All language subtitles for Tremors.3.Back.To.Perfection.2001.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG

Is that the new guy?

We are completamente
seguros here

because I've selected
my position carefully.

First rule of engagement,
know your enemy.

Second rule,
know where to engage him.

Good, you've kept
your engines running.

I want maximum
heat emissions from
these coordinates.

The time, 0500 hours.

The place,
seven klicks south
of El Chaco.

The situation,
a single graboid

reported in the area
two weeks ago.

Only the third
appearance of these
underground carnivores

in the last 11 years.

Unfortunately,
lack of action on the part
of local authorities

has allowed the creature
to metamorphose

into the second stage
of its life cycle,

producing six shriekers,

a voracious,
hermaphroditic life form

which can double in number
every few minutes

simply by eating
sufficient food.

In this case, chickens.

A truckload of chickens.

Infrared monitoring
now indicates
the shrieker herd

moving across
the pampas toward us

closing at less
than 300 meters.

290. 280.

I've managed to lead
the shrieker herd away
from civilian population.

My tactical approach is
utilize various maneuvers

demonstrated by
Sitting Bull
at Little Bighorn

and Field Marshal Rommel
during the North Africa
campaign.

The idea being to set up
a proper kill zone.

I should take this
opportunity to point out
their zero tactical skills.

Lacking eyes or ears,
they can sense only
heat and...

Patience, mi amigo.

Nothing to worry about,

because for once,
I have the proper
tool at hand.

Looking for
a little heat?

Any questions?

Hey, Burt, welcome home.

We saw you on CNN
shooting that cannon thing.

Dual .50
antiaircraft turret mount.
Good to see you, Miguel.

What the hell is that?

Just some real estate guys
out of Reno.

They want to cut up
the valley into parcels.

That'll be a cold day
in hell.

Well, that's what
I told them!

Hey, Burt,
while you were gone,

there was this conga line
of cement trucks
going up to your place.

What the heck you
building up there?

I installed an underground
graboid barrier,
my own design.

Big cement box,
two-foot thick,
steel reinforced,

completely
surrounding my compound,
sides and bottom.

Now I can sleep nights.
(LAUGHS)

Come on, Burt.
What's it been, 11 years?

No reason
to lower your guard.

Burt, welcome home.

Put in a barcode reader?

Jodi, they can use that
to build a profile
on all my purchases.

Burt, welcome home.

Yeah, welcome.
Next, they'll want
a sample of my DNA.

How have you been?
I guess I'm getting by.

Getting by?

You're doing better
than your uncle ever did.

Hey, in retail,
if you're not
three steps ahead,

you're one step behind.

You want your mail?
Yeah, I guess.

"Perfection
Valley Ranchettes."

Uh-huh.
They've been making
offers to all of us.

Shall I file it for you?
Mmm.

Hey! Cool watch.

Gift from the gauchos.

It continuously
updates its time
to the nanosecond

by connecting directly
to the cesium clock

in Colorado via
ultrasonic frequency.

Well above our
normal range of hearing,
but it'll give a dog fits.

Right, right, right.

So, were you able to
get me some graboid
or shrieker parts?

Beaks, tentacles, claws?

Aren't you overdoing
all this a little?

Burt, this stuff is
our claim to fame.

China's got pandas,
Australia's got koalas.

And we've got these.

Even if they are
extinct here.

Are you trying
to turn the valley
into a theme park?

It worked
for your friends,
Earl and Grady.

I'm just fighting
for my piece of
the leisure dollar.

But this...

This is your theme park
kind of guy.

"Desert Jack's
Graboid Adventure"?

Who the hell
is this yahoo?

He moved in
while you were gone,

started this business
taking people out
on graboid safaris.

I don't believe this.

JACK: (OVER LOUDSPEAKER)
Oh, believe it, ladies
and gentlemen. Believe it.

This is no theme park
simulation here.

You are in the heart
of graboid country.

These savage
subterrestrials,

these death-dealing
denizens of dirt,

first appeared
about 1 1 years ago.

Yeah,
you keep your eyes peeled,
your mind and body centered.

These things can
jump up at any moment.

What the...

Just a jackrabbit, folks.
Just a jackrabbit.

Breathe and release.
There you go.

Yeah, these suckers,

I've seen one jump clear
50 feet out of the ground
like a volcano,

swallowed
a semi-truck whole.

That's what
I call roadkill.

I tell you, yes, friends,
this whole area is
a major feeding ground.

Now, just over
that ridge there

is where a simple
shepherd named Old Fred
lost his herd of sheep.

Yeah, and everything else
from the neck down.

Now as I said,
we're in the heart
of graboid country.

Right in the heart of it!

Whoa!

JACK: Looks like
we got company, folks.

Man. Is that a graboid?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
looks like it.

Now, get back, son,
you're going to lose
a limb now.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

Hey, calm down, lady!
It's flooded!

Has it spotted us yet?

Oh, I don't know.
I can't tell yet.

But it's bigger than
I've ever seen.

Whoa.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

Hey, hey, hey!
Here it comes!

Take control of yourself.
Don't panic now.

Keep going. Come on.

Moving in.

Well, we'd better
get the hell out of Dodge!

Come on now.

We got it. It's called
divine intervention.

All right,
just stick with Jack,

you're going to
make it back.

That's one.

I think he
picked up our scent.

I thought they only
hunt by sound.

That's what I meant, sound.

Four!

All right, baby.
Been waiting for you.
Come to daddy.

Come on now,
hop on this here rock.

Here you go. Here you go.
Give me your hand, darling.

Come on, come one.
Here you go.

There you go.
All right, all right.

Hang on to your hat now.
Here's the rest of us.

All right.
We got everybody now?

Let's see here,
one, two, three,
four, five.

All right, that's good,
that's good.

Well, I think we just
best wait it out a spell.

How long do you think
it will be?

Well, ma'am, time
is the eternal river.

I suggest
we not swim upstream.

Damn, it's hot out here.

Anybody up for
an ice cold beer?

All right, I got
$3 a bottle, domestic,
$4.50, imported.

Also, might I recommend
my fresh fruit juices?

Monster Mango.
Graboid Grape.

And for a buck extra,
you can keep
the souvenir glass.

Glows in the dark.
Right there.
Look at that.

Please enter access code,

or Level One
security program will be
activated in 10 seconds.

Nine seconds, eight seconds,
seven seconds, six seconds,
five seconds...

Mr. Jack thanks you
for your business.

I'd say we got pretty
lucky out there today.

Oh, absolutely.

Man, all we saw
was dust.

That's all
you want to see,
believe me, son.

Y'all stay on
the blacktop now

till you're clear out
of the valley.

Tell your friends about us.

Got to restock
the cooler here.

Um, by the way,
you didn't pay me for that
bag of ice this morning.

Yeah, well, you know,
I thought it was
complimentary ice.

I'm in business here, Jack.
Yeah, so am I.

And I've been thinking
you ought to sell me my
refreshments at wholesale.

Because?

It's a natural part of our
symbiotic relationship.

Oh, symbiotic relationship.
That's a good one, Jack.

You see, Jodi,
all things are related.

My business
brings business
to your business.

Probably like
an increase of about
approximately around 50%.

Actually,

22%, with questionable
sustainability.

Questionable
sustainability?

Do you have
a business plan?

I try not to
plan too much.

I trust in the ebb and
the flow of the universe.

You have to plan to be
a viable entity in today's
economic landscape.

See, me, I'm in phase three
of establishing my
product identity.

You know, L.L. Bean,
canoe-y, outdoorsy.

Land's End,
golf club-y, sailboat-y.

Oh, I see. I see. I see.
Chang's Market.

Is that, you know,
that, kind of desert-y,
underground monster-y?

Exactly.

All righty.

Well, I sure hope
nothing stops you from
becoming a viable entity

because I hate
when that happens.

Hey, I'm billing you
for that complimentary ice.

You know, I really
like this clay.

It doesn't crack
in the kiln,

but it is so expensive.

Oh, I can get 10% off
if you order 200 pounds.

Yeah, I can't even
afford that.

Hi, Jodi.
Hey, Mindy.

Can you give
these to Jack for me
when he comes in?

Oh, sure.
Just throw them
on the table.

Thanks.

Hey, Mindy.

I think Jack was
expecting you to
sew those pants,

not just stick
tape on them.

Mom, tape is
a total statement.

People like Jack and I
understand that.

Oh, I was into
safety pins, myself.

Hey, Burt.

Hey, Mindy. I thought
you were off at school.

Mom didn't tell you?

I had to drop out.
We couldn't
afford the tuition.

So, I'm back
working at the Arby's
down in Bixby,

and trying to
survive my mother.

Well, I hope things
work out.

Thanks.

Beer is inside.

There you go.
Watch your step.

Mr. Gummer?

Is that you?

It is, isn't it?

Ah, damn!

Real pleasure
to meet you, sir.
Jack Sawyer.

Listen, you know,
I've started up this
little tour business,

you know, kind of
an homage to you guys.

And I would be honored
if you'd consider being
a part of it.

Sign a few autographs,
maybe a little
weapons demonstration.

Mom,take a picture of me
with the tremor.

Oh, cute idea.

They're called graboids.

Hey, come on
over here, folks.

Look who I've got for you.
Come on down.

The legendary
Mr. Burt Gummer himself.

Mom, it's the gun guy.

Oh, it is.

Here, Milton.

Stand right here,
up straight.

You don't mind,
do you?

Straight, honey.
Nice and tall. Taller.

Say "graboids."
Graboids.

Oh, great. Thank you
so much, Mr. Goober.

Come on, honey.

You had that look
on your face.
What was that about?

Don't start, Mom.

They're out of
their gourd right now.

I've been listening
to my inner voice,

and it's telling me
you and I are destined
to work together.

So what do you think?

I think if I had
an inner voice,

it'd be telling me
to tell you to get lost.

Well, you know,
take your time.

Right,
you just think about it,
and get back to me now.

He'll come around.

Buford!

Get your head
out of your pants, boy.

I was just
looking at the scenery.

Drooling on yourself.
Now go on and set up
for the next group.

Well, you don't
have to be so mean.

Boy, you're about
as sharp as a bowling ball.

Oh, yeah, tough guy.

Hi, Mindy.

So, that skull was
ripped wide open, boy.

Eyeballs popping out.

Ugly!

Now as I said,
you're in the heart
of graboid country.

Yeah, you're right
in the heart of it.

Let me tell you
something, boys.

You're right in the
frigging heart of it!

Honey,did you see that?

Sweet Jesus! Look!

Uh-oh.

Having a little
engine trouble, folks.

Stay calm.
Stay calm.

Where is it?

If you just stick with Jack,
you'll make it back.

Hold on to your hats.

Help, help,
graboid attack.

This is what you
guys do all day?

I mean,
no offense, Buford,

but it's, like,
tragically lame.

Huh?

This is a good living.

I mean, especially compared
to what I was doing before.

Which was?

Well, I was

shoveling roadkill
for the county.

Okay, I get you.

But why is a guy like Jack

wasting his time
scamming yahoos with
this Scooby-Doo routine?

I mean, I bet there's
a zillion better things
a guy like that could do.

I bet he's nursing
a broken heart.

Or something
totally tragic.

I bet he's just dying
to talk to somebody
who understands him.

All right,
we got everybody now?

Damn, it's hot out here.

Anybody up for
an ice cold beer?

You know,
I couldn't help
but notice

that you're getting
awfully red out here
in the sun.

Do you have to
keep doing that?

When is this tour
going to be over, anyway?

You don't enjoy
my company, huh?

A man could take
offense at that.

What's that?

Help! Help!

Freeze!

Don't move.

Is he all right?

Come on,give me your hand!

What the hell?
This thing's
not even real!

Everybody, shut up!

Who's that?
Shut up and listen to her!

Who's that other guy?
ALL: Shut the hell up!

Okay, Jack's jeep
can outrun it,

but we have to
create a diversion,
some noise!

Everybody, grab something.
Here.

Like what?
Like anything.

Okay, we're going to
throw stuff out that way,

and then we're going
to pile in the jeep
and haul ass this way.

Got it? Okay.
On three.

One, two, three! Okay!

Move!

Hey, where's my camera?
You threw away my brand-new camera?

This time,
we're ready for you.

This shipment of graboid
has four tentacles
instead of three.

They look ridiculous.

Nobody is going
to buy them!

What the hell is that?

It's Burt's siren.

The graboid ladder?
It can't be real, Nancy.

Burt wouldn't
blow the siren unless
it was for real, come on.

Oh, God,
I hope Mindy's okay.

I hope she doesn't do
something stupid.

I'm not paying for them!

Well, if you ask me,

there's something very amateurish
about this whole operation.

I mean,
you take people into a
life-or-death situation,

and you don't even
have a real gun?

Are you even
licensed to do this?

Look, you wanted to see a graboid,
and you saw a graboid!

So I strongly advise you,
hit the highway

and don't stop
till you reach Seattle.

Well, I expect you
to pay for that camera!

Mindy! Thank God!
What's going on?

Mom, they're back.
We just made it out of there.

Graboids? Live ones?

Burt, we found one.

Son of a bitch
killed Buford.

I mean, just boom
and he was gone.

The thing is like
the size of a whale.

Yep, I've seen them.

Burt, is it okay?
Can we come down?

Yeah, come on down.
They're not close.

You check the
seismo-monitor I gave you?

Well, it's not working
very well.

I think the batteries
are dead or something.

Come on, Burt.
It's been, what,11 years?

Yeah, Burt here.
Talk to me.

Hey, Burt,
was that siren noise
for real, man?

Affirmative.

You on your roof?
Damn right,
I'm on my roof.

You check your
seismo-monitor?

Any graboid activity
near your ranch?

Burt, that aerial thing,
it got bent, man.

I've been
meaning to fix it.

Well, now it's all
hands on deck, Miguel.

So I suggest
you bug out ASAP,

maintain a steady speed
on your truck,

and report to
HQ at Chang's.You copy that?

The good news is
there's only three of them.

How do you know that?

A few years ago,
I installed a geophone

monitoring system
around the valley.

Data transmits to my laptop,
gets triangulated.

It's all based on Rhonda LeBeck's
geological research.

I sell all her books.

The comics were better.
Totally.

They're moving slowly
down from the north,
just like last time.

From Jasmer Quadrangle,

straight down the valley
into Calypso Quadrangle.

Huh?

I think
he means Cactus Flats.

Why can't he just say it?

So, what do we do?

Your little jungle boat
ride is over, mister.

Time to fish
or cut bait.

Yeah, yeah.
So what do we do?

Burt, excuse me,
but we're not cut off this time.

We don't have to act like
a bunch of militia nitwits.

We can call for help.

Nancy, since no one here
has bothered

to maintain or monitor
their seismic equipment,

we have no idea how long
the graboids been active,

and therefore, have no idea
when they may become
shriekers!

We can't wait for the authorities
to bumble into this.

We are the authorities.

So, what do we do?

We hunt them down.

We wipe them out.

We go at dawn.

These are perfect.

How many do you
have in stock?
Eleven.

Need to requisition
all of them.

Whoa! Requisition?

Does that mean
I'm getting reimbursed?
Not today.

How does this work?
Hunting them
with a toy truck?

Graboids hunt by sensing...

Sound. I know, I know.

So a graboid
hears the toy truck,

goes after it just like
a cat to catnip.

It's in the comic books.

The second he swallows it,
you detonate the explosive.

Boom! End of worm.

Explosive?

And where are we
going to get the explosive?

This, not being
an officially sanctioned event,

I've provided something
of my own design.

Don't worry about Burt.

He knows what he's doing.
It's, like, his thing.

Put these on my tab, okay?

Let's mount up and move out.
You don't have a tab!

Jack, I'm going with you.

No, you're not.

Yes, sir?

Good morning, Mr. Gummer.

Morning.

Agent Frank Statler.

My cousin, he already
went back to Mexico.

Hey, I've already filed
for my business license.

The right of the people
to keep and bear arms
shall not be infringed.

Hey, hey, hey.
Department of the Interior.

This gentleman is
Field Agent Rusk of the BLM,

and Dr. Andrew Merliss,
Director of Paleontology
at the Smithsonian.

Look, we don't have
time to chat.
We've got work to do.

Not if it's hunting
graboids, you don't.

I called them, Burt.

I've been
granted authority

to insure adherence
to Section 1 472-B of the
Endangered Species Act,

which specifically
guards the welfare

of large-class
desert reptilians.

I'm enforcing
an immediate ban

on all hunting of graboids
in Perfection Valley.

Those are my cattle
out there, pendejo.

Uh-huh.

MIGUEL: The BLM man
gave me permission

to kill anything that's
dangerous to my cattle.

El lobo, el coyote
and el graboid.

Well, your BLM man
reports to this BLM man,
who now reports to me.

And I'm here to tell you
there will be no more
killing of graboids.

Period.

So, we let them live
and we become
the endangered species.

You have been instrumental

in the eradication
of the oldest,
rarest species on Earth.

Not just once, but on
three separate occasions,
on two continents.

Defending lives
and property

as a guest of two
foreign governments.

Are you even aware
of the public outcry?

What public?
Not this public.

Look, our mandate
is quite simple.

To investigate,
trap and transport

at least one of these
creatures for study.

Trap and transport?

By the time you find out
that's impossible,

we'll be up to our
necks in shriekers.

If we discover that
there is a genuine
threat to public safety,

we're prepared to
evacuate Perfection Valley,
seal it off indefinitely.

Wait a minute!
You'd make us leave?

That's not why I called you.
I called you here to help us.

The government's gonna
offer fair compensation
for your property.

That's a given.

Eminent domain.

And people
call me paranoid.

I don't think
you're paranoid.

I do, but not no more.

Son of a bitch!

Call me Ishmael.

Now, if you would
kindly lean your
endangered carcass

over my property line,

I'll just call your
untimely demise
self-defense.

JODI:
Damn stupid graboids!

Can't afford to get
eminent domained out!

Every cent I have
is tied to this business!

Well, at least
you got a business.

Body language
says it all.

Does it say
I could use a cold beer?

What will it be?
Miller Lite.

Yeah, we still
don't have cell towers.

But you can use
the pay phone.

Outside, it's CBs
and walkie-talkies only.

Charming.

Listen, you guys
weren't serious

about making us
move out, were you?

Unless we can
catch one of them,
we may have no choice.

It kind of seems
like a small operation.

I mean,
to catch one whole graboid.

We don't have much
of a budget, you know?

It's not a high priority
in Washington, okay?

Yeah, but if you
did catch one,

I mean, you boys
would go home heroes, right?

Look good on a r�sum�.

And your point would be?

Just that the one guy
who knows more about
these things than anybody,

the one guy who could
actually help y'all out

is warming up the bench
'cause you took him out
of the game.

I didn't take him
out of the game.

May I remind you, Jack,

they are not your friends.
They are government agents.
Over.

Cut me some slack, Burt.

All I did was
a little negotiating.

You did what?
I cut us a deal.

We help catch
one live graboid,

they give you back
your hunting license.

Over.

Copy that. Roger.
One question.
Shoot.

Is your head
up your ass
for the warmth?

We thought
you'd be happy.

You want to get
eminent domained
out of here?

Catch a live graboid!

It's hard enough to kill one
without saturation bombing!

I told them, "Burt Gummer,
he'd come up with something."

These bastards are smart.

And the harder
you come at them,
the smarter they get!

Well, you're still here,
aren't you?
I'd say you're up to it.

So, Mr. Gummer,
what do you think?

Fish or cut bait.

You say you have some
sort of tranquilizer.

Yeah, we're using
tranq darts.

We got them to chase us,
but we couldn't get these
to penetrate the dirt.

I'm ordering titanium tips
and a more powerful
launch gun.

Of course,
you could squander
the taxpayers' money.

But I can get
a graboid to swallow this
with this for $49.95.

Then, if it goes to sleep,
you can dig it up and
take it back to Area 51,

or whatever fits your
plausible deniability.

I don't quite understand
what you just said,
but do we have a deal?

Do we have a deal?

Because we want to know
what we should do.

You guys do what
you do best!

Find something simple
and complicate it.

It's good
he expresses himself.

Repressed emotions
can be real toxic.

He needs counseling.

Get in!
Huh?

You got me into this.

All right!

Whoo!

Use the door!

MERLISS:
It's unbelievable!

Frank, Charlie.
It's unbelievable!
Unbelievable!

I was doing cores
out where they recorded

the earliest
graboid movements.
Uh-huh.

Voil�!

I hit this
on my third dig.

It's an egg.

I've proven
they come from eggs.

I've already
carbon-dated it.

The yolk remains
are current,

but the shell is over
300 years old.

The current graboids
must have come from these.

They lay dormant
for 300 years?

It appears so.

I need to use your phone.
I must call the museum.

I'll give you $50
for that.

Are you kidding?
It's going straight
to the Smithsonian!

All right, all right. $100.

Somebody getting married?

First, we make enough noise
to lure one in close.

Then, we use
the remote-controlled
truck as bait.

Damn feds.
I told them to butt out.

No. No, I think
that's somebody else.

Well, Burt.

Long time no see.

Looking good.
Hardcore as ever.

Melvin?
It's Mel, actually.

How come you never
answer our letters?

How come I got to drive
all the way out here?

"Perfection Valley
Ranchettes." That's you!

And you said I'd never
amount to anything.

Look, Burt, we're making
some really good deals here.

Between you and me,
you know,
'cause we're friends,

we're gonna offer you
twice what we're offering
the other people.

What the hell
are you doing?
You grew up here.

Exactly. I wouldn't wish
this place on anybody.

So, come on, Burt.
What do you say?

I say, "I'll give you
a 10-second head start."

People are folding, Burt.

And I got this whole
county in my pocket.

You can't hold out
forever.

I was born to hold out.

(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

Uh, Burt, is this bad?
This looks kind of bad here.

Is this bad? It's...

Graboid.
One of them spotted us.
Freeze. Everybody, quiet.

A graboid?
Quiet!

Are you kidding?
Shh!

For real?

Ah!

Burt, hang on!

Hang on, Burt! Burt!

Hey, Burt, hang on!
I'll get a rope, Burt!

Yeah.

Houston,
we have a problem.

Burt?
Affirmative.

Are you okay?

Not much time.
Only got limited air.
What's my 20?

Hold on. Hold on.

Well, you're about
a quarter mile west...

No, you better
make that east of me.

A couple of miles
from my place.
Engage the graboid.

What?

Drive like hell
and lead the bastard
through my front gate.

Copy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I copy. But...

Out of air. Burt out.

Burt! Burt, what do I do
when I get there?

What do I do?
Burt! Burt!

Come on, graboid-graboid.

Come on, baby, come on!

Come on, baby.

We are running
with the graboid.

Holy shit!

Head-on collision.

Burt!

Burt, are you down there?

Burt, hang on, hang on.
I'll be right there.

Hold on, Burt!
Hang on, buddy!

Come on, just breathe!

Just breathe!

Come on, baby!

Hang on, buddy!

Hang on!

Here we go.

Jack! That Melvin guy
said you got attacked!

What the hell
are you doing?

I'd prefer

we keep this

to ourselves.

Oh, you guys definitely
need to be supervised.

Burt here.
You read me? Come back.

Yo.

Come back.
Burt here. Come back!

Is that a graboid?

Yeah, but we should
be seeing two of them.

Have either of you
heard from the feds?

I can't raise them.
Not since this morning.

I guess they've gone
out of radio range, huh?

They were chasing
a graboid.

They were chasing it?
It wasn't chasing them?

I don't like that.

So, maybe they scared it.

Jesus. What is that?

Dr. Merliss,
what happened?

We found a graboid.

On the surface.

It was...
Hollow. Split open.

Yeah.
Split open. Split open.

Yes?

When we examined it...

The sound.

I heard this screaming.

And then
they were all around us.

So fast.

Rusk and Statler,

torn to pieces!

I hid in my van,
but they were
ripping it apart.

I remembered something.

Don't let them see
body heat.

So,

I sprayed myself.

It's cold.
It's so cold.

No, that was good.
That was good thinking.
Good thinking.

No.

Not entirely effective,
I'm afraid.

Nancy, Mindy.
Burt here. Come back.

Yeah, Burt.
We're up on Chang's roof.

Is the graboid
still sneaking
around somewhere?

We've got
a bigger problem now.

Squealers?
No, screechers.

Shriekers.
The government team
have all been killed.

Oh, my God!

Now listen carefully.
These sons of bitches
don't hunt by sound.

They see heat
with sensor organs on their heads.

You've got to hide
your body heat somehow.
Copy?

Hide our body heat?

Uh, Burt, we copy.

Can't track shriekers
with geophones,

so now I'm rigged
to download infrared satellite images.

Now, when shriekers
first emerge,

there are only
six of them.

If we can kill them
before they find food
and multiply,

we have a chance.

Okay, here we go,
here we go.

Preston Dry Lake.
Jeep trail.

And there we are.
That's our cars, right?
Reading the engine heat?

Right.

Bingo. We have a visual.

Two, four.
There's seven of them!

You mean
they're already making
more of themselves?

Yeah, they munched
on Statler and Rusk.

We better get moving.

I totally hate my life.

Damn, I still
don't see them.

How do you focus
these things?
Here, try these.

Hey, fellas.
Better get that
satellite thing again.

We got you covered.

MIGUEL:
That's it, right there.
BURT: Yeah.

Holy...
There's eight of them!

Eight?
What the hell are they eating?

Coyotes, lizards, snakes.
They don't care.

So this is
really serious?

I keep trying to
tell you people!
How far are your cattle?

God, if they get
to your herd,
we're in big trouble.

Hey, Burt, look.
Look there.

They're going into that
box canyon over there.

Come on.
There's only one
way out of there.

If we get there
before they leave...

I'm with you.
We just roll in and mop
those little devils up.

Graboid!

Go! Go!
Come on! Come on! Come on!

Miguel!
Oh, my...

Where the hell...

Es blanco.

Holy shit!

I've never seen one,
a live one.

Holy shit!

So, what do we do now?

Radio Nancy and Mindy
to call for some kind
of help.

Damn thing
tried to eat my jeep!

What the hell
is it thinking?

You left your engine running.
He went for the noise.

Haven't you read
the graboid comics?
It's all in there.

Freaking slug.
I owe money
on that thing.

Jack, you got your walkie?
It's in my jeep.

Where's yours?

On my hood.

Well, I guess
we just wait.

Darn! Man!

Are you remotely worried
that the shriekers might
get out

and go eat
Miguel's cattle

and, I don't know,
the rest of Nevada?

Absolutely.

But I do not dwell on that
over which I have no control.

That's great.
I have to do all the dwelling.

If you choose to.

You know what
I've found?

Most people prefer
your dramatic
cumulonimbus clouds.

But I've always had
a weakness for a cirrus.
Yeah.

Wispy and way up there,
you know?

I wouldn't know.

Well, don't you
ever look up?
I'm busy.

Too busy to look up?

Yeah, as a matter
of fact, I am.

I'm working for
myself here, all right?

You know, I could have
stayed in San Francisco,

parlayed my MBA
into a six-figure income.

But, hey!

I'm busting my ass
eking a living out here to
build something for myself.

I know it's not easy.

But I just think
you can enjoy yourself
while you eke.

Who says I'm not
enjoying myself?

You know what?
I don't have to
justify myself to you.

Foodmall?

Snake,
you said you were buying
all your supplies from me!

Well, see now,
I don't recall signing
any purchasing agreement.

It was a verbal commitment.
It was understood, okay?

In exchange for you
tying up my telephone
lines and my computer.

You were getting
free overhead, pal.

And, for your information,
I do enjoy myself.

I do.

Well, one bit of good news.
The shriekers are
still in the canyon.

It's got to be
the same one I saw
outside my house.

Albino, I think.

Yeah. We used to have
a female goat like that.

No kids.

Impossible.
Sterile, huh?

Maybe that's why
El Blanco hasn't turned
into Los Shriekers.

Son of a...

0500, on the dot.

Be sunrise soon.

In 37 minutes,
32 seconds.

Hey, Burt. Heads up.
What?

Whoa! Why, you...

Ooh!

You know,
he follows you, Burt.

I think he's got
a thing for you.

If I could reach
my Grizzly .50-caliber,
I'd have a thing for him.

Is that them?
It must be!

But I've never heard
them make a noise
like that before.

Like coyotes

with their kill.

They're still
in the canyon.

Can't afford
to wait anymore.

I've got to get
to my radio.

Wait, Burt! Try this.

I saw it on
a repeat of MacGyver.

Dental floss.
I always carry it.

(LAUGHS)

There. There, there.

Yeah. Come on. Come on.

There, you got it.
Yes!

Yeah.

Nancy! Mindy!
Burt here, come back!

Hey, Burt. What's up?

Look, we're pinned
down by this great,
white graboid

and we need an assist.

I want you to make
one hell of a racket
over the radio. Copy?

You want noise, Burt?
I copy that.

Honey, what's going on?

Burt just phoned in
a request.

Hey, he's going for it.

Here we go.

One more.

Uh-oh.

It's coming back.
Yep.

He's taken the bait.

Jodi, Jack, let's move it.

This is yours..308...
I don't know...

Four shots in the mag.
It won't bite you.

Jack, grab your Weatherby
and let's do this.

My Weather-what?
Your rifle.
In your gun rack.

The gun is not
real, Burt.

Borrowed it off
some movie guy.

Here. You do know
which end the bullets
come out of?

I've seen movies.

Here, you look cold.

Now, let's go bag
our limit of shriekers.

Come on.

Got to be right
around that bend.

What the...
Jeez.

What are they doing?
I do not know.

Let's tenderize them
a little.

I remember these babies.

Cover!

Holy shit!
He doesn't fool around.

Burt is very committed.

Come on, come on!
Let's hit them!

Check it out!

Vaporized them!
I mean, there's nothing left!

No, no, no.
We should see remains!

They wouldn't
just disintegrate!

How do you know?
I've blown them up before!

Hey.

It looks like
they shed some kind of
husk or skin, like a snake.

I don't like that.

Maybe they went
back underground.

Let's just go
find my truck.

Oh, Burt, I really
liked that truck.

JODI: Oh, man,
that's got to hurt.
It was new, wasn't it?

At least it died
for a good reason.

And my Grizzly Big Boar.

My sidearms.

Whoa!

My ammo.

Hey, something moved.

Over behind the fence.

(ROARING)

It's a shrieker?

Not no more, it's not.

In Mexico and Argentina,
we killed them

before they lived
more than about 1 2 hours.

This is what happens
when you don't?

So, what, they just keep
mutating like a virus?

I have no idea!

Hey, look!

That son-of-a-gun's
got the same heat sensor.

Tracking us.

It's not smart
to track Burt.

What's it doing now?

Hey!
What the...

Point, shoot!
Come on! Point, shoot!

No!

Oh, my God!

I should have
taken that shot.

Should have
shot sooner.

How could you know
it was going to take off
like a goddamn rocket?

Jack, give me
your walkie.

Nancy, Mindy?
Burt here. Come back.

Yeah, Burt. We're here.

Nancy, listen. They...

They killed Miguel.
He's gone.

Oh, my God, no!

What, Miguel? No!

Nancy? Jodi here.

Listen, those shrieker
things, they can fly now,
so get off the roof.

You're not safe
up there anymore. Copy?

Hurry!

Lock it! Lock it!

It's coming back!

What are you doing?
They can only see heat!

I'm not dumb, you know.

Come on,
into the meat locker!

Honey, I never thought
you were dumb.

An egg.

Graboid egg.

So it's a graboid,
to a shrieker,

to one of these
here new things

and finally back
to a graboid.

It would make sense,
biologically.

I guess they developed
the ability to fly

so they can carry the egg
as far as possible.

Whoa! Whoa!

Well, look at that.
Look at that right there.
Reacts with the air.

Smells like
a bad night of beans.

JODI: Some high-octane
stomach acid he's got there.

Extremely reactive,
almost like pure sodium.

Well, whatever it is,
they work it up there
in their ass, see...

Excuse me?

No, no, no.
That's how they blast off.

It's always something
new with these things.

Forget it,
you're both empty.

Empty?
Already?

You fired 10,
she fired four.
I'm empty, too.

Well, that's just great.
Great.

Look, my place is
three miles away.

We just have to
try to make it.

What, with these honkers
doing aerial recon?

We have to conceal
our body heat somehow.

All right.

Uh...

I can make
a dumb suggestion.

JODI: No, all I'm saying is
we discovered them, right?

So, we should name them.

Let me think.

Okay. Blast-Offers.

Or Butt-Launchers.
That's better, huh?

Oh, oh. Ass-Blasters!
How's that?

Sounds like
a porno film.

Listen!

Get down! Get down!

He didn't see us!
We're okay!

Lunch date?
Damn, El Blanco!

I'm sorry?
White graboid.
He's moving towards us.

Can't we get a break here?
Come on, come on. This way.

Beneath this ridge
is a solid granite
intrusion.

We'll follow it,
but El Blanco will
have to go around.

Granite intrusion?

I've memorized the geology
of most of the valley.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I've been meaning to
do that.

Give me your weapons
and make yourselves at home.

I'll see if Nancy and Mindy
got through to
the Air National Guard.

Whoa!

Lots of choices.

Nancy, Mindy.
Burt here. Come back.

Burt calling Nancy
and Mindy. Copy?

You know those
supplies I bought?

How about I let you
have them at cost?

Feeling guilty?

Nancy, Mindy.
Burt here. Come back.
Yeah.

But mostly,
I'm going to need
traveling money.

Burt calling Nancy
and Mindy. Copy?

You copy?

Burt here. Come back.
Nancy? Mindy?

Nancy? Mindy?
Talk to me. Burt here.

So you'll be
leaving, huh?

Can't run a business
where your customers
get eaten.

Guess not.

Nancy, Mindy, Burt here!
Come back!

Damn it!
Hope they got out okay.

Our old friend, El Blanco,
is finally coming this way.

Not to worry.

My perimeter is completely
graboid-proof.

But is it
Ass-Blaster-proof?

Oh! Oh!

Come on, come on!
I'll grab my weapon!

JACK: Come on, let's go!
Come on!

This way
into the safe room!

Come on!

Seal it!

What is all this? Food?
Better. MREs.

Most dense,
most nutritious food
known to man.

Okay. Okay, how long
can we wait it out in here?

Six, seven years,
depending on how well

you maintain your
dietary discipline.

Son of a bitch is
melting the door down.

Damn his butane,
butt-blasting ass.

Forget that! Here!

Escape tunnel!

Burt, I like you.
You should! Go on, go on!

Burt, what happens
if this thing
eats your food?

Ass-Blaster blitzkrieg.

Go on,
I'll take care of it.

JODI: Whoa!

Ow!

Trick or treat,
you son of a bitch!

Five gallons of unleaded.

Oh, man, you really
go the distance.

Oh, yeah,
I'm a masterpiece
of self-destruction.

Fire should reach
my stock of reloading
powder right about

now.

Come on, over here.
Go, go, go!

Ow!

Burt! Now what?

Burt, where have you been?

We've been trying
to raise you.

You won't believe it.
No, try me.

You know those
flying shriekers?
We've got one!

Well,
actually, it almost got us,
but you know how we got it?

Food!

It ate half the food
in the store!

If they eat enough,
they go into
a complete food coma!

No, no, no.
They multiply.

No, Burt, they don't!
Just feed it!
Give it all your MREs.

Burt, do you copy?

Burt?

Burt, do you copy?

Burt?

Uh...

Burt's not available
at the moment,

but thanks for
the update, Nancy.

What kind of supreme being
would condone such irony?

Well, there are
those who say,

"The marksman
aims at himself," Burt.

"Power of non-attachment."
So you need to tap into that
right now.

Jack, enough with the
Zen zingers, all right?

Burt. Maintain.

A lifetime of preparation
and I end up a refugee?

I hate to ask,
but have we gone
through all this

just to be eaten
by El Blanco?

The explosions
were so loud,

they'll have driven him
far away.

You really should
read the comics.

There's four more of them?

Nothing like a fire to attract
every heat-seeking meat-eater
in the valley.

We got to hide.

Where? I have no home!

Junkyard.

Junkyard!

Yeah.

We just got
to get that far.

The universe provides.

The universe
provides a boat?

And a blue tarp! Come on!

Get your heinies up here
before they see us!

Now move! Come on!

Get in!

Put it over yourself!

Come on! Cover! Cover!

Like I said,
just stick with Jack,
you're going to make it back.

Whoa!

No, go left.
No, no! Right!

Jack, Jack, go right!

Not that far!
Now go right!
Make up your mind!

What the heck...

The little turd.

We made it! Look!
Plenty of places to hide!

Wait.

It doesn't see us.

Calmly, get out of the boat.

And calmly,
just head for...

It sees us! Shit! Run!

Got you, Jodi!

It's coming!
It's coming!

Oh, my God!

It's right there.
I can hear it.
I hear it.

It's right there.
That's what I said.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah! Whoo!
That one's for Miguel!

About time
we got a break.

Uh-oh.

Here comes
the rest of them.

God!

Do you think they see us?
Do they know we're here?

No.

Yeah.

Cover. We got to find cover.
Hey, we can hide in these.

No.

There. There.
Come on, come on, come on.

Go, go, go!

God, no.
Can we hide over there?
No time!

Come on, come on.

Well...

Let's assess
the situation.

We're screwed.
We're screwed
in an outhouse?

If I'd have been able
to grab just one gun!
Even a single shot!

How long are we
stuck in here?

In a few minutes,
our combined body heat

will make this thing glow
like a furnace to them.

So, we run!
We just run like hell!

No, they fly.
We couldn't get
half a mile.

Okay. We can't stay,
can't go. Your turn.

We've got to fight them.

I mean,
they're not that smart.
They only see heat, right?

Yeah, and they light
their own farts.
How is this helping us?

No, wait.

They're full of
flammable chemicals.

Could we ignite them
somehow?

Get them to swallow
something hot?

How?
Stick them with
something hot, or a fire.

A flaming spear.

No, we can't get
that close to them.
They'd tear us to pieces.

I'd rather shoot them somehow.
If I just had my...

Burt, you don't have a gun.
Deal with it.

A potato gun!
A what?

A potato gun!
What?

What, didn't you ever
make one when
you were a kid, Burt?

Actually,
I converted my BB gun
to full auto by the age...

We made them
from an old pipe.

You seal up one end,
put in a few drops of
lighter fluid,

stick in the potato,
light the touchhole,

boom, potato will
go a hundred yards.

Only, instead of a potato,
we shoot a flaming arrow.

Why not?

I like it.

Yes! Now, of course,
we got to do some shopping.

We need to get us
some pipe, any size,

things for arrows,
rags to burn.

And then we're gonna need
something for gasoline.

Alcohol.

Man, this ain't
gonna be easy.

Wait, wait, I got
a line on flaming liquid.
You two go for parts.

You see any of these
Rocket-Butts nearby?
JODI: No.

No? All right, let's go.

Watch yourselves.

Oh, yeah.

Ha!

Ass-Blaster!
Blasted your own damn ass!

What the hell was that?

I killed one!
I did, I killed one!

Whoo!
Way to go, girl!

Don't get cocky!
That still leaves three!

I killed one.

Listen up.
It'll be dark soon.
How are we doing, people?

I got some pipes.
I got some rags.

Good work!

I need some arrows.

BURT: Let's meet over
at that yellow truck.

Okay, Nestor,
we need your help.

Yes!

Thanks, Nestor.

Jeez, Burt!

What's taking Jack
so long?
I don't know.

Jeez, Jack!

Is that enough?

That will do.

Now, look.

Let's move to that
mobile home.

It offers high ground
for a good line of fire.

Run!

Come on, Jodi!

Lock it!

Yeah, eat that!

Damn, girl!

Come on,
let's get to work.

An old friend, Nestor,
was killed in the first
graboid incursion.

His trailer ended up here.
He loved his shine.

Here, rip some of these.

Now, you've got
to seal up one end.

Also, you need to
make a touchhole
to light it.

I get the concept.

Any minute,
this guy's gonna kamikaze

through your roof
like he did before.

All right. All right,
I need a gun sight.

Anybody grab
any tape or wire?

Your earrings.
Your earrings!

Take them off.
Excellent.

Still don't have
a touchhole.

This has a little hole.
Will this work?

Yeah.

Armed and dangerous.

But do we have a lighter?
Burt does.

How do you know?

Well, you're Burt.

Damn right I am.

Oh, shit!
Another kamikaze run!

Whiskey down the barrel.
About a shot's worth.

Goes. He's up. He's up!

Open the door.

Door open!

There he is!

JODI: Now?
BURT: No, wait for it,
wait for it.

Now?
Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Now!

It worked!

Blew him away!
I mean, blew him...

Blew him away!

And that's why
we're at the top
of the food chain!

Two down and two to go!

Reload.

Whiskey.

I'll take that arrow.
Load it.

That will do it.

JACK: Get down!
Stay down! Stay down!

No, no, no!
I got an idea!
I got an idea!

Light the arrow,
we'll shoot it through
the other skylight.

Stay down, Burt!
Stay down!

Now what?
Spread your legs.

Excuse me?

Oh, I get it. Okay.

Okay.

Don't blame me if I miss
because I haven't had
any practice before.

Aim and shoot!
Okay, okay!

Whoo!

What the hell
did you do?
I shot him!

Burt!

Burt. Burt!

We should go
hunting sometime.

Uh-oh.

Here you go.
Here you go.

Oh, I think
he looks pissed!

Pissed but dumb.

Another sitting duck,
huh, Burt?

Never assume anything.

She's ready.

And...

Stand by to fire
at my command.

Light me.

No way!
I knew it!

Sons of bitches
are always on
a learning curve.

Load. Load!

Incoming!

Lighter.
I need a lighter.

(SCREAMS)

It's going to blow!
Into the back room, now!

Get in here!

Go, go, go, go!
Get in here, Burt!

Yuck!

Jeez!

Twenty-three hours,
59 minutes.

Mission completed.

Damn it!

How the hell does he
always know where I am?

The watch.
The ultrasonic signal.

Burt, are you okay?
I'm caught.

Burt, it's coming!
Get rid of the watch!

You're crazy.
Get out of here!

El Blanco, you want it?
Come get it, dude!

Here you go, buddy!
Knock yourself out!

My Leatherman.
My tool! In my pocket!

Here you go,
little buddy, now!

Right side,
bottom row, third pocket.

Yeah. Cut the springs
where my vest is snagged.

How the hell do you
open this thing?

Oh.

What is that?

All right.

Come on.

Jodi, hurry it up!
I'm working on it!

Wait.

Get out of here,
go on!
Shut up, Burt!

Come on.

Go on!

God Almighty!

Whoa!

Good throw.

I used to pitch
a little Single-A ball

till the old rotator cuff
started acting up.

Oh.

On the off-chance
El Blanco's coming back
for seconds,

want to get me
off this thing?

Yes.

Could you hold on
for just a minute?

They matched your offer.

Well, I'm sorry.
This is the world's
only living Ass-Blaster.

And I have a daughter
to put through school here.

I want a car.

Come on.

Could you hold a minute?

The Vegas guys
went even higher.

Should we do it?

Siegfried, Roy,
he's all yours.

Make sure you stay
behind the ropes.

Hey.
Hey.

Hitting the road,
Desert Jack?

Well, more like
Car Wash Jack.

I landed a job managing
that place down in Bixby.

The universe provides.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

So I guess you'll be
sticking around.

Yeah. Yeah, I like the area.
It has a lot to offer.

Hey, listen, I'm breaking in
my new rear axle. You want to

go for a little ride?

Oh, I'm restocking.

Nice clouds out there.

I can see the clouds
from here.

Yeah, but these...
See, these are the good ones.

Well...

(LAUGHS)

Mindy, can you
watch the store?

It figures.

Older women.

Buenas tardes,
se�or Blanco.

That's it,
just follow the car.

Burt!

Hey, nice wheels.

I've been
expecting you, Melvin.

You are one persistent
little money-grubber.

Come on, Burt.
Look around, man.
There's nothing here.

I'm going to turn
this into something.

I'm gonna build
homes for families.

The smart thing
for you to do, Burt,
is cash in right now.

You might want to join me, Melvin.
Why?

It's safer up here.

Jesus Christ, Burt!

I thought you killed
all those things!
I never said that.

God, man!
Kill it! Blow it up!

What are you
waiting for, Burt?

The thing is

as long as one of
these reptilians
is still alive,

this whole area
is deemed protected.

You know,
pursuant to Section 1 472-B

of the Endangered
Species Act?

In other words, no houses,
no condos and no ranchettes.

You're crazy. Okay?
These things, man,
they're going to...

They're going
to eat you, Burt.

They're going to get
all of you.

We got new geophones,
graboid barriers,
blanket protection.

The whole town agrees.

Between you and El Blanco,
they'll take him every time.

Adi�s, Melvin!

Burt! Hey!

Burt!

Burt!

Burt! You asshole!

You dumb son of a bitch!

God! I hate you!

I hate your guts!

You sorry, sick, paranoid,
right-wing, redneck psycho!

Shit-kicker!
God damn you, Burt!

And I hate that hat!