Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,358 --> 00:00:01,689
Previously on Weeds...
2
00:00:01,828 --> 00:00:03,877
- Uncle Andy!
- Hey!
3
00:00:04,015 --> 00:00:05,442
How long are you planning on staying?
4
00:00:05,487 --> 00:00:07,200
Just till I figure some things out.
5
00:00:07,293 --> 00:00:07,904
Like?
6
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,038
My life.
7
00:00:09,131 --> 00:00:11,992
Just IMing my girlfriend. She's deaf.
8
00:00:12,085 --> 00:00:13,894
This girl sounds like a keeper, Silas.
9
00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:15,030
Don't mess it up.
10
00:00:15,546 --> 00:00:17,200
You know I read somewhere that
11
00:00:17,252 --> 00:00:21,265
killing small animals is the first sign of psychotic behavior.
12
00:00:21,599 --> 00:00:22,393
Leave your car.
13
00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:24,054
How am I gonna get home?
14
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,431
Take Conrad's bucket.
15
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:27,091
White lady in the hooptie?
16
00:00:27,145 --> 00:00:29,041
You gotta let me get a picture.
17
00:00:29,186 --> 00:00:30,422
It's a classic car.
18
00:00:30,566 --> 00:00:32,130
I went at my old friend Conrad's
19
00:00:32,315 --> 00:00:37,473
and imagine my surprise when I was handed a giant bag of weed for you.
20
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,262
I have cancer.
21
00:01:57,907 --> 00:02:01,381
Shiiiit!
22
00:02:05,465 --> 00:02:06,553
My name is Shane.
23
00:02:06,695 --> 00:02:09,791
I bring the pain up from the streets of Agrestic.
24
00:02:10,076 --> 00:02:11,980
Bitch! You don't wanna sweat this.
25
00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:14,120
I'll cap any motherfucker.
26
00:02:14,226 --> 00:02:15,782
You don't wanna test this.
27
00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:17,782
- Bee...
- Be-atch!
28
00:02:18,526 --> 00:02:19,851
I've got rage in me.
29
00:02:19,958 --> 00:02:21,610
This is my way of venting.
30
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,281
Well, you made a lot of people in the school very nervous.
31
00:02:24,426 --> 00:02:27,662
Yeah, that's because they're a bunch of bitch ass white boys!
32
00:02:27,755 --> 00:02:28,892
I hate to break it to you but
33
00:02:28,996 --> 00:02:30,990
you're also a bitch ass white boy.
34
00:02:31,508 --> 00:02:32,592
Whatever.
35
00:02:32,877 --> 00:02:33,961
I don't care.
36
00:02:34,057 --> 00:02:35,910
I think you do care a great deal.
37
00:02:36,008 --> 00:02:36,620
Yeah?
38
00:02:36,807 --> 00:02:37,613
About what?
39
00:02:37,706 --> 00:02:39,360
You want approval from your peer group
40
00:02:39,506 --> 00:02:40,500
and when you don't get it,
41
00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:42,022
when they call you weirdo
42
00:02:42,168 --> 00:02:43,581
or strange Botwin,
43
00:02:43,817 --> 00:02:45,343
then you wanna lash out.
44
00:02:45,488 --> 00:02:47,671
In this case, through your rap.
45
00:02:48,188 --> 00:02:49,413
Yeah.
46
00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:51,073
That's it.
47
00:02:51,307 --> 00:02:53,302
I just wanna fit in.
48
00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:54,570
Can I go now?
49
00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:56,672
Shane, you're here because there's some concern
50
00:02:57,186 --> 00:02:59,371
that you might act on these emotions.
51
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,561
I'm not gonna cap any motherfuckers.
52
00:03:02,127 --> 00:03:04,080
How do I know that?
53
00:03:04,737 --> 00:03:08,362
'cause my therapist says I'm just acting out because my dad's dead.
54
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,010
You may go.
55
00:03:11,937 --> 00:03:13,742
These walls were just wallpapered.
56
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,020
The paper looks old.
57
00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:17,352
Yeah, well, that was the look we were going for.
58
00:03:18,017 --> 00:03:20,061
With all due respect, sir,
59
00:03:20,155 --> 00:03:22,681
this is not the first time that a crate of carbonated beverages
60
00:03:22,776 --> 00:03:25,541
fell from a low flying Cessna and devastated a house.
61
00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:26,381
You're kidding?
62
00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:31,770
Is this a bad time?
63
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:34,243
No, it's just her faith healer.
64
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,243
Well, okay then. Look at this bed!
65
00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,243
I mean, it's an antique, a family heirloom.
66
00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:41,413
My children were conceived on this bed.
67
00:03:41,508 --> 00:03:42,932
It's got a lot of history.
68
00:03:43,218 --> 00:03:45,590
Could I trouble you for a drink?
69
00:03:45,736 --> 00:03:46,630
Yeah.
70
00:03:51,558 --> 00:03:52,592
Stand up.
71
00:04:04,687 --> 00:04:05,873
Wow!
72
00:04:06,385 --> 00:04:07,471
Hey Nanc'!
73
00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:09,612
This is Herma, the faith healer.
74
00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:11,082
She's sniffing me
75
00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:13,412
to see if my cancer has spread.
76
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,343
Hi!
77
00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:16,431
Would you like me to smell you next?
78
00:04:16,605 --> 00:04:19,893
No, thank you, I was smelled yesterday.
79
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:23,323
That was not my idea. The PTA ladies sent her over.
80
00:04:23,566 --> 00:04:26,222
Personally I would have preferred one of those cookies
81
00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:27,312
on a stick.
82
00:04:28,117 --> 00:04:29,772
Perhaps you are not ready.
83
00:04:30,198 --> 00:04:31,381
I should leave.
84
00:04:34,147 --> 00:04:36,720
Well, namast�.
85
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,050
This place is a wreck.
86
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:38,803
Yeah.
87
00:04:39,368 --> 00:04:41,742
You see what consumer culture has done to me?
88
00:04:41,796 --> 00:04:42,742
How are you holding up?
89
00:04:42,836 --> 00:04:44,350
Better than my ceiling.
90
00:04:44,495 --> 00:04:46,871
I was toying with a Snapple motif
91
00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:49,303
but God said Coke!
92
00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:51,440
Ms. Celia, I come for dry-clean.
93
00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:54,151
I really don't feel like sorting through those clothes.
94
00:04:54,576 --> 00:04:55,570
You know what Blanca?
95
00:04:56,048 --> 00:04:56,982
You take it.
96
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:58,742
Okay, I go to dry-clean.
97
00:04:58,835 --> 00:05:02,111
No, no, I want you to take all the clothes.
98
00:05:02,627 --> 00:05:04,811
Go ahead! Take them. Rapido!
99
00:05:05,527 --> 00:05:06,613
I cannot take.
100
00:05:06,745 --> 00:05:08,701
You must know somebody in my size!
101
00:05:08,848 --> 00:05:11,122
Aren't there like 18 people living in your house?
102
00:05:14,266 --> 00:05:17,070
Coming up next in the Raw Skin channel:
103
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,641
The Incredahoes.
104
00:05:19,298 --> 00:05:21,003
Incredahoes!
105
00:05:25,557 --> 00:05:26,643
Fuck!
106
00:05:28,935 --> 00:05:29,641
Hey, Doug!
107
00:05:29,737 --> 00:05:30,453
Hey, Randy!
108
00:05:30,727 --> 00:05:32,201
Andy. It's Andy.
109
00:05:32,337 --> 00:05:33,313
Oh really? I thought...
110
00:05:33,405 --> 00:05:34,213
It's not Randy?
111
00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:35,671
Oh.
112
00:05:36,327 --> 00:05:37,792
I've always thought of you as a Randy.
113
00:05:38,078 --> 00:05:38,970
Pretty sure.
114
00:05:39,148 --> 00:05:41,282
Wow! Okay.
115
00:05:43,437 --> 00:05:44,481
Looking for Nancy?
116
00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:45,901
Yeah, I am. Is she around?
117
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:46,791
Nope.
118
00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:50,072
You could try her cell phone.
119
00:05:50,446 --> 00:05:53,530
Oh no, no, no. She needs to sign some stuff, papers and things, you know.
120
00:05:53,628 --> 00:05:54,142
Do you...
121
00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:57,480
You're watching Incredahoes?
122
00:05:58,197 --> 00:05:59,042
Yeah.
123
00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:00,353
That's good.
124
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,971
I started it 7 or 8 times. I've never seen the whole thing.
125
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,863
That's a strong endorsement.
126
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:05,843
Yeah. Oh...
127
00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:09,673
I don't suppose you'd let me watch with you, would you?
128
00:06:09,765 --> 00:06:11,130
It'd be kinda weird.
129
00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:13,893
Yeah, I guess you're right.
130
00:06:14,027 --> 00:06:14,973
Well, enjoy.
131
00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:16,460
Orgasmagirl is a squirter.
132
00:06:16,548 --> 00:06:18,022
Hey! Hey! Hey! Spoiler!
133
00:06:18,118 --> 00:06:19,780
Alright. Sorry.
134
00:06:20,576 --> 00:06:22,472
You know I got about an eighth of romulan on me.
135
00:06:22,597 --> 00:06:23,200
- Come in!
- Alright.
136
00:06:23,306 --> 00:06:27,641
What happened to you last night?
137
00:06:27,746 --> 00:06:29,640
What do you mean? I was with Megan.
138
00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:31,201
When are you gonna get over that?
139
00:06:31,677 --> 00:06:32,523
Excuse me?
140
00:06:32,757 --> 00:06:33,993
Come on, man, you're in your prime.
141
00:06:34,035 --> 00:06:35,893
You really wanna tie yourself down to the deaf girl?
142
00:06:36,036 --> 00:06:37,072
She's actually pretty cool.
143
00:06:37,775 --> 00:06:38,630
Did you fuck her yet?
144
00:06:38,952 --> 00:06:40,235
Come on, man!
145
00:06:40,339 --> 00:06:41,133
Think about it!
146
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:42,944
You're always gonna have to read television.
147
00:06:43,176 --> 00:06:45,450
If you've passed out drunk and your house catches on fire,
148
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,070
she's not gonna hear the smoke alarm.
149
00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:48,503
And you're both gonna die.
150
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,401
Last night, while you weren't fucking deaf girl,
151
00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:52,670
you missed Tiffany's party.
152
00:06:52,768 --> 00:06:54,230
Jessica, Lauren, Chelsea!
153
00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:55,132
They were all there.
154
00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:57,853
Hot, ready, they can hear.
155
00:06:58,138 --> 00:06:59,312
And one of them is into you.
156
00:06:59,597 --> 00:07:00,921
Which one?
157
00:07:01,117 --> 00:07:02,351
Chelsea.
158
00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:03,593
You're such a liar.
159
00:07:03,696 --> 00:07:06,123
No, man, I'm serious. You need to dump the damaged goods
160
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,780
and see what's up with Chelsea.
161
00:07:15,808 --> 00:07:19,532
Oh my God! I forgot about these!
162
00:07:20,478 --> 00:07:22,660
These baby clothes are new.
163
00:07:23,037 --> 00:07:24,463
- Were you...?
- I had a miscarriage.
164
00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:26,361
- Last year.
- Oh... I'm sorry.
165
00:07:26,455 --> 00:07:27,013
Don't be.
166
00:07:27,115 --> 00:07:29,641
With my track record, it was a blessing. Trust me.
167
00:07:29,778 --> 00:07:31,290
Blanca, do you need baby clothes?
168
00:07:31,396 --> 00:07:33,630
I know someone who could use them.
169
00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,672
Mrs. Celia, give clothes to me you don't need.
170
00:07:35,766 --> 00:07:37,571
No, I know someone who needs them.
171
00:07:37,806 --> 00:07:39,562
Please, let go!
172
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,230
Blanca, let her have them.
173
00:07:43,266 --> 00:07:46,120
Don't worry, I have something better for you.
174
00:07:48,237 --> 00:07:49,041
This?
175
00:07:50,215 --> 00:07:51,871
Oh my God!
176
00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:55,901
I haven't seen these since high school.
177
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,891
Oh God, I used to be so hot!
178
00:07:58,986 --> 00:08:00,031
My feathered hair,
179
00:08:00,786 --> 00:08:02,732
satin hot pants on,
180
00:08:02,918 --> 00:08:06,111
high on 'ludes, quid of the roller disco.
181
00:08:06,306 --> 00:08:08,921
I could fuck against a wall with my skates on,
182
00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:10,083
no easy feet.
183
00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:13,222
I could come in a heartbeat.
184
00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:14,490
Then you keep?
185
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,182
Oh yeah, I keep.
186
00:08:17,585 --> 00:08:18,682
So, Blanca,
187
00:08:18,825 --> 00:08:20,813
How are you set for furniture?
188
00:08:23,918 --> 00:08:24,821
Runway?
189
00:08:25,388 --> 00:08:28,231
You know, that little piece of skin between your asshole and your balls.
190
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,413
Or asshole and vagina.
191
00:08:29,505 --> 00:08:30,533
That's called the runway.
192
00:08:30,675 --> 00:08:34,251
That's called the taint. Taint ass. Taint equipment.
193
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,032
What the hell does that mean?
194
00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:40,740
No, I think runway is much more of a visual description.
195
00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:42,633
This is a taint!
196
00:08:42,925 --> 00:08:43,673
Runway!
197
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,140
This is a taint!
198
00:08:45,986 --> 00:08:46,692
Runway!
199
00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:47,730
Hey, Lupita!
200
00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:50,131
Settle an argument for us.
201
00:08:50,518 --> 00:08:52,990
What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?
202
00:08:53,118 --> 00:08:54,813
The coffee table.
203
00:09:05,318 --> 00:09:07,213
I'm telling you, they could have been killed.
204
00:09:07,357 --> 00:09:09,741
When bottles fall from the sky like that, it's like
205
00:09:09,927 --> 00:09:11,503
little torpedoes.
206
00:09:12,025 --> 00:09:13,431
And they were everywhere.
207
00:09:13,677 --> 00:09:16,202
Coke in the carpet. They were stuck in the walls.
208
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,672
Furniture was destroyed. It was a mess!
209
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:21,912
Ah please! That white girl will make out like Halliburton.
210
00:09:22,058 --> 00:09:23,282
How much you want for this stuff?
211
00:09:23,428 --> 00:09:25,850
No, nothing. She was giving it away anyway so...
212
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:30,293
What? Like I'm some charity case that needs your free white lady hand-me-downs.
213
00:09:30,425 --> 00:09:31,903
No! I thought...
214
00:09:32,045 --> 00:09:34,993
You ain't got no problem going down at the church and getting free cheese and shit.
215
00:09:35,138 --> 00:09:36,600
Heylia makes me go down there.
216
00:09:36,748 --> 00:09:39,500
First of all, I don't make you do shit, little girl.
217
00:09:39,636 --> 00:09:41,532
And second of all, I ain't shame.
218
00:09:41,638 --> 00:09:42,812
If it's free, it's me.
219
00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:45,341
And I don't turn down nothing but my color.
220
00:09:45,435 --> 00:09:47,380
And girl, don't act like you don't like free cheese
221
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,092
just 'cause this white child's standing there.
222
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:49,942
Fuck her!
223
00:09:50,035 --> 00:09:52,093
Yeah... fuck me!
224
00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:55,173
I mean, I'll take them since you brought them.
225
00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:56,932
This for you, Snowflake.
226
00:09:57,128 --> 00:09:59,590
This my special blend I call it "Let's hear Clark Kent".
227
00:09:59,735 --> 00:10:01,680
Just sniff this way, you'll see.
228
00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:04,393
This thing good, huh?
229
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,563
You smoke this shit and you wanna just
230
00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:09,820
rip your clothes off in a phone booth and fight crime.
231
00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:11,151
I'm serious. Take that.
232
00:10:11,665 --> 00:10:13,671
Let's get the brother's keys. You could roll.
233
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,572
Whoo! It's a big day!
234
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:17,691
Bobby getting her dream car back.
235
00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:21,941
I added a little twist to it for you, I think you're gonna like it too.
236
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,453
- Alright?
- Okay.
237
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,652
Conrad, I just wanted to talk to you about one thing.
238
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,473
This morning, I was in the garage.
239
00:10:29,605 --> 00:10:30,113
Okay, just...
240
00:10:30,257 --> 00:10:32,453
- What the fuck happened to my car?
- No, no, no, no.
241
00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,973
A trunk fell on the hood.
242
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,680
A trunk? A trunk fell on my baby?
243
00:10:39,788 --> 00:10:41,312
...that, it would be fine.
244
00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:42,452
Oh really? So you gonna do it?
245
00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:43,771
No, but you're gonna pay for it?
246
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:45,053
- I'm gonna pay for it.
- I know you're gonna pay for it.
247
00:10:45,158 --> 00:10:47,193
Of course, I'm gonna pay for it. I just said I was gonna pay for it.
248
00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:47,950
Baby, I heard what you said.
249
00:10:48,046 --> 00:10:49,270
Hey!
250
00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:50,543
Stop all that damn arguing!
251
00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:52,071
This is a house of peace.
252
00:11:05,326 --> 00:11:06,792
Everybody, alright?
253
00:11:07,356 --> 00:11:07,961
Yeah.
254
00:11:08,245 --> 00:11:08,812
I'm cool.
255
00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:10,783
Snowflake?
256
00:11:12,147 --> 00:11:12,891
Snowflake?
257
00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:15,303
She's in shock. Slap her!
258
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,240
I ain't slapping no white woman.
259
00:11:17,388 --> 00:11:18,421
Move! I'll do it.
260
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,063
I'm okay.
261
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,591
- You're sure?
- Yeah.
262
00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:22,623
Yeah.
263
00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:27,121
Alright, let's clean this shit up.
264
00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,783
Somebody doesn't call the police?
265
00:11:40,888 --> 00:11:43,091
Baby, that probably was the police.
266
00:11:48,796 --> 00:11:50,031
I'm gonna go.
267
00:11:55,428 --> 00:11:57,192
So wait, I need my keys.
268
00:11:57,616 --> 00:11:58,592
I need my keys.
269
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:00,922
We got unsettled business. You haven't even talked to me about my car yet.
270
00:12:01,026 --> 00:12:02,211
How you're gonna get your keys back?
271
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:02,663
Boy!
272
00:12:02,757 --> 00:12:04,410
The girl just had her shooting cherry broke.
273
00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:05,640
Give her the keys.
274
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:09,970
We still gotta talk though.
275
00:12:10,068 --> 00:12:11,020
Yeah, okay.
276
00:12:11,578 --> 00:12:12,240
Shit...
277
00:12:12,327 --> 00:12:16,242
White folks get soda pop, niggers get bullets.
278
00:13:03,287 --> 00:13:04,331
Hey!
279
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,873
Doug left these papers for the bakery.
280
00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:09,831
He says when you sign on the line, it is all ours.
281
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:10,601
Ours?
282
00:13:10,635 --> 00:13:12,470
Yes! I cook, you sell.
283
00:13:12,565 --> 00:13:14,610
Come on, Nanc'! I don't mind you being out there in front.
284
00:13:14,705 --> 00:13:17,131
I'm totally liberated. It's me and you, babe!
285
00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:18,441
Team Botwin.
286
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,622
Please, leave.
287
00:13:19,726 --> 00:13:21,380
I will just as soon as you sign these papers.
288
00:13:21,495 --> 00:13:23,253
There's no water in this tub!
289
00:13:23,398 --> 00:13:24,942
I can't do this right now.
290
00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:25,860
You have to!
291
00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:28,131
Doug says if you don't hurry, they're gonna put a vitamin store in there.
292
00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,403
And this town does not need
293
00:13:29,505 --> 00:13:30,833
more ginkgo biloba.
294
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,302
It needs pot brownies. Come on, sign!
295
00:13:33,405 --> 00:13:35,920
Andy, today it was brought to my attention
296
00:13:36,027 --> 00:13:38,510
that the downside of this business is death.
297
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:42,162
So, right now, I'm not thinking about the bakery.
298
00:13:42,265 --> 00:13:44,793
I'm thinking about enrolling in dental hygiene school
299
00:13:44,885 --> 00:13:46,701
so my children aren't orphans.
300
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:51,743
If anything happens to you, I will raise Silas and Shane as my own.
301
00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,461
Now I pledge never to die.
302
00:13:55,606 --> 00:13:57,411
We're gonna have to get a longer lease.
303
00:13:57,835 --> 00:14:00,511
Andy, this is my business. This has nothing to do with you.
304
00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:03,881
Go downstairs. Do what you do best:
305
00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:05,762
control the cash in your underwear.
306
00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:06,393
Look,
307
00:14:06,537 --> 00:14:07,273
this is different.
308
00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:10,721
This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
309
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:13,461
Since you started the business, I will settle for only 40%.
310
00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:16,423
That is so fair! God! I can feel it in my body.
311
00:14:16,517 --> 00:14:19,561
I can feel it in my bones! Feel my hands! They're vibrating!
312
00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:21,611
Feel 'em in the living room. I said now!
313
00:14:21,688 --> 00:14:22,392
Why?
314
00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:23,923
Andy, if you wanna sell drugs,
315
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,240
do it on your own.
316
00:14:25,336 --> 00:14:26,612
Get your own bakery.
317
00:14:26,715 --> 00:14:27,762
Find you own customers.
318
00:14:27,846 --> 00:14:29,842
Get the fuck out of my bathroom!
319
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,481
Yeah, fine.
320
00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:36,481
Fine.
321
00:14:45,566 --> 00:14:49,761
Megan89: Meet me at the library. I want to show you something.
322
00:14:49,907 --> 00:14:52,182
Silbot: Can't.
323
00:14:53,557 --> 00:14:56,840
Megan89: Why?
324
00:14:57,586 --> 00:15:00,833
Silbot: I can't be tied down.
325
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:09,371
Silbot: I need space.
326
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:15,340
Megan89: Fuck you.
327
00:15:17,245 --> 00:15:21,152
I love the fact that everyone put her best foot or food
328
00:15:21,276 --> 00:15:24,153
forward in making our bake sales the greatest ever.
329
00:15:27,437 --> 00:15:29,152
Oh my God! Look at Celia.
330
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:30,442
What's she wearing?
331
00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:31,990
Look who's here everyone! It's Celia!
332
00:15:32,436 --> 00:15:35,182
Down, Maggie. I have cancer, I'm not retarded.
333
00:15:35,606 --> 00:15:36,640
Of course.
334
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,161
Would you like to take your place at the podium?
335
00:15:39,257 --> 00:15:41,163
No, please. Keep going.
336
00:15:41,397 --> 00:15:43,583
PTA needs your enthusiasm.
337
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,693
Foxy Lady?
338
00:15:49,785 --> 00:15:50,682
I was!
339
00:15:50,797 --> 00:15:52,631
I was Hot Stuff, red satin.
340
00:15:53,477 --> 00:15:58,740
I was Big Fun, green polyester.
341
00:15:58,825 --> 00:15:59,580
Celia!
342
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,002
You can't smoke in here.
343
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,390
Because?
344
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,052
Second-hand smoke kills.
345
00:16:04,735 --> 00:16:07,262
Celia, did you bring your muffins?
346
00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:09,013
I didn't fell like baking.
347
00:16:09,155 --> 00:16:11,391
None of us ever feels like baking.
348
00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:12,741
I love baking!
349
00:16:12,908 --> 00:16:14,193
Except Pam.
350
00:16:14,296 --> 00:16:17,282
But we do it anyway for the sake of our children.
351
00:16:17,338 --> 00:16:18,582
Oh give me a break!
352
00:16:18,617 --> 00:16:20,660
You're raising money for a swim team.
353
00:16:20,817 --> 00:16:22,932
How much do swimming trunks cost anyway?
354
00:16:23,027 --> 00:16:24,883
$18,95.
355
00:16:25,955 --> 00:16:27,473
I'll tell you what...
356
00:16:29,746 --> 00:16:31,161
Keep the change.
357
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:34,292
So, we really not getting the muffin, are we?
358
00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:36,001
I have in my hands
359
00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:39,780
the last pharmaceutical Quaalude on Earth.
360
00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:43,960
See you, ladies.
361
00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:47,732
Down, Pammy. Down.
362
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,052
Hi, Silas!
363
00:16:54,165 --> 00:16:55,593
- Hey, Chelsea!
- Hey!
364
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:59,693
So I heard you were asking for me at Tiffany's last night.
365
00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:01,201
Really?
366
00:17:01,356 --> 00:17:03,200
I don't remember that.
367
00:17:03,358 --> 00:17:07,350
Someone said you were bringing more beers so I was all "Where's Silas? Where's Silas?
368
00:17:07,455 --> 00:17:08,923
Where is the beer?"
369
00:17:09,118 --> 00:17:11,632
What happened? Did you get carded or something?
370
00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:13,610
Yeah.
371
00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:17,423
Yeah, that's right, I got carded.
372
00:17:17,697 --> 00:17:18,821
Bummer.
373
00:17:18,976 --> 00:17:20,693
Yeah.
374
00:17:21,947 --> 00:17:23,133
Here comes trouble.
375
00:17:23,227 --> 00:17:24,502
Hey, family!
376
00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:27,462
You ain't no family of mine. State your business.
377
00:17:27,606 --> 00:17:29,962
What? Does a guy need a reason to visit his friends?
378
00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:31,691
Man, you really got to cut that shit out
379
00:17:31,747 --> 00:17:33,513
because you're making me sick now.
380
00:17:33,597 --> 00:17:34,342
What's up?
381
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:37,673
Well, I decided to go on a business for myself.
382
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:41,430
Have you now? Is there a big market for horseshit these days?
383
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,743
No, I'm gonna sell marijuana.
384
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:48,372
I was wondering if you might know where I could procure some, would you?
385
00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:52,653
Where you planning to unload this marijuana that you speak of.
386
00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:56,171
Why, in the wide-open community of Agrestic, California.
387
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,262
There's not enough pot in the world
388
00:17:57,336 --> 00:18:01,350
to get those people stoned enough to forget where they live so...
389
00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:03,681
Figure I have a pretty good shot.
390
00:18:04,007 --> 00:18:07,481
Okay, so you're gonna mess with your sister-in-law shit?
391
00:18:08,235 --> 00:18:09,941
Damn! That's cold!
392
00:18:10,036 --> 00:18:12,752
I feel there's enough room for both of us.
393
00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:15,860
Yeah but see Nancy been working really hard to lock that area down and...
394
00:18:15,965 --> 00:18:17,800
And that's her problem.
395
00:18:17,998 --> 00:18:19,133
Not yours.
396
00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:22,991
You got cash?
397
00:18:30,768 --> 00:18:32,333
Get the boy an ounce.
398
00:18:35,345 --> 00:18:36,851
I love you, mommy.
399
00:19:06,668 --> 00:19:09,060
Oh! You gotta be kidding me!
400
00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:15,882
Sir, you do realize you just rolled through a stop sign, right?
401
00:19:16,097 --> 00:19:17,972
Nice bike! Did your horse die?
402
00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:18,771
Sir...
403
00:19:18,967 --> 00:19:21,473
You must be in killer shape. Let me see your quads, man.
404
00:19:21,588 --> 00:19:24,160
Can I see your driver's license and registration, please?
405
00:19:24,258 --> 00:19:26,412
When you arrest people, do you ride them in on your handlebars
406
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,900
or do they just sit on the back with their arms around you?
407
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,860
Alright, step out of the car.
408
00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:33,012
Come on! Seriously, I was just having fun!
409
00:19:33,127 --> 00:19:35,823
I mean, you're a cop in bike shorts!
410
00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:37,211
It's adorable!
411
00:19:38,086 --> 00:19:39,462
I have a gun.
412
00:19:39,605 --> 00:19:41,090
Cool. I'm cool.
413
00:19:46,245 --> 00:19:47,560
What's that smell?
414
00:19:47,655 --> 00:19:50,563
Come on, man, just give me my ticket so I can go, okay please?
415
00:19:50,895 --> 00:19:52,702
Alright, turn around. Put your arms behind your head.
416
00:19:53,765 --> 00:19:55,352
Alright, come on.
417
00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:58,002
You know, I don't think you're adorable anymore.
418
00:19:58,288 --> 00:19:59,852
Can I be home-schooled?
419
00:20:00,558 --> 00:20:01,883
Honey, if I had my way
420
00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:03,552
none of us would ever leave the house
421
00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:06,181
but that's not healthy so no. Why?
422
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,570
I got sent to the school shrink.
423
00:20:08,965 --> 00:20:10,453
They'll probably be calling in.
424
00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:13,681
Oh not again! Why this time?
425
00:20:13,778 --> 00:20:17,492
I wrote a gangsta rap about killing Devon Ransler with my gat.
426
00:20:17,597 --> 00:20:19,301
You did what?
427
00:20:19,398 --> 00:20:22,333
He's got the whole school calling me "Strange Botwin".
428
00:20:22,407 --> 00:20:23,871
It was just a joke.
429
00:20:24,165 --> 00:20:25,593
You think that's a joke?
430
00:20:25,677 --> 00:20:27,010
This isn't a joke!
431
00:20:27,177 --> 00:20:30,171
Bullets whizzing by his head. Scared shitless!
432
00:20:30,325 --> 00:20:32,093
Death is not a joke!
433
00:20:32,248 --> 00:20:33,783
- I just thought...
- You should know that.
434
00:20:33,926 --> 00:20:35,161
Is Andy for you.
435
00:20:35,307 --> 00:20:37,390
I can't talk to him right now. What else did you say?
436
00:20:37,498 --> 00:20:38,251
She no here.
437
00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:39,793
- Tell me what else it said!
- It's nothing!
438
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,801
Okay, I'll give her message.
439
00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:42,823
What?
440
00:20:42,926 --> 00:20:44,593
He said he in jail.
441
00:20:47,695 --> 00:20:48,861
Shane!
442
00:20:52,956 --> 00:20:56,181
Why didn't I just take off? The guy was on a bike for God's sake!
443
00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:57,252
'Cause you're stupid.
444
00:20:57,396 --> 00:21:01,212
So Mrs. Greenstein, what happens now?
445
00:21:01,436 --> 00:21:02,681
Incarceration...
446
00:21:02,738 --> 00:21:05,903
in a medium security prison for a period no longer than 10 years.
447
00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:08,500
10 years!
448
00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:09,562
Joke!
449
00:21:10,655 --> 00:21:13,022
Loosen up everybody! There's nothing to worry about.
450
00:21:13,077 --> 00:21:14,603
You're looking at a fine and...
451
00:21:14,735 --> 00:21:16,732
probably an anti-drug class.
452
00:21:16,907 --> 00:21:17,861
So no jail time?
453
00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:20,702
You probably never sat through an anti-drug class.
454
00:21:20,787 --> 00:21:23,343
You had less than an ounce on you, there's no jail for that.
455
00:21:23,718 --> 00:21:25,192
Oh that's bullshit!
456
00:21:25,755 --> 00:21:27,463
I don't understand. That's good news.
457
00:21:27,557 --> 00:21:29,841
I paid for a full ounce. They fucking cheated me!
458
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:32,561
They fucking saved your ass from going to jail!
459
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,533
Still, that's very uncool.
460
00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:37,601
There used to be an unbroken spiritual bond between dealer and buyer.
461
00:21:37,627 --> 00:21:41,922
I feel your pain, Andrew, and I return it with renewed sense of outrage.
462
00:21:42,048 --> 00:21:44,013
So less than an ounce is a misdemeanor?
463
00:21:44,086 --> 00:21:46,882
And that's only if the cop's an asshole. Most cops just let you go.
464
00:21:46,977 --> 00:21:50,953
What if the marijuana is in baked goods, say candy or chocolate?
465
00:21:51,046 --> 00:21:52,933
If you can eat it, you can beat it!
466
00:21:55,027 --> 00:21:56,953
What would get their attention?
467
00:21:57,038 --> 00:21:58,943
If I sued them! Can I sue them?
468
00:22:00,038 --> 00:22:00,943
You were saying?
469
00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,522
Alright, you ask for it, you get it.
470
00:22:02,666 --> 00:22:03,990
The lay of the land.
471
00:22:04,138 --> 00:22:07,371
Marijuana currently exists in a legal gray area.
472
00:22:07,455 --> 00:22:10,361
It's not illegal to have weed, less than an ounce that is, Andrew,
473
00:22:10,507 --> 00:22:12,780
but it's illegal to buy it.
474
00:22:12,926 --> 00:22:13,771
What about growing?
475
00:22:13,906 --> 00:22:15,160
Ah botany!
476
00:22:15,488 --> 00:22:18,461
As long as it's not broken down in a non-specifically way,
477
00:22:18,485 --> 00:22:20,670
we're talking a slap on a wrist, 3 to 5.
478
00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:22,140
- Years?
- Probation.
479
00:22:22,305 --> 00:22:23,560
I'm hungry.
480
00:22:25,695 --> 00:22:28,380
So you can grow it but you can't break it down.
481
00:22:28,487 --> 00:22:29,872
Not unless you wanna go to jail.
482
00:22:29,956 --> 00:22:31,040
Or flee to Mexico.
483
00:22:31,135 --> 00:22:32,132
Or Canada.
484
00:22:32,227 --> 00:22:33,620
Canada... rocks!
485
00:22:33,696 --> 00:22:36,770
Primo weed, really good Chinese food!
486
00:22:37,215 --> 00:22:40,171
Do you have a card? 'Cause you never know on my business when...
487
00:22:40,505 --> 00:22:41,900
you might need a lawyer.
488
00:22:41,978 --> 00:22:42,913
What's your business?
489
00:22:43,216 --> 00:22:44,520
I own a bakery.
490
00:22:44,627 --> 00:22:45,951
Smart cover.
491
00:22:46,346 --> 00:22:48,220
Call anytime.
492
00:23:11,665 --> 00:23:13,743
Hey! I was fucking around today, alright?
493
00:23:13,838 --> 00:23:14,843
I didn't mean it.
494
00:23:15,176 --> 00:23:16,330
Okay, look, I made a mistake.
495
00:23:16,415 --> 00:23:19,173
I don't want Chelsea, I don't want any other girl. I want you.
496
00:23:33,388 --> 00:23:34,481
Is your mom home?
497
00:23:34,606 --> 00:23:37,622
Not yet. She went to bail uncle Andy out of jail.
498
00:23:37,795 --> 00:23:39,291
Well, tell her I stopped by.
499
00:23:39,378 --> 00:23:41,582
Okay. I like you jacket.
500
00:23:42,465 --> 00:23:44,133
Thank you, Shane.
501
00:23:46,756 --> 00:23:49,040
Everyone thinks I've lost my mind.
502
00:23:49,135 --> 00:23:50,563
Everyone thinks I'm weird.
503
00:23:50,898 --> 00:23:53,631
Well, I can see how you might give that impression.
504
00:23:54,076 --> 00:23:55,931
I really don't care what they think.
505
00:23:56,026 --> 00:23:57,110
Good for you!
506
00:23:57,865 --> 00:23:59,861
Let your freak flag fly!
507
00:24:00,695 --> 00:24:02,450
- Really?
- Really.
508
00:24:02,967 --> 00:24:05,633
I've recently stopped giving a shit what anyone thinks.
509
00:24:05,726 --> 00:24:06,990
And I gotta tell you...
510
00:24:07,085 --> 00:24:08,510
I feel great.
511
00:24:09,028 --> 00:24:10,542
But you have cancer.
512
00:24:10,828 --> 00:24:12,202
And you have a dead father.
513
00:24:13,046 --> 00:24:17,440
Both of us make people really uncomfortable but there's no way around it.
514
00:24:18,008 --> 00:24:21,432
So either we can feel self-conscious and pretend that everything is normal
515
00:24:21,517 --> 00:24:23,901
or we can just be our strange self.
516
00:24:25,635 --> 00:24:27,343
Thanks, Mrs. Hodes.
517
00:24:27,777 --> 00:24:28,852
For what?
518
00:24:29,085 --> 00:24:30,790
For telling me the truth.
519
00:24:31,646 --> 00:24:32,970
You're welcome.
520
00:24:35,647 --> 00:24:37,541
It's a bitch though, ain't it?
521
00:24:45,085 --> 00:24:47,151
I'm really gonna miss my babies.
522
00:24:47,936 --> 00:24:50,130
We've had some good times together.
523
00:24:52,046 --> 00:24:56,122
After reconstructive surgery, you're gonna feel as good as new.
524
00:24:56,156 --> 00:24:59,250
Better, you're gonna have the tits of a 19 year old girl.
525
00:24:59,396 --> 00:25:01,292
I was thinking of going bigger.
526
00:25:01,527 --> 00:25:03,103
Bigger?
527
00:25:03,198 --> 00:25:05,720
Really big, like freak show big.
528
00:25:05,908 --> 00:25:07,952
47 triple Fs.
529
00:25:08,045 --> 00:25:12,891
So large that other smaller breasts will want to orbit them.
530
00:25:13,905 --> 00:25:17,972
I think you've had one too many.
531
00:25:20,146 --> 00:25:21,782
Do you like me?
532
00:25:23,685 --> 00:25:24,693
Really?
533
00:25:26,085 --> 00:25:27,021
Yeah.
534
00:25:28,888 --> 00:25:30,661
Mostly.
535
00:25:32,715 --> 00:25:34,102
Thank you.
536
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,210
Gotta go pee.
537
00:25:45,135 --> 00:25:48,430
Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Hodes, I didn't realize anyone was in here.
538
00:25:48,578 --> 00:25:50,621
Can I ask your opinion about something?
539
00:25:51,047 --> 00:25:52,371
Sure.
540
00:25:53,275 --> 00:25:55,503
What do you think about these?
541
00:25:55,687 --> 00:25:57,323
Celia, what do you...
542
00:25:57,396 --> 00:25:59,820
Celia, what are you doing?
543
00:26:00,135 --> 00:26:03,370
I just wanted to show my breast to someone who would appreciate them.
544
00:26:07,995 --> 00:26:09,393
I don't give a flying fuck
545
00:26:09,475 --> 00:26:10,552
if you do have cancer,
546
00:26:10,658 --> 00:26:13,010
put your tits away in front of my kid.
547
00:26:13,098 --> 00:26:15,130
Sorry.
548
00:26:15,376 --> 00:26:16,970
I took a 'lude.
549
00:26:19,018 --> 00:26:22,512
Transcript and synchro: Travis
- www.forom.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
38437
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.