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1
00:00:02,337 --> 00:00:04,862
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,863 --> 00:00:08,250
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,251 --> 00:00:11,869
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:14,706
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,707 --> 00:00:18,167
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:21,521
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,006
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,007 --> 00:00:24,691
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:33,776 --> 00:00:36,903
(indistinct chatter)
11
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,522
Thanks for coming
to our cocktail party, everyone.
12
00:00:39,523 --> 00:00:41,616
We're so glad you could make it.
13
00:00:41,617 --> 00:00:43,067
That's the speech
you were working on?
14
00:00:43,068 --> 00:00:44,694
Okay, now let's play a game.
15
00:00:44,695 --> 00:00:46,288
It's called:
"Everybody give me an idea
16
00:00:46,289 --> 00:00:47,697
what time you're leaving."
17
00:00:47,698 --> 00:00:49,216
Settle down, Peter.
18
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,293
Hey, is the party
good out there? Can I come out?
19
00:00:51,294 --> 00:00:53,262
No, Brian,
you're fine in the kitchen.
20
00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:54,888
Is there food on the floor?
I can clean it up!
21
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:57,040
- No.
- Oh, come on.
22
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:59,083
Joe just dropped a cracker.
Joe just dropped a cracker!
23
00:00:59,084 --> 00:01:01,544
- (scratching on door)
- Damn it, Brian!
24
00:01:01,545 --> 00:01:04,547
I can't figure out
how to open the gate.
25
00:01:04,548 --> 00:01:06,591
Well, since this is
a nice cocktail party,
26
00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:08,402
let's talk about books.
27
00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:10,145
What book is everyone reading?
28
00:01:10,146 --> 00:01:12,072
I only read four books
in my life,
29
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,890
and three of them were
about Johnny Bench.
30
00:01:13,891 --> 00:01:15,558
Ah, I can top that.
31
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:17,485
I ain't ever read a book
in my entire life.
32
00:01:17,486 --> 00:01:18,912
(all gasp)
33
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,747
- Never read a book?
- Peter's never read a book!
34
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,774
Yeah, I heard the first guy.
35
00:01:22,775 --> 00:01:26,086
And you said
this was a fancy cocktail party.
36
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,945
Reginald, we're leaving!
37
00:01:27,946 --> 00:01:30,590
(indistinct chatter)
38
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,617
Damn it!
I shopped at Trader Joe's
39
00:01:32,618 --> 00:01:35,119
for this fancy cocktail party,
and once again,
40
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,579
your ignorance of books
has ruined it.
41
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,414
Enough is enough.
42
00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:41,084
I got a junior high book list
here, and starting tomorrow,
43
00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:42,960
you are reading one
of these books.
44
00:01:42,961 --> 00:01:45,680
Little Women, Holes, The Giver.
45
00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:47,015
These are all porn categories.
46
00:01:47,016 --> 00:01:48,633
Black Beauty.
47
00:01:48,634 --> 00:01:50,718
Is there anything here
that's not pornography?
48
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:53,355
1984! Just read 1984.
49
00:01:53,356 --> 00:01:55,765
Fine. Geez. I'll read 1984.
50
00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,975
You better, 'cause this was
more embarrassing
51
00:01:57,976 --> 00:02:01,029
than when we played truth or
dare with present-day Madonna.
52
00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:03,865
Ah... truth.
53
00:02:03,866 --> 00:02:06,126
Do I look younger than 90?
54
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,752
Dare.
55
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,209
Ah, the public library.
56
00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:16,711
I'm just gonna put my backpack
down for one second.
57
00:02:16,712 --> 00:02:18,121
And it's gone.
58
00:02:18,122 --> 00:02:19,714
My laptop was in there,
no password.
59
00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:20,957
My wallet. Everything.
60
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:22,384
That person is now me.
61
00:02:22,385 --> 00:02:24,460
My entire life went away.
(sighs)
62
00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,671
Hey, how do you find something
in here?
63
00:02:26,672 --> 00:02:29,724
It's a lot easier
than finding a man out there.
64
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,893
(laughs)
65
00:02:31,894 --> 00:02:34,137
(laughs) Yeah.
Yeah, maybe wash your hair,
66
00:02:34,138 --> 00:02:35,897
lose the bun,
give that a chance.
67
00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:37,640
Anyway, you guys have 1984?
68
00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:39,684
We've got it on CD.
69
00:02:39,685 --> 00:02:41,403
"C-D." (laughs)
70
00:02:41,404 --> 00:02:44,814
Sounds like my high school
report card. (laughs)
71
00:02:44,815 --> 00:02:47,666
(laughs) Okay, okay,
all right, all right.
72
00:02:49,912 --> 00:02:52,247
Okay, boring book: 1984.
73
00:02:52,248 --> 00:02:53,990
I am ready for you to be lame
74
00:02:53,991 --> 00:02:56,200
and a book
and not something unexpected.
75
00:02:56,201 --> 00:02:58,302
(Van Halen's "Panama" plays)
76
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:03,040
- ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
- (gasps) This is books?
77
00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:07,186
- Books kick ass!
- ♪ Panama, Pana... ♪
78
00:03:09,265 --> 00:03:11,816
Probably reading Orwell.
79
00:03:15,179 --> 00:03:17,013
Kids, where's your father?
80
00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:18,723
He left a note.
81
00:03:18,724 --> 00:03:20,742
"If Van Halen calls,
tell them they rule."
82
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:21,851
What?
83
00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:24,871
♪ Panama... ♪
84
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:28,065
- Did they call?
- Peter, what are you doing?!
85
00:03:28,066 --> 00:03:31,068
I did what you wanted. I went
to the library and I got 1984.
86
00:03:31,069 --> 00:03:34,047
(chuckles)
What a book!
87
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:37,217
Peter, I'm not okay with this
new Van Halen phase of yours.
88
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,076
Yeah, Dad, it's crazy.
89
00:03:39,077 --> 00:03:42,964
Like JFK deciding to cruise
through Dallas in a rental.
90
00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,891
How'd that convertible
work out for you?
91
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,543
Yeah, I don't... I don't know.
Good. Okay.
92
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:49,921
And did you get all your stuff
out of the car?
93
00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:51,973
Kind of.
94
00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:53,591
♪ Panama... ♪
95
00:03:53,592 --> 00:03:55,235
MAN:
All units, this is Dispatch.
96
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,737
We've got a red station wagon
blasting "Panama"
97
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,981
and being awesome
and partying and being rad.
98
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:02,433
OFFICER:
Not in my town, Dispatch.
99
00:04:02,434 --> 00:04:06,154
This is Officer Stickbutt,
in pursuit.
100
00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:07,605
♪ Whoo! ♪
101
00:04:07,606 --> 00:04:08,622
♪ ♪
102
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,109
MAN:
Stickbutt, break off pursuit.
103
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,829
"Panama" kicks too much ass
and shreds way too hard.
104
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:16,256
You'll never catch him.
105
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,425
Negative, Dispatch.
Just need to wait
106
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,452
for that "Runnin' a little bit
hot tonight" part.
107
00:04:21,453 --> 00:04:23,838
♪ Yeah, we're runnin'
a little bit hot tonight ♪
108
00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,100
OFFICER:
Bingo. Got him now.
109
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,126
♪ I can barely see the road ♪
110
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:30,461
♪ From the heat coming
off of it ♪
111
00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:32,105
(tires screeching)
112
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,131
OFFICER:
What's he doing?!
113
00:04:34,132 --> 00:04:36,926
Suspect is headed
toward Unjumpable Canyon.
114
00:04:36,927 --> 00:04:39,262
- It's totally unjumpable!
- ♪ Ease the seat back... ♪
115
00:04:39,263 --> 00:04:42,932
- Unless...
- Unless what, Stickbutt? Over.
116
00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:45,285
OFFICER:
Dear God, he's gonna do it.
117
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:48,604
He's gonna time his jump for the
greatest harmonized sound drop
118
00:04:48,605 --> 00:04:50,532
in '80s rock history.
119
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:52,200
You're right.
The part that goes...
120
00:04:52,201 --> 00:04:54,151
♪ Ain't no stoppin' ♪
121
00:04:54,152 --> 00:04:58,447
♪ Now...! ♪
122
00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:03,953
(holding note)
123
00:05:03,954 --> 00:05:06,047
- ♪ Panama ♪
- Damn it!
124
00:05:06,048 --> 00:05:08,308
- JOE: What? What happened?
- Get off this channel, Joe.
125
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:11,127
JOE:
Come on, I want
to be an outside cop!
126
00:05:11,128 --> 00:05:12,895
♪ Panama. ♪
127
00:05:16,341 --> 00:05:18,226
(whistles)
128
00:05:18,227 --> 00:05:20,820
♪ Panama. ♪
129
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,730
Damn it, Peter,
I'm sick of this!
130
00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:25,066
Take that Van Halen CD back
today.
131
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,826
No way. I ain't never
returning that CD.
132
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,978
It's too awesome.
133
00:05:28,979 --> 00:05:30,855
I didn't want to play this card,
Peter, but...
134
00:05:30,856 --> 00:05:32,481
if you won't listen to me,
135
00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:35,192
listen to the pancake
with slices of banana on it.
136
00:05:35,193 --> 00:05:37,003
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
137
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,838
But you're always smiling.
138
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,674
Note the maple syrup tears.
139
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:43,676
Don't you think I see
the maple syrup tears, Lois?!
140
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,641
I guess
my Van Halen days are over.
141
00:05:53,429 --> 00:05:55,855
(engine revving)
142
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,549
No, no, no.
Those days are behind me.
143
00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,568
I made a promise to a pancake.
144
00:06:02,771 --> 00:06:04,698
♪ On and on ♪
145
00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:08,109
♪ He just keeps on trying ♪
146
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:12,229
♪ And he smiles
when he feels like crying... ♪
147
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:14,782
♪ Panama ♪
148
00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:16,451
- ♪ On and on ♪
- ♪ Panama ♪
149
00:06:16,452 --> 00:06:18,211
♪ On and on ♪
150
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,380
- ♪ Pan... ♪
- (engines revving)
151
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:23,532
♪ Ain't nothin' like it,
her shiny machine ♪
152
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:27,295
♪ Got the feel for the wheel,
keep the movin' parts clean ♪
153
00:06:27,296 --> 00:06:28,963
♪ Hot shoe ♪
154
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:31,224
- Yeah!
- ♪ Burnin' down the avenue ♪
155
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,417
- ♪ Got an on... ♪
- ♪ On and on... ♪
156
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:38,089
♪ Bedroom, don't you know
she's coming home with me? ♪
157
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:40,549
- ♪ You'll lose her in the turn ♪
- (laughs) Working squirrel.
158
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:43,552
(yells)
159
00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:45,446
(whimpers)
160
00:06:49,985 --> 00:06:51,152
(beeps twice)
161
00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:52,912
Hey, in case you need it,
162
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,064
someone left this business card
at the crash site.
163
00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:57,900
Looks like there's a new
squirrel in the insurance game.
164
00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,753
I don't care about that,
Dr. Hartman.
165
00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:02,571
Just tell me
what's wrong with my husband.
166
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:04,924
I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin,
but your husband...
167
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,784
is in a coma.
168
00:07:06,785 --> 00:07:08,428
Oh, my God!
169
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,913
And to deliver the news
to your teenage children,
170
00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:12,790
I've hired an EDM DJ.
171
00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,768
♪ Your father's in a coma ♪
172
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:17,011
(pitch rising):
♪ Coma, coma, coma, coma, coma ♪
173
00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:18,754
(deep voice):
♪ He's gonna die. ♪
174
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,682
This is awesome!
175
00:07:20,683 --> 00:07:24,026
Yeah, I saw this guy playing
at an H&M, and I got his number!
176
00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:32,810
My husband is in a coma?!
177
00:07:32,811 --> 00:07:34,454
I'm afraid so.
178
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,814
I mean, he's not responding
to my advances,
179
00:07:36,815 --> 00:07:39,125
so it's either a coma,
or he's a frigid bitch.
180
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,818
We'll leave you with him now.
181
00:07:40,819 --> 00:07:42,820
But it's very important
that you speak to Peter.
182
00:07:42,821 --> 00:07:44,447
He can hear you.
183
00:07:44,448 --> 00:07:46,949
Talk about the good times,
what he means to you.
184
00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:49,093
Talk and keep talking.
185
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,938
Psh-psh-pshew.
186
00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:04,559
Let's just turn on the TV.
187
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,694
ANNOUNCER: We now return to The Simpsons.
188
00:08:10,682 --> 00:08:12,400
Meme.
189
00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:13,993
Not a meme.
190
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,995
Meme.
191
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,454
Not a meme.
192
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,375
Where am I?
Hey, let me out. Let me out!
193
00:08:24,029 --> 00:08:28,215
(deep voice):
Hello, Peter.
194
00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:39,852
(squishing)
195
00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:11,959
What did I ever do
to deserve this?!
196
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,054
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
197
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,705
Oh, yeah!
198
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:18,749
(whimpering)
199
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:20,835
The Godfather insists
upon itself.
200
00:09:20,836 --> 00:09:23,212
- It insists upon itself.
- It insists upon itself.
201
00:09:23,213 --> 00:09:25,256
The Godfather insists
upon itself.
202
00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:27,341
- It insists upon itself.
- It insists upon itself.
203
00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,009
It insists upon itself.
204
00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:30,594
The Godfather insists
upon itself.
205
00:09:30,595 --> 00:09:31,905
- It insists...
- It insists...
206
00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:34,056
Ah, no! Wait!
I agree with all of you!
207
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:35,199
Upon itself.
208
00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:43,491
Has the jury reached a verdict?
209
00:09:43,492 --> 00:09:44,992
We have, Your Honor.
210
00:09:44,993 --> 00:09:46,920
And how do you find
the defendant?
211
00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:49,330
B'caw, or not b'caw?
212
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:52,575
We find the defendant,
Peter Griffin, b'caw.
213
00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:55,837
(chickens clucking)
214
00:09:55,838 --> 00:09:59,123
Peter Griffin,
I hereby sentence you
215
00:09:59,124 --> 00:10:03,085
to an awkward apology dinner
with Joaquin Phoenix.
216
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:04,937
(gentle piano music playing)
217
00:10:06,965 --> 00:10:09,967
Well... I'm waiting.
218
00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:12,687
Hey, if, uh, this goes south,
219
00:10:12,688 --> 00:10:16,265
is there a plan
for Peter's rakes?
220
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:18,785
Um... who's gonna
get Peter's rakes?
221
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:21,145
What did I tell you, Mom?
What did I tell you?
222
00:10:21,146 --> 00:10:22,622
Well, I just thought
it would be one less thing
223
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,031
to worry about later.
224
00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:26,292
You came out
of the blocks too soon, Joe.
225
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,537
Oh, Lois,
I came as soon as I heard.
226
00:10:29,538 --> 00:10:33,282
So... h-have you guys made
any arrangements rake-wise?
227
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:35,784
Bonnie. Ix-nay on the akes-ray.
228
00:10:35,785 --> 00:10:37,678
(sustained beeping)
229
00:10:39,882 --> 00:10:41,290
Clear!
230
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:44,477
No, you do stuff up here. Clear!
231
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,003
Clear!
232
00:10:46,004 --> 00:10:48,464
- (sustained beeping)
- Clear!
233
00:10:48,465 --> 00:10:49,891
Clear!
234
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:52,059
- (sustained beeping)
- Clear!
235
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:54,011
(monitor beeping steadily)
236
00:10:54,012 --> 00:10:56,990
No, that's the good sound.
237
00:10:56,991 --> 00:10:59,183
Oh, well, why don't you
just do everything.
238
00:10:59,184 --> 00:11:01,143
I hate this stupid hospital.
239
00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:03,162
Clear!
240
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,906
(cheering and applause)
241
00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:06,748
(playing "Panama")
242
00:11:09,694 --> 00:11:11,654
- What are they all doing here?
- The canal.
243
00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:13,748
- She is finished.
- What canal?
244
00:11:13,749 --> 00:11:16,825
Think, senor.
What is your new favorite song?
245
00:11:16,826 --> 00:11:18,511
- "Panama"?
- Sí.
246
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:19,921
It is the Panama Canal.
247
00:11:19,922 --> 00:11:21,923
Your President Woodrow Wilson
248
00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:24,541
is giving the dedication
right now.
249
00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:27,687
Ah, you reach down
between my legs.
250
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,672
Ease the seat back.
251
00:11:29,673 --> 00:11:32,099
Got the feeling. Power steering.
252
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,768
Pistons popping.
253
00:11:33,769 --> 00:11:36,845
Ain't no stopping now, Panama.
254
00:11:36,846 --> 00:11:39,056
(cheering and applause)
255
00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:41,016
And now, senor, you must pee.
256
00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:43,227
- What?
- Pee. You must pee.
257
00:11:43,228 --> 00:11:44,995
Fill the canal.
258
00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:49,283
Well, it's gonna take a minute.
259
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:51,786
- You see Coco?
- Of course.
260
00:11:51,787 --> 00:11:54,714
- It's good, right?
- It's very good.
261
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,366
Okay, I'm gonna try pulling
my pants all the way down.
262
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,794
Sometimes that helps.
263
00:11:59,795 --> 00:12:02,037
- It wasn't a true story, right?
- What?
264
00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:04,057
- Coco.
- No, it was fiction.
265
00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:06,133
Somebody make it up
out of their head.
266
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:08,043
Aw, that's too bad.
267
00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:10,879
I can't go. Can't we
just fill this up with a hose?
268
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,898
Oh, yeah. Turn on the hose!
269
00:12:15,593 --> 00:12:17,486
(horn blowing)
270
00:12:20,098 --> 00:12:21,098
Mayor West?
271
00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:22,099
Angela?
272
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,059
My dad?
273
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,821
Quagmire's fat girlfriend
who died in the Clue episode?
274
00:12:26,822 --> 00:12:29,064
What do all these people
have in common?
275
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:31,959
And how do they know
I like being slowly beckoned?
276
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:40,451
Mrs. Griffin, I have
some good news or some bad news
277
00:12:40,452 --> 00:12:42,244
depending on how you feel
about your husband.
278
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:44,621
- Do you love your husband?
- Yes.
279
00:12:44,622 --> 00:12:46,432
Mrs. Griffin,
I have some bad news.
280
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,459
Your husband is brain-dead.
281
00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:52,105
I'm afraid it's time
for you to... make your choice.
282
00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:55,349
What? A-Are you telling me
I should pull the plug?
283
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:56,776
I'm afraid so.
284
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,519
Also, you might be
getting a call
285
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,262
about the service
you received here today.
286
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,264
Do you feel
I've earned all tens?
287
00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:04,617
Oh, God, I-I don't know.
288
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,285
I can't get
anything less than a ten,
289
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,478
so if there's a problem,
290
00:13:07,479 --> 00:13:08,788
you should tell me about it
right now.
291
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,773
I may have to pull the plug
on my husband.
292
00:13:10,774 --> 00:13:12,458
Yeah, I-I can't do anything
about that.
293
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,986
But really, we-we really,
really, really need the tens.
294
00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:18,539
I-It's two minutes for you.
It's a job or not for me.
295
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,133
(phone rings)
296
00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:22,159
Hello?
297
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,660
Six.
298
00:13:23,661 --> 00:13:25,621
Yeah, six across the board.
299
00:13:25,622 --> 00:13:26,888
Ah, nuts.
300
00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:32,836
Senor Griffin, I think it's time
for you to depart.
301
00:13:32,837 --> 00:13:35,815
Thanks, Jose, probably.
Thanks for everything.
302
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,484
Hey, before I go, what's
the boat's Wi-Fi password?
303
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,677
Oh, there's no Wi-Fi on board.
304
00:13:40,678 --> 00:13:43,064
I don't want to go!
305
00:13:43,065 --> 00:13:45,282
(gasps)
I don't want to go!
306
00:13:47,352 --> 00:13:49,495
- Hey.
- Hey.
307
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,523
That's a... that's a plug.
308
00:13:52,524 --> 00:13:55,859
You...
You pulled the plug on me?
309
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,487
Peter, it was
a very difficult decision.
310
00:13:58,488 --> 00:14:00,006
How could you do that?
I'm alive.
311
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,008
I'm here
from the mortgage company.
312
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,827
Mr. Griffin, you're three months
late on your payment.
313
00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:06,995
(imitates sustained beeping)
314
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,539
Oh, he died.
315
00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:09,924
Oh, that's too bad.
316
00:14:09,925 --> 00:14:12,501
Mind if I turn on
my cotton candy machine?
317
00:14:12,502 --> 00:14:14,711
(imitating whirring)
318
00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:16,396
(imitates monitor beeping)
Aw, you got me.
319
00:14:23,271 --> 00:14:25,848
Hey, sweetheart.
How you feeling?
320
00:14:25,849 --> 00:14:28,776
Terrible! My family tried
to off me in my sleep.
321
00:14:28,777 --> 00:14:30,727
We said we're sorry, all right?
322
00:14:30,728 --> 00:14:32,371
We're sorry we pulled the plug!
323
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,282
-But you know what?
It was a relief.
-What?
324
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:38,044
There! I said it. You know what
it's like being married to you?
325
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,695
Every day wondering
326
00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:42,123
if my husband's gonna die
from something stupid?
327
00:14:42,124 --> 00:14:44,575
Crashing your Petercopter.
Getting eaten at the zoo.
328
00:14:44,576 --> 00:14:46,961
Running into a tunnel
that's not really a tunnel
329
00:14:46,962 --> 00:14:48,370
but just something
the Road Runner painted
330
00:14:48,371 --> 00:14:49,746
on the side of a rock.
331
00:14:49,747 --> 00:14:51,224
Yeah, well,
I saw him go through it.
332
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,559
Honestly,
I-I'm amazed you haven't died
333
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,712
in some kind of Black Mirror
techno nightmare by now.
334
00:14:56,713 --> 00:14:58,139
- (phone vibrating)
- Excuse me.
335
00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:00,066
I have to take
this phone call from...
336
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:03,151
(gasps)
Me?!
337
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:12,245
This me took a picture
of dog poo.
338
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,580
The thought of losing you
was such a burden.
339
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,566
So when the moment came,
I confess.
340
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,735
I-I felt free, and I did it.
341
00:15:19,736 --> 00:15:20,828
I pulled the plug.
342
00:15:20,829 --> 00:15:23,089
And then
I instantly regretted it.
343
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,166
And when you woke up,
I was overjoyed.
344
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,910
I'm so sorry,
and if there's any way
345
00:15:27,911 --> 00:15:30,621
I can make it up to you,
I will. I promise.
346
00:15:30,622 --> 00:15:32,080
We all will.
347
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:33,916
Damn right
you're gonna make it up to me.
348
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:35,509
I am gonna be
more high-maintenance
349
00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:37,753
than a white woman on vacation.
350
00:15:37,754 --> 00:15:40,181
Excuse me, could I get
dos margaritas, por favor?
351
00:15:40,182 --> 00:15:42,775
Yoo-hoo! Hello? Senor?
352
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,778
Excuse me? Could I get towels?
We need more towels.
353
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,639
Wh-When you get a chance,
but right now.
354
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:52,409
Is someone available
to take 20 to 40 pictures of me?
355
00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:57,940
Family, you know how
you said you're sorry
356
00:15:57,941 --> 00:16:00,108
- and you'll do anything I want?
- Yeah.
357
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:01,652
Well, this is Timothy Olyphant.
358
00:16:01,653 --> 00:16:04,321
I want you to line up
and give him one compliment
359
00:16:04,322 --> 00:16:06,707
about his Netflix show,
the Santa Clarita Diet.
360
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:08,951
- Aw, really?
- And it has to sound legit.
361
00:16:08,952 --> 00:16:10,285
Like you've actually watched it.
362
00:16:10,286 --> 00:16:12,996
Peter, you ask too much.
363
00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:15,791
Hey, you tried to kill me.
This is the logical consequence.
364
00:16:15,792 --> 00:16:17,960
Uh, Mr. Olyphant,
365
00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:19,979
I think you were awesome
in Deadwood.
366
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,647
No, no, that's not what I said.
367
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,799
The comments
have to exclusively relate
368
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,484
to the Santa Clarita Diet,
369
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,637
a show which aired
three full seasons on Netflix.
370
00:16:28,638 --> 00:16:30,973
I will take the first compliment
off the table.
371
00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:32,474
I like your hair.
372
00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:33,850
Well, now I have nothing.
373
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:36,019
- Come on, kids, we're leaving.
- What?
374
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:38,072
It's over.
You'll never forgive us
375
00:16:38,073 --> 00:16:40,482
for killing you at the hospital,
so we're done.
376
00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:42,243
We're leaving town today.
377
00:16:42,244 --> 00:16:43,836
You... You're leaving?
378
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,654
You'll never hear from us again.
379
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,322
It'll be like we died.
380
00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:49,157
Come on, kids.
381
00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:51,326
No, don't take the kids.
382
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:54,997
Please. No.
Whatever will I do without them?
383
00:16:54,998 --> 00:16:57,091
Banana pancake, you, too?
384
00:16:57,092 --> 00:16:58,517
You're leaving forever?
385
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,354
I'm actually going
to Hedo for Pancakes.
386
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,839
Oh, yeah!
The ripping and the tearing.
387
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,191
The ripping and the tearing.
388
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,026
The syrup and the bacon.
389
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,069
- The syrup and the...
- (squawks)
390
00:17:14,943 --> 00:17:16,369
Well, they're gone.
391
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,353
It's all right. I'll be okay.
392
00:17:18,354 --> 00:17:20,614
And I definitely won't have
any flashbacks
393
00:17:20,615 --> 00:17:23,859
of our happy times together
to convince me otherwise.
394
00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:25,402
♪ ♪
395
00:17:25,403 --> 00:17:27,213
♪ Painting the walls ♪
396
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,715
♪ Means happy times ♪
397
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,075
Aw, we were so happy.
398
00:17:32,076 --> 00:17:35,078
♪ And now we're fighting
with paint ♪
399
00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:38,132
♪ To show we're having fun ♪
400
00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:40,208
God, I miss those paint fights.
401
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:43,086
♪ But then the music
slows down ♪
402
00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:45,422
♪ 'Cause the shuttle blew up ♪
403
00:17:45,423 --> 00:17:49,143
♪ And it really hit home ♪
404
00:17:49,144 --> 00:17:51,762
I don't know why
we painted that day.
405
00:17:51,763 --> 00:17:53,072
♪ But then we picked up
the pieces ♪
406
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,150
♪ And started painting again ♪
407
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:57,559
Yay! We overcame!
408
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,770
I got to get my family back.
409
00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:02,748
♪ And who am I?
I'm a fly on the wall ♪
410
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:06,160
♪ A fly who's seen it all. ♪
411
00:18:06,161 --> 00:18:08,837
Ah, damn it.
Now we got to repaint.
412
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:14,743
Come on!
I got to get to the airport.
413
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:17,579
Sorry, bub.
You'll be driving there slow.
414
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:20,007
Unless you got
some kind of up-tempo rock music
415
00:18:20,008 --> 00:18:21,474
that's good for speeding to.
416
00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:30,684
Mom? What is it?
417
00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:34,262
I-I thought maybe your father
would show up at the last second
418
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:36,115
and we'd have
one of those airport scenes.
419
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:39,976
Well, that's a nice movie trope,
Lois, but the post-9/11 reality
420
00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:41,954
is there's no way
a nonticketed civilian can...
421
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,772
♪ Panama... ♪
422
00:18:43,773 --> 00:18:44,981
Lois! Kids!
423
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:46,608
(gasps)
Dad came.
424
00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:48,202
Brian was wrong again.
425
00:18:48,203 --> 00:18:50,129
He's basically always wrong.
426
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,280
- Peter?
- Guys, please don't go.
427
00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:53,707
I love you.
428
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,992
Oh, Peter,
what made you change your mind?
429
00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:57,803
I just... I've been thinking.
430
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,546
Okay, so you tried to kill me.
431
00:18:59,547 --> 00:19:02,290
But maybe that's what
a family is, you know?
432
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,810
A bunch of people
who try to kill each other.
433
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,837
I don't think
that's what a family is.
434
00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:08,130
Eh, it is, kind of.
435
00:19:08,131 --> 00:19:11,058
Anyway, you're my family,
and I love you.
436
00:19:11,059 --> 00:19:13,635
And if I got to have my plug
pulled by somebody,
437
00:19:13,636 --> 00:19:15,654
I want it to be you.
438
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,824
And you're the only people
whose plug I want to pull.
439
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,976
Will you come back?
440
00:19:20,977 --> 00:19:23,570
Yes, Peter. Yes!
441
00:19:23,571 --> 00:19:25,455
(moaning)
442
00:19:28,076 --> 00:19:29,918
(all moaning)
443
00:19:32,196 --> 00:19:34,047
All right, everybody switch.
444
00:19:35,992 --> 00:19:37,918
I got a guy.
445
00:19:37,919 --> 00:19:40,053
But I made the rules,
so I went with it.
446
00:19:46,136 --> 00:19:48,545
Well, we all learned
an important lesson:
447
00:19:48,546 --> 00:19:50,931
no one should ever read a book.
448
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:52,599
Eh, I didn't need a coma
to know that.
449
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,026
(phone vibrates)
450
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,194
Oh, my God, you guys.
451
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,388
Another space shuttle exploded.
452
00:19:58,389 --> 00:20:01,349
(sighs) Well,
there's only one thing to do.
453
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:03,035
Let's paint.
454
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,561
♪ ♪
455
00:20:04,562 --> 00:20:07,063
♪ Painting the walls ♪
456
00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:11,026
♪ To get through tough times ♪
457
00:20:11,027 --> 00:20:12,903
♪ When shuttles blow up ♪
458
00:20:12,904 --> 00:20:15,456
♪ It's not always an accident ♪
459
00:20:15,457 --> 00:20:17,124
What do you mean,
not an accident?
460
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,992
Who is this guy singing?
461
00:20:18,993 --> 00:20:22,078
♪ And who am I?
A conspiracy fly ♪
462
00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:26,875
♪ Did you know "NASA"
means "deceive" in Hebrew? ♪
463
00:20:26,876 --> 00:20:28,043
I did not.
464
00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:30,062
♪ The Denver Airport was built ♪
465
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:34,808
♪ By the Illuminati ♪
466
00:20:34,809 --> 00:20:36,810
Peter, shoo that fly
out of here.
467
00:20:36,811 --> 00:20:38,812
I will as soon as I find out
if he has
468
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:41,765
a banned-from-the-Apple-Store
podcast I can listen to.
469
00:20:41,766 --> 00:20:43,317
♪ I do ♪
470
00:20:43,318 --> 00:20:46,912
♪ It's FlyOnTheWall. buzz/truth ♪
471
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:50,583
♪ First reconfigure
your DNS server ♪
472
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,235
♪ Then download a VPN ♪
473
00:20:53,236 --> 00:20:58,757
♪ And get the Tor browser. ♪
474
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,967
It's too much work.
34355
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