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1
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,800
Christina Walters?
2
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:32,000
God, I haven't heard that name in ages.
3
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:36,900
The kind of woman who
can get any guy she wants,
That's Christina Walters.
4
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:41,600
We dated briefly, but she's
not the commitment type.
5
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,300
She's a player. She
just likes to have fun.
6
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,700
I met Christina at a
bar. Hot piece of ass.
7
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:52,800
Totally hit it off. All night
long we dance. I buy her drinks.
8
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:56,100
At the end of the
night, she just splits.
9
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,600
I lay down all that
groundwork for nothing.
10
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,600
She gave me her number.
It's been three days.
11
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:07,800
I saw Swingers. I know
how these things work.
Hello, and welcome to AOL Moviefone,
12
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:12,700
I stay up nights trying to figure out
why she said she'd call and didn't.
13
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,400
Maybe she wanted to call and that's
why she said she was going to call, but�
14
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,800
Prolonged impotence is
very common after a breakup.
15
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,900
Lots of men suffer from it.
16
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,500
They just don't talk about it. Not
like me, gabbing away. Gab, gab.
17
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,400
But, even still, because she
said she was going to call�
18
00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:39,500
she should've called to
say she wasn't going to call�
19
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,600
and I would've thanked her for calling�
All right. Okay .
20
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:49,400
At least I don't get that dizzy,
head-spinning nausea as much as I used to.
Hooray!
21
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:55,300
Like I said, I'm doing fine.
22
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,900
I am
fan-fucking-tastic.
23
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,200
- Christina.
- Valerie!
24
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,600
Shake it if you've got it.
25
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,100
Miss Courtney.
26
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,800
Hello, Miss Christina. How
you doing? What you doing?
27
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:41,600
Dancing too much. How you doing?
Same thing. How was your day?
28
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,300
Pretty good.
29
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:47,000
I got a new account designing
a campaign for a sports line.
30
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,800
They got the right girl, didn't they?
31
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,500
Thank you.
32
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:57,500
So, what's up?
The usual. Defending the rights
of my broken-hearted clients.
33
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,100
Trying to squeeze every penny out
of their miserable, cheating spouses.
34
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,300
You go get them, woman,
35
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,200
I'll order a pizza and stay in tonight.
36
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,300
Okay, but if we do that, you
know what will have to happen.
37
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:14,400
Girl, I've been shaking my
ass all the way up this hill.
38
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,900
Which track?
Track three. Oh, yeah!
39
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,800
Koochie!
40
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:38,100
Is your granny here? What's going on?
41
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,800
It's Jane. She loves this song.
42
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,300
- Hola, chica.
- Como esta?
43
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,400
Jane, what's up?
44
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,400
He dumped me.
45
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,800
Kevin dumped me.
46
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:58,000
It was just three days before
our one-year anniversary.
47
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:01,300
- Baby.
- Maybe he just freaked out.
48
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:05,800
He will call up tomorrow when he
realizes what a huge mistake he made.
49
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,300
- He's probably going through that whole�
- No.
50
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:11,200
He says he's been wanting
this for six months.
51
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:15,800
He says he's been dying inside ever
since I brought over my garment bag.
52
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,700
- Honey.
- What?
53
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:24,000
We're all guilty of it. You
made yourself too available.
54
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:29,400
It's a classic mistake, sweetheart.
- Yeah.
- Not according to this.
55
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,800
"Commandment four."
56
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,000
"True Love: The Ten Commandments."
57
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,200
"Commandment number four: Thou shalt
be open to love's possibilities.
58
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,900
"Boundaries are the enemies of love."
59
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:46,200
Sweetie, you know what? This
book is relationship propaganda.
60
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,000
Listen to me.
61
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:52,000
Dating is all about boundaries.
62
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:57,500
Honey, you have to protect yourself.
We've all had our heart
stomped on one too many times�
63
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,100
because we served it to
them on a big old platter.
64
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,200
A good defence is the best offence.
65
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,400
I am so tired of playing games.
66
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:10,000
This is not about playing games.
This is about self-preservation.
67
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,100
You can't throw yourself out there
all exposed and vulnerable every time.
68
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,800
That is how you get smacked down.
Do you understand?
69
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:22,400
Don't go looking for Mr.
Right. Look for Mr. Right Now.
70
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:26,700
And, eventually, if he's
worthy, then one day�
71
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:31,500
that "now" part is
just going to drop away.
72
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:36,400
Naturally, you know?
Meanwhile, you're just
going to have fun together.
73
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:40,100
Yeah. Not so serious.
Shake it off a little bit.
74
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,400
Speaking of fun, we are
going to take you out.
75
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:50,000
We are taking you out. You
are going to have a good time.
No.
76
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,900
Oswaldo!
77
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,100
Hey, Christina. Courtney.
78
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,600
- Jane.
- Hello, Jane.
79
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,100
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
80
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,300
Shut up!
81
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,700
- Right here, baby.
- Oh, my God.
82
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000
They can have her.
83
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:51,500
Look at the shoulder, baby. Bounce
it, baby. Check it out, baby.
84
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,800
What's your name, baby?
85
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,500
Here we go. Circle of
love, circle of love!
86
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,900
We're going to go now.
87
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,300
Bye-bye.
88
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:27,400
My God. It's like Siegfried & Roy
or something.
89
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,300
Martinis, ladies.
90
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,700
- Compliments of the gentleman at the bar.
- Which one?
91
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,200
Thank you, Leather Coat Guy.
92
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,700
Cheers.
93
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,300
Leather Coat Guy is looking good.
94
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,000
Shotgun!
95
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,200
Cheater.
96
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,500
What's up?
97
00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:59,700
Nothing. What's up with you?
98
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:01,800
Nothing.
99
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,900
What's up with you?
100
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,500
Nothing. What's up with you?
101
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,700
Nothing.
102
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:12,800
You know, I am having the best time.
103
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:13,300
Are you, sweetie?
104
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:17,900
My boyfriend dumped me. I'm at this
club where no one wants to talk to me.
105
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,400
- I want to go home.
- No.
106
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,400
No. Christina, I can't do this.
107
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,200
Yes, you can. It's really very easy.
108
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,000
Observe.
109
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,300
I just pinched his ass.
I'm sorry. Hi.
110
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,000
- Hi. What's your name?
- Peter.
111
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,800
Peter, this is my friend,
Jane. Jane would love to dance.
112
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:47,000
I don't mean to be rude, but I
have some friends waiting for me.
113
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,300
Nice to meet you, though.
114
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,000
- He hated me. I suck.
- You don't suck. That guy was a dick.
115
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,000
I'll make sure that you have fun
tonight if it's the last thing�
116
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,100
What did you call me?
117
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,500
You just called me a dick.
I heard you. Why am I a dick?
118
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:12,000
Because I didn't like the
way you treated my friend.
I didn't do anything to your friend.
119
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,100
You barely gave her the time of day.
120
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:18,800
You tried to pawn me off on
her and I didn't go for it.
121
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,200
You should be so lucky to even talk
to someone as hot and sweet as Jane.
122
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:28,500
Excuse me.
I wasn't suggesting you get married.
I just thought you could get it on.
123
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,800
What? Get it on?
124
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:34,000
You know nothing about me. What
if I'm some psycho serial killer?
125
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,200
What if Jane was the girl of your
dreams, but you'll never know?
126
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,200
That is the sweetest thing.
127
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,300
I never thought I'd meet her by
having somebody grab me and say:
128
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,800
"Man, I have good woman for
you. She is very hot and sweet.
129
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,400
"Jane! Dance for the man!"
130
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,700
- Maybe that's your problem.
- What?
131
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,900
Maybe if you didn't play
it so safe, Mr. Safety-Poo�
132
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,300
you might meet a girl
you could have fun with.
133
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:02,200
This brilliant love advice comes from
one who loves to play games with men.
134
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:06,200
Always in control. That way,
she never has to get too close.
135
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,500
Nice manners, by the way.
136
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,600
Where the hell did that guy� Jane?
137
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,300
What's up with you?
138
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,400
Nothing. What's up with you?
139
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,000
I can't believe you grabbed his ass.
140
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,700
He comes right into my face and starts
telling me all this stupid stuff�
141
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:35,400
about how I like to play games and
be in control so I never get too close.
142
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,500
Can you believe him?
143
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,700
- What?
- Nothing.
144
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:44,900
- I've never seen you act like this before.
- Act like what?
They're fake.
145
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,400
All bah-jiggity about some guy.
146
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:51,300
- Bah-jiggity?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare.
147
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,900
It's cool. It's why I got them.
148
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:58,100
- I'm not bah-jiggity.
- You are so bah-jiggity.
They look real.
149
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:01,500
Thank you. You can
touch it if you want to.
No.
150
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:05,300
- Touch it. She likes it.
- Go ahead. It feels real, huh?
151
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:05,600
If I'm bah-jiggity about this guy Peter,
it's because you're telling me I am.
152
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,300
- Oh, my God.
- What?
153
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:16,200
You've named the puppy.
- I did not.
- You just called him Peter.
154
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,300
- I did?
- You've got to feel these things.
155
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,400
I'm psychic and I knew
his name was Peter.
156
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,700
- Knock your socks off.
- So soft.
157
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,900
Un-fucking-believable.
158
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,300
Fuck.
159
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,300
I am so getting a pair.
160
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,300
That's why chicks always
go to the bathroom together.
161
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:39,400
It's so obvious that you like this guy.
Why are you being such a pussy about it?
162
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,900
Why are you making such
a big deal out of it?
163
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:45,700
If you haven't noticed, there's
plenty of guys out there.
164
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,600
See you later.
165
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,000
- What's your problem?
- What's your problem?
166
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,200
- Hi.
- Hi.
167
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,500
Hey, Peter.
168
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,000
- Eric!
- Be right there.
169
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,600
You don't have to do this.
170
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,200
I know, but I want to. I spilled
your drink. Can I buy you another one?
Okay.
171
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,800
I want to apologize.
172
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,700
I shouldn't have been impolite to your
friend. If I was, I didn't mean to.
173
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:30,400
My brother is waiting for me and I
got nervous, I guess. I don't know.
174
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,800
I mean, otherwise, I'd
be all over your friend.
175
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,400
I'm the one who should
apologize. I was rude.
176
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:42,700
No, I understand. You were protecting
your friend. Anyone would've done that.
177
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,900
I thought that was sweet.
178
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,700
Jesus.
179
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,900
- We good now?
- Yeah.
Good.
180
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,900
I should get back to my friends.
181
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,000
Okay.
182
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:03,200
Thanks for the drink.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
183
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,400
- Have a good night.
- You, too.
184
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:19,900
Can you take this? I'm a total loser.
I just struck out with this guy.
One more thing.
185
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:24,900
Should I be upset that my ex-girlfriend
has her tongue down that guy's throat?
186
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,400
Oh, my God!
187
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,400
- Jane!
- I guess I blew my chance.
188
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,100
- That could have been you.
- If I wasn't such a dick.
189
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:37,700
- Was I really a dick?
- Yeah. You were a dick.
190
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:42,300
We should start over. Why don't I
walk by, and you grab me like before?
191
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,600
- I didn't grab you.
- You grabbed me.
You grabbed me right on the ass.
192
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,400
I don't grab, okay?
193
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,500
Pete!
194
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,500
Excuse me.
195
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,900
Dude! Where you been?
Everybody's waiting.
196
00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:01,200
After-hours party back at the
hotel. These two pigs are good to go.
197
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,600
Did I mention that we have
the Freddie Mercury Suite?
198
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,100
She puked on him!
199
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:12,200
Again? God, she's like a
hose. Go help her, please.
200
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:13,700
Or not.
201
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,100
She's out. We're one
short. Who's this chick?
202
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,800
- She is hot. Bring her.
- What?
203
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,500
Fuck me. You have so much�
204
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,700
You've got to come. Let me tell you why.
205
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:30,400
You'll never find anyone better
than my brother. He is the greatest�
206
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,600
That hurts me. Just look at him.
207
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:36,600
Chicks freak on this guy. Come on, now.
208
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,900
He is the shit and that's why
he's in my wedding on Saturday.
209
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,500
- No.
- Yes.
210
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,000
- No.
- Just trying to help out.
211
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,300
'Bye!'
212
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:53,400
Ladies, big party. Four Seasons, room
402. You're invited, you're invited.
213
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,500
All right, I'm leaving.
214
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,300
- That's my brother.
- He's special.
215
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,200
Careful, that's puke. Don't touch me.
216
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,200
When is the wedding?
217
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:08,800
Saturday afternoon up in
Somerset. That's where we live.
That's nice.
218
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600
Peter! It's looking like now.
219
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,000
You're pinching my arm skin.
220
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,800
I better go. But for real this time.
221
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:23,600
- It was nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you. I had a great time.
Me, too.
222
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,100
Come by the party if you want to.
223
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,400
- Really?
- Definitely. If you want to.
224
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,000
I'll ask my friends.
Maybe we'll stop by.
225
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,500
I really hope I see you. But in case
I don't see you, have a nice life.
226
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,800
You, too.
227
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:51,400
Chris, it's Court. I'm at the
party with Leather Coat Guy,
228
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,400
I was checking in to see if you
were listening to your messages,
229
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:59,000
If you are, that means you were
too chicken shit to hook up with Peter�
230
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:03,900
which therefore means you are a loser.
You are a loser. A l�
231
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,800
Thanks, Court.
232
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,900
"I'm a big loser."
233
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:12,600
What's up, you bitches
and hos and losers?
234
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,200
Too late now.
235
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,200
He was kind of cute.
236
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,600
Funny.
237
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,000
Really funny.
238
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,600
Cute boy.
239
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,800
My God, you're so good at that.
240
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,300
I'd like to do that every hour, on
the hour, for the rest of our lives.
241
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,600
- Of course, go ahead.
- Thank you.
242
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:25,600
Don't worry about returning the
favor. Men don't really like oral sex.
Right.
243
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:29,500
I'm serious. It's just a bad rumor
that was started sometime in the '50s.
244
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,900
I had no idea. I need
to tell all my friends.
245
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:37,100
Please, do. Someone needs to
put an end to this madness.
246
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,100
God, I'm so glad I came
back to the hotel room.
247
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,300
Me, too.
248
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,900
I never thought I'd see you again.
249
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:57,900
- Room service.
- Right on time.
250
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:01,000
- Ice cream?
- Only the best for our VIPs.
251
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:05,200
I had them remove all
the calories for you.
252
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,300
You are good.
253
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,100
All right!
254
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,000
I said I wanted to do it to you every
hour, on the hour, but I can't wait.
255
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,200
Can I do it again now?
256
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:18,900
Okay.
257
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:08,500
San Francisco, California, please,
for Four Seasons Hotel. Thanks.
258
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,500
Great dream.
259
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:20,900
Yes, hi. Do you have a
Freddie Mercury Suite?
260
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,600
Good. Can I have it? Thanks.
261
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,100
Really?
262
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:30,900
Already?
263
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,700
Have a great day. Thanks. Bye.
264
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,300
What am I even calling for?
265
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,400
Hello? Hey, Court.
266
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,200
Yeah.
267
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,700
- Stop talking shit about me.
- Where you been?
268
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:16,200
Sorry I'm late. I don't want to talk
about it. You ready? I'm starving.
269
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:21,200
I'll meet you there. I have to drop
something off at the dry cleaners.
270
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:24,500
Can it wait, please?
I'm so hungry right now.
271
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:28,900
Isn't that Courtney's dress
that you borrowed last night?
Yeah.
272
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,600
Why are you bringing it in?
Did you get something on it?
273
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,600
I'm trying to be a good girlfriend.
274
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,200
- I'm really sorry.
- You slut!
275
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,100
- Is that what I think it is?
- Guilty!
276
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,100
I'll take it to the dry cleaners,
and it will be gone.
277
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,000
- That's a lot!
- He was holding a lot!
278
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,300
My God! What's this on your skirt?
279
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,100
I am scared enough as it is to go
in there. What am I going to say?
280
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:59,700
"Mr. Martin, can you
help me with my jizz?"
281
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,700
You know what?
282
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,800
- You guys suck.
- No, obviously you suck.
283
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,800
- You suck.
- You suck well. I'm proud.
284
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,500
No spanky-wanky.
285
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,900
Hey, Jane.
286
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,500
- Hi, Mr. Martin.
- How's your mother?
287
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:50,500
- Great. She's good. Everyone's good.
- Your grandmother?
288
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,400
- Everyone's great.
- That's fine. That's fine.
289
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,800
What you got for me today?
290
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,500
Just a dress, but I'll be back
for it in a few days, so no hurry.
291
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:02,100
- Any stains?
- No.
292
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,100
- What's this?
- What?
293
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,000
This. Come here.
294
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,500
Stain?
295
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,000
This is going to be a tough one.
296
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:19,100
I didn't even notice that. I must have
spilled some soda on me last night.
297
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:23,600
No. This is not soda.
Think, Jane. Think.
298
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:27,900
If I know what it is, it's
easier for me to remove.
299
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:34,700
The field trip. Come
in, children. Come in.
300
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:40,600
- Fuck.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Franklin.
Hi, Mr. Martin.
301
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:46,500
On today's field trip, we are
going to learn about cleanliness.
302
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:50,900
Jane?
303
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,100
Jane Burns!
304
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:58,100
Sweetheart, I haven't seen you
since I taught you in third grade!
305
00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:06,000
- Top of the morning there, Mr. Martin.
- Hello, Father Flynn.
306
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,900
As I live and breathe, isn't it�
It is little Mary Jane Burns!
307
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,300
What a coincidence! I'm having
supper with your parents tonight.
308
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:20,500
What a stain you got
there, little Janie!
309
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:25,800
So how was it? Was it fun?
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I didn't tell you this.
310
00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:30,200
Apparently, one of the guys who
was at the party flipped out�
311
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,100
was out on the balcony,
screaming at the top of his lungs:
312
00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:39,500
"Christina! Has anyone
seen my little Christina?"
313
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:44,900
Then he jumps off and dies because
you're a pussy. Why didn't you go?
314
00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:49,400
I don't know! I was going to. I was.
I was going to, and then I wasn't.
315
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,800
And then I called him at the hotel�
316
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,100
Wait. Hold on. Rewind for one
second. You called him at the hotel?
317
00:23:57,700 --> 00:24:01,500
- What did he say?
- Nothing. He said nothing. Okay?
318
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:06,500
- Why?
- He checked out already.
Let's just sum this up real quickly.
319
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,700
In the bathroom, we hate
him, yet we call him by name.
320
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,300
Then we throw beer on him.
321
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,600
Then we laugh and we flirt
and we dance with him.
322
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:21,800
Then we casually call him at the hotel.
Then we obsess about the casual call.
323
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,000
Obsess? I'm not obsessing, okay?
324
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:30,200
Could all this erratic behavior be
because this guy got under your skin?
325
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,200
- No.
- That you might really like him?
326
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,200
That you regret not going because
you'll never know what might've happened?
327
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,200
No, I don't regret it,
and if I had any regrets�
328
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,700
it would be this conversation,
right now, having it with you.
329
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,700
- Can we drop it?
- Okay. Sorry I brought it up.
I won't mention it again.
330
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,600
Even if I did regret
not going to the party�
331
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,200
it's not like I can do
anything about it now.
332
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,900
Sometimes you just have to
let these things go, right?
333
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,000
- Exactly.
- Although�
334
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,800
if there was regret�
335
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,000
I suppose there's always
something you could do about it.
336
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:16,400
You could show up at his brother's
wedding, because it is his brother.
337
00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:19,500
But that's only if you regretted
it, which I don't regret it.
338
00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:23,500
I just don't regret it.
Regret is such a waste of time.
339
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:27,200
Honey will you just admit that
you regret not going to this party.
340
00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:30,600
- Okay, fine I regret not going to this party.
- You need to let it go.
341
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,400
I'm letting it go. I'm over it.
342
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:36,800
Hi, honey, how did it go?
343
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,300
- Fine. No problem.
- Good.
344
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,000
Did we have fun last night?
345
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,600
Yes, I did. It was great.
346
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,800
You guys were right, a
transition guy is what I needed.
Good.
347
00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:54,800
So how was he, was he good?
He was very sweet and complimentary.
348
00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:59,800
And very into pleasing me first.
So how was girth?
349
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,200
Averag-ish.
350
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:05,800
"Averag-ish." That's good.
So what did you tell him?
351
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:08,300
What do you mean?
352
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,500
What do we always tell
them, no matter what?
353
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:20,000
Oh, my God, your penis is so big.
354
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:21,900
Good girl.
355
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,000
Your penis is so thick.
356
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,800
Your penis is just so pretty.
357
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,300
You got a handsome dick!
358
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:40,000
Your penis, it's so�
359
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:42,900
hard.
360
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,600
Your penis is just so large.
361
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:50,100
My body is a movie�
362
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:54,500
and your penis is the star!
363
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,900
You're too big to fit in here.
364
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:04,100
Too big to fit in here.
365
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:06,800
Too big to fit in here.
366
00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:18,500
"You're too big to fit in here"
367
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,300
Oh, my God.
368
00:27:24,300 --> 00:27:27,400
Oh, my God, it's Fame!
We're in Fame right now.
369
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,700
"What a lovely ride
370
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,700
"Your penis is a thrill
371
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,800
"Your penis is a Cadillac
372
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,600
A giant Coup de Ville
373
00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:50,400
"Your penis packs a wallop
Your penis brings a load
374
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,000
"And when it makes a delivery
It needs its own zip code
375
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,400
- "Nine"
- "Double zero"
"Penis"
376
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,900
"You're too big to fit in here"
377
00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:11,500
"Your penis is so strong
Your penis is so smooth"
378
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,100
- "Your penis has got a rhythm"
- "Your penis makes me groove"
379
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:19,600
- "Your penis is a dream"
- "The biggest one I've seen"
380
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,900
"It's oozy and it's green"
381
00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:24,800
Sorry.
382
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:29,400
"You're too big to fit in here"
383
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,600
"You're too big to fit in here"
384
00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:45,900
"Your penis is so big
Your penis is so thick"
385
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,800
"Your penis is so pretty
You got a handsome dick"
386
00:28:50,100 --> 00:28:53,900
"Your penis is so hard
Your penis is so large"
387
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:58,300
- "My body is a movie"
- "And your penis is the star"
388
00:28:58,500 --> 00:29:00,900
"Starring your penis"
389
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:05,700
"You're too big to fit in here"
390
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,100
- Come on.
- How much time we got?
391
00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:52,900
We've got three hours before
the rehearsal. Hit the ball.
392
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,900
- Good shot.
- Fore!
393
00:29:56,100 --> 00:29:59,400
I'll shove that club up
your ass, you dick licker!
394
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,600
- What are you up by, two?
- I guess.
395
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,300
It doesn't get any better than this.
- To the marriage.
- To the marriage.
396
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,200
- To the bride.
- To the bride.
397
00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:13,700
To 50 years with the same woman.
398
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,500
That's really depressing.
399
00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:19,200
Sorry.
400
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:21,500
Saggy tits.
401
00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:25,000
Be able to use them as a belt by then.
402
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,400
- Or just tuck them in her socks.
- Okay.
403
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:34,800
God, this marriage is such a big
leap. It's really intense, Pete.
404
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,400
- But if it's the right woman�
- I guess.
405
00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:43,200
Get up a little. Yes. Fore!
406
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:47,200
You motherfuckers! Stop bothering me!
407
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,800
You're driving right into them.
408
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,700
I hear John is still AWOL
from that bachelor party.
409
00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:57,500
He showed up, missing an eyebrow, with
a tattoo on his ass that says "Bitch."
410
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,600
- I am not an animal!
- Very good.
411
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaking of bitches�
412
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:08,500
what was going on with you
at the club with that hottie?
413
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:13,500
- Nothing.
- I mean, Jesus!
I don't know what you're talking about.
414
00:31:13,700 --> 00:31:18,400
- I think you liked her.
- No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did. Don't lie to me.
415
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,100
Don't lie. Don't lie to Darth, Luke.
416
00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:30,400
I could see it in your
eyes you liked her.
417
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,300
Nothing I can do about it now.
418
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:40,800
Should have poked her in the
whiskers when you had the chance.
What's that, Gramps?
419
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,900
I met this hot young dish�
420
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:47,700
at the World's Fair back in 1940.
421
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:52,300
Every moment with her was
like a slice of heaven.
422
00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:55,200
I bet you really miss Grandma.
423
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,900
Fuck Grandma.
424
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,900
It's Pearl I'm talking about.
425
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:06,500
She was the love of my life. Don't
ever let these moments pass you by.
426
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,400
Fucking Grandma.
427
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:15,500
Be nice.
428
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,800
Come on. 7-6.
429
00:32:23,700 --> 00:32:25,100
Fore!
430
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:46,200
You suck!
431
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,100
Damn it!
432
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:51,600
- But you smell so minty fresh now.
- What do you want?
433
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:54,600
I need to borrow your black Gucci bag.
434
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,300
It's in the living room.
435
00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:01,100
I don't know where in the living room,
and I don't feel like looking for it.
436
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,700
Will you help me find it,
please? Come on, please.
437
00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:07,900
Since I'm up now, and
you decided to torture me�
438
00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:09,600
I'll go and get it.
439
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,000
I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Excuse me.
440
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:17,600
Can you tell me where the bathroom is?
441
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,900
- Behind you.
- Over here?
442
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:26,700
Thanks.
443
00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:28,300
Oh, my�
444
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,100
cock.
445
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,900
Oh, my cock.
446
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,500
Do you have any Advil?
447
00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:48,600
He is so cute. So stupid.
448
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,800
Can I get that purse now, please?
449
00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:57,100
Yes, you can have the purse.
450
00:33:57,700 --> 00:33:59,300
Here's the purse.
451
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,300
Thank you very much.
452
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:09,200
- Where are you going?
- You and I are going to a wedding.
453
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:14,700
- What wedding? Who's getting married?
- We're going to Peter's brother's wedding.
Peter?
454
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,100
This Somerset place where they
live is some small freak-ass town�
455
00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:22,700
three hours north, so we have to get
on the road now to make it on time.
456
00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:24,400
- Peter.
- What?
457
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,000
I'm not going to Peter's
brother's wedding!
458
00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:32,800
What are you talking about? Yesterday,
you said you wanted to go, so I went�
459
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:36,700
- I was joking.
- No, you weren't.
460
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,300
Yes, I was.
461
00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:43,500
Fifty percent of what people
say when they're joking is true.
462
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,800
Which means you do want to go,
but you're too afraid to admit it.
463
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:51,600
So by making some sort of joke about
it, you get to say what you really want�
464
00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:55,600
without being vulnerable.
- Right?
- Maybe.
465
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:59,600
Okay. The wedding starts at
5:00. I refuse to be late.
466
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,600
Put some clothes on. Now! Thank you.
467
00:35:03,900 --> 00:35:06,300
- That was a nice one.
- Thanks.
468
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,200
- Watch the road, sweetie!
- I am watching the road.
469
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,700
Once we get off the 140�
470
00:35:25,900 --> 00:35:29,600
we'll take the 95, get
off on the Somerset exit.
471
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,500
We'll drive around and we should
find the church, no problem.
Ta-da!
472
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:41,800
- What is that?
- What is what?
473
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,500
- You don't smell that?
- What? I don't smell anything.
474
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,900
- You're used to it. That's what's scary.
- I don't smell anything.
475
00:35:49,100 --> 00:35:52,800
It smells like mouldy ass, is
what it smells like in here.
476
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Come to think of it, I did
leave some ass in the back.
477
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:02,100
- You did?
- About a week ago.
It must be the ass. No, no. Sit down.
478
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:13,600
- What are you doing?
- Jesus, Courtney.
What is all this crap?
479
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,800
Don't throw out anything I might need.
480
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,300
Where is it coming from?
Where? I can still smell it.
481
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:26,000
Maybe it's you. Did something
crawl up your poon-nonny?
482
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,400
I have never, ever had any complaints
in the poon-nonny odor department.
483
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:35,900
- You know what? Neither have I.
- High five on the clean poon-nonny.
484
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,300
Bitch.
485
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:40,400
What?
486
00:36:40,900 --> 00:36:44,000
- What is this?
- What is what?
What is this?
487
00:36:44,100 --> 00:36:48,800
Jesus, I don't know. I don't
know how long it's been in here.
What is in here?
488
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,100
No! That is not okay.
489
00:36:57,300 --> 00:37:00,900
It isn't okay. You are a disgusting,
nasty pig. Do you understand?
490
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,600
There was maggots on that flesh.
491
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,300
I got maggot juice all over me.
492
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:15,700
Ladies' room.
493
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,800
Ladies' room.
494
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,400
- Someone's in here.
- Sorry.
495
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,900
- It might be a while.
- How long?
496
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:30,200
Let me put it to you this way:
I had lamb curry last night
and I'm shitting out a Buick.
497
00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:34,600
Was it absolutely vital
for her to tell us that?
498
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,800
Was it absolutely vital
for her to tell us that?
499
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,000
Hello?
500
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,600
Clear?
501
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:50,400
I feel like I have maggots all over me.
502
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,400
Don't move. You have
a maggot right here.
503
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:57,400
Stop it.
504
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,300
I'm going to pee my pants.
505
00:38:00,900 --> 00:38:02,900
I'll just use the urinal.
506
00:38:04,700 --> 00:38:10,000
You want to hear some poetry?
"There once was a man from Bandoo
Who fell asleep in a canoe"
507
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:15,700
"He dreamed of Venus
And played with his penis"
"And woke up with a handful of goo"
508
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,800
Don't make me laugh!
509
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,900
Darn it. I think I peed on myself.
510
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:25,500
"Follow the yellow brick road"?
511
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:31,200
I'm following the yellow brick
road. Follow the yellow brick road.
512
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:39,100
Buffy! You look like my old
doggie Buffy. Hello, girl.
513
00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:45,200
- Oh, my God, it's on my hands!
- Good girl. What you got in here?
514
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,300
What you got? What's in your mouth?
515
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,100
What you got in there?
516
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,000
What's in there?
517
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,700
Surprise!
518
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:10,600
Goddamn it.
519
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,000
How could you not know
what's a glory hole is?
520
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,400
Unlike my whore friend
Courtney Rockliffe�
521
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,400
I don't usually spend much
time in men's public bathrooms.
522
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:25,100
Goddamn. That is the funniest thing
I have ever seen in my entire life.
523
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:30,600
I flew across that room. And
you got fucked in the eye.
524
00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:34,900
I'm glad you find it so
fucking amusing. I really do.
525
00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:39,100
Could you please have some
compassion? Because I could go blind.
526
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,400
You're not going to go blind.
527
00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:45,900
- Let me look at it.
- I mean, I got a penis in my eye.
528
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,700
Let me see. Let me see.
529
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:54,500
All right.
- Is it okay?
- Yeah, it's okay.
530
00:39:56,500 --> 00:40:01,200
But I think you're pregnant.
Would you please stop it, already?
531
00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:07,100
Re-dress the mannequins and
check the sock inventory.
532
00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:10,500
Come on, it's Saturday and
nobody's here, and Mr. Mooney�
533
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:14,700
Mr. Mooney is off sailing with his boy
toy, which leaves me in charge of the store.
534
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,100
Somebody needs to get some.
535
00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:30,200
There's my dirty girl!
536
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,200
It's me, baby. It's me.
537
00:40:37,100 --> 00:40:41,900
- Why are you dressed like that?
- It's my job. I work at a children's hospital.
538
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,000
You look so cute.
539
00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:52,000
- I'm horny.
- Me too.
540
00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:01,100
- You'll laugh at this one.
- What?
541
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,100
You know I said I had to do laundry today,
because I ran out of clean underwear?
542
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,300
- I've only got the skanky ones left.
- Tell me about it, dude.
543
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,800
You are so unbelievable.
544
00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:19,900
Is that what I think it is?
545
00:41:20,300 --> 00:41:24,500
- Spring break, 1994, baby.
- Turn it up.
546
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,800
- Oh, my God! Brain.
- Jane!
547
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,100
You and I are so awesome together.
548
00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:08,600
We're like two peas in a pod.
- Like oil and vinegar�
- Shut up.
549
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,400
I can't believe I'm
fucking a purple elephant.
550
00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:15,800
What do you mean, she's not
here? We have customers, missy.
551
00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:18,600
Sorry, Mr. Mooney. I'll check upstairs.
552
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,200
I'm gone for one day, the
place turns into Indonesia.
553
00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:26,300
Jane?
554
00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:33,300
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
555
00:42:33,500 --> 00:42:35,800
- What is going on?
- Nothing.
556
00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:40,200
I'm frantic. I've a million things
to do. And I'm dizzy. I'm so dizzy.
557
00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:43,700
Mr. Mooney is downstairs,
and he is P-I-S-E-D.
558
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,200
"Pised"?
559
00:42:56,500 --> 00:43:00,100
- Where have you been?
- I was upstairs taking inventory.
560
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:02,400
Yeah, my aunt Fanny.
561
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,500
- Gallini's.
-Hello, is Jane there?
562
00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:09,600
- Yes, she is.
-Have a lovely day,
563
00:43:12,100 --> 00:43:14,100
- Hello?
-Janie!
564
00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:20,800
Sorry, I can't talk right
now. I'm really busy.
We were wondering:
565
00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:28,700
Shit.
566
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,600
Oh, shit.
567
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,900
I dropped the thingy to my lip
gloss. Could you get it for me?
568
00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:55,500
I'll get it.
569
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,300
It's too far over. I'll get it.
570
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,100
Hold on to it. Keep steering.
571
00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:05,200
I got it. Don't worry.
572
00:44:07,100 --> 00:44:08,500
Beneath the�
573
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:21,700
Yeah, baby!
574
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,000
- Oh, yeah, right there.
- No, that's not it.
575
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,100
You like that?
576
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,600
Yeah. Let me have some of that.
577
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:42,000
- Oh, yeah. Don't stop.
- I'm not going to stop.
578
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,500
I found it. I almost
got smothered down there.
579
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,000
Shit.
580
00:45:14,100 --> 00:45:15,500
Are you okay?
581
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,800
- You good?
- Yeah, I'm good. Never better.
582
00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:25,400
Let's get on the same page
about what we'll say. Game plan.
583
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,800
Walk up to him and be
like,"Peter, is that you?"
584
00:45:30,100 --> 00:45:34,700
"My friend Courtney, that hot babe?"She
and I went to college with the bride.
585
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,700
"That is unbelievable. I can't
believe that. It's unbelievable.
586
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,200
"Freaky."
587
00:46:11,700 --> 00:46:13,500
Afternoon.
588
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,000
- Miss Vera's has plenty to offer us.
- Plenty of crap.
589
00:46:23,300 --> 00:46:26,500
- We don't have time for this.
- Okay, let's go.
590
00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:31,600
- Welcome to my store. Can I help you?
- No, we were just browsing. Thank you.
591
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:39,900
You don't like my store, do you?
No, that's not it at all.
It's really a lovely store.
592
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,600
We were looking for something�
593
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,800
The next dress store
is 20 miles from here.
594
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,500
20 miles away?
595
00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:53,300
- We'll miss the wedding.
- Judy Webb's wedding?
596
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,700
I know all about it.
I dressed half the guests!
597
00:46:57,100 --> 00:46:59,200
When I was 22�
598
00:46:59,700 --> 00:47:03,100
my breast(ice)s were,
like, right about there.
599
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,500
Nice and perky.
600
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:08,500
Gravity has taken them to there.
601
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,700
It's like, 22, 28.
602
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:14,900
22, 28.
603
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:17,300
Buy some new ones.
604
00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:22,400
Okay, wait. No, no. Look. What is this?
605
00:47:24,700 --> 00:47:29,500
- What is that, though?
- That, again, is gravity.
606
00:47:30,900 --> 00:47:34,200
- Knock, knock. Are you decent?
- Yeah.
607
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,700
You're going to love this
stuff. It's our latest line.
608
00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:41,900
If you need other sizes, just holler.
609
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,600
Thank you, Vera.
610
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:46,700
Excellent.
611
00:47:47,500 --> 00:47:48,900
Jesus.
612
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,900
- Look.
- That's nice.
613
00:47:52,100 --> 00:47:56,700
Wait a minute. Do we have
time for a movie montage?
614
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,000
Well, you know�
615
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,000
- Thank you so much.
- You look sensational.
616
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,200
Thanks to your styling, Vera.
Thank you.
617
00:49:08,300 --> 00:49:13,300
Would you like to be
on our mailing list?
Sure. Right here?
618
00:49:18,700 --> 00:49:20,900
Just send it there.
619
00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:23,400
That's sweet.
620
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,600
It sure is. Thank you. Bye.
621
00:49:27,900 --> 00:49:31,700
- We've got to go.
- Oh, my God. I can't walk in this thing.
622
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:34,200
- Take little steps.
- Bondage.
623
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,700
We don't have time, sweetie.
624
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:39,900
My God!
625
00:49:42,700 --> 00:49:44,000
Oh, my God.
626
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,200
These are the days of our lives.
627
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:52,600
- This is not discreet.
- No, it isn't.
628
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:57,000
- We can't walk into a wedding�
- Come on. It's very LaToya Jackson.
629
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,600
I mean, really. Look at all this�
630
00:50:01,700 --> 00:50:05,300
I may as well strap a sign
on my ass that says "stalker."
631
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:10,900
I'm not going there wearing this
outfit. Can we please just go?
632
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,500
- Yes. Let's go home.
- Really?
633
00:50:15,300 --> 00:50:19,000
We've driven for three and
a half hours and everything.
634
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,500
- But, no, let's go.
- Please.
635
00:50:21,700 --> 00:50:25,500
- Really. Let's go.
- Don't reverse-psychology me right now.
636
00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:27,300
I'm not reverse-psychologing you.
637
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,200
You're so good at it, you don't
know you're doing it anymore.
638
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:33,400
All right, maybe a little bit.
639
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:37,900
- Court, this is crazy. Really crazy.
- What the hell were we thinking?
640
00:50:38,500 --> 00:50:43,700
I wish there were some sign from God�
that you and Peter
Donahue should be together.
641
00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:46,900
How do you know his
last name is Donahue?
642
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,700
Because you're sitting on his face.
643
00:50:52,700 --> 00:50:57,500
- My God, it's him! He's so cute!
- Yeah, I know.
Cute? He's adorable!
644
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,700
And look at this."Everything
he touches turns to sold."
645
00:51:00,900 --> 00:51:04,400
- He's funny! He's funny, too. See?
- I know.
646
00:51:07,900 --> 00:51:09,300
Church bells.
647
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:38,700
What do you think?
Bride or groom's side?
I have to go to the bathroom, I think.
648
00:51:38,900 --> 00:51:43,500
- Did you misplace your bladder today?
- I'm wearing the tightest skirt ever.
649
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,200
Go to the bathroom. I'll find seats.
650
00:51:46,700 --> 00:51:50,700
- Could you tell me where the restroom is?
- It's right outside.
651
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:01,800
Hello?
652
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:03,800
Loo!
653
00:52:07,900 --> 00:52:09,900
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I can't breathe.
654
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,800
Really? Okay. Just breathe,
stay calm, you'll be okay.
655
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:16,000
Are you okay?
656
00:52:16,900 --> 00:52:19,800
- You'll be fine. You'll be okay.
- Water!
657
00:52:22,100 --> 00:52:23,100
Okay.
658
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:27,500
- Thank you.
- I'll leave you alone for a second, okay?
659
00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:31,500
- Judy!
- In a minute, Dad.
660
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,300
I don't want to go in the deep end!
661
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:45,200
Flowers!
662
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,000
I look like a magazine bride!
663
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:54,000
No, you don't. You look really
beautiful. Like the perfect bride.
664
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,200
Why don't I feel good?
665
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,900
I'm sure that you're just really
nervous. It's a big day, right?
666
00:53:01,300 --> 00:53:03,900
It's what every girl dreams of, but�
667
00:53:04,900 --> 00:53:07,000
how do you know it's real?
668
00:53:07,700 --> 00:53:11,200
I don't know. I can't
answer that for you, really.
669
00:53:11,700 --> 00:53:15,400
But I'm sure the two of you
will be really happy together.
670
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,600
And if you're not, you can
always just get divorced.
671
00:53:20,700 --> 00:53:23,300
- Yeah!
- Yeah, see? It'll be okay.
672
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,300
Right. You're so right.
673
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,000
So just get yourself
together. You look smashing.
674
00:53:29,300 --> 00:53:31,300
- I look beautiful!
- You look amazing!
675
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:34,400
- I look beautiful.
- You do. Amazing.
676
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:37,900
- Now, get off my dress.
- I'm sorry.
677
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,800
I'm getting married!
678
00:53:47,100 --> 00:53:48,200
Hi.
679
00:54:04,300 --> 00:54:07,200
- I bet you miss Grandma.
- Grandma.
680
00:54:10,300 --> 00:54:11,700
Where is she?
681
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:28,900
Turn around.
682
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,400
It's Jesus. Look, it's Jesus.
683
00:54:44,900 --> 00:54:47,600
Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.
684
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,700
Okay, boys. We're on.
685
00:54:56,700 --> 00:54:59,600
- All right. Straight?
- Big moment.
686
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:04,100
- You look nice, too.
- Don't stress.
A little slap. Slap me.
687
00:55:05,500 --> 00:55:10,000
Don't be gay in God's house. Give
me a hit. Thank you. Let's do it.
688
00:55:13,900 --> 00:55:15,200
Shit.
689
00:55:26,100 --> 00:55:27,200
Chris?
690
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,300
- I'm okay.
- My God! Honey, are you okay?
691
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:35,000
- What are you doing?
- I got locked in.
692
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,200
- You all right?
- Yeah.
693
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:40,800
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
694
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:45,100
We don't have to lie anymore because
I made friends with the bride.
695
00:55:50,100 --> 00:55:53,100
No. You cannot lock
the door. Goddamn it!
696
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,100
Hello!
697
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,000
Oh, please, God.
698
00:56:06,100 --> 00:56:07,700
Suki, suki!
699
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,600
It's already started.
700
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,500
I bet you miss Grandma.
701
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:30,700
Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today�
702
00:56:31,700 --> 00:56:34,300
to celebrate the holy matrimony�
703
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:37,100
of Judith Katherine Webb�
704
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,800
and Peter Donahue.
705
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,300
Peter?
706
00:56:43,300 --> 00:56:45,300
Jesus Christ!
707
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,600
Peter? Shit!
708
00:56:49,900 --> 00:56:51,200
She did it.
709
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:58,800
This isn't the Glickman
bar mitzvah, is it?
710
00:57:00,300 --> 00:57:03,900
- Moishe, are you here? No?
- Come on, Sharon, let's go.
711
00:57:03,900 --> 00:57:06,700
Mazel tov.
- Christina?
- The hottie.
712
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,000
Shalom!
713
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:18,200
That's the strangest
thing I've ever seen.
There are no Jews in Somerset.
714
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,400
Shit. Shit. Shit.
715
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,500
- Shall we proceed?
- Sure.
716
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,800
Dearly beloved�
717
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:34,600
we are gathered here today�
718
00:57:35,300 --> 00:57:38,600
to celebrate the holy matrimony�
719
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:43,900
of Judith Katherine
Webb and Peter Donahue.
720
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:50,600
Which is an honorable estate�
721
00:57:51,300 --> 00:57:54,400
instituted of God, signifying�
722
00:57:54,700 --> 00:57:56,800
unto us the mystical union�
723
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:59,500
that is between Christ�
724
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,000
and�
- Peter.
725
00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:03,500
Saint�
726
00:58:08,700 --> 00:58:11,500
- I'm having reservations.
- Where?
727
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,400
And is commanded�
728
00:58:13,500 --> 00:58:16,000
About this.
- Really?
- Yeah.
729
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,800
of Saint Paul�
- Me too.
- Really?
730
00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:24,400
Yep.
731
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:32,300
And therefore, is not
by any to be entered�
732
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:36,200
- I mean, I love you.
- But I'm not in love with you.
733
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,000
lightly.
734
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,200
Anymore!
735
00:58:40,100 --> 00:58:43,500
- You're ruining it.
- But�
We're still friends.
736
00:58:46,100 --> 00:58:49,400
- I don't want to get married.
737
00:58:50,300 --> 00:58:53,900
No. No kiss. I haven't married you yet.
738
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:57,300
We're not getting married!
739
00:58:59,900 --> 00:59:01,100
Miguel?
740
00:59:03,100 --> 00:59:04,100
Dad!
741
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:08,900
But we are having the party. Exit
in the back. It's to the left.
742
00:59:36,300 --> 00:59:40,200
- How you doing?
- Okay. Are you okay?
Yeah, no. I'm okay.
743
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,900
- You owe me $30,000 for this wedding.
- Daddy, please.
744
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:46,800
- You know what I'm thinking of doing?
- What's that?
745
00:59:46,900 --> 00:59:51,500
I'll cash in the honeymoon tickets,
fly to Bali, and go scuba diving.
746
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:55,200
- I'll rip your face off, peckerhead.
- Daddy, stop.
747
00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:57,400
- Sweetie?
- Yes?
748
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:01,300
- I have a confession to make.
- I have a confession to make. You're dead.
749
01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:04,700
Dad. I met someone.
750
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:07,400
- You met someone.
- Online.
751
01:00:07,700 --> 01:00:08,800
Online.
752
01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:18,700
His name is Ricky.
I think he's really special.
Fuck it! It's go time! Son of a bitch!
753
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:21,100
Daddy, stop it!
754
01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:39,700
Refresh my memory. Was that
Peter's wedding we walked in on?
755
01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:45,100
- Yeah.
- That's what I thought.
756
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,500
I'm such an idiot.
757
01:00:52,100 --> 01:00:53,600
No, you're not.
758
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,400
I meet a guy for two minutes�
759
01:00:56,600 --> 01:01:01,000
and I'm chasing after him
like he's something special.
760
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,400
Maybe you want someone special for once.
761
01:01:08,700 --> 01:01:12,300
Maybe you were thinking that
you were tired of the game.
762
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,500
Are you tired of the game?
763
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:22,600
Yep.
764
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,300
Let's go home.
765
01:01:28,100 --> 01:01:29,100
Okay.
766
01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:48,800
My God! What's going on?
767
01:01:49,300 --> 01:01:51,000
Excuse me, Officer?
768
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,200
What's going on here?
769
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:57,400
Twenty years on the force and I've
never seen something so horrible.
770
01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:01,700
- What? Where?
- Where's the emergency?
Apartment three.
771
01:02:02,500 --> 01:02:04,800
- That's my apartment!
- Jane.
772
01:02:07,100 --> 01:02:09,400
Poor girl. Never saw it coming.
773
01:02:10,100 --> 01:02:11,800
Excuse me.
774
01:02:13,100 --> 01:02:17,500
- Goddamn dress!
- Don't go in. It's not a pretty sight.
I live here!
775
01:02:26,900 --> 01:02:30,100
- Apparently, they're stuck.
- What do you mean?
776
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:32,800
Are you okay?
777
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,600
How are you stuck?
778
01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:38,600
I have a piercing.
779
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:43,200
- I don't get it. How is she stuck?
- Behind her tonsils.
780
01:02:43,300 --> 01:02:49,000
How the hell do you know that?
- Honey, I'm going to pull you gently.
- No.
781
01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:52,100
I'm going to pull it. Gently.
782
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,200
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
783
01:02:56,500 --> 01:03:00,600
We've got the ambulance waiting
outside. We have to get going.
784
01:03:00,900 --> 01:03:02,400
No, wait!
785
01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:06,600
She could sing. You could sing,
Jane. It relaxes the throat, honey.
786
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:17,500
Stop it! You're getting me hard again!
787
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:19,600
Wrong song.
788
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:21,900
Armageddon.
789
01:03:39,700 --> 01:03:41,100
Come on, try.
790
01:04:45,500 --> 01:04:46,600
What?
791
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,400
Three weeks later
792
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:55,100
She says to him,
"Girl You Know It's True changed my life."
793
01:04:55,300 --> 01:04:56,700
It did!
794
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,200
And this sad little tear slowly�
795
01:04:59,300 --> 01:05:03,300
Come on. What do you want
from me? I was 16 years old.
796
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:07,500
I don't know why I started
talking to her in the second grade.
797
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,800
- You thought I was the shit.
- You are the shit.
798
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:12,400
Shithead.
799
01:05:12,500 --> 01:05:14,900
- My God.
- What?
800
01:05:15,700 --> 01:05:19,300
They found a donor for my patient.
I've got to go. I'm sorry, guys.
801
01:05:19,700 --> 01:05:22,700
- Christina, it was great meeting you.
- Nice to meet you, Greg.
802
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,700
- Jane, it was great meeting you.
- Great meeting you.
803
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:29,800
So sorry to run off. I'll
make you risotto tomorrow.
It's fine.
804
01:05:34,100 --> 01:05:37,400
- Can I just say, that was so sweet?
- He's great.
805
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:39,900
- He's so sweet.
- Shut up.
806
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:42,700
He doesn't have any piercings, does he?
807
01:05:44,300 --> 01:05:50,700
I don't know, actually�
because I haven't
done that with him yet.
808
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:54,900
- So, you know�
- Honey, you really do like him.
809
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:58,600
I don't want to talk about
it, because I'll jinx it.
810
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:02,400
- I closed on the Mahalock house today.
- Great news for you.
You don't need to do a thing.
811
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:06,800
- What did they say about aluminum siding?
- No.
812
01:07:07,700 --> 01:07:09,400
- Really?
- Really.
813
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,800
Be careful with those fat-free
chips. They cause anal leakage.
814
01:07:13,100 --> 01:07:16,300
- You cause anal leakage.
- Says so on the bag.
815
01:07:26,500 --> 01:07:31,000
What kind of marketing brainiac
puts "anal leakage" on his product?
816
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:37,300
How can they even sell that crap?
- What time is your flight?
- 9:30.
817
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:44,100
I can't believe you're
going to Costa Rica.
Your female problems are over with.
818
01:07:45,100 --> 01:07:46,700
- Hope so.
- They are.
819
01:07:46,700 --> 01:07:49,700
You know what I hear
about Costa Rican women?
820
01:07:49,700 --> 01:07:51,300
- For five pesos�
- No, Rog.
821
01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:54,500
They take your chimichanga
and your pequito�
822
01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:56,900
- No, senor.
- Listen to me!
823
01:07:56,900 --> 01:07:58,100
Fuck you.
824
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:02,200
All I'm saying is, make nice
with the concierge, okay?
825
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:07,600
- You all right, Vera?
- Couldn't be better.
826
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:16,200
- Thank you so much.
- Where do you want it?
Put her down right here.
827
01:08:16,500 --> 01:08:20,000
Since you're going away, do you
want to be on our mailing list?
828
01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:22,800
Yes, ma'am. I'd love to. Thank you.
829
01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:29,500
I've been trying to get us off
that mailing list since 1982.
Relax.
830
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:34,500
This is the hottest chick in this
store and I caught her trying to escape.
831
01:08:56,700 --> 01:08:58,400
Very strange.
832
01:09:04,700 --> 01:09:08,000
Sweetie, Christina, what's
going on? What happened?
833
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:13,700
I came to just eat my cookie
and make a phone call, but�
834
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:17,000
You didn't want to
eat the cookies? What?
835
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,200
- Just read this.
- All right.
836
01:09:21,500 --> 01:09:25,200
"Commandment number nine: Thou
shalt love what's possible."
837
01:09:26,900 --> 01:09:29,200
Honey, we have gone over this.
838
01:09:29,500 --> 01:09:32,500
You did not know the
guy was getting married.
839
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:38,900
It's all right. He wasn't possible.
Not that one. The next
one. Commandment ten.
840
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:43,300
- "Thou shalt not fear"?
- Yes. "Thou shalt not fear."
841
01:09:43,500 --> 01:09:48,300
What are you talking about, fear?
What you did was an
incredibly brave thing.
842
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:52,800
You dropped all of your boundaries
and you met this guy halfway.
843
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,000
More than halfway, you went to Somerset.
844
01:09:56,100 --> 01:09:59,300
Guys, it was just another game. Come on.
845
01:09:59,900 --> 01:10:04,400
If he hadn't been getting married,
wasn't the groom, what would I've done?
846
01:10:05,900 --> 01:10:07,300
That's right.
847
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:13,400
I would've done the same old thing.
I would have hesitated. I would have�
848
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:19,700
froze up. I would have
kissed him and then ran off.
849
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:23,800
Give him the wrong phone number.
850
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:28,300
Hook that fish and just
throw him right back.
851
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:30,700
Jesus.
852
01:10:34,900 --> 01:10:36,600
I'm stuck in a rut.
853
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:44,400
Big, fat rut.
854
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:49,100
Guys, I don't want to
be that girl anymore.
855
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,600
- I know.
- You know?
856
01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:54,700
I know. None of us do.
857
01:10:58,700 --> 01:11:00,400
Let's go dancing.
858
01:11:05,100 --> 01:11:06,600
So, any chance?
859
01:11:06,900 --> 01:11:10,300
Of what? No, don't even
bother. She's on a mission.
860
01:11:22,300 --> 01:11:25,300
- How is it shaking, ladies?
- No, thank you.
861
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:28,000
Your body is banging. Your face is�
862
01:11:28,100 --> 01:11:30,000
Neat. Thanks. Neat.
863
01:11:36,100 --> 01:11:38,200
What's going on, hot mama?
864
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:45,300
Bringing it down. Bringing it up now!
865
01:11:49,100 --> 01:11:55,200
Here it comes, baby. Feel
the monkey. Work the monkey.
The monkey, the monkey, the monkey!
866
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,800
- You're working that monkey.
- You're a really good dancer.
867
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:08,100
- You have some original moves.
- Thanks, I've been working on it.
868
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:11,700
- Have we met before?
- A couple of times.
869
01:12:11,900 --> 01:12:13,200
I'm Donny.
870
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:21,700
Christina.
This is like Sixteen Candles.
871
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:29,500
I'd love to take you out sometime.
Really? Well, that's nice. I mean�
872
01:12:30,700 --> 01:12:33,600
Give me your card,
I'll call you sometime.
873
01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:36,100
Thank you.
874
01:12:36,500 --> 01:12:39,000
You seem like a really nice person.
875
01:12:39,100 --> 01:12:42,400
- Work on the monkey.
- I'll work on the monkey.
876
01:13:10,900 --> 01:13:12,300
Hey, Donny.
877
01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:15,500
- Do you have a pen?
- You bet.
878
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:24,700
I'm a jerk and I wanted to apologize,
because I didn't plan on calling you.
879
01:13:24,700 --> 01:13:27,900
I'll give you my number
so that you can call me�
880
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:33,200
because I found out something
that was completely life-changing:
881
01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:36,100
It's okay to take a chance.
882
01:13:36,300 --> 01:13:40,100
Love is crazy and that's what
love is, it's taking a chance.
883
01:13:41,200 --> 01:13:45,600
My girlfriend Courtney and I
went on this crazy ride for a guy.
884
01:13:45,900 --> 01:13:50,600
I went across the state, practically,
to find this guy that I don't even know.
885
01:13:50,700 --> 01:13:54,600
I don't even know you, but here I
am, having this conversation with you.
886
01:13:54,900 --> 01:13:59,200
And I know that if I just take a
chance with you, maybe, I don't know�
887
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:01,200
Forget it.
888
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:04,600
What's a guy got to do to get laid?
889
01:14:43,900 --> 01:14:45,600
- Chris?
- Yeah?
890
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:46,900
Honey?
891
01:14:49,700 --> 01:14:50,700
What?
892
01:14:54,500 --> 01:14:55,800
My God.
893
01:14:59,100 --> 01:15:01,000
What am I going to do?
894
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:04,400
I think you can handle
this one on your own.
895
01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:06,500
It's all good, girl.
896
01:15:08,500 --> 01:15:11,500
Figure this one out.
Figure it out. Okay.
897
01:15:17,700 --> 01:15:19,000
Christina?
898
01:15:20,700 --> 01:15:22,700
What are you doing here?
899
01:15:22,700 --> 01:15:26,000
- I came here to apologize to you.
- For what?
900
01:15:26,200 --> 01:15:29,200
For not telling you
I was getting married.
901
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:32,200
I should have told you that
and I didn't. I'm sorry.
902
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:37,700
You're the guy that needs the
last fling before your wedding.
No. I'm not that guy.
903
01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:43,100
You spilled my drink and I let you buy
me a beer. That was all there was to it.
904
01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:48,200
We had fun, we talked and that was it.
905
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:50,300
Right?
906
01:15:52,300 --> 01:15:54,400
Yeah, I guess you're right.
907
01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:57,200
I didn't get married.
908
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:06,100
- What do you mean?
- Judy and I, we called it off.
909
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:14,000
I hope my� That thing that happened
didn't have anything to do with it.
910
01:16:14,200 --> 01:16:16,700
No, it had nothing to do with that.
911
01:16:16,900 --> 01:16:21,600
We realized we were doing the wrong
thing. Two people should be in love.
912
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:26,100
But Judy is happy. She's
scuba diving in Bali.
913
01:16:26,300 --> 01:16:30,000
She really liked you, too.
Why were you at my wedding?
914
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:37,000
It was just one of those spontaneous
things my girlfriend and I do.
915
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:39,700
It was just, really�
916
01:16:41,100 --> 01:16:43,000
It just got screwed up.
917
01:16:47,900 --> 01:16:51,100
I came here tonight
because I wanted to see you.
918
01:16:51,300 --> 01:16:53,800
I thought that maybe�
919
01:16:55,500 --> 01:16:57,700
Well, that night that we met�
920
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:02,800
I thought there was something,
some feeling I had about us.
921
01:17:04,100 --> 01:17:08,600
I thought that maybe you
might feel that way, too.
922
01:17:08,900 --> 01:17:12,100
Is this a mutual thing?
This is not a mutual thing at all.
923
01:17:12,400 --> 01:17:14,700
This is a very stupid thing. I'm stupid.
924
01:17:14,900 --> 01:17:17,900
I should go. I really
apologize for wasting your time.
925
01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:21,300
And I'll go jump off the
Golden Gate Bridge now.
926
01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:25,100
Thanks. See you. I'm
stupid. That's right.
927
01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:29,200
That's exactly what I wanted to do.
928
01:17:31,900 --> 01:17:34,200
Yes. Gosh, it's going so well.
929
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:58,500
I'm not going to be afraid.
930
01:18:04,900 --> 01:18:06,000
Peter?
931
01:18:09,500 --> 01:18:12,200
Shit. Peter, wait!
932
01:18:24,300 --> 01:18:25,600
Shit.
933
01:18:43,100 --> 01:18:44,300
Come on!
934
01:18:46,200 --> 01:18:47,800
Are you okay?
935
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:49,500
Yes.
936
01:18:52,100 --> 01:18:57,600
I don't think I handled that too�
I didn't handle it at all. I'm so sorry.
937
01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:01,600
I wanted to find you so
that I could tell you�
938
01:19:02,200 --> 01:19:06,000
that I did come to your wedding
because I wanted to see you again�
939
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:10,100
because the feeling is mutual,
and you better be a good kisser.
940
01:19:24,300 --> 01:19:25,800
That was weak.
941
01:19:26,700 --> 01:19:28,200
- Weak?
- Yeah.
942
01:19:30,400 --> 01:19:32,600
It's okay. You can try again.
943
01:19:44,100 --> 01:19:46,700
You were so much better in my dream.
944
01:19:47,100 --> 01:19:48,400
Hold these.
945
01:19:52,700 --> 01:19:55,600
- I thought this was mutual.
- Oh, my God.
946
01:19:55,900 --> 01:19:58,800
I'm serious. I'll call you, okay?
947
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:01,800
What? Wait!
948
01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:04,500
Thanks for the flowers. Nice touch.
949
01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:07,100
I'm out of practice! I just woke up!
950
01:20:08,300 --> 01:20:09,700
Unbelievable!
951
01:20:16,900 --> 01:20:19,500
Christina Walters. Yep. I know her.
952
01:20:19,700 --> 01:20:22,500
Bitch. Made my life a living hell.
953
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:27,300
She tries to pawn me off on
her friend. She calls me a dick.
954
01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:30,000
She hunts me down like
a dog at my own wedding.
955
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:33,100
Then, when I try to
apologize, she's like:
956
01:20:33,100 --> 01:20:37,400
"I don't know you. You're one of
hundreds. I have no feelings for you�"
957
01:20:43,800 --> 01:20:45,600
Is that how I sound?
958
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:55,400
The movie is starting. Let's go!
959
01:21:23,100 --> 01:21:24,500
Fuck Grandma.
960
01:21:35,300 --> 01:21:37,100
Save yourself a buck.
961
01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:43,700
- A girl that you lick.
- Really?
962
01:21:43,900 --> 01:21:46,600
- That you lick.
- A girl that I lick?
963
01:21:53,700 --> 01:21:55,500
Are you all right?
964
01:21:56,100 --> 01:21:58,300
You're watching the credits?
965
01:22:16,300 --> 01:22:19,500
- Chicks freak on this guy.
- You owe me thirty�
966
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:30,300
Copy that.
967
01:22:37,300 --> 01:22:39,200
Is that what you want?
968
01:22:44,100 --> 01:22:47,400
I think there's always
time for a movie montage.
969
01:22:57,600 --> 01:23:00,300
I hope you like how sexy I am.
970
01:23:06,900 --> 01:23:11,500
Okay. I'm not going to be afraid.
971
01:23:14,900 --> 01:23:16,200
I'm not.
972
01:23:19,700 --> 01:23:23,000
It's a very bad rumor.
It's a rumor. I'm serious.
973
01:23:23,300 --> 01:23:24,500
Crap.
974
01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:34,600
You really got my ass. It's good.
975
01:23:38,600 --> 01:23:39,600
Cut!
976
01:23:47,700 --> 01:23:49,900
- I look beautiful.
- You look amazing.
977
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:53,200
- I look beautiful. Thank you.
- You do. Amazing.
978
01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:05,100
We can sit here like this all night.
- I bet you miss Grandma.
- Grandma.
979
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:16,600
- I'm not bah-jiggity.
- You are so bah-jiggity.
980
01:24:29,700 --> 01:24:31,900
It's Jesus. Look, it's Jesus.
981
01:24:35,900 --> 01:24:38,700
I guess a blowjob is
out of the question?
982
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:42,000
That is the sweetest thing.
Bye!
983
01:24:49,100 --> 01:24:50,800
Well, that was fun.
984
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:25,700
- It's over. Bye-bye, go home.
- You can leave.
78253
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