in dinner.
763
00:26:18,494 --> 00:26:20,496
I brought you a gift, too.
764
00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:22,540
Is it another giant mezuzah?
765
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,542
Oh, it is such a stupid gift.
766
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,544
- Astrid, no.
- No, Rose has a mezuzah.
767
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,629
You have a mezuzah.
It's not shoes...
768
00:26:28,671 --> 00:26:30,756
You can't just change them out
every season.
769
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:33,259
No, but if we ever move
to a very big house...
770
00:26:33,301 --> 00:26:35,261
Oh, I just wish Rose liked me.
771
00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,513
She likes you very much.
She loves you, Astrid.
772
00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:39,473
- I make her nervous.
- Breathing makes her nervous.
773
00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,225
I thought that converting
would help.
774
00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:43,519
I know that it's hard having
an outsider in your family.
775
00:26:43,561 --> 00:26:45,313
You are not an outsider.
776
00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:47,231
Mm-mm. I heard comments at our wedding.
No one commented.
777
00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:48,983
"What's up with the shiksa
Noah married?"
778
00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:52,194
- Aunt Gertie, once.
- I'm an outsider. I'm barren.
779
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:53,321
Astrid, you're young.
780
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,031
No, I'm not. I'm 30.
781
00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:56,657
We're seeing the fertility
doctor again tomorrow.
782
00:26:56,699 --> 00:26:59,827
He's one of the pioneers
in cervical cap inseminations.
783
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,287
Well, everyone looks good
in a cap.
784
00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:02,747
I'm almost too afraid to go.
785
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,790
I mean, what if it
doesn't work this time?
786
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:07,084
What methods did you and Joel
use to get pregnant?
787
00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:09,670
Well... sex.
788
00:27:09,712 --> 00:27:13,007
Yeah, that seems to work
for most people.
789
00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:14,091
Oh, honey...
790
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,384
Seven years of trying.
I mean,
791
00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:16,677
what if he leaves me?
792
00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,137
Noah is not going to leave you.
793
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:20,848
You did everything perfectly,
and that yutz left you.
794
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:22,558
Noah loves you.
795
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,310
And I know you think
he's pretty dreamy,
796
00:27:24,352 --> 00:27:26,687
but I'm his sister,
so I can tell you the truth.
797
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:29,815
Oh. -He's a big nerd
who lucked out and married up.
798
00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,817
- No.
- Seriously. You're saving him
799
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:34,236
from a sad, lonely life in a lab.
800
00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,988
He's not going anywhere. Okay?
801
00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:38,783
- Miriam! Astrid! We're leaving!
- Okay.
802
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:40,242
Okay.
803
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:51,879
♪ ♪
804
00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:54,090
This is the eighth grade,
805
00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:56,133
and Miss Bedetsky
is so overloaded
806
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:57,927
with math homework to grade,
807
00:27:57,968 --> 00:27:58,969
I offered to help.
808
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,513
I was new to her class,
809
00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:01,889
and she thought it was cute
810
00:28:01,931 --> 00:28:04,058
that a 13-year-old
would offer to help.
811
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:06,018
The emphasis on education
in the Jewish faith
812
00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:08,938
may be the thing
that I admire the most.
813
00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:10,731
Anyway, she let me try.
814
00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:12,858
And I graded them perfectly...
815
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,985
Without even using the key.
816
00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:17,988
She looked at me, astonished,
and then said,
817
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,908
"Abraham Weissman,
you are a natural born
818
00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:22,576
- mathematician."
- Mm.
819
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:23,828
I was so proud.
820
00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:25,830
Did you stay in touch with her?
821
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:27,415
- That moron? No.
- Abe.
822
00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:29,625
What? There were mistakes
she didn't find
823
00:28:29,667 --> 00:28:31,544
in the papers
she graded that day.
824
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,087
So I corrected them
and immediately transferred
825
00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:34,880
- out of her class.
- He couldn't just stop
826
00:28:34,922 --> 00:28:36,882
at the nice part...
He just, he had to keep going.
827
00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:39,343
She left the school after that,
on my recommendation.
828
00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,387
I would like to propose a toast.
829
00:28:41,429 --> 00:28:43,472
- Mmm.
- I have never understood
830
00:28:43,514 --> 00:28:46,308
what Abe Weissman was
talking about ever in my life.
831
00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:48,602
One time I made the mistake
of asking about his day.
832
00:28:48,644 --> 00:28:50,062
45 minutes later,
he was still talking,
833
00:28:50,104 --> 00:28:51,605
but I had taken to my bed.
834
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,774
So for both of our sakes,
835
00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:55,818
I'm very glad
that he's finally found
836
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,320
some people
who truly speak his language.
837
00:28:58,362 --> 00:29:01,323
And apparently whatever he's
been saying is very impressive.
838
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:04,326
So please join me
in toasting my father,
839
00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:07,163
- the great Abe Weissman.
- Cheers.
840
00:29:07,204 --> 00:29:09,123
L'chaim!
841
00:29:22,344 --> 00:29:24,930
- What do we do?
- We should leave.
842
00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:27,016
- We're not leaving.
- He's practically on top of us.
843
00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:28,017
Wait, is that the secretary?
844
00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:29,101
There are a thousand restaurants
845
00:29:29,143 --> 00:29:30,561
in the city...
What are the odds?
846
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:31,729
One in sixteen thousand,
four hundred fifty...
847
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,022
Twelve thousand,
three hundred...
848
00:29:33,063 --> 00:29:34,648
I'm taking into account
weather effects,
849
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,317
that some restaurants
are closed on Mondays...
850
00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:37,902
Yeah, yeah, but I'm calculating
differentials in geography,
851
00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:40,070
quality... -We get it, guys,
the odds are low.
852
00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:41,197
She doesn't even look Jewish.
853
00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:42,615
- Is she Jewish or...?
- We should leave.
854
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:44,074
Papa, this is your celebration.
855
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:45,576
Don't let him ruin it.
856
00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:46,869
I couldn't find
my Finchley cuff links.
857
00:29:46,911 --> 00:29:48,829
It was an omen.
I should have heeded it.
858
00:29:48,871 --> 00:29:50,122
Papa, your cuff links
were not an omen.
859
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,665
Her ankles are the same size
as her calves.
860
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,292
Okay, if we're gonna stay,
we should probably
861
00:29:53,334 --> 00:29:54,752
figure out something else
to be talking...
862
00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:58,005
We should go.
863
00:29:58,047 --> 00:29:59,507
Put the egg rolls in your purse.
864
00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:01,133
- My purse is silk.
- Fine.
865
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:02,885
Anyone with pockets,
grab a roll.
866
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:04,803
- I'll get us a cab.
- We should walk.
867
00:30:04,845 --> 00:30:06,889
- I'm in heels.
- Fine, we're getting a cab.
868
00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:08,599
- Noah, get us a cab.
- Okay.
869
00:30:14,230 --> 00:30:16,065
Taxi!
870
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,859
- Taxi?
- Hey. Taxi!
871
00:30:18,901 --> 00:30:20,277
- Midge.
- Joel, please...
872
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:21,904
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
873
00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:23,822
- I didn't know you'd be here.
- How could you?
874
00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,950
- I didn't know you came here.
- We don't. We never have.
875
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:27,701
I've been steering clear of
Barney Greengrass and Zabar's.
876
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,620
I go all the way over
to the East Side
877
00:30:29,662 --> 00:30:31,247
just to buy
a pack of cigarettes.
878
00:30:31,288 --> 00:30:32,581
We're celebrating.
It's a special occasion.
879
00:30:32,623 --> 00:30:34,416
My father got a job
at Bell Labs.
880
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:37,127
Bell Labs? Wow, that's terrific.
He finally got it.
881
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:38,462
It's a special occasion.
That-That's all.
882
00:30:38,504 --> 00:30:39,630
I'll never come here again.
883
00:30:39,672 --> 00:30:40,839
We'll never come here again.
884
00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:42,591
I'm sorry. I just...
885
00:30:42,633 --> 00:30:45,052
I didn't mean
to spoil the night.
886
00:30:45,094 --> 00:30:46,845
You didn't. It's...
887
00:30:57,231 --> 00:30:59,608
You should go back inside.
888
00:31:01,986 --> 00:31:04,863
Tell your...
889
00:31:04,905 --> 00:31:06,865
That's great...
890
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:09,118
about Bell Labs.
891
00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:25,175
And this is Rabbi Schneerson.
892
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:27,177
A very good man,
but that card's in every pack,
893
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,013
so no one will trade you for him.
894
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:30,556
Capers and mustard.
895
00:31:30,598 --> 00:31:32,391
That's it for things
I recognize in here.
896
00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:34,184
We should have taken
the champagne.
897
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:36,478
It was already poured. -That's
why God invented funnels.
898
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,147
No, wait, I see cottage cheese.
899
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,316
- I like cottage cheese.
- You got a Hirchensohn!
900
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:42,443
Chief rabbi of Hoboken!
901
00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,445
Have you ever seen
a Hirchensohn?
902
00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,572
To be honest, I've never seen
rabbi trading cards.
903
00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:48,115
Oh, one of the wonders
of Israel.
904
00:31:48,157 --> 00:31:49,700
That and Shabbat on a kibbutz.
905
00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:51,535
Okay, this might be soup
or gravy. I don't know.
906
00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:52,953
It's a container of brown...
Should we try it?
907
00:31:52,995 --> 00:31:55,122
This is no longer
cottage cheese.
908
00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:57,082
I can't believe
someone actually came in here
909
00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:59,335
to steal the gefilte fish...
We could be eating that.
910
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:01,795
- Astonishing.
- You sure it's not here?
911
00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,797
- I looked.
- We looked.
912
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,215
Can I go to bed now?
913
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:06,759
- Oh...
- Of course, sweetie.
914
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,136
Here, I'll take you.
Oh, and I can sneak in
915
00:32:09,178 --> 00:32:10,929
and steal a little kiss
for my baby Esther.
916
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,890
Oh, no, uh, the baby
just went to sleep, Astrid.
917
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,683
I promise you can kiss her
in the morning.
918
00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:16,518
Good night, Ethan.
Sweet dreams.
919
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,979
Cookies. I found cookies.
920
00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:20,522
Oh, ignore
what your brother says...
921
00:32:20,564 --> 00:32:23,359
you are officially
my favorite. Mmm. -Mmm.
922
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,860
It's not going to last.
923
00:32:24,902 --> 00:32:27,279
- What's not?
- Joel and that woman.
924
00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:29,990
I saw him check
his watch. Twice.
925
00:32:30,032 --> 00:32:32,034
- Mama, don't...
- Trust me.
926
00:32:32,076 --> 00:32:34,912
That girl is on her way out.
927
00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:47,216
♪ You with the stars
in your eyes... ♪
928
00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:50,469
Cookie for a smoke?
929
00:32:50,511 --> 00:32:53,597
If the parents catch us,
this was your idea.
930
00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:55,808
- ♪ You used to be ♪
- Yeah, yeah.
931
00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:58,310
♪ Too wise ♪
932
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,649
♪ Hey there... ♪
933
00:33:03,691 --> 00:33:05,943
What a dinner, huh?
934
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,986
What? Did something
unusual happen?
935
00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:09,738
I wasn't paying attention.
936
00:33:09,780 --> 00:33:11,824
I still can't believe
you and Joel split.
937
00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:13,409
Wasn't my plan, believe me.
938
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,411
It's so disappointing.
I really liked the guy.
939
00:33:15,452 --> 00:33:17,037
God, and that girl he was with.
940
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,665
When I saw that, I thought,
"I should hit him."
941
00:33:19,707 --> 00:33:21,250
And I would've.
942
00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:23,669
But then I remembered once
we were joking around,
943
00:33:23,711 --> 00:33:25,671
and I sort of
fake-punched his arm...
944
00:33:25,713 --> 00:33:27,131
Broke my pinkie.
945
00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,174
- What?
- He didn't look that big,
946
00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:31,176
but his arm
was like a brick wall.
947
00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:33,512
- Yeah, he had strong arms.
- It was humiliating.
948
00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:35,597
The next day at work
I had to make up a story
949
00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:38,058
- about being mugged in the park.
- You never told me any of this.
950
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,852
Well... it wasn't my most...
951
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:42,020
manly anecdote.
952
00:33:45,232 --> 00:33:48,402
I sure hate
that he hurt you, boy.
953
00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:51,613
Thanks.
954
00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,699
Make sure the next guy
you get involved with
955
00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:55,200
has very weak
upper body strength.
956
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,994
- Of course.
- I'd like to defend your honor.
957
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,912
- I'd appreciate that.
- But I have to be able
958
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:00,873
to hold a pen the next day.
959
00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:03,542
Noah, listen,
you got to do me a favor, okay?
960
00:34:03,584 --> 00:34:04,752
Anything.
961
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:06,336
Don't leave Astrid.
962
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:07,963
Oh, my God.
I'm not gonna leave Astrid.
963
00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:09,423
- She thinks you are.
- I'm not.
964
00:34:09,465 --> 00:34:11,216
I've told her
a million times I'm not.
965
00:34:11,258 --> 00:34:13,010
She's worried about h... -Kids.
I know, she's obsessed with it.
966
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:15,471
I don't care if we have kids.
I want a dog.
967
00:34:15,512 --> 00:34:16,889
She's driving herself crazy.
968
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:18,223
She's driving me crazy.
969
00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:19,641
I don't know
what to do with her.
970
00:34:19,683 --> 00:34:20,893
When she gets something
in her head...
971
00:34:20,934 --> 00:34:22,311
Like the whole converting thing.
972
00:34:22,352 --> 00:34:24,897
She had to sign up for the
accelerated conversion package.
973
00:34:24,938 --> 00:34:26,356
Goy to Jew
in three weeks or less.
974
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,525
Classes, rituals,
and weird baths in basements,
975
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:30,819
and, oh, my God,
so much challah.
976
00:34:30,861 --> 00:34:32,321
- I remember.
- All to impress Mama.
977
00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:33,530
Who doesn't eat bread.
978
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,115
And if I have to go to Israel
979
00:34:35,157 --> 00:34:36,575
- one more time...
- Just, please,
980
00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:39,244
till death do you part.
981
00:34:40,496 --> 00:34:42,456
I promise.
982
00:34:42,498 --> 00:34:45,459
She's a lucky gal.
983
00:34:45,501 --> 00:34:47,461
I should get back in.
984
00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:49,505
I'm playing hooky.
985
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:55,803
Hey, your old turntable.
986
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,222
And some really dirty
comedy albums.
987
00:34:58,263 --> 00:34:59,723
Don't tell Mama.
988
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,225
Vestiges of Joel?
989
00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:03,560
Nope, they're mine.
990
00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,354
You know...
991
00:35:05,395 --> 00:35:07,606
I never did get
his thing for comedy.
992
00:35:07,648 --> 00:35:10,275
One time we came to see him,
he didn't seem that funny.
993
00:35:10,317 --> 00:35:12,236
- Hmm.
- You're the funny one.
994
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:14,279
You've always been
the funny one.
995
00:35:14,321 --> 00:35:16,615
Thanks.
996
00:35:16,657 --> 00:35:18,075
Astrid kissed the baby.
997
00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,118
It was inevitable.
998
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:28,168
The food was good.
999
00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:31,213
I wonder if there really was
a General Tso.
1000
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,974
You get out.
1001
00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:45,143
I, uh, have to go back
to the office for a while.
1002
00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:46,645
Oh.
1003
00:35:46,687 --> 00:35:48,689
Okay.
1004
00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,653
Don't wait up.
1005
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:09,960
Who the hell are you?
1006
00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:11,920
Susie Myerson.
Nice to meet you.
1007
00:36:11,962 --> 00:36:14,089
The, uh, African masks
seem out of place.
1008
00:36:14,131 --> 00:36:16,049
- How did you get in here?
- Are you kidding me?
1009
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:18,635
The entire William Morris Agency
goes to lunch from 1:00 to 2:00.
1010
00:36:18,677 --> 00:36:20,679
Agents, secretaries,
security, the janitor.
1011
00:36:20,721 --> 00:36:22,347
I could've done naked cartwheels
down the corridor
1012
00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:23,807
and no one
would have stopped me.
1013
00:36:23,849 --> 00:36:25,726
What is it with you people
and lunch?
1014
00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:28,478
- Don't any of you eat breakfast?
- Get out from behind my desk.
1015
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,189
I-I'm sorry, you don't like
people behind your desk?
1016
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,942
Tell you what.
I won't get behind your desk
1017
00:36:33,984 --> 00:36:35,736
if you won't get behind mine.
1018
00:36:35,777 --> 00:36:37,571
Okay, I'm calling security.
1019
00:36:37,613 --> 00:36:39,698
Oh, forget it, Lew.
I cut the lines.
1020
00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:41,491
You what?
1021
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,785
Ah, I didn't cut the lines.
Just wanted to sound like
1022
00:36:43,827 --> 00:36:46,705
I was in a Bogart picture for
a second. It was kind of cool.
1023
00:36:46,747 --> 00:36:48,707
Who the fuck are you?
1024
00:36:48,749 --> 00:36:50,667
You handle a guy,
Randall something.
1025
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:53,337
I don't know the last name.
He's a client of yours, right?
1026
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:55,255
Introduced you to a woman
named Midge Maisel?
1027
00:36:55,297 --> 00:36:56,757
Yeah, so?
1028
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:58,842
So? Midge Maisel's
a client of mine.
1029
00:36:58,884 --> 00:37:00,844
- You're her rep?
- Yup.
1030
00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:02,763
And she doesn't need
a William Morris agent
1031
00:37:02,804 --> 00:37:05,265
in her life right now. She's got
everything she needs with me.
1032
00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:07,768
And who are you,
to be telling me this?
1033
00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:10,687
Lew, we both know what a place
like this does with someone
1034
00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,273
like Midge...
A girl comic, good-looking,
1035
00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:15,400
just starting out, can't sing.
1036
00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:18,612
You meet 'em at the deli,
like you did, all casual-like.
1037
00:37:18,654 --> 00:37:21,239
And then you schedule a fancy
lunch... there's always lunch...
1038
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:23,283
Talk to 'em about
their hopes and their dreams,
1039
00:37:23,325 --> 00:37:25,118
you promise them everything,
you deliver nothing,
1040
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,995
and then you dump 'em
if lightning doesn't strike
1041
00:37:27,037 --> 00:37:28,497
within the first five minutes.
1042
00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:29,998
She does not need you.
1043
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,917
She does not need Randall.
She needs me.
1044
00:37:31,959 --> 00:37:33,293
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1045
00:37:33,335 --> 00:37:34,753
What kind of contract
you got with her?
1046
00:37:34,795 --> 00:37:36,630
Same kind of contract
you got with your nuts...
1047
00:37:36,672 --> 00:37:38,548
There's two of us
and we're attached.
1048
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:40,384
And if you ever
go near Midge again,
1049
00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:42,761
I will make it
my life's mission to take you
1050
00:37:42,803 --> 00:37:44,805
and this entire building down.
1051
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:49,559
Oh, and... here's my card.
1052
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:51,603
In case you need it someday.
1053
00:37:57,025 --> 00:37:59,027
♪ ♪
1054
00:38:12,332 --> 00:38:13,917
Babka.
1055
00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:16,294
- Bourbon.
- Oh, I like that combination.
1056
00:38:16,336 --> 00:38:18,588
Come in.
1057
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:21,466
It's excellent toasted
with a little butter,
1058
00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:23,468
- if you're so inclined.
- Mm.
1059
00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:24,803
Sit down.
1060
00:38:24,845 --> 00:38:26,805
I like what you've done
with the place.
1061
00:38:26,847 --> 00:38:29,599
- Do you?
- Yes. It looks...
1062
00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:31,768
What shall we toast to?
1063
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,603
Not yet.
I want to talk first.
1064
00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:35,230
Oh. Okay. Sounds serious.
1065
00:38:35,272 --> 00:38:36,982
- You got a phone.
- I did.
1066
00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:38,942
You said you
didn't get the phone.
1067
00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:40,986
Yeah, well, I'm a cockeyed optimist.
Hmm.
1068
00:38:41,028 --> 00:38:42,779
So, how you doing?
1069
00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:44,197
I'm fine.
1070
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,575
Good. Good.
So you're not insane?
1071
00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:48,702
- I don't think so.
- 'Cause you seem insane.
1072
00:38:48,744 --> 00:38:50,245
What are you talking about?
1073
00:38:50,287 --> 00:38:52,080
This party circuit thing
you've got going on,
1074
00:38:52,122 --> 00:38:54,041
I don't know
what you really think it is,
1075
00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:55,459
but it's not stand-up.
1076
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,377
It's not a gig, it's a party.
1077
00:38:57,419 --> 00:39:00,380
Yeah? You are not getting paid,
you are not getting booked,
1078
00:39:00,422 --> 00:39:02,215
and those people
are not a real audience...
1079
00:39:02,257 --> 00:39:04,718
They are politely nodding at you
while they drink free booze,
1080
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,595
and then they talk
about the crazy lady
1081
00:39:06,636 --> 00:39:08,472
who wouldn't shut up
the whole night.
1082
00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:10,057
I know they're not real gigs.
1083
00:39:10,098 --> 00:39:11,808
Do you? 'Cause it
doesn't seem like it.
1084
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,977
- And second of all...
- There was no first of all.
1085
00:39:14,019 --> 00:39:16,730
...you do not need a goddamn man
at your side to do this.
1086
00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:18,440
What the hell are you thinking?
1087
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:20,776
You really want to be some
second-rate Nichols and May?
1088
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:22,694
'Cause there's already
a first-rate Nichols and May.
1089
00:39:22,736 --> 00:39:24,404
It's fuckin' Nichols and May.
1090
00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:27,491
Now, you could be an original,
but you are fucking it all up
1091
00:39:27,532 --> 00:39:30,535
with this cockamamie alternate
universe party bullshit.
1092
00:39:30,577 --> 00:39:32,412
You want to do this?!
1093
00:39:32,454 --> 00:39:33,830
- Yes.
- Do you?
1094
00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:35,874
- Yes!
- Well, I can't tell anymore.
1095
00:39:35,916 --> 00:39:37,793
You want me to get rid of
the phone, 'cause I can get rid
1096
00:39:37,834 --> 00:39:39,294
- of the phone.
- Do not get rid of the phone.
1097
00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:40,545
I don't need
to have a goddamn phone.
1098
00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:41,922
I don't have anybody
I have to call.
1099
00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:43,673
I got that phone for you,
1100
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:46,009
for this partnership
that I thought we were starting.
1101
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:48,220
- We are.
- Does your new agent know that?
1102
00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:49,513
He's... not my...
1103
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:51,890
You do not meet
with any agents
1104
00:39:51,932 --> 00:39:54,309
without me knowing
about it, ever.
1105
00:39:54,351 --> 00:39:56,436
I did not know he was
gonna be there. I swear.
1106
00:39:56,478 --> 00:39:58,855
Bullshit! You're not an idiot!
1107
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:01,399
Just drop this doe-eyed
Bambi thing right now.
1108
00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:04,361
Okay, I'm so sick of you
ACTING ALL INNOCENT: "Oh,
1109
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:06,905
"I don't know how the world
works 'cause I'm a housewife,
1110
00:40:06,947 --> 00:40:08,698
and I wear four layers
of petticoats."
1111
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:10,408
It is tired and it is weak,
1112
00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:12,953
and you are not tired
and you are not fucking weak.
1113
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,871
And if you want to be a comic,
1114
00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:17,958
you are gonna have
to grow the fuck up right now!
1115
00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:28,593
I'm sorry. I...
1116
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,345
I don't know what to do lately.
1117
00:40:30,387 --> 00:40:32,848
I'm... I'm trying to be strong
and independent,
1118
00:40:32,889 --> 00:40:35,642
but I saw Joel the other night,
and he was with her,
1119
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:38,854
and every time I think
I can breathe again, I can't.
1120
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,522
And I'm-I'm trying
to get it right.
1121
00:40:40,564 --> 00:40:42,065
I'm trying to figure it out.
1122
00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:43,733
I know the parties aren't gigs.
1123
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,652
I know I'm not
really doing stand-up.
1124
00:40:45,694 --> 00:40:47,737
I don't want to be
a second-rate Nichols and May.
1125
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,489
I'd never even heard
of Nichols and May.
1126
00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:50,949
And I've got news for you.
1127
00:40:50,991 --> 00:40:52,909
If you're gonna be
a personal manager,
1128
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:55,620
then sometimes you're gonna have
to deal with the personal.
1129
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,205
And this...
1130
00:40:57,247 --> 00:40:58,790
is personal.
1131
00:40:58,832 --> 00:41:00,333
All of this.
1132
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:03,086
And it's not
just deals and lectures.
1133
00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:05,255
Sometimes you're gonna have
to buy some Kleenex
1134
00:41:05,297 --> 00:41:07,465
and let me cry
and pat me on the back
1135
00:41:07,507 --> 00:41:09,634
- and say, "There, there."
- Okay, that's not really my...
1136
00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:10,927
You're gonna have
to listen to me talk
1137
00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:12,554
about my husband,
and my kids.
1138
00:41:12,596 --> 00:41:14,181
Both of 'em?
1139
00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:15,891
Yes. Both of them.
1140
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:19,102
And you are gonna have
to stop backing away from me
1141
00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:21,938
when I feel like my life
is falling apart.
1142
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:25,442
You are gonna have to tell me
I'm good when I'm not.
1143
00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:27,027
- You want me to lie?
- Yes!
1144
00:41:27,068 --> 00:41:29,029
That is what managers do!
1145
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:31,740
Do you understand?
1146
00:41:42,792 --> 00:41:44,753
There, there.
1147
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:48,548
Better?
1148
00:41:50,926 --> 00:41:53,553
Yes.
1149
00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:55,680
Better.
1150
00:41:55,722 --> 00:41:57,224
Good.
1151
00:41:57,265 --> 00:41:58,975
Tomorrow...
1152
00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:02,103
we're gonna sign
some fuckin' paperwork.
1153
00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:06,691
The last few signatures.
I promise.
1154
00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:08,485
Responsibility is often
1155
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:11,488
accompanied by excessive paperwork.
And how.
1156
00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:13,198
Especially when
the government's involved.
1157
00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,200
If you'd asked me a week ago,
I would not have put money
1158
00:42:15,242 --> 00:42:16,451
on us sitting here today.
1159
00:42:16,493 --> 00:42:18,370
Well, I had to shuffle
quite a few things around,
1160
00:42:18,411 --> 00:42:22,374
make some tough compromises,
and you seemed so desperate.
1161
00:42:22,415 --> 00:42:24,501
We are thrilled, believe me.
1162
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:25,752
All your background checks
are completed.
1163
00:42:25,794 --> 00:42:27,003
You sailed through
1164
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:28,213
- faster than most.
- Very good.
1165
00:42:28,255 --> 00:42:30,465
Now, there's just
the final government clearance.
1166
00:42:30,507 --> 00:42:33,677
It's somewhat more intensive,
but it should go smoothly, too.
1167
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,387
The only possible bump I see
1168
00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:36,846
would be
your daughter's arrests.
1169
00:42:38,098 --> 00:42:40,976
Her arrests?
1170
00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:42,560
We know, a couple of
misdemeanors, she pled guilty.
1171
00:42:42,602 --> 00:42:44,271
It shouldn't be
too big a problem.
1172
00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:46,731
Right. Yes.
1173
00:42:46,773 --> 00:42:48,275
Young people go through
these phases, right?
1174
00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:51,403
Yes, young people go
through phases.
1175
00:42:51,444 --> 00:42:52,904
Things I did in college,
it's amazing my parents
1176
00:42:52,946 --> 00:42:53,989
still talk to me.
1177
00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:58,702
We'll ease you in
the first couple of days.
1178
00:42:58,743 --> 00:43:01,204
One of us will take you
on a tour of the facility,
1179
00:43:01,246 --> 00:43:02,247
get you oriented.
1180
00:43:02,289 --> 00:43:03,873
Might be me,
might be my colleague, Sven.
1181
00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:05,458
Sven is a great fellow.
1182
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,961
- I was cornered by
MRS. - Mm.
1183
00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:09,713
Ever since she kicked Junie Paul
in the shins,
1184
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:11,673
I run when I see her. -She
starts telling me this story
1185
00:43:11,715 --> 00:43:13,258
- about her mother's health.
- Mm.
1186
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,635
And right as she says
she's only got a month to live,
1187
00:43:15,677 --> 00:43:17,512
the baby starts laughing.
1188
00:43:17,554 --> 00:43:20,807
I tell you, it was
the world's longest pause.
1189
00:43:20,849 --> 00:43:23,727
But then,
Mrs. Klaviter laughed, too.
1190
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:26,146
Turns out, she hates her mother
and thinks Esther's a delight.
1191
00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:30,150
What?
1192
00:43:35,030 --> 00:43:36,239
What ever happened
to Junie Paul?
1193
00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:38,491
I wonder if she ever married.
1194
00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:40,035
I would think.
1195
00:43:40,076 --> 00:43:41,661
She just needed to
keep her hair long enough
1196
00:43:41,703 --> 00:43:43,997
- to cover those ears.
- They were enormous,
1197
00:43:44,039 --> 00:43:45,540
but she could hear
someone whispering
1198
00:43:45,582 --> 00:43:46,833
from across a football field.
I'm kidding.
1199
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:47,876
I was fun.
1200
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,127
I planned theme nights,
1201
00:43:49,169 --> 00:43:51,212
I dressed in costumes,
1202
00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:54,424
I gave him kids,
a boy and a girl! And yes,
1203
00:43:54,466 --> 00:43:56,176
our little girl is looking more
and more like Winston Churchill
1204
00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:57,969
every day, with the big...
1205
00:43:58,011 --> 00:44:01,598
Yalta-head? But that's not
a reason to leave, right?
1206
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:03,516
Really? Really? After what
I just said about the bathroom?
1207
00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:05,185
It's like she's having
a breakdown.
1208
00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:07,062
- But it's hysterical.
- It's amazing.
1209
00:44:07,103 --> 00:44:09,189
Walk of shame!
1210
00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:10,774
It's total improv.
1211
00:44:10,815 --> 00:44:12,400
Nah, this had to be written.
1212
00:44:12,442 --> 00:44:15,570
And I showed him I loved him.
1213
00:44:15,612 --> 00:44:17,739
All that shit they say
about Jewish girls...
1214
00:44:17,781 --> 00:44:19,783
Well, whatever it is,
it's genius.
1215
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:22,202
Pure genius. And
you don't know who she is?
1216
00:44:22,243 --> 00:44:24,079
All we know is she's
married to some guy named Joel,
1217
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,705
and she lives uptown.
1218
00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:27,540
Let's dub a hundred
and see where it goes.
1219
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,336
I can't believe
this is happening.
1220
00:44:31,378 --> 00:44:34,589
I can't believe I'm losing him
to Penny Pann.
1221
00:44:34,631 --> 00:44:36,674
That's her name.
Terrible right?
1222
00:44:36,716 --> 00:44:38,468
Penny Pann!
1223
00:44:38,510 --> 00:44:40,220
Penny Pann.
1224
00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:42,389
Penny Pann!
1225
00:44:58,071 --> 00:45:00,281
♪ Can you hear them? ♪
1226
00:45:00,323 --> 00:45:02,325
♪ They talk about us ♪
1227
00:45:02,367 --> 00:45:03,743
♪ Telling lies ♪
1228
00:45:03,785 --> 00:45:05,245
♪ Well, that's no surprise ♪
1229
00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:07,038
♪ Can you see them? ♪
1230
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:10,333
♪ See right through them ♪
1231
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:13,878
♪ They have no shield,
no secrets to reveal ♪
1232
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,340
♪ It doesn't matter
what they say ♪
1233
00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:20,802
♪ In the jealous games
people play ♪
1234
00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:25,265
♪ Our lips are sealed ♪
1235
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:39,904
♪ Hush, my darling ♪
1236
00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:43,658
♪ Don't you cry ♪
1237
00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:47,495
♪ Quiet, angel ♪
1238
00:45:47,537 --> 00:45:49,998
♪ Forget their lies ♪
1239
00:45:50,039 --> 00:45:52,417
♪ Can you hear them? ♪
1240
00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:54,419
♪ They talk about us ♪
1241
00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:55,712
♪ Telling lies ♪
1242
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:57,338
♪ Well, that's no surprise ♪
1243
00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:59,382
♪ Can you see them? ♪
1244
00:45:59,424 --> 00:46:02,385
♪ See right through them ♪
1245
00:46:02,427 --> 00:46:06,306
♪ They have no shield,
no secrets to reveal ♪
1246
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:09,559
♪ Doesn't matter what they say ♪
1247
00:46:09,601 --> 00:46:12,937
♪ In the jealous games
people play ♪
1248
00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:18,818
♪ Our lips are sealed ♪
1249
00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:23,114
♪ Pay no mind to what they say ♪
1250
00:46:23,156 --> 00:46:25,950
♪ It doesn't matter anyway ♪
1251
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:32,290
♪ Our lips are sealed ♪
1252
00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:35,919
♪ Our lips
are sealed ♪
1253
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,004
♪ Our lips are sealed. ♪
1253
00:46:39,305 --> 00:46:45,761
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